


The Royal's Consort

by TheRomanticist02



Category: World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Implied Mpreg, Implied/Referenced Abortion, M/M, Mpreg, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-14
Updated: 2019-04-05
Packaged: 2019-04-08 03:56:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 42
Words: 347,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14096685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRomanticist02/pseuds/TheRomanticist02
Summary: Seth's life is turned upside down after a collision in the park. It starts with a knock on his door the following day when a reporter appears at his door looking to interview him about his 'relationship' with a certain Lanuolan Prince. What happens when Seth meets the Prince again when his newfound fame spirals out of control? Will something more grow between the two men?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Heeyy =). OK so this is my first multi-chaptered story (besides the drabbles one) and I'm quite nervous about it. I've never written a full story before so I'd like feedback and constructive criticism - if that's not too much to ask.Also, I created my own country, lol. Mainly because I didn't want to mess up Samoan traditions and customs by getting them wrong.So Lanuola will be where Roman's from and it'll be next to Samoa. You'll find out more about it as I continue. And lastly, this story is Mpreg (it's tagged). And how it happens is that a rare gene passed through heredity allows a male to fall pregnant ( 's not original, I know but I'm not doing Sciences at school and couldn't come up with something else.) And thank you for reading.

_It's too fucking early,_ it's Seth's first thought as he jolts awake. He's disoriented for a good minute as he looks around his bedroom, the thick tawny curtains opened just slightly teasing the salmon and golden hues of a sun just rising. He slowly sits up the bed, rubbing his tired eyes and releasing a tired yawn. He'd worked until two in the morning last night—joys of being a bartender. _Not_. Turning on his side, the Iowan's eyes meet the offensive 07:15 flashing in red on the bedside clock. He briefly wonders why he's woken up so early in the morning when two knocks sound at his front door.

Oh.

There's someone at his door. Seth groans into his pillow before getting up. He slips on an oversized t-shirt that stops below his knees and makes his way to the front door. He didn't have that many friends other than Dean and Xavier and curiously wonders who could be knocking at his front door so early in the morning. Bypassing the kitchen, he looks into the peephole and is met with a pudgy woman with a pixie haircut. He doesn't recognize her and is somewhat hesitant as he unlocks the chain and opens the door. _Click. Click._ Tanned hands immediately go to drowsy brown eyes. "Aaah. What the – the fuck is wrong with you?!" he screams, voice dry.

There's a small chuckle before the woman's shrill voice answers. "Oh. Oh, I'm sorry. Just wanted a more clearer pic of the Prince of Lanuola's consort. I didn't know he was into guys…he's so private after all. But wow, I can see why he chose you. Things must be serious if he's appearing in public with you – hey did you know that you're the first one he's made a 'public appearance' with? Are you guys getting serious?"

Seth shakes his head in bewilderment, what the fuck is going on? He moves his hands from his still burning eyes and spots his neighbor, Mrs. Frank, peeking outside her door that's slightly ajar. He rolls his eyes and fixes his gaze on the middle aged woman at his front door. "Lady – mam. No offense but who the fuck are you? Why the fuck are you at my door at fucking seven o'clock in the morning? Don't you have a husband and kids you should be playing happy family with right now?"

The lady just laughs and playfully nudges Seth's shoulder. "I'm Vicki. I'm here to do an article on you. And gosh, you're funny. I don't have kids doll, I'm too young for that." She says all in one breath.

The word _article_ rings in Seth's still drowsy mind. Article. What article? He rubs his temples and looks at Vicki's conniving hazel eyes. "What _article?_ Are you sure you got the right address?"

"Yes. Seth Rollins.135 Ridge Avenue, Palmer Heights, Apartment 36C. Look I'm sure no other paper's approached you yet. And that's good, it means I get to report on you first…" Vicki's eyes sparkle conspiratorially and she smiles at Seth. "Means I'll finally get that Editor-in-Chief position I've been wanting. What d'you say…help a girl out." She takes a recorder out and pressing the record button, extends her arm narrowly missing Seth's mouth as she shoves the black object in his face. "So a source of mine—who I can't disclose—spotted you looking very cozy with Prince Roman at Lakefield Park yesterday. Got the pictures to go with it. So Seth, are you dating him? And how long? I mean he's a very private guy, hardly ever seen in public—I was lucky that this source even got a picture of you two."

Okay now Seth's really confused. Prince Roman. Cozy pictures. The park. What the hell is this woman talking about? Maybe she escaped a mental hospital. No, she looked too good and put together for that. "La – Vicki, I'm sorry but I don't know what you're talking about. Look I mean you have my address and name but maybe you're looking for another Seth Rollins? I – I have a shift at noon so I'm just gonna go back to bed. Good luck on searching though." Seth smiles at her, patting her shoulder and stepping back inside.

"Oh, but I have proof Seth!" Vicki shouts before Seth can close the door. She rummages inside her black Gucci, taking out a crumpled photo. "See, you can't hide it Seth. My publication will pay you, if that's what you want; though that would be useless. I mean you are seeing a wealthy Lanuolan Prince whose family owns an exotic island.

Seth snatches the picture and looks at it, it's grainy, clearly taken on someone's cellphone. It features him in his jogging clothes and the hot dude he ran into yesterday. Seth doesn't really think it's a cozy picture—like sure, the guy's hands were on his waist but that was only because they'd collided into each other. Seth could admit that he looked like a teenage girl being talked to by her high school crush in the picture. But who could blame him? The man he met yesterday was fucking sex on legs.

He was a hot as fuck exotic Adonis. So fucking hot—tall, muscular. And although he'd been wearing a loose fitting tank top, Seth remembers briefly touching rock-hard abs when they collided. The guy's golden brown skin glistened in sweat and Seth remembers his chiseled face. Intoxicating brown eyes that had Seth wanting to bend over the park benches to allow the hunky man to have his way with him. So yes, Seth had been close to cumming inside his briefs just at the sight of the man. But he'd hoped as he was talking to the guy that he wasn't that obvious. Guess he was—the crumpled picture in his hand testified to that.

"Look. I'm sorry to disappoint you Vicki. There's no story here, okay. The man was just a guy I crashed into at the park. He helped me up, checked if I was fine, apologized and moved on. That's your story. I don't think it'll be interesting though. You should probably find something else, like what do they call that TV show with all the plastic surgery family?" He motions with his hands for Vicki to help him out but she just looks at him dryly. He shrugs and snaps his fingers as he remembers. "The Kardashians. My friend Xavier said the youngest got a child—isn't that what you people are into?"

"No. That's old news. Look, I'm not asking for much here doll. These pictures I got from my source show a lot more than strangers who 'crashed' into each other at the park." Vicki says getting in Seth's face and he takes a step back. "When did you start dating? What's he like at home? Have you met the Royal family yet? Speaking of Royal families—will you be attending Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's wedding with him?" she taps her foot impatiently on the floor. "Come on Seth, don't just stand there gimme something!"

"I can't believe I woke up at fucking seven o'clock for this shit. Listen to me woman." He grabs her shoulders and shakes her with each word. "I. Don't. Have. A. Story. For. You." He lets her go and shuts the door in her face when she opens her mouth, probably to ramble some more. God, what a loud mouth.

He definitely can't go back to sleep now—Vicki's rambling took the sleep right out of him. A fist bangs at his door before Vicki's shrill voice sounds from outside the door. "I know you're lying Seth Rollins. I'll write that story with or without your help. Expect to see it, front page of The Daily Times tomorrow morning!" The sound of her stilettoes then disappear with each step she takes away from his door.

"Aaaaah! Fuck!" Seth screams in frustration. He throws the crumpled photo, aiming for the door but it only flies weakly in the air before falling down at carpeted floors. Why did it feel like a windstorm was coming?


	2. Chapter 2

_A few brown stands whip Seth's face as the brunet jogs his way back home. Gray clouds slowly filter the sun, signaling the coming of rain and the Iowan picks up his pace. It wouldn't do him well to reach home cold and wet, especially since he had a late shift at the club today. He makes a turn at the end of the children's playground and nods his head to the song playing on his phone._

_The park's exit is a few meters away and he can already see the huge Lakefield Park sign at the park's entrance when he bumps into something rock hard. An embarrassing scream leaves his lips as he flails, trying to grab onto something to stop from falling on the dirty ground. Large hands grip his waist and Seth feels himself being pulled into a solid muscled chest._

" _My apologies. I should've watched where I was going. Are you okay?"_

_Seth's mind is still jumbled and he removes his earphones as he looks into worried mahogany eyes. The Iowan's heart thuds in his chest as he takes in the man's golden brown skin and chiseled features. The man looks like an exotic Adonis with his lustrous jet-black hair that's tied into a messy bun, almond shaped eyes and the sharpest jawline Seth's ever seen. His face is framed by a semi-thick beard that brings attention to his lush pink lips._

_Seth bites on his bottom lip as his eyes fixate on the thick salmon lips that he now notices are moving. Oh. Hot Adonis dude is talking to him. He shakes his head in embarrassment and feels his cheeks growing hot._

" _I'm sorry, what?" his voice trembles as he asks the question._

" _Are you hurt?"_

_Hot Adonis dude then places his smooth big hand on Seth's forehead before trailing it to Seth's cheek. The touch burns Seth's skin—his breath hitches in his throat and he feels a stirring that he really shouldn't be feeling in such a public area. A moan that Seth disguises as a cough slips out of his lips when the hot man's big hands rest on his waist once more._

" _I-I'm fine." Seth finally answers in a raspy voice._

_Relief morphs on the man's features and he lets go of Seth's waist. Seth's heart sinks into his stomach in disappointment as those strong big hands leave him. "Good…good." Hot Adonis dude says. A smile that makes Seth's knees weak is gifted to him. "I'm going to be on my way now. Take care."_

_Hot Adonis dude turns away from him and jogs in the opposite direction towards the lake. "Uhm…wait!" Seth shouts before he can stop himself._

_Seth jogs toward him when the man stops to look at him in perplexion. "I – I am hurt." He stutters._

" _Oh?"_

_Seth steps closer to him, getting in the taller man's personal space. "Doctor said I'm lacking on a bit of vitamin D…" he trails off nibbling on the man's ear before continuing. "I think you'd be the perfect person to assist me." Seth says seductively, guiding the hot Adonis's hands towards his ass._

_Hot Adonis dude moans when Seth sucks sensually on his neck. "I need you to pound me. Can you do that for me?" looking around he sees that there's a few people around. "I want you to take me in front of all these people. I know we just met but I want you to own me in front of them…Please." He begs._

_Seth gasps when he's turned around and bent over a park bench. The rain Seth was desperately trying to escape now falls heavily at the park as Seth feels the translucent droplets pelt his bare ass. "Yesss." He hisses when he feels the hot man's thick head tease his entrance. His mind goes haywire when inch after inch of thick cock enters him slowly. A few eyes peek at him and he can practically see the people drooling at the hot sight he must be making with the hot man behind him._

" _Fuck, fuck, fuck." He cries in ecstasy when hot Adonis dude pulls out until the head is at his entrance before slamming roughly into the velvety warmth again. "Unh…unh. Aaah. Wh- unh. Y-your aaah fuck! Y-your name."_

" _Roman."_

_Ring. Ring._

_Ring. Ring._

Seth jerks out of his sleep induced state when he hears his phone ringing. "Fuck!" he shouts when he spots the tent down his nether regions hidden by the blankets. "WHAT?!" He was not in a good mood. He'd missed out on a damn good orgasm because of whichever idiot decided that it was okay to call him while he was having the raunchiest dream of his life.

A chuckle sounds on the other side of the line and Seth groans in annoyance. "What do you want Dean? I know for a fact that we don't have classes today."

Dean chuckles again before answering, "Whoa. Trouble in paradise already?"

"I'm serious Dean. I came home at fucking three a.m. and…" he trails off as he looks at the bedside watch. Seven flashes in red digits and the brunet feels like crying. Three hours. He's been asleep for only three hours and now Dean's ruined his sleep for him. "What is it with you people and waking me up at fucking seven in the morning? This can't keep happening, for fuck's sake!" Seth bellows.

"Geez. So sensitive. Calm your grumpy ass down. I just called to say I'm disappointed in you."

Seth pinches his nose in frustration, Dean was really testing his patience. "What did I do this time Dean?" the brunet asks tiredly.

"Prince Roman."

Seth's body reacts as his cock jerks in interest at the mention of _that_ name. "W-what about him?" he asks, stifling a moan.

"Don't play stupid Seth. Why didn't you tell me you were fucking dating a royal?" Dean shouts into the phone.

Seth's immediately sitting up on the bed at Dean's words. His heart feels like it might combust and he asks, "Dean…Dean, what are you talking about?"

"Seth come on. I know that Xavier's your best friend but I expected that you'd tell me something as well. We do attend the same college after all. Why didn't you tell me that you were seeing a wealthy prince?"

"I'm not." Seth says seriously.

"That's not what The Daily Times is saying though." Dean accuses.

The newspaper rings a bell in Seth's mind as he tries to place it. A curse escapes his lips when he remembers a short pudgy lady with a pixie haircut who looked like she was going through a midlife crisis. "Fuck! Fuck! FUCK!" Seth screams leaving his bed. He paces back and forth in his small apartment as he thinks back to his conversation with Vicki. "What am I going to do? Oh god, what do I do?" he whispers to himself.

"About what Seth? What's wrong?" Dean's worried voice rings out on the other side of the phone.

It's then that Seth realizes that his friend was still on the line. "Dean, listen to me…" he whispers. "I-I am not seeing anyone. I-I…this lady came to my apartment yesterday…said she saw some pictures. I didn't think she was serious Dean. Oh god, everyone's probably read it. What if people notice me?" 

He can hear some shuffling in the background as Dean answers. "Calm down, babe. How about I come over, yeah? You can explain everything when I get to your apartment."

Seth's nodding his head before Dean can even finish what he's saying and then realizes that Dean can't see him so he needs to say something. "Please." He whispers anxiously.

"Okay. I'll be there in twenty."

Their conversation ends with a click as Dean ends the call. Seth sits on his bed, shaky hand still clutching his crappy phone. He looks down at his thighs and realizes in disdain that his erection's already been killed off by news of an article being written about him. This Vicki woman was ruining everything for him, first his sleep, then his erotic dreams and now his bloody erections. Great.

"You look like hell." Dean says, immediately Seth opens the front door.

"Thanks." Seth responds. He rolls his eyes and exhales frustratedly when Dean pulls him in for a hug. Mrs. Frank from the opposite apartment gives him the stinky eye as the Iowan pulls away from Dean. "What, woman?" He asks dryly.

"I wonder what that handsome young prince saw in you. You're a rude young man." The old lady mumbles.

"My ass. It's the best he's ever had." Seth retorts.

Mrs. Frank shakes her head as she gives him the finger. "I'll pass, Mrs. Frank. I don't do dry wrinkly tacos."

Dean who's been watching the whole encounter quietly chuckles and pushes Seth inside. He issues a quick apology to Mrs. Frank before closing the door. He follows Seth to the kitchen and places a box full of donuts on the counter. "You're going to hell. Why do you insist on fighting a defenseless old woman?" He asks.

"Oh please. She's anything but defenseless. D'you know the venom that old witch can spew?" Seth asks as he turns on the kettle. He takes two plates from the cupboard and rinses them. He then hands the plates to Dean who dries them and evenly puts the donuts on each plate.

"Oh come on Seth. She's a little grumpy but that's it. Leave the poor oldie alone, you're not far from reaching her age you know." He laughs when Seth nails him with a glare from hell.

"Fuck off."

The pair make their coffee before moving into Seth's tiny living room. They settle on the old black couch and Seth moans at the sweetness of the jam donut he's munching on. "You're welcome." Dean says, amused.

Seth only moans in response, his mouth still full with the donut. "Thank you Deano. This is so good."

"I know." Dean responds as he takes out his phone. He taps on the smartphone a few times before throwing the gadget at Seth. The brunet almost drops it as the phone bounces in his hands a few times. "Why are you giving me your phone?" Seth queries.

"You're so slow sometimes. Look at the screen and read what you find there." Dean rolls his eyes at his friend.

Seth chokes on the donut he's eating. Oh no. What had Vicki done?

The Daily Times shows a picture of him and this Prince Roman, the hot man's right hand is on his forehead as Seth looks him in the eyes with a lovesick look. And even though the Prince was only checking to see if he was fine—the brunet can't deny that they did look quite intimate in the picture. His eyes widen in horror as he reads the headline. _Prince Roman finally finds love in the arms of a beautiful bartender._ Was this woman serious?

Seth reads the article and wonders how the woman was able to get his personal information. They'd gotten his age and his place of work. As his brown eyes scan the paper, a sigh of relief escapes him when he sees that nothing's been mentioned about his family. Or more accurately—his mother. He didn't need his dirty laundry hung out like that. "What am I going to do, Dean? These are all lies. I-I just crashed into the Prince at the park. This woman's lying, she's making it seem as if I'm seeing the man. And as amazing as that would be, I am _not_ seeing him. I don't even know what he was doing at that park. Don't people like him have backyards as big as parks in their mansions? What if he thinks I'm a gold digger?"

The auburn-haired man gives Seth a sympathetic look. "Calm down babe. Why would he think you're a gold digger? He doesn't even know you. Besides, you know how these reporters are; they'll write anything to get their paper to sell. Why don't you lay low? Tell Hunter you can't come into work today?"

Seth shakes his head frantically. "No, no, no. I can't do that. My rent's almost due and Sami's gone on vacation with Kevin. I don't want to find myself explaining why I'm short on rent to Mrs. Frankenstein." The brunet says nodding his head in the direction of Mrs. Frank's apartment.

"Fine." Dean sighs. He takes a sip of his coffee and smiles softly at Seth. "Just be careful. You're like famous now. A royal." He teases.

"No, I'm not. God, I hope this mess dies down soon." Seth says. His phone rings from the bedroom and he gives Dean a puzzled look. "That can't be Xavier. He knows not to call me before nine. I'm coming."

Once inside his bedroom, the brunet frowns when he sees it's a number he doesn't recognize. "Hello?"

"Seth Rollins?"

"Yes. Who is this?"

The voice on the other end of the line sounds just like Vicki's—conniving. "I'm Alicia Fox with The Real Gossip. I'm calling regarding your new relationship with Prince Ro –"

Seth hangs up before Alicia can finish. He absentmindedly takes his phone with him into the living room. Dean's turned on the TV and watching a documentary about lions when Seth enters. The auburn-haired man looks at him and sees his annoyed expression. "Who was it?"

"A sly fox." Seth grumbles. A small chuckle escapes him when he says that.

"Ohhkaaay."

Seth plops down on the couch again and shrugs. "It was a reporter. Wants inside info on my 'relationship with Prince Roman.'"

"Wow. I feel like Meghan Markle's best friend right now…although that's Xavier's position. But I come in second place, right?"

"You're crazy."

"I know, it's the reason Antonio can't get enough of me. Speaking of my daddy—I gotta bounce..." The auburn-haired man pauses for a minute before adding,"On Toni's gigantic dick."

Gagging sounds leave Seth's lips. "I didn't ask that, you whore. Leave my apartment!" He says standing up and pushing Dean out of his apartment.

His phone rings again just as he's closed the front door. He goes back into the living room and picks it up. Seth doesn't recognize the number again and is almost hesitant as he slides his thumb across the screen to answer. "H-Hello?"

"Yes. Seth Rollins. You're speaking to Michael Cole, I work for the Independent –"

Seth hangs up again not bothering to listen to what this Michael Cole had to say. These leeches all had the same tone of voice. They all sounded like sly, conniving, hungry wolves. Seth wasn't about to be tricked into saying something that they would only twist and use against him. When his phone rings again with yet _another_ number he doesn't recognize, he rejects the call again. He shoots Dean and Xavier quick texts that his phone will be off the whole day. He decides to send Hunter the message as well.

As soon as he gets confirmation that all texts have been received, Seth switches his phone off, taking out the battery. He then goes back to his bedroom and reads the digital eight-fifteen flashing on the clock. He'd covered Xavier's shift last night and had worked two late shifts back to back with only a few hours of sleep. He decides to catch on a few hours of sleep, Hunter had scheduled him for six until late so he'd still have time to clean his apartment. The place looked like a pigsty as he hasn't had much time to look after the place between college and bartending.

Immediately his head hits the fluffy pillow, Seth's eyes droop tiredly. Darkness overtakes him and he drifts off to lala land.

Seth enters The Black Vault fifteen minutes before his shift starts and immediately trails his way into the locker rooms. The Black Vault is one of the hottest and trendiest erotica gay bars in Tampa. It has three dancefloors, two on ground level and one on the first level where there's also six VIP areas, complete with cages for dancers and strip poles. The first level also includes six private rooms for those wanting to engage in more 'private' matters. Seth has been in those private rooms quite a few times as well, when his rent wanted to show him that he was just like his mother—a whore who'd do anything for money.

Seth's heart drops at his feet as the thought crosses his mind. His mind slowly drifts to dangerous thoughts and he's thankful when the door opens and in walks his best friend.

"Well, well, well…if it isn't the Prince's consort," Xavier teases. "I have to say, I'm disappointed that you didn't tell me you met a fuck hot Prince to keep you warm at night."

Seth rolls his eyes as he turns away from Xavier so that the brown skinned man can zip up his spandex vest. "I don't have anyone to keep me warm at night. It's that bitch reporter…coming up with all those lies. Do you know how hard it was for me to get here today? People were looking at me and pointing fingers, Xavier." Seth groans as he slips on his black and pink spandex tights. "Some of them wanted my pictures and a little boy even cried for one…that woman's turned my life upside down."

Xavier looks at Seth apologetically as he slips on his own uniform. "I'm sorry, babe. Why didn't you just ask for the day off, lay low for a bit."

Seth's dismissing the idea even before Xavier can finish. "Dean said the same thing but I can't. My rent's due next week. Sami's gone on vacation and I don't want to deal with Mrs. Frank. She hates me, you know that."

"If you're stranded, I could help you out. I can speak to Ran-"

"Don't bother." Seth interrupts as he zips up Xavier's vest as well. "I'm almost there anyway. I'll have the full amount by Friday."

Xavier eyes him with a disbelieving look but says nothing as he shoves his duffle bag into his locker. He waits for Seth to do the same before they exit the locker rooms on the second level that's only for personnel and Hunter's closest friends. "So we're tending on the first level tonight." Seth says.

Xavier ignores him for a full minute as they go down the marble stairs, watching the gyrating bodies dancing erotically under the red and blue lights flashing on the dancefloor. The curly-haired man looks at Seth worriedly. "I'm serious Seth, I can help you if you're in trouble. I don't want feeling like you have to go to the private rooms."

They go behind the counter and they both greet another bartender, Kofi, before Seth gives Xavier a quick hug. "I haven't been there in months Xavier. I don't plan on going back there anytime soon. You're so young, you need to stop stressing so much. You'll be old and gray by the time you're my age."

"Man, you're making it sound like you're ten years older than me or something. You're twenty-nine and I'm twenty-two. Stop it."

"I was still born in the eighties."

Xavier sticks his tongue out at him as Kofi chuckles besides them and serves a tipsy woman in skimpy latex. "Whatever."

A little while over eight, Kofi bids them goodbye when his shift's over. They look at the man with the dreadlocks make his way to the second level where Hunter sits on his 'throne' and watches over everything happening at the club. "He's going to get his ass split in half, isn't he?" Xavier laughs when Hunter follows Kofi to the hallway.

Seth chuckles and follows Xavier's eyes. "Yup." He nods.

A sultry smile forms on his lips when a man in a crisp suit nears the bar. "What can I get you?" the brunet drawls.

"Whiskey…and a little private time when you take your break."

"Whiskey coming right up." Seth responds, ignoring the last part of the man's statement. He places the drink on the counter and flinches slightly when the big man deliberately brushes his fingers against his own.

The man who's built like bricks and has white-blondish hair chugs the brown liquid down his throat and licks his lips while nailing Seth with an intense gaze. The gaze repulses Seth but he still smiles tightly, he needed all the tips he can get. "So what'd you say pretty boy, join me in the private rooms later tonight?"

Seth tilts his head and sees Xavier staring at him with worried eyes. He smiles and shakes his head reassuringly. Looking back at the big man, Seth gives him an apologetic smile. "I'll pass."

"Come on…it'll be great. Remember how much fun we had the last time. You were so hot and tight. Money's not a problem, you know that."

The brunet's body heats up in shame but he still shakes his head—attempting to hold his ground. "I said n-no. I don't do that anymore."

He feels small and dirty when the man laughs at him—a harsh condescending chuckle that has Seth wanting to hide in a dark corner. "What? You've suddenly gained morals?...I wonder why," the pale man then holds his chin and pretends to be contemplating something. "Oh, I know. What are the papers saying? You've met a 'Prince'" another condescending laugh sounds before he continues. "I wonder what your Lanuolan Prince would say if he found out about your other activities. What would he say if he knew you whore yourself out for money, I bet he'd dump you like the scum that you are…now listen to me. I want you to come join me in the private rooms on your break. It's not a request." The man orders.

"No." Seth whispers. "I don't want to, I'm not going."

The man's sky blue eyes turn cold as he glares at Seth. "Where's Hunter? I'm going to report you for bad service. I'm a client goddamit, you can't turn me down!" the man shouts, leaving the bar area for the stairs leading to the second level.

"Are you okay?" Xavier asks over the loud music.

"F-fine." Seth stutters.

Their conversation ends there as they get back to their jobs and watch the gyrating bodies dance sensually to Rihanna's Rude boy.

It's not even ten minutes later that the man with the bulging muscles left for the second level that he's dragged down by security. "I'm a fucking client. You can't do this to me you sons of bitches!" His gaze again connects with Seth and he nails Seth with an icy glare that has the Iowan shivering cold. "You! I'll fucking get you for this, you righteous whore!" the man shouts as he's dragged to the ground floor, disappearing from Seth's view.

The whole world seems to stop as all the attention falls on Seth. "WHAT?" the brunet screams over the loud music. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE Y'ALL LOOKING AT?"

"Seth, calm down." Xavier says softly placing a hand on his shoulder.

"I – I have to go. I'm sorry Xavi, I can't do this."

"Hey, it's okay. The bar's closing in an hour anyway. I can make it on my own until then."

"Thank you. P-please tell Hunter, I'll see him to-tomorrow." Seth says shakily as he allows the younger man to pull him into a hug.

Seth leaves the bar area, bypassing Hunter's office where he can hear Kofi's screams. The dark skinned man sounds like he's in heaven and hell at the same time. He briefly wonders if the two are now going steady—they've had this thing going on for the past two years and it's a surprise that Kofi isn't pregnant yet with how much the two fuck like rabbits.

Entering the employees' locker rooms, Seth takes out his bag and pulls on his baggy sweatshirt, deciding to leave his tights on. He ties his brown mane into a messy bun and leaves the second floor. Xavier smiles and waves him goodbye as he passes the first level for the ground floor. At the employees' exit, he fist bumps a couple of bouncers and smiles at them.

Seth strides towards his rusty silver Volvo in The Black Vault's employees parking. Getting in the car, he's just exited the parking area when a light flashes in his eyes. He stops the car and looks around. Another flash sounds and before Seth knows it, multiple flashes come from every direction. There's a knock on his window and he jerks in shock as many faces look into his car. There's a ruckus as the damn paparazzi snap his pictures. A groan escapes his lips. Oh no…not this again. "Seth Rollins. You're a male carrier, right? Is it true that the Prince's already planning a family with you? How did the royal family react when they found out that you work for an erotica gay club?"

Those are some of the questions the brunet hears being shouted. These vultures—how did they found out he was a carrier? "Has the Prince met your parents? What kind of role model do you think you'll be to the kids belonging to the Lanuola kingdom?" Seth sighs and turns the volume up to drown out the paparazzi. He puts his car into gear and drives off.


	3. Chapter 3

Seth's barely closed the front door when his legs give out and he falls butt first on the ground, his back leaning against the white oak door. One shaky hand moves thick brown hair away from a cold face before the brunet props his arms on his knees, his head resting on them. Don't cry he tells himself even as the tears threaten to disobey his instruction—attempting to break free from heavy eyelids. God, he was weak.

One month. He couldn't even survive one month without being lured back into temptation. But what could he do? It's been one week since Vicki's article. A week since his life was turned into a public spectacle…and things had only gotten worse. How many times was he followed this week by the media and people he didn't know? How many times was he hounded with questions he had no answers to? How many times had he appeared in news and gossip sites with more false information written about him and his 'relationship' with the Prince?

The whole thing wasn't only affecting him emotionally—it was putting a strain on his financial life as well. Seth could count the number of times he made any tips week. So many people flogged The Black Vault but few left him any tips—apparently he didn't need them. He was dating an exotic wealthy Prince after all so what difference would a few dollars make to someone who had thousands more in the bank?

So he couldn't be blamed, he was human after all. He had human needs—food, water, clothing, a warm place to stay. These whole misunderstandings and debacles with the media left him a desperate man—one who would do anything to survive. It's the reason he went back there. It's the reason he'd…

Seth's hand goes to cover his mouth as he feels nausea creeping up from just thinking about it. He'd only eaten four slices of bread in the morning and his stomach was in knots from hunger pains but it still didn't stop the bile from increasing. Seth stands up on wobbly legs and makes it to the bathroom in time before he falls on his knees again. His hands clutch the toilet in a white-knuckled grip and his thick brown mane curtains his face as he spills acid inside the toilet.

Everything hurts.

One shaky hand lifts to flush the toilet before the brunet crawls towards the bathtub and rests against the egg shaped tub. "No, no, no. Please don't," he whispers to himself when his eyes betray him and a tear slips out of his left eye. Pain. His heart clenches painfully. His hands are trembling, his throat constricted and lumpy. His lips tremble when he bites on them in an effort to not make any sound. Sure his eyes have betrayed him—the tears are like an overflowing river now but he _can't_ let out a sound. That would just be stupid, because if he lets out a sound then he'll eventually lose his breath from all the crying.

And so Seth cries silently, finally giving in to his mind's sadistic torture as it travels on its own accord to the night's earlier events.

_Seth smiles at the long-haired chubby man, with an expensive looking suit, making his way to the bar area, "Hey there…what can I get you?"_

_The man's eyes travel to Seth's chest area, reading the brunet's name that's embedded in pink on his black spandex vest. Seth doesn't miss how the man's eye fixate on his lips as he answers, "I'll have a…Jack and Coke."_

_Seth nods his head, getting the man's drink for him. "Anything else?"_

_The man takes a sip of his drink and licks his lips in a way that Seth finds creepy. "Actually yes," the man replies. "I want to get a taste of your ass."_

_Seth's dumbfounded for a second. The man's so random, he thinks. He clears his throat and is about to decline the offer when his mind reminds him of what's waiting for him at home._

_Hunger._

_He'd finished the last four slices of bread he'd had just that morning. And then he'd spent four excruciating hours in college on virtually an empty stomach because he couldn't afford to spend his last money on expensive college food. And it's not because he's been reckless with his money, on the contrary, Seth only spent his money on essentials. But the customers at the club haven't been all that giving lately and Seth had soon realized that it was because for some dumb reason the club's dimwits thought that he didn't need anymore tips because he was 'dating' a Prince. So what'd he need their petty tips for?_

_The man is still looking at Seth as the brunet shakes away his thoughts. He doesn't trust the wily glint he sees in the man's blue eyes and looks away from him. His eyes land on one of the club's dancers, Fandango, as the man gyrates his body to the sensual beat of the song playing in nothing but a skimpy gold thong in a cage. The man's twerking his ass like his life depends on it and Seth looks away, conflicted brown eyes going back to expectant blue ones._

_Just until this whole media mess dies down…you need the money, he tells himself._

_He forces himself not to think about how much Xavier will be disappointed in him. Forces himself to not look at said man, who's a little distance away from him, yelling excitedly to Kofi about something Randy did for him. "Okay," he says barely above a whisper, not caring whether or not the chubby man heard him._

" _Good." So the man did hear him. "When's your break?"_

_Seth's eyes goes to the black watch on the first level, it reads 11:44, "Fifteen minutes." He responds._

" _I want you to join me…Private Room 12B."_

" _Okay," the word leaves his lips with difficulty. It sounded constricted, forced and he prays that Bray didn't hear it._

_Bray nods and finishes his drink before paying for it and heads in the directions of the private rooms._

_~_

_Seth's insides twist in knots the minute the club's watch reads midnight. "I'll see you guys in 30," he says looking at his colleagues._

_Kofi smiles and nods his head whilst Xavier pouts, "Aren't you waiting for me?"_

_Seth shakes his head no. "I'll be stepping out for a smoke anyway."_

_Xavier eyes him up and down suspiciously, "I thought you said you quit smoking," the chocolate skinned man says._

_Seth has to make a conscious effort not to fidget. Xavier was so perceptive sometimes—he had this ability to see through people's bullshit stories. And it pissed Seth off to no end. What to say? "I-I did," he mentally curses as the response comes out stuttered._

_One thick eyebrow lifts in disbelief, "Oh?" Xavier asks._

" _I just had a test I'm really nervous about." Seth explains. It's not exactly a lie—he had written a test earlier that day. But he wasn't really nervous about it—he knew he'd aced it. Seth Rollins couldn't be a dumb whore after all. He sighs as the thought comes to mind and leaves the bar area when Xavier nods his head, albeit hesitantly._

_Seth makes sure that Xavier is distracted by one of the customers at the bar area as he maneuvers his way around the gyrating bodies on the dancefloor, heading in the direction of the private rooms. He fails to see Kofi's curious brown eyes following his retreating form._

_He only has to wait for a few seconds after he's knocked on the black door for it to open. The chubby man clearly means business as he's already taken all of his clothing off, save for his expensive looking silky boxers. "Aaah Seth…feels like I've been waiting forever." The man drawls. "Come on in," he adds opening the door a little wider._

_Seth steps inside before he can change his mind and hears the door close and lock behind him. His back remains turned on the man and he jumps a bit when thick hands grip his waist firmly. "I'm Bray." The man's hot breath fans in his ear._

_Seth stops himself from recoiling in disgust. Instead he gives a small nod and allows Bray to turn him around. The kiss Bray initiates catches Seth off guard and he chides himself. He's a goddamn prostitute—he should always be prepared for things like this. The kiss is hard, painful—Bray is practically eating his lips. He bites on them, drawing blood and invades Seth's mouth, shoving his tongue down the smaller man's throat. Seth takes it all, he doesn't complain. He has no right to—he needs the money._

_His feet move as Bray leads them towards the bed. His calves touch the bed and Bray turns him around. He gasps when he's bent over the bed, his feet still firmly planted on the ground. Bray's impatient as he roughly tugs off Seth's work tights. Seth closes his eyes and clasps the bedsheets, he distantly hears the sound of a condom wrap ripped open. "Aaah!" he screams when Bray shoves inside him. No warning. No prep. Nothing._

_All breath leaves him as the fat man behind him starts driving in and out of his hole without giving him a chance to adjust to his size. His eyes remain shut and he bites on the bedsheets to keep from crying out. This is what whores deserve. Bear the brunt. And so Seth takes it, even as the pain threatens to knock his lights out. "Y-you're so tight." Bray stammers behind him whilst grabbing Seth by his hair and pressing a thick hand on the small of Seth's back causing it to arch painfully. "Fuck! I-is this w-what drew that fucking P-Prince in? He got hooked on your tight ass, huh?"_

_Seth doesn't respond, he's too ashamed to. His neck cracks when Bray shoves his head back on the bed, angling it to rest on one side. He face is crushed into the mattress as Bray tears him apart with his dick. Seth senses when the other man's about to finish as his rhythm becomes sloppy. His breath hitches when Bray finally comes inside the condom and pulls out of him._

_Seth moans in pain as straightens uo slowly after pulling his work tights back on. He tucks his flaccid dick inside his pants and pulls the zip up. Bray's footsteps sound as he comes back from the bathroom, "You're a great fuck." Bray's husky voice rings out as soon as he steps out the bathroom._

_Shame fills Seth's entire being but he turns around, a fake smile forming on bruised lips as he looks at Bray. "My break's almost over."_

" _Course." Bray replies. He picks up his dress pants from the elegant maroon couch and takes out $50. "This should be enough. You are bending over for someone more richer after all," says the chubby man. He gives Seth the note and gives him a once over, "Now get the fuck out of my room. I paid for it."_

_Seth's scurrying out of the room then, rushing to one of the toilets in the hallway. Disgust in himself creeps up, he smells like sex and Bray and he itches to get the smells off of him but he can't. He's only going to reach his apartment around 03:00. He swallows harshly, the bile threatening to come up. He's trying to gain some balls to look himself in the mirror when the door opens and in walks Kofi._

" _You gotta stop doing this to yourself Seth…" Kofi starts. "You can't sell your body for money forever."_

_Kofi's words ignite an angry fire in Seth. Kofi doesn't know what he's talking about. He knows nothing. "Just like you sell your body to Hunter who still fucks other people?" He scoffs._

_Kofi's eyes widen, the brown pools swimming with unshed tears. "I-I'm just trying to help Seth," the dark skinned man whispers._

" _Fuck off! How can you help me when you can't even stop your fucking 'boyfriend' from using you like he uses almost everyone's hole in this fucking club!" Seth shouts._

_The tears spill out of Kofi's hurt brown orbs then. The older man nods his head and goes inside one of the empty stalls. "Shit! Shit, I'm sorry Kofi. I-I didn't mean it." Seth shouts, guilt and regret plaguing him._

"' _S okay," comes Kofi's emotional reply. "My shift's ended. Could you…could you please go tell H-Hunter that I left?"_

_Seth nods his head even though Kofi can't see him. "Of course. I…I'm sorry again." Seth says one last time before exiting the toilets._

The sobs he was desperately trying to keep at bay start as soon as tonight's events come back to mind. So many derogatory words bounce off his mind.

_Trash_

_Worthless_

_Dirty_

_Plaything_

_Slut_

Seth grasps his hair in an effort to get a grip in reality. His silent cries have turned into heavy sobs and he cab slowly feel himself losing his breath. _Calm down. Seth, calm down._ He repeats over and over again in his head but it doesn't help. He'd sold himself again. For a measly _$50._ Seth cries until his eyes become droopy. He cries until exhaustion kicks in and he collapses on the cold hard floor, his world darkcovers. His mind finally switching off. If only for a few hours.

~

It's the sound of the front door opening that wakes him up the next morning. Only two people have his house keys—Xavier and Dean. He slowly gets up the floor, finding it extra difficult as he feels the effects of last night's activities. He shakes his head. No. He's not going to think about last night.

"Seth?"

Seth recognizes the voice as belonging to Xavier. "Coming." He replies hoarsely. He then covers his hand over his mouth and cringes at his morning breath. Seth decides to brush his teeth before exciting and heading in the direction of the kitchen.

Xavier looks up at him when he enters. "Hi," he smiles and motions for Seth to join him on one of the stools at the kitchen island.

Seth's eyes travel to the McDonald's meals on the kitchen counter as he limps his way towards Xavier. The other man frowns at his funny walk. "You're limping."

Seth rolls his eyes as he takes a seat next to Xavier. "Really? I didn't notice."

"Don't be a smartass." Xavier chides. "I just want to know why."

Seth stalls by munching on his breakfast. He swallows and takes a sip of his coffee before answering, "I got hurt in the bathroom, stubbed my toe against the door."

"That shit hurts Seth. How come I didn't hear you scream?" Xavier asks accusingly

Seth goes for what he hopes is a nonchalant shrug. "I couldn't even bring myself to scream. Hurt too much."

Xavier huffs. "Mhm…"

"So what brings you here at…whatever the time is?"

"It's our joined off day. Figured we'd do something fun together. Dean said you guys don't have a class today. Your lecturer went away for an early weekend?"

"Yup." Seth replies before taking a bite of his burger. He covers his hand with his mouth. "So what'd you wanna do?"

"I'm not sure. Randy said there's this – "

"Hold that thought. I'm coming," Seth replies when his phone starts ringing.

Seth heads in the hallway where he left his bag last night. He searches the black bag and retrieves the gadget at the bottom of his backpack. Dean's goofy face and name appear on the screen. "Dean." He answers.

"What did you do?"

The tone of Dean's voice worries Seth—it sounds urgent, scared…disappointed. But why? Seth wracks his brains trying to remember if he'd offended Dean these past few days but comes up with nothing. "What do you mean?" he asks worriedly.

"Seth, your fucking name is all over the tabloids! They're talking about you whoring your body out to The Black Vault's customers. How the fuck did they know that?! D'you realize how this tarnishes your name?! Seth, my god, I thought you said you were done! So how?!" Dean shouts into the phone.

Seth's whole world shatters and falls in a million pieces around him. He can feel the blood drain from his body and his heart fall with a thump at his feet. "W-what?" he whispers shakily.

"They have pictures. Pictures, Seth!" Dean's shouting continues. "How in god's name will you get out of this mess?"

"I-I don't know. I – I…" Seth trails off, not knowing what to say. Last night's bile rapidly increasing as Seth drops his phone on the floor and rushes towards the bathroom. He vomits this morning's food and grips his stomach in pain as he continues gagging and vomiting. He distantly hears Xavier asking what's wrong and assumes that he must've dropped his phone where the younger man could see it.

His vision is blurry and he feels Xavier's gentle caress on his back as the younger man rubs it in circles. "Let it out…'s okay." Xavier's voice soothes. Seth gags and dry heaves again—his midsection hurting. There's nothing left to discharge. He sits back and rests his tired body against the bathroom. "I'm so sorry, babe." Xavier whispers before pulling Seth into his arms.

Seth can feels the tears pushing behind his eyes—the salty liquid wanting to escape past his eyelids, like they did last night. "N-no…" his voice cracks when the liquid substance finally trails down his cheeks. "No. I – they won't leave me alone. T-they…they're s-showing the world what a bitch I am. I'm a fucking tramp and n-now the world knows it. They know that I'm worth –"

"Shh…shh. It'll be okay." Xavier soothes, hugging the crying man close.

"No. No it won't." Seth cries, shaking his head frantically. "It won't be okay as long as they don't l-let me be. I'm not fucking famous Xavier! I didn't a-ask for this." Seth's rambling continues, his eyebrows furrowing in sadness. "Why me?"

"I don't know, babe. I'm sorry," Xavier replies, kissing the older man's messy hair.

"Why won't he say anything? Why won't he clear this up? He can _end_ this and all he's been is quiet. W-why?"

Xavier's confused as to who exactly this _he_ Seth is talking about is until there's a lightbulb switch. Oh. The Prince. The curly-haired man would be lying if he said he didn't wonder the same thing. In the seven days that news of Seth's supposed 'relationship' with the Prince broke—there's been no word from the other man. He's been mum on the issue while Seth was harassed by the press, day in, day out. Seth was being stalked by strangers and The Black Vault's been flooded by so many people this whole week—all of them wanting to see the Prince's 'lover' face-to-face.

Xavier wasn't the one being followed but even he felt tired of the people's pestering. Two days ago they'd gone for a walk in the park with Dean when two reporters began snapping pictures of them. They hadn't been doing anything interesting and they'd still appeared on numerous publications later that day with articles about their 'lazy walk at the park' written along with pictures posted as proof.

Xavier's heart went out to the man he considered his brother—he could only imagine the pain Seth was going through. And yet through all this, Prince Roman remained silent as if the royal son of a bitch didn't realize that he was the only one who'd be able to clear up the misunderstanding and get the media's hungry claws off of Seth's back.

"I don't know Seth" Xavier sighs. "Maybe he's busy with uh – I don't know…royal stuff…business?" he asks unsurely.

Seth shrugs tiredly and allows Xavier to pull him up and lead him to his bedroom. He undresses in front of him and gets beneath the bedsheets. The bed dips next to him as Xavier sits on the bed. "You don't have to stay." He whispers.

"I know."

"Then you can go."

"I want to stay." Xavier responds, stroking Seth's hair.

Seth sighs and closes his eyes. "I just want to be alone for a bit, Xav. 'M tired."

A soft kiss is placed on his forehead before Xavier's weight lifts off the bed. "Promise to call?" Xavier asks worriedly.

A small smile plays on Seth's lips at Xavier's question. Such a mother hen. "I promise." He says allowing his eyes to open and follow Xavier's lean build a he exits the bedroom and closes it with a soft click.

Left alone in his thoughts, Seth grabs one of the fluffy pillows and allows it to comfort him. His eyes slide shut once more and he prays that when he wakes, he'll be the Seth Rollins from a week ago—the twenty-nine year old nobody working hard to finish his Psychology degree and make something better of himself.

~

The next time Seth wakes up, it's already dark outside. It's not that late, he assumes, as the city's still bustling with sounds of the busy night life. The sounds usually excite him but today they do no such thing. Instead his mind keeps repeating one thought in his head.

_All those people will look at you and know how worthless you are. They'll know that you're just like a her—a filthy whore. Like mother, like son._

"It's not true," he whispers in the darkness. Bray immediately comes to mind as he says that. Nausea creeps up again. He's filthy. He needs a bath. He turns on his bedside lamp on and leaves his bed. He makes his way into the bathroom and starts the bath. Removing his briefs, the brunet submerges himself inside the scalding hot water. Seth doesn't mind the way the water burns his skin—he relishes in it, anything to distract him from his sadistic mind's taunting. He embraces the pain wholeheartedly and rests his head on the edge of the bathtub.

Several minutes later, the brunet finally decides to clean himself. He uses his vanilla and orchid gel to scrub himself clean and cries when he cleans his hole. _It_ _hurts._

Once done, Seth heads back to his bedroom and puts on a fresh oversized t-shirt and tiny briefs. Although exhausted, he decides to go relax in the living room a bit. Seth scrolls through the different channels and settles on watching an action movie that only ends up serving as background noise.

His eyes drift to the coffee table and he spots his phone on it. He gives in to the curiosity of finding out the truth of Dean's words and he scrolls through the different news and gossip sites.

_Prince Roman involved with a prostitute!_

_Prince of Lanuola's mystery park man, an escort._

_Future King of Lanuola tarnishes country's pride by associating with prostitutes._

_What kind of role model will the Prince's new boyfriend, Seth Rollins, set for the people of Lanuola?_

The articles are endless and Seth knows he shouldn't be causing himself more heartache by reading the damn things but maybe he's some sort of masochist. Because even as the articles tear him apart bit by bit, he reads one article and moves on to the next.

The commentary on each article, though, kills him the worst. Because why would he care about one story-hungry writer's article? That's only one person. But the commentary—the commentary are the people. And the things that people are saying about him have him gasping in pain. So many hateful and judgemental comments. There's so many from 'Seth Rollins is a slut who'll only destroy Lanuola customs and traditions, he should just go back to the slums he came from' to 'Seth Rollins would only bring shame to the offspring of the Lanuola royals.' and 'Seth Rollins is a carrier right? Well the bitch doesn't deserve the gift of bringing life on this earth. He'd only embarrass his children. Prince Roman deserves so much better."

Seth chuckles humorlessly as he reads their comments because don't these people think he _knows?_ Don't they think he knows that he deserves to die alone? Don't they think he knows that no man in their right mind would want to have kids with a fucking tainted prostitute? "I already knew I wasn't worthy so j-joke's on y-you." He stammers.

Just then, there's two firm knocks at his door and he looks at the time on his phone: 09:29. Who could be coming to him at this time of the night? "Coming." He shouts when the knocks sound again.

He blinks once, twice when he opens the door as his eyes take in the intimidating figure at his door. Seth's heart stops working for a second, his hands shake. His eyes widen and Seth realizes the man's not alone as a large man stands behind the man but Seth's gaze is focused on _him_ as he speaks, "Seth Rollins." The man says, all deep and velvety voiced.

"H-Hello." Seth replies, heart dropping to his stomach in nervousness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Seth. Who do you think leaked those photos? The motive? Please feel free to share your thoughts :)


	4. Chapter 4

The Prince's eyes roam Seth's body up and down and the brunet can't help the blush that paints his cheeks cherry red. Maybe he shouldn't have answered the door in just an oversized t-shirt and briefs—the t-shirt reaches his thighs and his briefs are tiny so they are hidden beneath the grey t-shirt.

He holds his breath when the royal's eyes meet his. "May I have a word with you Seth Rollins?"

Seth gives a small head nod and opens the door to his small apartment wider. The Prince's exotic scent assaults his nostrils oh his way in—he smells of coconuts and exotic spices—and Seth has to make a conscious effort to not inhale the delicious scent deeply. He closes the door after the big dark skinned man following the Prince enters. Seth can't help but think the man looks like that brick character from the Fantastic Four movies—he's stacking muscle upon muscle.

He leads the two men into his tiny living room but not without embarrassment. The clothes both men are wearing probably cost more than the expensive rent he pays for his small apartment. The man built like bricks remains standing when he gestures for them to take a seat on his old couch.

The Prince takes a seat and Seth sits on the opposite couch. His t-shirt lifts slightly as he sits down and the brunet pulls the grey item down. The Prince's eyes follow the movement and he clears his throat. "So…" the Prince starts, looking at Seth with unreadable eyes. "This is Manuia, my bodyguard." He gestures to the man who's decided to stand on one corner of Seth's living room. "I am Prince Roman of Lanuola but prefer to drop the titles, they bring unwanted attention. So you're allowed to call me Roman."

Seth nods his head and gives the man what he hopes is a relaxed smile. His nerves and emotions are all over the place. The last twenty four hours have been a nightmare and he's not okay. "My name is Seth Rollins." Roman's eyes remain on him.

"It seems you and I have ourselves some problems, Seth Rollins."

"I know…" Seth replies shakily. An arm goes around his waist as his mind goes back to the comments he'd been reading just before the royal's 'visit'.

Roman's eyes go to his Haute Joaillerie watch as he the time with an impatient look before going back to Seth. "I am a very busy man. So busy in fact that I hardly have time to sit down and read the news. I was surprised when on Monday morning, my second-in-command came to me with an article by a certain newspaper—I'm sorry I don't remember the name. My mind tends to block out the negative and petty. I advised him to ignore the article because a man of my stature knows better than to feed into the media's ravenous hunger for the 'next big story'. I _don't_ under any circumstances humor the media, Mr. Rollins. It's how I've remained a mystery to them for so long. The less they know about me the better. But it seems that meeting you has ruined all that."

"I've been in my birth country for the past four days and I come back to news of your fame having increased exponentially. _In just four days._ I come back to news of you being a _prostitute._ Now I'm not one to judge people because of their job profession but when it drags _my_ name in the mud, I have to intervene. I will not be vilified for something I have no knowledge of. Manuai…" the Prince's bodyguard makes his way to him and hands him about a dozen newspapers and magazines. Roman throws the items across the coffee table towards Seth and remains with a manila folder in his hand. "I want you to look at all these publications Seth Rollins. I want you to see the consequences of your actions—how you're destroying lives. My people and I are being castrated alive because of what? What exactly are you looking for? Fame? Money? What do you want?"

Seth's eyes downcast in shame at the Prince's words. He tries to find the words to defend himself. He is the victim. He's the one being shamed and judged and ridiculed. "I— it's not my fault." He whispers, in a shame-filled voice.

"How is it not your fault?" Roman snaps as he looks at the smaller man, whose gaze isn't meeting him. That adds to his anger—in Lanuola, it's disrespectful to not look someone in the eyes when they're addressing you. Especially someone of his importance. He's a _royal._ He deserves to be treated with respect. "Look at me when I am talking to you!" his voice raises a little higher. When the other man's eyes meet him—scared, ashamed, he continues. "How is this not your fault? Is it not your pictures that are flooding the internet? Is it not your face that's shown with another man? Is it not you that's bended over a bed in some room? What exactly are your intentions? WHAT DO YOU WANT, SETH ROLLINS?"

"PEACE! I-I want you all to leave me alone. Why won't you leave me alone?" Seth asks, his own voice lifting. His hands shake, in anger, in shame, in wretchedness. "Please…leave me alone."

He frowns in sadness when the Prince maliciously laughs at him. He throws the manila folder towards Seth. "Leave you alone? Do you think I want to be here? With a goddam attention-hungry _prostitute._ It runs in your family, your mother is one too, correct? What I don't understand is why a _prostitute_ wants to be associated with royalty? You could've chosen anyone. Anyone! And yet you choose to tarnish _my_ name. A reputable and respected man among my associates, among my people. I have kids and young men in Lanuola who look up to me. And you barge in my life uninvited to destroy everything I've worked and continue working hard towards. People like you make me sick. People that don't want to work hard to make something of themselves so they take the easy way out and sell their souls to the devil. I should ruin you…" Roman bellows, standing up. "…but I'm not going to. You're just some scum beneath my shoe."

He turns to leave and is stopped by Seth's, "You don't know what you're talking about." Anger burns Seth's insides because he's just as frustrated as Roman. He's the one taking the most shit from people. He's the one with no food in his apartment at the moment. He's the one who'd had to bend over for $50 because he didn't have any other choice.

Roman turns to look at him, his jaw ticking in anger. "What did you say?"

"You don't know what you're talking about! You live off Mommy's and Daddy's wealth and don't know what it's like to be born poor. You don't know what it's like to go to bed hungry. You don't know what it's like to be so desperate for money you'd do anything because your rent is due. You don't know how soul crushing it is to be treated like a nuisance because you're always begging for food. Begging for clothes. Begging for money."

"So what, you want me to feel sorry for you?" the Prince snaps looking into hurt doe eyes. The pair have somehow drifted towards each other through all the shouting they've been doing. The Prince's minty breath fans his face with each soul crushing word he utters harshly. "I'm going to do no such thing! You have _no idea_ just _how_ hard I've worked to be where I am today. You have _no_ idea how hard I continue to work each and every day for myself, for my country, for my people. So don't you dare expect me to feel sorry for you! When life gets tough, you fight to make it better Seth Rollins—you don't take the easy way out. You get up and prepare yourself for battle. Life constantly works against us but someone who's got a fighting spirit in them gets up and fights. Fights to make their life better. They don't make petty excuses like you're doing."

Roman's eyes are blazing in anger, the bigger man's intimidating figure looming over him. It makes Seth feel so small and he unconsciously shrinks away in fear. Immediately he does that, Roman's imposing figure nears him again—so, so close that he can feel the rapid thumping of the other man's heartbeat. Roman's chest lifts and falls with each breath he takes.

Seth can smell Roman's expensive cologne, it clouds his senses and he trembles. And he can tell that this trembling isn't _just_ one of anger. It's of anger and _something_ _else_. Something more dangerous. _Need._ Seth looks away in mortification. He _shouldn't_ be feeling things for this man. This arrogant man who's just insulted him and continues to make him feel worthless."

"You will look at me when I am addressing you!"

Seth's eyes instantly go back to him. "I…you've clearly made up your mind about me. If there's nothing else I'd like you to leave, please."

Roman's eyes have him transfixed. They burn with anger but Seth _can't_ look away. Not again. His breath hitches as the Prince leans in slowly towards him. "With pleasure." A deep whispers in his ear. There's a cold air when the other man steps away from him. "Manuia. We're leaving." Roman says, nodding to his bodyguard to follow him.

Seth follows them into the hallway. He opens his door and is about to close it when the royal stops him, the bigger man digs into his dress pants and takes out his wallet. He takes out a $100 note. "For your failed efforts," he says, throwing the money at Seth.

"You fucking arrogant piece of shit!" Seth shouts at Roman's retreating back. He slams the door and collapses on cold hard tiles. He folds his legs and wraps his arms around them. "That rich bastard," he whispers to himself.

He's been called so many words in the past. By his mother. By his mom's lovers. By his clients. He's been even been called words by people he thought were his friends. Hell, he's just been called words and judged by people who didn't even know him. But none of those words have made him feel as worthless and as useless as the royal's had when he'd shouted at him.

And the look he'd given Seth as he threw the money at him—like Seth was an annoying pest that he wanted to get rid off. A shudder leaves his lips. Why was the world so against him? What had he done? Was this karma for someone he'd unknowingly wronged?

Seth crawls towards the $100 note that's a little distance away from him. Shaky hands grab the note, he's about to piece the damn paper in half when he stops himself. _You need the money,_ his mind tells him. Conflicted, the brunet squashes the note in his hand and lays on the cold floor—he's been doing that a lot lately. He curls in on himself, silent tears trickling down his eyes. His tears feel like acid and he hates himself for being so vulnerable, so… _weak_. When his eyes slide shut—he's invaded with dreams of blazing brown eyes. Except this time, they blaze with something else. The penetrating brown eyes blaze with want and fiery passion.

* * *

 

"Don't you think you were too hard on him?"

Roman meets Manuia's eyes on the rearview mirror. "Are you questioning my authority?" he asks, his left eyebrow lifting as he waits for a response.

"Of course not, Your Highness," the other man responds as he stops the car at a red light. "I'm just…well he's the victim here as well. The hostility he's being shown is enough to break a man."

"He brought that on himself Manuia. He needs to learn that actions have repercussions."

"I'm not disputing that. But won't you look at things from his viewpoint as well? You saw his history. He didn't have the nicest childhood. Poverty is all he's known. All his life, it was only natural that he'd follow in his mom's footsteps, don't you think?"

Roman scoffs at his bodyguard as Manuia continues the drive to their hotel. "You had a worse childhood than him Manuia. I know that it makes you uncomfortable discussing your past but I must bring it up. You grew up an orphan in the streets. Living your life constantly having to look over your shoulder. How many men have…" he clears his throat, his voice going softer as he continues. "How many man have taken your body against your will. How old were you when they began doing so?"

The car grows silent but there's so many emotions suffocating the pair inside the spacy car. Sadness. Anger. Fear. Gratitude. "I am sorry for bringing it up." The Prince mutters apologetically. He sighs and focuses on the dark streets when the other man nods his head and turns the radio on, effectively cutting their conversation.

He didn't mean to upset the other man. He knew how sensitive the other man could be when discussing his past. Manuia had grown up in the streets after his parents died at age ten. His parents, who were poor, raised him in the slums where they lived a 'each man for himself' kind of life.

Roman remembers the older man telling him how he'd waited for his parents to come home one night, all alone in their tiny shack as a ten year old boy. For a long time, he'd thought his parents had abandoned him. That's what the kids at the slums would say in the three months he'd lived there following their disappearance. He'd only found out two years ago that they'd been caught in a crossfire between two gangs in the most dangerous place in Lanuola.

It hadn't even been a week after his parents' disappearance that Manuia had been raped by a well-known thug in the neighborhood. It had hurt—his tiny hole being ripped apart by a grown man who knew right from wrong.

The rape continued and soon he'd be used by anyone in their neighborhood who felt they had a right to possess his body. Grown men who'd sometimes penetrate and use him at the same time. No one in the slums helped, they'd all turn a blind eye. It wasn't their children being raped after all.

Manuia escaped after three months and lived on the streets. He learned how to toughen up and be a man. He wasn't proud for how he stole money for a brief period of time to make sure he survived. But he'd been wise with the money and started a small business at the market place.

At eighteen he'd met a sixteen year old Roman who'd ran away from the Palace because of his own problems. The two quickly became friends and when Roman had made the decision to move to America after university his parents had allowed him to take Manuia with him, who they'd noted, was a good influence in their son's life.

"Your Highness?"

Roman looks at Manuia who's stood outside the hotel's VIP parking and looking at him. The Lanuolan gets out of the car and Manuia closes the door after him, locking the car. The big man walks with Roman inside the hotel through a separate entrance reserved only for the Prince. They're met at the glass doors by the hosts who they both greet with a smile before striding towards the elevator. They enter the elevator leading to the Executive and Presidential suites.

"Have you informed Her Majesty of the latest news?" Manuis asks when the lift doors slide shut closed.

Roman looks at him and shakes his head. "No. I'm sure she's seen what the papers are saying online. She's probably waiting for me to call and her tell her everything. I'll call her once we get home tomorrow."

His phone dings with a message from Jimmy and his anger picks up again as he scans the text, "Jimmy's found the perpetrators behind the leaked pictures."

"Oh?" Manuia asks just as the elevator dings on his floor.

"Have Bobby cancel the morning departure time. I'll need to handle this before we go to Miami."

"Of course." Manuia steps out of the lift and gives the royal a toothy grin, mischief glinting in coffee eyes. "Your Highness." He bows dramatically.

"Don't do that." Roman laughs. "You look ridiculous."

He smiles one final time at the man he considers his brother as he disappears from view with the lift's doors close. The royal steps out of the elevator when it reaches the Presidential suite. He walks towards the living room, eyes on his phone, as he sends a response to Jimmy, thanking the other man for his efficiency.

The drive back to the hotel took an hour and he'd spent about half an hour at that _useless_ brunet's house. Roman couldn't deny that the man was beautiful, absolutely gorgeous but the man was also a _minx._ Seth Rollins was a good for nothing attention-seeking whore who could've ruined him had he not been an extremely powerful man.

For someone who's only been on earth for twenty six years, Roman had accomplished a lot. Besides running the royal family's businesses under 'Reigns Wealth and Investments', the Prince also ran his own companies. His fortune derives from his investments in the hospitality and mining industry. He owns one of the largest privately-held oil trading company with an associate from Nigeria. He also owns one of the largest banks in Lanuola and invests a tenth of every earning he makes towards small and medium enterprises.

Roman was easily the hardest working person in the A'noai royal clan. In fact he is the most hardworking in his family, besides the King. It's how he'd managed to reach a net worth nearing $1 billion at such a young age. His mother, the Queen, always complained about him overworking himself whenever the two spoke over the phone.

And that's the reason Roman had seen red when he'd finally met the man who'd had a hand in almost tearing down everything he'd worked hard for. Roman sighs and heads into the bedroom. He removes his clothes and neatly folds them before stacking the items in his duffle bag that solely reserved for his dirty clothes. He puts the bag in it's original place and enters the en suite bathroom for a late night shower.

The shower door closes behind him and the hot water pelts his tense muscles. Roman doesn't ever remember being as tired as he felt. Then again, so many things had happened today that his body was bound to feel burnt out. He'd come back from Lanuola early that morning after spending four days there doing his royal duties. And then instead of going to Miami, he'd had to change his course of direction to Tampa.

And he couldn't even leave for Miami in the morning like he'd planned because he couldn't leave until he dealt with the culprits behind the leaked pictures. Roman steps out of the shower after he rinses the suds off his body and goes back into the bedroom. He pulls on a pair of black Ralph Lauren boxer briefs. He gets beneath the white covers and lays on his back, he slips his arms under his head and stares at the white ceiling.

His always active mind drifts from one thought to the other but it always returns to Seth Rollins. The mess the other man had created. His whole body would shake with anger every time he thought about how the other man's scandals could've destroyed him. Sleep comes with difficulty, as is the usual case with him. His eyes close and he's met with delicate blue eyes and a soft smile. "Tyler." He whispers.

* * *

 

"Mr. Lesnar, a pleasure." Roman says, gripping the blond man's big hand in a firm handshake.

Brock smiles at him, gesturing with his hand for the other man to sit down. Roman complies and takes a seat across the table. He notices how the other man's gaze keeps on shifting to Manuia who's stood at the front door. "He's my bodyguard. If he makes you uncomfortable, he can wait outside your office?"

The blond shakes his head no, a fake smile on his lips. "It's fine. How about we get into business, instead?"

"Of course." Roman's voice is emotionless, his expression blank. "How is your husband, Mr. Lesnar?"

"What does this have to do with my husband? I thought that this was a meeting about you looking to invest in my business." Brock says.

"Did you hear that Manuia?" Roman scoffs, eyes going to his bodyguard. The other man merely shrugs and Roman's attention goes back to a puzzled looking Brock. "Do you know who I am?"

"Who doesn't? Your boyfriend's all over the tabloids."

"Aha!" Roman says. "My _boyfriend._ My boyfriend who turned you down when you demanded he have sex with you. My _boyfriend_ who you set up with your fat lackey because you couldn't handle your pride being bruised by a prostitute. Tell me Mr. Lesnar does your sugar daddy know what you spend the money he gives you to invest towards this mediocre petrol station on? Does he know that you fuck both him and that fat fuck he calls his friend?"

Brock turns as white as a sheet and he looks like a fish out of water gaping for air. "Your ancestors must've been unkind that they made you ugly on top of being dumb. Why would you think I'd want to invest in your business after your attempts at ruining my image because a man turned you down for _sex._ Your quest for revenge was completely unjustified."

"I had to do something. That little bitch humiliated me. I was dragged out of that club like a goddamn criminal. I was treated like rubbish and thrown out like one. I had to do something!" Brock snaps, his blue eyes turning cold.

Roman isn't perturbed by the icy glare thrown his way and takes out his phone instead. "Thank you, Mr. Lesnar. I've got the proof I needed." The other man frowns in confusion and Roman decides to gift him with some sort of expression. He smirks at Brock and turns his phone so the other man can see what he was doing. "Exactly. I wonder how your dearest Paul will react once he finds out that he's been sleeping with a snake. I for one hate cheaters, they're betrayers who'd give your head to the devil the moment he'd offer something better. I'm sure Paul will feel the same."

"Manuia. Please contact Paul Heyman's assistant, give him a false name and schedule a meeting to discuss possible business with him."

"Wait!" Brock speaks up going to the other side of the desk towards Roman. For an arrogant man, the big blond man shakes in nerves and terror. "Let's work this out. Paul…" his voice shakes as he utters his husband's name. "Paul doesn't need to know please. Let's work this out."

Roman stands up so that they're eye to eye. "I want you to fix this. I don't care his you do it but I want to wake up tomorrow morning to the news of the mess you created cleared up. That's all I'm giving you. Twenty-four hours. Should I wake up and find my image still being tainted by something that _you_ started, I will end you." Roman's voice is cold as he stares Brock down. "I will ruin you so badly that even a beggar begging for breadcrumbs in the streets will have it far more better than you."

The Prince steps back, a bright smile on his luscious lips. "It was a pleasure doing business. Good day Mr. Lesnar."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts on Seth? Roman? Anyone else? Thank you for reading :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys KILLED Roman, lmao. But he deserved it for being so ignorant. I'm supposed to be doing homework but I figured I'd post this real quick. Thank you for reading :). Oh and I noticed I made a mistake about their ages in the previous chapter, I fixed it. Manuia is two years older than Roman. If you didn't notice it then pretend this convo never happened. Thank you!

_He watches the love of his life's back walk away from him and he picks up the pace. But no matter how fast he runs to catch up to him, it's never enough. How? He questions because they're hardly four meters away from each other and the love of his life keeps the same steady pace he had when he began walking away from him. His legs burn from all the running he's doing, his whole body dripping in sweat as the scorching sun fries his already overheated skin._

" _Come back," he shouts, the tears blurring his vision. "Don't leave me. You…you – I can't live without you."_

_The love of his life doesn't respond and nor does he stop. He keeps walking deeper into the beautiful forest and he knows where the other boy is going. Their place. But he's never able to reach there—his feet never allow him to hike up the forest leading to their place. It doesn't stop him from trying though even as the panic sets in when the distance between him and the love of his life finally grows—the other boy trekking his way deeper into the forest._

" _Take me with you. Please take me with you." He begs._

_The love of his life finally turns to look at him. Cloudy wet eyes meet his own and his heart clenches painfully. He already knows what the other boy is going to say and he shakes his head stubbornly. "Don't say it! Tyler, don't you dare fucking…"_

" _I can't," Tyler whispers heartbrokenly._

" _You promised me us. You promised me forever. Fuck you!" he shouts when Tyler suddenly disappears from him. He falls on dirty ground and cries his heart out. Tyler broke his promise. He left him again._

Roman breathes in deep as he startles awake. He sits up on the bed that suddenly feels too _large_ and too _empty_. His eyes dart around the Presidential suite and even with the full moon shining through the windows, everything still feels too dark. Panic settles in as the darkness envelopes him. Breathe in. Breath out. In, out. In, out. It's not working.

His hands shake as he finally gets himself to switch the bedside lamp on. The orange light casts a soft glow in the room, and it calms the panic that had been rising in his throat. He falls back on the sweat-filled bed and stares at the ceiling. The dreams were back. But why now?

Roman notices his face is wet with sweat and probably tears as he rubs it tiredly. The clock reads 03:15 AM when he turns on his side. He definitely wouldn't be able to go back to sleep. His bare feet touch the ground as Roman walks to the en suite bathroom. He takes off his Ralph Lauren's and steps in the shower. Cold water pelts his skin and he braces his hands against the tiled walls. The cold water cools his heated skin and Roman doesn't know how long he spends in the shower, just…thinking.

About home. About the days spent there, watching the clear blue skies with _him._ How Tyler would wake him up early in the morning, rushing to go swim in the river, despite the water being cold in the morning. How the other boy's eyes would light up childishly at the new discoveries he'd make in the Lanuolan forests.

Roman sighs and grabs a towel to wipe his hair. He then wraps the white fluffy item around his waist and heads back into the bedroom. He uses his deodorant and moisturizes his body in imported Lanuolan coconut and exotic orchid moisturizer before pulling on a pair of grey Ralph Lauren boxer briefs. He then wears his Nike shorts and t-shirt. After sliding on his black socks, he puts on a pair of Nike trainers. He ties his damp raven hair into a messy bun and grabs the hotel key card.

Roman greets the hotel employee at the reception desk on his way to the hotel's gym. When he enters the gym it's empty like he expected as it's still early, probably around 04:15. His eyes narrow in on the leather punching bag menacingly as he makes his way to it.

Holding nothing back, the raven-haired man throws a combination of hooks, hard jabs and uppercuts at the large punching bag. He releases all his emotions onto the punching bag, wounded growls emitting with every punch and every jab he throws.

Sadness. Anger. Betrayal. Blame. Longing. The myriad of emotions assault him and he takes them all out on the black punching bag. Roman doesn't know how long he spends throwing hit after hit at the punching bag until he finally collapses on the floor. "FUCK!" the royal screams as he grips his hair.

"Your Highness?" Manuia steps forward and crouches in front of the younger man when he gets no response. "Roman," he tries again softly.

Roman looks up at him and wobbles out sadly, "He left me Manuia. He knew that I loved him and he still left."

"You know that he didn't do it on purpose, right? He just…I'm sorry." Manuia responds, rubbing the other man's back.

Roman's cries quieten down when the gym starts showing the first signs of life. "I…I need to get ready for today's flight." He accepts Manuia's offered hand and gets off the cold ground. "What time is it?"

"A little over 06:00."

"How did you know how to find me?"

Manuia looks at him weirdly. "I've known you for ten years, Your Highness. I know when you're having bad days, just like you know when I'm having them too."

They enter the elevator leading to their suites. "Did Brock keep to his word? What are the papers saying?"

"Bray's spoken up…" Manuia states glancing at Roman. "He confirmed the legitimacy of the pictures…but he claims that the incident took place about a year ago. It works in our favor since before this whole prostitution scandal broke out, Seth Rollins was known to be a bartender. The very same media that's against him now were the ones who wrote about his job profession."

"But that still doesn't help fix my tarnished image. The vultures don't care that the man sold himself a year ago. You saw what the headlines were saying. All those articles about me tainting my country's pride by associating with prostitutes." Roman points out.

"Then speak to the media. Tell your side of the story." Manuia knows what Roman wants to say and he lifts his hand up to silence him. "I know you hate the media but it's the only way. They reach the masses. I'll call Tamina so that you discuss it with her."

"Thank you, brother." Roman smiles gratefully at Manuia who steps out of the elevator when it opens at his floor.

"I'll see you in an hour!" Manuia shouts before the lifts close.

Roman nods his head and the lift doors close. Once reaching his suite, the royal gets rid off his clothes and packs them in his duffle bag. He heads into the en suite bathroom for another cold shower. After taking care of his morning routine, the Lanuolan heads back to the now neatly done bedroom.

He puts a pair of boxer briefs and moisturizes his body. He puts on a pair of grey formfitting dress pants and a crisp white dress shirt. He slips on a pair of black socks and his leather shoes. He takes his Patek Phillippe Sky Moon Tourbillon watch from the drawer and fastens it on his wrist. The Prince then places a towel on his shoulders as he looks himself on the full body mirror in the room. He moisturizes his hair and ties the raven hair into a low bun.

He grabs all his items he'd used during his stay at the hotel and puts them in a grey bag. He puts the items in a bigger suitcase and folds the towel that was on his shoulders in half, going to place it in the en suite bathroom.

Roman grabs his phone and checks the time. A sigh leaves him and he wheels his suitcase outside the suite. Bobby said the private jet would be ready as eight so they have at least an hour before they leave.

His phone buzzes with a message from Manuai who tells him he's just left his suite. The lift stops a floor below his and Manuia steps in, wheeling in his suitcase. "Tamina will be ready for you as soon as we get to Miami. I'll drop you off at A'noai Investments and head home with the bags."

Manuia puts their bags in the car trunk before closing it and going to the driver's side while Roman gets in the backseat. The drive to the airport is a light one, Manuia doesn't bring up Roman's breakdown in the hotel's gym earlier that morning. It's happened enough times for him to know that Roman didn't like talking about it until he was ready to.

They engage in small talk and Roman teases him about his new relationship with Bobby. It took a lot of time for Manuai to get used to his feelings for men. But Bobby had been persistent and Manuia had finally admitted his feelings to the other man as well. Their relationship was still new, they've been dating for a little over six months.

When they finally arrive at the airport and meet Bobby at the tarmac, Roman watches silently as the two big men embrace. He scrunches his face in mock disgust when the two kiss heatedly before pulling apart. "Can we leave now?" he asks, a soft smile playing on his lips when the big bad Manuia blushes and nods his head.

* * *

 

"Cousin," Tamina smiles, getting up from her desk to greet Roman when he enters her office.

"Are you well, kasegi?" Roman grins, crushing Tamina Snuka in a hug.

The beautiful strong woman returns the hug just as hard. They pull back and settle on the couch in her office. "I'm good. Can't say the same for you though."

Roman rolls his at her. "Making fun of the hell I'm facing, are we?"

"I'm sorry." Tamina chuckles lightly, her bright white teeth clicking together. _This dumb dork,_ Roman thinks a fond smile on his lips. "Manuia said you're considering giving your side of the story. He briefly told me what happened, care to explain the whole story?" she asks when she finally calms down.

Roman nods and pours himself a glass of water. "Brace yourself, it's soap opera worthy." He takes a sip of his water and looks at his cousin, her brown eyes sparkle with curiosity and he decides to get her out of her misery and tells her everything.

"Wait…so you're saying the big blond sent his side dish to have sex with this Seth Rollins guy because he had denied him _sex?_ "

"Yeah, Jimmy searched around and found the info from a source at the club."

"Wow some men completely disgust me. So what? Because Seth Rollins is a prostitute, he isn't allowed to say no when he doesn't want to have sex?"

Roman shrugs and averts his gaze to the family pictures flooding Tamina's dusky office walls. He spots her favorite picture seated perfectly on her mahogany desk—it's his favorite too and he has the exact same one in his office. It was taken on Jimmy and Naomi's wedding day. The picture isn't taken like those perfect family pictures where everyone stands still and smiles as they wait for a click of the camera.

The picture shows his large family all fighting to appear in it, all of them have silly grins on their faces. That day was happiness. Happiness is home. It's family. Not what he has here, in America, with only a few of his family members living in the country. "So what do you think about Manuia's idea to speak to the press?" he asks, his gaze going back to his cousin.

"I think it's a good idea…" Tamina starts, eyeing his reaction. She knows how much Roman hates divulging his personal life for the media's amusement. "I've seen the papers too Roman. This scandal could tarnish your image if you don't grab the bull by the horns while it's still early. This Brock guy has helped out some even if you may not see it that way. With Bray telling the papers that the sex scandal involving him and Seth took place a year ago, we could capitalize on that."

Roman's just about to answer his cousin when her office door opens and in enters his other cousin. "J – Jizzy, in the house y'all!" Tamina and him look at the door as Jimmy stands just outside it—a Cheshire smile on his face. The pair look back to each other and their heads fall back on the couch. "Hey now. Don't act like y'all not excited to see your favorite cousin." Jimmy chuckles when they groan.

"My favorite cousin's Jey." Roman says, turning his head to the side and looking at Jimmy.

"Me and Jey are one person so that means I'm your favorite cousin too."

"What?" Roman shakes his head. "Is he serious?" he asks Tamina, incredulity etched on his features.

Tamina chuckles and goes to sit behind her desk as Jimmy takes her place on the couch. "Keep me out of it boys."

Roman sighs and decides to continue with his and Tamina's earlier conversation. "So when do you suggest we call the press conference?"

"Yes! About that." Jimmy again interrupts. "You…" the mocha skinned man points his finger at Roman accusingly.

Roman's hesitant as he asks, "What? What'd I do?"

"Manuia told me." Jimmy says looking between Tamina and Roman. "Did he tell you what he said to Seth Rollins?" Jimmy asks, looking at Tamina.

"No…" Tamina replies slowly, looking at a fidgety Roman curiously.

"With the way he's fidgeting, I can tell that Manuai was telling the truth." Jimmy says.

"Get to it Jimmy, what did he say?"

"So much." Jimmy sighs. "He judged the man for being a prostitute. Called him all sorts of names and threw a $100 at him. Manuia thinks he was way too hard on the man and I agree. Just wait until aunt Patricia hears about this."

Tamina gasps and looks at Roman. The raven-haired man falls back on the couch and focuses on the white ceiling. "And why the hell did he tell you?"

"Because someone needs to knock some damn sense in your head. Roman! This is not how we were raised. Does this have to do anything…"

"No!" Roman shouts interrupting Jimmy's lecture. "It has nothing to do with that. I wanted to know his intentions were. You're a Lanuolan, Jimmy. His actions created the mess that we're trying to resolve. You and Manuia are not thinking about how Seth Rollins' scandals affect me, the companies and our country. I was just told the man to work hard towards his dreams and not take the easy way out like he was doing!" Roman snaps.

"Uce, listen…"

"He's right." Tamina pipes in. Both of them look at her in shock and while Roman's grateful to have at least _one_ person on his side, Jimmy frowns at his cousin.

"Tamina are you trying to tell me that you condone how he treated the man? Even though we don't know him, he's still human, Tami, and has feelings. I know you're not agreeing with this fool!" Jimmy scoffs.

Tamina raises her hand in a calming gesture. She moves from her chair and goes to sit on the mahogany desk so that she's looking down on both men. "I'm not agreeing with how he handled things, J. That's not what I'm saying. And with as much as I don't agree with how Roman handled things because I _do_ think he could've handled things _so_ much better, I just think we shouldn't be hypocrites."

"Haven't you ever said something so bad during fits of anger that you found yourself regretting it afterwards? What about that time you and Naomi were not talking and she stayed in my house for a full week because both of you had said too many words to each other in anger. Like I said I don't agree with the way he handled things, but he was angry. He made the mistake of going to Seth's house in anger. And anger doesn't see reason. There's a reason your therapist suggested you walk away from an argument when you feel you're about to get angry. She said that because she knows that in anger we say and do things we don't mean…" She then eyes a grateful looking Roman. "Don't give me that look. You were still in the wrong Roman. Jimmy's right, we weren't raised like that."

"Is he even remorseful?" Jimmy says, eyeing his cousin.

"Roman?." Tamina eyes Roman who's reverted to not showing his emotions.

"What Jimmy and Manuia are failing to see is that Seth Rollins isn't the only one suffering a backlash from the public. Both of them have read the papers and I find it puzzling that they'd only defend Seth's honor while our country and I are being vilified." Roman takes out his smartphone and taps on it and throws the gadget at Jimmy. "Look at the negative attention I've been receiving J. Look at the slanders and stigmatization I'm facing for beingassociated with Seth Rollins."

"Seth Rollins, who is a prostitute. I'm sorry if you expected me to approach this whole thing the Disney way. This is not some fairytale, J. This is not a romance book where the peasant lives happily ever after with the Prince. This is real life and let's face it, whether you like it or not, prostitution is frowned upon in the world we live in. Why do you think it's illegal in America? Why do you think it's illegal in most countries? Why do you think both _myself_ and Seth Rollins are facing public shaming? Have you seen the comments the people are making? Have you gone to my social media accounts to see what the people are saying? So many people's lives have been tarnished in the past because of their association with prostitutes. I know nothing about this man and yet the media is saying and I quote "Prince Roman tarnishes country's pride by associating with prostitutes." Roman chuckles bitterly. "And let's not even get started on those comments I'm sure you're seeing J."

Tamina's heels click on the wooden floors as he goes to pat Roman's shoulder who looks on the verge of losing it. "And you know what's worse?" He continues. " _I_ have to fix this mess. I have to explain myself to millions of people. People I don't know. People who don't even care about me. I have to do that or risk my reputation being tainted. And me risking my reputation means I'd lose everything I've worked hard for. Many countries like America prohibit prostitution. Now enlighten me, which foreign business associate would want to associate with someone who's accused of being involved with prostitutes?"

"Which is why we're going to hold that press conference." Tamina says, her voice soft. "Seth Rollins needs to come to Miami. We cannot handle this without him here as well. He, like you, hasn't spoken up since this whole thing started."

That causes Jimmy to release a snort. "Good luck with that. After the way, my Prince here treated him, I don't think he wants to be anywhere near him."

Tamina looks at Jimmy and raises an eyebrow. "Oh trust me. He will come here." Roman and Jimmy look at her curiously. "You're going to go convince him," she points a manicured finger at Jimmy.

"Me? Why me? He doesn't even know me!"

"Because Roman's an idiot and he'd probably end up making the poor man angrier. You give off these crazy fun friend vibes that make people feel at ease. Roman's too uptight. You need to go J, tomorrow morning."

"This isn't fair." Jimmy sighs, rubbing his face in frustration. "Naomi will kill me."

"She'll understand. We have no other choice."

"Please, J." Roman, who's been quiet for a while finally says. "Do this for me, please."

"I'm not really doing it for you. I'm doing it for the other guy. Manuia told me how bad he looked."

Roman knows there's nothing he can say to change his cousin's mind about where he was coming from and so sighs and issues no other words besides a small, "Thank you."

"Good. It's settled then." Tamina says, going back to sit on the edge of the desk. "So you leave tomorrow. The private jet will be ready. You'll need to see him tomorrow J. Do the best you can to convince him to come back with you to Miami. I'll call for the press conference to take place three days from today. When he gets here we'll need to strategize how we'll handle the media and their questions."

* * *

 

"Hey…"

Seth turns his attention from his locker and looks at the deadlocked man who's standing outside the door. "You scared me." He chuckles and shoves his bag inside his locker. "You need anything?"

"Hunter wants to see you." Seth's heart rate spikes up at that. Could Kofi have told the other man about their fight three days ago? Seth quickly dismisses the thought. He'd apologized to the other man the yesterday when he came to back to work. Kofi had even thanked him for Seth's words that day in the toilets. They'd spurred him on to talk about his unhappiness with Hunter.

The pair had worked it out and Hunter had agreed to trying out a monogamous relationship with the African man because he did feel something for Kofi. And besides, Kofi had assures him that he hadn't mentioned Seth's name when talking to Hunter.

"What about?"

Kofi shrugs lightly. "I'm not quite sure. There was man with him when I entered. You'll find out when you get there."

"Okay…" Seth replies reluctantly. He follows Kofi outside the locker rooms and lets Kofi go to the first level his shift while he makes his way to Hunter's office. He knocks twice on the black door before he hears Hunter's, "Come in!"

Seth enters the elegant room and Hunter's attention goes to him. His own eyes travel to the man with mocha skin and curly raven hair inside the office with Hunter. He can't help but think that the man looks like that son of a bitch Prince he met two days. _Don't think about him_ , he reminds himself.

Because after he'd gathered himself the following day after he'd met the fucking arrogant royal, he'd made a resolution. Too many times this week, he'd cried over things he has no control over. He'd taken a look at himself, his achievements and how far he'd come.

Sure he'd made a mistake and slipped up with the whole Bray scandal, and for some reason the chubby bastard had told the papers that the whole thing happened a year ago. He hadn't read the papers, another of his resolutions was to stay away from anything that caused him heartache and affected him negatively so he'd been surprised when Dean and Xavier had come to him with the news yesterday.

Dean and Xavier had suspected that the Lanuolan royal had had something to do with Bray's confession but Seth had dismissed their suspicions with a wave of the hand. He didn't think the asshole actually had a heart. He'd shown that when he'd visited him the night before.

The pair had been horrified when he'd told them about the Prince's behavior the day before but it was also their words that has encouraged Seth and spurred him on to focus on the positive. All the struggles he'd gone through and was still going through had and were still shaping him into becoming the strong man he was today.

"You wanted to see me?" Seth asks, giving Hunter a curious glance.

Hunter nods his head and motions for Seth to step forward. Seth complies and takes a seat next to the mocha skinned man. "Hello." He says to the man.

The man smiles at him and Seth can't help but return it, the man's smile is infectious. He looks like a fun person to be with despite the expensive suit he's wearing which normally makes man like him look stiff and uptight. "Hey man."

Hunter clears his throat and they both give him their full attention. "Now Seth. I called you here because I spoke to Jimmy here. He's from Miami and would like to talk to you."

Seth's curiosity is peaked and he eyes Jimmy. "You're not a reporter, are you?"

"No." Jimmy chuckles. "I'm not…but I would like to have a word Seth."

"What about?"

Hunter stands up and says, "I'll leave you two to get to it. Mr. Fatu, it was a pleasure." He shakes Jimmy's hand.

Hunter then leaves his office and the door closes with a soft click. This man must really be important if it means Hunter's leaving his office for him. He _never_ does that. _For anyone._

"So…" Seth starts, tugging on his spandex tights.

"Yes. I'm Jimmy as you already know. I…came here on behalf of my foolish cousin."

"Oh?" Seth asks, not knowing who this cousin Jimmy's talking about is.

"Yes. You see my cousin came to your house two days ago and well I'm not proud of how the idiot treated you."

Seth already knows who Jimmy is talking about and sighs deeply looking the other man in the eyes. Jimmy seems sincere and genuinely looks like a nice guy. "Okay. But what's supposed to happen? If you're here to apologize on his behalf then save it. The son of a bitch doesn't understand empathy. He was harsh and looked down on me. On my situation. He judged me despite knowing my past. Instead of understanding why'd I done what you…what you read in the papers. He ridiculed me and told me that prostitution ran in my family."

"He said that?" Jimmy whispers horrified. Manuai hadn't told him everything but he'd briefed him about what had taken place between Seth and Roman.

"Yes!" Seth shouts, the tears threatening to leave his eyes. Godammit, the bastard had such a hold on him. Even when he'd promised himself to look past the royal's words, he couldn't because they'd hurt. That son of a bitch had hit him where it hurt the most. He still struggled with insecurities of being like his mother. How he'd turned out to be like her.

He stands up and snatches a glass from Hunter's small oak table on the other side of the room, pouring himself Hunter's expensive whiskey from the cabinet. The drink burns his throat and he's about to pour himself another when Jimmy stops him. "Hunter mentioned that your shift's just begun. Be wise Seth, you can't drink at work."

Seth's hands shake in anger as he allows Jimmy to take the bottle of whiskey from him. "Your cousin…" his voice wavers as all the hurt from two days ago comes trickling in bit by bit. "No one's ever hurt me the way your cousin did when he came to my house to insult me two days ago. No one's ever made me feel as worthless as he did when he threw that money at me. I – I hate him."

"I could never say anything to you that would justify why he treated you that badly. But what I can say is that you need to try Seth. Try to move past the hurt he caused you. Because whether we like or not, people will always have things to say about us. You cannot stop someone from judging you. If they want to judge you, they will. Just like you can't stop someone from saying something you don't like or something that offends you. What you can control is how you let it affect you. What I'm trying to say is Roman doesn't matter. No one gives him the power to hurt you besides you."

"You make it sound so simple. And I know you're right but it's still hard. It's hard when someone targets your insecurities, even if he may've done it unknowingly… I don't know if he did…or maybe he just got a kick out of hurting me. I don't know." Seth shrugs tiredly and continues softly "It's still gonna take me some time to get over. Your cousin hurt me…" Seth sighs. "I was at my lowest point and he hurt me…"

"I understand. We're humans after all and we have feelings. You need your time to heal from the wounds he inflicted in your heart."

Seth gives him a small smile. "Exactly." He whispers.

"I also came to discuss something else with you."

"I'm listening"

"Have you been keeping up with online news sites or social media?"

Seth shakes his head no. "I've been trying to distance myself from that negativity."

"Well I'm sure you know how the media is. This isn't going to go away until it's dealt with."

"Okay…" Seth has a gut feeling he isn't going to like what the other man is going to say.

"Yeah…I'm going to need you to come to Miami with me. I don't know if you know the latest development with Bray."

Seth nods his head.

"What we want to do is capitalize on what he said. We'll hold a press conference and address the media and tell our side of the story. You'll get to tell your side as well. There's so many people judging you and it's only fair that you're given a chance to defend yourself, don't you think?

"I'm not stupid Jimmy. You're doing this more to save your asses than you're doing to defend mine."

Jimmy grins sheepishly and nods his head. "That is true but you're not just doing it for us. You're helping so many other people who work for A'noai Investments and RWI. As much as I hate to tell you this Seth and I don't wish to upset you because it wasn't your fault but you know how the world sees prostitutes. And with the way prostitutes are viewed, Roman's reputation could be stained beyond repair if we remain quiet. Roman represents both A'noai Investment and RWI. If his image is tarnished then the companies he represents face the same fate. And it won't help even if he resigns, we'd already have lost millions and millions of dollars because of it. And that would in turn mean job losses and retrenchments. This isn't just about him…please Seth."

Seth collapses on the maroon chair again. He couldn't do that to those people. Even if he didn't know any of them, he still knew what it was like to be out of a job and desperate for one. It's the reason he'd turned to prostitution after all. "I'll go…" he whispers looking at Jimmy's relieved face. "But I want my friends to come with me."

Confusion morphs on Jimmy's features. "Huh?"

"My friends…I want them there. I'm not going to a different city where there's people I don't know and where I'll be forced to see _him_ again without any moral support. I'm taking them with me."

"…how many friends are we taking about here?"

"Only two. Dean and Xavier."

Seth smiles gratefully when Jimmy nods his head, his expression still unsure. "Good, so you'll pay for the flight tickets and stuff right?"

"Tickets?" Jimmy scoffs, light heartedly. "Man, we're royalty. We fly like royalty. Call your friends, tell them to be ready by nine. We'll leave for Miami at eleven…royalty style." Jimmy says smirking at Seth.

"Well okay then. Anything else you want from me? I've got to go try get some tips from those stingy customers."

That causes Jimmy to snort. "That's what y'all bartenders say about customers huh?"

"Only when it's true." Seth replies cheekily.

Jimmy laughs at that. "Alright. Stand up for me."

"What?"

Jimmy sighs and goes to Seth. "I said stand up."

"But why?" Seth asks, obeying Jimmy's request.

"Because I want to do this…" Jimmy says, pulling in Seth for a hug.

Seth's caught off guard and his hands hang limply at his sides for a few seconds, only going around the other man's waist when Jimmy chuckles and says, "You know when a person hugs you, they expect you to return it. Otherwise it just makes the whole thing awkward."

Warmth rushes to Seth's cheeks and he laughs despite himself. "Why couldn't you have been the Prince instead? No offense but your cousin's a jackass I'm not looking forward to meeting again."

Jimmy pulls away from him but not before whispering lightly in Seth's ear, "Between me and you, I think he's one too. Maybe you should tell him that when you meet again."

"If he provokes me. That fucking ass."

Jimmy's eyes remain on Seth as the brunet complains about Roman. He realizes that the other man isn't even addressing him anymore but rather speaking to himself and calling Roman every derogatory word he can think of. Jimmy stifles his chuckles—why did he feel like there was something…more to the other man's words? Seth looked genuinely angered by just the mere mention of Roman's name. But in the man's complaints and talks off how Roman was an arrogant piece of shit (Seth's words, not his)—Jimmy could hear everything that Seth _wasn't_ saying.

This would be one hell of an interesting week for sure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the continued support and sharing your thoughts. This is mostly a filler cause writing the whole thing turned out to be too long. Thank you!

"This shit's good! Daddy. Ant…" a giggle and then a hiccup. "I m-mean Toni doesn't like it when I drink."

"I wonder why," Seth mumbles under his breath. He snatches the champagne glass from Dean and gives it to Jimmy.

"We've been on air for like ten minutes and the alcohol's already going to his brain." Xavier grins softly. He takes a bite of his Mushroom and Gruyere bruschetta and covers his mouth with his hand. "And I'll have to deal with a drunk Dean alone while you go to wherever you're going," the complaint has no real heat to it. The dark skinned man then grabs the champagne flute and takes a sip of his drink before giving Seth a soft smile.

Seth eyes the movement and he returns Xavier's smile. It was easy to see why Randy fell in love with this man. Xavier had this delicacy about him that never left him. The man couldn't even talk about sex without turning bright red and being a sputtering mess. "What is it? Is it something on my face?" Xavier asks, when Seth's eye remains on him.

"It's just…Randy better do you right."

"Seth's o-older than Prince Roman!"

All eyes go to Dean as he says that. Silence envelopes the private jet for a full minute. It's Xavier who recovers first as raises his thick eyebrows at his friend—Dean says the most random things when he's drunk. "Oh?"

"Google, you guys!" the man giggles as if he finds something funny. "You're a cougar Seth. Roar!" Dean giggles falling back on the leather seat in the jet.

"Your friend is something else," Jimmy chuckles lowly, shaking his head.

"A fool is what he is." Seth responds with a small frown. "He's younger than me…no wonder he behaved like such a boy. How old is he? I didn't have time to google him like Deano boy did here."

Xavier's drink goes flying out his mouth. "Rude," he mutters, a small smile on his lips and accepts a napkin from Jimmy.

"Ouch! Don't let him hear you say that." Jimmy fake winces before laughing a little. "He's twenty six, he'll be turning twenty seven in May."

"Hey you're turning thirty in May too." Dean pipes in. "This is meant to be!" he slurs as his head falls on Seth's shoulder and his drool covers Seth's black t-shirt.

"Dean. Please…sleep."

"Three years older, huh?" Jimmy asks.

"I guess." Seth replies, looking out the window. Jimmy said they'd have to travel for another hour and thirty minutes to get to Roman's house. Then Dean and Xavier would remain behind while he went to A'noai Investments with Jimmy to meet Roman and their other cousin Tamina. Seth was thankful that he wouldn't have to meet the gorgeous son of a bitch alone cause Lord knows that would just be disastrous.

Seth sighs and rests his head on the comfy leather seat. The airplane ride wasn't going to be a long one, about thirty minutes. His eyes close and he distantly hears Jimmy and Xavier's light voices talking about any and everything.

* * *

 

"Wait is this his h-house?" Xavier gasps, looking out the window.

"It's not just any house…it's a mansion." Seth replies awed, his own eyes widening. Jimmy stops at the large iron gates and punches the password before driving the car through the dramatic driveway that's surrounded by large green trees. The mansion has two guest houses on the east and west wing. Jimmy tells them the east wing belongs to Manuia and his boyfriend. The main compound is huge—Seth can't even begin to count the number of windows he sees. The front balcony overlooks the large forest trees and an elegant fountain.

Jimmy parks the car and they climb out. A woman who looks to be in her forties meets them in the driveway and greets them in a language they don't understand. "It means hello in Samoan."

"I thought you guys were Lanuolan," Seth grunts as a drunk Dean lays his full bodyweight against him.

"Your ignorance wounds me." Jimmy rests his hand on his chest in mock hurt. "We're Samoan descendants. We live in an entirely different country but we still speak Samoan, it's diluted though."

"I'm sorry. But hey, at least I know now right?"

"Yeah…" Jimmy goes to the back of the car and opens the trunk. "I'll carry your bags Seth. You just focus on getting your friend inside. Xavier here, will assist me."

Xavier complies and grabs their bags all the while declining an offer from the Lanuolan woman who makes a grab for one of the bags to assist him. "Wow. Maybe you should marry him after all," Xavier teases when they enter the house. "How many rooms are in this place? It looks like some elegant hotel."

"Seven bedrooms, two master suites and recreational rooms, indoor gym and a whole other things I'm too lazy to mention." Jimmy chuckles, leading them up the stairs.

"Pick any room you want. Except that one..." Jimmy points at a huge black door on the right. "That's Roman's room."

The men choose three bedrooms further down the hallway. And Seth maneuvers Dean's dead weight into the bedroom they chose for him. "Take care of the idiot." Seth says, looking at Xavier. "I have to leave with Jimmy soon. But I think I'm going to freshen up first though. Dean's been panting and drooling all over me."

"Alright. He'll probably be asleep for a few hours. I'm going to speak to Masina. I want a tour of this house and then I want to see what happens in the recreational rooms."

"You already know her name. You don't waste time."

"We're practically friends now. I can't help it that people love me." Xavier bats his thick eyelashes as he enters his room.

Seth's just finished cleaning himself up again when someone knocks at his door and it opens. "Ready to go?"

Seth ties his hair into a low bun and nods his head at Jimmy. He sprays a bit of cologne on his body and exits the room with Jimmy. "We're only meeting your two people right?"

"Yup. Roman and Tamina." Jimmy responds as he puts the car into gear.

"And this press conference is tomorrow?"

"Yeah. Tamina's a strategist. She'll help both y'all turn this mess around."

"That's good."

Their conversation ends there as Jimmy turns the radio on. It's a hip hop station, playing a song he thinks is by Drake. Jimmy's all hyped up and rapping along the song and Seth can't help but smile at him.

They enter an elegant office with dusky colored walls and a mocha skinned woman looks up at them. A radiant smile forms on her lips as she stands up and meets Jimmy halfway for a warm hug. Seth can feel the love radiating off of them in waves. Family. Something he never got to have.

"Seth Rollins," the woman's voice is deeper than he expected. She walks towards him—her head held high and with a confidence that he can't help but envy.

"Hi." He says foolishly, not really knowing what to say.

The woman envelopes him in a hug as well and he gladly returns it. "We're a family of huggers Seth. I'm Tamina."

"Nice to meet you."

Tamina nods her head and grabs his hand, guiding him towards a leather couch. "Do you need anything to drink?"

"Water's fine."

Tamina looks to Jimmy who rolls his eyes but goes to take out a bottle of water from the mini fridge and a glass in the cabinet. He places the items on the glass table in front of Seth. "Thank you."

"It's all good."

Seth pours himself a glass of water and takes a sip. The water cools his throat and helps tame the butterflies swimming in his stomach. Roman isn't here. He'd come to this tall ass building having mentally prepared himself to see the other man. But he wasn't here. He unconsciously looks around Tamina's office. Her office is littered with family pictures and a few items that make it look homey. His eyes settle on a picture of her and Roman and his heart jumps in his chest. The son of a bitch is all smiles in the picture, his eyes crinkling at the corners. It's a beautiful smile—one that has the ability to deceive the stars into leaving the skies for him. "He'll be here in minute…or two. He had a meeting with an associate from Nigeria."

"Huh?" Seth reverts his gaze to Tamina and blushes in embarrassment as he realizes that she'd caught him staring at the picture with Roman. "I – I don't care," he stutters.

"I know."

Seth's got a feeling that Tamina doesn't really believe him but he shrugs her off. Because he _doesn't_ care. Even if the guy did look like an exotic Adonis with his almond shaped eyes, and that beautiful beard and his luscious thick pink lips. Just because the man is an arrogant shithead didn't mean that Seth couldn't appreciate beauty when he saw it. "Tami, I'm sorry I'm late. The meeting with Mr. Njoku ran longer than I thought." The butterflies start again when Seth hears _that_ voice. They seem to mock him as they swim around in his stomach with such a vengeance that he clutches his stomach and closes his eyes, trying to steady the erratic beating of his heart.

Tamina's stilettos click on the floors as her weight leaves the couch. "No problem. What did he say?"

"It went well. He's a great businessman and an even greater man."

"I'm glad." She nods her head towards Seth who's looking away from them and hasn't turned his head towards them since Roman entered. "He's here. I want you to behave Roman. I don't want you to let your emotions control you."

Roman scoffs and goes to give Jimmy a quick hug before coming face to face with Seth. "Seth Rollins." He says, causing Seth to open his eyes and release a low breath. He looks at Roman's offered hand—it's so big and looks so soft. His eyes go to Roman's who's looking at him with an expectant look and a raised eyebrow. Seth's eyes go back to the offered hand. He snorts and folds his arms, turning his attention to the stunning view from Tamina's office.

He knows he's being petty but he can't help it. This man standing in front of him now, _offering_ his hand to him, is the same man that came to his house a couple of days ago. He's the same man who insulted him in his _own_ house. He's the same man who made him feel worthless. He's the same man who kicked him down when he was at his lowest. So excuse him if he doesn't want to _touch_ the jackass's hand.

"Suit yourself." He hears Roman say as the other man takes a seat next to him. Roman's scent invades him once again and he has to mentally lecture himself to not breathe the other man's scent in deeply. Does this man _always_ smell this good?

"Jackass." Seth mumbles under his breath, scooting away from Roman.

"I'm gonna head home. I've missed my wife and child, it's been two _miserable days."_ Jimmy says. He tells Seth goodbye and tells the brunet he gives him permission to cuss Roman all he wants causing Roman to scoff. Jimmy's laughing all the way out as he leaves Tamina's office.

Tamina sits on the edge of her desk and looks at the two men seated on the couch. They're sat so far away from each other as if the slightest contact with each other will give them both some life threatening disease. Tamina sighs and shakes her head at their childishness. "Now that you're both here…" Tamina starts folding her arms across her chest. "Let's get started shall we?"

Roman crosses his legs and remains quiet while Seth clears his throat and begins softly. "Bray was behind the leaking. I had nothing to do with it."

"We know." Roman cuts in. "Someone had to do something about the mess you helped create."

"It _wasn't_ my fault." Seth snaps back. "I'm not a fucking psychic, how the hell was I supposed to know I was being recorded?"

"If you hadn't accepted the proposal then there wouldn't have been a reason for you to worry about being recorded," Roman replies.

"I _needed_ the money. Since I got associated with your crusty ass, I haven't been making money at the club. If it's anyone's fault, it's yours for not telling the damn papers that we aren't involved sooner."

"Oh, so I had to leave home and everything else I was doing to come back to _speak_ to the media because you couldn't tell them the truth," Roman glares at Seth.

Seth glares right back. "I tried telling that woman the first day you jerk!"

"And what, she—"

"My god, enough!" Tamina cuts in. "You guys blaming each other won't make this scandal go away. If anything you're just waiting time, instead of coming up with ways to handle the press."

Roman tilts his head to the side and looks at his cousin before shrugging.

"I'm listening." Seth sighs, his attention going to Tamina.

"Roman?"

"I'm listening," Roman echoes.

"Good," Tamina says, going behind her desk to retrieve two files. "This is how we're going to approach the matter." She says giving both men the files.

* * *

 

Smooth RnB music plays in the tension filled car on their way home. Manuia tries his best to lighten the mood, he hums along Johnny Gill's 'My' and teases Roman here and there. The royal returns his bodyguard's smart remarks with a few of his own but not with the snarky enthusiasm he usually returns them with. When the big man includes Seth in the banter and asks him for backup, the brunet responds but keeps it to one or two sentences.

Manuia eventually quietens down. What's the point of continuing when his two other occupants are clearly not interested in any light conversation? He looks at the two from the rearview mirror, and shakes his head. What they were both failing to realize was that they were the ones suffocating the mood with their antics. The amount of effort they were putting into ignoring each other was just ridiculous.

He punches the password at the iron gates and waits for the gates to open before entering the driveway. He parks just outside the mansion's doors and allows Roman and Seth to exit the car. "Will you need anything else, Your Highness?" he asks.

"I know you have a date night with Bobby, Manuia."

Manuia nods his head, blushing a bit. "See you in the morning."

Seth watches the interaction between the two silently. They look like they have such a special bond, in fact from all he's seen so far, Roman seems like a man who's very family orientated. He'd seen Roman's kindness with his employees, the bigger man even greeting the cleaners cleaning the building. So why was he so unkind to him? Sure he'd played a part in the prostitution scandal but couldn't the royal understand that he hadn't intended for his name to be dragged under the mud? Couldn't he understand where Seth was coming from?

"Let's go." Seth follows silently behind Roman. "Masina's probably began on dinner. You should go tell your friends to get ready." Roman tells him when they enter the house. The other man turns a corner to the right and opens a black colored door with a golden ribbon on it as Seth takes the stairs.

Seth decides to knock on Dean's door first to check if the other man is awake yet. "Dean?" he peeks into the large room and spots Dean lying on the bed with his head on Xavier's lap as the dark skinned man treads his fingers through his hair. Seth steps inside and closes the door behind him.

"How'd it go?"

"Fine." Seth collapses on the bed and rests his head on Xavier's shoulders.

"You guys are both bigger than me. You're heavy. Get off Seth," Xavier complains tilting his body away from Seth.

"Not fair. How are you allowing Dean to rest his big head on top of you?"

Dean, who hasn't said anything since Seth entered finally says something. "Because I'm sick. I feel like vomiting."

"Serves you right," Seth chuckles. "Anyway I came to tell you that the royal bastard says dinner should be ready in a few. Freshen up."

He gets up the bed and is almost out of Dean's room when Dean speaks up again. "Is he joining us for dinner?"

"I don't know." Seth shrugs looking back at them. He closes the door and heads to his own room for a quick shower. After showering, Seth puts on deodorant and lotions his body. He puts on his underwear and a pair of grey shorts and a black t-shirt. He slides on his flip-flops. He runs his hand through his brown mane and decides not to tie the curly mane into the low bun he wanted to do. Seth leaves his room and goes to knock on Dean's door and realizes that they've already headed down for dinner, if the lively chatter he hears sounding from the first floor say anything.

He takes the stairs and follows the noise until he reaches the kitchen. Dean's sat on top of the counter, his cheeks ridiculously full. "You look like a chipmunk." He tells his friend.

Dean doesn't even wait to swallow his food as he responds, "That means I'm adorable then."

"Oh, Dean," Xavier chuckles, taking the plates from Masina. "Help me out Seth."

Seth complies and helps take the cutlery to the dining room. Roman's already seated at the table when he enters the dining room. Xavier's got a goddamn smile on his lips as he talks to the other man. _This damn traitor_ , Seth thinks as he goes around placing the cutlery. He then leaves the two idiots to talk to themselves to find out if Masina needs any further assistance. The other woman shakes her head no and Seth heads back to the dining room together with Dean.

They find Xavier already seated next to Roman who's place is at the head of the table. Dean sits on the other side of Xavier and Seth takes a seat next to him. Masina dishes their food before going back to the kitchen. She comes back with a bottle of white whine and tells Roman something in Samoan. "She's going to check on the dessert." Roman explains. "So Dean, Xavier here told me you're studying Psychology."

Seth watches as his traitor of a friend lights up and goes onto to explain why he chose to study Psychology and why he'd decided to go back to school so late. "It's my final year. Seth and I attend the same college. Xavier's studying the arts. Mostly dancing and singing but he does acting too."

"You both seem to be doing so well for yourselves, " Roman's compliment is the sun. It lights up Seth's traitorous friends' faces as they eat out of the palm of the royal's hands.

Seth isn't surprised when the other man ignores his name being mentioned. In fact, he's beginning to think that Roman's good at pretending he doesn't exist. He doesn't care though, he'll gladly return the favor. He cuts into Dean and Roman's conversation. "Dean when is Antonio coming back from Switzerland again?"

Roman tilts his head to the side and raises an eyebrow. Seth's tells himself that he's not going to allow the other man to intimidate him though and mentally curses when his hand shakes as he picks up his wine glass. His ears barely hear what Dean is saying to him as he watches Roman smirk at him. The bastard must know what he's doing. He glares at him and pushes his pasta carbonara away. He really couldn't stomach anymore food. "I'll see you guys later." He says, getting up.

"It's only seven o'clock Seth, " Xavier points out.

"I know," Seth replies. "I'm just…tired. And I have an early morning tomorrow." He eyes Roman as he says that.

"Well goodnight then," says Dean.

Xavier nods his head. "Have a goodnight Seth."

Roman doesn't say anything (no surprises there) and only goes back to his meal.

When Seth gets to his room, he immediately makes his way to the bed and gets under the covers. He sighs into the fresh smelling pillows and hugs them close. The huge bed makes him feel like he's sleeping on clouds. It's so comfy and he's grateful that he isn't sleeping in that lumpy thing he calls his bed even if it's going to be just for two days. His mind drifts to the conversation they'd had with Tamina earlier in the day.

The woman looked wise and Seth really hoped her plan worked. Although Roman had been a jerk almost the entire meeting, he was grateful that these people had the power to make this mess go away. But more than that, he was happy that them cleaning this mess would help so many people retain their jobs. Seth feels his eyelids get heavy and finally gives in to his exhaustion—his breathing becoming even.

The next time he wakes up, everything's dark and quiet. Seth sits up and checks the time on the bedside clock, it's 02:55 in the morning. He curses because it's way too fucking early for him to be awake especially since he hasn't been working but his throat is parched and he needs to solve that. He swings his legs over the bed and his feet touch the cold tiles. He slides on his slippers and turns the bedside lamp on before exiting the large room. The door closes with a soft click behind him and Seth releases a whispered, "Fuck." The hallway's dark and he struggles to find his way to the stairs. He takes the steps one at a time and finally reaches the first floor. Now where's the kitchen again?

Seth takes a left in the hallway and cheers inwardly when he finds the kitchen. He opens the fancy built-in fridge and takes out a bottle of water. He pours the water in a glass and guzzles down the cold liquid before pouring another glass again. The glass pauses halfway to his lips as hears these…sounds. Thumps and grunts that are so loud he's surprised no one else's heard them in the house…or maybe their rooms are soundproof.

He places the glass on the counter and fights himself on what to do. To investigate weird sounds or not to? Curiosity gets the best of him and he tiptoes his way around the huge house. He realizes that the house is bigger than he thought as he bypasses a lot of rooms before he finally gets to the one where the sounds are coming from.

Seth's hands tremble as he opens the door slightly. He peeks into the room and all breath leaves him at the incredible sight in front of him. A half-naked Roman maneuvers his way around the large punching bag in front of him. His body drips in sweat as he shuffles around, his synchronized movements resembling an angry dance. Roman lays a fist on the punching bag— _hard—_ and it flies away from him before coming back full force towards him. Roman dodges it before he hits the bag with a combination of hooks, jabs and uppercuts.

Even though the room is dark, Seth can still see his glorious body from the light coming through from the shining full moon. Roman's raven hair is all over his face but Seth thinks he can see the menacing look on the other man's eye that isn't covered by his hair. Roman looks vicious—his movements resemble those of a predator attacking it's prey. He's only in a pair of silky boxers and Seth can see the big man's muscles ripple and constrict with his every movement and he spots what looks like a tattoo covering his full right arm. Seth bites on his bottom lip—despite hating the man, he couldn't deny that Roman was hot. He couldn't deny that he was attracted to him. From that day he saw him at the park. Who could blame him when the man looked like some Greek god? Who could blame him when Roman was sex personified?

It takes everything he has in him to force himself to turn away and go back to his room when Roman's growling causes him to turn his attention back on the man. Roman's still punching the leather bag but the sounds the big man is emitting capture his attention. Roman's growls have turned into gut-wrenching sobs and grunts.

Seth isn't even aware that his feet are carrying him towards the other man as he opens the room to the indoor gym wider and he enters. "Roman," he whispers touching the other man's sweaty shoulder. He doesn't know why he's reaching out to the raven-haired man because Roman's been nothing but cold to him since they've met but the sounds leaving Roman's lips break his heart and besides surely he couldn't leave the man when something was clearly wrong with him now could he?

Tormented dark eyes meet his, there's a hint of red liquid trickling down with sweat down the royal's left eyebrow. "You're bleeding." Seth whispers leading Roman away from punching bag. The bigger man flinches when Seth's hand comes in contact with his own and pulls away. Seth turns to look at him. "What is it?"

"My uh…hands," Roman's voice is rough.

"You've split your skin open," Seth gasps as he eyes the bigger man's clenched hands. "Do you have a bathroom in this place?"

Roman scoffs and snaps, "Of course there's a bathroom. What kind of gym doesn't?"

"There's no need to be rude. I'm just trying to help you…even though I shouldn't," is snapped back.

"Then what are you doing here? Did I ask you to help me?"

Roman's chest lifts and falls in anger, his breathing ragged. It's all Seth can hear in the otherwise quiet room. For a full minute Seth scrutinizes him—Roman's so so close looking down at him. Seth can see the drying tear steaks on his face but there's still a wetness in his eyes and he wants to wipe the remaining tears away but he keeps his hands hanging limply at his sides. "Suit yourself," he says. He pushes past Roman and heads for the door.

"Wait!" Roman stops him before he can close the door. "I – I had a bad dream."

"But you didn't ask for my help right?"

Seth closes the door and walks in the dark again to make his way back into his bedroom. In the darkness, he enters the wrong room and it's _huge_ and elegantly decorated _._ It's probably the same size of his apartment. The bed's undone and he realizes that it's Roman's room. He quickly exits the room and closes the door. He slips in the comfy bed once he gets into his own room. Sleep evades him as he tosses and turns on the bed. "Fuck," he whispers as he leaves the bed again.

Slippers forgotten, the brunet pads barefoot towards the front door and opens it. As much as he hated Roman, he couldn't bring himself to just go back to sleep while Roman clearly needed help. And that's how he finds himself back at the indoor gym again, having been guided by Roman's grunts again. _This stubborn fool._ "Do you want to break your hands?" he asks.

Roman holds the punching bag, stopping it from flying towards him. He turns to meet Seth and moves his wet hair from his face. "What are you doing here?"

Seth hesitantly strides towards him. "Where's your bathroom?" he asks, ignoring the other man's question.

Roman tilts his head to the side and he looks to be fighting himself on whether or not to accept Seth's help. A big hand goes around Seth's smaller one and he follows the other man. A bright light floods the bathroom the minute they enter and Roman lets go of his hand. "First aid kit?"

Roman nods his head towards a mahogany cabinet. Seth retrieves it and looks back to Roman. "Come rinse your hands and face." The royal complies and leans against the sink once done. "Isn't a bit weird to train in the dark?" he asks handing Roman a towel to wipe his face.

"Isn't a bit weird to ogle people when they're training…at night? Shouldn't you have been asleep or something?"

"I was thirsty."

"…and you decided that _drinking up_  my body would help quench your thirst."

"I wasn't…no!" Seth sputters as Roman smirks at him. "I heard the noises from the kitchen…I was just investigating."

Roman hisses in pain and moves away from Seth when the brunet dabs the cut on his left eyebrow with an antiseptic-dunked white cloth. "For an arrogant asshole, you're such a crybaby. How did you even manage to cut your eye?" He brings Roman's head towards him so that he isn't standing on his tiptoes with how much the other man is tilting his head away from him.

"I uh— had a uh—a…bad dream…" Roman's voice shakes and his eyebrows knit together. "I opened the door roughly and the edge collided with the side of my head."

"What was the dream about?"

"Nothing." Roman shakes his head. Seth knows he's lying—the haunted look in his eyes give him away. But Seth figures it's none of his business. He wasn't here to be the man's therapist anyway. He was here for the press conference and then hopefully he'd be able to go back to his life and never see Roman again. He chuckles lightly when he takes out the bandage and plaster. "What?"

Seth picks up the plasters. "Donald Duck?" he asks, eyebrows raised in amusement.

The bigger man's shoulder lifts and falls in an unperturbed shrug. "I love Donald Duck…" Seth can see that there's more to it than Roman simply 'loving' Donald Duck. There's a distant look in Roman's brown pools as he says that. He's sure the other man doesn't even know that there's tears threatening to pool out of his eyes. He bandages Roman's hands and throws the used items in the bin. He then puts the first aid kit back in it's original place and goes back to Roman.

"All done," he whispers grabbing the other man's hands so that Roman can see the bandages.

Roman clears his throat and looks him in the eyes. "Uh…thank you Seth Rollins." Seth gives him a small smile though Roman doesn't deserve it. Curiosity is etched on his features when Roman lifts his hands up to kiss his warm knuckles softly. Seth remains dumbfounded as Roman leans down to kiss his lips. It's barely a kiss to be honest -- their lips brush against each other timidly and they both don't deepen it.

Seth's the first to pull away and a frown taints his face despite the erratic beating of his heart. "What are you doing?"

"I…don't know."

"I'm a prostitute…why are you, a royal, kissing a prostitute?" Seth asks, his voice laced with venom as he uses Roman's words from a couple of days ago against him. Roman doesn't respond, his expression goes blank and he maneuvers his way around Seth. "Fucking hypocrite!" Seth shouts after him. He leans back against the sink as he hears a being closed roughly. Just what was Roman's deal?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts on Roman?  
> Seth?  
> Anyone else?


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is quite long, sorry.

Seth's already awake when his alarm goes off—he'd spent the last few hours tossing and turning in a bed that suddenly felt too big and uncomfortable. After what'd happened in the bathroom earlier, his mind's been trying to come up with sound justifications on why Roman kissed him. Although it'd barely been a kiss, Seth had still felt Roman's lush lips brush against his and if he'd been bolder he would've deepened the kiss but his mind had reminded him who exactly he was kissing.

Roman; the man who'd come to his apartment a couple of days ago. Roman, who'd insulted him and his family. Roman, who'd targeted his insecurities and made him feel worthless. The same man who'd kissed him a few hours ago was the same man who'd thrown his money at him like Seth was an annoyance he wanted to get rid off. And that's why Seth had pulled away—because kissing Roman was a mistake. Roman was a hypocrite who'd asked Seth why he'd want to be associated with royalty and then he'd turned on his words and kissed him.

A nervous exhale slips past Seth's lips as he finally decides to leave the king size bed. He fixes the bed and then heads into the bathroom to take care of his morning routine. After taking care of his morning routine, Seth goes back into the bedroom and picks out his clothing for today's press conference.

Tamina had scheduled it for noon but they have to be at A'noai Investments an hour before then. They'd have to leave Roman's house a little before ten because the man's house was an hour away from his offices.

After zipping up his skinny jeans, Seth puts on a body hugging grey t-shirt and a pair of black Nikes. He runs his fingers through his brown mane and ties the hair into a messy bun. He sprays a bit of cologne on his body and goes to wash his hands in the bathroom before leaving his room.

He's still a bundle of nerves as he takes the stairs, making his way into the kitchen. He can hear Dean and Xavier's voices as he nears the kitchen. A stilted smile forms on his lips when he enters. "Hey guys…you're up early."

Xavier grins at him and hands him a bowl of fruit. "We're going with you. Manuia said Roman said we could tag along." They head out of the kitchen with the food and Seth tries to ignore the way his insides twist in knots with every step he takes nearing the breakfast room.

"That's great." He hopes his voice doesn't sound as disappointed as he feels when he enters the breakfast room and finds that Roman isn't there. The chair at the head of the table is painfully empty and Manuia sits right next to it with Bobby sat across from him. "Hello."

Both men turn to face him with grins gracing their lips. "Seth. Did you have a good night?"

Seth sits next to Manuia and grabs the orange juice, pouring himself a glass. "I think so."

Manuia nods his head at the response and goes back to eating. Dean eventually joins them, carrying a plate of an assortment of food from the kitchen. "You're hopeless." Seth chuckles.

"I'm just enjoying all this while it lasts. We're leaving tomorrow."

"True," Seth smiles. He digs into his own food and his mind trails involuntarily trails off to last night. To everything that happened last night. Seth didn't think he'd ever met anyone as confusing as Roman—why had he kissed him? Seth's not aware that he's dropped his fork in favor of rubbing his bottom lip. His eyes keep going to the empty chair and a longing tugs at his heart. What would Roman do if he were here? What would he say? Where was he anyway?

"Where's the prince?"

Manuia stops his conversation with the others and looks at Seth. "He left already."

"It's only eight," the words keep escaping unbidden and Seth can't do anything to stop them. He can't help it—there's this deep sinking in his stomach, a disappointment so deep that a part of him wants to tell Manuia to take him to Roman.

His eyes must expose his feelings because Manuia observes him curiously. Seth looks away, mortified, only to find Xavier giving him the same look. He picks up his fork and plays with his food, eyes now focused on his plate.

"Roman leaves around six…sometimes earlier. He's a workaholic."

"So he doesn't leave with you?" _Fuck_. The questions keep coming and he doesn't know how to stop them. He can feel everyone's eyes on him but he keeps his own rooted to his plate.

"He does…" Manuia pauses briefly before continuing, "Sometimes he just wants to travel alone."

"I see."

"Anything else you want to know?"

Shaking his head no in embarrassment, Seth goes back to eating his food even though the butterflies swimming inside his stomach make it difficult to.

* * *

  
"Roman?" Roman looks up to see Bayley stood just outside his office door. "They're here." He smiles at his personal assistant and confirms that he'll be leaving for the boardroom shortly.

Bayley leaves his office and Roman shuts his laptop, his eyes go to the almost empty energy drink bottle and he opens it finishing the remaining contents before throwing the empty bottle inside the small bin next to his desk. He grabs his phone and exits his office. Since his office is on the last floor and the boardroom they will be utilizing is just two floors below, the royal takes the stairs and greets some of his employees on his way to the twenty eighth floor.

Roman opens the beige door once he reaches boardroom 28A. The first thing he's met with are Seth's warm brown eyes, his heart stutters inside his ribcage and Roman isn't sure why. And so he ignores it and greets everyone in the large room, "Good morning." All the attention goes to him and a smile tugs at his lips when Seth's friends' faces practically light up at the sight of him.

"What happened to your hands?" It's Manuia who asks the question. Curiosity etches on everyone's faces except Seth who has an expression Roman can't understand. His eyes remain on Seth's for the fraction of a second before he looks at Manuia.

"Punching bag…" he shrugs. "'S no big deal."

The royal knows Manuia knows there's more to it but he tells his bodyguard to let it go with his eyes to which Manuia nods his head in understanding.

Jimmy enters the boardroom a minute later causing Dean and Xavier to squeal in delight. His cousin was going to act as the two men's guide today and take them to one of the trendiest places in Miami. Because Jimmy often went out with Naomi, the two had connections with a couple of high profile celebrities that Jimmy promised to introduce to Dean and Xavier. "I know…I know. You love me." Jimmy chuckles.

Seth gives Jimmy a friendly wave and settles on the chair besides Tamina after Jimmy and Manuia usher his excited friends outside the boardroom. Roman sits across from him.

"Now that the distractors have left…" Tamina starts, a little grin on her face. "Let's revise how we'll handle the media." Roman nods his head absentmindedly, eyes fixated on Tamina. He can feel Seth's eye on him but he _isn't_ going to look at him. He _can't_.

Tamina serves as background noise because his mind drifts of to last night with Seth. He feels like such a fool for kissing the man sat across from him and a groan slips past his lips when he thinks about the repercussions that'd followed after kissing Seth. The other man had called him a hypocrite and maybe he was. He had— "Roman?"

"Huh?"

"Are you listening?"

Roman clears his throat and leans back on his chair, finally meeting Seth's eyes. "Of course cousin."

"Okay," Tamina looks at her phone and taps on it a few times. "So you know how to handle them." At Roman's nod, his cousin stands up and pats his shoulder. "Good. I got the ten most reputable media I know. I'll go welcome them."

The atmosphere between them is suffocating when Tamina leaves; the tension palpable. Roman doesn't know what to say so he just looks at Seth who for a while does everything in his power to _not_ look at him. The smaller man alternates between looking at the amazing view from the large windows in the boardroom and looking at the door longingly. "You can wait outside if you want to."

"What?"

"The door," Roman nods his head towards it. "You can wait outside." If looks could kill, Roman would be one with his ancestors by now.

"You can't tell me what to do."

"I wasn't," Roman shrugs because he really wasn't but the man looks  _miserable_ —like he'd rather be anywhere than where he is at the moment. "I was just trying to get you out of your misery."

"And who told you I was miserable?"

"Your face, your posture…your eyes."

Seth's about to respond when Tamina enters the boardroom followed by ten people holding cameras and a bunch of other gadgets. They all fix their gadgets and cameras in preparation for the press conference. After everything's been sorted, they settle on the comfy leather chairs whilst Tamina stands at the back.

The clock hits twelve and Roman clears his throat. "I'd like to welcome you all and thank you for being able to join us," Roman smiles at the ten faces looking at him with curiously. "I've been in Lanuola the past couple of days—it's the reason there was silence on my end. But I'm back now so let's get started shall we?"

"Are you involved with a prostitute?" The question comes from a woman with blond hair highlighted in pink.

"No." The answer is simple and straightforward.

"Then what are you doing with Seth Rollins?"

"Seth Rollins is a bartender at a club. Prostitution is his _past_. It's not who he is now. It's not what he's doing now. He's turned his life around and I find it ridiculous that people judge him for something that he did in the past while there's so much wrong happening in the world. There's wars, there's violence, there's poverty and so many other things we should be focusing our time on rather than shaming someone who's clearly turned his life around."

"So you do admit that you were a prostitute?" The question is aimed at Seth.

"Yes…" Seth's voice shakes but Tamina smiles at him from the back and holds her thumbs up. "I was…like the Prince has said, it's my past. I left that kind of life long before I met him."

"So you are dating? With no word from Prince Roman, we've only heard speculations."

A snort involuntarily escapes Roman's lips. "That didn't stop the papers from writing unfounded articles about my relationship with Seth Rollins," he sighs when Tamina frowns at him. "We're not dating. In fact Seth Rollins will tell you exactly how we met."

"At Lakefield park. We…we crashed into each other at the park. I told a reporter who came to my apartment the first day. She didn't believe me."

"And that's how we find ourselves here," Roman pipes in. "Because one unfounded article about a relationship I had no knowledge led to people wanting to shame both myself and Seth Rollins for something that happened a year ago. The media itself played a part in assisting with the ridicule. Digital technology makes it easier to dispense these kind of scandals to the public quicker. And what do myself and Seth Rollins get in return—public shaming and reputational injury. I'm hoping we'll all work together to clear this mess. It is unfair that myself and this man suffer for something he did a _year_ _ago_ , is it not?"

"Definitely," the blond-haired woman replies.

"Good. After I met Seth Rollins, I realized that a lot of prostitutes are in the profession because of circumstance not because of choice. While I do agree that there are prostitutes who're in the profession by choice—I feel that the government would be better suited to work with them so that they reach amicable agreements."

"Are you condoning prostitution, Your Highness?"

Roman closes his bottle of water and places it on the shiny mahogany desk. "I'm not on one side or the other, sir. What I'm simply saying is the government should work with these sex workers. They need to have real discussions about the relevance of sex workers, their roles in society, their lives and all other legalities concerning prostitution."

"You're very passionate about this, but how about how it tarnishes your country? Your business associates?"

"And that's exactly the kind of talk I'm trying to dispel. Because this kind of talk is the exact talk that influences the masses. The media itself greatly affects how people think and view the world. These people that claim I'm tarnishing my country's pride are the same people who spend a portion of their salaries supporting the sex industry. How many people have Pornhub subscriptions? Is that not paying for sex? I think it is, I mean you're spending your money to watch someone have sex and I'm guessing that you do that in order to reach sexual satisfaction. Do people not spend a portion of their salaries at adult stores? Strip clubs? And various other sex related stores? Why then should I judge Seth Rollins for being an ex-prostitute? Like I said before I'm not on one side or the other but the reality is that prostitution is most of the time voluntary unlike pimping and sex slavery so what business of mine is it to judge how someone else chooses to use their body?"

"I believe that we should, instead of judging, focus on what's most important. Why did Seth Rollins like a million others turn to prostitution when he knows it's illegal? Why risk arrest?"

The boardroom remains quiet and Roman looks at Seth who takes over from him, "I…I didn't grow up in the nicest environment. My mom struggled with raising me. We weren't living, we were barely surviving. She had to resort to selling her body to try and make sure that we had basic necessities for us to survive. It was still hard though and when I was old enough, I had to help her…even though I didn't want to. The older you get, the less money you make so I had to help her out. I – I had dreams and aspirations but hardly anyone makes something out of their lives in our neighborhood. I managed to leave there but it's still hard when you have no assistance, no connections and when no one wants to give you a chance. It's how many people find themselves falling back into prostitution, because no one's willing to help. Instead they shun and look down upon many people like me."

An exhale leaves Roman's lips and he addresses the media. "It's because of this very reason that A'noai Investments have decided to start a foundation dedicated to assisting all prostitutes and ex-prostitutes who joined the lifestyle because life had been harsh to them. And I guess I should be thanking the media for their unfounded articles because it opened my eyes to the stigmatization that sex workers face. The foundation will work with prostitutes to assist them with their dreams, their aspirations and their goals. I've already nabbed a few associates who're willing to volunteer some of their time to helping sex workers with their goals and whatever dreams they have."

"A'noai Investments is also going to invest in small and medium enterprises started by them so that these men and women get their feet off the ground and succeed in their businesses. It's what we're doing, instead of condemning and not coming up with solutions. It's what we're doing instead of stigmatizing and shaming. It's what we're doing—we're recognizing the problem and coming up with a solution. If the solution fails, we try another one but we won't hide behind our suits and judge and shame. My father started his empire with love as his foundation. I'm continuing his legacy. We're gonna love and we're gonna be compassionate and we're gonna help and empower and uplift."  
A sunny smile creeps up on lush lips because Roman knows he has them hook line and sinker.

The media remain speechless for a while before a few of them ask a couple more questions and before they know it, their thirty minutes have passed and Roman and Seth shake hands with them before Tamina leads them out again.

Roman's eyes follow Seth as the other man strides towards the door. "A word, Seth Rollins," he says before the smaller man can open the door. When Seth turns to face him, he sees how emotional the other man looks. It's a myriad of emotions that Roman can't read all at once—he doesn't blame the man. He's done what a million other people wouldn't have been able to do.

"Thank you." Seth nods his head and turns to leave again. "I'm not finished, Seth Rollins."

Seth sighs heavily and leans his head against the door before turning to face him again. "What is it?"

Roman walks towards him and stops when they're an inch apart. Seth's back is against the door and he looks up at Roman warily. The royal speaks up before he changes his mind, "I owe you an apology. I'm sorry." 

"W-What?" it's barely above a whisper and Seth's voice shakes.

Roman doesn't like the tone of his voice—it's _him_ who caused this. "I apologize. I've wronged you and for that I am sorry."

"Why…why now? Is it because of this?" The brunet's hand points around the boardroom. "I wasn't doing it for you. I know what it's like to be jobless—I was doing it for your employees…not you."

"I know…" Roman nods, stepping even closer to Seth. "But I still want to apologize."

"Why? After all you've done. Why now?"

"Because I'm an imperfect man, Seth." And it's the first time that this man in front of him is calling him using just his name. Not his name and surname like he usually does. Seth doesn't know how to feel about that, doesn't know what to do so he searches Roman's almond eyes. For a minute, the brown pools remain blank before Seth's allowed to see the genuineness in the other man's eyes. Seth must be dreaming. Roman interrupts his thoughts, "My parents…my parents taught me that a good man—a gentleman—admits and owns up to his mistakes when he's in the wrong. I admit, I judged you wrongly. I hurt you and for that I am sorry."

"I get that you're sorry!" Seth snaps even though he doesn't mean to but Roman's confusing him. This man who was rude to him just last night is now apologizing to him. Why? "But WHY? What caused you to treat me the way you did?"

Roman walks away from him and goes to look at the ongoing life from the view in the boardroom. He doesn't want to tell Seth. The man's not even family and he'd already been vulnerable in front of him last night only to have Seth spew venom at him. But it's all he's been doing since he's met Seth—allowed his feelings to get the best of him. With Seth, with Brock, with everything…since he's met Seth.

He can hear Seth's footsteps trail towards him but he keeps his back turned to him. He hopes as he answers that his voice is level enough and does not reveal the way his heart feels like it's been out of his body and trampled upon by a billion cars, "I had a…friend. His mom was a prostitute. The whore didn't care for him and he suffered at her hands until my…until my mom brought him to Lanuola to leave with us when she died. I guess I painted you with the same brush I did her."

And that somehow makes everything _worse_ —because this man who has his back to him hurt him for something he had nothing to do with. Seth turns him around forcefully so that they're eye to eye. " _Great_. Just great! So you punished me for the mistakes of a dead woman I don't know? You…you insulted me and hurt me because of your friend's mother. I'm sorry that he had to go through that, but Jesus, I went through the same thing Roman. Maybe your friend had it worse than me but you…" he tries to even his breathing. And it pisses him off how the other man looks stoic, unreadable. "You saw what I went through. You _threw_ that folder at me, you know my past."

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry doesn't undo the hurt you caused me!" Seth stalks away from him and paces back and forth near the door. "You targeted my insecurities. You made me feel inferior—worthless. I-I was being shamed and judged because of a _mistake_ and when you came along…I thought you would help me. And what did I get instead?" A pained chuckle escapes his lips as he continues his pacing and rambling, "I got ridiculed and judged," Seth deflates and shakes his head. "Where is Manuia? I can't be here anymore. I need to leave this place."

Roman sees the truth of the other man's words as Seth keeps looking at the door longingly, he sighs and decides he needs to apologize for one final thing before he lets the man go. "I'm also sorry about last night. The…kiss. I shouldn't have done that and I regret it deeply. You were right…I am hypocrite."

"I don't care," It hurts to utter the words because Seth _does_ care even though he shouldn't. It hurts because the other man _regrets_ kissing him and Seth…he doesn't even though he should. He sighs and looks back at Roman, the royal is still looking at him, poised as ever. _Why_ _does_ _he_ _always_ _do_ _that_? "I want to leave…please."

Roman takes his phone out of his pocket and dials Manuia's number, "Manuia…yes. I'd like for you to fetch Seth Rollins please…thank you," his phone goes back to his pocket. "Stay here. He'll be with you shortly."

Seth makes way for him when he strides towards the door. "Thank you," Roman's hand is on the doorknob when Seth says that. Roman looks back at him briefly, he nods his head and smiles a little before leaving the boardroom.

* * *

 

Roman gets home after eight, normally he'd leave the office around five so that he gets home in time for Masina's home cooked meals. He leans his head against the back of his seat and allows his eyes to shut closed. Despite Tamina having come back to him with the positive feedback and praises from the media and the general public regarding today's press conference, he still felt burdened, _heavy_.

This day hadn't been a good one for him and he only had one person to blame for it.

  
Since his conversation with Seth after the press conference, Roman's whole mood had been dampened. The brunet hadn't even accepted his apology. A part of him was dreading seeing the other man again. He couldn't deny that he felt relief at knowing the other man was leaving tomorrow. Seth ignited in him a myriad of emotions he had no control over.

His feet are hesitant as they touch the ground—they seem to agree with him about running away for the night and coming back home the following evening when Seth and his friends have left. But Roman _isn't_ a coward—he wasn't raised like that. He'd owned up to his faults and apologized to Seth, there was nothing else left to do.

The royal grabs his briefcase from the backseat and locks his car. His ears are assaulted with loud sounds coming from the den immediately he enters the house. The sounds make him jump a bit—it's so weird to come home to any lively chatter. He isn't used to the sound, usually it's just him alone.

"Seth, lend me your perfume, will ya?" It sounds like it's Dean who's shouting from up the stairs.

"In my blue bag! And don't bathe in it Dean—shit's expensive." It's Seth's voice he hears this time and Roman follows it. He finds Seth doing Xavier's hair on one of the leather couches while Jimmy sits with Naomi on another.

"Romie!" Naomi click on marble floors with every step she takes towards him, "I've missed you. How come you never visit us anymore?" Roman gladly accepts the embrace the dark skinned woman envelopes him in. He buries his face in her neck and breathes her in deeply, his arms tightening around her. Roman's hands slowly trail to Naomi's ass and he chuckles lightly when she returns the favor.

"Well damn…y'all never told me y'all were into some threesome shit!"

Jimmy breaks out into laughter while Xavier chides his friend lightly, "Really, Dean?"

"What?" Dean shrugs, plopping down on the couch besides Jimmy. "This hug doesn't look innocent to me."

Roman pulls back and looks at Jimmy, "What's going on?"

"Isn't it obvious, uce?" Jimmy replies. "We're going out. It's a good thing you arrived. Go take a quick shower, we'll leave in thirty."

"I don't think so," Roman grabs his briefcase that he dropped on the floor and heads for the stairs. He sighs in mild annoyance when Naomi follows him up the stairs. "Nae…I've got a lot of work to catch up on."

"It's a Friday, Roman. I've left you to your own devices for far too long. You've gone back to caging yourself inside this big ass mansion. We're going out and that's final. Go take a quick shower," she goes to his walk-in closet and retrieves a pair of black jeans and a grey v-neck t-shirt. "If you're not out in…" her eyes go to her phone before going back to Roman. "…ten minutes. That's all I'm giving you. If you're not out by then, I'll come drag you out. You know I will…"

Roman sighs and places his briefcase on a chair and removes his shoes. He goes to the en suite bathroom for a quick shower before going back to the bedroom. He tightens the towel around his waist and looks at Naomi who's typing away on her phone and giggling to herself. "I need to get dressed, Nae."

"Go ahead."

Roman groans and obliges, he knows the feisty woman won't change her mind anyway. Naomi had already seen him naked once after all. They'd been late for a family gathering and the petit but strong woman had dragged him out of the shower naked as the day he was born. He'd tried to hide his dick to which Naomi had laughed and told him his dick would make him millions as a porn star…whatever that means.

After putting on his Ralph Lauren's beneath the white towel, Roman removes the fluffy item and folds it neatly, earning a chuckle from Naomi when he does that but he shrugs her off—it's a habit he learned from his mother. To never leave anything lying around untidily.

Roman lotions his body and puts on a bit of deodorant before putting on the black jeans Naomi picked out for him. He puts on the grey t-shirt, the grey item hugging his body just right—not too much and not too little. Roman then puts on his black socks and a pair of Nikes. He slides on his gold Rolex and goes to the full body mirror. He ties his hair into a low bun and looks back to Naomi.

"Can we leave now?"

Naomi looks up from her phone and gets up. "Of course son," she taps his cheeks and kisses it softly. "Aw, my baby cleans up so nicely."

Roman rolls his eyes as they make their way to the first floor, "I'm not a child. And did you dump Leilani with Nia again?"

"She ain't doing nothing." Naomi shrugs.

They step outside and Jimmy heads towards his car, "You're riding with Seth. I'll take Dean and Xavier. Nae, get your ass over here!"

That causes Roman to panic—he can't ride with Seth. They'd probably spend the hour it takes to reach the club they're going to arguing. He doesn't let the panic he's feeling show however, and clears his throat to ensure that his voice comes out even and unaffected, "There's enough space for Seth to ride with you guys. Don't you think he wants to be with his friends?"

The others enter Jimmy's Jeep while Seth and Roman remain outside with Jimmy looking at them from outside his car, "I know you hate each other so I'm tasking you to play nice. You're leaving together and working out your differences before Seth leaves. Bye y'all." Roman watches Jimmy get in the car and drive off. The fucking bastard.

"I'm going back to the house," Seth announces.

Roman grabs his hand before he can do so, "I'll take you…I don't mind." A part of Seth doesn't believe him but he still allows Roman to guide him towards his Bentley.

"Uh…thanks," he whispers when the royal opens his door for him. Roman nods and goes to the driver's side.

Both men are grateful when they finally reach club. The tension that'd been in the car during the trip to the club had slowly been reaching dangerous heights. Despite the music playing on the radio, the pair had been overly aware of each other. Each movement Seth took, Roman noticed. And it'd only be worse when they'd stop at red lights because they'd find themselves looking at each other unintentionally. Their gazes would gravitate towards each other before they'd both look away in embarrassment for Seth and in confusion for Roman.

The club they're at is a gay club—and Roman's not surprised really. His cousin and his wife had the coolest relationship ever. And it's a pity that he wasn't looking for love because if he were then he'd want something like Jimmy and Naomi have. He parks his car in the VIP area before exiting the car with Seth. He guides Seth towards the VIP entrance and they both greet the bouncer at the doorway.

Jimmy and his crew have long arrived when Seth and Roman enter the VIP area. Naomi's sandwiched by her husband and another muscled guy in skimpy underwear. Dean and Xavier immediately pull Seth towards them for a dance while Roman goes to take a seat on one of the leather chairs.

A twink wearing a pink thong and fairy wings comes in his direction. The man's beautiful skin is illuminated by the red and blue lights flashing in the VIP room. Roman can immediately tell that the guy's into him with the way the small man swings his hips and bites on his lips as he nears him. "Hey there," The voice is too feminine for his tastes but he smiles at the small man nonetheless.

"Hello."

"What can I get you?" The man touches his shoulder and he pulls away from the touch. The action causes the man to frown a bit and Roman watches his confidence crumble. He doesn't mean to—but causal sex is not his thing. Matter of fact he may as well be asexual seeing as the last time he was interested in sex was three years ago with Nikki.

Roman orders his drink and the twink scurries off in the direction of the bar. His drink arrives a minute later and he gives the man a hundred—he has to compensate the poor boy for breaking his heart somehow.

The whiskey burns his throat as it makes its way inside his body. The club must be in frisky mood tonight because erotic after erotic song plays on the speakers. The sea of bodies grind and writhe against each other on the dancefloor

A giggling to his side catches Roman's attention—he turns his head in the direction and groans at the marvelous sight in front of him. He watches Seth dance with Dean and salivates at the sight they make…or rather the sight _Seth_ makes.

He barely hears what song they're dancing to but he hears a few words here and there about bumping and grinding.

His hand tightens on his tumbler of whiskey as he watches Seth's hips move in time with the beats of the song. Seth's hips sway side to side and he touches his body in ways that shouldn't be allowed in such a public setting.

Roman hates to admit it but the sight makes little Roman swell in interest, although there's definitely nothing _little_ about the predicament he's in…well there goes his asexuality. He shifts in his seat and discreetly adjusts himself through his jeans.

 _Fuck_.

He groans when Dean turns Seth around before bending him over and the auburn-haired man grounds his front in long sinuous movements against Seth's ass. Seth gives as good as he gets and grind back against the other man before Dean pulls him back up again.

Dean pauses briefly and pulls out his phone. Roman watches as he whispers something to Seth before leaving the brunet all by himself. The blue lights illuminate his golden skin as Seth dances on his own, moving his body erotically to the another provocative song playing on loud speakers.

Roman barely pays attention to the other writhing bodies on the dancefloor because his eyes remain on the only person who has him _enchanted_ with the sinuous way in which his body moves.

Roman chugs the water that he ordered down his throat but it does nothing to help him quench how parched he feels at the moment.

He's on his feet and walking towards the spectacular sight in front of him. Seth looks irresistibly hot with his body moving like that. All provocative and explicit. His hands rest on Seth's waist and he pulls the smaller man towards him so that Seth's back is flush against his front. An audible gasp slips past Seth's lips and he looks over his shoulder towards Roman.

"What are you doing?"

"Dancing," Roman responds pulling Seth even closer to him. The royal's hands roam underneath his t-shirt and he grinds his swelled cock against Seth's ass. Seth arches his back and pushes his ass against Roman's front, rolling his hips. The act causes Roman to growl low in his throat and hold Seth's body in place. "What are _you_ doing to me Seth?"

"I don't know," the brunet whispers. He moans when Roman's hands turn him around so that swelled cock rubs against swelled cock, creating even more friction. Large hands go to his ass and pull him closer. The friction increases with every move their bodies make together. They both fail to notice their friends' curious eyes, both their gazes locked on each other—transfixed.

Roman licks his lips at how enticing Seth looks with the smaller man biting on his bottom lip. He leans down, needing to taste those lips and they're a breath apart when the royal pulls back. _Abort_. _Danger_. He ignores Seth's confusion as he pulls away and shakes his head, trying to rid himself of the wanton thoughts clouding his judgement, "I'm sorry Seth. I – this is a mistake."

Seth's eyes go from confusion, to realization, then hurt and finally anger. Roman looks away, he just hurt the man again. Everything suddenly feels too hot, too crowded… _too_ _much_. Roman takes a step away from Seth, then two before finally turning his back on the man and heading for the exit.

The cold night air assaults him immediately he's outside but it doesn't give the chill he so desperately craves. Because he's at the VIP exit, there's hardly anyone loitering where he stands. His eyes go to the starless skies and a small exhale slips past his lips. His eyes have closed when they open because of _his_ voice, "Take me home!"

Roman doesn't wait a heartbeat, "Of course," he begins walking towards the VIP parking lot when Seth grips his hand, forcing Roman to look at him.

"I don't get you. You're cold, you're hot. You tell me you don't want to be associated with a prostitute and then you kiss me. You say you're sorry for treating me badly and then you go and do it _again_. What is wrong with you?!" Roman's pushed roughly when he remains quiet, "Fucking answer me! What is wrong with you?"

 _You wouldn't know what to do if I told you_ , Roman thinks to himself but he raises an eyebrow at Seth. "I don't need to explain myself to you."

"I can't wait to leave this place," Seth says more to himself than to Roman.

"If your friends weren't busy partying right now then I'd ask Bobby to fly you back to get you out of your misery…" Roman snaps. "But we can't always get what we want, now can we?"

Seth walks away from him, and Roman thinks he's going back to the club but the brunet bypasses the entrance and continues walking down the road, "Where are you going?"

"To your fucking mansion!"

"Don't be ridiculous! It's an hour away by car. Do you really think you'll make it there by foot?" Roman scoffs and is making his way back to the club when he notices that Seth is serious. "Seth Rollins…come back. Do you even know the direction to my house? It's in a secluded area. Come back." Still Seth persists and Roman mentally curses as he changes his course of direction, following Seth.

"Hey…hey. Listen—"

Roman grabs Seth's arm forcefully when he's close enough and the other man turns in his direction but the brunet falls off the pavement and a cry of pain leaves his lips when he lands on his knee and it twists before falling on his butt onto the ground. Roman crouches on the ground and watches Seth clutch his right leg while moaning in pain. "Seth…I –"

"FUCK YOU!" Seth screams in his face, his eyes threatening to spill his tears.

He's just about to check how badly he's injured the other man when their friends join them, "What's going on?" _Shit_.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	8. Chapter 8

_Pain._ It's the only thing that registers through Seth's mind immediately he falls to the ground. He can't help the pained sounds that falls off his lips as he clutches his right knee. He'd heard a pop inside his knee when he landed on it on the ground. He tries to stretch his knee only for him to pull it back to it's initial bent position because the pain's too much to handle. Roman's still crouched on the ground, looking like a scared animal—the look's so foreign and adorable on him that Seth would laugh if he wasn't in pain. But it _hurts_ and this gorgeous son of a bitch in front of him caused it.

"Don't you dare touch me," he snaps through gritted teeth when the royal attempts to touch him. His pain clouded minded distantly hears footsteps walk towards them and he looks over Roman's shoulder through blurry eyes to see his friends. "I said I don't want your help. You caused this! What, do you want to injure me further, is that it?!" the screams come out breathless as he keeps having to take pauses because of the pain he's in.

A pang of guilt settles in his heart when Roman goes from looking like a scared animal to looking…hurt? Seth doesn't have much time to ponder over Roman's expression though as Dean pushes past Roman who's now stood at the back and talking to Naomi while the rest of their friends crowd him. "What happened Seth?"

Seth averts his gaze to Xavier's soft voice and wipes a lone tear, "He—he grabbed my arm and I—I fell. My knee…it hurts," he croaks.

Seth grabs Dean's arm and buries his face in his arm when Xavier inspects his knee. The pain's unbearable and he really, really wants to cry but he bites on his bottom lip and snuggles into Dean further as Xavier stretches the injured leg, "Could be a knee sprain. We should take you to the hospital. They'll be able to tell how bad it is." Xavier explains.

"You know this, how?"

Xavier snorts lightly and lets go of Seth's leg, "Randy's a doctor Dean. How many times have I told you this?"

"Don't blame me for forgetting easily." Dean attempts to pull Seth out of his arm but the brunet buries his face in deeper. Jimmy and Xavier laugh softly while Dean attempts to pry the other man off. "Seth come on," he groans in mild frustration, "You can't spend the whole night hiding in my arm. Everyone's looking at you weirdly."

That causes the brunet to pull away, his arm goes around Dean and he allows the older man to pull him up. He tries to stand on his own when they tell him to and his knee buckles towards the outside. Dean picks him up when he almost falls to the ground again, "I guess I'll have to carry him."

"Roman will ride with him to the hospital. You'll go with them Dean…make sure Seth's comfortable as can be."

Dean nods at Jimmy's instruction and walks towards Roman with Seth still in his arms. A part of Seth almost wants to tell Dean to let Roman hold him when he notices the royal's dark stare. His mind's still hazy from the pain but a part of him swears that Roman looks jealous. He doesn't spend much time analyzing Roman's ever changing expressions though and instead rests his head against Dean's chest and closes his eyes, allowing the auburn-haired man to carry him towards Roman's car.

* * *

 

"Eight weeks!" Seth's head falls back on the hospital bed, his voice shaking in frustration. "It'll take eight weeks to heal? What…what am I going to do?"

"I'm sorry. The injury only worsened because of the previous one you had. But you're lucky the injury wasn't associated with damage to the Anterior cruciate ligament, the recovery time would've taken much longer if it had." The doctor, whose name is Nia, explains.

Seth barely pays her any mind with the stress he's currently under. It turns out that Xavier had been right about him suffering a knee sprain and now this doctor—who he notices has called Roman aside—has told him that the tear would take six to eight weeks to heal. Dean brushes his brown strands in an attempt to soothe him while Xavier stands on his right and smiles positively at him, he'd return the smile if only he hadn't noticed how Roman grabs Nia's arm and pulls her in for a hug before kissing her forehead softly.

Shouldn't the bastard be kissing _his_ forehead? Seth knows Roman wouldn't dare do it and that he's being irrational but he can't see any reason at the moment. The royal bastard _injured_ him. He's the one that deserves the attention Roman's showering this _Nia_ woman with. He averts his gaze to his right knee that's now covered in splints and exhales softly. Nia said he'd wear the thing so that any swelling would ease to enable the cast he'd wear after to provide the best fit. So it looks like he'd be stuck here for at least four or five more days.

But what would he do once he got back to Tampa? How would he go to work? To school? Dean and Xavier were there but they also had their own responsibilities that they had to take care of. And oh god…his rent. How would he pay his rent? "Seth…what's wrong?"

It's only when he hears Xavier's voice that he realizes he's hyperventilating and he feels a wetness on his cheeks. _Great,_ he's crying. "My job…I can't serve customers on an injured knee. Hunter will have to find a replacement until I'm fine. R-Rent..." he trails off and closes his eyes, whispering, "Fuck," over and over again.

"I have a solution."

The deep voice catches him off guard. For a second he'd forgotten that Roman was still with them. He wipes his eyes and looks at Roman, who hasn't left where he was standing with Nia. He's crossed his arms against his impeccable chest, bringing attention to the big biceps. Seth bites on his bottom lip and gives him a quizzical glance. Dean asks the question running through his mind for him, "What is it?"

Roman moves away from the door and goes to sit on a tawny chair on the left side of the bed. He looks at Xavier and Dean before eyeing Seth. "Tamina made a suggestion after you left our offices. I didn't think it was a good one, considering you're still in school but you are graduating in a few months so perhaps it's not so bad. You know we're beginning a foundation to assist former prostitutes." It's not a question but Seth still nods his head softly, his eyes never leaving Roman's. "Tamina mentioned the importance of having a psychologist. There are mental and subconscious repercussions that some of these people have and are suffering. Tamina felt that you'd be perfect for the position because you've been a prostitute before. These people will open up easier to someone who knows what they're going through, someone who's been through the same situation."

"I'm not sure I understand what you're trying to say."

Dean snorts and pulls on Seth's hair slightly, "He's offering you a job, dimwit."

"This foundation, center, you mentioned during the press conference that it's going to be based in Miami. I'd have to leave home and move here," Seth's voice wavers in uncertainty. Surely Roman wasn't asking him to leave Tampa and move to Miami? He didn't even know anyone here. Except for him and Jimmy and Naomi. Sure, Jimmy and Naomi were nice people but he wasn't that close to them. He barely knew them. And Roman…well he still isn't sure what to make of Roman. Roman changes like the weather, cold one minute, hot the next.

"Yes. I think it's logical. You're a bartender, Seth Rollins. You need your legs to be able to do your job well. If you persist and go to work on an unhealed leg, you may be susceptible to re-injury and that means even more time away from your job. I don't mean to offend you but you know what you do when you're desperate for money. I think this is the most logical solution."

As much as it does offend him when the royal says that, Seth can't deny that he somewhat has a point. He'd sold his body to Bray because he'd been desperate for money. He _can't_ do that again. Anything but that. "What about my clothes? My car? Hell I'm still a student. What about school? Where do I stay? There's so many things I still need to consider."

"I have connections with the chancellor of one of the best colleges in Miami, Seth. You can easily transfer and finish your degree here. Accommodation? I'll offer you a place to stay until you're healed enough and then you can look for an apartment to rent in Miami. Materialistic things can always be rebought. You can always get new clothes and a new car."

The whole thing sounds too good to be true and Seth's curious. Why is Roman offering all this, out of the blue? Maybe this is some dream—and he isn't sure if it's a pleasant one or a nightmare—that he'll wake up from. His vision turns dark when he squeezes his eyes shut. "Seth?" Xavier's calm voice tells him he _isn't_ dreaming. He opens his eyes again, Roman's stoic expression coming into view.

"Why are you doing this?"

He receives a nonchalant shrug in return, "I'm trying to help you Seth. Everything you need to ensure you recover well, I can provide. And in the process, I'm offering you a job and a temporary place to stay. I'm offering free education as well. Think of it as you benefiting from my foundation. Plus, it's also my fault you're in this predicament…" Roman pauses and shifts his eyes to Seth's injured leg. "Though not completely but I still hurt you and I want to help."

"I'm not a charity case. I was doing fine before you came along," Seth ignores Dean and Xavier's tiny gasps. He ignores the dark skinned man's gentle chiding and focuses on Roman.

"I didn't say you were," Roman gets up. He scoffs while looking down at Seth. "I know how _fine_ you were doing before I came along. Just…think about it. We leave in thirty minutes, I'll go update Jimmy and Naomi before we leave."

Seth's eyes follow Roman's confident strides towards the door. The door closes with a silent click after the royal exits. He can sense his friends' eyes on him. "What?"

"That was rude. So unlike you," Xavier tells him.

"Rudeness comes easier than admitting you've got the hots for someone," Dean singsongs. A tiny, "Ow!" escaping him when Seth elbows his midsection.

"I do not have the hots for anyone. Especially not _him._ "

"Yes, you do." Xavier accuses. "I saw you two dancing. All that grinding you were doing…mhm."

"I did it with Dean too!" incredulity fills Seth's voice.

"Hey that was totally innocent," Dean cuts in, a frown appearing on his face. In fact you suggested I dirty dance with you. You told me how to touch…hey!"

Seth turns his attention away from them to stare at a bland painting on teal colored walls. His hands wring together and his cheeks burn in obvious embarrassment. "Seth…were you trying to makePrince Roman jealous?"

"No-no!" Seth's head whips back to his friends. "Xavier…no!"

"You were," Xavier says it matter-of-factly. He knows Seth enough to know that he stutters when he's lying. Plus sometimes he wrings his hands together, like he's doing now.

"I couldn't help it. That—that blond _twink_ was _flirting_ with him and it was just ugh..." Seth draws an arm over his eyes.

"Jello. Sethie is jello, jello. Red jello. J—"

"We get it Dean!" Xavier snaps, eyeing Dean down even though he's way shorter than him. The look causes Dean to burst out laughing and he pinches the dark skinned man's cheeks. "Dean," Xavier scowls.

"Adowable. Just adowable."

"Fucking prick," Seth joins in on Dean's laughter at that. Xavier _never_ swears. He's painfully innocent but painfully perceptive at the same time. "I don't know why you're laughing when you still haven't decided whether or not you're accepting the prince's offer."

"I'm not," Seth says seriously.

"Don't be an idiot. You're being offered a job before you even graduate college. For a field that you studied for. How many people get that opportunity? I'm telling you now that I'd accept it if Roman had offered me the position."

"Are you sure you're my friend Dean? You're way too eager to get rid of me."

"It's just that this opportunity comes once in a while. Grab it with both hands Seth."

"Do what feels right to you," Xavier says, going to stand next to Dean.

What feels right to him… _what_ feels right to him? Seth rests his head on the pillow and ponders on what to do. What would he be returning to Tampa for? His job, his friends, school. The comfort of being in familiar surroundings with the people he knows. And if he stays in Miami, what would he be staying for? A new job that he actually went to college for. A way better salary. He'd get to work with people and make a change in their lives. But he'd still have no friends. And who knows what staying with Roman would be like? What if they argued like they almost always do and the royal kicked him out of his house? What if he fired him over their personal issues? Then again there's also the prospect of starting afresh. Getting to meet new people. "I know what to do," his words have hope in them. He moves his arm to look at his friends. "I just hope I'm making the right decision."

* * *

 

"What'd Nia say? We saw her in passing, she was rushing to check on another patient."

Roman accepts the bottle of water from Jimmy, giving him a grateful smile, "She said a lot of things. Medical jargon…" he laughs a little and drinks the cold water. After closing the lid, he continues. "Something about a grade three MCL tear. They put on this brace thing on his right leg. Nia said it's designed to allow his knee to move backward and forward but not side to side. He'll have to keep his knee mobilized like that for 72 hours and then I'll bring him back to get a lightweight cast."

"Did he scream at you when they were prodding his knee?"

"He wanted to rip me apart limb by limb."

"Ouch!" Naomi laughs causing Roman to grin sheepishly. The brunet man had cussed him with words he didn't even know existed when Nia was working on his knee. He'd moan in pain and hide his head in Dean's shoulder, small whimpers sounding in the hospital room. Roman had felt his heart clench whenever the other man held onto Dean—he couldn't place the feeling but it hadn't been a nice one. He'd find himself wanting to push Dean away from Seth so that _he_ could soothe the other man's pained cries. He'd felt that way too when they were at that gay club and Seth had ordered him not to help him but had gladly accepted Dean's help.

Maybe the two had something going on between them? The thought angers him for some reason and he unconsciously tightens his hold on the plastic bottle. He then remembers a conversation with Xavier, the young man had told him that Dean was dating a Swiss man by the name of Tony? No, Antonio. Yes, that's what Xavier had said his name was. But then why had their dancing looked far from innocent? At the time, he hadn't thought much of it because his judgement had been clouded by lust. But maybe Seth and Dean were in a secret relationship and Antonio didn't know about it?

"Hey, did you know Nia—Roman…hey! Roman….earth to the prince!"

It is possible. Sure they all looked like they were close but Xavier hadn't bended—

"Roman!"

"What?!" Roman doesn't mean for his voice to come out angry but thinking about Seth being with anyone is making him…angry. He doesn't know why but the damn brunet's fucking with his thoughts. He's igniting all those emotions he can't control again. Roman clears his throat and looks at Jimmy and Naomi's shocked but curious gazes. "I'm sorry. I was just…thinking."

"About what?" it's Naomi who asks the question.

"…something."

"Like what?" Naomi asks again.

"It's not that important."

"You sure uce?"

Roman smiles at Jimmy, "Yeah, yeah. 'S nothing serious cousin." His attention turns away from them when his name's called. He doesn't look at Dean, focusing on Xavier instead. "You need anything?"

"Seth wants to see you."

"Okay," he leaves his chair and goes in the direction of Seth's room.

* * *

 

There's a soft knock on the door before Roman enters. Seth looks at him, unconsciously playing with his hands. His heart beats faster with each quiet step Roman trails towards him until the royal is at his bed, "Hey."

"Hey," Seth responds foolishly. Roman's hand draws patterns on the leg that's covered in a knee brace.

"You made a decision?"

"Yes," Seth takes in a deep breath and lets it out slowly. "I'll stay…I just hope I'm not going to regret it later on."

"I hope so too," a silence blankets the hospital room after Roman says that. It's not stifling or anything, more…comfortable than anything. Seth watches Roman's index finger travel until it reaches his right foot. He holds his breath when the royal draws jumbled patterns on smooth tan skin—it tickles and he finds himself punching Roman's tattooed arm lightly. The royal grins at him and Seth can't help but return it. This man in front of him is _gorgeous._

"Who was that lady?"

Confusion morphs the royal's expression, "Who?"

Seth's heart feels like it will jump out of his ribcage at Roman's gaze. The man's beautiful thick eyebrows are furrowed together, his brown eyes squinted just lightly in confusion. "The doctor," like this morning, Seth can't seem to stop himself from asking the questions. "Who was she?"

"Nia? She owns this hospital."

"Is she your girlfriend? Fuck buddy? Lover?" Seth's face turns sour when Roman laughs at him. He can tell it's at his expense and he _hates_ it. He folds his arms across his chest and looks away, "Forget I asked."

"She's my cousin. I mean I know she's drop dead gorgeous and hey…many men fall at her feet but I don't think her husband would appreciate it if I made a move at her. My country wouldn't too. We're not into incest…even if she's a distant cousin." Roman considers Seth carefully and asks, "Why'd you want to know?"

Marriage. Roman mentioned marriage…but how come Seth didn't see her ring. His gaze settles on his lap in embarrassment. Of course he wouldn't have noticed because he was too busy being jealous about the woman's closeness to her _cousin._ "Just curious…" Seth hopes his voice is unperturbed as his shrug. "There's nothing else we need to do, is there? Can you get Dean and Xavier to come back here so we can leave?"

The dark stare that he saw earlier when Dean was carrying him returns and Seth wonders why. Roman couldn't be jealous of his friends, could he? Seth dismisses the idea, the man didn't look like one who got affected by a lot of things…unlike him. "I'll get you a wheelchair."

"No," Seth shakes his head. "Call Dean."

"I'll carry you. If you'll allow me to."

Roman's whole persona exudes calm as he makes the offer but his voice gives him away. He grits the words out like he _doesn't_ want Seth to be carried by anyone else but him. He slides his hands into his back pockets and waits on Seth's response. "Fine," Seth sighs. He gasps when he's brought into Roman's solid body, the other man's scent invading him. Seth's hands are almost hesitant, scared, as he clutches Roman's grey t-shirt. His knuckles brush against Roman's firm chest and he rests his head against it, feeling Roman's steady heartbeat. The sound soothes his pain and he snuggles deeper into Roman's chest breathing in his exotic scent. Roman's arms tighten around him and it feels nice _, safe._ Everything else fades into nothing, including their friends' curious glances as they exit the hospital.

* * *

 

Seth blinks rapidly while looking up at Roman. He hears Xavier's tiny giggles while Dean cackles besides him on his bed. It's been an hour since they arrived back from the hospital. Dean and Xavier had left Seth alone for a while to go pack their clothing because the two men were leaving tomorrow. Dean being eager to welcome Antonio who'd be coming to Tampa tomorrow and Xavier also had school, plus Randy had been hounding him with phone calls, asking him to come back home.

The two men had promised to visit him every other weekend though and Seth had already called Hunter about everything that had happened in Miami and how he was going to be staying with the Prince for a while. Hunter, being the good boss he is, had wished him luck, only stressing about how he'd have to find Seth's replacement. The only thing left to do was to speak to his college's chancellor via video call about sorting out his transfer to the new college he'd be attending.

"What did you say?"

"I'll be organizing for you to stay in the room next to mine. With your injury, it'll be easier that way. So you don't struggle with anything."

"I don't know what they find funny," Seth smacks Dean upside the head. "When?"

"You can spend the night here. Masina will have everything ready for you tomorrow. She'll move the few items you brought along to that room. Have you decided what you want Bobby to bring to Miami when he comes back?"

"I gave him a list."

Roman nods his head and goes to stare out the window, "Your car?"

"I'm giving it to Xavier. Randy must be getting tried of fetching him every night." Xavier blushes and gives him a grateful smile.

"I still don't understand why you won't let me pay you for it. But I'm grateful. I'm sure Randy will be too…after he calms down."

"If there's nothing else, I'm going to retire for the night."

Seth shakes his head and watches Roman head to the door, "Have a good night and…thank you."

The royal nods and closes the door quietly. A small smile stretches Seth's lips as he exhales quietly. He stares at the door for what feels like forever before reverting his gaze to his friends. Curious eyes are already looking at him, both Xavier and Dean having mischievous little grins covering their lips, "What is it?"

"You like him."

"Do not," the protest is futile. He knows it and that his friends don't believe him, not that he blames them. He's having a hard time convincing himself too. One minute he wants to wring Roman's neck for a number of reasons and the next minute he wants to throw his arms around Roman and beg the man to have his babies.

"You like him," Dean repeats.

"I do," he finally admits. "What do I do you guys? I know this will sound cliché but I have _never_ felt this way before. About anyone. I've never given myself time to actually feel something for anyone. And then this…this gorgeous royal Adonis ignites feelings in me without even trying. _He's not even trying._ With the way I'm going, I'll end up falling for him…maybe I should leave and go back home with you guys."

"Maybe he likes you too?" Xavier asks.

Seth dismisses him with a tiny head shake. "The man changes his mind like the weather Xav. When we were dancing, I thought he maybe a tiny part of him does. And then he was leaning his head down like he wanted to kiss me before he changed his mind and said that it was a _mistake._ I…" Seth sighs, looking at Xavier dejectedly. "I don't get him, Xav. When he's kind, I can't help falling, you know? I can't help it. But then he goes and screws up again, making me angry."

"But the anger doesn't overpower how much you like him."

"No," Seth agrees.

"Look, I think he likes you too." Xavier explains further when Seth gives him a disbelieving look, "You can't fake that connection I saw between you two when you were dancing Seth. You guys barely pay us any mind when you're together. And your eyes always seem to find each other… I think he likes you."

"It's probably futile," Seth sighs. "I'm an idiot for talking about feelings when there's probably no chance of anything more growing between us. I'm experiencing my first crush. That's all it is…nothing more."

"You're twenty-nine and you're experiencing your _first_ crush," Dean cackles.

"That's it! Out Dean, get out of my room. And don't you dare come back in the morning to say goodbye. I don't want to see your homeless looking ass anywhere near me tomorrow."

Dean gets off the bed when Seth repeatedly smacks his head, "Alright, alright. Damn! I'll see you tomorrow."

"I don't think so. Night, Xav." He accepts Xavier's kiss on the forehead. Once his friends leave his room, he turns off the bedside lamp and falls back on plush white pillows. The fluffy pillows smell heavenly and he brings one close to him. Tonight's events play in his mind, and he finds himself feeling a bit nervous, and a bit scared. He just went from being a bartender living in a tiny apartment to being offered a position, working for a very powerful man and staying in said man's house—his big mansion—that Seth's sure he's still going to get lost in.

Roman had mentioned getting him a physical therapist to help with his rehabilitation. He'd be making use of the royal's indoor gym once the pain and swelling subside. Seth's still not sure why Roman was doing everything he was, but he couldn't deny that he was grateful. Every kind gesture that Roman was doing was causing the cracks on walls to spread out bit by bit. And Seth didn't know how to stop it but Roman would probably find a way—the royal is a temperamental man after all, at least around Seth.

He dreams of Roman when he goes to sleep that night—the images playing in his mind drift to different scenarios with the gorgeous man. They all end, however, with him falling in the exotic Adonis's bed, whimpering, moaning and gasping in pleasure the royal brings him.

* * *

 

His eyes snap open when his door opens roughly the following morning. Dean's the first one who comes into view, fake crying about how sad he is that he's leaving. Seth rolls his eyes and sits up, he knows he's hard when his hand brushes against his cock innocently. The dreams he'd had last night…a barely contained moan slips past his lips and he takes the white pillow next to him, placing it on his lap, "Leaving already?"

Dean continues fake crying while walking towards him with Xavier in tow. "You slept right through the morning. It's noon."

Seth's eyes widen, "Really?"

"Yup," Xavier nods.

"Where's the prince?"

"Talking to Bobby. We just came to say bye. I'll miss you so much Seth," Xavier's eyes water and he hugs Seth with everything in him.

"I'm not that far, babe. You can come see me whenever you want."

"I know, it's just…" Xavier sniffles pulling away from Seth. "I'll really miss you. Don't forget about us once you get some new friends here."

"Course not. You're my bestie…even the idiot with the ginger hair."

Xavier chuckles and stands back while Dean has his moment with Seth as well. "Don't be afraid to take what you want if he keeps giving you mixed signals. Suck that dick and ride it until he can't think straight…make him think about it even when he's working. I know what I'm talking about."

Seth sputters and pushes Dean away from him. "Dean! What if he was at the door? I don't want him thinking I'll seduce him in his own house."

"But you will," Dean deadpans.

"No, I won't. Chances are I'd get my hopes up only to have them crushed again. I'm not going to put myself through that." Seth states.

"You guys are going to fuck. I know you're not going to leave this fine man's house without getting a taste of his dick. I know that. But remember, do not, I repeat, _do not_ get pregnant and have his babies. You'll make me a very disappointed dad if you do, get him to marry you first. Oh and the next time we visit, I want to know if you guys have fucked yet." Seth groans at Dean's bluntness while Xavier laughs softly. "I also want to know dick size, thickness and all that shit. Is he good in bed—cause I think he's great in bed—and his favorite positions, deal?"

"The things you say Dean."

"I know," Dean laughs with Xavier. He turns back to face Seth. "We should be leaving now. They're waiting for us outside."

"I love you, both of you. So much." Seth's voice wobbles when both his friends bring him in for a group hug. The pillow falls out of his lap, and his erection's slowly going down. His eyes water as he watches Dean and Xavier exit his room. It's about twenty minutes later that he hears the sound of a chopper outside his window. So Xavier and Dean were going back home by helicopter. He futilely tries to wipe his tears away when the door opens softly and in enters Roman.

"Are you alright?"

Seth wants to say yes but he isn't. His friends have just left him, though he'd made the decision to stay behind, it still hurts. The uncertainty of things to come causes his heart to tremble in fear. He's alone again. What if Roman wakes up tomorrow and changes his mind? What if things don't work out in Miami? What if this whole thing is a mistake? So many thoughts run through his mind, all jumbled and messed up and they do nothing to put his heart at ease. His arms automatically wrap around Roman's neck when he feels the royal's arms encircle his waist. "Please don't make me regret this," he whispers shakily against Roman's neck.

"I'll try my best not to," Roman's voice against his ear sends shivers down his spine. The response isn't the one he's hoping for but knowing that Roman is going to try settles the war going on in his mind. When they pull back, Roman wipes his tears away and grabs his knuckles, kissing them softly like he did that night in the bathroom. "Do you want anything to eat?"

"Are you going to make me something?"

Roman shakes his head and kisses his knuckles again, "I can get Masina to prepare something for you."

"Bummer," Seth fakes his disappointment. "And here I was thinking that I'm special enough for the Prince to prepare me something."

"If you want to die by food poisoning, sure."

Roman grins when Seth punches him lightly. "Are you telling me that you can't even fry an egg?"

He receives a lighthearted snort in return, "Of course I can fry eggs, but they're not as good as Masina's. So, can I get you anything?"

"Yes. Get me anything."

"Alright. I'll come back soon," Roman replies, his voice full of laughter, he leaves Seth's room and Seth falls back on the bed. He sighs contently as he stares at the elegant lights on the ceiling. Roman and him were already starting on a good page, he just hopes they'd be able to keep the peace for a little while longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiii! I'm sorry for being silent for like nearly two weeks. But I got caught up in a new read that I had to finish. It took a week, between that and school. Anyway, this is a veerrry long chapter. Hope you enjoy. And lastly, happy birthday to Daddy Roman, even if he won't see this, lol.

"What do they call these movies again?"

"Nollywood," Roman responds. They're in the den watching their third African film for the night, on a Monday. It's Seth's fault really, the brunet hadn't and still doesn't believe that Roman actually knows how to have fun. And Roman figures Seth's probably right, but he wouldn't let the man believe that he's a complete bore. Which is why they find themselves in the den, indulging in one of his hobbies—movie watching.

Both barely pay any attention to the way their bodies are touching. They're sat so close together that their bare arms are touching, Roman's in a pair of maroon silky boxers and nothing else. Seth's wearing an oversized t-shirt and Roman's Nike shorts. He doesn't own much loose clothing, and Roman had been surprised that Seth's only clothing that qualified to be called baggy were his oversized t-shirts and _two_ sweaters. Seth is going to get a few loose clothing with Manuia tomorrow though, to look more presentable when going to college on Wednesday, besides, it would be impossible for him to wear his tight jeans over the cast that's covering half his right leg.

Seth's arm brushes against his again when he laughs at something he finds funny, "He's stealing his sister-in-law's food. This isn't going to end well," Roman finds the scene funny as well especially when the man gets caught. He turns to look at Seth who's still gleaming with mirth. Roman is left in awe of the man's beauty, even with his messy brown hair, Seth looks _gorgeous._ Their eyes connect when Seth turns to look at him, that gorgeous smile still lighting up his face. Roman gets an urge to bring him closer, to drape an arm over Seth's shoulders and kiss the messy mane. But he doesn't. He gives Seth a raised eyebrow instead, laughing when the smaller man merely shrugs his shoulder before going back to the movie. "She's a princess right?"

"Yes," Roman replies, his own eyes going to the movie. "That wooden handle with the hair is called a fly-whisk, it forms part of their royal regalia."

"You seem to know a lot about their culture."

"One of my great friends and associate is Nigerian. He tries to teach me a thing or two about their culture every time I see him. But it's also refreshing to learn about other cultures and how our different cultures are interconnected," Roman finds Seth already looking at him intently. The man seems to be genuinely interested in what he has to say as if he doesn't want to miss a word Roman utters. Roman smiles, before grabbing Seth's right hand to kiss his knuckles softly. It's something he does without notice, something that's quickly becoming natural to him. "A lot other countries use the fly-whisk as part of royal regalia even us Lanuolans."

"Do you have it?"

"Yes."

"Would you…please show it to me? If you don't mind."

Roman spares Seth a quizzical glance before nodding his head, "I don't mind." His arm goes around Seth's waist, helping the injured brunet up. He guides them to the hallway before stopping at a shiny mahogany door with a gold ribbon on it. Light floods the room immediately they enter, and Roman lets go of Seth's waist, allowing him to examine the room. The room's littered with gifts and royal paraphernalia from royals and associates from all parts of the world. So many different, but equally beautiful, to Roman, items flood the room's walls. Some of the items include beadwork, paintings, swords and traditional attire belonging to the various countries. There's two built-in glass closets that display some of the items and Roman watches in amusement as Seth skips from one item to the other, a child-like fascination etching his face. It's adorable, and for a while he's taken back in time to when Tyler would have the same expression Seth's currently displaying.

"This is beautiful," Seth whispers. Roman follows his voice and his eyes settle on a portrait of a young woman wearing traditional Ndebele attire. Her hair is shaved off and traditional African beads and gold bangles adorn her shaven head and her arms including her bare upper body.

"I got that from the Ndebele people when I visited their province a while ago. You should see their traditional houses, absolutely beautiful." Roman then heads to a safe and takes out his fly-whisk before going to Seth's direction, "Here."

When Seth turns to face him, they're again in close proximity, barely an inch of space separating them. Their different scents mingle, the space between them becoming cosy. It doesn't seem to bother them though as Seth takes the fly-whisk from Roman's hands. The fly-whisk has a handle made of complete gold and tail horse hair is attached to it. Seth runs his fingers through the hair, the child-like fascination creeping up again. "Roman, this is beautiful."

"It is right?" Roman smiles looking down at the beautiful man in front of him, "In Polynesian culture, it's used as a ceremonial mark of authority. But in Lanuola, only royals carry it and the elders belonging to the royal council use it when blessing a young man transitioning from the stage of being a boy to a man."

Seth's looking up at him, his face is lit up like the sun, and it reminds Roman of Seth's friends. How the pair would give him the same look, as if Roman was their sun, but with Seth it's different. The alluring brunet's warm orbs reveal an adoration that causes Roman's heart to stutter. His own eyes roam Seth's face until they stop at rosy lips. Roman gets the urge again, he wants to join Seth's lips with his own. He wants to taste them, properly this time. But he doesn't. He moves away from Seth and goes back to the safe. He takes out a few traditional items, going back to Seth.

"This is our traditional scarf. They vary in color but for royalty, it's navy and has gold trimmings with our initials on both ends. And these are coral beads, they look like the ones they use in West Africa," he takes the fly-whisk and places the items in Seth's hands, their hands touching, sending 1000 volts of current through their bodies. Seth looks away, and Roman clears his throat before continuing in an even tone. "And this is the 'ie lavalava, we wear this on formal occasions. Family gatherings and any other celebrations. If I were in Lanuola I'd probably wear this everyday. The King is a very traditional man, never wants us to stray from our customs and who we are."

"These are really beautiful," Seth runs his hand through the turquoise 'ie lavalava before giving the items to Roman who returns them into the safe. "Tell me more about your country?"

Roman looks back at him, the man's blushing, and there was an uncertainty he'd heard in Seth's voice as he'd asked the question. Almost as if he'd been scared to ask, Roman sighs and goes to stand in front of him again. "Lanuola's beautiful Seth. We're located in the South Pacific Ocean, where the weather's usually tropical and humid. We're Samoan descendants but you know how it is with the world. There's a mixture of Tongans, Tahitians and a lot of other tribes. We even have African descendants, hence the coral beads which we inherited from West Africa. Our country's not perfect, there's a few areas that need improvement but we're a really beautiful people. We understand each other, embrace our differences and we're diverse. It's what I love most about us, our diversity."

Seth gets that look again and Roman looks away this time, quite bashful. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," there's warmth in Seth's voice. "It's just…this is the most I've heard you speak in the three days I've been living with you. It's…" Seth trails off, looking for the correct word. "It's endearing. Cute."

Seth has a point, Roman's barely spoken a lot since they've began living together. During the weekend he'd spoken a few words to the man, but Roman isn't much of a talker, really. He's not the 'keep the conversation flowing' type. But he's gotten better, he finds himself talking too much when he's around Naomi because the beautiful dark skinned woman doesn't ever shut up and pesters him until he gives in. "What do you mean _cute?"_

Seth laughs, it's a genuine hearty laugh that Roman realizes he wouldn't mind hearing for the rest of his life. He crosses his arms against his impeccable chest, giving the smaller man a straight face and a raised eyebrow. "It's a compliment. You just never talk much. You never have fun. All I've seen you do is work. You're a workaholic."

"I just enjoy my work," Roman shrugs. Seth nods his head, covering his mouth while yawning. "You're tired, let me take you to bed."

"And who told you I was tired?"

"Your face, your posture…your eyes," their eyes connect when Roman says that. Silence ensues, tension growing between the two them, there's humor in it though. Roman's lips slowly stretch into a smile, watching Seth mimic the action.

"You're an idiot."

"At least you don't look like you want to kill me like you did that day in the press conference,"

"You don't know that, I could just be waiting for the right moment."

"You couldn't possibly want the world to be rid of one of it's wonders, would you?"

Seth rolls his eyes, "You really are an arrogant asshole." Roman's laugh turns into a yawn, and Seth touches his shoulder. "You look more tired than I do. It's nearing midnight, and you're going to work tomorrow morning. You should get to bed."

Roman can't argue with that. He _is_ tired, but he _dreads_ going back to bed. Sleep isn't something that comes easily to him. His mind rarely turns off, it drifts from one thought to the other but when it does decide to switch off to allow him a few hours of sleep, he finds himself waking up not even three hours later because of the dreams. And Roman, he can't talk to anyone about it, he feels he can't. Manuia's tried to, but he doesn't know how deep the damage runs. He doesn't understand how much Tyler ruined him.

"Roman?"

"Mhm?"

"Are you okay?"

"Yes," his voice comes out hoarse and he has to clear his throat. "I'm fine. Let me take you to bed," Roman blinks his eyes rapidly to clear his blurry vision. Seth doesn't believe him, he can tell—he needs to rectify that. So he fixes his posture and blinks the emotions right out of his eyes. "I'll take you to bed now." The brunet clings to him when he carries him out of the room. He gets _that_ urge again—to join Seth's lips with his own. Seth's arms encircle him, his warm breath fans his neck, it sends delicious tingles down his back. Roman's heart thuds in his ribcage, his stomach twists in knots, Seth's _so_ close to him. He enters the brunet's room, light flooding the elegant spacious room.

"Thank you," Seth whispers when Roman places him gently on the bed. Roman looks down at the smaller man. He tries to understand it, what it is exactly about Seth that captures his attention. Yes, Seth is beautiful, so beautiful and the last time Roman took time to appreciate beauty when he saw it was with Nikki. But there's _something_ about Seth. Something that grabs his attention even when the man is doing nothing at all. Roman finds himself wanting to look into the man's soulful eyes, his hand travels on it's own accord to grip Seth's chin gently so that they're eye to eye.

Seth's eyes search his own, but Roman knows how to keep his eyes blank. He knows how not to show emotion, he's been doing it for years. There's a fear in Seth's brown orbs, an uncertainty that Roman blames himself for. He's been playing with Seth's emotions. But he can't be blamed, he can't even understand the feelings he's going through. Which is why his hand leaves Seth's face and he turns away from him, heading for the door. "Have a goodnight, Seth." He's out of the door before Seth can respond.

It's midnight when he gets beneath the comfort of his covers, and his eyes slide shut.

It's not even three hours later that he wakes up, body wet with sweat, face even wetter with tears. His room's too _dark_. He closes his eyes and regrets doing so when the images from his dreams assault him. The wails accompany the images and his hands go to his ears. This…this is what Tyler had done to him. This is how Tyler had destroyed him, "FUCK TYLER! PLEASE C-COME BACK!" He screams in anguish, begging for something he knows can never be. He's leaving the bed, padding barefoot towards the door. He needs to get rid of his pain somehow—the gym's door is barely closed when his knuckles connect with the punching bag he bought just a _month_ ago. Because the old one felt his wrath and got destroyed.

* * *

 

He wakes up knowing that the other man has left already, the watch on the bedside table says it's eight in the morning. Seth holds the blanket around his waist as he stares at the ceiling, a part of him wonders if he'd offended Roman in any way last night. The man had come to wake him when he left for work at 05:00 yesterday, but today…nothing. A sigh leaves him, maybe Roman had an important meeting and he couldn't come to bid him goodbye this morning. Besides, the man didn't owe him anything, especially not goodbyes. He's just being childish.

Today's the day he's supposed to go out with Manuia to get a few items for his first day at the new college, and the royal's bodyguard had told him they leave at ten. So Seth gets up, with a little difficulty because of his plastered leg and heads into the en-suite bathroom. He takes care of his morning routine, slower than usual because his mind keeps drifting to Roman. The man confuses him, Roman's been nothing but kind to him in the four days they have been living together, but he'd left him again last night. One minute the man's touching Seth like he wants him, and then the next he's pulling away, creating distance between the two of them in more than one way. When he lets his guard down, Seth can see his kindness, the man behind the stoic exterior but it never lasts for too long because Roman always goes back to being an unreadable mask. _He's confusing._

Seth wraps a fluffy towel around his waist and heads back into the bedroom. He lotions his body, picking out a black t-shirt and a pair of Roman's grey Nike shorts. The man _loves_ Nike and Seth had discovered that most of his sports apparel consists of the brand. The shorts are baggy on him, and are way past his knees—he looks _ridiculous_. Seth sees it when he's giving himself a once over in the full-body mirror after tying his brown mane into a ponytail. He's in the kitchen and ready for breakfast at 09:00. Yes, he took an hour getting ready as a _guy._ But between Roman stressing him out and his injury, one really can't blame him.

"Morning," he smiles when he enters the kitchen. "Need help with anything?"

Masina turns to look at him, a scowl marring her chocolate skin. "I don't want you helping me with anything while you're injured. Go to the breakfast room, I'll bring you breakfast." Seth wants to tell her he's fine and wants to help when she gently chases him out of the kitchen, "I'm serious Mr. Rollins. Roman said you need to rest your leg. He tasked me with taking care of you. I'm not going to let him down."

Sunny warmth shouldn't be spreading all over his body, but it does. Seth's heart stops for a minute at Masina's words before he melts. With joy. With adoration. With…love? Seth isn't sure, but something is definitely happening to his cardiac organ—the stupid thing. It thumps with fervor, and it doesn't help his case that his stomach's out to connive against him as well. The stupid thing keeps twisting and turning. Let's not even get started on his lungs—Seth's finding it hard to breathe. And not to mention his—fuck his whole body is betraying him and reacting to Masina's words because a part of him thinks maybe Roman _cares._

Maybe the royal cares for him just like Seth finds himself caring for Roman. Because Seth had found himself caring for Roman that night he found the man in the gym. Even when he'd convinced himself he didn't. And he hasn't stopped since, even when the royal does and says things that hurt him. And maybe it's the kind of person he is, the ones who never stop being kind even when the world works against them and gives them a reason not to.

Masina comes in with a tray filled with assorted breakfast goodies, food Seth surely can't finish alone. He misses Dean because he knows his auburn-haired friend would finish everything on his tray within ten minutes. "Thank you," he smiles when Masina comes back with another tray with a coffee pot and orange juice. Seth isn't much of an eater and chooses to eat what he thinks qualifies as a light breakfast, an omelet that tastes divine paired with fresh orange juice.

"Good morning," Manuia comes into view. Seth's expecting to see him with Bobby but the big man's alone, and he's walking _funny_. Seth wants to chuckle because he knows _exactly_ what Manuia's been up to but he's not yet close to Manuia and doesn't want to be turned into a crushed can.

"Manuia, have a good night?"

The chuckle falls off his lips unbidden when Manuia's dark skin takes on a red color. The man's _blushing._ As big as he is, Manuia's blushing and it's endearing. Kind of like it was with Roman last night, when the royal was talking about his country. "I know what you're thinking, and all I have to say is it's not what you think."

"And what was I thinking?" Manuia gets the 'I want the earth to swallow me now' expression and Seth laughs harder. "It's okay Manuia. I just didn't think you bottomed. But Bobby's just as big as you, maybe you guys share the responsibility?"

Manuia groans, "Are we really discussing my sex life?"

"Why not?" Seth shrugs, taking the last sip of his orange juice. He gets up and follows Manuia to the door. "So do you guys take turns? Or are you just a bottom?"

Manuia opens the door for him before closing it and going to the driver's side, "Why'd you wanna know?"

"Just curious. I can always ask Roman if you're chicken," he isn't but he's just teasing the man. Besides Manuia and Bobby look so in love, and he's not even asked them a single thing about their relationship.

"I…love bottoming," Manuia says looking at Seth through the rearview mirror. "Bobby's strictly a top."

"How long have you guys been together?"

"Six months," Manuia stops at a red light, his hands thumping lightly on the steering wheel. "I've only just discovered how fucking amazing it can feel to have a dick inside your ass though. I'd always associated the act with pain." Manuia clears his throat. "But with Bobby, it was hard at first, he was willing to bottom for me but I wouldn't do it because I thought I'd be hurting him. It's through his selflessness that I knew I had to sacrifice for him too. So a month ago, it was his birthday and my present for him was my hole."

Seth laughs at the last part, and Manuia joins in on it. "You're crazy."

"What? I'm just telling it like it is."

"As long as you're happy. I mean that's what matters right?"

"One hundred percent," Manuia says. They finally get to their first stop. Manuia gets out of the driver's side and goes to open the backdoor for Seth. They enter the mall and Seth notices that the man heads straight for a designer store. Roman didn't discuss how much they'd be spending on him, but Seth doesn't like owing people things. If they're shopping at expensive stores then how would he be able to pay Roman back? He doesn't want to owe anyone money, especially Roman. He grabs Manuia's arm before they can enter the Ralph Lauren store, "What is it?"

Seth pulls Manuia aside, they're already getting attention from a couple of people passing them. In fact they'd received attention the minute they stepped foot into the busy mall but Seth hadn't thought much of it. It's only when a click of someone's phone flashes in his face that he realizes why. Manuia takes it in stride and ignores the person snapping the picture, so Seth decides to do the same. But didn't these people have something better to do with their lives? Weren't they over the whole prostitution thing? Couldn't they focus on the latest gossip or something?

"Manuia, please. I know I won't be able to pay back the prince if we enter this store. Can we go to a cheaper one where normal people shop, please?"

Manuia shakes his head, already heading inside the store. "No can do, Seth. Roman instructed me to take you to the stores that he shops at, and this is one of them. And who told you he wanted you to pay him back?"

"I'll _have_ to pay him back Manuia. I don't like feeling indebted to people. I _don't_ want to owe Roman anything," Seth whispers dejectedly, while walking behind Manuia.

Manuia turns to face him, pausing while considering Seth carefully. "I think I know what this is about. Your first impression of Roman isn't who he is. He's not some narcissist who'll use this against you one day. Just…give him the benefit of the doubt. He'll surprise you."

"I – I… it's not like that," Seth stammers. Manuia gives him a raised eyebrow, it's similar to the one Roman gives him and Seth realizes how the two almost act the same way. It's just Manuia's kinder, and has a warmth about him. Roman has it also, Seth's seen it once or twice, but he can also be as stoic as a mannequin. "I just don't like owing anyone anything."

"You're not owing anyone anything. You're spending your boss's cash, he's given you permission to indulge in his cash. He wants you to splash it on whatever you want. It's what the boss wants, you can't go against his orders."

Seth knows when he's fighting a losing fight, so he surrenders and grabs the first expensive jeans he sees.

***

It's well past three when they finally make it back to Roman's mansion. Manuia asks Masina to help him carry the bags, and they're _a lot._ Manuia took him to store after store, helping him choose new clothing, including designer jeans that Seth just knows will fit his toned body snugly once he gets rid of the ugly cast covering his leg. And he now has a new phone, an iPhone something, apparently it's the latest one. When he'd seen the total of everything they'd purchased, he'd gasped in horror wanting to return a few items. But Manuia had to him to 'relax', they'd spent far lower than what Roman had approved. Not even ten percent according to Manuia.

"Are you hungry?"

Seth looks up from his new phone, "No." he tells Manuia who's stood just outside his door. When had the big man even opened his door? "I'm still trying to digest the $1000 meal I ate about two hours ago. It's taking quite a while though, how about you ask me that question in a week's time?"

"Haha, very funny." Manuia rolls his eyes. "Do you wanna know what makes a rich man happy?" Manuia receives a shrug in return. "When you spend his money. That makes a rich man very, _very_ happy."

"It doesn't make it any less weird or scary for me though."

"You'll get used to it."

Seth doubts it but he says nothing. Manuia leaves him after a while, apparently Bobby needs him somewhere. Probably in his bedroom, but Seth says nothing, and instead allows the man to leave. He decides to prepare everything he'll need for tomorrow. He's still nervous about this move, about college and meeting new people. Roman had of course gotten him into one of the best colleges in Miami, and he wonders how the kids are. McMahon college is an expensive one and there's bound to be snotty brats who think they own the world because their mommies and daddies have money. He's suddenly grateful that Roman gave Manuia that card. With how cheap some if his old clothes are, he'd no doubt have ended up being embarrassed by a bunch of _kids._ Even if he only has his classes three days a week, chances are there'd be one or two brats who'd have made fun of him.

Yes, he's 29. Yes, people's opinions of him still affect him. Because he's still human, and he has feelings, and being made fun of isn't exactly fun…no matter what the age. He's just finished everything when his phone rings, it's a video call from Dean. Seth settles on his bed and accepts the call. A smile lights up his face when he spots Dean and Xavier's faces. "You guys fucked yet?" is Dean's first question.

Seth rolls his eyes and greets a giggling Xavier instead, "Xav, I miss you babe. How's everything in Tampa?"

Dean speaks up before Xavier can say anything. "Seth, come oooonnn! Give me something. Is he great in bed? What does his dick look like? Is he thick? _Please give me something!"_

"I don't know Dean. Why don't you ask him when you come over this weekend? I'm not sleeping with him."

"But you will."

"Look, I don't think so. The man's married to his work. Do you really think he has time for sex? I bet he doesn't even jerk off like most guys."

"I think he does," Dean says, mischievousness filling his voice. "I think he beats his meats off while thinking about you…"

Xavier's giggles increase rapidly, and Seth rolls his eyes again. What's happened to Xavier? The younger man's been away from him for three days and he's already changing. Isn't he supposed to be the innocent mother hen who blushes beet red at topics about sex. Seth looks at the dark skinned man, the man is _glowing._ Seriously, Seth's always seen the dark skinned man's beauty but this time there's _more_ to it. "What's up with you Xav? Has Randy increased your prescription of vitamin D?"

And there it is—that blush that Xavier can't help but get when they're talking about sex. Xavier looks between Dean and then Seth before looking back at Dean. "Seth, no! W-what, you're embarrassing m-me." The curly-haired man stammers.

"He's gaining a bit too, I don't know what Randy's doing to him." Dean pipes in lightheartedly.

"Ugh,"

Seth and Dean laugh at Xavier's expense. They stop when Xavier tears up, threatening to leave and threatening not to join Dean in coming to Miami this weekend. They both apologize and Xavier goes back to being happy again, the whole thing leaves Seth perplexed but he says nothing. Seth then tells them about how he's loving Miami so far and about his clothes and the new phone. He shows them a few of the items he bought with Manuia, before Dean and Xavier tell him about their schedules and the latest gossip in Tampa. The rest of the call is spent gossiping about Roman, with Dean pestering Seth with question after question.

"Has he tried to you know, _kiss_ you again?"

"No, Dean." Seth sighs.

"Okay, but how is he? Is he like a gentleman, like my Toni is, or is he a cold hearted 'I'm only nice twice a week' bastard, like Randy is?"

"Hey!" Xavier scowls, "That's not true, Seth tell him Randy isn't like that."

"My comments are strictly reserved," Seth grins. "And I'm not sure, Dean. Like I told y'all before, the man can be really kind when he wants to be. But he's just…Roman most of the time."

"Roman?"

"I don't know what else to say, Dean." Seth says biting on his bottom lip. "How do you describe someone who rarely shows emotion? He's a robot? A robot who's obsessed with his work? A robot who loves his country and enjoys foreign films? A robot who knows how to speak ten different languages?" Seth's voice grows softer and he isn't even talking to his friends anymore. The thoughts about all he's learned about Roman in their four days of living together comes to mind. His heart is melting again. With adoration for a big man who rarely shows emotion, and changes like a switch. His heart melts for a big man whose eyes sparkle when talking about things he is passionate about. His heart melts for the giant of a man who keeps Donald Duck plasters in his first aid kit. "He's just…Roman."

"I hope you're not falling in love with that man, Seth." Dean says in a serious tone. "You haven't even had his dick, and you're already getting these gaga eyes talking about him. It's not how it works, follow the rules."

"I'm not in love with him," Seth scoffs, his attention going back to his friends. He tries to justify himself when Dean and Xavier give him disbelieving looks, "I'm not going to fall in love with him. I'm just admiring his traits."

"If you say so."

Their conversation continues for about another ten minutes, and they sort out Xavier and Dean's arrival for the weekend. Seth bids them farewell, watching his friends disappear when Dean ends the call. He notes that he spoke to Dean and Xavier for nearly thirty minutes. It still doesn't feel like enough time, it'll never be enough time when it comes to those two. They're his best friends, they're his strength when he's weak. They're his pillars of support.

Seth decides to freshen up in preparation for supper, it's just after five, and if he's correct, Roman should be on his way back home now. Seth pauses at that, Roman's house is becoming his home. It's only been four days and the other man's house is already becoming his home, he even knows when he should be expecting Roman to come back. _Look at your life,_ he thinks lightly, a grin pulling at his lips.

After his bath, Seth slips on a fresh oversized t-shirt and Roman's shorts. Yes, he has his own now but he'll wear Roman's, they smell like him, and well Seth, he _loves_ smelling like Roman. The royal's scent is exotic, and manly, and Seth gets _beautiful_ dreams when he goes to bed wearing the bigger man's shorts. That's a lie, the _beautiful_ dreams began a while ago but they're that much better when he's wearing Roman's shorts.

It's thirty minutes after six when Roman finally enters the house. Seth is in the kitchen with Masina when he hears the door opening, and _his_ scent assaults him. Seth's drawn to it, just like he's drawn to the owner of the powerful scent. His heart and lungs stop working with each step he hears trailing towards the kitchen. He gets the urge to go hug Roman when the man finally appears. The urge gets stronger, he wants to wrap his arms around Roman's neck and kiss him silly. He doesn't. He admires instead.

Roman is the definition of classy power in a white dress shirt with the last two buttons undone. He's in a pair of formfitting maroon formal pants and a diamond watch wraps his left wrist perfectly. A few hair strands have slipped out of his low bun making him look like a god. An Adonis sex god. "Family," Roman greets them, one hand carrying his briefcase while the other remains in his pants pocket.

As is the usual case with Masina when she's around Roman and Manuia, she greets Roman in Samoan and says a few words in the language. Seth doesn't understand and keeps his gaze on Roman, who returns the favor. The royal is talking to Masina but he looks at Seth, intensely, Seth isn't sure what the look means but he _doesn't_ look away. "Did you have a good day, Seth?" Roman asks him when Masina goes into the dining room.

"Y-yes," Seth stutters. Roman does what he does best. He gives him the famous raised eyebrow, "Yes." Seth says more clearer this time. "Thank you…for the clothes and other things."

Roman nods his head, a smile playing on his lips. "It's a pleasure," he's outside the door when he speaks up again, "I must say I'm disappointed though."

"W-why?" the damn stutter has returned.

"You didn't even spend a tenth of what I wanted you too when you deserved it," Roman looks at him from the doorway. "People like you deserve the world, Seth Rollins." Seth's left dumbfounded as the man, again, doesn't give him a chance to respond before he leaves. The rich bastard.

* * *

 

Seth's grateful when he first lecture of the day finally finishes. He grabs his books and laptop, placing the items in his bag. He has another lecture in an hour's time for yet another two hours before he's allowed to go home. The lecturer, Mr. Langston, smiles at him on his way out. Seth returns it, awkwardly though, the man had been looking at him throughout his entire lecture, with his goggly glasses that are far too big on his mousy face.

Seth had pretended to not see the stares, it's not like every other person inside the lecture hall hadn't been staring at him as well. In fact the stares had begun immediately Roman opened his door for him and walked him with his arm around Seth's waist to his first class. Seth's still surprised that Roman actually returned home from work to escort him to college. The royal had said he couldn't miss Seth's first day, to which had Seth rolled his eyes, because he isn't a kid.

Anyway, all eyes had been on them immediately they left the Bentley. Some eyes had been awestruck, some had been jealous and some were curious. A part of Seth had felt satisfaction at the looks they'd received, his mind screaming a lot of things at the onlookers. Things like, yes hot Adonis dude is holding _him_ like he's the most valuable thing on earth. Things like, yes hot Adonis dude is walking _him_ to class. And yes, hot Adonis dude is with _him._ Childish, he knows.

He buys a light meal with the debit card Roman gave him earlier that day and settles on one of the comfy chairs at the coffee shop/bookstore he's at. He'd just wait here until the clock hit three o'clock for his last class. Roman and Manuia would pass on their way here from work to collect him. Thinking about Roman automatically brings a smile to his face. After the man had escorted him to his class, he'd still sent him a message wishing him a great day on his first day at college.

Seth sighs as he responds mindlessly to a text from Dean. Roman still confuses him. All the understated gestures coming from the man are causing his walls to break down and it _terrifies_ him. It terrifies him how he's feeling all these different emotions for a man who hardly shows him what he's feeling. A part of him feels like he's giving his heart to someone who wants no part of it. Which is funny because Roman _didn't_ ask for his heart to begin with but his cardiovascular organ has already decided that it wants a man who could very well hurt him in the end. The stupid organ.

He's finished his lunch by 02:40, and so decides to trek back to college for his final lecture. He arrives there ten minutes later and finds the door closed. The clock hits three but there's still no sign of the lecturer or any other students. Instead a few students take his pictures like they did earlier and some of the bastards unashamedly look at him. He checks his phone to make sure he's got the right lecture hall and yes, he's waiting outside the correct class. His dumb side tells him to peek through the windows even though he knows no one's in the class.

An internal debate ensues within him, when his phone reveals that it's ten minutes after three. He wants to call Manuia and ask the man to fetch him. He scrolls down to find Manuia's name, and bites on his bottom lip while thinking about what to do. When they'd dropped him off at noon, Roman had told Seth that he would be attending a meeting with a few world leaders and UN representatives to discuss the Ebola outbreak in the DRC. Seth knows the meeting is a serious one and Manuia had left with Roman for it, he can't possibly disrupt their meeting because he wants to go home.

"You look like you need some rescuing."

The husky voice startles him out of his thoughts. Seth looks up and sees a guy with a scruffy beard and dark brown hair. The man's wearing loose fitting whitewash jeans and a black band tank top and finishes his look with one of those bohemian looking scarfs. The man honestly reminds Seth of a hipster. "Excuse me?" he asks after a while. His voice reveals his embarrassment, he'd stared at the guy far longer than he should've.

"Your face…" the guy speaks up again. "You look like you want to get out of here."

The guy's hit the nail on the head, Seth _desperately_ wants to leave this place. His lecturer is not here and he has to deal with a bunch of immature college kids giving him various expressions that he's too lazy to read and on top of that he has to deal with their lack of respect for his privacy. The damn brats keep snapping his pictures like he belongs to that plastic surgery family or something.

"Look I can help you out if you want to. There's a really good burger joint I know a distance away from here. It's in a chill area, so you won't need to worry about all of this…" scruffy guy nods his head towards some of the students.

Seth raises an eyebrow (Roman's expressions are already rubbing up on him.) "I don't even know you." He says.

"I'm Elias."

This _Elias_ says that as if it should be explanation enough. As if only his name should get Seth to trust him. Seth's not a fool though, he looks into the man's brown eyes and tries to understand, if only a bit. The man's eyes are rich and warm but he can see a mischievousness in them as well. The guy overall gives off good vibes, and Seth thinks maybe he can trust the guy…only for today though. "And why should I trust you?" he asks.

"Because I'm a good guy. Ask anyone on campus. There's a reason they all choose to walk with Elias."

Seth rolls his eyes at that, a small smile playing on his lips. "I don't exactly see anyone walking with Elias at the moment."

"That's because I chased them away," Elias responds. "The only person I want walking with Elias at the moment is standing right in front of me."

That catches Seth off guard. He's silent for a while looking at the smiling bigger man, "Are you…are you _flirting_ with me?"

"I don't know, am I?" Elias laughs when Seth groans, giving him the eye roll again. "Look, like I said, I know we just met but you really look like you need some rescuing so I can help you man. I'll take you out, we'll have some great food over a great conversation. It's a winning deal for everyone."

The internal debate ensues again, Seth doesn't think his lecturer is coming. That much was obvious when not even one student came to join him outside the class. And he can't call Manuia because the man's probably with Roman. He's not sure about Bobby's schedule but the man could also be busy with something important somewhere. The best choice to him seems like going out with this Elias. He'd return just before five so that he'd go home with Roman and Manuia.

"Fine," he sighs once he's sure of his decision. "Just…have me back here by five."

"I can drive you home after," Elias offers.

"Can't," Seth declines. "I have someone fetching me so you'll have to bring me back here."

"If that's what you want."

Seth gives Elias a wordless response by nodding his head. The other man insists on carrying his bag saying he won't look like a jackass by allowing an injured Seth to carry his heavy bag when he can do it for him. So Seth gives him the bag hesitantly and they stride towards Elias's car.

The burger joint Elias takes him to is thirty minutes away from McMahon college. And the bigger man had been right about the place being in a chill area. The people mind their own business, clearly too focused on their food. Seth isn't sure how much time has passed with him just talking to Elias. They move from one topic to the next as the hipster man stuffs him full with burgers and beer. When he'd protested after his second burger, Elias had told him not to worry. The hipster man apparently works here.

"So why were they taking your pictures. Are you some famous person or some shit?" Elias asks while looking at Seth. They're sat at one of the tables in a cosy corner where no one can really see them.

"It's a long story," Seth hopes his voice is loud enough for Elias to hear. The pub and grill has slowly been filling up with people. But they still pay no mind to him, and Seth finds that refreshing.

"But are you like famous or shit?"

"I don't know, " Seth laughs. "Everyone seems to think I am."

"Not everyone. I didn't even know you were famous during Langston's lecture. I only figured you were new because if I'd seen your beautiful face around campus before then I would've approached you long ago. I still don't even know what you're famous for."

Seth plays with the fries on his plate. "I'm not famous, I just have people who love taking pictures of me. And I have people who love minding my business."

Elias bursts into hearty laughter, ugly tears leaving his eyes. A few eyes peek at them because of the commotion but it's nothing serious and these people are kinder and respect privacy because no one snaps pictures of him and Elias. "So it's like that, huh?" Elias asks, when his laughter dies down a bit.

"It is," Seth agrees, finding Elias's grin infectious.

Elias looks at the bar area before looking back at Seth. "It's happy hour, you want me to get you some more booze?"

"I'm good." Seth smiles.

"Alright," Elias gets up and looks at the area of the pub and grill where there's a stage. "It's karaoke night too. I'm gone sing something for you. We can't have a deity as gorgeous as you leaving this place without being serenaded."

Seth rolls his eyes and chugs down his beer. The man's been flirting with him since he met him. He won't deny that Elias is good looking, and that he has a body to die for. And maybe there is a tiny bit in him that's attracted to the man because Elias is honestly a great guy. It doesn't mean Seth will entertain his less than subtle advancements though. His heart already beats for someone else.

He looks up when a couple of hands clap. Elias takes center attention on the stage a little distance away from their table. The man is seated on a stool, and a guitar rests on his lap. He adjusts the microphone with one hand and taps on it before speaking, "Hello everyone!" The hands become louder, and a couple of wolf whistles sound in the restaurant. Seth smiles when Elias's lips stretch into a grin. These people clearly love him, and they clearly 'walk' with him too. "Thank you, thank you." Elias says. His gaze goes to Seth as he says, "As most of you know, my name is —"

"ELIAS!" the crowd chants. Seth grins while taking another sip of his beer. The crowd loves this man. He doesn't blame them though, Elias exudes a kind aura. Their eyes connect and Seth lifts his beer bottle up, saluting him.

"Yes. And the song I've chosen tonight, I'd like to dedicate to the gorgeous brunet sitting on one of the tables near the corner. I met him today y'all but I think God is showing me a sign. His name is Seth Rollins, and maybe you'll help me convince him to allow me to take him on a date sometime?"

The crowd cheers again when Elias points at him. Seth's cheeks redden and he covers his face in embarrassment. The sound of a guitar reaches his ears, and Seth gasps at how good Elias actually sounds when he begins singing. Seth recognizes the song immediately, it's James Blunt's 'You're Beautiful'. His heart's beating hard inside his chest, and he finds himself helpless as the grin tugging at his lips stretches wider and wider.

So many eyes look at him, giving him that 'aww, you're so lucky' expression and Seth blushes deciding to keep his gaze on the man currently serenading him. The applause Elias receives when the song's done is deafening and Seth joins in on the clapping as well. Elias leaves the stage, disappearing from view. Seth looks away when the people's eyes settle on him again. This time he settles on familiar brown eyes.

His entire body literally freezes and the whole world falls away. Leaving just him and the man whose eyes burn with anger—even with the distance between them, Seth can see it, he can _feel_ it. The look on the other man's face causes his heart to tremble in fear for some reason. It takes him back to that night Roman came to his apartment. Seth's heart is beating so hard he feels like it might combust any minute. His hands shake, and he wants to look away. He doesn't like the look on Roman's face, and he really wants to turn away. But he can't, not when Roman's powerful strides trail towards him.

Seth doesn't know what he's expecting the man to say or do but he isn't expecting Roman to downright ignore him and grab his bag from the chair opposite from him. Once the royal has his bag, he turns to leave, without uttering a single word to Seth. The act hurts, but Seth decides now's not the time to dwell on his feelings. He doesn't need to be a genius to know that he has to follow Roman. He struggles to get up and follows the other man wordlessly outside the pub and grill.

"Seth!" Roman's already opened the door for him when Elias shows up. Roman goes to the other side of the door, wordlessly. It's probably unwise, but Seth stands outside the car to hear what Elias has to say. "I didn't get your number." The man heaves.

"I probably shouldn't," Seth whispers.

" _Please."_

Seth looks back at the opened car, Roman sits at the backseat staring straight ahead with a clenched jaw. The brunet sighs and makes up his mind, "Fine."

He gets in the car after he's given Elias his number. Manuia begins the drive back home. "Evening." Seth is greeting both men but Roman remains silent, not even looking in his direction. Manuia returns the greeting but the atmosphere in the spacey Bentley is suffocating, there's an undeniable tension.

"How was work?"

It's Manuia who responds again and silence from Roman. Seth doesn't know what to do. How Roman's behaving hurts him but he decides not to address it. Not now. Manuia gives a sympathetic glance from the rearview mirror and Seth tries for a smile that ends up coming out stilted. Manuia turns on the radio, humming along softly to the songs playing. Seth can tell he's trying to lessen the tension and he's grateful for it.

But it still does nothing to calm his quivering heart. Even with the distance the royal's created between them in the car, Seth can still feel Roman's anger—it rolls off of him in harsh waves. Dread fills him when he thinks about home. What would Roman say when they got there? What would he do? An audible sigh slips past his lips as he leans his head against the window and closes his eyes. Couldn't they have kept the peace a little while longer?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was sad when I wrote this so it's only fair that I share my pain with you, LOL. But this is quite angsty, so just know!

They get home an hour and thirty minutes later, and Roman's never left the car quicker. He grabs their bags and is out of the car in the blink of an eye. He's feeling a lot of different emotions, and a part of him is too scared to address what they mean. Anger is the most prominent, his hands still shake from wanting to break something. And then there's hurt. There's fear. And also betrayal.

The cold breeze assaults him immediately he steps out of the car but it does nothing to calm him down. Roman finds himself feeling far too hot, he pulls at the tie around his neck to lessen the stifling feeling. The last time he felt as if heart was being ripped apart was ten years ago. He felt it again today. He _still_ feels it. He'd gone with Manuia to collect Seth from college only to find no trace of him. And then Manuia and him had spent nearly an hour looking for the man on campus. And then they'd tried calling Seth whose phone went unanswered. Manuia had finally tracked him through his phone to a location thirty minutes away from McMahon college.

They got to the location, and Roman had gone inside the pub and grill alone while Manuia had remained in the car. He'd spent about a minute being ogled by men and women he had no interest in until his eye had finally landed on Seth. The man hadn't even noticed him as he sat in a cozy corner of the restaurant with a man with long brown hair and a thick scruffy beard. Roman still isn't sure what had made him sit at the club for nearly fifteen minutes observing the two. He'd ordered whiskey and had just…sat there. Watching Seth interact with another man while his heart clenched and unclenched painfully.

He hadn't done anything when the man laughed and tucked a strand of hair behind Seth's ear. He hadn't done anything when he'd watched the two laugh and interact like old friends or…lovers. He'd done nothing but watched when the man received cheers from the crowd, as he talked on and on about Seth and wanting to take him on a date. He'd watched Seth blush and smile, while looking at the man serenading him. His heart had long felt like it was being ripped apart while watching the whole scene unfold in front of him. The anger he'd felt when Seth's eye had finally caught his—how the brunet had froze as if he'd been caught doing something wrong.

"Roman…" He's already at the front door when Manuia calls him. Roman looks back at him and gives him a raised eyebrow.

"What is it?" his voice doesn't sound like his own. The anger in it frightens him. What is Seth doing to him? His bodyguard gives him a look, before he tells him that they need to talk in Samoan. "Now?" he asks because he isn't in the mood for any light talks with the man today. All he wants to do is talk to Seth. All he wants to do is ask the man of his intentions when he decided to stay in Miami. His hand tightens around the bags he's carrying and he releases a long exhale before going back to Manuia. He passes a quiet brunet who isn't meeting his eye.

"Don't let this be like that night. Go to bed, you'll talk to him tomorrow." Manuia says when they're in close proximity.

"Are you telling me what to do Manuia?"

Manuia nods his head and folds his arms across his chest, "I'm going to do no such thing Manuia! This…this selfish _bastard_ had us looking for him for over an _hour_ and what do I find when I get to that restaurant? He's having the time of his life Manuia! He's with another man having the time of his life with no inten—"

"Calm down!" Manuia grips his shoulders when Roman's voice raises by the minute.

"I AM CALM!" Roman snaps.

Manuia grips his face, "Calm down, Roman. Don't let your emotions control you." Roman looks at him through blurry eyes before Manuia disappears from him as he closes his eyes. He feels worse than he did when he was in Seth's apartment a week ago. Because his heart's telling him that seeing Seth like he did at that restaurant is somehow worse than when he'd met him because of a prostitution scandal. "Look at me," Manuia's voice is softer this time. Roman obeys the instruction, opening his eyes to look at his bodyguard. "I know you. You're too angry. You want to talk to him but you'll say things you'll regret. Things that will hurt him if you say anything now. Go to bed."

Manuia's right, Roman knows he is. He knows the venom his mouth can spew when he's angry and tonight…the feelings he has are worse than anger. He's hurt by Seth's actions. And a dark part of him wants to hurt the man just as bad. He wants to feel the satisfaction of knowing that he isn't the only one whose heart feels like it's cracking into a million pieces. But he needs to obey Manuia's instruction. Because a much bigger part of him _doesn't_ want to hurt Seth. Because he somehow feels that hurting the man would hurt him too. They've been doing so well. He wants to keep the peace.

"You're right," he says after a while. Manuia releases his face and steps away from him.

"You're going to go straight to bed?"

"Yes," he replies evenly.

Manuia pats his shoulder and walks past him, giving Seth a warm, "Goodnight."

Roman walks towards the front door, hearing Seth's silent footsteps trail behind him. His hand shakes as he maneuvers the key into the keyhole to open the door. There's still tension between him and Seth, one can slice through it with a knife. Light floods the entryway when he enters. The door closes once Seth has entered after him. Roman decides to follow Manuia's instruction without delay lest he say something he'll regret. His mind and emotions are so messed up that he doesn't even think to tell Seth goodnight.

A hand grips his arm before he can climb the stairs making his body tense. He doesn't know what Seth wants from him and tries to control his feelings because his mind keeps taking him to that fucking pub and grill. The images still play vividly in front of him. Seth and the man talking. The man serenading Seth. Seth giving the fucking man his number, right there in front of him. The work that Manuia has done is slowly becoming futile—his emotions are taking over again. And he has no way of stopping them.

Roman turns to face Seth, eyebrow raised, while his jaw clenches so tight he feels he might break his teeth. Seth doesn't say anything, he looks up at him, a myriad of emotions swimming in his brown pools. Roman can't read them all at once, he doesn't want to. He doesn't want anything to do with Seth at the moment. But Seth's hands are moving from his arm to grip the front of his suit jacket. The brunet's hands clutch his suit jacket, a desperation in the hold. Roman's eyes flutter shut when Seth rests his head against his chest. His cracking heart is beating fast against his ribcage, Seth can probably hear it but he has no way of controlling it.

He opens his eyes when Seth pulls away from him and looks up at him. His vision is blurred again and he can't really see clearly but feels Seth's hands caress his bearded cheeks. Roman is drawn to the touch. He groans when Seth's lips brush lightly against his. Roman doesn't reciprocate. Even when Seth tries to deepen it—the sounds leaving his lips begging. His right hand firmly grips the bags he's holding while the left one hangs limply at his sides.

" _I didn't get your number_ "

The words of the man at the restaurant play in his mind—taunting him. Seth had given another _man_ his number. Even if Seth's kissing him now. Who's to say he won't leave tomorrow? Who's to say Seth won't fall for that man? Or any other man for that matter? Roman had seen how the two had looked at each other. How they'd connected. The thought startles him out of his stupor. If he's feeling this hurt by Seth now, how much more will it hurt if he allows himself to explore his feelings for the man? This is why he doesn't do feelings. Roman pushes Seth away, much rougher than he intended. There's confusion and hurt in doe eyes as they look at him. Roman can't read it though, much too focused on his own volatile emotions.

He drops their bags on the ground and heads into the kitchen where the set of car keys hang on a wooden rack on the wall. He grabs the first available key and heads back into the entryway. He finds Seth still rooted to the same spot, the man's eyes meeting his when he appears. Roman's out of the door before Seth can say anything. It turns out that the car key belongs to his Lexus. He gets in the car and drives off with no destination in mind, except that he needs to get as far away from Seth as possible.

* * *

 

Seth perks up at the sound of the front door opening, thinking maybe he's finally returned. Disappointment threatens to drown him when Masina appears, a smile on her face when she sees him seated on the couch. It's four in the morning and Roman still hasn't returned. Seth hasn't slept since yesterday, he'd tried to, after Roman had left. He'd told himself he wasn't going to stress over that bastard of a man—Roman had gotten angry about him not telling them about his whereabouts only for him to disappear to god knows where without saying where he was going.

Granted, Roman did have a right to be angry. Especially after Seth had realized how long he'd stayed at that restaurant with Elias. He hadn't even seen the number of missed calls both Manuia and Roman had left him. Had the man given him a chance, Seth would've apologized but Roman had pushed him away again. Seth had tried to open up, he'd kissed Roman because he'd thought the man wanted him. He'd seen it in his eyes, and last night had been the most vulnerable Seth had seen Roman. He could see every emotion in the man's eyes, and he'd tried to reassure. _Calm down I_ _want_ _you_ , his heart kept repeating over and over again to a man who'd rejected him in the end.

"Don't you have classes this morning?"

Seth blinks his teary eyes and gives Masina a small smile, "Uh…no. I-I don't have classes today."

"Is everything okay?"

_No. Everything's a mess._ "Yes,"

He tries his hardest not to fidget as Masina examines him. He's a mess and he knows it, he's still wearing yesterday's clothes and his hair faces every direction untidily. Masina's the type to mind her own business so she merely nods and heads for the stairs. Seth stares at his phone, he hasn't sent Roman any messages asking him about his whereabouts but he's tempted to. His mind keeps battling with his heart. His heart tells him to at least text the man to ask if he's okay but his mind's telling him no. He can't afford to be the only one who cares. If Roman doesn't care enough to call or text then he won't too.

"Did Roman come home last night?" Masina asks when she comes back not even five minutes after she left for the stairs.

"Uh…I-I," Seth stammers. The question's caught him off guard. Why is Masina asking? Does she know that something happened between the two of them? "I don't know."

A disbelieving look etches on Masina's features, the dark skinned woman doesn't believe him. Her dark eyes reveal her worry, guilt plagues Seth and he looks away. "That's strange. He usually tells me when he won't be spending the night at home—and that happens rarely. His bed's made up, I know I made it because he can't tell the beginning from the end when he does it himself. It's like he didn't even step foot inside his room."

Seth doesn't know why Masina's telling him all these things. He doesn't want to hear how he drove the man out of his own house. "I really don't know Masina," he whispers.

"It's alright. I'll ask Manuia when he comes through later." Masina says softly. "I still have to prepare breakfast, you're quite early though. Do you know what you want for breakfast?"

"I'm not hungry."

"You need to eat, even a light breakfast will do."

"Masina, please. I'm not hungry, if I do get hungry then I'll make myself something a little later on."

"No. If you're hungry you'll call me. Like I told you before, Roman doesn't want you doing anything while you're injured. He stressed how important it is that you rest. So feel free to tell me later on when you want something."

Seth nods his head blindly , watching the woman head for the kitchen. He readjusts himself on the couch so that he's laying on his side. The small knitted blanket that he got as a present from Xavier covers his body until only his brown mane peeks out. Masina's words make his eyes water. The same man who's showed him how caring he can be just hurt him again. But this time Seth feels like he hurt Roman too. They hadn't even said any words last night but they'd somehow ended up hurting each other. It's a rollercoaster with them.

He wakes up to the feel of someone gently nudging his leg. Seth brings the blanket just below his eyes, meeting Manuia's brown pools that sparkle in curiosity and worry. "Hey," Manuia speaks softly, crouched in front of him.

"Hey," Seth croaks.

"Roman isn't here. He didn't send me a message either, did he tell you anything?"

Seth shakes his head no, his eyebrows knitting together in a frown. "I don't where he is."

Manuia gets all investigative as he searches Seth's eyes. He seems to know what happened because he sighs while rubbing his face before looking back at Seth. "What did he do?"

"Nothing," Seth shakes his head.

"What'd he do Seth?"

"Nothing," Seth repeats.

"Did he say anything?"

Again Seth shakes his head no. He sits up on the couch, allowing Manuia to sit beside him. He grabs for his phone and checks his messages. There's a message from a number he doesn't recognize. His hands shake as he unlocks his phone and reads the message. It's from Elias. He wants to meet up because they don't have classes on Thursdays. The message says he wants to act as Seth's tourist guide, and Seth would snort if his heart didn't feel like it was being trampled on. He ignores the message, knowing very well the other man will get the read receipt but he can't bring himself to care.

There's one message from Dean, a call from Xavier and two calls from Kofi. He ignores all of them, the one person who he desperately wants to hear from has said nothing, sent nothing—just…silence. He looks back to Manuia and tries to keep his voice even as he asks, "Shouldn't you be going to work? To see if he's there?"

"It's nearing nine in the morning Seth. Roman's usually long arrived by that time. I came here to ask you because I got a call from his PA. He has a meeting in ten minutes and he hasn't pitched at work when he'd usually have arrived at six, his earliest time being five. He's not answering his calls, isn't responding to messages." Manuia gives him a curious glance. "Masina said that it looks like he didn't sleep at home. I know for a fact that I brought you two here. What happened Seth?"

"I kissed him," a nonchalant shrug accompanies the response.

"Oh, Seth…" he's already breaking down when Manuia says the words. The tears fall when Manuia hugs him close. "What did he do?"

"H-He left. It's my fault, I-I should've let him go but I grabbed his arm. A-And I kissed him. I-I thought he wanted me Manuia…" Seth trails off, his voice cracking. His tears fall without restriction and he's finding it hard to breathe. He's falling for a man who constantly pushes him away. He's falling for a man who repeatedly stomps on his heart. "Guess I-I was wrong. He l-left without saying a word. He pushed me away and left without the slightest hesitation."

"I'll find him," Manuia cooes gently. He rubs on a crying Seth's back, telling Masina not to worry with his eyes when Seth's cries draw her out of the kitchen. "I'll find him for you and I'll speak to him. I don't doubt that he feels something for you but Roman's a broken man Seth. Men like Roman are afraid of heights, they're even more terrified of falling. Roman hasn't had a relationship in three years, I doubt I can even call it that. The woman didn't even last one month. I'm not saying this to discourage you but I want you to know you're dealing with a broken man. And it's not your duty to fix him."

"I-I want him," Seth whispers against Manuia's ear.

"Are you sure? I'm not talking against Roman but there's a million other guys. From what I gathered you met someone last night. You can go for him. You don't even know if you'll be able to handle someone like Roman."

"I don't care," Seth pulls away from Manuia, wiping his tears away. His voice is shaky as he continues, "I want him, if he'll have me then I want him."

Manuia shakes his head, smiling sadly. "I'll find him for you. I'll go right now."

"T-Thank you," Manuia brings him in for another hug that Seth accepts. He clings to the big man, welcoming the comforting embrace wholeheartedly before allowing Manuia to pull back. The man is already on his feet and walking away from him when he comes back to place a gentle kiss on his head before walking away again.

Seth grabs his phone, there's still nothing from Roman. The tears are still heavy on his eyelids, and he bites on his bottom lip to keep them at bay. They'd been doing so well. Seth's been letting his guard down and allowing himself to fall for a man who's now tearing everything they built in the past six days apart. When the tears fall again, he doesn't try to stop them.

* * *

 

He knows who's stood outside his office door even before the person can speak up. Manuia's scent invades his nostrils, and aside from that, the man is the only one who can ever find him whenever he pulls the disappearing act. It's nine o'clock in the evening and Roman knows the other man must be pissed. He hasn't been home in thirteen hours. He'd spent five hours driving without a destination in mind, and he found himself in Tampa—the place where he first met Seth.

Roman doesn't remember much about that day at Lakefield park. He remembers that he'd gone to Tampa for space—a breather. He'd spent two days on the less classy side of the city and that day he ran into Seth, he'd already been awake for over five hours and running low on energy. He remembers that it was his fault he'd crashed into the man. He sighs as his gaze never leaves the neon city lights, that he's watching from the view in his office. How can someone he met two weeks ago ignite so many emotions in him?

"You're going to lose him," Manuia's voice is soft as he says the words.

"How can I lose someone who isn't even mine, Manuia?" Roman whispers loud enough for Manuia to hear. He tucks his hands in his pants pockets and blinks his eyes to clear his vision. "Would it not have been better if I'd let him go back to Tampa? I'm starting to think I made a mistake in proposing that he stay here."

"You don't mean that."

"Of course I mean it!" Roman snaps, facing his bodyguard. "What am I supposed to say, Manuia, when all I've been feeling since Seth Rollins came into my life are emotions I have no control over?"

"And what are you feeling at the moment?"

"What are you, my damn therapist now?" Roman snorts.

Manuia rolls his eyes and goes to sit on the chair across the royal's desk. "I'm here, I'm all ears."

Roman turns away from him again, he releases a long exhale, and tries to consider his feelings carefully. Manuia is probably one of the few people who can get him to talk. He doesn't even try to stop the previous day's events from taunting him. "Anger," he begins when he remembers how Seth had looked with that man at the pub and grill. "Hurt. Fear. Betrayal. I felt disrespected by him."

"Let's start with anger. Why were you angry Roman?"

"Because the mere thought of Seth Rollins being with another man angers me," Roman starts his voice growing darker with each word. "I don't want to see him with anyone else. And when I saw him with that man…all I could think about was snatching him away. I wanted to hurt the guy he was talking to Manuia. The thoughts that went through my head…" Roman shakes his head and closes his eyes. Maybe bringing Seth to Miami had really been a mistake—he already wants to violently assault someone he doesn't know.

"You were jealous." Manuia tells him what he already knows. "What about the hurt, why did you feel that way?"

"Isn't obvious?" Roman snorts, his eyes reopening. "I know I have no right to feel hurt because Seth Rollins is not even mine but when I saw him with that guy…" the lumps are coming back to his throat, making it a challenge for him to continue. "The last time I felt that way was with Tyler. On the day of the funeral. I could only watch Manuia, I could only watch as it felt like my heart was being ripped apart." Roman's clears his throat. "But of course I have no right to feel that way. Seth Rollins is not even mine to begin with."

Manuia remains silent and Roman finds himself wanting to continue. To release each and every emotion he's been feeling the last few hours. "I don't scare easily Manuia. But I remember how hard my heart beat against my chest when I saw Seth Rollins sitting in that corner with that man. It scares me…that I fear to see him with someone else. And then there was the betrayal I felt. It's funny how a part of me feels betrayed by a man who isn't mine. How seeing him with another man felt like he was betraying me even though we're not together. I felt betrayed that he was allowing that man to touch him. I felt betrayed every time he blushed. I felt betrayed by every giggle and little gesture. He rarely does that for me but he'd done it for a man he'd met less than a day."

"That's because you keep giving him mixed signals!" Manuia's voice raises unconsciously. "I've seen how you interact with him Roman. Yes, I'll admit that you've been kind to him these past days. But what about last night? What about when he tried to open up and you _pushed_ him away?" Roman turns to face him, his eyes widened. "Yes, he told me about the kiss! How you pushed him away and left without telling him where you were going. Now I find it funny that you did that, considering how pissed you were when we spent over an hour looking for him. But because the man's too kind for his own good, the only thing that's been stressing him is finding out whether you're okay or not!"

"I know you feel something for him Roman. And you know it too. But I'm telling you this now and I'm not going to hide it from you— _you're_ _going_ _to_ _lose_ _him_! If you don't get your act together and stop running then he'll find someone else. Someone who deserves him, someone who'll treat him like royalty. And no, they won't need to be a prince. Stop running, don't you think you did it enough with Nikki?"

Roman's eyes water but he says nothing. His eyes go to stare at his feet, and he listens to Manuia. "He's not going to hurt you. You don't need to be on guard all the time—allow yourself to fall. You already are, I see how you look at him when you let your walls down. Was it not you who told me to give Bobby a chance despite my past? Despite my h-hurt?" Manuia's voice cracks in frustration. "Please Your Highness, don't let the past keep you from experiencing something beautiful. You already know how _beautiful_ love is, you're surrounded by it. Why not experience more of it? Why not share yourself with someone?"

"Give him a chance, don't let him be a missed connection. It's what you told me about Bobby, remember? It's your turn now. Follow your own advice."

Roman looks up and Manuia is crying—and Manuia rarely cries. "You make it sound so simple Manuia. Here's this man, I've known for two weeks. And the mere thought of him with someone else kills me. Here's this man, I've known for two weeks. And I am intensely drawn to him. And the feelings I have for him…" Roman rubs his face tiredly. "I stand to lose more than him. I've loved once Manuia and look where it got me—broken and burying those I love. If I fall in love with Seth Rollins and he changes his mind tomorrow, what happens to me? If he does the same thing Tyler did, don't you think that would be the end of me? I don't know what you want me to do."

"Leave him be! If you don't know what you want then leave him the fuck alone. Stop sending mixed signals. Stop wanting him one minute then rejecting him the next. Don't hold it against him when he meets people. You're confusing him, and it's not fair on him."

"Did he say that?" Roman grits out, his stare locked on Manuia's.

"No!" Manuia shouts. "I'm instructing you to do it because you clearly don't want him. You'd much rather watch him with someone else than take a chance with him. So let him be. He's beautiful, everyone can see it and if someone approaches him because they appreciate what they see then allow him to be happy."

Roman nods his head and purses his lips together, "As you wish, brother."

Manuia gives him a disappointed look. "I never pegged you for a coward, Roman."

"If being a coward means guarding my heart against heartbreak then I'll proudly remain one." Roman's not even finished what he's saying when Manuia walks out on him. Roman turns back to face the city lights, one hand moving out of his pockets to rub his face tiredly. He considers Manuia's words and finds himself snorting. How could the man even tell him to leave Seth Rollins alone? He'd missed Seth the minute he stepped out of his house. Seth Rollins owns a part of his soul and he doesn't even know it.

* * *

 

Seth wakes to the feeling of someone looking at him, his eyes dart around the dark living room until they land on _his_ eyes. His freezes from his position on the couch as he looks into Roman's eyes, relying on the light coming through from the moon illuminating the otherwise dark living room. His heart thunders in his chest as Roman looks back at him without saying a word. The brown orbs are calmer than they were yesterday and it lessens his fear. He can still remember how Roman's eyes had blazed with anger at the restaurant. He still remembers how scary the man had been when he'd been speaking to Manuia.

Seth sits up so that he's face to face with Roman who remains crouched on one knee in front of him. He doesn't know how many minutes pass as they simply look at each other without saying a word. Seth knows it's probably very late though, he'd again waited for Roman until eleven when he'd forced himself to sleep because he has a class in the morning. He wants to ask a lot of questions. Where has Roman been? Why didn't he call? Why did he just leave…like that?

The words that come out instead are, "Do you care for me at all? Even if it's just as a human being because I don't u-understand why you keep hurting me. What did I do wrong?"

Roman doesn't respond, he keeps his knelt position, his eyes still locked on Seth. Seth knows he should be freaked out by how the man keeps looking at him in the dark blankly. Roman resembles a mannequin, he's unmoving. Seth is angered by the action, however, because Roman looks like he doesn't care at all. His right hand moves on it's own accord to connect with Roman's cheek hard—the impact of the strike resonates in the quiet room but Roman doesn't even move. The only sign that he felt the impact of Seth's hand connecting with his cheek is when his jaw locks and unlocks.

"What is wrong with you?!" Seth shouts. "Of course," he nods to himself, when Roman remains quiet. Seth gets up with his blanket in hand and walks away from Roman. The man clearly isn't interested in saying anything to him. He struggles up the stairs but makes it to his room eventually. His eyes go to the watch on the bedside table, the digits flashing 02:18 in the morning. He sighs knowing he'll probably be falling asleep in class in the morning. He decides to take a quick bath though because the last time his body tasted water was on Wednesday morning and it's now the early hours of a Friday morning and he smells.

The bath takes longer than expected, a lot of thoughts churning over and over in his head. His mind keeps telling him that maybe coming to Miami had been a mistake. Roman and him hadn't even lasted a week before this whole mess began, and if this is how bad their first argument is, then he dreads knowing how bad their arguments will be. He thinks back to how horrible Roman had looked—despite the blank eyes, Seth had seen how red they were. As if the man hadn't slept a wink, but he'd refrained from asking when the man had ignored him. He still wishes he didn't care, because caring hurts so much when the person doesn't return the gesture. It hurts when that he'd been worried about a man, who'd ignored him as if something to be disregarded.

After ensuring that he'd cleaned his body as thoroughly as possible, Seth steps out the bath and wraps a fluffy towel around his waist. A smaller towel dries his wet hair before he hangs it on the towel rack and goes back into his room. His eyes land on the figure seated at the foot of his bed, right in the middle of the king size bed. He releases a tiny gasp because Roman's scared him. The man sits with his hands joined together as he stares straight ahead. "What are you doing here?" Seth asks.

"I want us to get an understanding on one thing Seth Rollins," Roman's voice is firm as he begins. "You do not lay your hands on me. I don't care how angry you are. You're permitted to shout at me. To call me every derogatory word in the dictionary but you are not going to physically come at me. I would never put my hands on you and I expect the same from you. Are we clear?" the tone leaves no room for argument—it's calm but hard, and firm.

Seth nods his head, looking at the man from his spot, just outside the bathroom. "Yes."

Roman gets up, trailing light footsteps towards him. He only notices now how the man looks like he's taken a shower as well. His eyes have cleared a bit and he's only in a pair of black boxers. Seth knows he's taken a shower when Roman stands right in front of him and the man's heady scent assaults him. He's not going to breathe in deeply to get more of it though, instead he looks up at the Lanuolan who looks down at him with a look akin to tenderness. Seth isn't sure so he remains in place, his left hand gripping the towel around his waist firmly. Their closeness is making Seth nervous, he wants to maneuver his way past Roman but the big man has him surrounded with no way of escaping.

"The last twenty four hours, I've probably felt more than I've felt in my life Seth." Roman says, looking him in the eyes. "With you I have to struggle with what I'm feeling half the time because I don't understand. I…Manuia came to me, to shed some light." When Seth looks away Roman grips his chin gently so that they're looking at each other again. "It took seeing you with another man for me to realize how I feel about you. I…felt like I was being killed a slow death. I don't know what that guy can offer you. I don't know what a million other guys on earth can offer. And I know I don't deserve a chance with how bad I treat you, but I would be grateful if you gave me a chance to show you how much more better I can do. Because in a world full of men who can offer you the world, I can offer you more than that. I can offer you the galaxy. I can offer so much more Seth."

Seth snorts and pulls his head away from Roman's hand. "And it would never be enough if you didn't offer me your heart. Because that's what I want the most—it's what I crave to have."

"If you want it then it's your Seth. Anything you want is yours."

"Until you go and do something else. I can't even tell if you're being sincere."

Roman grips his face, his eyes searching Seth's. "Look at my eyes Seth. See the truth of my words in my eyes. It's right there, baby, and I want you to see it."

Seth obeys the instruction, he looks into the brown orbs that reveal so much emotion like they did two days ago. And Roman's allowing him to see—everything. "What you and I feel Seth, you can't fake it. You can't run away from it—I tried to and look where it got us." His hands trail down Seth's arms, making the smaller man shiver from the warm touch. Roman leans down to kiss a bare shoulder. "I want you Seth, with everything in me. I'll worship the ground you walk on if you give me the chance."

Seth's heart is beating inside his chest. Silence ensues when Roman pulls away and their eyes remain locked on each other. Even in the silence, their eyes reveal so many things. Nothing needs to be verbalized, their connection speaks for them, telling the story better than any words could ever say. Seth doesn't stop Roman when the man leans down to capture his lips, his arms lock around the Lanuolan's neck instead. And whatever fireworks you read about in those romance novels is a lie. Seth feels a fire within him instead, it's a small fire that grows rapidly with each glide against Roman's tongue. He feels like his body is being set alight, he's being awakened and shook to his very core.

He feels Roman's arms tightening around his nude waist, and says a silent prayer at the back of his mind that his towel doesn't fall. Roman's devouring his lips—kissing him as if his life depends on it. He's making all these sounds and molding their bodies together. Seth pulls away when the feelings he's feeling overwhelm him. He opens his eyes and meets Roman's dark pupils. The royal's breathing is harsh and his lips are glistening in saliva. The man caresses his cheek gently causing Seth to lean into the touch. It's electrical, he feels, everything feels charged and his heart surges in joy when he feels Roman's lips against his again. The man's softer this time, his lips teasing Seth of how things could be. How things will be. "I really like you." Seth whispers against Roman's lips when the kiss finally ends.

"I really, really like you too Seth Rollins."

"We sound like preadolescents, don't we?" Seth laughs.

"I don't care baby."

The term of endearment again. Seth smiles and places a soft kiss on a tattooed pec. Another bout of silence where they just look at each other causing Seth to fidget by the minute. "What is it?"

"I have an early class tomorrow," Seth whispers.

"Why didn't you tell me? I would've taken you to bed long ago." Roman grabs him by his arm and leads them to Seth's bed. Seth's brought to a warm chest when they settle. Roman's arms rest on his waist, trailing dangerously close to his bare ass. His towel unknotted the minute the man pulled Seth close to him. "You've got a great ass," Roman whispers kissing his forehead. The royal's hand plays with Seth's supple skin and maybe it's too soon for them to be like this but Seth can't bring himself to care. He doesn't respond to Roman but allows the man's steady heartbeat to reassure him. Yes, Roman is here and he wants this. Yes, he's here and he wants him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I honestly don't know how to do short chapters, at least for this fic. This is so long, you're warned :)

It's the early hours of the morning, and Roman finds himself staring at the ceiling blankly. Seth's right next to him, the brunet's arm holding onto his bare waist in a tight hold—almost as if he's afraid that Roman will disappear if he doesn't cling tighter. At least, that's what Roman thinks the hold on him means. He can feel Seth's steady heartbeat against his side, while the smaller man's breath comes out in small even puffs—in, out, in again and then out. Seth's breathing against his neck, sends little tickles to the sensitive part of his skin.

Roman doesn't really know how much time has passed since Seth's fallen asleep but he knows it's been a while. And he should be asleep too, he knows that. But his mind has been churning all these different thoughts in his head. And they all revolve around the brunet currently asleep on his chest. He'd admitted his feelings to Seth and it had felt great—a while ago. But now left alone in his thoughts, Roman can't stop the fear that claws at him. Is he really going to do this? Again? Is he going to allow himself to be vulnerable—to _fall_?

Love is a weakness, Roman knows firsthand how much destruction it leaves behind once lost. When he lost Tyler, the blond had left a void in him, a hollowness so deep that Roman had promised himself to never allow himself to be in a position where another person would have such a power over him ever again. And now he finds himself here again—trying the whole love thing out with Seth. He finds himself here—giving his heart out and allowing himself to be open to heartbreak, and pain, and loss. An unconscious groan leaves his lips at the thought. What if things go wrong?

There's a shuffling beside him, Seth moving slightly away from him to settle on his own pillow. Roman turns his head to the side to glance at him. Even in the in the dark, he can make out the outline of Seth's face. The brunet's lips are slightly parted as he breathes directly into Roman's face. Thick long eyelashes rest perfectly on his cheeks and he looks so _peaceful_ , and so _beautiful_ that Roman's heart falters a bit. If he ever lost Seth…

He doesn't finish his train of thought, his heart finishes for him. His heart folds together—clenching painfully. Roman turns on his side fully to kiss Seth's lips gently—and the tightness lessens. _Relax_ , _I'm_ _here_. Seth's lips seem to reassure him, even though the man's still sleeping. His lips then travel to Seth's cheek, his lips being tickled lightly by the man's light beard. Seth doesn't move an inch, his breathing as calm as ever—it's infectious and Roman mimics his breathing feeling it calm his heart. He pulls back after a second, to appreciate Seth's beauty one final time before he gets out of the bed quietly and decides to get started on his day.

* * *

 

"This is what he looks like," Roman hands two manila folders to the two men in his office. "I want you to follow him—everywhere. He goes to the toilet, you follow him there. You and Ted are professionals, I expect both of you to be as discreet as possible. I don't want him feeling like he's being followed. Do we have an understanding?"

Ted replies first, "Yes." He pages through the folder, looking at Seth's picture.

The second guy, who's name is Cody, nods his head and holds the folder up, "We won't disappoint, boss."

"Excellent," Roman moves from his desk to stand in front of the two men. "You're to do this only when myself and Manuia are not with him. If you find anything suspicious, you report back to me. He's still new to Miami, I don't think he's made much friends yet. So he'll probably be spending his time between college and home for a while. But like I said, he goes somewhere, you tell me. You find something suspicious, you tell me." When Ted and Cody nod their heads in understanding, Roman gestures for both of them to follow him to the door. "Pleasure doing business, gentlemen." He exchanges firm handshakes with them both before they leave his office.

Roman goes back to his desk once the door closes, silently. It's nine in the morning and he knows Seth's first lecture is just beginning which means Manuia won't be in the office for another thirty minutes maybe. Thinking about Manuia reminds him that he owes the bigger man an apology. And he owes him a thank you too, because had it not been for his bodyguard then he would've lost Seth. And Roman, knowing Manuia as well as he does, knows the perfect way to apologize and thank the man at the same time. He calls Bayley's line and waits for his P.A to pick up, she answers within the first ring. "Boss?"

"Bayley," Roman starts in a warm voice. "I need you to do something for me."

"Shoot."

"Can you order panipopo from that restaurant on Lincoln road. Two boxes please, and get a coffee for me and a double espresso for Manuia. He should be here in about thirty minutes, everything should have arrived by then."

"Alright, do you need anything else?"

"That's all. Thank you, Bayley." Their conversation ends when the call disconnects. Roman looks at his schedule to confirm the time for his next meeting. It's in two hours from now so has enough time with Manuia. Roman thinks back to the meeting he had not too long ago with Cody and Ted DiBiase, the two married bodyguards he's just hired to follow Seth around. He knows Manuia will be pissed once he finds out but Roman tells himself that he's just looking out for himself as well as Seth. Because should anything happen, Roman wants to be able to stop it in time. He isn't going to allow history to repeat itself—he's not going to go through the pain again. He has the power to do something now.

The meeting at eleven is for a business proposal from a man who needs an investor(s) to fund his fashion line. Usually when he's very busy, his investment banker handles the proposals to determine if they will be beneficial to A'noai Investments too. Yes, Roman doesn't need the money with how well he's thriving from his own chain of companies and the family companies but he isn't going to invest his money where he won't benefit. And in this proposal, Roman can tell that the man, Mike Mizanin, doesn't think Roman deserves even five percent in returns, especially with the amount he wants Roman to chip out.

It's a good proposal, the clothing brand's name is catchy, 'The Miztourage,' Roman reads. Roman sees nothing wrong with it, clearly Mr. Mizanin knows what he's talking about but he's also way ahead of himself in terms of starting shop. The man wants to open his store at one of the luxurious malls in Miami, Bel Harbour Shops. Roman thinks that's reaching too far a bit, Mr. Mizanin isn't even a well-known designer in the fashion business yet and he's already talking about competing with the likes of Dolce & Gabbana, Gucci and Giorgio Armani. Roman doesn't doubt that Mr. Mizanin will—one day though, not now. The man needs to start small, get his name out there, market his brand to the people who will actually afford to buy his clothes now before thinking about selling to the rich and famous.

There's a knock on his door before Manuia enters, Roman looks at the watch wrapped around his wrist and notices that he's been looking at Mr. Mizanin's proposal for about twenty minutes. It's definitely too long and the man had added bits of unnecessary information about himself that Roman isn't interested in. To motivate why Roman should invest in his business, the man has said things like, "I am A-list." To "I can wear the hell out of a suit." Roman rolls his eyes, the guy talks about himself way too much.

"What has you rolling your eyes so early in the morning?" Manuia laughs, as he settles on the leather couch in Roman's office.

"I'm having a meeting with a narcissist in about an hour—not looking forward to it. You should see this guy's proposal—it's brilliant but he talks about himself way too much." Roman moves from where he was sitting to go join Manuia on the leather couch. His bodyguard looks better than he did last night, more calmer and it makes Roman smile at him. "Faanoanoa tele, brother." He says with every genuine bone in his body.

"I'm sorry, too." Manuia says, pulling Roman in for a hug. "Seth was just…it broke my heart to see him that way and I got angry. I'm sorry for forgetting my place and raising my voice at you. I'm sorry for swearing."

Roman shakes his head, "That's nonsense and you know it. I mess up sometimes and I behave like an asshole. If you see it then you're permitted to raise your voice at me. You're allowed to put me in my place, Manuia."

Delicious smells assault Roman's nostrils even before Bayley can knock on his office door. The smell has reached Manuia too because the man breathes in deep before letting out a deep moan, "Your Highness, why am I reminded of home?" Bayley enters juggling two white boxes filled with panipopo on one hand and two large Styrofoam cups holding their coffee on the other hand. "Is that what I think it is?"

"Yes," Bayley smiles cheerfully. "Two boxes filled with coconut goodness and your favorite espresso from that restaurant you love. What'd Roman do to you? He never buys you this unless he's apologizing for something."

"I resent that statement," Roman says with no real heat to his words. Bayley knows he's joking too, because she sticks her tongue out at him while placing their food on the small mahogany desk in front of them. "Manuia knows it's not true. Right, brother?"

Manuia winks at Bayley, a small shrug accompanying it. "Roman would _never_ buy me so that I can forgive him." The lilt in his tone betrays him.

 _Sarcastic_ _bastard_ , Roman thinks to himself, laughing. "I'm having a wonderful morning. I'll let you slide."

"Enjoy, you two." Bayley says before walking out of Roman's office.

Manuia opens his box and brings the freshly baked goods to his nose, "Mhhh…these I will _devour_." His index finger scoops the coconut cream on the bun before he licks it off his finger, moaning uncontrollably. Roman can only stare—bewildered. Manuia's eyes have closed and he genuinely looks in heaven with all the moans he's making. The man's doing it on purpose—he must be—the sounds grow louder with each passing second. "Manuia, they're good but not _that_ good. You're moaning like Bobby's shoving his dick down your ass or something. Quit it—I don't want to think about you having sex. I'm still haunted by the last time I caught you." Roman caught them having sex one night. In his car. To say he was angry would be an understatement—he'd been enraged. But he can never stay angry at the two of them for long. But Roman thinks maybe Manuia can't keep quiet during sex because it's his moaning that had alerted him that Monday night. It's a hard image to forget—his big ass bodyguard bouncing up and down on Bobby's dick like a— _nope_ , _you're not going there_ , he tells himself.

Manuia laughing causes him to look at his bodyguard, "Your face," Manuia cackles. "Come on, Your Highness…people have sex all the time. It's not my fault that you subjected yourself to live porn."

Roman grimaces, "Can we change the subject?"

Manuia takes pity on him, his laughs die down a bit and he sips on his espresso. It's way too hot for both him and Roman to be drinking any hot beverage but they both don't care—it's routine for them to eat this way. "Look at what the tabloids are saying," Manuia gives Roman his phone after the man wipes his hands with a napkin.

_Former prostitute, Seth Rollins, spotted at elite college in Miami._

Roman frowns at the headline, he scrolls through some of the sites saved by Manuia and most of them are speculating about Seth's stay in Miami. "Someone will need to fetch him. His last class is at one right?" Manuia nods affirmative. "You won't be able to fetch him. You're attending that World Peace dialog with me. Bobby—"

"Flew to Boston with Tamina earlier this morning," Manuia sighs, a sad look etching on his features. "He's coming back on Sunday. It'll be one hell of a long, boring weekend for me. I miss him already."

"I'm sorry," Roman says dismissively. His thoughts are on Seth, he doesn't want a repeat of Wednesday. He doesn't want to find Seth waiting somewhere with some _man._ Roman knows that he's going to spend the whole dialog worrying and thinking about who Seth is with but he's also going to be worried about Seth's safety, which is most important. He hadn't thought about making arrangements for the man to be fetched—he's been on his own for far too long. "Contact John. Have him fetch Seth."

Manuia takes his phone back from Roman, "As soon as we're done here."

"Do you think it's alright for me to send a text now? So he knows who will be fetching him."

"I mean if he has his phone on silent, it shouldn't be a problem."

Roman nods and puts his coffee aside, he goes to get his phone on his office desk to send Seth a quick message. He finds John's picture from an app that stores all the bodyguards' pictures and sends it along with the message. "Done." He looks at Manuia.

"So he told me you're both on good terms…"

Manuia's curiosity is barely concealed and it causes Roman to snort a bit. The man is just dying to get info on his personal affairs. "We are."

"Really? That's all you're giving me? After all the tears I shed?"

"I'm immune to emotional blackmail, Manuia, you should know that by now."

Manuia sighs exaggeratedly, "Just give me something, Your Highness. How's it going between you two? Did you kiss?"

Roman knows Manuia isn't going to stop pestering until he gives in so he decides to speed up the process—for both their sakes. "I…confessed my feelings," he begins quietly. "I confessed what I feel and then I—I, uh," Roman clears his throat and then in the quietest of voices says, "I kissed him." It feels weird confessing it to another person. It tells Roman that what happened not even twenty-four hours ago is _not_ a dream. Seth—everything that's happened is real, Seth _wants_ him. And Roman wants him too, scared as he is, he wants Seth with everything in him. "He's just so beautiful Manuia. He's so perfect and I—I can't believe he's…mine." The last part is whispered in awe. Manuia's giving him a tender smile, making him turn away in embarrassment. His bodyguard looked like a proud mother for a minute and it was too much for him.

"And you're his," Manuia says, testing the waters. He needs to know that Seth isn't the only one invested in whatever they're beginning. Manuia needs to know Roman's allowing himself to fall—that he isn't just claiming Seth's heart and not giving the brunet his in return. There's silence for what feels like forever with Roman not saying anything. For a brief period of time, Manuia thinks maybe Roman has changed his mind. The man still has his back turned to him as he stares at the Miami view.

"I am his." Roman says finally and it's said so quietly, Manuia strains to hear the words. Roman's gaze never leaves the beautiful view as thoughts of Seth continue to invade him. Yes the fear hasn't disappeared and nor have the doubts but he genuinely _feels_ for Seth. So much more than he felt for even Nikki, when they dated three years ago. And maybe it's the reason he'd never even bothered to fight for her when the raven-haired vixen left him for John Cena, the same man he's now hiring to act as Seth's chauffeur/bodyguard. He remembers the woman crying and screaming at him—about all those nights he ignored her. About every time he mistreated and hurt her, almost like Seth did last night. He didn't care much then, a part of him that doesn't want to get hurt tells him not to now, but he's going to try. For Seth he's going to try because with him it's different. _Seth is different._ "We're each other's."

He doesn't know when Manuia stood up because his giant of a bodyguard is now right behind him. "I'm proud of you, Roman." Roman gives Manuia a solemn nod, his hands find their way inside his pockets when Manuia pats his shoulder. "It's ten-thirty, I'll leave you to get ready for your next meeting."

After the click of the door sounds, Roman turns to grab his phone from his desk. He'd told Seth last night that he'd treat him better and he meant it. He's going to worship the ground Seth walks on for as long as the brunet grants him the opportunity. A voice sounds on the other end of the line, "Welcome to The Zulu. You're speaking to Florence, how can we brighten your day?"

Roman chuckles at the greeting, the tone's too cheery, this Florence sounds exactly like Bayley. "Hi Florence. I need you to create something for me. A gift of sentimental value—as an apology to the one I've wronged."

* * *

 

 _Finally,_ Seth thinks when his final lecture ends. He'd been falling asleep throughout his entire lectures because he got only got a few hours of sleep last night. He's already thinking about the comfort of his bed as he grabs his bag and hightails it out of the class. He takes his phone out of his pocket and unlocks the flashy gadget to read the messages on his phone—there's four of them. One is from Roman, reading the man's name causes his heart to skip a beat while his stomach twists in knots. He can't help the way his body reacts to the man—he's drawn to him.

From the three remaining messages, two are from Dean and one is from Kofi. He feels a tiny bit bad when he ignores all their messages in favor of reading the one that looks most 'important'. His hand's trembling as he opens the message Roman's left for him. _Seth Rollins,_ Seth doesn't mean to roll his eyes at that but he can imagine Roman's voice as he reads his name.

_Your last class is at one. Go to the university's parking area—your driver will be waiting there. His name is John Cena, I have attached his picture to this message._

Seth reads the message probably three times—everything sounds like an instruction to him. And where is the lovey-dovey stuff? Firstly, Seth woke up alone, the cold sheets next to him had told him that the man had left long ago. He'd been worried that maybe Roman had changed his mind, but Manuia had reassured him that it wasn't the case. Roman, being an early bird, probably hadn't wanted to wake him; it's what Manuia had told him. And so Seth had let it slide, but now…he isn't even going to get any 'Hey baby' or any 'I hope you had a great day at college'. The man sent a similar message two days ago, what's changed between then and today?

Granted, this is Seth's first relationship so he doesn't know much about relationship dynamics, but don't couples do that in relationships? Even Xavier, dating that cold bastard Randy, gets sweet texts from him. Sure, Seth isn't expecting Roman to be a complete romantic but didn't the man mention something about worshipping the ground he walks on, yesterday? Seth deserves even a bit of pampering. Yes, he nods to himself, Roman needs to treat him like a Prince, after all the man's put him through. "Hey, you." Seth knows that voice. It's right behind him, so close in fact that the owner's breath is warm against his ear sending an unwanted shiver down his spine.

Seth turns to face the culprit, "Elias!" His voice comes out too high-pitched.

"So Seth, for how long are you going to stomp on my bruised ego?"

"Huh?" Seth shakes his head, bewildered.

"Your number…you gave it to me but you're not responding to my calls or my messages. You know back in the day, people would just give you the wrong number and one would be able to take the hint. I don't know man…am I reading the signals wrong?"

Seth notices that as usual, a few—no it's actually a lot of eyes this time—are peeking at them. They're standing at the parking area and Seth should be trying to find this John Cena, Roman spoke of but instead he finds himself standing with a guy who's now looking at him like Seth's genuinely hurt his feelings. He fails to notice how Elias has grabbed hold of his right hand, and how the man's now carrying his bag for him. He thinks back to Elias's question, did he read things wrong? _No, not really,_ his mind tells him. Elias is attractive, he's got a great body, he gives off good vibes and he looks like a nice guy who Seth would've dated—if his heart didn't belong to another man. It's Roman he wants, the man's not perfect and he still needs to prove himself but Seth can't let him go without trying. They're both willing to try and it's enough for him.

"Look Elias…" Seth starts softly. Elias seems to already know what Seth's going to say because his eyes downcast, and he looks like a kicked puppy. Seth swallows the lump in his throat, he doesn't want the man to feel bad. Maybe in another universe… "I'm with someone right now. You're a great guy and you were the first guy who talked to me when I came here. You're the first one who made me feel welcomed and for that I'm grateful. But I—I, there's someone else. I'm sorry if I gave you false hope."

"Is it that Prince?"

It takes a minute to sink in Seth's head, "What?"

"I googled your name after you left that day. You're a former prostitute and you're linked to that Prince. But the papers were saying you're both denying having a relationship. Has it changed? In that expensive car, he's the one that was standing outside the car with you. The one who looked angry and went to sit on the other side, right? Are you dating him?"

"I—I, um, n-no. He's uh," Seth mentally curses at his stammer. Elias's eyes sparkle suspiciously with each word he stutters so Seth takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. "The guy I'm seeing…he's not from around here. He's from Iowa."

"And you guys are in a long distance relationship?"

"…yes."

"For how long?"

The questions are getting annoying now. "Uh…six months."

"And yet, you let me take you out. You let me serenade you and do all these flirty things knowing very well that you have a man. Surely, something's going wrong in your relationship if you'd allow another guy to do that." Elias says. "I'll sound like a jerk saying this, but it's good for me. It means I still stand a chance."

And Seth isn't really sure how to respond to that, "We're doing more than fine. I'm just not good at reading body language. I didn't know you were flirting with me." Even he doesn't believe his lie. He's not surprised when Elias gives him a 'You couldn't come up with something better' expression. "It's true…" he's really not helping his case at the moment.

"Didn't say it wasn't." Elias shrugs. "But I'm still keeping my fingers crossed. Y'all haven't been dating that long. If your boyfriend doesn't cherish the beauty I see in you, then you'll be walking with me pretty soon. You'll be waking up in my bed too. I'll give you the world."

" _Because in a world full of men who can offer you the world, I can offer you more than that. I can offer you the galaxy. I can offer so much more Seth."_

Roman's words play in his mind. He has Roman—he doesn't need the world, like he'd told Roman last night. And so Roman had given him his heart, what Seth had wanted. It's enough, really. "I'm sorry Elias, really I am. There's someone else."

"And not once have you said you're in love with him. I stand a chance Seth, I know we've known each other for three days but I like you. I'm not the type to back away when I see something I like, I go all out for it—full force. I'm not giving up."

The hug Elias envelopes him in is unexpected. One minute they were talking and now he has Elias's arms around his waist, tightening. Seth doesn't hug back, he's too scared to, and he doesn't know why. He's just dumbfounded…even when he feels Elias's lips brush against his neck slightly before the bigger man pulls away from him. "Let me escort you to your car," Elias says, grabbing his hand.

Seth pulls his hand away and looks around crowded parking lot until he meets a Bentley that looks like the one Manuia normally drives. The number plate is different though and so is the man standing outside the car. He's the John, Roman spoke of. The man's huge, with his bulging muscles hugging the black blazer he's wearing snugly. He's also wearing a white shirt coupled with a thin black tie and formfitting black pants. Oh, and Seth can't forget his sunglasses. And his arms are folded against his chest, making him look like a true bodyguard but he looks a bit too serious for Seth's liking.

"Mr. Rollins," John's deep voice says, when he catches sight of Seth.

"Hey…and it's Seth." Seth smiles. "And this is Elias, a friend of mine."

John nods his head and shakes hands with Elias before turning his attention back to Seth, "You ready to go?"

"Yes," Elias gives him his bag and Seth raises an eyebrow. When had the man even taken his bag? "Uh…thank you? I'll see you on Monday."

John's closing his door for him when Elias turns to face him, "Have a great weekend Seth." The man says before walking away from him.

John takes off his sunglasses once he gets in the car. His deep blue eyes meet Seth's on the rearview mirror. "So Seth, any place you want me to take you to or is it straight home?"

"Straight home, please." Seth whispers, his eyes fluttering shut.

***

"—llo" Seth's voice is groggy as he answers his phone. He'd hit the sack the minute he reached home around two-thirty. He still feels like he hasn't gotten enough sleep. He blinks his drowsy eyes and looks at the large window from his room. The sun is still shining—bright as ever so it probably isn't that late.

"Seth Rollins,"

 _It's him._ Seth's never cleared sleep out of his system faster. His body reacts instantly to _his_ deep velvety voice, and Seth finds himself sitting up to lean his back against the headboard. There's a warmth in the pit of his stomach, in fact, every bone in his body feels alive. He's helpless against the small sigh escaping his lips, "Roman." He whispers.

"Yes," even though he can't see it but Seth can feel the warmth in his man's voice. He can hear the man's smile with just that word uttered. "Did you get home safely? Was everything okay with John?"

He doesn't mean to smile the way he does but Roman cares. He cares enough to ask. "Yes and yes." He replies. "How's work?"

"Fine," the tone's dismissive this time but Seth can tell it's not in a bad way. Roman sounds like he wants to talk about them, Seth isn't sure, but it sounds like it. "Good, as long as you're comfortable. We're going out at six, will you be ready by then?" The man doesn't like asking. Seth's dismissing the last part of what Roman said, him asking if Seth will be ready means nothing. The man just told him they're going out. And his tone—it leaves no room for argument, like last night. Not that Seth will argue with Roman wanting to take him out. He's just glad that they'll be spending more time together. But is this like a date or are they just going out? Seth's not sure.

"On like a…date?" He doesn't like how his voice sounds unsure, it lacks confidence.

"Yes."

"What should I wear?"

"Your clothes." The line's silent for a while before Roman lets out a small laugh. "Oh... Do you have any formal wear?"

"No…" his tone's embarrassed this time.

"Don't be embarrassed. It doesn't matter anyway. Casual wear is fine. I'll see you at home, alright?"

"Alright," Seth sighs. "I'll be waiting."

The call isn't dropped, Seth hears Roman's steady breathing before the man speaks up again, "I'm lucky to have you Seth. I'll prove to you…how serious I am about you. I…goodbye Seth." The phone remains against Seth's ear after Roman's hanged up, his mind still processing Roman's words. Why is this man making him fall harder? The hand that isn't holding his phone goes to his belly when he feels a fluttering there. His eyes close and he just…allows himself to _feel. Everything._ He welcomes every beautiful emotion that assaults him as he thinks about the royal who owns his heart.

When Seth finally leaves his bed, it's five o'clock, and he's done a few things since then. He entertained Elias's messages for about ten minutes. They had a flowing conversation, and the man had invited him to come through at The Grill Lounge tomorrow but Seth had politely declined. His friends are coming to visit him tomorrow. Speaking of Xavier and Dean, he spoke to them too. For close to an hour this time. As usual, Dean had asked him if Roman and him had fucked yet and in turn Seth had told the man to go fuck himself. He hasn't told them about the latest development with Roman—he's too scared to. Seth is afraid that he'll somehow jinx everything and he _doesn't_ want that. He really likes Roman, he's too scared to lose him. He knows that he will have to tell them at some point but for now he wants to keep their relationship to himself.

Seth's taken his shower and is picking out an outfit when his door opens. He fails to hear it as he rummages through his closet looking through the new clothes he bought with Manuia. He wants to look good for Roman. The royal always looks good even when he's just wearing a pair of boxers. And Seth doesn't want to embarrass him, which is why he's picking from his new clothes. Roman's probably going to be wearing some expensive brand and Seth wants to look just as good as him. He startles slightly when he feels large arms encircle his waist pulling him into a strong chest. Roman's scent engulfs him and Seth closes his eyes, resting his hands on top of the big ones that rest on his stomach.

"You smell so good," Roman's deep voice rumbles against his back. The royal has his face buried in his neck and Seth's body is reacting again. Roman's lips touch the sensitive part of his neck while his right hand lifts up to rub on his nipple. Seth moans, it's undisguised and full of need. He turns in Roman's arms and leans up to kiss his full lips. He cups the man's cheeks, loving the feel of Roman's beard beneath his touch. Like last night, Roman's devouring him—his hands tighten around Seth's waist and he kisses Seth passionately. Seth never knew kissing could feel this good, he tries to keep up with how hard Roman goes but the royal seems to be reinforcing his dominance over him. Seth doesn't mind though as he lets Roman lead before the man pulls away and buries his face in Seth's neck again.

"Hey," it's whispered. Roman has pulled away from him and they're looking at each other. Seth says nothing more as he gazes into Roman's brown eyes, they're piercing—as if gazing into his soul. The silence between them says so much, it's a moment so intense but still so tender and so intimate. They're being vulnerable—Seth sees it in Roman's eyes and he knows the other man can see it in his own brown irises too. Seth feels bare and stripped of everything except what he's feeling for the man in front of him. "Roman," he whispers, when the Lanuolan captures his lips again. It's so _gentle_ and so _loving_ that a tiny whimper escapes Seth when the kiss ends.

"Get dressed. I'm going to take a quick shower and I'll meet you in the living room." Roman says, he kisses Seth's forehead softly before heading for Seth's door. The man stops for a second at the door before going back to Seth to kiss his lips again. "I'm so lucky." Seth can tell Roman's whispering the words to himself. His heart stutters in what's starting to feel like love…but it's too soon. What is Roman doing to him? His mouth welcomes Roman when the man's warm tongue finds it's way into Seth's mouth again. Seth can't really describe what he's feeling now—it's a mixture of joy, of ecstasy and everything just feels charged…with Roman. The man makes him feel like an electric current is running through his body, filling his body, his bones and his veins.

"We're never going to leave this place if you keep this up," Seth chuckles when Roman comes back yet again after having left for his door a few seconds ago. He leans away from Roman who leans forward to steal his lips for yet another kiss. "Go get ready. I deserve to be taken out."

"You deserve more than that," Roman says. Seth doesn't mean to let the royal kiss him again but the man's words defeat him. He's helpless against the royal's words. Roman does leave…eventually, while Seth quickly gets dressed. Seth puts on a pair of beige chino-styled Ralph Lauren shorts that aren't too tight to ensure that they slip past his cast but they're not too loose either. He then puts on a light Nike sweatshirt that's grey in color. A pair of black Nikes accommodate his feet, well the one that isn't injured. He sprays a bit of cologne to ensure he smells good. There's still a bit of time left before they leave so Seth fixes his hair, a pleased grin tugging at his lips when the brown mane frames his face in thick curls that drop at his shoulders.

Masina is making her way up the stairs when their eyes clash. Her foot stops on the first step before she pulls it back and stands on the ground watching Seth walk down the stairs. Seth's face heats up, if he's judging correctly, Masina looks in awe of him. She's looking at him like he's a beautiful creature. "Masina." He greets her once they're face to face.

"Wow," is the first word that Masina utters while she looks Seth up and down. "I always knew you were beautiful, Mr. Rollins but this… "Oe matagofie—you're gorgeous."

"Thank you," Seth smiles.

"So you and Leati fixed things…" Seth's caught off guard. How did Masina even— "I'm not blind Seth. The quiet ones are the ones who know first. We're the ones who observe. I just choose not to say anything sometimes. But I knew you crying had to do with him. So I'm taking it, you've fixed things. You look like you're going on a date."

Seth's defeated, he can't deny it. But he still hesitates a little, he's still afraid of jinxing this. He's _so_ happy. "We…talked and fixed things." Those are the only words he can muster. Masina already knows everything anyway, like the woman said, she's an 'observer'.

"I'm glad. Leati deserves love, he's so quick to give it to others. Family and friends but never a potential partner. You can change that Seth."

"You think so?" Okay, so the lack of confidence is back but who can blame him? Seth needs all the reassurance he can get. And these people are the ones who know Roman better than he does.

"I know so," Masina responds. She pats his cheeks gently before going upstairs. Seth watches her until she disappears from view. He goes to settle on the couch while he waits for Roman. He thinks about turning the TV on but decides against it—Roman should be down soon. That leaves him with nothing to do, because he left his phone in his room too. He doesn't know much about dates but he does know how rude it is to use your phone while on a date with someone so he figured he'd just leave it all together.

Seth forgets how to breathe when Roman comes into view. He has no words to describe how gorgeous the other man looks in dark blue jeans and a grey v-neck t-shirt that's hugging all the right muscles perfectly. The royal's hair lustrous black hair is tied into a man bun and a few hairs are already out of the bun. A black watch hugs his left wrist and he finishes his look with a pair of black Nikes. Roman's right arm flexes a bit, teasing his beautifully tattooed thick bicep when he moves his black jacket from his right hand to his left. Seth wants to say to hell with the date—he really does. He wants to tell Roman to take him to his bed so that the royal can show him how much of a man he is but he doesn't. "You look amazing," is what he says instead. His voice comes out breathless and he unconsciously licks his dry lips before biting on his bottom lip.

His damn cardiovascular organ remembers how to function again when Roman walks with an undeniable confidence and authority towards him. But his heart's not functioning like it's supposed to—there's an unsteady rhythm in it. It beats so fast that Seth thinks it'll jump out of his throat before it stills for a minute too long before beating slower and then faster before it stops again and then it—fuck, Seth can't really explain what's happening. All he knows is Roman's stood in front of him now and he's holding his hand out while giving Seth a penetrating look that makes Seth warm all over.

Seth hesitates a beat, his gaze never leaving Roman's as he exhales shakily. The hand remains offered, Seth accepts it, feeling a jolt of electricity run down his entire body. His body is reacting again—like it always does when he's around Roman. Seth searches Roman's eyes when the royal lets go of his hand and steps away from him a bit. Roman's eyes look him up and down, intensely, it causes Seth to look away bashfully. "You're enchantingly beautiful, I have no words."

"Thank you," Seth whispers, allowing Roman to grab his hand once more. The royal guides them to the front door, allowing Seth to exit first. They walk hand in hand before Roman stops at a red Maserati, it's a beautiful car, and a loud color from all the black cars the man owns. Seth is waiting on the royal to open the car but finds himself trapped between it and Roman instead.

Roman's looking at him now—the intensity in his brown orbs has returned. There's a current that hangs in the air, one that's so intense, they both can't help how their souls are drawn to each other. Seth leans up to meet Roman's lips, the kiss is heated. Seth's giving as good as he gets this time—gliding his tongue against the royal's. He sucks on it and nibbles on Roman's juicy bottom lip. The need to breathe separates their lips and they royal moves his to Seth's neck. Roman places butterfly kisses on the sensitive part of his neck, causing Seth to moan. He clings to Roman's neck when the bigger man initiates a hard bite on his neck, "Roman." Seth's voice comes out strangled.

He feels Roman's lips kiss the bitten area repeatedly before the royal hugs him tighter, breathing him in. After a while Roman pulls back and opens the car for a still shaken Seth. He goes to the other side of the car and gets in as well. "So how was your day, baby?" Roman asks as he begins the drive to wherever they're going, Seth's isn't sure, the man hasn't told him anything.

Seth's not sure how long it takes for them to reach their location. He'd been too busy having an easy going conversation with Roman. When he laughs, Roman laughs like a little kid—he throws his head back and shakes his head, his lush lips stretching wide, reveal sparkling white teeth. It's an exotic look on the man's features that Seth would find himself grinning too.

Seth averts his eyes from Roman to look at the place they're at. He gasps audibly when his eyes take in the stunningly elegant restaurant. It resembles a glass house, there's two levels and he can see how classy the place is from how nicely dressed the occupants in the restaurant are. 'Thierry's,' he reads the name of the restaurant. He doesn't even know when Roman left the car but he blinks his eyes when Roman's large physique blocks his view. The man's offering his hand to him again, Seth grabs it but before he can do anything Roman kisses his neck briefly before giving the valet driver his car keys.

When they enter the restaurant, Seth knows they're underdressed, their clothes are not fitting for a restaurant of this stature at all. He can tell by how some of the rich, snobby occupants look at them with their noses upturned and in a sneering gesture. He snuggles deeper into Roman's embrace and looks away. "Welcome to Thierry's. Do you have a reservation?" The gorgeous lady at the host booth asks once they reach there. Seth doesn't miss the distaste in her eyes at their choice of clothing. He almost expects her to chase them out of the place but she says nothing more.

"Yes. The second level, under Reigns."

And the girl's eyes widen, "U-Uh, yes sir. I-I mean sirs." Seth isn't sure what's caused the stammer all of a sudden when not too long ago she looked at them like they were unworthy of being here. "Right this way." She guides them to an elevator ( yes, it's crazy. The place has a freaking glass elevator) and when they step out of the elevator, Seth thinks he's died and gone to paradise. Could this place be anymore gorgeous?

 _Apparently yes,_ he think to himself as he looks at his surroundings. The second level is an al fresco styled area, allowing one to breathe in the Miami air and appreciate the view. With the day waning, the skies take on a mixture of indigo and salmon hues and everything is so perfect. "I took the liberty of ordering for us." Roman jolts him out of his hypnotic state. Seth turns to look at the royal, watching his charmingly beautiful brown eyes sparkle—the light he finds in them draws him in. Daring him to explore every emotion he finds in the brown depths.

"Oe matagofie," Seth whispers because Roman really is gorgeous. And as clichéd as it sounds, the skies tease his beauty, making the man look like an ethereal god. Seth's beginning to think that maybe the man is a god, no one's this beautiful—this perfect.

"Who taught you that?" 

"Masina," Seth responds, "Thank you." He says when Roman gets his chair for him.

"It's a pleasure."

"So what did you get for us?"

"It's a surprise." Roman smiles, kissing Seth's knuckles softly. "I told them to give me about fifteen minutes because there's something I need to say first." Seth remains quiet, he looks into Roman's eyes and waits for him to continue. He doesn't though and a short man with long pink hair comes towards them. Roman stands up and accepts a small wrapped box from him, the man speaks enthusiastically in French before standing on his tiptoes to kiss Roman's cheeks. The man's heading for Roman's lips when Roman says something in French (And yes, he sounds so hot), the man rolls his eyes but backs off and disappears to wherever he came from.

"Who was he?" Seth asks, when Roman sits down. His tone of voice is deceptively even. But the two had talked like people who had a history. Because no man just kisses you on the lips when nothing happened between you two before, right?

"A friend," It's all Roman says but Seth wants to know more.

"Was he like a friend who was more than a friend?"

"I've never dated him if that's what you're asking. And I don't do friends with benefits. I don't do casual sex, Seth."

He feels chided, Roman's tone was hard, Seth looks away. "I'm sorry,"

"It's fine," Roman grabs his hand again. "I want to apologize too Seth. Last night…I didn't apologize for leaving like that. I am so sorry, for every hurt I've caused you. And I know you haven't forgiven me for that night," Roman hold his hand up when Seth opens his mouth to say something. "I don't hold it against you Seth. You're entitled to feel that anger. You're allowed to resent me for what I said—but I'm still sorry. And I'm sorry for all the other times too. I'm sorry for last night Seth. I got you this," Roman opens the beautifully wrapped small box and takes out a beaded bracelet. "In the Zulu culture, color represents something. You can tell a story with the different colored beads. So I got you this to tell you that I'm sorry and that I feel for you. The red—it represents how I feel for you. Red is an intense color…as are my feelings for you. The white represents my dedication to you—I pledge to be faithful to you for as long as we're together Seth."

Seth doesn't like how his throat constricts with every word Roman utters, Roman blurs from his vision, and he doesn't even know when the tears have fallen but there's _so_ much emotion in Roman's voice with each word he says. He sounds so genuine, "The blue it, uh," Roman clears his throat and blinks his eyes rapidly. He looks to be at war with himself. "It symbolizes the loneliness I've felt before you came into my life Seth. Before you—it's just been me. Even with a few of my family here, I still went home alone at night. With you here, I-I hope we make this work. I love having you with me Seth. And the green means contentment—you don't know how content I am right now…with you. The, uh, the shape" there's embarrassment in the deep voice this time and Seth swears the royal looks like he's blushing. "The triangular design of the bracelet, it uh, means you're taken. You're mine Seth and I'm yours too for as long as you want me."

Roman's moving from his side of the table to get to Seth, he crouches in front of him and wraps the bracelet around Seth's right wrist, fastening the item. It fits his hand perfectly, Seth realizes. Roman kisses his wrist before he pulls Seth up so that they're both standing. The royal cups his cheeks and brings Seth's face in for a gentle kiss. Roman doesn't seem to mind how Seth's tears smudge his face as he nibbles softly on Seth's wet lips. The moment's tender—it's more than Seth had ever envisioned.

Roman's arm draws him close by his neck and Seth hugs his waist, breathing this perfect man in. He wants to say so many things, his emotions are all over the place and he wants to tell Roman he thinks he's falling in love with him but it's too soon. He wants to tell Roman that he owns his heart but the words can't leave his lips. So many words seem to want to escape from his lips but he says nothing. He hugs Roman tighter instead, and allows his heart to do all the talking for him, hoping that their closeness will tell the Roman everything he wants him to know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all know this is long already, so please enjoy.

Seth wakes up to a cold bed—the space where Roman had been laying just last night with his arm around him is now painfully empty. He sits up on the somewhat disorderly bed, running a flat palm on the creased white sheets as he wracks his brains, trying to figure out just why exactly Roman isn't beside him. It's the weekend after all and a glance at the bedside clock tells him that only ten minutes remain until it hits five o'clock in the morning.

Last night had been perfect, after Roman's apology, they'd had a five course meal—French cuisine that had been mouthwatering. And Seth had found out sometime during their dinner that Roman had reserved the whole second floor for them—to ensure they had privacy. Roman even sacrificed wearing formal wear to a restaurant he knew very well didn't accept casual wear to ensure that Seth didn't feel embarrassed. And when they'd come back home, Roman had bypassed his room to join Seth in his. They'd even—

His body heats up and Seth shakes his head to erase last night's memory. But it can't be erased—not when he's moving off the bed and feels the telltale signs of dried cum on his back. No, they hadn't had sex—or penetrative sex, rather. They would've, they'd been _so_ close to having it, after a particularly heated shower. The only reason things had come to a halt is because Roman doesn't own the right equipment for sex—no lubrication and definitely no condoms either. He apparently hasn't had sex in three years, so it's understandable. Even after they'd both confirmed they're clean—they'd decided to wait. Seth is a carrier, he doesn't want to get knocked up so soon after their relationship. There's still so much they need to learn about each other. Seth's sure Roman hasn't even told Jimmy and Naomi about them and he doesn't mind—it's not like he's told his friends either. It's still too soon and they need to enjoy their relationship first before they invite other people to divulge in their personal affairs. Dean definitely would and he has a feeling Naomi would too—the woman has a strong personality and she looks like the type to poke and prod until one has no choice but to give in.

So the only thing they'd done last night was a hand job for him while Roman rubbed himself against Seth's ass until he finally came on Seth's back. Like Seth's said before, last night? Absolutely perfect. So where is Roman now? Seth slides on a random t-shirt he picks off the floor, it's baggy, clearly belonging to Roman. He laughs lightly as he remembers how the royal had complained about him dropping their clothes on the floor. It's Roman's pet peeve—he hates it when things are left lying around disorderly. He slides on a pair of black slippers and leaves his room. He passes Roman's room, for some reason, his gut's telling him that he'll find Roman where he found him that night he patched his hands up.

His heart sinks at that because he remembers that day perfectly well. He still remembers Roman's cries and how wrecked the man had looked. He still remembers the torment in Roman's brown orbs. He just hopes that Roman is fine. His feet carry him to where the gym is and he opens the mahogany and glass door. The indoor gym is elegance personified—there's state of the art equipment. And a boxing ring, three treadmills and so many other things that Seth would mention if his mind wasn't focused on finding Roman.

His eyes find Roman when they go to the backdoor, that's entirely made of glass, allowing him to see Roman's large build that's stood outside, in nothing but navy shorts. His raven hair rests on his shoulders and his eyes seem to be fixed somewhere in the distance. The early morning teases the golden color of the sun, mixing it with what's left of last night. Seth opens the sliding door quietly and stands behind Roman for a while, appreciating the beautiful forest trees, creek and a greenhouse in the distance. He wonders how long Roman's been up—how long he's been here. The morning air has a slight breeze to it but everything else is a picture of quiet serenity, making him wonder if maybe that's why Roman came here.

Roman still hasn't noticed him and not once has he turned to the side, he keeps staring straight ahead, his hands stuffed in his pockets. Seth decides after what feels like forever to make his presence known. He slips his arms in between Roman's wind-chilled body and hugs his waist from behind, kissing the bigger man's back softly. "It's really beautiful out here," he whispers, not wanting to disrupt the peaceful atmosphere. He gets no response in return, but tells himself that there's nothing to be worried about. Maybe Roman just wants to bask in the silence and breathe in the calm of the forest. So Seth says nothing else and stares at the infinite shades of green, his arms never once moving from Roman's waist.

"You should be in bed," the words are spoken softly. And it's probably been over thirty minutes they've been standing in the open that Roman says the words. Seth's body is already covered in goosebumps from the breeze and he wonders how Roman isn't cold.

"I missed you."

Roman remains silent again and Seth isn't really sure what's going on with him. That time he patched Roman up, the man had said he had a bad dream. Did he have another bad dream again? If yes, is it a recurring thing? He wants to ask the royal, but a part of him fears being dismissed. What if Roman doesn't want to share?

Said man turns in Seth's arms so that they're looking at each other. His lips are painted in a smile that feels all too fake to Seth, his dark liquid eyes are devoid of emotion. Seth feels uneasy, "Are you okay?" he asks softly.

"Yes," Roman leans in to join their lips before Seth can ask anything else. Seth knows it's mean to distract him but he allows it. Like usual, the kiss is fiery and passionate and loving. But it's harder than usual too—Seth knows he'll be spotting swollen red lips for the rest of the day. Even around his friends.

"Is anything the matter? You…I don't know. I just feel like you're not okay." Seth says once the need to breathe separates their lips.

"I'm fine Seth. Everything's okay." Roman steps away from him, shuts his eyes and breathes in deep. Seth knows their conversation is over when Roman opens his eyes—they're clearer, and tell him to drop it. "Are _you_ okay? Do _you_ need anything?"

"You." The sun bright smile that stretches Roman's lips warms Seth's heart. But he thinks maybe Roman's bipolar or something—he looked like he was drowning in sadness about a minute ago and he's now smiling and looking at Seth like he's the stars and the moon.

Roman pulls him closer by his waist, one big hand trailing beneath the baggy t-shirt Seth has on. "You look good in my clothes," the royal says. His right hand cups an asscheek, before groping and rubbing on it lovingly. Seth grips his shoulders when Roman places a butterfly kiss on the place between neck and shoulder. "All I want Seth, is to feel your warmth. I want to feel you welcome me home." Roman's turning him around with each word he utters. "Bend over a bit." Seth obeys, he bends a bit, spreading his legs, and balances his hands against the glass walls. "Beautiful," Roman grips his shaft firmly causing Seth to moan. They'd done this last night as well, just because they can't have penetrative sex, doesn't mean they can't have a little fun.

Roman's strokes start slow and teasing, he runs his hand up and down Seth's length feeling the brunet's shaft harden beneath his touch. He runs his thumb on the thick mushroom head, rubbing on it in circles before rubbing the leaking slit. Seth cries out loud and thrusts his length into Roman's hand that's now pumping him faster and harder from base to tip, the royal twisting his hand every so often when he reaches Seth's mushroom head, "Feels so good." Seth's moans brokenly. Roman pulls Seth's hips back to him with his left hand, the hand going down to massage Seth's balls, his long hard strokes never cease as he moves his left hand lower to tap on and tease Seth's perineum, a spot he knows is rich in nerve endings.

Seth screams when a fistful of his hair is gripped in a painful hold. Roman joins their lips, his hips pressing Seth against the wall to grind his length into Seth's bare ass. His strokes are untamed as are his thrusts into Seth's ass. And it's so dirty, the way their bodies move, the way their tongues glide and suck on each other. "You're never going to walk straight again, Seth. Once I have you, what I'll give you is all you're ever going to want. Your mouth," The words are doing something to him, shivers of lust run down Seth's spine. A gush of precum spills out of his heavy shaft and he shudders as Roman continues, "Your mouth Seth, it will be a vessel for my dick. I promise you, that."

Seth feels like he's going to lose a bit of hair with how much his hair is being pulled, but it somehow increases his pleasure, all his senses are being stimulated. Roman's stroking and teasing his length in long vicious strokes, he's pressing him against the window with each thrust his clothed dick makes into his ass. It doesn't help Seth any, how Roman keeps grunting and breathing into his ear, making his body feel like a burning furnace. Seth accepts the hard kiss Roman initiates, the royal running his skilled tongue along the roof of his mouth, causing Seth to moan uncontrollably.

Roman only releases his mouth when breathing becomes a necessity. Seth's head is pressed against the wall, and the brunet arches his back, pushing his ass back to Roman's clothed dick, he gyrates against the royal's length and succumbs to the pleasure of Roman's hand working him.

Their moans and grunts sound in the peaceful area, the sounds increasing with each stroke and thrust that brings them closer and closer to fulfillment. Seth comes first, with a splash on Roman's hand and the transparent walls, he screams Roman's name. Like last night, Roman's vicious in his strokes, and wilder in his thrusts. His left hand grips Seth's hip in a bruising hold and he thrusts into Seth's ass so hard, he may as well be fucking him. Seth's cheek presses deeper into the walls with each shove Roman's shaft makes into his ass. A drawn out groan leaves Roman's lips when he comes, Seth feels it too, with the way Roman holds onto him tighter and squeezes his shaft harder, almost to the point of being painful.

Time seems suspended as they come down from their high—Roman's hands rest on his waist, his head resting on Seth's shoulder. Once his senses return, Seth's eyes widen as a thought comes to mind, "Roman! What if they saw us?!" He's more worried about Masina than he is about Manuia and Bobby. Masina's slowly starting to feel like the mother he never had and he doesn't think he'd be able to look her in the eyes if she saw them—somehow. Roman's chuckling into his shoulder and it frustrates him to no end. "It's not funny, I don't think I'll ever be able to look Masina in the eye if she saw us." Seth groans.

Roman turns him around again, he grips Seth's brown mane, gentler this time, and brings a worried Seth's lips to his. "Relax. Masina has her own compound—a distance away from here. Near Bobby and Manuia's compound. It's a Saturday, she's probably still asleep or doing whatever it is she does on weekends. She rarely comes to this part of the house anyway." He hugs Seth against him and breathes him in, a deep sigh leaving his lips. "Go take a shower. I'll clean up this mess."

***

Seth steps inside the shower immediately the water heats up, he braces his hands against the granite walls and allows the hot water to pelt his tired body. It's still too early for him to be awake, especially on a weekend, but maybe he's already getting used to the idea of having Roman beside him because his body had seemed to sense that the other man wasn't beside him somehow, and he'd just jolted awake. Or maybe he'd just missed the warmth of the royal.

Seth isn't going to lie though and say he isn't worried about Roman, because he is. He knows that what they did not too long ago was used a distraction. Why Roman feels he would need to hide some things from him, Seth isn't sure. But he also knows not to pry—for now, at least—maybe Roman feels it's too soon to share. And it's not like they've had the time to have a heart to heart about their pasts and their lives. Last night's dinner was lighthearted, they'd teased each other and Roman had told him about the things he's passionate about. They'd talked about the foundation Roman's beginning, and how the developments are coming along. They'd talked about school, how Seth's adjusting, but Seth hadn't mentioned Elias when Roman had asked if he's made any friends yet. He doesn't think Roman would appreciate him having Elias as a friend somehow.

"Fuck, you scared me." Seth jumps, when Roman's arms tighten around him. He elbows Roman's stomach when Roman laughs lowly. "You're insatiable." He says, feeling Roman's length tease his cleft.

"I am," Seth can hear the smirk in the royal bastard's voice. "It's all your fault, Seth."

Seth stops his hand from gripping his length, "Well you're going to have take care of yourself. I have to get ready for my friends, they're coming today, remember?"

Roman groans, taking the bodywash from Seth, "I remember. I'll be sharing you with your friends for the next two days. I'm just beaming with joy!" Seth doesn't miss the sarcasm in Roman's voice.

He turns to face the wall when Roman tells him to and allows the royal to wash his body, Roman's gentle in his ministrations. Seth moans softly when Roman crouches on one knee behind him and washes his ass and legs, the man bites and sucks on his ass lightly before getting up to face him. "I met them before I met you so you'll have to share me with them. Haven't you heard? Sharing is caring."

"Like hell, it is." Roman snorts, allowing Seth to wash his body as well. The brunet gestures for Roman to bend his head slightly so he can wash the royal's lustrous jetblack locks. He laughs at Roman's groan of pleasure when he massages his scalp. "I'm never washing my own hair again. You're so good at this."

"As long as you pay me. Nothing's free in this world."

"Is my dick payment enough?"

Seth grabs a fluffy towel to wrap their bodies together, "If you talk this dirty in a normal conversation, I wonder how dirty you talk during actual sex."

"You'll find out soon enough," Roman kisses the back of his neck and grabs the towel from Seth. "I'll meet you at the breakfast room. I'll go get dressed."

Seth nods his head, allowing Roman to exit his room. He pulls on a pair of black boxer briefs and black shorts. He then puts on a grey loose fitting tank top and ties his hair into a messy bun. He sprays a bit of cologne and slides on his flip flops. He isn't sure what Dean and Xavier will want to do once they get here, but he hopes they're not planning on going sightseeing or doing something crazy. In fact, all Seth wants to do is have a relaxed day at home, with his boyfriend. But of course, he can't have everything he wants, now can he?

He wonders whether Roman and him will be able to be discreet enough about their relationship. He hopes so, otherwise Dean, the arrogant brat, won't let him hear the end of it. He grabs his phone and leaves his room. It's nearing six-thirty in the morning and his friends won't be here for another five hours. Still plenty of time for him and Roman to act all loved up and cuddly and shit. The thought causes Seth to grin to himself. The delicious aromas of different foods hit him when he nears the kitchen. He finds Roman in the kitchen with Masina, their backs are turned to him and the royal has his hand on the middle-aged woman's shoulder as they speak softly. He's reminded of a mother and his son as he looks at the two, the love between them is pure and so genuine. He remembers Masina's words—about how Roman's quick to give love to family and friends. Her words are true—he sees the truth of them as he looks at the two.

Masina laughing heartily takes him out of his thoughts, he notices both Roman and Masina's eyes are on him. Fond smiles on their faces, he was the topic of their conversation, he can tell. He gives Roman a raised eyebrow causing the royal to grin boyishly, "She, uh, she—"

"I don't know why he's acting all shy all of a sudden. You're good for him, Seth. Make sure he remembers how to have fun, he's so serious, half the time."

Seth blushes, but nods affirmative to Masina. "I'll try my best." He goes to join them near the stoves, "What are we eating?"

"What do you want?"

"Hash browns, scrambled eggs and pancakes. Do you guys have mango juice?"

Roman frowns in distaste, "You drink _mango_ juice?"

"It's my favorite kind," Seth's words are accompanied by a moan. His tongue's practically tasting the goodness that is mango juice.

"Roman's not a big fan of anything with mangoes. He _loathes_ mango juice with a passion." Masina says.

Seth's eyes open at that, "Really? So does that mean you guys don't buy anything with mango? You guys don't have mango juice?" There's lighthearted disappointment in his voice.

"Masina will get it, she's due to buy the grocery anyway. Right, Masina?"

The dark skinned woman pats Seth's cheek gently, while Roman kisses the other one. Seth feels so loved, it's endearing, he's being wrapped up in all these different beautiful emotions. "I'll get it today."

Roman grabs his hand and leads them to the breakfast room. "We're having a BBQ later. Naomi sent me a message. And it's no use trying to argue with her. She's so damn stubborn."

Despite the complaint, Seth doesn't miss the love in Roman's voice when talking about Naomi. "You seem very fond of her." He thanks Masina when she places a plate filled with his breakfast in front of him. Seth pours syrup on his pancakes and hands the bottle to Roman who takes the bottle from him but not without kissing his knuckles softly.

"She's like the sister I never had."

"So you'd squeeze your sister's ass. Isn't that a bit weird?" The words rush to Seth's mouth before he can stop them. Roman's chuckle turns into a choke because of the juice he was drinking. Seth rubs his back, his eyes widening. "Shit! I'm sorry—"

"It's fine," Roman wipes his lips with a napkin. "I should've swallowed first. So you were watching me on that day, huh?" the arrogant asshole is smirking, an expression that says 'I'm the shit' etching his features. He leans back on his chair and sips on his juice, while waiting for Seth to respond.

"I was," it's no use hiding it. "You were an arrogant, Adonis looking, son of a bitch."

"I prefer Roman looking, Adonis is not an attractive name."

"You just prefer Roman because that's your name."

"Of course, Roman sounds so much better. It has that zeal, and it doesn't hurt that the owner of the name complements how powerful the name sounds."

"Whatever," Seth rolls his eyes. "So do you only have brothers then?"

"I'm an only child," Roman says. "But I consider Manuia and the twins my brothers."

Okay, Seth didn't know about any twins. Who are they? And how has he not met them before? Or maybe they live in Lanuola like most of Roman's family. "There are twins in your family?"

"Jimmy and Jey."

"Jimmy's a twin?!" Seth's voice reveals his awe. He's never been around a lot of twins, the only twins he knew was during his highschool days, a _long_ time ago. They weren't identical though, and their personalities couldn't have been more different. They were girls and one was thicker than the other, also more popular because of how loud she was. She didn't take nonsense from anyone, and protected her twin like crazy. He doesn't remember their names though. They started with P, he thinks. "What does his twin look like?"

"Like Jimmy. They're identical but I can tell them apart. Not a lot of family members can though." Roman laughs and he gets a distant look in his eyes, as if reminiscing about the old times. "When we were younger, we looked so alike that my mom couldn't tell us apart sometimes. So when one of us did something wrong, we'd pretend to be each other. We wore the same clothes too, so our parents would go around in circles trying to find the culprit until they basically punished all of us because we wouldn't rat each other out."

"Oh my god," Seth laughs, covering his mouth with his hand. He bets Roman was cute as a child and he can just imagine three replicas running around and confusing their parents. "I feel sorry for your parents. I'm sure it was worse for your sitters."

"You don't even want to know. We were a bunch of rascals, I can't count the number of times we got spankings from our parents."

Seth shakes his head and smiles, Roman's eyes are sparkling again. In that way they always do when he lets his guard down. "You sound like you had a great childhood."

"I did," Roman clears his throat and pushes his empty plate away from him. "It was…nice."

Not so enthusiastic this time, in fact the bright look Roman spotted just a few seconds ago, dims a bit. Seth decides to change the topic, the tone of Roman's voice tells him it wouldn't be wise to probe further. "So when are Naomi and Jimmy coming over?"

"Around ten." Seth grabs their plates, following Roman who's grabbed their glasses. "They are coming with their daughter, Leilani."

That makes Seth nervous, he's not really good with kids. "What does she look like?"

"A younger version of Jimmy. You'll love her. She's a little ball of energy." He probably will but Seth wonders if the kid will love him too. Xavier would probably stand a better chance, he exudes a warm homely aura. The exact opposite of Randy, but it's how they gel so well together. Where Randy's cold and rude, Xavier is warm and kind.

"I'm not that great a cook but I can man the grill. I can also make a few delicious salads. So I can start on a few things before Jimmy and Naomi get here." Seth says.

"It's a bit early. We'll start at nine," Roman grabs his hand and leads them out of the kitchen. "We can go for a swim, the water's warm enough. Or we can just relax outside. Or whatever you want to do really." They exit the kitchen, entering the breakfast room which has the sliding glass door leading to the modern terrace with an outdoor fireplace and a cliff-edge swimming pool. There's a few green plants decorating the area, a few grey and green bean couches are scattered around as well. Roman leads them to the elegant emerald couches and they settle together, both of them laying on their sides so that they're facing each other.

Seth watches the different shades of brown dance in his boyfriend's eyes. Okay, so it's the second time he's calling Roman his boyfriend. They haven't even discussed what they are to each other. "Roman, what are we?" The question shoots past his lips before he has the chance to stop himself.

"What do you want us to be?"

Seth shakes his head, Roman isn't going to do that to him. He needs to be the one who tells Seth what he wants them to be. Seth already knows what Roman is to him, he's called the man his boyfriend in his head twice now. But still—Roman needs to say it first. So that Seth doesn't embarrass himself. "What do _you_ want us to be?"

"Boyfriends," the word leaves Roman's lips so easily. "We're boyfriends." The royal nods his head to himself, as if he's decided and no one can change his mind.

Seth leans in to kiss _his boyfriend's_ lips gently, their tongues glide against each other softly, they're sealing their new relationship status with a kiss. Seth sighs against Roman's lips when the kiss ends, "Boyfriends it is, then." The tender moment is interrupted by the ringing of a phone. Seth knows it's his and it's in his back pocket. "Please get it for me." He tells Roman because it's a mission for him to reach behind his pocket.

Roman complies, and gets the phone with a little difficulty. He hands the phone to Seth without looking at it. Seth's heart thuds inside his chest when he sees it's Elias who's calling. Roman's looking at him, eyebrow raised in curiosity and Seth's grateful when Elias hangs up before he can answer. "Who was it?"

"A friend from Tampa," Seth replies, not meeting Roman's eye. He doesn't want to lie to Roman but what if the man overreacts? What if he leaves like the last time? Seth isn't in the mood for a fight. Who knows how bad it will get this time? He looks at Roman, the man's orbs are unreadable, but he hopes Roman believes him. His heart's still beating inside his ribcage as Roman joins their lips.

"Your heart's beating kinda fast."

"It happens every time you're around me." Seth says the words against Roman's lips. The royal gets a lazy grin that does something to Seth, he rests his head on Roman's shoulder, feeling Roman's arm tighten around his waist. His eyes go to the Zulu bracelet Roman got for him, "I never thanked you for my gift. For the whole of last night actually. Everything was perfect, so thank you."

"Anything for you, baby."

"Can we just enjoy this? The silence and the fresh air and the nature?"

Roman doesn't respond, but he kisses Seth's forehead and tightens his hold on the brunet's waist. Seth feels the royal's steady heartbeat and allows Roman's intoxicating scent to envelope him in sunny warmth.

***

Seth's working on his second salad--warm new potato and artichoke salad--when he hears the front door being closed loudly and Naomi's loud voice, warning someone to stop running around the house. The loud little patters run around the house accompanied by a small voice shouting, "Unca Roman! Unca Roman!"

Seth looks back at Roman, who's getting the Dijon mustard from the fridge. A grin paints his lips when a little girl runs into the kitchen and jumps into Roman's arms. Her thick curls bounce when Roman throws her into the air before catching her again. "Hey Leilei," Roman buries his face into her neck to make fart sounds.

"Ugh! The brat doesn't listen." Naomi enters the kitchen, looking as beautiful as ever in a yellow sundress, a denim jacket and white strapless heels. Her hair runs down her back, and her make-up looks all natural. She's gorgeous. "Oh hey boo." Naomi walks towards Seth and kisses both his cheeks. "What are you making?"

"Um the salads," Seth blushes a little. He looks back at Roman who's still holding Leilani in his arms. The little girl looks exactly like Roman, but she also looks like Jimmy. She's doe-eyed though with rosy cheeks, her complexion resembling Naomi's lightly. Seth's mind goes to Bambi as looks at her. She's adorable but creepy too. She keeps looking at him with her big eyes, reminding Seth of that night he woke up in the living room to Roman looking at him. He gives the little girl a small wave, causing Roman to grin, the royal whispers something into Leilani's ear and lets her stand on her own feet. The little girl runs towards him and before Seth knows it his left leg is being hugged tightly by the little creature. "Uh, hey little one." He pats her shoulder gently and looks back at Roman. The royal shrugs and greets Jimmy who's just entered the kitchen.

"Seth, my guy. I see Leilani's met you, huh." Jimmy looks at the two. Leilani is following Seth towards the fridge where the brunet's placing the last salad in the fridge. "She's not a people person. What did you bribe her with?" Jimmy laughs.

"Uh, nothing." Seth shrugs, tidying up the mess he created. "I'm not even used to kids, to be honest. How old is she?"

"She's five."

"I'm right here, you guys!" Leilani pipes in.

Roman laughs and goes to help Seth with the mess, "She's too intelligent for her good."

"Can I watch Donald Duck, unca Roman?"

"Yes, sweetheart." Roman bends to kiss the little girl's cheek softly. "You know how to use everything, right?"

Leilani jumps up and down, causing her thick brown curls to cover her face. "Course, I do. I'm a big girl, unca Roman." Roman moves the curls from her face and kisses her forehead softly one final time before allowing her to run off in the direction of the living room.

"So how are you adjusting to Miami?" Jimmy asks.

"It's going okay," Seth's eyes unconsciously shift to Roman, a timid smile tugging at his lips when he notices that Roman's eye is already on him.

"Just okay?" Naomi asks, curiously.

"I mean, I can't complain." Seth shrugs. "Everything's just going…okay."

"Mhmph." Seth turns his attention to Naomi, she's eyeing him. Her eyes gleam with something Seth can't read. He decides to pay her no mind.

"I brought the meat, uce." Jimmy gestures to the counter on the other side. "I'll get started on it." Jimmy opens the drawers, and takes out two bowls and the spices. "Where is the giant?"

"He should be heading back here. He accompanied the pilot to fetch Seth's _friends._ " Seth rolls his eyes, Roman's really not looking forward to sharing him. He's been complaining since earlier this morning. There's no real heat to his words though, probably because the man knows he's the only one Seth wants. Seth hopes Roman knows it, because he really doesn't want anyone else.

His phone chirps with a message, and Seth sighs in relief to see that it's not Elias. The man hasn't tried to call him again and he's grateful for it. He doesn't want to spend his time worrying about Elias calling him. He unlocks his phone and reads the message from Dean, they're on their way and should be in Miami in thirty minutes. "Dean says they're own their way." He tells Roman. They are taking the dirty dishes to the dishwasher. Roman discreetly stands behind him and grips his waist lightly. "What are you doing?" Seth questions quietly. He looks around, and Naomi's working on the meat with Jimmy, they're both loud as hell, and throwing the spices at each other. They've got a loving, fun relationship, Seth can clearly see it in their actions.

"I want to taste your lips."

"You can't," Seth moves away from him. "Do Jimmy and Naomi even know about us?"

"We'll tell them once we make it past a month."

Seth can't argue with that. At least they'll spend this month getting to know each other better. "Okay. So until then, you can't touch me in front of them. They'll know something's up."

Roman grabs his right hand and begins pulling him out of the kitchen, "Let's go to my office then."

"Roman, wait." Seth pulls his hand away. "I think Naomi suspects something." He looks at her and she's no longer focused on Jimmy but rather looking at them curiously. "Just go on your own. You'll have me later tonight."

"You promise?"

Seth rolls his eyes, "I do. Now go join your niece or something."

"Sir, yes sir!" Roman salutes him and disappears from the kitchen. Seth smiles after the royal idiot, Roman looks happier than he did earlier this morning. It makes Seth happy too, Roman's happiness is his happiness.

Dean and Xavier arrive fourty-five minutes later, Seth can hear the sound of the chopper outside. He looks out the large glass windows and sees the helicopter land on the helipad, a distance away on the manicured grounds. "Those your friends?" Jimmy asks, when he comes back from the backyard.

"Yes," Seth's grinning wide. He spots Dean's ginger hair as he steps out of the helicopters after Manuia. The man has a small suitcase in his hand, and he almost falls but Manuia balances him while Xavier grabs his bag from him. Seth hopes the man isn't drunk, it's too early and that would just be embarrassing. He waves from the window when Xavier spots him, the smaller man is glowing, he also looks a little bit thicker.

He goes to meet them at the front door when he hears it opening. "Deano." Seth jumps into his friend's arms and is grateful when Dean doesn't fall with him. Good, it means he isn't drunk. He giggles loudly when Dean spins him around. His slightly opened eyes zoom in on Roman who is staring at the whole altercation with an unamused look on his face. Seth rolls his eyes and sticks his tongue out at him.

"Hey, princess." Dean laughs at Seth's groan. "You guys fucked yet?" he whispers into Seth's ear, his eyes locked on Roman.

Seth pushes him away, sweet Xavier is next. "Hey, you." Xavier punches his arm lightly.

"I missed you so much, Xav." Seth crushes the smaller man into a hug, and kisses his thick black hair softly. "How's school? How's work? How's everything going in Tampa?"

"Slow down with the questions, cowboy." Xavier laughs. "How about you get us settled in first?"

Seth facepalms, "Of course." He looks at Roman who's stood near the stairway. "I'll go show them their rooms?"

"Alright. It's a pleasure seeing you two again," at least the man's nice enough to tell his friends that. Seth rewards him with a flicker of a smile. At least Roman's trying.

"Follow me, you guys." Seth leads them up the stairs. "Pick any room you want, like the last time."

He notes that the two pick the rooms they did the last time. They come back a few minutes later and they all head downstairs. They meet Leilani running into the kitchen. "Who's the elf?" Dean asks.

"She's not an elf," Seth rolls his eyes. "Her name's Leilani. Remember Jimmy said he has a daughter?"

"Really?" Seth looks back at his friend. Dean looks genuinely lost to the news. "You don't remember?"

"No," Dean shakes his head. They enter the kitchen to find Naomi and Leilani alone. "She your daughter?" Dean asks Naomi.

"Yup," Naomi confirms. "Here, eat this for now, sweetie." Naomi gives Leilani a small plastic plate with three cookies.

"This isn't what I like though," Leilani complains all the while accepting the plate from her mom.

"This is creepy as hell. This little kid looks like Roman, except her eyes are huge as fuck."

"Dean!" Seth shouts, horrified.

"Mommy! He said a bad word." Leilani goes to Dean and opens her left hand. "Pay up. You owe me a dollar."

"She's joking, right?" Dean's question is met with silence, everyone's looking at him. And Leilani's bugeyes narrow in on him. "Fine!" Dean sighs. "I can't believe I'm being bullied by a child and you guys aren't even helping out. Aren't you supposed to be my friends?"

Xavier shrugs and looks away. "Ooh, what are these?" The dark skinned man walks towards the counter. He grabs a snack of cucumber toppers. Xavier moans, his eyes closing at the delicious goodness that explodes in his mouth.

"Do you guys think we can take this party outside?" Jimmy enters the kitchen. He picks Leilani up and sets her plate on the counter. "Where'd you get this?"

"He said a bad word. 'S good for me, I got a dollar."

"Why this little—"

"Dean!" Seth speaks up again. "Look, let's all just go outside, okay?"

Xavier takes the tray with cucumber toppers with him. "Fine by me. I need the sun."

Seth gives him a weird look but says nothing. The backyard is huge, there's tennis courts and a basketball court not too far away. There's another pool, different from the one where him and Roman were resting earlier. It's just as huge and has fancy slides. Dean runs back into the house, shouting, "I gotta change for the pool!"

It earns laughter from everyone outside. "Roman, you'll handle the meat on your own, man. I think I'm gonna join him." Jimmy says, eyeing Dean. Seth's dimpled friend is back and is cannon balling into the pool.

"I wanna join too!" Leilani shouts, running after her father.

"I'll go change into something less," Naomi goes in the direction her family left to.

Seth looks at Xavier, the dark skinned man is seated on the chairs, the tray filled with cucumber toppers sat on his lap. He nibbles on the snack while typing away on his phone with the other. Roman's manning the grill on the other side, and Seth bites his bottom lip. Roman looks good, he's wearing black trunks and an apron. Sweat runs down his strong back, his raven hair falling on his shoulders. Seth watches the way his muscles ripple with every movement. Seth goes to him and touches his elbow lightly. "I thought you said you don't know how to cook."

Roman doesn't respond immediately, he looks around before leaning down to give Seth a quick peck on the lips. "This, I can do. All I have to do is make sure the meat doesn't burn." Roman flips the steak on the grill.

"You look so hot doing this," Seth whispers. "There's only one thing that'd make you look hotter."

Roman raises an eyebrow, "Oh?"

"If you babarcued the meat in just the apron and nothing else," Seth whispers into Roman's ear seductively.

"We'll have to do that one day. You'll walk around naked and look all sexy for me and I'll wear nothing but the apron."

"It's a deal." Their eyes lock on each other. The pull tugs them towards each other, and they've forgotten about their surroundings. Roman's lips are practically brushing against Seth's when they're disrupted by a small voice.

"Again!" Leilani giggles. Their attention turn towards the pool. Dean is doing flips in the water, causing Leilani to giggle and mimic the older man. They both head to the slides, Leilani getting a piggyback ride from Dean. Dean lets the little girl climb first and she disappears into the slide, before landing with a splash inside the water.

"Your friend's crazy." Roman chuckles, looking at Dean. The auburn-haired man is now playing chicken with Leilani on his team while Naomi and Jey are on the other team.

"I know," Seth laughs. "I love him for it."

"Love?"

Seth looks back at Roman, "As a friend." He explains, touching Roman's arm gently. "I love him as a friend. Nothing else."

Roman nods his head, "Go join them. Naomi's getting all investigative again. She knows something's up."

Seth goes to sit besides Xavier and slides on his sunglasses. "You're awfully lazy today."

"Just tired."

"What? Randy isn't allowing you any sleep?"

Xavier snorts in return and places the empty tray besides him on the ground. "More like I'm keeping him up."

Seth slides his sunglasses up to look at Xavier. He's surprised by two things. First, Xavier doesn't like talking about sex. And second, Xavierdoesn't like having sex that much. So yes, it's a surprise that the younger man is the one demanding it from Randy. "Really?"

"I just—I don't know what he's done to me." Xavier smiles. "Maybe he gave me Viagra or something. I want to have sex all the time, you know?"

No, Seth doesn't know. But he's got a bit of an idea though, with the way things are with Roman, he won't be surprised if he ends up wanting sex all the time like Xavier. He's gotten a hint of what Roman's about, and he can't wait for the real deal. "Not really but as long as you're both enjoying it."

"Randy knows what he's doing in the bedroom Seth. I mean I know he's my first, but I don't think I'd ever want another one after him. He's perfect and he takes care of me. He's all I've ever wanted."

Seth's seen it, Randy genuinely loves his friend. It must be Xavier's innocence that drew the man in. The two have been together since Xavier was nineteen and Randy was thirty two. Yes, Randy's thirteen years older than Xavier but they make it work. Like Seth said before, they gel well because they're perfect opposites. "As long as you're happy."

"You know I am." Seth brings Xavier in for a hug before kissing the man's cheek. "This is gorgeous." Xavier says, grabbing Seth's right hand to look at his bracelet. "Where'd you get it?"

And the stammers begin, "I, uh, y-yesterday… I bought i-it at this African store."

"It's gorgeous. Maybe I should get Randy one, you'll take me, right?"

Seth mentally curses, he doesn't even know where Roman bought the bracelet. And what if it's super expensive? What if Roman bought it at those expensive stores they shop at? "I don't know the street. But I'll ask Manuia, yeah?"

"Cool."

"Food's ready!" Roman shouts.

Seth gets up and walks hand in hand with Xavier. He looks around and spots Manuia with a plateful of meat and a beer on the other hand. He shakes his head and pats his tummy when Roman's bodyguard looks at him. "You eating all that food on your own?"

"Obviously, Bobby will help me get rid of the calories."

Seth rolls his eyes. Of course, what else would Manuia say? He grabs his plate from Roman, their hands touching lightly. "Thank you." He tells the royal.

"Only the best for you," Roman grabs his plate and they walk side by side towards the patio to join the others.

Roman takes the seat next to Seth, a glass of whisky in front of him. It makes Seth wonder if Roman drinks beer at all. "Seth, did I tell you about the scandal involving Prof. Del Rio?"

Seth takes a bite of his burger and covers his mouth, "What'd he do?" He asks, chewing on the meaty burger.

"So you'll love this," Dean cackles. "Oh god, I wish you'd been there! So you know he was fucking that girl who sits at the back of the glass. The one with the black hair, Paige."

The whole table's quiet everyone waiting for Dean to continue. "Yeah?"

"So his wife, she—" Dean starts cackling again. "Oh god, it's on tape. I-I don't know how she found out but she followed him to Paige's place. And then shit got nasty. There was kicking and screaming, and Paige was left in her underwear. Del Rio, you can see his tiny dick on camera. I don't even know why those two were fighting over someone who clearly looks like he can't satisfy anyone with that teeny weeny thing he calls—"

"Wait! Where's my daughter?" Naomi breaks the conversation.

Everyone's eyes widen, all of them clearly having forgotten Leilani could've heard the whole conversation. The sound of water splashing alerts them that the little girl's swimming all by her lonesome. "She looks so bored by herself," Naomi sighs. "Roman you need to settle down and start a family soon. My daughter needs someone to play with."

"Haha. You should Manuia that. He's the one with a partner, not me."

Manuia looks horrified and shakes his head furiously, "Hell no! I don't want those _things._ They're just, ugh, let Dean continue with the story."

"Thank you," Dean chuckles. "Now as I was saying before I was rudely interrupted, Prof's suspended buuut the wife didn't end there. She put his pictures all over campus, the pictures all said, 'He can't make it past five minutes. Professor Two Minute Noodles'.

The table bursts out in laughs, "You're lying." Jimmy guffaws.

"Hey, I swear," Dean has a shit eating grin on his lips. "Seth knows the two were having an affair."

"They were," Seth confirms. "I just never thought, it'd end so badly."

The conversations on the table are flowing, there's laughs, there's teasing and Seth remains quiet. He observes his friends, how well they're getting along with the people Roman considers his family. The atmosphere causes his heart to flutter in joy, there's so much love radiating off of everyone. He feels Roman's hand crawl to his thigh lightly before the man grabs his hand to join it with his bigger one. Seth looks at him, Roman has a lopsided grin gracing his lips. He's drawn to the man looking back at him like he's the stars and the moon. He wants to kiss Roman's lips but he can't, not in front of everyone.

Roman seems to know what he's thinking. The royal gestures with his eyes towards the house. Seth nods his head softly and looks back at his friends. "I've got a business call to make. Please, excuse me." Roman leaves the table and goes towards the house.

Seth eats his baked fries for a while, he makes sure that at least a bit of time has passed before getting up as well. "I forgot that I need to call Kofi. He sent me a message to call him urgently. I'll be back in a minute." The others hardly pay attention to him but Naomi's curious ass eyes him with an expression that reminds him of Elias. It says, 'You couldn't come up with something better'. He wants to roll his eyes at her and tell her, "Bitch no," but he says nothing and heads towards the house.

He finds Roman waiting for him at the front door. The door opens and Seth enters, it closes after Roman's entered. His lips are devoured the minute the click of the door sounds, Roman pulls Seth closer and gropes his ass. Seth moans at the feel of Roman's big hands fondling his ass, he doesn't even know when they've moved but he finds himself being slammed against a door, not too hard though. Roman grips his hands and pins them above his head, Seth struggles against the stronghold. Roman doesn't let go and moves to Seth's neck instead. A particularly hard bite causes Seth to groan blissfully.

"You're the hottest sight, Seth." The words send a shiver down Seth's spine. He grinds helplessly against Roman's hard shaft, a breathless groan sounding when their shafts grind together, creating sweet friction. Roman opens a door, pushing them inside before closing it. They resume their grinding, and Seth gasps when he finds himself being turned around and slammed into the mahogany door. He closes his eyes, feeling his shorts being lowered. His aching shaft rubs against the door, it's sweet assault on his senses.

He hears Roman's own shorts falling to the ground, the royal joining their hands on the door. The grinding against his cleft begins, and Seth succumbs to the pleasure. His breathing is heavy, delicious tingles race down his entire body as Roman holds his hips in a bruising hold. Seth's own hand travels to his heavy dick, he strokes as hard as Roman grinds against him. He can feel Roman breathing down his neck. Roman's right hand lifts to tease a nipple beneath his tank top. Seth cries out loud, his head falling on Roman's shoulder. A whimper leaves his lips when Roman feasts on his neck, his hard ministrations never once ceasing.

They come eventually, in tandem this time. Seth's face is soaked with sweat and he breathes harshly, his head resting on the door. "They're probably wondering where we are."

"They can keep wondering," Roman wipes the door with a few napkins and disposes of them in the bin. He leads Seth to the leather couch in his study. Seth finds himself straddling the royal's lap. He plays with the hair at the nape of Roman's neck. He allows Roman to join their lips in a swift kiss, "I want your friends to leave my house."

"Way to ruin the moment," Seth shakes his head. "I told you before, you're going to have to share me. Besides I go to bed with you at night."

"You do," Roman's wandering hands find themselves inside Seth's shorts. His hands are possessive as they rest on the soft skin. "And you're mine."

"Yes. And you're mine, too."

"I am." Roman says the words with a pleased grin covering his lips. Seth cups his cheeks gently and looks into his eyes. Roman's eyes reassure him—he's not in this alone. They're in it together. Roman wants this as much as he does. Kissing Roman feels like breathing in air after being deprived of it for so long, Seth feels lighter. Roman makes him feel lighter, unburdened. Once the kiss, Seth hugs the man's neck and rests his head on Roman's shoulder. Roman's hands are still firmly planted on his ass, unmoving. Seth finds that he doesn't mind. He closes his eyes and plants his lips firmly against Roman's neck, deciding that they could stay cooped up in Roman's office a little while longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for taking forever to update. I've had exams, ugh. But they're all done now. Like usual, this is long.

"Hey Seth, a couple of my friends and I are going to a chill area not too far from campus. You in?" Seth hears a voice ask behind him and it belongs to—you guessed it— _Elias_. He balances the bag on his shoulder more firmly so that it doesn't fall off and turns to face the bigger man. Seth looks around Elias to see some of these 'friends' the man spoke of—no one's standing with him. There's too many kids crowding the campus grounds though and some of them stare at him and Elias. Seth isn't sure if it's because they still think he's famous or because they're fans of Elias.

"I don't think so," he finally tells the hipster man. It's a Monday and his classes end at two which means he gets to go home early.

"Oh, come on Seth," Elias has an easygoing smile on his lips. "You're not still avoiding me, are you? Don't you think you did that enough during the weekend?"

"I…w-wasn't avoiding you," Elias's smile turns into one of amusement. The bigger man doesn't believe him at all. "Okay so what if I was? I told you my friends were coming to visit. So why did you call when you knew I'd be preoccupied with them?"

"Cause I wanted to offer y'all my services. You know…take y'all around the city. Show y'all some interesting places. We would've had a great time Seth," Elias sighs dramatically. "But you turned me down."

"Maybe another time," Seth gives Elias a small grin and turns away from him. He should get going, John's probably waiting for him already.

"How 'bout now?"

"I—"

"I ain't takin' no for an answer Seth. Damn man, aren't you tired of routine? Go out, have some fun a little. You're in one of the greatest cities in the world and you ain't seen much of it." Seth gives him a raised eyebrow. "I can tell you haven't seen much of this place. Don't even try to hide it."

"I went out yesterday," the words come out defensively. He's not a complete bore like Elias is implying—at least that's what he thinks Elias is implying.

"Really? Well that's great man. Where'd you go?"

"Bal Harbour."

Elias laughs for a good minute and Seth's about to smack that annoying laugh away when the man speaks again, "Oh, where the rich folks go? Come on Seth, those places don't count—especially for people like me. I'll admit that it's a fantasy of mine to shop there some day, it's a beautiful location after all, it's like being in a tropical wonderland, ain't it? But I still know a lot of cool places I want to take you. Places where atmosphere's relaxed and everyone's minding their business. You get to have a good time. Like that time at The Grill Lounge."

Seth considers Elias's words, he doesn't want to admit it but the hipster man's right. He hasn't seen much of Miami and going out with Dean and Xavier yesterday was a nightmare. His two friends insisted on going shopping and because Roman is Seth's future 'baby daddy' (Dean's words), they had to spend his money like a trophy wife spends her sugar daddy's money (Dean again).

So yesterday, Dean had realized his lifelong dream of driving an expensive car. He drove Roman's Maserati Gran Turismo as they made stop after stop at expensive malls and restaurants. Xavier on the other hand, had also realized his lifelong dream of spending money on expensive brands like Dolce & Gabbana, Chanel and Gucci. Roman had been very kind with his money, allowing his friends to spend all that cash, Seth knows that the royal had done it because he was happy that his friends were finally leaving though. Roman hadn't even bothered to hide his joy when the helicopter finally took off with Dean and Xavier.

Anyway, the point Seth's trying to get at is that he hasn't seen much of Miami. And maybe going out with Elias isn't be such a bad idea. Despite the drama that had followed after, he had had a great time at the pub and grill that Wednesday. And something good came out of spending time with Elias that day, he'd gotten a boyfriend. And besides, Roman knows that Seth doesn't want anyone but him. But Seth won't go anywhere with the man without seeing these 'friends' of Elias. He doesn't want the man to get any ideas—this isn't a date or anything like that.

"Where are these friends of yours?"

Elias snaps his fingers and Seth sees a flash of purple and before he knows it, he's being brought into the tightest of hugs by someone short. Seth looks down, bewildered, while Elias and a couple other guys who've appeared from nowhere laugh. "Hey," the person hugging him, a lady with purple hair, says.

"…hey," Seth struggles out of the tight hold on his waist. "Can you ease up a little? I can't breathe." He wheezes.

The lady laughs awkwardly and pulls back, "Of course. I forget my own strength sometimes."

The men with Elias laugh again. One of them, he's shorter than Seth and has short brunet hair with a thick beard, not like Elias's though, steps forward and hugs the lady's waist. "Don't let her small body deceive you. Sasha's strong as hell. I'm Finn by the way."

Okay, so short woman with purple hair is Sasha and brunet dude with an accent is Finn. Seth accepts Finn's offered hand, "Nice to meet you—both of you. Remind me not to get on her bad side, yeah?"

"Yeah, trust me, you don't wanna do that. Sasha considers herself the boss of our little group. I'm Bo," says another guy with long brown hair that's tied into a ponytail. Seth notices he's dressed in the same t-shirt as the last guy he sees in Elias's squad. That one has hair that's reddish brown if you look closely. "And this here is Curtis, he's my boyfriend."

Seth hopes he doesn't forget their names, there's Sasha, Finn, Bo and Curtis. They look like a nice bunch but he's never seen them before. Do they even attend the same classes? "Nice to meet you all. The only person I've spoken to since I got here is Elias. I needed some new company."

"Ouch," Elias places a hand on Seth's shoulder. "You just keep bruising my ego, pretty boy."

Pretty boy? So he's pretty boy, now? What is he, a goddamn teenager? Seth gives Elias one hell of a looking down, it probably isn't that effective though—the man's taller than him. And he gives Seth that amused smile he gave him a while back.

"So you're the one that's got Elias looking like a lovesick puppy?" it's Sasha who asks the question. She has a sly smile painting her lips.

"I, uh, don't know?" Seth looks back at Elias.

"He knows I like him but he just keeps giving me the cold shoulder." Elias is dramatic in his antics again. He eyes his friends sadly and juts his bottom lip out a tiny bit. He looks ridiculous.

Thankfully Bo tells him just how ridiculous he looks, "Cut that shit out, man. You look creepier than you normally do."

Elias punches his shoulder but obeys. He turns his attention to Seth, "So you in, Seth?"

Seth nods his head before he can stop himself. "Yeah. I'd be bored at home anyway." Elias cheers, earning a round of snickers from his friends. Seth changes his course of route and follows Elias and his friends. He accepts Elias's offer of carrying his bag, and takes his phone out of his pocket. There's a message from John, the man's asking where he is. Seth rolls his eyes—John Cena, ever the efficient bodyguard/driver. He sends a message telling the muscled man to fetch him at 05:00. He's honest and tells the man that he's going out with a couple of friends.

John replies less than a minute later, telling him alright and that he'll be back at the college, ten minutes before five. Seth puts his phone back in his pocket after that. There's no need to send Roman a message—he's probably busy with work.

***

"So where'd you meet Elias, Seth?" They're at an eatery/bowling alley sort of place. It's a beautiful place, very hipster-ish and vintage. They sell great food, there's beer and the music's not something Seth would normally listen to but he'll admit that they've great music taste. The Fix is the name of the restaurant. Seth wonders how Elias finds these places—they're so cool and laid back. Like that time at The Grill Lounge, everyone's having a great time and minding their own business. Elias is bowling with Bo and Curtis not too far from where they're sat but the hipster man is losing terribly.

Seth turns to look at Sasha, "Um, at the college."

"Cool," Sasha nods her head. She gulps down her second beer for that day.

A snicker escapes Finn, who's sitting with his arm around Sasha. "Ya know, he wouldn't be losing this badly if he actually _kept_ his eyes on the game _._ Bo and Curtis are wiping the floor with him."

Seth looks to where Finn is pointing. Curtis is hugging Bo and kissing his cheek repeatedly while the longhaired man keeps yelling, "B – Team! B – Team!"

"Did you give him a love potion or something? He keeps looking at you, Seth." Finn says again.

Finn's right, Seth can see a light disappointed look etching Elias's features. He has his hands on his waist and he turns to look at Seth fully, lifting his right hand to give Seth a wave. Seth waves back, and Elias's face lights up, he nods his head to Bo and Curtis and then makes a sign of a gunshot to his own head. "Come save me!" Elias yells to him above the 80s song playing on the speakers.

Seth shakes his head, he takes another sip of his beer. "Oh come on, Sethie." Sasha rolls a strand of purple hair on her finger. "Make my poor friend happy for once. Do you know how long the lovesick puppy's been pining after you?"

"Sasha…" Finn starts.

"Chill, Finn." Sasha places a small kiss on Finn's cheek and rolls her eyes at him. "He needs to know. Anyway, as I was saying, Elias has spoken nonstop about you. He always gets this creepy dreamy look on his face—it's just weird." Sasha shakes her head and blinks her eyes as if she wants to get the image out of her head. "I've never seen him like this with anyone he brought to us. Us being, Finn and I—we're everyone's parents. Just give my baby boy a chance."

"I have a boyfriend."

Sasha's face falls in disappointment, "Nooo."

"Yes,"

"How? When? Who? Whyyy?"

"She's so dramatic," Finn chuckles.

"How can you laugh at a time like this? Our son is unhappy. Everyone in our squad has a partner. My…my baby doesn't. Seth reconsider, please?"

Seth stares at her, bewildered, is this woman serious? _Duh,_ his mind tells him—Sasha is looking at him expectantly after all. "Uh…"

"Seth, I need you to save me." Elias comes to his rescue…or maybe not. Seth feels his hot breath fanning his cheek, the hipster man's lips are so, so close to touching his skin.

"You'd probably lose worse than you're losing now. I suck at bowling."

"I'll teach you, man. _Please, please_ come help me wipe the silly smirks off those clowns' faces."

"Don't be a spoilsport, Seth. Go help my son," it's Sasha, again. Seth wants to smack the mischievous little smile she has on her face away. But that would be so ungentlemanly of him so he glares instead.

He gulps down his beer and begrudgingly nods his head, "Just two rounds and then I'm out."

"Yes!"

"Don't be so excited," Seth leaves his chair and follows Elias to where Bo and Curtis are. "It's just _two_ rounds."

"That's a great reason to be excited. The gorgeous deity is agreeing to playing two rounds with me."

"Seriously?"

"I always appreciate beauty when I see it, Seth. You're not just beautiful. You're gorgeous, pretty, fine as hell, handsome, ravishing. I could go on and on."

"Please don't," Seth grimaces.

Elias laughs but says nothing else. "You came to get your butt kicked, Seth?" Curtis asks when Seth and Elias are close enough.

"Nah, I came to hand you lovebirds here, your asses."

"Bring it!" Bo screams, excitedly.

Seth spoke to soon, Elias and him are losing—terribly. He was supposed to go back and join Sasha and Finn, the two are currently sucking each other's faces off, after the second round. But Seth doesn't know how many rounds he's played. He's still bad at this.

"You can do it, Seth. All you have to do is…" the rest of Elias's words fade into nothing. His heartrate quickens, unbidden, as Elias rests his hands on his waist. The man purrs each word into his ear, his lips brushing against Seth's ear. Their bodies are practically touching as Seth can feel the man's front against his back. He pulls away from Elias's hold and throws the ball again, it's a fail and he sighs, allowing Curtis to have his turn.

The game continues for a while before Curtis speaks up, "I think we've kicked your asses enough for one day. I'm parched and I'm fucking starving—winning tends to do that to someone."

"Man, please." Elias laughs, he leads Seth towards their table, holding onto his waist. The hold is so light that Seth fails to feel it. "You're right about the food though. You need anything, Seth?" he asks once he's helped Seth into his seat.

"Whatever you're getting."

Elias nods his head, he signals for the waiter to come get their orders. "So Seth, what are you famous for?" Finn asks, clasping his hand around his beer bottle.

"Nothing," Seth laughs, he thanks the waitress for his food and bites into his cheeseburger. "Who told you I'm famous?"

"We read," Finn says. "But I've gotta say man, I commend you for what you did in the papers. You did what a lot of people wouldn't have done."

"Curtis and I were talking about you the other day, about how brave you are. Think of the millions of people that will benefit from the foundation you and that hunk of a man are beginning."

Seth smiles through his glass when Bo mentions his hunk of a boyfriend. "I'm just helping where I can. Nothing special."

Bo snorts, "Nothing special? Do you know how many lives you guys are helping? It's a really great thing Seth."

"Karaoke?" Elias asks the group at the table.

"Yup!" Sasha stands up. "This one's for you, sexy thang." Sasha smooches Finn heatedly causing the boys to wolf whistle. "Morons!" She points at the lot on the table.

"What's she singing?" Elias asks, his arm going to settle behind Seth's chair.

"Berlin."

"Take my breath away?"

Finn fist bumps Elias, "You guessed it."

"Prepare for the dramatics," Elias leans into whisper in Seth's ear.

"What?"

Sasha begins singing and their table dissolves into guffaws and snickers. "Does anyone recognize the song she's singing?" Bo questions sarcastically.

"Does she realize that her singing's not as musical as she hears it in her head?"

"Oh, fuck off!" Finn pipes in. "She's great at this, much better than Curtis over here."

The song ends, the crowd cheers, clearly charmed by Sasha's antics even though she really is horrible at singing. "My turn," Curtis stands up.

"That's my baby!" Bo shouts, clapping his hands exaggeratedly.

"Led Zeppelin?" Sasha asks once she joins the table.

"Yup," Finn groans. "You did great out there, my cottage pie."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." Seth watches the two interact. Their sucking each other's faces off again—he imagines how hard it must be to separate the two.

Led Zeppelin's 'Whole Lotta Love' plays on the speakers and Curtis begins singing, it sounds a whole lot worse than when Sasha was singing. Seth breaks into laughter, he can't help it—Curtis can't even get some of the lyrics right. He prances on the stage and points at Bo, dancing and gesturing for him to join him on the stage. Bo complies and goes to join his boyfriend and Seth doesn't think he's laughed harder. The two men are comical in their movements, they're grinding against each other and causing the crowd to wolf whistle loudly.

Everyone of Elias's friends goes to have a turn and Seth turns the offer to go sing down. He's not that great a singer and if he sang the heavy metal songs he normally listens to, he's sure everyone's eardrums will be damaged. Elias goes to sing for a second time, the crowd cheers, he's clearly famous with this crowd too. He sings John Mayer's 'Half of my heart' and Seth's again left in awe of how well Elias sings.

"The guy missed his calling. He'd make a great singer." Finn says.

Elias comes back and settles besides Seth again. "So…" he bumps his shoulder against Seth's. "How was I?"

"Great," Seth grins. "You're a great singer."

"Would you mind if I took out my phone and record you say that again, pretty boy?" Seth rolls his eyes, he aims his fist towards Elias for a punch but the man grabs his fist and gives him a warm smile. Elias's eyes crinkle at the corners, he joins Seth's hand with his for a millisecond before pulling away. "I'm really glad you're here, Seth." The man says in a soft voice, his eyes never leaving Seth's.

"You know it's a friendly outing, nothing else, right?" Seth questions because the man has a fond look in his eyes and looking at Seth like he's seeing one of earth's best creations.

Elias's eyes dim a bit and he sighs, his arm going back to settle behind Seth's chair. "I said I'm not giving up, man. But for now, yeah, I know you have someone." The man says nothing else and they focus their attention on Elias's friends. Seth engages in the conversation, here and there, but he mostly focuses on his food. "Your boyfriend's here," a warm breath touches his ear.

Seth tilts away from Elias to look him in the eyes, "What?"

Elias only gestures with his head to a spot behind Seth. The brunet turns away from him to see what Elias is talking about, it feels like déjà vu when he meets familiar brown eyes. Seth blinks his eyes rapidly, maybe he isn't seeing straight, Roman can't be here. He is though, Roman is seated alone at a table not too far away from where he's sitting with Elias and his friends—a glass of whisky in hand. The royal gulps it down, his gaze never leaving Seth's. Like the last time, the whole world falls away and it's just them. Seth tries to search Roman's eyes for any emotion—his brown orbs are unreadable and Seth's left helpless. He can't even tell what the other man's feeling.

Roman signals for a waiter and pays for his drink before getting up and walking towards Seth's table in confident strides. He sure has the attention of most of the patrons at the restaurant, they must be drawn to the power he exudes in just his walk. Once at Seth's table, Roman eyes everyone carefully. The conversation on the table has died, everyone's looking at him. "Gentlemen," he says looking at everyone except Elias who's sat next to Seth. "My mother taught me to always save the best for last," Roman grabs Sasha's hand, placing a soft kiss on her knuckles. "To the beautiful lady, good day."

Sasha blushes red, blue and pink, the table snickers. "H-Hey."

"Fuck, you're hotter than I imagined! Curtis, you won't hold it against me if I ask him to fuck me just once, will you?"

"Oh god, Bo!" Curtis's hand runs to cover Bo's mouth. "He has no filter, I'm so sorry. You…don't need to fuck him, he was just joking. Uh, haha." Curtis is as awkward as ever despite everyone laughing, except Roman's who's staring at both men with an arched eyebrow.

A panty-wetting smile stretches Roman's lips, "I see. It was a pleasure meeting you all," The man's still giving his attention to everyone but Elias. He looks at Seth, eyebrow raised in expectation. "Seth?"

Seth rises from his chair, grabbing his bag that Roman takes from him. "I enjoyed today. Thank you for showing me a good time. I, uh, I'll see you around." Elias, the sneaky bastard, gets up to give him a hug. Seth accepts it, awkwardly, he pulls away when Roman clears his throat. "I'll see you guys on Wednesday?"

The occupants at the table nod affirmative. Seth allows Roman to lead them outside the restaurant—the royal's hand firmly planted at the small of his back. They get to the car and Roman opens his door for him—front seat, so they're not riding with Manuia today. The door is closed before Roman goes to the other side. Seth takes his phone out to check the time—it's freaking four-thirty. Why's Roman out of work so early?

Roman gets in the driver's side and closes the door. Seth's about to ask him why he got off work early when the royal grips the back of his neck and pulls him in for a kiss. The kiss is hard—almost punishing. Seth feels Roman's hand tightening at the back of his neck as the royal ravages his lips with his mouth and teeth. They're both panting when the kiss ends, Roman rubs on Seth's bottom lip, parting the soft skin with his thumb. Seth's still dazed from the first kiss when Roman leans in for another one, it's soft but seductive and full of need. It lasts longer than the first one with Roman's lips traveling to his cheek and then his neck. Seth shudders at the feel of Roman biting into his skin before the man's skilled tongue soothes the pain. One final swift kiss is placed on Seth's lips before Roman pulls back completely and begins the drive back home.

Well at least the royal's kissing him. That's got to be a good thing, right? It means Roman isn't angry about Seth going out, or more accurately, chilling with Elias. He hasn't snapped so maybe he realizes that he's the only man for Seth. "I want you to stay away from that hipster." And Seth spoke to soon.

Seth turns to face him, Roman's the epitome of calm, he keeps his gaze focused on the road and says nothing else. "What?"

"The hipster—with the beard and the long hair—he knows you have a boyfriend, correct?"

"Yes," Seth answers, albeit hesitantly.

"But he still doesn't respect that. He's not only disrespecting you but he's also disrespecting me, as well as our relationship. I want you to stay away from him."

"What?! No!" Seth shakes his head. Sure, Elias is the touchy feely type but he's also a genuinely nice guy. He's the first friend Seth made and it doesn't hurt that Elias's a cool guy—he's laid back and makes Seth feel at ease. Surely, he can't just cut the guy off when he's done nothing wrong—except being overly touchy. Besides, just who the hell does Roman think he is? He's not Seth's father, he can't be out here throwing instructions at Seth and expect him to obey. To hell with that! "I'm not going to stay away from Elias, Roman. He doesn't even know that we're dating plus he's a _friend—_ a very great friend. I enjoy his company and besides…" Seth folds his arms across his chest. "You can't order me around."

"I'm not ordering you around, alofagia."

Yes, Roman's got a Samoan nickname for him. A term of endearment, really. He started using that name yesterday and Masina said it means darling. And Seth would probably be melting right about now if Roman wasn't pissing the hell out of him. "Then what are you doing? Because it sounds like an order to—"

"Your friend—" Roman cuts in, turning to look at Seth briefly. "He doesn't seem to know about personal space and boundaries. Even if he doesn't know we're together, he still knows you have a boyfriend!" Roman's voice lifts a little. "You're taken, Seth! Your friend needs to learn to control his hands. He can't keep touching you as one does a lover. And you're wrong for not setting boundaries—with him more than anyone else because he's attracted to you."

I do have boundaries."

"I beg to differ. Cut him off until _you_ get a lesson on personal space and what it is. You clearly don't know what that is if you're allowing random men to just touch you freely without you seeing anything wrong with it. I'm not going to stand for it, Seth."

Seth feels anger bubbling his insides, the emotion's accompanied by so many other feelings. He's stuck between frustration and wanting to cry. He's stuck between wanting to yell at Roman and bashing the royal's head against a wall. He remains silent for a while—allowing the tension to seep in the quite car. Alone in his thoughts, Seth remembers that he'd wanted to ask Roman why he got off work early. He can't do that now, he probably won't get a response. But other questions play in his head as well. How in hell's name did Roman know where he was? What was he doing at that restaurant anyway? And the way Roman had led him out of the restaurant…

"So what—you went to that restaurant to claim your territory? Do you know how much you embarrassed me?"

Roman laughs but it's without humor, "I embarrassed you?"

"Yes! Who knows what Elias's friends are thinking? You just popped out of nowhere and practically instructed me to follow you. And then you put your fucking hand around me. You did that because Elias was there. I'm not a possession, Roman."

"You're imagining things, alofagia."

"I'm not and you know it, Roman. Don't patronize me."

Roman sighs and stops at a red light, "I don't have time for petty arguments, Seth. The solution here is simple—stay away from Elias. He's attracted to you and maybe it's because I've only ever had two relationship in my life but I'm failing to understand how you entertain someone who clearly wants more than friendship with you. You said yourself the man knows you're in a relationship but he doesn't care. He won't stop wanting you or maybe you want him too? You're very keen on keeping him as a _friend._ "

Shock sluices through Seth, almost as if a bucket of ice cold water has been thrown at him. He considers Roman, who's gone back to driving, eyes focused on the road. But there's a tension in the quiet car, a tension so thick, one can slice through it with a knife. Roman's gripping the steering wheel in a white-knuckled grip, it's the only sign that gives away how he's feeling because other than that the man looks deceptively calm. Seth doesn't know why Roman is angry when he should be feeling that emotion—and Seth _is_ angry and a whole lot other things.

They're arguing again…over something as trivial as who his friends are. _Friend,_ his mind corrects him. "I can't believe you'd say that, Roman. You're talking about disrespect and yet you don't realize how you're doing the same thing. You're disrespecting how I feel about you. I don't know why you'd do that when you know that you're the only one I want. I don't know why you'd doubt my feelings for you."

"Seth—"

Seth effectively cuts the royal off by turning the radio on—it's a fucking jazz station. Roman and Manuia's favorite and Seth wants to change the station because he wants to make Roman feels as uncomfortable as possible but it feels like too much effort. He's too upset and he wants to be anywhere but where he is at the moment but he's stuck in the car with an arrogant prince for the next hour. He turns away from Roman, grateful that he didn't tie his hair today, it curtains his face away from Roman and it feels like he's in his own world.

It can't be more than five minutes later that he feels Roman grab one of his hands. The man kisses his knuckles like he normally does and holds onto his hand for the rest of the trip home. Seth hates to admit that it makes his heart stutter. Of all the men in the world, why this one? Why did his heart settle on a confusing, jealous but loving royal?

When they get home, Seth pulls out of Roman's hold, grabs his bag and Seth exits the car before Roman can say anything. Yes, he's still angry and will remain angry, he'll calm down eventually—just not now. Masina's cooking, there's delicious smells coming in the direction of the kitchen. It's probably close to supper then, but Seth decides that he won't be having any tonight. He ate enough burgers at The Fix anyway. He goes to the kitchen to give Masina a quick hello, "Talofa, Masina." He greets, kissing her cheek. Hello is one of the few words he can say in Samoan.

"Seth, did you have a good day?"

"It depends on what you consider a good day," Seth says under his breath.

Masina's eyes reveal her curiosity and she opens her mouth to say something. Roman beats her to it, "Masina, the kitchen smells heavenly. What are you making?"

"Leati, what are you doing here? You're home early," Masina looks over Seth's shoulder, surprise etched on her face.

Seth leaves the kitchen but not without glaring at Roman. He doesn't want to stay to hear what Roman will say. He has an assignment he needs to finish anyway. The clock in his room reveals that twelve minutes remain until it's six. Seth decides to take a quick shower first, he removes all his clothing and walks to the shower naked as the day he was born. He changes his mind and decides to use the bathtub instead. He sprinkles a few bath salts inside his water and throws in some rose petals. The heavenly smelling water calms him, his eyes are closed, his head rests against the bathtub. Manuia's kind of music fills the bathroom and everything's so peaceful.

He's blocked all thoughts of Roman and Elias and everything that has the potential to stress him out away. When the water turns warm, Seth decides to finally wash his body. He's thorough in his ministrations and steps out of the bathtub once done. A small towel dries his hair, a bigger one covering his waist. He's glad to find that Roman isn't in his room when he leaves the bathroom—Roman seems to spend a lot of time in his room after all. The royal only goes to change in his room before coming back to Seth's.

Seth ties an indigo cotton robe with Roman's initials to his body and grabs his bag to get started on his assignment. He works on his assignment for close to an hour when his phone chirps with a message. It's Elias, Seth sighs, but opens the message nonetheless.

_Elias: Hi. Did you get home safely?_

He's almost done with his assignment so Seth decides to respond. _Yes._

_Elias: Are you free tomorrow?_

Well, they don't have classes and Seth knows everyone's going to be at work except Masina. He could spend time with her or maybe Naomi's available. She told him that she works from home most of the time. His phone dings before he can respond to Elias's message.

_Elias: Thought we could do something. We can go to South Beach or check out Lincoln Road. Go cycling or rollerblading or whatever._

Seth laughs, he can't do any of those things. Not with his injured leg.

_Seth: Can't. Not with my leg._

_Elias: Shit, I forgot. Forget the cycling and stuff. I'll show you around, act as your highly reliable tour guide. We'll check out a few galleries, get a few items. And I'll even feed you. Only thing you need to do is show up._

Seth bites on his bottom lip, Roman told him to stay away from Elias. And the man always seems to find him whenever he's hanging out with Elias and then proceeds to act like an asshole afterwards. But then again, Roman can't tell him what to do. Elias is a friend and Seth can't stay cooped up in Roman's house like a prisoner. He has a life and a friend's offering to show him around. Mind made up, he responds to Elias's message.

_Seth: Sure. What time?_

_Elias: Great. Twelve alright with you?_

_Seth: Yeah. You'll send me the location?_

_Elias: I'll do it now. So I'll see you tomorrow?_

_Seth: Yup._

_Elias: Alright man. Enjoy your night and try to dream about me ;)_

Seth rolls his eyes—this stupid, stupid man.

_Seth: Goodnight Elias._

Elias doesn't respond after that so Seth finalizes what's left of his assignment. He finishes nearly an hour later. He closes his laptop, getting up to go place it on his work desk. He then calls Kofi, he hasn't spoken to the dreadlocked man in a while and he doesn't want Kofi to think he's being avoided or something. They talk for a while about any and everything and Seth gets the urge to visit Tampa. He misses the place, he misses some of the people there. People like Kofi and then there's Sami and Kevin—he hasn't seen them in a while. Also, he needs to see Mrs. Frank, maybe visit her with Roman so he can rub it in the old bitch's face that he's dating a hunky royal. She'd probably sneer and say something bitchy.

Seth laughs to himself, he really does miss Tampa. The place was his home for nearly ten years. Maybe he should ask Roman to visit the place with him. And maybe they can go to his favorite locations and they can also visit The Black Vault—see Hunter and some of his former coworkers. Seth nods to himself, he'll propose the idea to Roman—when he's less angry at him. For now though, he's still mad and he's hurt. Hurt by Roman's actions and his words—it's like the man doesn't think before he says something. He doesn't even think when it comes to actions. Seth still doesn't know how Roman found him at The Fix. He still doesn't know what Roman was doing there. Was it a coincidence or was Roman following him? Does Roman even trust him at all?

 _Stop, you're only hurting yourself._ He should listen to what his mind tells him because he can feel himself getting worked up. A relationship without trust is as good as dead. He hasn't even given the royal a reason not to trust him so why? _Maybe it was a coincidence,_ his mind tells him. Seth releases a shaky breath, maybe it _had_ been a coincidence. Making assumptions in his head won't get him anywhere. He'll ask Roman once he's calmed down.

There's a knock on his door before it opens, revealing the one man he doesn't want to see at the moment. "You missed dinner," Roman says.

Seth notices that the man is carrying a tray, on it is a white bowl, a bottle of wine and two wine glasses. Seth folds his arms across his chest, "I wasn't hungry," he tells Roman in a flat tone.

Roman places the tray on the bedside table and settles on the bed. The royal's taken a shower, Seth can smell his heady coconut scent and he wants nothing more than to settle in Roman's arms and breathe him in but he won't. "Are you still mad at me?" Roman draws Seth into his arms against his will. Granted, Seth doesn't try to fight him much. He leans back on Roman's chest, arms still folded against his chest.

"Have I no right to be mad at you? What you said hurt me."

"I'm going to be honest, alofagia. I don't know what I did wrong but I'm sorry."

Seth tilts his head to the side and looks at Roman—the bastard's brown orbs reveal how serious he is. "You accused me of wanting Elias, Roman. That means you doubt how I feel for you. That hurt more than everything you did today because that means you don't trust my feelings for you. Do you even trust _me?_ I still don't know what you were doing at that restaurant. Were you following me around, Roman?"

"I wasn't following you around." Roman's eyes are blank so Seth doesn't even know if the man's telling the truth. "Trust…" Roman laughs bitterly. "I learned not to trust anyone a long time ago. People break promises—they make all these promises and then they abondon you. I trust no one but myself, Seth."

What Roman says should be upsetting him, but he can't find it in himself to be upset. It's Roman's tone of voice that causes an ache in his heart—it sounds crushed and Seth can feel how Roman's shaking slightly. Roman's eyes are still blank but Seth can feel his sadness, he can feel the storm brewing within the other man. Seth turns to face him and cups his face. And a part of him, understands, he thinks. A part of him understands Roman's anger. "I would never abandon you, Roman."

He's not expecting Roman to grip his waist and place him on the bed. The royal doesn't believe him, Seth knows it. His heart breaks and he wants to know who or what hurt Roman so deeply that he feels like he can't trust anyone. Not even the ones he loves. And then he remembers Manuia's words—he's dealing with a broken man here. Seth's still caught up in his thoughts when he feels a weight leave his bed. Roman's walking away from him, "I mean it, Roman." Seth says before Roman can reach the door. "I just—I feel for you so much. It's you who'd probably leave me because I don't see myself leaving you…for anyone, especially Elias."

A deep sigh sounds in the otherwise quiet room, Roman leans his head on the door and remains quiet. Seth does nothing else, he keeps his ass perched on the bed and waits on Roman. He's not sure what the other man will do, he could still just walk out of Seth's room and push him away. Roman turns to face Seth after what feels like forever. The stoic exterior is still on but he walks back to the bed and grips Seth's face so that the brunet is looking up at him.

The hard kiss Roman initiates comes as a surprise but Seth accepts it nonetheless. He allows Roman to push him back on the bed, his robe being undone by shaky hands. Roman gets in between his spread legs and presses him into the bed. Roman must've taken off his boxers because Seth feels the man's thick cock rub against his. Roman's kissing him all over, initiating bruising kisses on his neck and soothing them with his tongue.

If feels _so_ good, Seth can't deny that. He keeps thrusting into Roman's fist and clutching onto the bigger man's shoulders. Despite how good what Roman's doing to his body feels, he can't help the niggling feeling at the back of his mind that's telling him that what they're doing only serves as a distraction. Or maybe he's being used as a distraction. A hard bite on his nipple sends electrical shudders through his body—Seth shakes from the unbelievable sensations. Roman's sucking on his peak nipple like his life depends on it. The royal's left hand has found it's way to Seth's ass, squeezing and caressing the juicy buns possessively.

Roman's grip on their shafts becomes harder, he squeezes their lengths tighter, the gush of precum spilling out of their cocks serving as lubrication. Seth moans with every stroke, he wraps his arms around Roman's neck and hugs the royal tighter. Roman's tensing above him, he's close, Seth can tell. He's on the verge of coming as well, Roman's grunts drawing him closer and closer to completion. His orgasm hits him hard—Seth closes his eyes tightly as he feels his toes curl together. Time seems to stop when he cums, he's reeling in pure ecstacy when the sharp pain of a big hand pulling his hair brings him back to reality.

"Roman, please." He isn't even sure what he's begging for.

The grip on his hair disappears completely and Roman leans up a bit, balancing his weight on his elbows. The royal's eyes are red-rimmed, Seth cups his cheek. "Don't leave me," Roman's voice is hoarse.

"Never," Seth whispers. He leans up to join Roman's lips with his own. There's a wetness against his cheeks— _tears._ Seth isn't sure what's going on with the man but he tightens his arms around Roman's neck when the kiss ends. Roman's arms are around his waist, holding him tightly as if the man's scared of losing him. And the royal's weight is heavy on top of him—the man does weigh over two hundred pounds after all—but Seth doesn't complain. Roman _needs_ this, Seth can feel it in how Roman's holding him. He feels it in the man's gestures, how he keeps breathing into his neck rhythmically before placing the softest of kisses on his neck every so often.

They remain silent for so long that Seth is startled lightly when Roman in the quietest of voices says, "Your friend—you can see him. Just don't allow him to steal you away from me."

Maybe it isn't the time to be laughing but Seth finds himself chuckling in a quiet voice, "I really like _you_ , Roman. Being with anyone who isn't you would break my heart." And Seth means it. Yes, they've been together a short time but Seth doesn't see himself with anyone who isn't Roman. He's falling in love with him, everyday he wakes up and he falls for the man just a little bit more. Roman moves to lie besides him and draws him close to him. Seth rests his head on the royal's shoulder, his flat palm going to rest on Roman's chest. The silence between them is comfortable, cozy. Roman's scent assaults him—it's intoxicating and it feels like home. Being with Roman feels like home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for taking forever to update. I don't have an excuse, honestly :/

It's seven o'clock when Seth wakes up, Roman's not beside him, as expected. Seth's yet to wake up next to the other man but he knows the chances are slim. Roman is an early bird after all, but sometimes Seth worries about him—twice he's woken up in the wee hours of the morning to find Roman's spot on the bed empty. And by wee hours, he means two in the morning, it's worrying because Roman and him usually go to bed at ten and if Roman's waking up less than five hours after they've gone to bed, it means the royal isn't getting enough sleep. And that's a bad thing because in the long run, Roman's sleep deprivation will have effects on more than just his body. Seth's going to address the issue with him, he just needs to figure out when and how.

For now though, he needs to get ready for his outing with Elias. They're meeting at 11:00 and Seth could've squeezed in another hour or two of sleep but his stomach's churning in excitement about seeing what Miami has to offer. He leaves the bed, taking his bathrobe off and placing it on the bed. He walks into the bathroom to take care of his morning routine. He makes sure to brush his teeth thoroughly, spitting and rinsing his mouth before using the mouth wash. He spits the alcoholic mouthwash, his attention go to the purplish pink bruises scattered on his neck and chest and he sighs softly—Roman and his damn biting.

His shower takes less than twenty minutes, he wraps a towel around his waist and heads back into the bedroom. What to wear? It's a hot and sunny day, it's scorching hot actually, so Seth settles on a pair of navy shorts and a white tank top, it's probably unwise to wear a tank top considering the bruises on his body but Seth decides to fuck it. After pulling on his underwear, he lotions his body, sprays cologne on it and puts on his outfit for the day. For his footwear, he settles on navy flip-flops. After combing his hair, he ties the brown mane into a low bun and finishes his look with a black snapback.

 _Perfect_ , his overly confident side tells him when he stands in front of the full body mirror to give himself a once over. Seth grabs his phone and leaves for the kitchen. He's not going to eat a full breakfast meal, Elias is the type to feed and feed until one can't stomach anymore so he's just going to grab an apple and water. Masina's already in the kitchen, she's clearing the kitchen island and taking the dirty dishes to the dishwasher. "Oh, morning, Mr. Rollins." The middle aged woman greets once she notices him.

Seth can't help the eye roll that he's sure Masina saw, "I thought we were past the 'Mr. Rollins' stage Masina, seriously, you make me feel old."

Masina chuckles, her hands resting on her hips, "Right, well I'll try to make you feel younger next time. So, are you and Leati going somewhere?"

Seth grabs a bottle of water from the fridge, an apple in hand. He closes the fridge and looks back to Masina, "Huh?"

"He's been sitting in the living room for the past hour. He's not dressed for work so I'm assuming he's taking you somewhere."

Seth's flabbergasted, as far as he knows, Roman should be at work. The man's got no reason to be at home today, plus he didn't say anything about staying at home today last night. But Seth's learning a lot of things about his boyfriend. And he guesses he should add sneaky to the list. Because a part of him suspects that Roman somehow knows about his outing with Elias and therefore decided to stay at home. He isn't sure though—he's not a psychic but why would Roman stay at home today of all days?

"He didn't tell me anything," Seth shrugs. He blushes when Masina eyes his neck and escapes before the older woman can say anything. In the living room, he finds his boyfriend there—his weird boyfriend. Roman's sat on one of the couches, his eyes appear fixated on the blank screen, almost as if he's watching the most interesting thing on the blank screen. Yup, definitely weird. The man is yet to notice his presence but judging his attire—Roman doesn't look like he's going to work at all. He's wearing a navy Nike sweater (despite the hot weather), dark blue jeans and grey Nike sneakers. His hair is tied into a neat bun and he just looks really gorgeous. Seth wraps his arms around his neck from behind, kissing the royal's ear. "You're not at work."

"Decided to work from home," the response is immediate. And his voice—Roman sounds unperturbed. In fact, his whole demeanor is calm.

Seth moves from behind the couch and goes to perch himself on Roman's lap. He places his water bottle on the glass table and strokes Roman's stubbly cheek. When their lips meet, a shiver runs down Seth's spine. There's butterflies flapping around in the pit of his stomach with every gentle slide of Roman's tongue against his. Seth pulls back, resting his forehead against Roman's. "Really?" He asks, an eyebrow raised in disbelief.

"Yes."

Seth doesn't believe him, but he says nothing else and bites into his apple. A comfortable silence ensues between them, with Roman's arms circling his waist. They sit in silence for a while and he's almost done eating his apple when Roman's wandering hand creeps beneath Seth's tank top to settle on a sore nipple. Seth moans when Roman pulls and rubs on it until the pink nub is erect. "You look gorgeous. What's on your agenda for today?"

"Going out," Seth's voice is breathless. He's finding it hard to concentrate with Roman teasing his body. One hand keeps rubbing on his nipple while the man's other one trails seductively slow up and down his thigh—it keeps trailing dangerously close to his hardening shaft.

"Oh?"

Seth pistons his hips forward, trying to feel more of Roman's hand working him, "Yes." His head goes to hide in Roman's neck and he breathes against the royal's neck.

"And where are we going?"

Seth's mind is still hazy but he's sure he just heard Roman say 'we'. He pulls away from Roman's neck, looking into unreadable brown orbs. The calm exterior is still present but Seth isn't fooled one bit, the royal's up to something, Seth knows it. " _I_ am going sightseeing." Roman's hands have long stopped teasing him but the man can hardly keep his hands to himself so they stay on Seth's waist, beneath his tank top.

"That's great. I haven't gone sightseeing in a while."

"Perhaps another time," Seth tells Roman. See, now he knew the royal bastard was up to no good. Manuia has said many times that Roman's a workaholic. Seth's said it himself, he's seen just how hard the man works. It doesn't make sense for him to just skip a day from work to work from home. And like Seth's said before—why today of all days?

"Perhaps today."

Seth folds his arms across his chest, "You're not going anywhere with me," he huffs. There's no way in hell he's going on an outing with another guy while Roman's present. It's not because Seth would do something he shouldn't but he's dating an uptight, jealous royal who thinks Elias is out to steal him away from him. The whole thing just wouldn't work out and it's just no—Roman isn't going anywhere with him.

***

Seventeen hours. Seth's assuming that's how long it's been since their last argument. It's how long it's been since he found himself angry at Roman. And he guesses the royal felt like seventeen hours was a long enough time and he had to do something else to piss him off. They're currently in Roman's Lexus, driving to meet _Elias_ in downtown Miami.

Why's Seth angry? It's simple, really—the man who's supposed to be taking him to Bayside Marketplace—the place he's meeting Elias at—is supposedly taking care of his 'sick' girlfriend at home and can't make it. Now Seth's had John as his driver for a while—he knows how punctual the man is. So imagine his surprise when the clock hits ten and his driver's not waiting for him outside the mansion like he normally does, instead, Seth receives a message from the man ten minutes later telling him he won't be available today.

Seth would've bought his bullshit story if not for the fact that Roman conveniently offered his services as chauffeur for the day. It hadn't been that hard to connect the dots after that—his sneaky ass boyfriend stayed home and somehow got John to lie (Seth figures it wasn't that hard—the royal does pay John's salary after all), so that he could come into the picture and guard Seth's movements—it won't be a hard thing to do if he's tasked himself with playing highly efficient driver/bodyguard. What makes Seth angry is that he knows Roman did all this to monitor his outing with Elias. Clearly the heart to heart they had last night was in vain.

But Seth is still confused—how did Roman even find out about the outing, he sure as hell hadn't told him until early this morning and he hadn't mentioned Elias's name. _Maybe he checked your phone,_ Seth dismisses the thought immediately. Roman wouldn't stoop so low. But how then? Maybe he needs to add spy to Roman's résumé. Maybe the royal has all these gadgets and technological things that hack into Seth's phone and laptop and his whole life basically. Like the FBI and the CIA. Seth snorts quietly to himself—his gaze still fixated on the passing life on the streets—all the movies he's watched are turning him into an over imaginative drama queen.

"You know I don't get why you're mad when I'm only trying to help you, manamea." The charming bastard has the nerve to call him sweetheart. Seth thinks it means sweetheart, Masina's been trying to teach him their language. Since he's going to be a royal's consort and have children with the future King of Lanuola he needs to learn about Lanuolan culture and customs. The woman's been hinting about marriage and children a lot lately, Seth's been wanting to respectfully tell the middle aged woman to chill the fuck out. They've barely been dating a week and Masina's already expecting a soccer team from him.

Seth doesn't want to, but he finds himself looking over at Roman. The royal's eyes are focused on the road, but Seth can tell the man's waiting for a response from him. He's probably going to get it but he still releases the words, "Fuck you," to the royal before turning the radio on. It's a jazz station—why is he not surprised? He's not as upset as last night though plus he overdosed on his confidence pills this morning so he switches the station to a heavy metal one without a hint of fear. Okay, he's lying, there's a part of him—very deep inside—that fears how the royal will react. He spares Roman a small glance noticing how his eyebrows knit together in distaste. He's not sure if it's because of his music taste or because of what he said earlier. But Roman remains silent, Seth takes that as a good thing—his attention goes back to the window, as he hums along softly to the tunes he recognizes.

They arrive at Bayside Marketplace and as soon as Roman parks the car, Seth's ready to exit. He wants to leave the royal fool to his own devices but the man grips his hand, preventing him from leaving, "Seth, look I'm sorry, alright? I promise you that next time I won't offer to be your chauffer. I'll let you call an Uber, instead."

Seth does a double take, is this man serious? Roman has a small grin on his face, he's trying to hide it but it's right there for Seth to see. This idiot! Seth removes his arm from Roman's grip, his heart's fluttering because of the idiotic royal but he's not going to give in just yet. He exits the car, headed towards where Elias said he would find him. He's not surprised when he hears Roman's footsteps right behind him, the man follows him like a lost puppy. He's still somewhat annoyed when he spots Elias but he's not going to dampen the hipster man's spirits with his foul mood. "Elias!" he calls out, causing the other man to turn and face him.

There's recognition in Elias's eyes before confusion steals the spot. Seth figures he can't blame him—he would be too if the person he invited pitched up with a third party without informing him. Elias recovers quickly and pulls him in for a hug, Seth hears Roman clearing his throat but ignores him. This is what he gets for pissing him off. "I wanted to take you on the Thriller Speedboat tour. I got the tickets for us but I..." Elias gives Roman a once over before his eyes go back to Seth. "I didn't know you'd bring company."

"Nonsense, we can still go. Roman will understand," Roman's facial expression is blank but he has that damned left eyebrow raised. Seth isn't sure what it means, maybe he's taking the whole 'make the boyfriend suffer' thing too far. He still loves his hair and he knows how obsessed the man is with gripping his hair, what more when he's angry? Ugh, he's conflicted. _Just a little while longer,_ the devil on his left shoulder whispers into his ear.

"I'm sure I can get the ticket."

"They're usually sold out, a lot of people want to check out this cruise. Besides you book in advance," there's a bit of hostility that Seth hears in Elias's voice. He's sure Roman's hears it as well—the man's eyes have turned cold.

"Money talks, Mr. Samson, I could buy the whole cruise if I wanted." His voice is calm but there's a coldness to it. Much colder than the look in his eyes.

Seth decides to step in before something happens, "I'm sure Roman can get a ticket. Maybe there'll be someone selling their ticket because of an emergency or shit like that. Let's just go," both men comply. Elias is a bit hesitant though and when Roman walks past him, his eyebrow arches in a way that says, 'You're beneath me and not worth a dime of my time'. Seth wants the earth to swallow him but he gives Elias a small smile and walks with him towards their first destination of the day.

They survive the boat tour—thank god! Because Seth's still not forgiven his boyfriend, he'd sat with Elias and snapped places of the beautiful scenery. They cruised down a lot of beautiful places and the sandy shores of South Beach, viewing luxurious Art Deco mansions that reminded Seth of Roman's mansion. He'd gotten a few pictures with Elias too and a few strangers, nothing with Roman though. Maybe he's being too harsh but he's just trying to teach Roman a lesson—the man should never mess with him.

After the boat tour, they check out the marketplace, Seth gets a few items. He notices that Roman doesn't even bother to look at what the vendors are selling. Elias stops with him, helping him pick out a few items. Some of the things he's buying are for Dean and Xavier but most of them are for Roman because no matter how angry or annoyed he is by him—the man still owns his heart and deserves a gift or two. But it's also to soften Roman's heart when they reach home—the man may look calm now but who knows how he'll behave at home?

It's around two o'clock when they spot a Disney store, Roman remains outside. The royal honestly looks out of place—like he's not used to busy places like these. It's like he's not used to going out at all, Seth has a vague suspicion that he isn't. Roman's taken him out once since they've begun dating, and on the day he'd gone out with Dean and Xavier, the man had stayed behind, only giving Seth his card to spend on whatever him and his friends wanted.

"I'll wait here," the royal says. Elias has already entered but Roman's voice causes Seth to do a u-turn to check on the man. Their eyes meet briefly before Roman looks down—it's a first for him, Seth's never seen him do that. Seth can't bring himself to care about their surroundings as he cups Roman's cheeks and forces the man to look at him. Roman looks exhausted—physically, emotionally. The man just looks tired…and hurt. And he's causing it…

"I'm sorry," he whispers.

Roman gives him a smile—it's fake. Seth would like to think that he knows Roman's fake smiles now—they're always set with dead eyes. Like now. "I really am, Roman." He says, his voice thick with emotion.

"You haven't done anything wrong, have you alofagia?" it's a sarcastic question. Seth knows it is. He leans up to kiss Roman's lips softly, it takes a bit of coaxing but the royal responds eventually. Seth sighs against his lips, embracing the shivers that run down his spine. He hopes the feelings he gets from kissing Roman never disappear. Because they're amazing and they're beautiful and they make him feel wanted and cherished even when the man is angry at him. "You should go join your friend inside. He looks like he wants to knock my lights out. He wouldn't get as far as touching a strand of my hair though. I'd end him before he can even blink."

Seth rolls his eyes—the cockiness is back, he sees. "I'll buy you something nice," he enters the store and heads to where Elias is, "Found anything?"

Elias gives him a strained smile, "Nothing that interesting yet. So he's the boyfriend," Elias says it matter-of-factly. He nods his head to where Roman's standing outside the store.

"Yes," Seth admits quietly.

"So why'd you lie the first time?"

The damn questions again. "It's a long story," Seth says. He walks to where different colored bowties hang on a wall. Seth examines them and finds one with Roman's favorite ducky. It's a turquoise one—Donald Duck decorates nearly the whole tie and the words, "Aw, phooey!" are on it. It's adorable and Seth's sure Roman will hate it but he's still going to force the man to wear it. He grabs a few more items, there's a red and black Mickey Mouse bag that he's sure Naomi's little creature will love—he decides to buy it for her.

The shopping's done and dusted by three, Roman didn't buy a single thing and Seth's quite disappointed if he's being honest. Couldn't the man have even bought him a small ornament as a gift? Apparently not. The royal offers to carry his bags as they make their way to a restaurant for some much needed food. They find a table outside the restaurant and Seth's grateful—it's blazing hot. But at least there's a cool breeze outside unlike inside the packed restaurant that would most likely make them feel suffocated. He's sat with Roman and Elias is sat across from them. Roman's arm goes to settle behind his chair and a waitress comes to give them some menus. She takes their drink orders and Seth's looking at a frowning Roman when he orders mango daiquiri. Roman clearly isn't pleased, Seth leans in to kiss the frown away. He feels the arm that was on his chair travel to grip the back of his neck to hold him in place while his lips are devoured.

They pull back and Roman's got this lazy grin on his face—he looks breathtakingly ethereal with the sun teasing the different shades of brown in his eyes. "Is this some ploy to get me not to kiss you? I'll still ruin your mouth—I'm not going to let something as useless as mangoes stop me from tasting what's mine," the royal's warm breath touches his ear. A tingle runs down Seth's spine, he almost expects Roman to whisper dirty words in his ear but the waitress is back, ready to get their orders.

Elias clears his throat and places his order, Seth orders the first thing he sees, "I'll have the, uh, Vietnamese beef salad."

"I'll take the smoky chorizo burger with a side of cheese fries," the waitress jots down Roman's order and leaves their table.

Despite the lively ambiance of the place they're at, there's a tension at their table. It's awkward and stifling and Seth wants to leave both men to their own devices. Roman's arm remains behind his chair while Elias observes them with a look Seth can't quite decipher. It's Roman who clears his throat (Seth's not sure how many times they've done that today) and speaks up first, "So Mr. Samson, what do you do for a living?" Seth mentally rolls his eyes—of all the questions...

Elias sets his glass that's now half-filled with beer on the checkered table, "I own a pub and grill with a good friend of mine."

Seth moves his daiquiri away from him, observing Elias with newfound interest, "I thought you just worked there."

"I do work there," Elias laughs.

"You know what I mean,"

Elias shrugs, "I didn't think it was that important, pretty boy. It doesn't change anything, does it?"

Seth's expecting Roman to react to the nickname but the man merely looks at him, raised eyebrow and all. There's whisky in this restaurant as well, the cheap kind, but Roman seems unperturbed by it as he drinks the brown liquid. Seth blinks at him, "It doesn't," he's not even looking at Elias as he gives the response.

Their waitress comes back with their food, Seth thinks it will somehow lessen the tension—he can't be further from the truth. The whole thing reminds him of those awkward family dinners you normally see on it TV. The only sounds—other than the buzzing life surrounding them—are coming from their cutlery as they cut into their food. The strange atmosphere is broken by the ringing of a phone—it's Roman's, Seth recognizes the ringtone—it's a boring standard one.

"Pardon me gentleman, I need to take this," Seth follows Roman with his eyes. The man goes to stand a distance away from where they're seated. Seth knows it's because the royal wants to them to be in his clear view. He stares for a while, Roman's pacing back and forth, he looks tense for some reason.

"You never did tell my why you lied about not dating that man." Elias interrupts his staring.

Seth turns his eyes away, albeit hesitantly, and looks at Elias, "It's a long story Elias. I'd rather not say anything."

"He seems like the possessive type,"

Seth's sure he didn't hear the man clearly. Elias needs to repeat what he said, "Huh?"

"The man thinks he owns you. Typical rich snobbish behavior…"

Seth feels himself get angry. Who the hell does Elias think he is? Insulting his boyfriend like that—a man he doesn't even know personally. "You don't get to talk about him like that. You don't even know him!" His voice lifts a little.

Elias raises his hand, "I'm not trying to offend you, Seth. It's just an observation—I could be wrong. But I know his type—young, rich, playboy…thinks he's entitled to the world and everything on it. Guys like that almost never stay in a relationship for more than three months. The guy's going to break your heart, Seth, and you're too blind to see it."

Look at this man, they haven't even graduated and he already thinks he's an expert on human behavior. Seth rolls his eyes so hard he feels it at the back of his head. He already knows what he wants to say to the jackass but Roman's scent invades him—it's heady and it calms him. The man's behind him and a hand being placed on his shoulder confirms it, "I need to talk to you," the words are said in a low voice.

Seth tilts his head to side and looks up at Roman. He's still tense—has been since he took that call. Seth wonders what's wrong with him. He nods his head and gets up, not even bothering to spare Elias any glance—it's what the jackass deserves for talking about things he knows nothing about. Roman leads them to where he was standing. There's one or two people a short distance away from them—they're far enough that they won't be able to eavesdrop. Roman grabs his hand, "I have to go to LA. There's an emergency with one of the companies I've invested in."

"Okay…"

"The lady's construction company—one of her employees got injured on site. They're still not sure how bad it is. But this man—he's a forty year old breadwinner to a family of six, Seth. His family still needs him—he can't die on them. I want to meet his family first," Seth can see how bad the news have upset Roman. "Is it wrong of me? I just feel they're a priority. They need to be taken care of, in every way possible, should anything happen to the husband…" Roman's eyes slide shut and he groans slightly. "I hate broken families, Seth."

"I could go with you," Seth offers.

Roman's already shaking his head, "You still have college. I don't know how long this will take."

The royal has a point, "Let's go home then, I'll help you pack."

"I called Masina, she's taking care of things as we speak."

"Then let's just go home, Roman. You need a proper send off," okay, the last bit sounds suggestive to his ears. But he really just wants to be there when his boyfriend leaves but now that he thinks about it, if there's still time before Roman leaves then the man can do whatever he wants to do to him.

Roman's a bit skeptical, "What about your friend?" His eyes reveal how much he wants Seth to choose him.

"You come first,"

Roman's expressions change like a switch—the royal's smiling now…broadly. Like he wasn't stressed out a few minutes ago. When he leans down to kiss him, Seth's lips are already parted and waiting. It's softer than usual—the way Roman's kissing him. Seth feels how much this man cherishes him in just this one kiss. There's a lot of things that reassure him about Roman and his feelings for him. This man wouldn't hurt him—he tries to show him everyday how much he cares for him. In the strangest of ways, sometimes.

* * *

 

" _Sometimes I worry," the voice saying the words sounds so small. They're in the Lanu Meamata forests, at the very top of the green hills. Both boys are lying on the soft grass, looking up at the turquoise skies—the smooth blankets of warm air whips past them._

_Roman turns so that he's lying on his side and supports his head with his hand, he looks at the boy who'd stolen his heart the first day he entered the palace—nearly a year ago. He can't believe how far they've come, Tyler's improved a lot. He talks a lot more, not as much as Roman would like, but he's trying and for Roman that's enough. "About what?"_

_Tyler turns to face him, his blue eyes cloudy, "That you'll leave me. I've too much baggage, Leati. What if you wake up tomorrow and realize that you can do so much better than a dead prostitute's emotionally unstable son? I still don't know what you see in me…it scares me sometimes. How much you claim to love me—if you ever took that love away…"_

_Roman sits up and pulls the smaller boy onto his lap, "We're young, Tyler. I don't know much about love but I know it's what I feel when I'm with you. I don't need to realize anything, except maybe how what I feel for you grows with each passing day. I love you Tyler, that's the most fucking bluntest I can be. I love you so fucking much and I want to fucking grow old with you even though I hate the idea of being old and having back problems and stiff bones but if it means I get to experience it with you then so be it. I would never leave you, I swear to you with everything that is in me."_

_Tyler laughs and runs a hand down Roman's cheek, "I love you too, it scares me but I do. And if you want this as much as I do then I won't leave. I swear to you with everything that is in me too."_

_Roman's heart flutters, who would have thought? He's fucking sixteen and he's already found his soulmate. He gets scared too, like Tyler, they're so young. But who's to say what they're feeling isn't real? He brings Tyler's lips to his, kissing him soft, pouring all he feels into the kiss. "Pinky promise?" he asks, holding his pinky finger out to Tyler when the kiss ends._

_Tyler rolls his eyes, little laughs falling off his lips. Roman loves his laugh, it's annoying in that cute dorky way. Their fingers join for the promise and Roman captures Tyler's lips again. Is it possible to be addicted to someone? He thinks so, there's times he suffers from withdrawal symptoms when they're not together. "Make love to me," Tyler whispers against his lips._

_Roman flips them, his hands already skimming down to Tyler's sweatpants, "Of course, aulelei. Let me show you how much I love you."_

He's wet. That's the first thing that registers in Roman's mind when he jolts awake. He's wet with sweat and tears and he's finding it hard to breathe. He sits up on the huge bed, his haunted eyes darting around the foreign room he's in. It's the hotel room—the one Bayley booked for him. That somehow makes everything worse—he's in a foreign room and everything is closing in on him. He doesn't want to think about the dream he had. He doesn't…he doesn't. When the tears flow again, they're accompanied by a low growl. Why is Tyler doing this to him? Why this dream? Why bring up all those memories? Memories of broken promises.

He's crying now, low and wounded—his hair falls around him to curtain him, to protect him from the world. He doesn't know how long he spends releasing his anguish, his hurt. The emotions drain everything right out of him and in the end he's just left feeling hollow—drowning in a pit of darkness. He grabs his phone—he has an urge to hear _his_ voice. They spoke earlier in the day but he still wants to hear Seth's voice—he _needs_ to hear it. A thought comes to mind and he maneuvers his way in the darkness to grab his bag that's sat on one of the luxurious chairs in the presidential suite. He takes his laptop out, and goes back to settle on the bed with his back against the headboard. He opens the laptop and goes to the app Cody installed.

Seth's room appears on his screen, it's still dark but the cameras are expensive ones—he can clearly see Seth's form on the huge bed. The man's sleeping on his side of the bed—Roman isn't sure what it means. Maybe Seth misses him. A glance at the bedside clock reveals that it's 12:30 AM, he should be asleep, but sleep's a foreign concept to him. He hesitates as he dials Seth's number, 12:30 in LA means 03:30 in Miami. It's the early hours of Friday, Seth has a class in the morning. "Babe?" Roman should've hung up. Seth's voice is husky—it's still sleep roughened—Roman thinks it sounds sexy.

He looks at the laptop, Seth's sitting up, leaning his back against the headboard once he turns the bedside lamp on. "You shouldn't have answered," he notices what Seth's wearing. A smile forms on his lips slowly—Seth doesn't own a formal shirt. The crisp white button down that the brunet is wearing belongs to him.

"Then you shouldn't have called," Seth teases. He's smiling, Roman can see it.

"I wanted to hear your voice,"

"Why don't you buy a jar and store it in there, then?"

Roman laughs, "That's too much of a hassle. Send me a recording of your voice. In it, I want you to call me daddy. Tell me how hot I am and how you belong to me and no one else."

It's Seth turn to laugh, "If you're good, I will."

Roman laughs again but his mind's creating provocative thoughts in his head, he decides to change the topic before he ends up saying sinful things to Seth, "How was your day?" he already knows everything about Seth's day, Ted and Cody give him a report everyday but he still wants to know.

"Nothing much happened. Naomi and her little creature came over and we went to the beach."

"Do you call Leilei creature in front of her mother?" Roman asks, because he knows Naomi. She'd bite Seth's head off and be all dramatic.

"Hell no!" he guesses Seth knows how handful Naomi can be. Seth sounds horrified, "I call her Bambi."

"Bambi?"

"She's got huge eyes, like a bugeyed creature. She also reminds me of Bambi."

Roman nods his head even though Seth can't see him. He's glad Seth's getting on well with his family even happier that he seems fond of Leilani. Just like Leilani's fond of him too, Roman had seen how the little girl had followed Seth around that day they had the BBQ. "Bambi, huh?"

"She loves it, Leilani, I mean." Seth explains.

"Naomi?"

"She looked at me with a look I couldn't decipher. I'll just keep telling myself that she likes it."

Roman laughs, "She won't kill you—she likes you too much."

They're silent for a while, Seth still has his back leaning against the headboard. Roman zooms in to inspect his facial features—the smaller man looks gorgeous. Even with his bed hair and tired gaze, he looks as beautiful. "I'd give anything to be with you at the moment, Seth." He says quietly.

"I miss you too."

Silence again.

"I also ran into Elias…at the beach. We talked for a while and he hugged me. I didn't return it," Seth whispers into the phone. He's biting on his bottom lip—Roman sees how hard he's doing it. He's going to break his skin if he doesn't ease up. And he already knows about the encounter with Elias. He just chose not to say anything and he's not sure why Seth's bringing it up.

"Okay,"

"Are you mad?"

Roman sighs, "Do I have a reason to be mad, alofagia?"

"I don't think so. Not if I didn't hug back,"

"I'm not mad Seth. The only reason I'm calling is because I missed your voice. I miss you and I want to be next to you."

"Call Bobby, ask him to fly you home."

"I wish I could. He flew to Lanuola with Tamina—royal business. The stand in pilot is coming in the morning."

Roman's sighs deeply, he watches Seth breathe in his dress shirt, "I really miss you Roman, you and your warmth. Even though I always wake up to find you gone."

"I miss you too, baby." He ignores Seth's last statement. He's trying to forget and it's been working so far. Seth's been helping him forget, he's not going to allow the brunet to undo all that. "What are you wearing?" anything to distract him from the dreams.

He hears the hitch in Seth's voice, "Your shirt," Seth says the words after a while. He's breathing heavily into the phone. Roman finds his own body slowly reacting, Seth is the epitome of sexy. There's something alluring about him.

"Is that all you're wearing?"

"Yes," it's whispered but full of need.

Roman groans, Seth's heard it because the lip biting has returned. "Run your hand down your body," he watches as Seth obeys the instruction, "Slowly." He orders. Seth's doing as he's instructed, he runs his hand up from his neck, slowly, sensually, and a part of his shoulder is bared as his hand trails down and down until it disappears beneath the blanket. "I don't want you to touch yourself, alofagia."

Seth whines, "How did you know where my hand was? If I didn't know you were in LA, I'd have said you're watching me through the door or something."

He has no idea how close he is, Roman laughs quietly. "I wish I was there to see you. Now put your phone on speaker and place it on the bedside table."

"What now?" Seth asks once the phone's been placed on the table.

Roman adjusts the laptop on his lap, he chooses the best view to look at Seth as he gives another instruction, "Unbutton that shirt, slowly." He can't help the lustful groan making it's way past his lips when Seth's beautiful chest appears on the screen. It's not helping him that Seth's releasing these tiny whimpers and moans, "Run your right hand on your nipple Seth, I want you to do it the way I would if I were there with you. Rub on it until it's erect and then squeeze on it tightly," Seth's moans get louder but he obeys. "Trail your left hand slowly down your chest and keep working that nipple."

Roman's hard and aching inside his boxers, a bead of precum keeps wetting the expensive material, like a faulty faucet. He thinks about taking care of himself too but decides against it—he's sure he can come from just looking at Seth pleasuring himself. His eyes go back to the laptop when Seth moans particularly loud. The bedsheets that were covering him have fallen to the ground. Roman's head falls back on the headboard as he takes in all of Seth's body. The shirt's still on but it only covers his shoulders and his arms. The rest is just skin—tempting tan skin and spread legs.

Seth's private parts are revealed to him—all purple dick and balls. Roman's hand tightens around the cellphone, "Your body…whose is it, Seth?" The tone's hard, Roman would do anything to be where Seth is at the moment. "Answer me!" he instructs when the only response he's getting are breathless moans and whimpers.

"Yours," Seth's still breathless. He's now laying on his back, eyes fluttered shut while he plays with his other nipple. His left hand keeps trailing up and down, getting closer to his hard cock with each stroke. He decides to get the man out of his misery.

"What's in between your legs, it belongs to me too. I'm giving you permission, go touch it. Start with your balls—massage them for me."

"Aaaah. Feels so g-good," Seth whimpers. He spreads his legs wider, playing with his balls, he keeps thrusting his hips forward in sensual movements. He's biting on his bottom lip, eyes still shut closed.

"Do you want to touch it, baby?"

"Please," the word is strangled out.

"Then touch it," Roman orders. "The way I would do if I were there." He watches Seth grab a bottle of baby oil in the drawer, the brunet pours a little on his shaft and disposes of it carelessly on the floor.

"Fuck," Seth moans high-pitched as he runs his hand up and down his veiny shaft. Roman is pleased to see he's doing it the way he instructed—the man's stokes start teasingly slow like Roman would do. Roman feels himself grow even more in his boxers, it's nearing unbearable but he fights for self-control. Seth's shaky breaths sound on the telephone, the brunet pumps his shaft into his fist faster.

"Squeeze tighter," Roman orders. Seth whines so sexily that Roman releases a low groan. Seth's picking up his pace, he strokes his length in long hard strokes and squeezes the head every so often. His other hand's caught between playing with his nipples and his balls. The smaller man's trembling with lust on their bed, his hips keep on pumping into his fist. "Tighter," Roman growls, his shaft feels like it's going to burst any minute but he wants Seth to come first.

Seth's whimpering into the phone but his grip on his shaft is as tight as Roman instructed. The brunet's head keeps trashing side to side, moaning brokenly. "I've never wanted to feel anyone moving inside me as desperately as I want to feel you," Roman's surprised the brunet can even manage the words. He keeps making all these delicious sounds and what he's just said now…fuck. Roman wants him too—desperately. He's not even sure what they're waiting on.

"You sure you're ready for me, baby? I'll blow your back out, I doubt you'll ever walk straight again Seth. I'll fuck you on every surface, it won't matter where we are. And I'll never stop until I have you begging for mercy."

Seth moans louder, Roman watches him as he cums—uncoordinated thrusts and all. White ropes of liquid shoot past his shaft and Seth bites on his bottom lip to contain his cries of ecstatic pleasure. "I want to hear you Seth. Let me hear you, baby."

The sounds leaving Seth's lips are enough to make Roman shoot his own load, his eyes flutter shut, a drawn out groan escaping his lips. The sensations are unbelievable as white spots blind his line of sight before fading into nothing. His breathing's ragged and sweat trails down his forehead. The coldness of it contrasts how overheated he feels. His eyes are still closed and he's still recovering when Seth's soft, "Roman?" reaches his ears.

He picks his phone up, he's not sure when he dropped it and answers, "You good, baby?"

He readjusts the laptop that's sitting on half his lap so that it's placed properly again, Seth's laying on his back. He looks worn out and he's breathing harshly. He watches the brunet move his hair away from his face.

"I'm recovering," Seth chuckles breathlessly. "You?"

"Same," the silence that ensues after is a comfortable one. "You should go to bed, Seth. I'm sorry for keeping you up for this long."

"I don't mind," Seth whispers. "Will you…stay with me until I fall asleep?"

"Anything for you, Seth." The silence starts again. It's as comfortable as before, Roman watches the brunet button his shirt up and adjust the covers so that they rest on his waist. The brunet's gone back to sleeping on Roman's side of the bed, the pillow that Roman sleeps on is hugged tightly. It's endearing and Roman finds himself missing Seth even more. He shuts his laptop and sets it on the bedside table. Seth falls asleep about fifteen minutes later, his breathing still audible on Roman's phone. It's supposed to calm him, it does…to an extent. But there's also a niggling feeling at back of Roman's mind. He can't place it but his spirit feels heavy, drained for some reason.

Roman closes his eyes, his back still leaning against the headboard, he's tired but he can't sleep. He can never go to sleep after the dreams—and now Tyler's haunting him by showing him things that should be dead and buried. His still yearns for him—he feels it in the deepest parts of his soul. Roman groans and throws the phone beside him once he drops the call that was still running. His palms cover his eyes, a groan emitting past his lips—why couldn't Tyler free him? He's taken so much from him but the blond still tortures him. When would he ever be free of all the pain?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyy :)))). I hope everyone who celebrates the Fourth of July had a great one. This is long so please enjoy!

Seth runs a flat palm on the tailored suit he's expected to wear in about thirty minutes. He's attending a charity event with Roman in two hours. It's for the children's hospitals so it's for a good cause. Naomi advised him this morning that he better get used to all the event attending—it's mandatory for him to attend with Roman because they're dating. Yes, she knows, as do a billion other people. It would seem that privacy is a foreign concept to most humans. Because why else would people sneakily take pictures of Roman and him to leak them to the press?

The pictures are from the outing that Roman gatecrashed. Three days after the outing, Seth had woken up, still tired from the phone ~~sex~~ conversation he'd had with Roman, to a large number of missed calls from numbers he didn't recognize. He'd ignored them—he never returns a call from a number he doesn't recognize. It's only when Masina had showed him what the tabloids were saying that he knew. And it doesn't help that the pictures had been incriminating—he could clearly see himself kissing Roman outside that Disney store.

The whole thing had been a nightmare. It still is—he'd been harassed by the press and some of the students at college. The nosy brats received the news with mixed reactions—some would randomly come up to him to tell him what a great pair Roman and him make. And then there's those who looked and still look at him with displeasure because why would a hot as fuck Prince choose a 'prostitute' of all people to date (their words). And then there's the press who came to hound him with questions at McMahon college on that same Friday, they clearly don't waste time. The vultures are the definition of an early bird—they'd already been waiting for him at college even before he could attend his first lecture.

Seth hadn't wanted Roman to know about the harassment—the royal exaggerates sometimes. But of course, Roman's always a step or two ahead of him—Seth had been met with a giant of a man with a long ass beard waiting for him outside his last class the very same day he was being hounded by the paparazzi. Yes, he has two bodyguards now. John and the giant, Braun Strowman. The man's _huge_ and very intimidating which Seth figures is a good thing. He's still being hounded by the press and Braun helps keep them at bay. Especially on days where Roman's not there to threaten their pestering asses with one thing or the other.

Oh, and the bodyguards? They're present inside his lectures too. Seth isn't sure how Roman managed to get the college to agree and he's annoyed by it to be honest. But Roman insisted that it was necessary, because he attends lectures with some of the nosy brats who deem him unworthy of dating a Prince. And who knows what they'll try? Seth had tried to explain to the royal that surely the students wouldn't be that bitter that they'd try to hurt him, and in a public space full of people no less, but Roman's hardheaded. So Seth's stuck with two men with bulging muscles attending his lectures with him.

Because Braun's tall as fuck and resembles a huge tree, they sit at the very back. Elias joins him at the back sometimes (Seth can't stay angry for too long so they're back to being friends) and so do Bo and Finn. Seth's not sure what Sasha's studying, Elias had mentioned something about a business course and Curtis isn't a student, he co-owns The Grill Lounge with Elias. Elias's friends honestly make college bearable, Seth's not sure he'd survive being stared at by a bunch of people he has no interest in knowing. Some of them have come to him, the students, they've approached him with fake interests of being friends. But Seth isn't an idiot—most of the fake fan club see him as a fast ticket to fame and fortune. So he sticks with Elias and his friends, even if they do overwhelm him sometimes.

Dean's also been overwhelming him lately—his crazy friend called in later on that day of the leaked photos and screamed through the phone for a full five minutes causing Seth temporary deafness. Seth's not even exaggerating—Dean actually screamed like some fangirl on his phone. After he'd done his screaming fest, the ginger head had of course spent twenty minutes on the phone with Seth seeking details. The first question was if they've fucked yet, it's the most important one, according to Dean. He'd been disappointed to know that Seth hasn't had sex with Roman. Seth hadn't bothered explaining that they haven't had penetrative sex but have and are doing other sexual things. Dean would only pester him about how big Roman is and how his dick looks like and the girth and all the other things that he'd like to keep to himself. Roman's _his_ man—his assets belong to Seth and Seth alone.

Oh, and did he mention that the whole leaked photos scandal's introduced him to some of Roman's family? Telephonically though—he's spoken to Jimmy's twin, Jey. Initially, Roman had been against Seth talking to Jey and the brunet hadn't known why. But when he'd spoken to him, he knew why—Jey's as sweet as his brother but he's also one of those smooth 'I can trick you into having sex with me with only a few words' kinda guy. Seth still blushes every time he thinks about the conversation he'd had with the man. Roman says his cousin's a man whore and doesn't ever plan on getting married. Seth thinks Jey's just not met the right person yet.

And he'd talked to the parents too, well the mother. The Queen of Lanuola, Patricia or Mama (that's what she prefers to be called), is one of the kindest soul's he's met. Seth had honestly been nervous when he spoke to her this past Saturday but the woman was overjoyed and expressed how much she's glad her son found someone. According to her, Roman hasn't dated since a guy named Tyler ten years ago. Seth didn't know about a Tyler, in fact, the only thing he knows about Roman's relationships are that he's had two and the last one was three years ago.

He'd assumed that the mother didn't know about the relationship from three years ago but he'd understood—Manuia did say the relationship lasted less than a month after all. But the way the Queen spoke about this Tyler guy, Seth had been jealous a bit, the kind woman had made it sound like Tyler had been Roman's soulmate. She hadn't said much, just that the last time Roman looked as happy as he did in the leaked photos was with Tyler ten years ago. That's all she said but the way she'd said it…there's something there. Seth had wanted to ask Roman about the guy, he still does, but there's topics that are a no go area with Roman.

The royal doesn't need to tell him to back off—Seth always sees it in the way his face hardens. He always backs off and changes the topic when Roman does that. And Roman's the closed off type—he's never forthcoming about his a lot of things in his life other than family and work. But definitely not about his younger years spent in Lanuola. But like Seth's said before—he's learned to back off. Roman shares better when it's on his terms and at his own time.

He's already wearing the black suit, that was tailored to hide his knee cast thankfully, and is fixing the lustrous curls he's decided to do when Roman enters. The only thing that gives the other man away is his exotic manly scent that Seth would recognize anywhere, if not for that, Seth wouldn't have even known that Roman has entered his room. Despite Roman's large form, the royal's graceful in his movements and always silent in his footsteps—like a ninja.

Seth's heart rate quickens when Roman's arms entrap him into the royal's hard build. It quickens in joy, in adoration but it also quickens in fear. It scares him how he's consumed by Roman and everything the royal does. It scares him how Roman not only owns his heart but his thoughts, his desires—his soul. He lets his eyes flutter closed when Roman places a soft kiss on his neck. How is it possible to feel so much for someone he didn't even know a month ago? Roman's low growl causes him to bare his neck more openly and he whimpers as the royal's mouth feasts on his neck. Their eyes connect on the mirror when Roman moves away from his neck.

Seth looks into the eyes that have become his home. Even in their silence, their connection is intense as it is intimate. It feels like they're looking into each other's souls. "Hey," it's Roman who says the words after light years of silence.

"Hey," Seth echoes in a voice barely above a whisper.

"You look so beautiful," and if there's one thing Seth loves about being in a relationship, it's this. The compliments that never cease to make his heart flutter in happiness. He's never had someone who tells him how beautiful he as much as Roman does. And sometimes the royal says it at the most random of times--they'll be watching a movie or just talking about something and Roman will randomly tell him how beautiful he is. It's the same with his wellbeing, Roman will send a dozen messages at a time asking him about his day and how he's feeling. Seth feels so cherished and so cared for that it overwhelms him sometimes.

"Thank you," he turns around to face Roman. Wrapping his arms around the royal's neck, Seth brings Roman's head down so he can give the man a proper welcome. He's addicted to Roman's kisses, even the hard ones that leave both their lips bruised and kiss swollen. Seth's already expecting it when Roman's hand grabs a fistful of his hair and pulls his head backwards to plunder his mouth harder. He whimpers into the kiss, the passion is there as is the intensity. Seth's arms tighten around Roman's neck, the royal's tongue feels fucking amazing as it does things to him that leave his nether regions reacting.

He's not alone, Roman's right there with him. Something drops to the floor, it's his blazer, Seth realizes. He's not sure when Roman pulled the expensive item off of his body. They're moving, Seth isn't sure how they're managing to do that with their lips still locked together but they are. Large hands grab his ass possessively as Roman brings him even closer to his hard body. Seth moans when their hardened shafts rub together, creating sweet friction. His hands are shaking as he runs them down Roman's hard body to work on the royal's shirt.

He swears he could cry when Roman pulls away. Why's the damn royal stopping now? Half the time, the man's obsessed with him. A small whine slips past his lips, revealing his displeasure. He looks at Roman, the royal still has that penetrating gaze that sends shivers down his spine. The air's still charged and when he licks his lips before biting on the bottom one softly, his boyfriend closes his eyes and groans. Roman sounds pained and frustrated at the same time. Seth knows why when the man adjusts himself even though it's doing little to hide the prominent bulge in his pants.

"We have a…kids event to attend," Roman grits the words out. His eyes are still closed and his jaw clenches after he says the words. The man looks like he's counting to ten in his head, Seth isn't doing any better especially since he's feeling sexier knowing that he has this effect on Roman. "I have to leave, Seth. We'll be late if I don't."

When he opens his eyes, the lust fog has cleared a bit in his eyes but Seth can still see it. "Okay," he nods, looking away from Roman. It's probably best if they avoid any eye contact. "Go change, you'll find me waiting downstairs."

Seth bares his neck and allows Roman to breathe him in when the royal grabs his hair again. It lasts only for a second before Roman pulls away. He's about to say something dumb, Seth can tell. "I'm sorry for ruining your hair," the bastard has that grin he gets when he's fake apologizing for something he did on purpose. "Or maybe I shouldn't…the bird's nest kinda suits you, alofagia."

You see what he has to deal with everyday? Seth maneuvers his way around his large boyfriend to grab a pillow. Roman's already caught on and makes a dash for the door before Seth can deal with his childish ass. "You're worse than a child!" Seth shouts after him. There's a damn smile in his voice. Seth can't even muster the energy to be angry at the idiot.

***

The charity event is a success, even though there were a dozen speeches from people Seth has no interest in. He'd listened to Roman though, cheering the man's dominant self on and everything. All the attention had gone to him when Roman was talking on the elegant podium. Pictures of him were snapped by the press, and he's not the superficial type but he hopes they got his good side. This dating a royal thing is definitely becoming harder and more demanding.

They'd hosted an auction and auctioneered off hunky bachelors to the audience. All the funds made from the biddings will go towards reputable children's organizations and one of Nia's hospitals—she and her team of doctors work hard to give the best medical care to children diagnosed with chronic illnesses. Seth's still left in awe of how Roman's family cares about the public—they all seem too good to be true. How many rich families dedicate their time to the public? How many have foundations and projects set in place to assist the less fortunate?

Tamina came to report how much funds they were able to gather in the charity event, apparently it's more than they expected, it caused the crowd to cheer. It'd been about ten minutes later that she'd allowed them to mingle and get drunk…but not too drunk though (her words). So Seth's been following Roman around, as he talks to a few dignitaries he knows nothing about. Most of them seem to like him, some even include him in their conversation. Seth tries his best to answer what he does know but most of their topics are boring to be honest. Most of them remain uptight and serious even though the serious part of the event has long ended.

Seth spoke to Naomi and Jimmy in passing, they were rushing to fetch their daughter from their crazy nanny. Naomi said she doesn't trust the girl much after watching a horror movie about an evil nanny. And Roman, he's been called by a foreign dignitary from Saudi Arabia about an oil deal that he's been trying to secure. So he's left Seth to his own devices, it's been five minutes that the man's left him but Seth really wishes he would come back.

He gulps down his champagne and heads to the bar area to see if he can get something stronger. Maybe he should try out the whisky, see why Roman loves it so much. The bartender winks at him when he sets the tumbler of whisky on the counter. A small white paper accompanies the glass, Seth picks it up curiously. There's a name and a number. He looks up at the bartender, the man makes a 'call me' sign with his hand. Seth shakes his head, the guy's not even hot—he lacks a lot of things. The authority, the dominance and the power. And it's not because he's a bartender but he just doesn't have what his boyfriend has. He doesn't command respect with just his walk. He's not enchanting like Roman is.

Okay, so Roman's ruined him for other men. Seth doubts he'll ever find a stronger connection with someone else than the one he has with Roman. What he feels for Roman is unforced, it comes naturally to him. Their energy is real and it's intense and it's almost too much to take sometimes. Seth squashes the piece of paper and mindlessly slips it into his pocket. He takes a sip of the whisky he ordered and grimaces as the brown liquid sets his throat on fire.

"It's not for everyone, huh?"

Seth turns to face the owner of the shaky but smooth voice saying the words. It belongs to an old man—he looks important in his expensive suit. The man's skin reminds him of someone who's stayed in the sun for too long. His white hair looks like it's thinning. The man's still waiting for a response, he has a smile on his face that sends the bad kind of shivers down Seth's spine. "Yeah. It's definitely not for me," Seth finally says once he doesn't feel like he's swallowed fire.

"The name's Ric. I'm sure you've heard of me before,"

Seth wants to roll his eyes so hard and also wants to bring Elias here—to show the man what typical rich snobbish behavior looks like. It's standing right in front of him and too close to him for his liking. Seth moves away a bit and fakes a smile, "Uh, actually no."

He's expecting the old man to be offended but this Ric guy only smiles wider, "It's no train smash. We'll still get to know each other then. I'm Ric Flair of Flair Enterprises. It's a multi-million dollar company, with companies all over the world. I was the highest bidder in the event and it's a pity you weren't part of it. I had to settle for second rate goods instead," Seth feels his skin crawling as the man looks him up and down. The man appears to get an idea in his head as his eyes light up, "A threesome…it could work. I'll make it worth your while. Show me what your body can do and I'll pay you handsomely."

Seth thought these days were over. The days where filthy men thought they could buy him with money, "I have a boyfriend. He won't appreciate what you're trying to do. _I_ don't like what you're trying to do."

This Ric Flair laughs like he finds Seth cute or something, "That's even better, I'll pay him too. We'll make it a foursome."

Roman's hand is on his waist before Seth can answer. He knows it's his boyfriend because he's used to Roman's powerful scent by now, like he's said before. Seth leans into him as he watches Ric's eyes widen. Seth feels like laughing, just a second ago the man thought he was a god, untouchable, and now he's trembling in what looks like fear at the sight of a man who's more than half his age. "Mr. Flair, I'm sure you'll agree with me when I say it's time you left this building," the old man looks like he's going to defy Roman but changes his mind the last minute and nods his head instead. "And if I ever see you attending any of our events, I will _ruin_ you. You'll have everything one minute and find yourself at the bottom of the barrel the next." The words are a promise, said in the calmest of voices but so coldly at the same time.

Seth watches the man do a walk of shame until he's out of their sight. Seth moves to stand in front his boyfriend, he's expecting to see blank brown orbs but he's met with anything but that. And when Roman's eyes burn in anger, they always take him back to that first night they met. He's scared now because they burn worse than they did that night. Seth doesn't like the look on Roman's face. He's still staring after the direction that Ric went, his whole body's tense and his anger could drown the whole spacious hall the event was being hosted. Seth runs a timid hand down Roman's left shoulder causing the man to flinch before he turns his attention to Seth. Maybe his fear's showing because Roman's eyes soften a bit. "Let's go home," Seth whispers.

Roman's still watching him, unmoving, so Seth grabs his hand and heads for the exit to the VIP parking lot. He spots the black Bentley Roman drove to the event and heads towards it. He's going to the passenger's side when Roman grips his hand to stop him. Seth finds himself trapped between the car and an enraged royal. He's not sure what the man wants from him but he remains in place and waits for something…anything.

"What did he want?" the question is asked so calmly but Seth knows Roman by now. The man's anything but calm, his eyes reveal how far from calm he actually is. An arched eyebrow accompanies Roman's clenched jaw while he waits for a response.

"To b-buy m-me," Seth stammers out. Roman's eyes burn even darker, jaw clenching tighter.

"Why didn't you call me?"

"I-I thought you were still busy with the foreign associate,"

"Did he touch you?"

"N-No," Seth's heart is beating so hard. He's sure Roman can hear it and he wants to look away from the royal. He's still not completely calm, the brown orbs still have a blazing fire in them.

"You're mine, Seth."

Seth nods his head frantically, quick to reaffirm. Anything to calm the man down. He's seen how angry Roman can get before, but what he's seeing now—he's never seen this side before. "I am yours."

A cry leaves his lips when Roman grips his hair in a painful hold. He almost expects Roman to physically harm him but he chases the thought away—Roman had promised, they'd both promised to never get physical with each other. The royal's eyes still blaze in anger as they look at him. There's a minute of silence that's filled with so much tension and the only sound comes from his erratic breathing before Roman smashes their lips together.

The kiss is one of the hard ones—Seth feels like he's being punished somehow. He _is_ being punished, Roman's lips bruise him as they find him guilty of a crime he has no knowledge of. It _hurts_ —the internal more than the physical because it means Roman _still_ doesn't trust him. He's being prosecuted for having been approached by a man he knew nothing and didn't care about. A week later and they find themselves here again. Seth breathes deep when Roman finally lets him go. He tries to suck in as much air as he can, his gaze never leaving Roman's. They're blank now—the brown eyes are unreadable. As is the facial expression on Roman's face.

Seth's startled when Roman grabs his hand and leads him to the other side of the car. He steps inside the car and sits back as Roman closes his door for him. He's quick to turn the radio on when Roman goes to the driver's side. The station is, of course, playing Roman's favorite kind of music. Seth's slowly getting used to it, he even knows the name of the song that's playing. It's Donny Hathaway's 'I Love You More Than You'll Ever Know'. He's not in the mood to talk, Roman must be feeling the same way because the royal says nothing when he enters the car. He begins the fifty minute drive home instead while Seth ponders Manuia's words. Does he even know what he signed up for when he agreed to dating Roman?

* * *

 

"Wait here," Roman tells Seth when he parks the car outside the mansion. It comes out cold, not the warm way he'd wanted it too. He's still angry even though a part of him, deep inside, is telling him he's overreacting. He hadn't even caught much of Seth's conversation with that creepy pervert except when the son of a bitch had propositioned Seth into a foursome. He hadn't waited for Seth to respond to Ric Flair's proposition because he'd already been seeing red when he'd spotted Seth stood with the notorious sugar daddy who doesn't hide the fact that he fucks young men and pays them for their 'services' afterwards.

There'd been a whole host of emotions assaulting him all at once when he'd seen Seth with Ric Flair. The emotions had still been there when Seth led them out of the semi-packed hall, hell there's still some emotions running through him now. The anger is always there, at the forefront, whenever he sees any man standing with Seth. He'd be lying if he said he hadn't wanted to bash Ric's nasty face against a wall.

And there's other things, the jealousy, the hurt, the fear and so many other emotions he has no control over. The fear probably overpowers every other emotion because he _can't_ lose Seth. He's lost those he loved once, and he still hasn't recovered from it. How much more will it hurt if he loses Seth? With the ones he lost, he has to live with the fact that they're dead. But how much more will it hurt to lose someone who's alive and breathing? Roman feels like it would be worse. He _can't_ lose Seth, not with how intensely he feels for the brunet. Because even when he tries to hold back on what he feels for the other man sometimes—the feelings are always there, getting stronger with each passing day. And this is why he'd told Manuia he stands to lose more than Seth….

Roman holds his hand out to Seth once he's opened his door for him. Seth's doe eyes look up at him, a myriad of emotions swimming in them. Roman stops trying to read them all after he sees that hurt is the most prominent emotion. He's failing at the boyfriend thing again—dismally. He panics when Seth doesn't accept his offered hand but exits the car and walks away from him. Roman doesn't try to stop him—he watches Seth walk to the front door and enter, disappearing from his view.

Roman slumps against his car, a soft exhale leaving his lips. If he's being honest, he's not even sure why Seth's hurt. Maybe it's because he'd ignored him in the car. Roman didn't mean to but he'd been trying to gather his thoughts. The different emotions had still been assaulting him, and he's trying to learn to control his tongue. To control his anger and volatile emotions when around Seth. Maybe he should apologize…

He's thought of what to do when he finally enters the house. He can hear Seth speaking to Masina in the kitchen. It's nine in the evening—he's not even sure why the woman's not at her compound. But he's thankful for it—she'll serve as a distraction while he prepares in Seth's room. He decides to start in his room first. Roman changes out of his suit, hanging it neatly on the hanger. He's only in his boxers as he heads to Seth's room. He already knows that the brunet isn't in his room yet—he can still hear him conversing with Masina downstairs.

Roman heads for the en-suite bathroom. He runs the hot water inside the bathtub and looks inside the granite counters in the bathroom. He retrieves the bath salts and heavenly smelling coconut scented soap for the bubble bath. He pours the salts into the water and adds the soap watching the white suds flood the egg-shaped bathtub. Jazz music plays on the speakers, it's not Seth's favorite, he knows. But the brunet has an awful taste in music—he can barely hear a word with all that screaming the 'singers' do.

The light in the en-suite bathroom's dimmed just right. There's a mini fridge in Seth's room and it's packed. Roman goes to grab the champagne and a champagne flute from a mahogany cabinet in the room. He goes to place the items in the en-suite bathroom. _Practice,_ his mind tells him once everything's sorted. Right, he needs to practice an apology. _I don't know you're mad but I'm really sorry,_ those are the first words his mind comes up with. No, if he admits that he doesn't know what's caused Seth's sour mood maybe the brunet won't accept his apology.

He practices a few more times in front of the mirror in the bathroom but dismisses all the apologies—they don't feel right. He tries again, "You're so important to me and I'm sorry for hurting you." The words sound right, they're the most genuine. "Perfect," he whispers to himself.

"What are you doing?" He's still nervous and when he hears Seth's voice he jumps a little. He turns his attention to Seth, the brunet's eyes have moved away from him to take in the picture inside the bathroom. His gorgeous doe eyes are widened and he looks so _beautiful,_ Roman feels his heart falter. How did he ever get so lucky?

"I'm sorry, Seth." He says quietly. _Shit,_ he didn't start the words right. Not the way he practiced them but Seth's looking at him. The emotions are swimming in his brown pools again and Roman's too afraid to read them. "I didn't mean to hurt you. You mean so much to me, please forgive me." He's being genuine. He still isn't sure if he caused Seth's hurt and if he did, how, but he apologizes because Seth's _so_ important to him and hurting him is the last thing he ever wants to do.

Seth bites on his bottom lip, Roman can clearly see the war in his eyes. Roman panics and speaks up again, "I mean it, Seth. I'm really sorry. Don't leave me, please. Tell me what I did wrong."

He receives no answer for so long that Roman finds himself feeling defeated, he leans against the counter in the bathroom. The tension in the spacious bathroom has him wanting to run away. Seth's eyes are watering, he looks on the verge of crying and Roman—he wants more than anything to embrace the brunet. He wants more than anything to show Seth how sorry he is. How much he cares. But he's afraid—of how Seth will react to his touch.

"Did you do all this?" the voice asking the question is barely above a whisper.

"Yes,"

Seth takes a step towards him, then two and then three. Roman's heart is on the verge of exploding—he isn't even sure what Seth will do. He tries to back away when Seth stands right in front of him but he has no way of escaping—Seth has him cornered. His eyes close when Seth lifts a hand to stroke his cheek. "You hurt me so much sometimes. I don't know if I should be angry at you for how much you hurt me or myself for letting you get away with it," the bitter laugh that accompanies the words break his heart into pieces. He opens his eyes to find a lone tear cascading down Seth's left cheek.

"I'll try and do better," Roman whispers. "I promise, alofagia, I'll try to do better."

"That's all I want from you,"

Roman's still uncertain as Seth leans up to join their lips. The brunet's soft in his kisses—far more softer than Roman's normally used to. But he likes it—there's a tenderness to it that melts his heart. He's not sure when they leave the bathroom but they've managed to go back to Seth's bedroom. Their kissing intensifies, Roman's body is on fire with each touch to his body. He grips Seth's waist in a sure hold, letting his hands trail slowly to the brunet's pert ass.

Seth gasps into his mouth when he squeezes the life out of the brunet's buns. Seth's only wearing a pair of tight briefs and the black dress shirt he'd worn at the event. The energy between them is electrifying—the need to get closer increases rapidly. Roman carelessly rips Seth's shirt open, a few buttons scattering to the ceramic tiles around them. He moves his lips from Seth's lips to his neck, sucking on the most sensitive part of Seth's neck. He hears Seth's strangled moans when he bites into the tender skin, leaving bruises there.

His right hand grabs a nipple and he circles it with his fingers while his left hand grips Seth's hair to pull his head back. "You're so gorgeous like this Seth," he kisses Seth's neck and whispers the words right after.

Seth doesn't respond, a cracked moan comes out of his lips. Roman's ministrations continue, he latches onto an erect nipple. He knows how sensitive Seth's nipples are from how the smaller man always writhes at the slightest touch on the pink nubs. He's not surprised when Seth holds his head in place as he sucks on his nipples like they're one of the best things he's ever tasted—and they are, Roman loves Seth's nipples.

Seth's shirt falls to the ground completely, leaving him in just his briefs. They fall onto the bed and Roman has to balance his weight so as to not Seth's still injured leg. Seth's legs spread so easily for him—welcoming him. Roman gets in between them, he groans in barely contained arousal when Seth's length rubs against his. The friction is out of this world, he presses deeper into Seth's body to get more of the delicious friction. He has Seth's lips joined with his again while they grind into each other on the bed.

It's not enough, it's far from enough. Roman's hands travel to Seth's waist, his index fingers hook into the waistband of Seth's briefs. He's looking into Seth's eyes as he asks for permission for more than just removing his underwear this time. He's asking for something deeper, Seth's eyes search his before they widen. The brunet nods his head gently, a small sigh sounding from his lips when Roman tugs off his underwear. Roman moves away from Seth a bit to appreciate his full beauty. He's done this before but today's different, in every way.

He's enchanted as he always is when he looks at Seth. He appreciates Seth's body—how hard it is in some areas and still soft in others. He appreciates Seth's slightly hairy thighs and his gorgeous length, that's red and oozing with precum. Roman isn't any better in terms of hardness—his cock could probably drill a hole into a wall not to mention his boxers are wet with his precum. "Wow," he whispers to himself, totally enthralled by Seth's beauty.

Roman licks his lips, this sight in front of him must be the most beautiful he's ever seen. Seth on his back, legs spread, everything revealed to him—it's like an offering of sorts. Roman's right hand goes to curl around Seth's warm length. "God, Roman!" Seth's voice is strangled. He arches his back and pistons his hips forward. The precum dripping out of Seth's arousal serves as lubrication and Roman pumps faster, transfixed by the different faces Seth keeps making. The brunet's eyes are shut tight, lips pinched tightly together.

When it's too much for him to take, Roman repositions himself between Seth's spread legs. He keeps his fast strokes, feeling Seth writhe beneath him. "You're everything to me, alofagia." He whispers, pressing kisses all over Seth's face. "You're so important to me and I don't what I'd do without you," he continues. Seth's eyes open, the brunet's biting on his lips to keep from crying. But the unshed tears are there in his eyes. Roman presses their warm bodies together as his lips latch to Seth's. He kisses the brunet deeply, pouring all he feels into the kiss. He tries to show Seth—in his kisses, in his touches as they roam Seth's beautiful body—how important the brunet is to him.

"You're my world, Seth." Roman's kissing down Seth's chest as he says the words. Full lips touch every inch of Seth's golden skin, the brunet's moans getting louder when Roman gets closer and closer to his length. The words of praise don't stop, Roman makes sure Seth knows how beautiful he is with each press into Seth's skin. "Tell me what you want, baby." Roman says the words against Seth's length—his warm breath fanning the angry red arousal. The head is wet with precum, his balls sway beneath his length. Seth pumps his hips into the air and Roman's big hands grip his waist, rendering Seth helpless as he is pinned to the bed. "Tell me what you want," Roman's every exhale touches Seth's private parts. It causes the brunet to sob in a plea.

" _Please,"_

"Please what?"

"I need your mouth on me, please Roman." The reply satisfies Roman. He hasn't done this in ten years but he's sure he still knows how it works. Roman's skilled tongue starts with the insides of Seth's thighs, he licks and nips and sucks on the hairy thighs working his way up to Seth's length. He feels Seth humping into the air when Roman gets closer. Roman licks Seth's perineum, getting closer to the brunet's balls. "Roman, please." A smirk tugs at Roman's lips. He teases the brunet's length again, tracing his tongue up and down Seth's veiny shaft before going back to licking the inside of his thighs.

"Oh my god!" Seth's voice is barely his own. His body arches forward and he frantically pistons his hips forward when wet heat engulfs his length. Roman doesn't bother with the teasing—his sucks on the crown of Seth's cock fervently. He takes in more of Seth's length, feeling the brunet pulsing inside his throat. Seth's hands grip his hair and tightens when Roman swallows him to the hilt and hollows his cheeks and hums around the smaller man's length. "Fuck! It f-feels so good," Seth cries out. Roman's hums, and it sends vibrations through Seth's body.

Seth's moans and cries of pleasure only make him harder, Roman's so hard in his boxers and he's leaking profusely. His cock aches from the lack of attention and he maneuvers removing his boxers while still driving Seth insane with his mouth. He sucks in a sharp intake of breath around Seth's dick when cold air whips his sensitive cock. "I'm going to come, Ro…" Seth's words fails him when he tenses and spills his load inside Roman's mouth. The brunet moans brokenly while Roman savors the taste of Seth's cum spilling into his mouth. He tries to swallow everything but he hasn't done this in ten years so what he can't swallows drips down his mouth.

Seth goes lax beneath him, Roman moves up to join their lips. He grips Seth's hair and pins the smaller man's head to the bed while ravaging his mouth in a lust filled kiss. Seth's whimpering into the kiss, Roman's right hand is curling around his length. "It's time for the real stuff, Seth." Roman whispers against his lips. Seth's eyes reveal his exhaustion but Roman won't let him go. Tonight, they're going all the way. They've waited enough. His strokes are fast, they're vicious and Seth whimpers with every hard stroke Roman makes.

When he feels Seth hardening in his hand, Roman stops and grinds against him. He juggles that and opening the bedside drawer. He takes out a condom and lube—he'd bought the items yesterday. Roman goes back to teasing Seth's wet body. He kisses the brunet's lips harshly, groaning into his lips at the charged air between the two of them. Everything in the room is hot—it's not just their bodies, it's the connection between them. Everything is alight and the air itself seems to be drowning in anticipation of their coupling.

Roman coats his fingers, his hungry gaze fixated on a sweaty Seth's wide brown orbs. The brunet's lips are red and swollen, he has bite marks bruising every inch of his chest. His nipples are pinker than usual, almost red and he just looks so fucking innocent and sinful at the same time. His brown mane is wet and fall everywhere around him. "Are you ready?" Roman asks, voice breathless.

Seth's eyes soften in adoration and he gives a wordless nod. Roman's scared as he guides a finger to Seth's entrance, like he's said before, he hasn't done this in ten years. He doesn't want to hurt Seth. His index finger enters Seth slowly, he watches Seth's face for any discomfort. There's a bit of discomfort he sees in Seth's eyes but the brunet nods his head again, prompting Roman to continue. "Aaaah," the scream that leaves Seth's lips is completely sinful. Roman watches him, not wanting to miss a thing while working the man loose. His fingers keep searching until they find Seth's prostrate. The silent scream and the way Seth arches his back when Roman finds that pleasure point is so enticing Roman commits it to memory.

He adds a fourth finger inside Seth's tiny hole because he's big. There's a reason Naomi tells him he has a porn star dick sometimes and he really doesn't want to hurt Seth. He wants this to be pleasurable for both of them. He senses when Seth can't take anymore teasing—the brunet's shaking and trashing on the bed beneath him. "Tell me what you want, Seth." He instructs. There's something so unbelievably sexy about Seth telling him what he wants.

"Fuck, you. I want you," the strangled words fill the quiet room.

Roman pulls his fingers out and rolls the condom onto his dick. He hisses as he does that, he's left himself unattended since this whole thing began. After coating his shaft with lube, Roman lines his length to Seth's entrance. He spreads the smaller man's legs wider and his cock rubs up and down Seth's hole. "FUCK!" the word is gritted out. The head is in and Roman finds himself delirious with pleasure. Something about Seth's warmth drives him insane and his eyes squeeze shut, his jaw clenching hard. He's fighting for control because this—this is not what he'd been expecting. He hadn't expected it to feel so good.

His eyes are still closed but he hears Seth's broken cries—he's not sure if they're of pain or pleasure. Roman releases a deep breath and sinks in further, body shaking from how Seth's heat snugly engulfs him. "You feel so good, Seth," he wheezes, eyes still closed. Seth's arms fold around his neck, bringing them chest to chest.

Roman's still fighting for control, for him sex has never been just a physical act. There's always been a level of intimacy and soul binding connection that he's always associated with the act. It's the reason he doesn't do causal sex. And right now, being in Seth's warmth, it's overwhelming him. So many emotions are on the surface that Roman fears Seth will see them all if their eyes meet. This closeness to Seth is something out of this world. It steals his breath away to the point that Roman finds it too much to take.

"Please move. Roman, please," even the whispered words do something to him. They ignite an unquenchable fire inside his veins. Roman complies, he'd do anything Seth wants. A string of curses leave his lips with each and every slow thrust he makes into Seth's wet warmth. Little breaths of air tickle his neck with every gentle thrust he makes, Seth's exquisite warmth gripping his shaft. The brunet's tightness is out of this world. Roman has to fight for control as he pumps into Seth over and over again.

"You're so tight Seth," Roman groans, pinning Seth to the bed and picking up his pace. He keeps driving his cock in and out of Seth's rosebud, his pumps becoming harder and faster. "So tight," his breathing is labored from the feeling of Seth clenched around him. Seth's trembling beneath him, soft sounds fall off his lips from how good everything feels. The air's still charged—with so many different emotions. Roman's afraid to address them. Being with Seth like this makes him feel vulnerable—more vulnerable than he's been in a long time.

He tries to keep his composure even as he pistons into Seth over and over again—pinning him to the bed and fucking him senseless. A broken scream sounds in the room when Roman's thrusts hit Seth's sweet spot head on. The hands around his neck go to his back—tightening before blunt nails rack down Roman's back. The sound of skin slapping against skin gets louder, their grunts and moans steal the spotlight though. This—this is so much more than both of them had ever anticipated.

They're reaching another level—it's not just their bodies being one. It's their souls too—their souls are touching. There's tears brimming in Roman's still closed eyes—he doesn't know how to handle this. He wasn't ever prepared for the intensity of these feelings he has. He buries his face into Seth's neck and sucks on his salty neck, gripping the brunet's hips in a bruising hold.

"I don't know what you're doing to me Seth," he groans into the smaller man's neck. He's trying so hard to keep the emotions at bay—trying so hard to keep everything he's been feeling hidden. But it's trickling out bit by bit. And maybe this is why he's been avoiding the sex with this man currently sobbing in pleasure beneath him. Maybe he'd known all along how this intimate act with Seth would drop all his defenses.

The slams into Seth's body become so hard and so rough, the headboard starts banging against the wall. Seth's so tight and so warm and so wet, his body welcomes him so snugly—Roman feels he's home. Roman fills Seth over and over again—stretching him wide and ruining him on the inside. Seth's trembling and it's so _intense._ Roman doesn't know if Seth's in heaven or hell but what they're doing feels out of this world.

"Please look at me," Seth's words cause Roman's heart to stutter in fear. There's so many signals screaming in his head. _Don't allow him to see,_ it's what his mind screams the most. If he looks into Seth's eyes—there's emotions he won't be able to conceal. His pain, his grief, his loneliness, his joy, his insecurities—every emotion will be right there for the man currently pleading with him to look at him. _I can't,_ it's the second thought that runs through him. He can't dare allow himself to be that vulnerable. Seth already owns so much of his soul.

"Please, Roman." Roman's slowly finding himself helpless against the pleading. _You owe him that much,_ his heart's always known better. His mom's always told him it would never mislead him. Roman moves away from Seth's neck and closes his eyes briefly, trying to gather the strength to look Seth in the eyes. He groans when Seth clenches around him and rocks on his hard length. His eyes open slowly—his vision's blurred, making him struggle to see. Seth strokes his cheeks before his hands go around Roman's arms, tightening hard enough so that they're flush against each other. "I'm falling for you Roman," Seth whispers into his ear. "I wish you knew how I much I feel for you. I wish you knew how much you owned me—body and soul."

Roman lifts his head slightly, there are tears falling down Seth's eyes. He wants to wipe them away—he wants to wipe anything that makes Seth unhappy away. Their lips entangle—it's soft, it's intimate and it connects their souls. Seth stiffens beneath Roman with each pounding that's made into his overheated body. He feels possessed and defenseless—it's almost too much to take. "Let go baby," Roman whispers, gentling his rough slams just a tiny bit. He watches Seth lose it—watches the smaller man at his most vulnerable moment.

Seth's eyes roll to the back, his mouth open in an endless scream. Roman again captures the moment, committing it to memory. When Seth goes limp beneath him, the brutal pace picks up again. Roman grips the man beneath him in a bruising hold , pinning him to the bed while using his body to take his pleasure. The screams start again from Seth, he trashes on the bed while seeking something to hold on to. Roman slams into him, filling him and stretching his hole with each forceful thrusts.

He'd meant what he said that day—he's never ever going to stop until Seth's screaming for mercy. It doesn't take long—with his dick giving Seth's abused prostate a rough pounding, the man screams for mercy eventually. He arches into Roman and scratches his back, begging him to stop. "It's too much. Roman please, _please!_ " The words are enough to make Roman shoot his load into the condom. His whole body weight is supported by Seth when his body fails him. Seth's breathing harshly against his neck. "Roman?"

"Mhm?"

Seth's silent again for a while before he speaks quietly, "You're heavy."

His head moves from it's favorite hiding place, Seth's neck, to look the brunet in the eyes. His eyes still have a wetness in them and he looks wrecked and spent. "I hope I didn't hurt you,"

Seth shakes his head and cups his cheeks gently, "It's a good pain. What I'm feeling now was worth it,"

"I'm falling for you too, Seth." Roman says the words quietly. He looks into Seth's eyes, daring the other man to explore the depths in his brown pools. Of course there's things he holds back, he doesn't allow Seth to see everything. But he allows him to see how he feels—how strongly he feels.

A smile tugs at Seth's lips and he brings Roman in for a tender kiss, "Stay inside me a little while longer." The brunet whispers against his lips.

"I thought you said I was heavy," Roman teases.

"It doesn't stop the fact that I love your weight on top of me. I love having you in me even more,"

"If it makes you happy then I'll stay. Anything for you Seth," Roman whispers, his arms going to settle beneath Seth's waist. The brunet's arms are around his neck as they breathe each other in. It's probably five minutes later that a niggling feeling claws at Roman's heart. It claws inside his mind as well. _Chase him away—like Nikki,_ it's his mind saying the words. Roman closes his eyes. He's not going to do it—this felt right. It still does. Despite the niggling feeling of betrayal. What he's done with Seth feels right. He hasn't betrayed Tyler. How do you betray someone who abandoned you, anyway?

He lets Seth consume him instead. He basks in the man's kind aura and allows it to settle his unstable emotions. Maybe if he allows Seth to consume him enough, he won't even have to wake up in the middle of the night today. Maybe being consumed by Seth will chase all the demons away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello :). Okay so first thing is I'm sorry for not responding to your reviews. I value your insights but haven't had much time to go to the net lately. And lastly apologies for taking long with the update. Thank you for reading and please enjoy.

He's been awake for about an hour when he feels soft lips touching every part of his face. Roman's eyes remain closed, his breathing intentionally even as he allows Seth to kiss his forehead, his eyebrows, his eyelids, his cheeks, the corners of his lips before they finally rest on his lips softly. Seth's hands are curious too, they trace Roman's eyebrows, his jawline and then lips before the royal feels Seth place the softest of kisses on them again.

"Should I be worried that I will be raped in my sleep? Your hands are very curious, alofagia," Roman says in an amused tone. The hand that had slowly been trailing down Roman's chest and nearing his nether regions freezes, Seth's doe eyes meeting clear brown ones.

Roman smiles lazily, watching Seth roll his eyes as the words sink in his head. "You're here," the genuine surprise in Seth's voice tugs at Roman's heartstrings. Perhaps he should do this 'wake up next to boyfriend' thing more often—even when he's had bad nights. The look Seth's giving him tells him it would be worth it—the brunet's looking at him like he's his world, at least that's what Roman thinks the look means. He turns on his side, his left hand running down Seth's side before drawing the smaller man closer.

"I know,"

"What about work?" Seth asks, making crawly fingers on Roman's tattooed pec, "You're late for work."

Roman's lips touch Seth's forehead, "I overslept." His own voice reveals his awe. He hasn't slept straight through the night without having to wake up in the middle of the night in almost two months. They went to sleep around twelve, Seth and him. It's nearing seven now which means he's slept for nearly six hours. It feels good, really good—to wake up next to Seth like this. There's butterflies that are continuously swimming in his stomach with each second Roman spends looking into Seth's tired gaze.

"I should give you sex more often, maybe then I'll get to have this more."

Roman doubts it—he's not naïve enough to think that the dreams will stop just because Seth and him have taken things to the next level. Yes, their connection feels deeper to him. Seth has easily become his weakness. But a part of him knows the dreams won't stop—because he can never be free of Tyler. So many things bind them together. His deeply embedded feelings for the dead boy. His resentment towards Tyler for never being honest with him. His anger towards the boy for how he destroyed their future.

Roman closes his eyes, trying to drive the thoughts away. It's not fair on the brunet beside him—he can't disrespect Seth like that. By thinking about a past lover and the feelings he had-that he still has-for said past lover. "I'll try to wake up next to you more often," Roman plants his lips against Seth's soft ones leisurely.

"How come you've never before?"

Seth's wide orbs are curious, they're confused too and they're hesitant as the words leave him. Roman stares at him intently, making sure his face is blank enough that Seth doesn't see the war going on his head. He's not ready to talk about his dreams, he doesn't think he ever will be. Before Manuia, no one else knew about them. Not even his parents, because he'd gotten so good at masking what he's feeling from those who care about him. He'd learned from the best, at least Tyler had left him with something.

"Sleep is not really my thing," the words shoot to his mouth before he can stop them.

"Because of your dreams?"

Roman doesn't respond, he's too caught of guard to do so. How does Seth know about the dreams? The brunet's a deep sleeper, Roman doesn't remember a time where Seth woke up because of his dreams. Even on days he wakes up gasping in pain and utter wretchedness. And he's considered it a good thing—he never wants Seth to see him like that. Roman's face hardens—he never wants Seth to see how weak he is in the night. He's already struggling with being so vulnerable around the smaller man.

"I'm sorry for pryi—"

"Yes," the response, again, slips past his lips before Roman can stop himself. Roman opens his eyes, he's not sure when he'd closed them—he meets Seth's widened brown pools.

"How often do you get them?"

Roman shakes his head, "Often enough that I don't want to talk about them."

Something flashes in Seth's eyes, it looks like defiance. The brunet looks ready to argue with him, Roman's face hardens even more than before, his eyebrow raising. Seth seems to get the picture—a small sigh leaves him and he nods his head, "I'm not going to force you to talk about it. But I worry about you sometimes, I feel like you don't sleep at all."

Roman's lips touch Seth's forehead repeatedly before he speaks against the brunet's warm skin, "I don't want to talk about it."

"Fine," even though Seth says that, Roman can tell the man's not very 'fine' with it.

Roman remains silent, he brings Seth's body even closer to him so that the other man is flush against his side. He can feel Seth's flaccid length against his hipbone. The brunet flinches when Roman runs a hand down his spine to squeeze his supple ass gently. His left eyebrow arches in curiosity when Seth releases a low groan.

"Everything hurts," Seth explains. "I don't mind the pain though," the words lessen Roman's guilt. He doesn't have to feel that guilty for going so hard last night. Thinking about their night makes him laugh like a child beaming with happiness, everything still feels so surreal to him. "What is it?"

"We had sex," Roman's still laughing, eyes still on Seth. There's an undeniable happiness etched on his face. There's a tenderness in his brown pools as well.

"You're like a child sometimes,"

"I'm your child."

Seth releases a low chuckle "All mine," his legs welcome Roman in between them. The playful mood's changing into one of seductive need. Seth folds his arms around Roman's neck. Roman's hardening shaft pokes Seth's stomach causing the smaller man to release a tiny moan.

"Permission to enter your turd cutter, sire?" Roman asks in a British accent, rubbing himself on Seth's ravaged hole.

Seth rolls his eyes, pressing their bodies together and accepting the passionate kiss he receives from the man who's about to fuck him through the mattress, "Yes. It's all yours after all," he whispers against Roman's lips. He opens his legs wider, revealing himself to Roman.

***

"You guys finally did _it,"_ Manuia's voice is teasing. He leans back on his chair and takes a sip of his espresso, waiting for Roman's response.

"Finally?" Roman scoffs, "You waited five months."

"It's different, you're not a bottom. You don't know how scary it is to think about those big dicks attached to your bodies entering our small holes,"

Roman chokes on the coffee he was drinking. The hot liquid burns his throat but he barely notices as he looks around the busy coffee shop, a few eyes are on them. Most of the eyes reveal awe and curiosity and some of these patrons look at him like lovesick puppies. At least no one's attempting to take their pictures—that's one thing he won't tolerate. Manuia's eyes are mischievous when Roman looks back at him, "Manuia! Know your place, you can't say things like that—"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Manuia rolls his eyes. His bodyguard clearly doesn't buy his annoyed façade, granted his voice has a smile in it. Roman can't bring himself to be serious. He's had a great morning and he feels like nothing can dampen his spirits today. "I'm just glad you're a bit more mature now. I didn't get any knocks on my door in the middle of the night from your naked lovers so I'm taking it you actually had a heart this time."

Roman grimaces, he doesn't want to think about how he hurt his ex-girlfriend and ruined their first time for her. Although Nikki forgave him, he knows both her and John still harbor a bit of hate for him. "It was never my intention to throw her out like that," Roman clears his throat. "After the…sex, I felt guilty and I couldn't see past anything except making her leave. I'm lucky she'd even stayed as long as she did. I didn't deserve her."

"You didn't," Manuia agrees. Roman swallows the panipopo in his mouth and smiles. Manuia's honesty is so refreshing to him—even when he hates the man sometimes. "So you didn't feel guilt last night?"

"After…after it felt like something was missing. But I'm trying to do my best with this one, Manuia. The feelings I have for him overpower the guilt. Tyler…he knew how in love I was with him and he—" Roman clears his throat again, a small sigh escaping his lips. He pushes his food away, appetite suddenly lost. "I don't want to discuss him in such a public area."

"You never want to discuss him at all,"

"It hurts too much," the only thing that reveals his hurt are his eyes. Roman's exterior is stoic, his voice devoid of emotion, "I can't have that. Not today,"

Manuia knows when not to pester, "Okay. So let's talk about Seth then. He makes you happy, doesn't he?"

The smile forming on Roman's lips is completely unforced, "We're driving to Tampa today."

"Nice! A little baecation with the bae," Manuia teases, following Roman outside the restaurant. He slides on his shades immediately the sun hits their faces.

Roman pauses briefly after Manuia's opened the car door for him, befuddlement present on his features. "Baecation? Bae?"

Manuia knows Roman's serious, he's known the royal long enough to know when he's genuinely confused. "Vacation with the bae. Bae is a term of endearment, Your Highness."

Roman frowns, meeting Manuia's eyes on the rearview mirror, "But I thought bae meant—"

"Ignore that," Manuia says, already knowing what Roman was about to say. "You're not of this earth, Your Highness. That or you were seriously born in the wrong era. You're worse than your parents."

"That's a compliment."

Manuia rolls his eyes, "Anyway, which hotel are you guys staying at? Did you get Bayley to book one for you or should I call her now?"

Roman shakes his head, "We're staying in Seth's old apartment. I only discovered this morning that he kept it. It's insurance for the day I kick him out, apparently."

"I don't blame him. I would've done the same, to be honest."

"I understand too," Roman says, "I'm just worried about when we get there. To that…building," his voice lowers in worry, "He hasn't forgiven me for that night. What if the memories assault him once we get there and he realizes he made a mistake? What if he backs out and leaves me all alone?"

"He wouldn't,"

"How do you know, Manuia? You're not the one who hurt him. He hates me, brother, a part of him still hates me," a bitter chuckle escapes Roman. "I'm just _nailing_ the boyfriend thing, aren't I? First Nikki, now Seth."

"You're trying, Your Highness and that's enough. It's enough for Seth, he may not be ready to forgive you but what he feels for you—it's genuine. I see it every time he looks at you. I see it in the way he talks to you. In the way he talks about you. Trust what he feels for you and don't focus on anything else. He knows how sorry you are and when the time's right, he'll accept your apology."

Roman's lips purse together, he tries to defeat the bad feelings clawing at his heart. If he's being honest, he's really nervous about this trip they're taking. Every hurtful word he'd uttered to Seth that night plays repeatedly in his head, like a broken record. He wants to take every painful word back—wants to remove the memory of wretched eyes looking at him away. But he can't. His heart's been beating uneasily with every passing hour, Roman doesn't want to go back there—he really doesn't. But Seth's his weakness. There's not many things he can deny the man, especially now. He feels a whole lot more closer to him—a whole lot more vulnerable. So he'd agreed to them staying in that building for the weekend, even as it caused his heart to stumble in fear. Because if Seth ever changed his mind…

Roman blocks the thought away, Seth wouldn't do that to him. The brunet is different and Roman—he doesn't think he'd ever be able to let him go. He _won't_ let Seth go. Which is why he's going to try. Dave Koz's 'I believe' plays on the speakers and Roman realizes Manuia's turned the radio on. He closes his eyes, a small smile forming on his lips and he allows the music to calm him. What would he ever do without Manuia?

* * *

 

"Aren't you coming?" Seth stops at his apartment door to spare his boyfriend a glance. Roman's stood about three meters away from him, two small navy luggage bags in one hand and the other one resting inside his tracksuit, it's an emerald Nike one and it honestly looks good on him. His raven hair is tied into a man bun, it looks messier than usual and the man's wearing his glasses. Yes, Roman wears glasses sometimes and they make him look a billion times hotter. Which should honestly be considered a crime—the man is already a hot as fuck exotic deity.

A throat clearing disrupts Seth's ogling as Roman makes his way to him. The man says nothing, he merely looks at Seth with a pensive look etched on his face. He's spotted that look since they left Miami and Seth hadn't thought much of it, but he's getting worried. Roman's been quieter than usual well. And maybe it's because Seth feels like their connection runs deeper now than it did before the sex but the brunet thinks he knows exactly what's wrong with the man. "I don't hate you," he whispers, his arms going to fold around Roman's neck.

The royal buries his face into Seth's neck, breathing him in. Seth bares his neck more openly, allowing Roman to take comfort in his scent. He's gotten used to it—how Roman seems to think his neck is his place of refuge. "I'm so sorry alofagia," the words are whispered shakily against his neck, the royal's warm breath touching the sensitive part of his skin.

"I know," Seth's whispers into Roman's ear, "You hurt me that night, so much. Your words—they made feel so worthless, they confirmed I was my mother's son. You made me feel so useless, Roman. And the final blow was you throwing that money at me. I tried to hate you but I just never could even when I convinced myself I did. I especially don't hate you now because you already own so much of me. You're my heart, Roman. You consume me in ways I cannot explain—and if I ever lost you, I'd be losing a part of me. I adore you so, so much. I don't hate you, I never have, I never will. Please believe me."

Roman looks calmer when he pulls away from him, the pensive look is still there, only a tiny bit though. Seth leans up to place a quick kiss on soft lips before turning away from Roman to open the door to his apartment. He turns the switch on, light flooding his small hallway. It's weird to him—how this place that was his home for over five years feels so foreign now. He distantly hears Roman close the door, his feet are carrying him into the living room. There's a few things that have been moved around, Seth thinks Xavier's probably responsible for that.

He doubts Dean would even bother to come and clean his apartment, even if it's once in a while. The embarrassment is there when he hears Roman's footsteps behind him. The man gets to see what kind of poverty he was living in—again. "Please don't mind how old everything looks," Seth says the words without turning to face Roman. He heads in the direction of his old bedroom and points to a white oak closet, "You can place our bags there."

Roman's still observing Seth's bedroom when he gets the instruction, the brunet isn't sure why but Roman's examination only adds to his embarrassment. Maybe he should've just agreed to staying at a hotel like Roman had suggested. But he wants to see Kevin and Sami again, besides, a part of him has missed this place. His tiny apartment had been his safe haven for a very long time.

"Your bedroom, it's uh, really nice."

Seth's not sure if Roman's mocking him. There's nothing special about his bedroom—the walls are beryl colored. A few cheap paintings hang on the walls, he'd decided against having a TV in his bedroom so the only centerpiece of the room is his queen size bed that takes up majority of the space in the tiny room. There's a bedside table with a lone yellow vase that has a single rose in it, it sits beside the lamp. It's dark outside but the city lights cast a strange glow in the dark room. Seth decides to turn the lamp on, filling the room with orange light.

"Thank you," he says finally, deciding to thank Roman even though he still doesn't believe the man. "I'm going to take a quick shower before I head to Xavier's. Wanna join?"

Roman's eyebrows knit together in a frown, confusion etching his face. "You're leaving?"

"I told you in the car, remember? Dean, Xavier and I are having ourselves a guys night in."

The frown deepens, "You're leaving me here on my own? These friends of yours, you're still seeing them tomorrow. You can't leave me in this apartment alone Seth."

"I've missed them, Roman," the royal doesn't seem impressed with the response. Seth tries again, "I'll be back before midnight, I promise. I haven't talked to them much since you and I started dating. I've been preoccupied with you."

He receives a scoff in return, "Nice try."

"Please, Roman," Seth goes to stand in front of the royal, placing a hand on a hard chest.

"You're not being fair alofagia," Roman sighs, "What do I do here on my own? For three whole hours?"

"Think about me and my hot body," Seth removes Roman's glasses and carelessly drops them on the bed. He gets a warning growl from Roman to which he internally rolls his eyes. "Think about me and all the things you'll get to do to me once I get back. How you're going to hold my wrists," a seductive kiss is placed on lush lips, "And pin me to the bed," Seth's voice turns sexier, he bites on Roman's bottom lip gently, "And then grip my hair while you slide your big cock in and out of me," a deep moan slips past Roman's lips.

He brings Seth closer to him by his waist and squeezes his ass tightly to the point of being painful—Seth's still not recovered from everything that happened last night and this morning. "You're going to fuck me hard and rough and fast, Roman. You're going to fuck me and remind me who I belong to," when he moves away from sucking at Roman's neck to his lips, Seth isn't surprised by how his lips are devoured. Roman's rough in his kisses, he bites and sucks on Seth's lips. Seth releases a tiny whimper when Roman grips his hair—sharp pain shooting through him. But Seth's used to it now—he doesn't think gentle exists in Roman's vocabulary.

A sharp gasp escapes Seth, the side of his face connects with the wall. His shorts touch the floor, he closes his eyes and arches his back so that his ass sticks out. He doesn't know when Roman works him open or when he gets the lube and condom but he cries out loud when Roman fills his swollen hole. The royal doesn't give him a chance to catch his breath as he bludgeons inside him with deep, hard strokes. Even with the roughness of Roman's thrusts, Seth feels connected to him—they're one. The sensations are unbelievable as Roman slides in and out of him—pounding his prostate with brutal thrusts.

Roman lifts Seth's right leg up and thrusts deeper, the smaller man can't suppress the high pitched moan that escapes him. The royal's in so _deep_ as he claims ownership of him with every rough thrust. Roman's breathing into his neck, it sets every nerve ending in Seth's body alight. His body feels like a furnace, his aching cock rubs against the wall, torturing and relieving his sexual frustration at the same time. "F-FUCK!" he stutters. He distantly fears his neighbors hearing him but he can't help it.

"You're fucking mine, Seth!" Roman growls into his ear. He pulls Seth's hair with one hand forcing the brunet to look at him while the savage thrusts continue. "I want you to remember that. When you're with your friends, I want you to remember what we did and who you belong to."

Seth's moans increase with each word uttered into his ear, it increases his pleasure and he bites on his bottom lip, right hand going to pump his leaking cock. "Fuck, Roman please," Roman's gripped the hand that was on his shaft to pin it above his hand. Seth shivers, he has no fucking idea how the man's doing that—Roman has both his hands pinned above his head while his other hand holds his right leg up. The royal's thrusts quicken, Seth's face is shoved against the wall with each stroke.

Sweat runs down his body, the t-shirt that Roman didn't rid him off making him feel like he's being burned alive. The hand pinning his hands to the wall drops to his heavy dick, with the royal teasing his slit with his thumb. "Fuck! I-I can't…Roman, I need to come!" Seth screams. The t-shirt he has on soaks his body and the sensations of Roman pounding him like a toy that's all too breakable make it too much for him to take. He's shaking all over, eyes shut tightly while he bites on his lips so hard, he's going to draw blood any minute.

Roman's lips move to suck and bite at the back of his neck, Seth whimpers feeling far too sensitive. The moans shoot past his lips, only getting louder when Roman pumps his length—viciously. "Cum for me, Seth!" Roman growls into his ear. A tingle runs down his spine, his balls tightening at the sexy instruction. Seth tenses and mewls softly when he shoots his load on the wall. Roman squeezes his length and pumps it so hard that Seth screams, tears of ecstasy falling down his cheeks. He takes everything Roman gives him as the royal uses his body. He feels like he's going to pass out any minute but he takes it, allowing every sob to slip out of his lips with each shove against the wall.

His leg that isn't lifted into the air is on the verge of giving out, Roman is holding nothing back. He presses Seth into the wall, pounding his pliant body relentlessly. When it's too much, Seth feels his body tingle—Roman's utterly possessed him. He shudders violently and tries to hold back a sob—there's intense jolts running violently through his body with each hard pounding. "Rom—" the word dies down his throat when another violent jolt flashes through him. "P-Please," he begs brokenly. "AAAAH!" the scream that leaves him can't be stopped.

When Roman finally cums, he allows Seth's right leg to drop to the floor. He holds Seth in place and roughly pounds into him over and over again—shooting his essence deep inside Seth. One hand moves to grab a fistful of Seth's wet hair, tightening as the royal forces Seth to face him. He brings Seth's lips in for an erotic but bruising kiss. Seth languidly sucks on Roman's tongue, causing the grip on his hair to tighten sending sharp pain to his head. Seth's legs give out when Roman pulls out of him but he's lifted into the air before he can fall to the ground. They're moving, Seth's not sure where they're going—his mind's not with him at the moment—but he knows that they're moving.

He's a lot more awake when he feels hot water soak his skin. There's jazz music playing in the background and he sighs when he feels Roman get in behind him. Lips touch the back of his neck, two strong arms wrapping around his waist, "That mouth you have on you alofagia," Roman lets out a low chuckle.

"It's already getting me into trouble," Seth leans against Roman's hard chest. "My ass is throbbing from all the sex. I've got a sex hangover."

Roman's lips move away from his shoulder, Seth just knows his head's thrown back as he laughs like a little kid. He's in love with the royal's laugh and how his eyes gleam in mirth when he laughs—it's an adorable look that he doesn't get to see as much as he'd like to.

"Sex hangover, huh?" Roman asks, the laughter still there in his voice.

"Yup. You're dicknifying me so damn much and so damn hard, it was bound to happen." He squirms in the hot water and feels Roman's hardening shaft poking his back. "I don't know who that hard rod is meant for but it's not going anywhere near my ass. I'm not going to allow you to cripple me, Roman. Besides, I have to go soon. It'll be nine o'clock soon,"

"Stay," Roman whispers, kissing Seth's shoulder.

"I can't. Dean's probably on his way already."

"But I miss you."

Seth laughs, "I'm right here, Roman."

"You're mine. You're supposed to be spending your time with me."

Seth struggles to turn around to face his boyfriend, his bathtub is far smaller than the one in Roman's mansion. "It's only three hours. I'll be back before you know it." He joins their foreheads together and places a soft kiss on Roman's lips. "Surely you can do without me for three hours. You do it everyday when you're at work," Roman gives him a look he can't decipher. "Actually, scratch that. You text me ten times in thirty minutes and want voice notes of me each and every hour. You can't even survive five minutes without me."

"I can't," Roman admits. He's serious, Seth can see it in his eyes. And maybe it should annoy him how he's falling for an overgrown puppy but he can't bring himself to be. If anything, Roman admitting how he can't survive without him melts his heart.

"I'm flattered," Seth brings the royal in for another kiss. "But I don't want you following me. You'll stay in this apartment or go to the shops but you're not going anywhere with me. I mean it, Roman."

"I won't," Roman's calm demeanor tells him otherwise. But he decides to take a chance and believe his boyfriend.

"Good," Seth grabs the shower gel and gives it to Roman. "Now show me how important I am to you."

***

Xavier's seriously getting thicker. It's the first thing Seth thinks when the younger man opens the door to his and Randy's home. The second thing he notices is that the dark skinned man is seriously getting more beautiful every time he sees him. And the man's not even wearing anything extraordinary. He's dressed in an oversized hoodie Seth knows belongs to Randy and one of those black tights Seth's seen him wear when he's dancing. His lustrous black hair is drawn back by a black headband. So there's really nothing special about his appearance but Xavier's still _glowing._

"Ugh, you're getting more beautiful every time I see you. Randy's not playing with that vitamin D," Seth says. He brings Xavier in for a hug, chuckling at the smaller man's low groan.

"I can't breathe," Xavier huffs.

"Don't squeeze him so tight, Rollins." Seth rolls his eyes at Randy's cold tone. He hears Dean mumble something about Xavier dating an ass under his breath and chuckles. He gives Dean a look that says behave when he finally pulls away from Xavier. He notices that Antonio, Dean's boyfriend, is also giving the auburn-haired man the same look. It seems to be working, Toni's the only one that can keep Dean's crazy ass on a leash.

"Randy, it's been a while." He turns his attention to Randy and gives him an awkward hug.

The smile that Randy gives him weirds him out—the man _never_ smiles. He's always so cold and uncaring to anyone who isn't Xavier. "How's life as a rich and famous, Rollins?"

"I'm not rich and famous," Seth shakes his head, "But I've been good, thank you for asking."

"Where's the boyfriend? Xavier speaks so highly of him, I thought you'd bring him over."

"Dean's the same at home," Antonio pipes in. He brings Dean close to his side and kisses his lips softly, "Should we be worried about anything? Maybe the man's planning on making all of you his consorts."

"If only," Dean sighs. "But I'm stuck with your bald headed ass."

Everyone laughs at that, Dean getting a cheeky grin on his lips. "I'm being for real. Seth, if your baby daddy ever considers taking a second lover, I'm game I'll drop Toni, like that," He snaps his fingers and looks at a smug Antonio.

"Like he'll give you what I give you," Antonio smirks as Dean's cheeks redden.

"Whatever," the word is accompanied by a tongue being stuck out at Antonio. The occupants in Randy's house laugh again and Seth can see a hint of a smile on Randy's lips. It's a good thing, it means the cold hearted bastard isn't so damn serious all the time.

"You guys need to leave," Xavier looks at Randy expectantly. "There's a lot of things us friends need to catch up on."

Randy's smile is sun bright, he kisses Xavier's forehead and hugs the younger man. "Eager to get rid of me, doll?"

Xavier shakes his head and wraps his arms around the bigger man's waist, "The sooner we begin this whole thing, the sooner I can chase them out."

"Hey!" Seth and Dean says the words simultaneously.

"Joking," Xavier laughs. He turns his attention back to Randy, a warm smile stretching his lips. "I love you."

"I love you too."

Seth can't see it, but he knows Randy's smiling. He can feel Xavier and Randy's love warming up their entire house. It's intoxicating and radiates in the entire place. He can't say he's surprised when Antonio brings Dean to his side. They're talking softly but with the same love Randy and Xavier are spotting. _Great,_ he's fifth wheeling.

"Can you guys cut it out with all the fucking mushy stuff? I'm being used as a fifth wheel here," he whines. He goes to separate Dean and Antonio from each other and drags his complaining friend towards the Ortons' expensive couch. He doesn't bother trying to move Randy away from Xavier—the bigger man is intimidating and scary as fuck when he's angry. Seth's seen him being angry once when a customer at The Black Vault touched Xavier inappropriately.

"Don't forget your jacket. I'll fetch it for you," Xavier tells Randy once their passionate kissing ends. They all watch the dark skinned man disappear from view as he takes the steps that lead to their bedroom.

"So where are you guys going?" Dean asks, grabbing the remote control.

"There's a Caribbean—" the sound of the doorbell ringing cuts Antonio off. "You expecting anyone?" the Swiss man asks, looking at a frowning Randy.

"No," Randy says. He steps out of the living room, disappearing from view like his boyfriend. There's murmurs from where Randy is but not so loud that the occupants in the living room can hear who's at the door.

Randy's still not back when Xavier comes back. The dark skinned man opens his mouth and closes it, looking around. "Where's Randy?"

"At the door," Seth says.

Randy comes back a second later, face blank. "It's for you, Seth."

Dean wolf whistles, "Delivery for Seth Rollins, in the form of a hot as fuck, rich son of a bitch."

Seth smacks him upside the head, "You don't even know who's at the door." He gets up, making his way to the front door.

"He follows me like a lost puppy!" Dean shouts after him, "Those were your words, princess!"

Seth has a feeling that Dean isn't far from the truth, he's nervous as he nears the front door. If it's Roman, he isn't even sure how the man found him. The door's slightly ajar when he grips the doorknob to open it. He's met with warm brown eyes once he opens the door. Roman's standing outside, wearing maroon Nike apparel. His hair isn't tied and runs loose, resting on his shoulders perfectly. He's carrying two large plastic bags in one hand and the other carries a bottle of expensive looking wine.

"Hey," the man has the audacity to smile at him.

"I don't even want to know how you found me," Seth sighs.

"You told me, remember?" Roman still has that fucking smile painting his lips. "We're having a guys night at Xavier's—that's what you said."

Seth rolls his eyes, "And how did you know where Xavier stays? Did you follow me here?"

"No," the royal's being genuine, Seth can see it. But it only makes him wonder a bit more as to how the man found him. He won't ask though—he's not even surprised that Roman found him. He's not even surprised that the man came after him.

"Why are you here, Roman?"

Roman shakes his head, "I thought you said this thing is only for your three friends."

Seth knows where this is going, "The guy who opened the door—he's Xavier's boyfriend."

He's rewarded with a small smile and a head nod. "I, uh, came with some things. For…you and your friends,"

Seth holds back a grin, Roman looks so unsure. It's an endearing look on a man who's always so sure of himself—it's such an exotic look on him. "Really?" Seth asks softly, trying to calm the royal's nerves down.

"Yes," Roman nods his head. "I, uh," he gives Seth the wine bottle and rummages inside his Nike sweatpants, taking his phone out. "I went to the internet and typed guys night in on the search engine," Seth's helpless against the heartfelt smile on his lips. He watches Roman look at his phone while reading items off of his phone. "It said men like action movies—preferably the ones with big breasted women," a frown knits Roman's eyebrows. "I'm not sure if it's reliable but I got the movies," he hands his phone to Seth and rummages inside one of the plastic bags. "I got this," three different kinds of movies are shoved into Seth's hand. "The action one, I think your friend, Dean? Maybe he'll enjoy it."

Seth nods his head, lips hurting from how hard he's smiling. "The other one," Roman takes the movie from Seth and shows it to him. "The shop assistant said it's a romantic comedy, rom-com in short. She said your friend Xavier might enjoy it," the movie's shoved back into Seth's hand again. Roman grabs the last one, face lit up as he shows Seth the cover. "This one, I picked myself. It's a horror movie, alofagia."

Seth gives Roman a curious eyebrow, "Horror?"

"Yes," Roman smiles, "I made sure it's one of the gory ones where all the actors are making bad decisions and screaming their lungs out. Just like you love your music."

Is this man serious? Seth's eyes remain on an optimistic Roman, there's a minute of silence between them before Seth bursts into hearty laughter. He does his best not to break the items currently stuffed full in his hands as he laughs at a smiling but puzzled Roman. "Thank you so much baby," it's the thought that counts. Kissing Roman's lips is quite a mission with all the items Roman's shoved into his hands. "What else did you get?"

Roman clears his throat, "The internet said beer too," another frown—deeper this time—knits Roman's eyebrows, "I bought the beer. I don't want you getting drunk though Seth. Maybe you should have one glass of wine and allow your friends to consume the rest."

Seth nods his head but he knows he isn't going to follow the instruction—he isn't a child and he can handle his alcohol just fine, thank you very much. "There's chips and other things too," Roman continues. "You'll have a look at them inside." He grabs his phone from Seth and gives the large plastic bags to him.

"Thank you so much, baby. You're very thoughtful," Seth leans up to kiss Roman's cheek, "How are you adjusting to the apartment?"

"I miss you,"

"It's been less than an hour Roman."

Roman shakes his head, "It feels like it's been longer than that."

Seth melts at that, he places the plastic bags and wine on the ground to encircle Roman's neck with his arms. The royal's arms go around his waist, tightening, almost immediately. The kiss is passionate, connecting him to the man who owns every inch of his body—and his soul. Seth whimpers into the kiss, feeling Roman bringing him even closer to him—their bodies flush against each other. His hair tie falls to the ground when Roman's hand grips the back of his neck to feast on his lips.

His hands go to fist the front of Roman's sweater, tightening on the maroon item. Delicious shivers run down his spine. They pull back—breathing ragged and coming out in short breaths. Their locked stare reveals how badly they want each other—it reveals the intensity of their connection, of their feelings. Seth moans, Roman's hand is griping his hair—the royal looking him up and down—his gaze full of unadulterated hunger. The penetrating stare has Seth biting his lips in anticipation.

Roman's turning him around and slamming his hard erection into his clothed ass, his breathing hot in Seth's ear. Seth arches his back, panting harshly. Roman's hands roam the front of his body, going beneath his t-shirt to pull and rub on Seth's nipples. A guttural moan leaves Seth, his head going to rest on Roman's shoulder. He distantly hears laughs coming from inside Randy's house and tries to pull away from Roman, two large hands firmly hold him in place. "Roman we can't," he pants. He only receives a low growl in response—thick lips going to feast on his neck harshly.

"You need to leave," Seth's breathless voice pleads. His hands move to remove Roman's bigger ones from around his waist and he pulls away completely. When they look into each other's eyes—the piercing stare Roman gives him causes Seth's breath to hitch inside his throat. His hands are shaky as they retrieve the items Roman got from the ground.

"I'll pick you up at 11:30."

Seth's eyebrow arches in disbelief, "I told you the whole thing's ending at midnight."

Roman's already standing in front of the black Bentley they drove here. He pauses at the door, looking at Seth briefly. "I'll see you at 11:30, Seth." He gets in the car without another word. The royal bastard drives off before Seth can respond. Seth shakes his head, he's not going to leave Xavier's house until the clock hits twelve. The bastard will just have to wait thirty minutes for him.

It's 10:30 PM and Seth finds himself tipsy, on his second glass of wine. Xavier's declined any alcohol, which Seth still finds suspicious, and has left all the alcohol to Dean and him. Seth has a fleeting suspicion that he knows what's wrong with him. All Xavier has been doing is stuffing his face full with food, he's been getting emotional at the rom-com that he insisted on watching as well. Dean and him have been sharing suspicious glances but they both won't say anything. Not until Xavier decides to share—that's if there's anything to share.

"Have some more booze," Dean shoves another glass of wine in his face. Seth giggles and accepts the glass. This is maybe his fourth glass of wine? Seth isn't sure but he sips down the red liquid—moaning as the goodness slides down his throat. "Alright, so where were we?" Dean asks, allowing Seth to rest his head on his shoulder, "Right…sizes. What's Roman's dick size?"

Seth sighs around the glass touching his lips, "11," he giggles loudly.

Dean moves the right side of his body away from Seth causing the brunet to spill his alcohol on the couch. "Dean! Watch the fucking couch!" Xavier shouts, eyes blurry with unshed tears.

"Geez! I'm sorry, alright?" He grabs Seth's wine glass, placing it on the mahogany table in front of him. "11? Fuck he's huge…how are you taking all of that?!"

Seth giggles again, moving to rest his head on Dean's shoulder again. He thinks about Roman's dick, how the man fucked him against his bedroom wall today. The giggles start again—loud and uncontained. "He fucked me against the wall before I left," the words spill out of his mouth. His mind's clouded, the alcohol not giving him any filter, "He said he wanted me to remember what we did. My ass still h-hurts," Seth lets out small cry. It lasts for a second before the giggling starts again, "He likes it when I beg for mercy. He told me I'll never walk straight again."

"He's a kinky motherfucker," Dean grins. "I like him."

"He's taken," Xavier finally joins in on the conversation. "Remember that," the dark skinned man's mouth is stuffed full of his favorite Blue Bunny ice-cream.

"We'll share him," Dean waves Xavier off, sticking his tongue out at the younger man. "How does he fit inside you, Seth?"

"Because we're made for each. My body's made for him—the perfect fit." Seth sighs dreamily. Dean takes his glass away from him when the brunet grabs for it on the table. "I love him,"

"Whoa," Dean and Xavier say at the same time.

"You weren't meant to fall in love with him, Seth. I told you to get the dick," it's Dean who says the words.

"I love him," Seth repeats, giggling even louder. "I love him and I want him. Bring him to me."

"It's 11:00, you'll see him in an hour." Dean laughs.

No. That's too long. It's too long for Seth's hazy mind—he needs his boyfriend now. He can't wait any longer. He needs to feel Roman's strong arms wrap around him. He needs to be invaded by the man's exotic scent and bask in his powerful aura. His eyes tear up, salty liquid welling up in his eyes. He grabs Dean's shoulder and shakes the man. "Take me to him," he whispers.

"I don't have his number, princess." Dean strokes Seth's back, giving Xavier a puzzled look.

Seth starts crying—tiny cries, with his face hidden in Dean's shoulder. "I-I want Roman, Dean. Take me to him."

His cries deepen, his friends aren't obeying his instruction. Why aren't they listening to him? Seth gets up, his legs feel funny and they wobble. He doesn't make it past two steps before he falls to the ground. "Shit! He's totally wasted!" Dean exclaims. The dimpled man goes to lift a crying Seth off the ground and carries him back to the couch. "Where's his phone? He won't stop being a crybaby if we don't get the gorgeous bastard."

Xavier gets up and helps Dean look for Seth's phone, "This your fault you know," the dark skinned man grumbles, "How could you let him drink a whole bottle of wine on his own? And the expensive kind to make matters worse!"

"Oh come on," Dean sighs. He moves his hands to the back of Seth's pockets, still looking for his phone, "I just wanted him to spill more juicy details."

"I don't know why we're friends with you," Xavier gives Dean an eye roll.

"Because both of you know how boring your lives would be without me."

"Keep telling yourself that," Xavier huffs. He looks beneath the couch he was sitting on. "Found it! How did it even get there?"

"Beats me," Dean chuckles. He hushes Seth down, taking the phone from Xavier. "I'll call him."

"Only because you want to hear his voice, you're such a slut sometimes."

Dean laughs, shrugging, "Before Toni, that was my middle name."

The phone rings once before it's answered, "Alofagia? Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, uh, it's Dean." There's embarrassment in Dean's voice.

"Where is Seth?" the tone that sounded worried a second ago suddenly turns cold.

"He's here," Dean answers. "He's drunk, haha. Uh, he wants you to fetch him."

"I'm coming," the call is ended.

Dean stares at the phone for a while, "Well, isn't he lovely?"

The door rings five minutes later, Xavier and Dean look at each other. "That can't be him," Xavier says, heading towards the front door, "It should take him at least twenty minutes to get here."

"Where is he?" Dean sighs, guess they thought wrong. He watches Roman's eyebrows knit in what he thinks is distaste as the royal makes his way to a half asleep Seth. "Alofagia?"

Seth wraps his arms around a crouched Roman's neck. "Romieee!" The brunet crushes Roman's face, bringing him in for a kiss. "They wanted to steal me away from you," Seth hugs Roman tighter.

"He's drunk," Roman looks back to Seth's friends with a frown. Both men look away causing Roman to release a sigh as Seth clings to him, kissing every part of Roman he can get to. "I'll take him to the apartment. Where is his phone?"

"There you go," Dean gives the phone to Roman. "We'll see you guys, um, tomorrow?" He asks unsurely, rubbing his heated neck.

Roman is still frowning and he's hesitant when he nods his head, "Have a good night Dean, please tell your friend the same." He carries Seth outside the house. The brunet's as clingy as ever, kissing down Roman's neck before cuddling into his chest and giggling loudly to himself.

"Why's your smile upside down?" Seth lifts his right hand to straighten Roman's lips. The royal raises an eyebrow, looking down at the brunet in his arms, "You're so cuuute—" a burp leaves Seth's mouth, he scrunches his face up in disgust, "They should shape your left eyebrow like that, you raise it a lot." Seth laughs like the whole thing's funny to him—and it is. "Staaay," he begs Roman. The royal's somehow managed to open his car and place a drunk Seth inside the car. He's attempting to buckle Seth in but it's proving hard with how much Seth is clinging to him and kissing his face all over. "Stay and fuck me, Roman. This morning you wanted to enter my turd cutter, remember?" another round of giggles fill the car. Seth's laughing his ass off, everything is so funny to him.

"I told you not to drink, alofagia." Roman says in the calmest of voices, driving back to Seth's apartment.

"There you go again," Seth slurs, "Telling me what to do. 'S okay though. I love you just the way you are." The brunet sings the last part. It's a song he was listening to earlier with Roman but he just doesn't remember the name. "But I fucking hate you sometimes. You…uh," Seth struggles to get the words out. He can feel his eyelids get heavy with sleep but there's a buzzing in his body that's making it hard to sleep. "You—you're mean and you don't want me to ask you anything."

Roman's laugh barely reaches his ears, Seth's in his own world. A world where he can spill everything and say anything, "You lied to me too. You never told me about Tyler," he sighs and rests his head against the window. "He isn't going to come back and steal you from me, right? If you promise not to leave me I'll give you babies. Masina s-said she wants a s-soccer t-team," another burp. "I won't allow Tyler to steal you—"

_"Seth,"_ the word is gritted out. Roman's hands are tightening on the steering wheel.

Seth doesn't hear the royal's warning tone. He continues in a slurred voice, "They never gave you any babies, Roman. I'll give you lots and lots— aaah!" pain shoots through Seth cutting off his speech. For a second he doesn't know where it's coming from. The car's stopped moving but Seth's still drunk—his mind barely registers anything besides the pain coming from his head. He can't move, Roman has his hair gripped in an iron tight hold. The hold on his hair isn't one meant to bring him pleasure, Seth can tell. The pain makes it hard for him to breathe—he's slowly coming out of his drunken stupor. He looks at Roman—body shaking from how angered the man looks.

Roman's eyes are enraged, Seth's eyes go to the hand that isn't gripping his hair. It's clenched into a tight fist and Seth finds himself fearing what Roman might do. He doesn't recognize this man staring back at him. There's no warmth in his Roman's eyes—the brown orbs burn with anger but they're cold too—so cold that they cause Seth's heart to tremble. And they swim with so many other emotions Seth can't make out.

"I want you to fucking listen to me," Roman starts, voice dangerously low, "I don't want to ever hear that name leave your lips again! This—This was the first and the last time _his_ name left your lips. Are we clear?!"

Seth tries to nod his head but he can't—Roman has his hair bound, preventing him from moving his head even the slightest bit. "Yes," he cries out. There's unshed tears swimming in Roman's pools when he finally lets Seth go with a rough shove. Seth unbuckles his seatbelt and jumps to the backseat. The alcohol's long left his system and he's trying so hard to keep his emotions from spilling out.

His whole body is shaking as Seth lifts his left leg up to rest on the car seat, his head going to rest on it. His hair falls around him like a protective cloak, protecting him from the world and everything that can hurt him—and Roman. Silent tears race down his cheeks, he can distantly hear Roman's low cries. He wants to go comfort the man—desperately. He doesn't though. He's hurt too—by a man he's very much in love with. He desperately wants to, but his fucking heart can't bring itself to regret ever meeting Roman. And so he wishes instead. Seth wishes he'd turned down Roman's offer and left Miami. He should've stayed here--in Tampa. He should've never gone to that park. Maybe then he would've been spared the pain of falling in love with a windstorm. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya :).  
> OK, so I need to warn you that this is like hella angsty. I don't normally shed a tear when I write angst buuut I could've, maybe *cough cough* shed a lone tear. Secondly, suicide is mentioned briefly but I just thought I should mention that. And lastly this is very long, it's the longest chapter I've written so far. 10 000 words of angst, sorry for that. And I repeat, this is angsty, you've been warned. Thank you for reading.

The city is alive and bursting with vibrant energy outside when Seth stirs beneath the covers. The brunet groans and his eyes close tightly, the light in the room is enough to blind him. He decides to try again after a while and opens his eyes, blinking his eyelids rapidly to adjust to the light shining through the windows. Sitting up the bed, the brunet leans against the headboard while rubbing his temples, a groan emitting from his lips from the pounding headache he has. It's the beryl walls that remind him that he isn't in Miami—that he isn't in his room.

And just like that, the memories of everything that happened last night flash right in eyes. Everything from when they'd left Miami to when Ro—

_No. Don't say his name._

A pained groan slips past Seth's lips, it isn't just from his pounding headache but from the hurtful memories of what happened in the car as well. Seth's trying to chase them away—he doesn't want to think about _him_. It's proving a mission because the pictures keep flashing right in front of him and it isn't helping his case how his heart suddenly drops to his stomach only to clench painfully. "Don't," he whispers to himself, there are tears fighting to push out of his eyelids. Seth squeezes his eyes shut and bites on his lips. He isn't going to cry—not over _him_. He's done that enough. Never again.

There's a glass of water and pain medication when Seth averts his gaze to the bedside table on the left side of the bed. He grabs the glass, feeling parched and chugs the water down his throat. He cringes at the taste, the water's clearly been sitting there for a while, it's warm and nearing on becoming hot. He returns the glass on the table when he notices a piece of paper on the table. Seth opens it with shaky hands, his eyes scanning the white item.

_Take two pills with the glass of water._

The paper is crushed after Seth reads the message the asshole left him. He aims for his built-in closet as he throws the piece of paper, it doesn't get far though and falls at the foot of his bed. The fucking bastard is giving him instructions again. And where the fuck is he anyway?

Seth leaves the lumpy bed, deciding to get started on his day. That makes him chuckle bitterly—he isn't even sure what he's supposed to do now. It's just after 10:00 and he'd made plans with the royal bastard. They're supposed to be going to Busch Gardens Tampa Bay. Seth loves animals and he'd been looking forward to sharing his love for them with the royal. The large zoo he wanted them to visit has feature shows, rollercoasters and they would've done a bit of shopping in the area as well. But his asshole of a boyfriend decided to ruin all their plans. He's yet again ruining everything they've been building together.

After he's made the bed, Seth removes his ruffled clothing off of his body. He hadn't bothered changing out of his clothes last night, he hadn't had the energy to. Making his way out of his bedroom, the brunet is silent in his footsteps as he makes his way into his bathroom. The door to it is closed and he hesitates for a millisecond. What if Roman's inside the bathroom? Seth closes his eyes and leans against the door, he's not ready. He's not ready to see the other man now. He doesn't even know what he'll say to him.

It's probably five minutes later that he gains enough courage to open the door, only slightly though, so that he can peek through it. A lone brown orb darts around the bathroom, a breath he didn't know he was holding leaving him when he's met with silence and an empty bathroom. The door opens wider, Seth closing it after him. His head is still throbbing when he gets into the shower to wash his body. Alone in his thoughts, the brunet tries so hard not to think about Roman even as the questions run haphazardly inside his mind.

The shower doesn't help rid him of the exhaustion he feels, both physically and emotionally.

Once back in his bedroom, Seth opens one of the luggage bags they brought to see if it's his—the bags are identical and he's grateful when he finds his clothes in the first one he opens. He retrieves a pair of black shorts and a grey tank top, getting fresh underwear as well. He's clothed and feeling somewhat lighter by 11:30. Head still throbbing, the brunet decides to leave his hair untied and makes his way out of his bedroom.

Roman isn't here.

Seth doesn't know whether he should be relieved or saddened by that. But he enters a painfully empty living room—the silence enough to bring him back into his former depressed state. Seth sits on one of his old couches for a while, staring into nothing. He can hear the energetic sounds of a city alive with excitement—there's too many voices speaking at once and Caribbean music penetrates the air. The sounds are intoxicating and they draw Seth in.

His feet carry him to his balcony and he opens the door slightly, breathing in the warm but breezy air. A small smile tugs at his lips when he averts his gaze to the right, eyes connecting with his neighbor, Tommy. The long-haired blond man is in his early twenties and leaves with his girlfriend, he's kind enough to talk to but Seth isn't that used to him, the man's been staying in their flat for about four months now.

"Seth, it's really great to see you. We haven't seen you around here in a while," the blond shouts over the sounds of traffic and noise.

"I moved but it feels really good to be back here,"

"Yeah, Sami told us. How've you been though? Everything alright?" Seth watches the man light a cigarette and for a second he craves it, to take away the nerves and restlessness in his body. He hasn't smoked in a while, he thinks it's been over five months.

 _No_ , Seth's mind says immediately but he offers the younger man a fake grin, nodding his head frantically, "Everything's really great, Tommy. New surroundings, new people. It's all going great," the words hurt to utter because everything has been going great until Roman… Seth sighs and attempts yet again to drive thoughts about him away, "Where's Lexi?" he asks. She's Tommy's wild, adrenaline junkie girlfriend.

"Visiting the parents, they don't exactly like me so…" the blond trails off, his right shoulder lifting and falling in a careless shrug.

Seth laughs and nods his head in understanding. More light talk continues between them, Tommy asking questions about Roman that Seth tries his best to evade—he just can't seem to catch a break from everything about that man. Tommy gives up after a while when he realizes Seth isn't keen on sharing. He leaves Seth alone, claiming he has to be at work in thirty minutes and he's already late. The brunet mindlessly stares at the chaos going on in the streets, his head resting on his bent arm.

Roman's still not back when he goes back into the living room. Seth decides that he doesn't care, he's hungry and there isn't any food inside his apartment. There's a small café two blocks away from here, and even though it's noon, he's sure he can convince the cook to make him a light breakfast. In his bedroom, the brunet grabs his wallet, he finds it inside his pants pockets from the shorts he was wearing last night. He doesn't find his phone there, however, and goes to check on the bedside table—it's not there either.

Seth looks for the flashy gadget for another ten minutes before he finally gives up. He can't find the damn thing anywhere and briefly remembers Roman wanting his phone from Dean. A sigh leaves him, maybe the royal has it with him. He gets an uneasy feeling when he can't find his house keys either. He has a fleeting suspicion that Roman took them but it wouldn't make sense for the royal to do that so he rids himself of the thought. "No," he whispers. The panic sets in, strong and fast when he attempts to open the door and it won't open—he's locked inside. Seth tries to open the door again, disbelief sluicing through him.

"No, no, no! Roman, you can't do this to me! Open the damn door!" He screams. He keeps trying to open the door even though he knows it won't open. _Bang_ _the_ _door_ , his mind tells him and he's about to try that idea. He really is. But he stops himself because if he bangs on the door, Sami will have to come and inspect what's wrong. He's not about to embarrass himself like that—he'd have to explain to Sami how his asshole of a boyfriend locked him inside his own apartment and took his phone with him.

About fifteen minutes later, Seth finally decides to give up and walks on shaky legs, collapsing on his couch. Reality sets in—he's been locked inside his apartment. Fucking Roman took his phone and his keys and locked him inside his _own_ apartment. And the worst part is he doesn't even know how long the bastard's been gone. He doesn't know how long Roman will _stay_ gone.

His left leg goes to rest on the couch, head resting on it. _Take_ _deep_ _breaths_ , _Seth_. The brunet tells himself even though the whole thing is proving quite difficult. He's panicking and his emotions are barely contained. He's feeling a lot of things at himself, at Roman, and he doesn't want to address a lot of them besides the anger, the disappointment and the hurt. He's angry at himself for allowing Roman to do this to him, but he's angry at Roman too. For last night, for the broken promises and for making Seth feel so helpless and so…weak. The disappointment is at himself for allowing Roman to get away with hurting him—again.

The disappointment at his boyfriend is there too—just _two days ago_ the man was apologizing to him for the hurt the royal repeatedly causes him. Seth's not even going to get started on the hurt, he's beginning to think Roman gets off of hurting him.

He's back.

Roman's back. Seth isn't sure how long it's been but he assumes that an hour has passed that he's been sitting in the living room. The front door opens and Seth feels his blood boil with each passing second. He can hear Roman's silent footsteps, the man's in the kitchen. Seth isn't sure what he's doing there, he doesn't care. His heart thuds and his hands shake, injured foot bouncing up and down impatiently. The footsteps get closer to the living room…..

"YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!" Seth lunges towards Roman immediately he comes into view. His fists connect with the bigger man's chest. Seth is angry, he's hurt, he's sad, he's disappointed, he's frustrated, there's confusion, there's wretchedness. Every emotion is trickling out bit by bit and he has no idea what to do except maybe hurt Roman. Hurt the man like he always seems to hurt him, without the slightest hesitation.

"WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME HERE? ALL ALONE, ROMAN! YOU LOCKED ME INSIDE MY FUCKING APARTMENT AND LEFT ME! W-WHY?" the words come out accompanied by fists aimed towards the Lanuolan. Roman lifts his hands in a surrendering gesture before he blocks a fist that would've gone straight to his cheek. Seth is undeterred though and keeps kicking and screaming, thoughts about embarrassing himself all forgotten. "I FUCKING HATE YOU! I WISH I'D NEVER MET YOU!" his heart's cracking with every screamed word. The tears that he swore he wouldn't ever shed again for the royal are streaming down his face.

"Please, calm down alofagia," Roman steps away from him. It only makes Seth angrier, the nerve of this fucking asshole!

"DON'T FUCKING CALLING ME THAT!" Seth screams. He's hyperventilating and he's angry. So angry—at Roman and what the man puts him through. His hand connects with Roman's cheek when he's an inch apart from the royal. Roman doesn't do anything, he doesn't say anything. He looks at Seth, exterior the epitome of calm despite his ruffled Nike tracksuit, courtesy of Seth's hands. His hair that had been tied into a man bun has slipped out of his hair tie.

The fight is draining right out of Seth's body with each second he spends looking at an all too calm Lanuolan. "Why are you doing this to me, Roman? You said I'm y-your world, remember? You said I-I was important to you! You lied to me!" his voice is raising again and Seth doesn't want it to. He's still looking at Roman through blurry eyes, the bastard still has that blank exterior in place. "M-Maybe we should c-cut t—"

Roman kisses him. The royal brings him closer by his waist and invades his mouth. Seth struggles against him and attempts to push the bigger man away. Roman holds him tighter, begging and coaxing Seth to let him in. And Seth, he's trying really hard to push the royal away, he's trying hard to fight the way his whole body reacts to the bigger man's touch. He's trying hard to reject this man who's touch alone sets his soul on fire.

He fails.

The hands that were attempting to push Roman away just a second ago, go to fold around Roman's neck, pulling Roman even closer so that they're flush against each other. There's a war raging within him as Roman picks him up, lips still on his. He shouldn't be allowing Roman to hold him like this. He shouldn't be allowing the royal to any part of him. The man didn't even apologize for his actions. But Seth _needs_ this. He _craves_ Roman with everything that is in him.

And so Seth allows it when Roman lays him on the bed gently. He doesn't try to stop the Lanuolan royal when his clothes are taken off of his body. He opens his legs instead, allowing the royal to work him open. Roman is slow and gentle as he works his body, kissing each and every inch of his body—worshipping him. Seth's eyes close, teeth nibbling on his bottoms lip. Roman's nudging his cock against Seth's hole, he teases the brunet's warm cavern. Emotional doe eyes meet unreadable brown orbs, Roman seeking permission from him.

Seth isn't looking at Roman when he nods his head, giving permission. The bland walls of his bedroom disappear from view, Roman's entering his body. He's sore and it hurts and he suppresses a cry when the head gets in. Roman's cursing and groaning above him, releasing words like "So tight" and "You feel out of this world, Seth". Seth opens his eyes to look at him, the royal has his eyes squeezed shut, arms resting on either side of Seth's shoulders. Roman slides in deeper, hot and heavy, making Seth take all of him.

He doesn't know if he'd been expecting the man to be gentle when Roman finally starts moving inside him but it's not what he gets. Roman's rough in the way he fucks him, like he always is. There's a pillow resting under his back for added elevation and deeper thrusting. Seth's legs are placed on Roman's shoulders as the royal shoves in and out of him, stuffing him full while pressing into Seth's scorching heat. Seth's voice cracks in barely contained arousal as he arches into the body pinning him to the bed.

Roman's jaw is clenched tightly, forehead pressed together with Seth's. The brunet's blunt nails rake down Roman's back with each press into the bed. He arches into Roman and welcomes him, moaning and gasping into his lips when the royal nails his pleasure button. His orgasm hits him before he knows it with Seth arching into Roman, a gasp tearing out of his lips, "Ahh…" everything inside his body tenses, his stomach clenching. White essence shoots out of his purple dick and his hole clenches around the royal's length.

Roman fucks him through his orgasm, lustful growls and grunts emitting his lips with every stroke. Seth distantly hears Roman's, "Fuck, you're so gorgeous Seth," it's whispered in awe. He hates the way it tugs at his heartstrings. Hates how the man's words are slowly lowering his defenses. Roman's nudging his pleasure button insistently while stroking his length in hard, fast strokes. The royal's dragged him to the edge of the bed, legs spread wide while he stuffs Seth full of his cock and pounds into his limp body. Roman's thrusts quicken, almost as if the man's in a marathon, the man's going faster and harder and rougher. Seth whimpers and clasps the bedsheets, arching his back while trembling from the pleasure the royal's giving him.

Tingles flood every inch of his body, running through his veins. The connection—it's right there, burning brighter and hotter than ever. Seth heart stutters, he shuts his eyes closed when Roman looks at him with a burning intensity. He doesn't want to be tricked by this man fucking him senseless. He doesn't want to be tricked into thinking that he cares. He clasps the bedsheets tighter and holds on for dear life. He's not about to fall off this lumpy bed, naked and wet.

"I got you, Seth." The royal's words are grunted harshly, and Seth distantly hears them over the sound of skin slapping against skin. He opens his eyes just in time to hear Roman repeat, "I got you," the words still come out harshly and breathless. But the tenderness Seth finds in Roman's eyes makes his eyes water. It feels like there's a deeper meaning to the royal's words. The man keeps fucking him, bruising the smaller man's waist while he grunts out, "I got you," with each thrust and press into tight heat.

It's too much for Seth's fragile heart to take, "S-Stop saying that!" he snaps, out of breath, eyes wet with sweat and tears. He's not going to allow Roman to mess with his head. He's already giving his body to the man, knowing very well what a bad idea it is. Seth's breath hitches, he can feel his second orgasm slithering deliciously down his spine. Everything falls away, his eyes closing tightly while his stomach clenches and his body tenses, toes curling hard together. "Fuck, Roman!" he's helpless against screaming the royal's name. His orgasm tears through him, leaving him defenseless, bare and vulnerable. Seth doesn't dare open his eyes, he clings to Roman when the man picks him up. They're not leaving the bed but it feels like the royal's shifting them higher up the bed.

A hoarse cry tears out of his lips, Roman continues fucking into him. The royal's stroking his spent cock while pressing his hard shaft into Seth's oversensitive body. Seth sobs with each stroke and thrust. He's too sensitive and everything feels so intense and so charged, it leaves him breathless. He clenches around the cock filling him, it causes Roman to growl out.

Roman's being gentle this time.

The pace drives Seth _delirious_ with unimaginable pleasure. He's in pure bliss, legs folded around Roman's waist as the royal takes him slow and gentle—driving his cock into wet velvety heat. The man has his hands around Seth's waist so that they're flush against each other, pressed so tightly together that Seth can hear the unsteady rhythm of Roman's heartbeat. Seth's wet all over, his isn't in this world and his mind's unfocused but he somehow manages to hear Roman's, "Say it," it's commanded gently, right into his ear.

Seth panics, he knows what the man wants him to say. His eyes are still squeezed shut, arms folded around Roman's neck—clinging. His heart's on the verge of exploding. "N-No," he stutters, finding it hard to utter any word with how sweet the man's fucking into him. He refuses to think of it as love making, Roman's proving to him everyday how he's incapable of loving him. _You don't hurt the ones you love._

"Say it Seth," the royal commands again, with the same soft tone from before. His thrusts are still gentle, he works Seth's body and the smaller man swears he can't even feel his lower body anymore. He just lays on the bed and allows Roman to move in and out of him passionately slow. "Say it, baby. Please say it," the tone's begging now. It's breathless and it's begging, breathing so close into Seth's ear it sends charged shivers down his spine. He can feel Roman's lips touching his earlobe.

"No," Seth repeats. He arches into Roman, mouth opened in silent screams and cracked moans, his prostate is being overstimulated as Roman's hard cock pegs on it causing electrical jolts to flash through Seth's body. His eyes open, vision blanking out and then coming back again with every nudge to that spot inside him. Roman's pleading is slowly getting to him—his mouth opens only to close again. He'd said the words last night and he got hurt even if he'd uttered them while drunk, he'd still said them and he'd got burnt in the end. No. He's not going to say them.

"Tell me, Seth."

 _Don't say it._ It's a mantra he repeats over and over again in his head, "I-I love you," the words shoot past his lips without permission.

The response seems to satisfy Roman, he says nothing else and picks up his pace a little. Seth's heart cracks with each passing minute. He feels disappointed in himself—again. This man above him using his body doesn't feel the same for him. All he wants to do is take and take until Seth is left with nothing, "Get off me! I want you out of me!" Seth claws at Roman's chest, attempting to push the other man away. His vision is blurry again but he can see Roman's confusion as he looks down at him. It makes Seth angrier, why is the bastard confused? Can't he see how he's hurting him?

Seth trashes on the bed, struggling to get away from Roman. He's falling apart, his breathing has quickened and guttural cries fall of his lips. He just wants to _get away._ "Roman please! Get off me, you're hurting me!" He screams through teary eyes. And it breaks him how immediately Roman scurries to get out of him, he misses the royal being inside him. He wants to scream at Roman for obeying him. He wants to scream at Roman for making him this way. "Why did you do this to me?! I-I hate you!" Seth screams pushing Roman away from him. He's responsible for this, Roman's responsible for everything that's happening.

He falls off the bed, he still can't feel his legs. Roman's arms wrap around him and Seth freaks out, crawling away from him. He finds his clothes neatly placed on the chair across the bed and puts them on with shaky hands. He's still finding it to breathe and he's crying hysterically, his whole body smells like sex and his cum smears a bit of his chest and his midsection. "Don't come near me!" the words are screamed at a royal who's footsteps resemble someone who approaches an animal ready to attack. Roman's still naked and his hands are lifted in a surrendering gesture.

"I just want to help you, alofagia."

Seth shakes his head frantically, he doesn't want the bastard to help him. He's already dressed in his shorts and limping his way into the closet to get a fresh t-shirt. He opens the first luggage bag he sees and retrieves a black t-shirt. It's huge and goes below his thighs, the royal son of a bitch's scent invading him. It brings him the comfort he craves but repulses him at the same time. He slides on a black Nike sneaker on his left foot and feels around the shorts he's wearing. His wallet is still there. He rushes to the bathroom and rinses his face, using the hair tie on his wrist to tie his messy brown mane.

He's at the front door when he hears Roman's voice, "Where are you going Seth?" it sounds so soft.

If he's being honest, Seth isn't sure. All he knows is that he needs to get away from Roman. The man's breaking him down and taking everything from him. He needs to be away from him. Seth turns to face the royal, the man's now wearing a pair of indigo boxers with nothing else. He's looking at Seth with a look the brunet can't quite decipher. "What does it matter?! You'll fucking find me anyway!" he opens the door, heart beating fast and fear drowning him when Roman's arms settle on his waist, preventing him from leaving.

Mrs. Frank's door opens, the old lady steps out of her apartment. She doesn't spot them for a second, her eyes on her opened purse. But her eyes cut daggers at Seth when she finally spots him, Seth would glare just as meanly but his heart's beating so hard and breaking into a million pieces at the same time. Her eyes travel upwards until they meet Roman's eyes. They widen but she recovers quickly, smiling at him, "Seth, why didn't you tell me you were coming with this fine young man? I would've baked him my famous chocolate brownies! I'm going down the store to buy a few items. When are you leaving I can make them when I come back."

Seth can't respond to the old bitch. Yes, she's a bitch—fake as hell. Roman's hands are still on his waist, gripping him in an iron hold so that he can't move. "Tomorrow. It was nice meeting you, mam." It's Roman who says the words. Seth can hear the smile in the asshole's voice. The woman's eyes light up, clearly feeling important. She bids them goodbye and makes her way further down the hallway towards the lifts.

"Please let me go," Seth whispers once the old woman is out of sight.

Roman presses his hard body into him, his arms encircling Seth's waist. His heart's still on the verge of erupting but Seth remains still as the man breathes him in. "I'll never let you go, Seth," Roman whispers with conviction into his ear. There's a small kiss placed at the back of his neck before the royal's arms disappear from around him completely. The door to his apartment closes and Seth sighs, resting against it briefly before deciding to leave, no destination in mind.

* * *

 

It's 09:27 PM, and Roman finds himself at a place too crowded and too loud for his liking. The music that blasts the speakers is tacky but all these people crowding the dancefloor seem to think differently. They grind and move against each other, colored lights flickering past their features. He's on his first glass of whisky and third beverage for the night. He watches Seth and another man with red short cropped hair dance freely, the man's hands unashamedly roaming what's his.

Seth had been right about him finding the smaller man. It's never hard to track Seth down, he has so many resources available at the palm of his hands. But what Seth never gets is that he's only looking out for both of them. Granted, it's for his own peace of mind than it is for Seth because he can't go through what he went through with Tyler again. So today he'd spent his entire day watching Seth from a distance to ensure that everything was okay with him. He'd followed Seth and parked his car a block away from Xavier's house while Seth spent close to two hours there. And then he'd followed Seth to Lakefield park—the place they first met.

And now he finds himself in this club, he's been here for an hour. Watching from a distance in a dark corner of the club while Seth drowns himself in alcohol. He doesn't know how many shots the smaller man has downed since he entered the club. But he's getting used to the brunet's routine now—dance for five to ten minutes with random men then go back to the bar area. He'll be lying if he says the sight playing in front of him doesn't anger him because it does, deeply. But Roman knows he has no right to feel that way—he's responsible for everything that's happening at the moment. Everything from how he'd reacted last night to this morning when he took Seth's key and left him inside the apartment without saying where he was going.

Four. He'd left at four in the morning, taking Seth's keys out of an irrational fear that the man might try to leave him because of last night. He'd ended up at an empty park where he found a hobo alone at one of the benches. The rest of his time was spent talking to the homeless man at a twenty-four diner not too far from where Seth lives. He'd talked and cried and spilled and babbled about almost everything that's been going on in his life since he's met Seth. And then he'd drove around, a tactic he was using to avoid seeing Seth and the confrontation he knew was coming.

If he's being honest, Roman would've stayed away a bit longer from Seth. Maybe take one or two days away from the smaller man. Hell, if he could, he'd probably have taken a week away from him. Like he did with Nikki that one time…but he couldn't. Because he's drawn to Seth—the smaller man's managed to touch his soul—so much so that Roman wouldn't know what to do without him. In the few hours that he was away from Seth he'd missed him, it happens every time. He _can't_ be without Seth which is why after the hours spent running away he'd decided to go back to that apartment.

And then Seth had launched himself at him….

Roman doesn't blame him, he knows how badly he's failing in the boyfriend department. He knows how badly his actions hurt Seth. He knows that he isn't trying hard enough. He doesn't deserve a man like Seth. He doesn't deserve the man's love. Roman groans, drinking the whisky in his hand in one go—Seth loves him. Even though he shouldn't, the brunet still loves him. Roman feels the same way. He thinks he does. But he's hurting the man—he isn't sure how to love him. After Tyler he wasn't ever sure how to really love again. He doesn't think he's courageous enough to love that way again. But he can't lose Seth, he still wants the smaller man with everything in him…..

A heavy sigh leaves him, one hand rubbing his face tiredly. Roman's never been this confused and emotionally unstable in a very long time. The one thing he's sure of is that he wants Seth—it's the only thing he's sure of. The rest…it will work itself out. He just needs to try harder and show Seth why he's worthy.

He looks at the dancefloor, looking for Seth's lean but muscled body—the brunet isn't there. He checks his watch noticing that ten minutes have passed which means Seth's gone back to the bar area. His eyes scan the place, settling on his black t-shirt that is floating off Seth's body. The red-haired man he was dancing with is at the bar area with him, the son of a bitch has an arm around Seth. Roman's eyes narrow in on the interaction. Seth has his head on the man's shoulder and he's shaking. He looks like he's…crying.

Roman's on his feet before he can change his mind. He nears the bar area, the man now has an arm on Seth's waist, hugging him close. Tiny hiccups leave a clearly drunk Seth, he's clinging to red-haired man. The man averts his blue eyes to him, looking confused, "Can I help you man?"

"He's crying. Why?" Roman's eyes connect with a drunk Seth's unfocused brown orbs. He raises an eyebrow and the brunet's brown pools widen.

"It's none of your business," Roman looks the man up and down. The man's probably an inch shorter than him and wears a leather jacket and tightfitting light wash jeans. The man has his eyes narrowed at him in a way that says 'Touch him and I'll whoop your ass!'

Roman decides the man isn't worth his time. All he wants is the brunet still clinging to him with unfocused eyes. His expression softens and he tries for a gentle smile that he hopes tells Seth to trust him. "Alofagia," he begins softly. "Come here."

Seth's arms disappear from the red-haired man's neck but he remains standing besides the man. "Do you know this man, pretty boy?"

Roman sighs. What is it with everyone and calling his boyfriend, pretty boy? "O mai iinei, alofagia." He beckons Seth to come to him with two fingers.

The brunet is hesitant in his footsteps when he wobbles towards him. They look into each other's eyes when Seth stands right in front of him. Roman's right hand goes to the back of Seth's neck, gripping gently. Soft lips touch a sweaty forehead and he feels Seth shake. "Why did you leave me Roman?" the brunet slurs, arms around Roman's waist.

"Roman? So this is the fucking prick who locked you inside your house pretty boy? This is the jerk who hurt you?!" red-haired dude's voice raises slightly above the loud music.

Roman nails him with a hard look, his eyebrow arched in distaste. "We're leaving Seth," he tells the brunet holding onto his waist.

"Wait, you asshole! You can't just leave with him like that. You're the reason he's crying!" Roman walks away from the punk bastard. His right arm balances a stumbling Seth until they're out of the club.

He hoists Seth into his arms and carries him towards his car. "Are you going to hurt me like yesterday, Roman?" the words are slurred, little laughs falling of Seth's lips.

"I'm sorry Seth," Roman whispers, bringing the smaller man closer to him, "I'm sorry for everything."

"You always say that," Seth mumbles the words incoherently, "Sorry should've been your name instead." His hysterical laughs turn into small cries before they transition into occasional hiccups.

Roman closes his door for him and goes to the other side. Seth is asleep when he enters the car and begins the drive to back to the brunet's apartment. His gaze keeps alternating between the road and the man snoring loudly in the car. _Your fault,_ the words keep taunting him. They play over and over again in his head. And it's true, it's his fault that they find themselves here.

Getting the door to open is a mission, Seth's now half awake and clinging to him like he did the previous night. The brunet slurs jumbled words loudly and the only words Roman makes out are 'toilet'. He places Seth on the ground carefully, allowing Seth to crush his face and kiss his lips. The alcohol is heavy on Seth's tongue and it causes Roman to cringe but he allows the smaller man to invade his mouth. "I love you Roman," Seth mumbles pulling away from Roman and stumbling into the bathroom.

Roman settles on the couch, waiting on the brunet to come back from the bathroom so that he can help him to bed. Seth comes back a minute later, Roman frowns, he looks Seth up and down. Seth's pants are gone, Roman isn't sure if he still has his underwear on because the t-shirt makes it impossible to see. But the brunet's thighs are in full view, he staggers towards Roman, only stopping once he's in front of a seated royal.

The black t-shirt falls off Seth a bit, revealing a smooth tanned shoulder. "I-I, uh…" Seth points a finger at Roman, while he looks at the royal with hazy eyes. "Row-man," he starts, slurring Roman's name. The finger that was pointing at Roman joins the rest of his fingers so that they're wringing together as he continues, "I'm leaving you. I-I want to start over."

Roman doesn't mean to, but he laughs—bitterly. This whole scene in front of him is strangely familiar. The surroundings are different, the words here and there but everything is so familiar that his mind drifts back to three years ago.

" _Roman," his name is said softly. He's not used to the softness in which his girlfriend says his name. Normally she says the words with anger in her voice, other times it's frustration and other times she says his name sadly, with tears in her eyes but there's also a few times she's said it with pure joy._

_Roman's eyes lift from his laptop, he'd been busy in his study with a proposal about a company that's in dire need of funding. "Nikki, I didn't know you were coming." He gets up and goes to stand in front of her, looking at her intently. She looks gorgeous in a red body hugging dress and black pumps. Red's a great color on her, she looks radiant. "You did your hair again. It looks beautiful, just like it's owner," Roman pulls her in for a kiss on the forehead but Nikki moves out of his touch. Roman's puzzled and his eyebrow arches in question, "Is anything the matter? Do you need anything?"_

_Nikki shakes her head and moves to stare at the endless green trees through the large windows in Roman's study, "I…came to tell you that—" a sigh slips past her lips. Roman doesn't like the tone of her voice—there's something there. He can tell he isn't going to like it. "This isn't easy on me, Roman. B-But I-I think that maybe we should go our s-separate ways. Y-You're clearly not ready for a relationship."_

_His heart shatters but Roman's voice is level as he says, "Oh?"_

_Nikki still isn't looking at him but her voice is cracking and Roman knows she's crying. It's all she ever does when she's with him—it never seems to matter how hard he's trying, "Y-You're not ready for love. Half the time y-you don't even know what you want. I'm important to you one day and w-worthless the next."_

" _You are important, Nikki," Roman says softly, meaning every word he says._

_Nikki scoffs, eyes wet with tears, "And your definition of important is kicking me out of your house at fucking 01:00 AM after I've given myself to you. Is that how important I am to you? That you ignore my calls and behave cold towards me? That you pull these disappearing acts leaving me worried sick and then pretend that nothing ever happened when you come back?! You don't hurt those who love you Roman! You don't make them feel bad for loving you!" Nikki finally looks at him. "And with you, I always hate myself for loving you," she shakes her head, moving away from the window to stand in front of Roman. "I don't think I'm the person for you. I can't do this anymore, Roman, I'm so sorry."_

" _You can't do it because you'd rather do it with John, right?" his voice is cold as he asks the question. Nikki's eyes widen, she looks away from Roman, mouth gaping like a fish out of water. Roman turns away from her. He grabs the bottle of whisky on his sparkling table. "You're right Nikki. You're not the one for me. Leave my house."_

Roman doesn't realize that his face is wet with tears. He keeps staring at a slurring Seth who's struggling to remain standing. The man keeps mumbling incoherent words about leaving and starting afresh somewhere. And Roman's getting agitated by the minute. He stands up and walks towards Seth, gripping the man's hair so that Seth is looking at him, "You're not leaving me Seth," he whispers coldly.

Seth giggles loudly and stumbles into Roman's chest, "You can't tell me what to do, Romie. I, uh—" the brunet burps in Roman's face, a frown knitting his eyebrows, "I don't want you anymore. I don't want to give you babies anymore."

Roman's jaw clenches hard at Seth's words—they cut deep. Seth has no idea how deep his words cut him. Roman's hands are shaking, his heart feels like it's being trampled on. He cuts his eyes at an unfocused Seth and turns away from him before he can do something he'll regret. His whole body is shaking with anger. Distant memories attempt to invade his mind, Roman's eyes shut tight. _Don't think about it,_ he repeatedly chants inside his mind.

When his breathing becomes unsteady, the royal takes deep breaths, holds them and then releases them like Manuia taught him. He can hear Seth going on behind him about this and that but he mostly talks about leaving. Roman blocks his voice out—he blocks everything out and focuses on his breathing. He flinches when he feels Seth's hand carelessly running down his arm. He looks over his shoulder, eyes meeting a drunk Seth's teary gaze, "I'm leaving Roman," the brunet slurs.

"No, you're not."

"Yes, I am!" Seth snaps drunkenly.

Roman turns to face him, his breathing's calmer. The ghosts of the past are slowly fading into a distant memory. Even in his drunk state, Seth's the most beautiful creature Roman's ever seen. His doe eyes are widened and he keeps stumbling on his speech. Roman isn't sure how he's still standing when he looks like he's about to fall any minute, "You're not leaving me Seth," he repeats, watching the tears slide down the brunet's cheeks, "I won't let you. You're not going anywhere."

Seth shakes his head stubbornly, "I'm leaving you. I promise I am."

"You love me Seth," Roman brings Seth to him. The brunet fights futilely, he's drunk and defenseless. He can't do much with how much his body feels like jelly, "And I'm falling in love with you too. I'm falling for you so hard that I think I'm already in love with you. I'm just…not sure how to love you in a way that doesn't hurt you."

The words don't have that much effect on a drunk Seth, the brunet merely giggles loudly, slurring out, "Lies" over and over again. He pushes Roman away causing the royal to fall on the couch. Seth plants himself on Roman's lap immediately and kisses down his neck grinding his ass on Roman's flaccid dick, "I want you to fuck me Roman."

Roman shakes his head no.

His response angers a drunk brunet, "Don't you want me anymore, Roman? W-Why?"

"I want you Seth. I don't just want you, I need you too."

"You're just saying that to hurt me," Seth slurs, "'S okay, I still love you. I love you even when you're mean to me. I love you even though you love Tyler," the brunet then keeps silent, his hands dig into Roman's cheek, stroking the bigger man's beard. There's still wetness in his eyes and Roman can tell the man isn't far from falling asleep. Seth's head goes to settle on Roman's shoulder—his breathing getting even.

Roman carries him to the bed and places his body gently beneath the covers. He rids himself of his own clothing and gets beneath the covers. Seth honestly smells like a liquor store but the royal bears it. He brings Seth's body closer to him so that his front is flush against the brunet's back—he craves the closeness. Lush lips touch the back of Seth's neck repeatedly. A few incoherent words leave a sleeping Seth before the brunet turns on his side so that he's facing Roman.

The royal frowns when Seth's breath fans his face—he should've intervened the minute Seth went to the bar area for his fifth shot. Seth gets even closer to him and wraps his arm around Roman. _Enchanting._ It's the only word that repeats inside Roman's as he stares at a sleeping Seth. "I'll try to do better Seth," he whispers against the smaller man's forehead, "I promise you I'll treat you better. Just don't leave me, please."

* * *

 

His stomach's churning uncomfortably when he jolts awake. One hand goes to cup his mouth while the other one clutches his stomach—Seth leaves the bed in a run, making it to the bathroom despite the darkness filling every corner of his apartment. His legs give out in front of the toilet seat, "Fuck!" the words leave his lips hoarsely. Seth empties his stomach into the toilet but there isn't much to expel except for liquor he overdosed on last night.

Seth's still gagging and ejecting the bitter liquid into the toilet when light floods his bathroom. He looks back at the door briefly, eyes finding Roman's large build that's leaning against the doorway. His heart lurches, stomach heaving and he turns his attention back to the toilet. He throws up into the toilet, cringing at the nasty taste on his tongue. His hair falls around his face, almost touching the toilet seat while Seth clutches the toilet seat in a white-knuckled grip.

His stomach flutters in love just as much as it does in uneasiness when Roman's scent invades him. The man's right behind him. Seth can feel his presence, it consumes him, like it always does. "It's okay, Seth. Let it all out," the royal's words are spoken softly in his ear. His brown mane has been pulled back and Roman's rubbing his back ever so gently in soothing circles. Seth hates how the man's touch comforts him. He wants to snap at Roman to leave him the fuck alone but he can't. The man keeps muttering words of comfort in his ear and his lips occasionally touch Seth's messy hair.

Seth flushes the toilet once his stomach doesn't feel like it's rolling and doing funny things. His forehead rests on the cold ceramic of the toilet seat, Roman's arms are now on his waist. Seth temporarily squeezes his eyes shut and focuses on Roman's whispered sweet nothings. They're getting to him—Roman's words are getting to him. His whole body is reacting to Roman's words, his touch, his scent—everything that is Roman, Seth's body reacts to. Seth isn't thinking as he turns to face the royal, he crushes their lips together, hands cupping Roman's cheeks tightly.

Roman's words are swallowed by Seth's mouth but the brunet heard the bigger man's surprised moan when he joined their lips together. The kiss comforts him and it feels like everything's ended all too soon when Roman pulls away from him. "Did you just share your vomit with me?" Roman's frowning as he asks the question.

"Yes," Seth whispers. Roman's frown tickles him and a tiny laugh escapes him before he keeps silent. Roman still has that frown knitting his eyebrows.

"As disgusting as that was, I can't bring myself to care. You're kissing me so that's got to be a good sign, right?"

The atmosphere in the bathroom turns serious at Roman's words. Seth pulls out of his embrace, he grabs his toothbrush on the counter. He's brushing his teeth when Roman comes to join him. The royal stands behind him, their eyes connecting on the mirror—there's a lot of unsaid things that need to be discussed.

Seth walks out of the bathroom, he isn't sure if he's ready to be honest. He's not even sure what he wants to say to Roman. He's still angry at him. He's still hurt by his actions and he's still confused and a part of him wants to be anywhere but where he finds himself—in his apartment with Roman. He's not wearing any pants but he still has his underwear on. He's dirty and he's hungry and he battles on what to do first, take a shower or find some food.

"We need to talk Seth."

His hands that were removing his underwear freeze at his thighs and Seth's breath catches in his throat. It still feels to soon to him and he's afraid of what he'll say to Roman. But better now than never. Especially since they're in Tampa so that if his heart decides….

His stomach turns and twists nastily, much worse than the time he had been vomiting. His breathing becomes labored and he's finding it hard to breathe. And his heart literally feels like it's slowly being ripped out of his body. And in that moment Seth knows it….

He won't ever be able to leave Roman. He's completely and wholeheartedly in love with him.

Seth's heart shatters, he hates it. Hates himself. For how hard he's fallen in such little time. For the one man he shouldn't have ever fallen for. His heartrate quickens, Roman's hard body is right behind him, touching his body so lightly, Seth would think he's imagining things if Roman's scent wasn't consuming him. He straightens his body, allowing his underwear to fall at his feet. Roman's hands are touching his arms, goosebumps remaining behind from the man's touch as he runs his hands down Seth's arms.

"We need to talk Seth…please," the man says again in a soft unsure voice.

Roman's right, Seth knows he is. He turns to face the bigger man and nods his head. He settles on the edge of the bed while Roman grabs the chair across the room and places it in front of him, sitting down so that they're face to face.

Seth remains silent, he's not sure if he can even utter a word at the moment. He's feeling so many things and fears breaking apart or snapping angrily at the man. So his eyes remain on a fidgety Roman, waiting for the royal to say something.

"I'm sorry Seth. For everything I've caused, I mean it. I'm really sorry."

Roman's words add fuel to the fire burning within him. It's all the man ever does and Seth wants to tell him to fuck himself with his fake ass sorries. He has the mind to leave Roman alone in this fucking apartment without saying a single word to him. But he doesn't. Because when it comes to the bastard, he never can do a lot of things.

"You hurt me Roman. All you ever seem to do is hurt me. Why?"

Roman's eyes widen, fidgeting on his chair even more than before. He looks like a scolded child, he always seems to look like a child to Seth. Which is quite funny because with as much as Roman is childish in his antics, he's also very much an adult. One who commands respect and who's whole aura exudes dominance and power. But right now, he just looks like a child. A child who doesn't seem to have a response for an agitated Seth.

Seth's eyes remain fixated on Roman, he folds his arms across his chest and waits for a response. They have the whole day and Seth…he isn't leaving this place without a response. To hell with the fact that they're supposed to leave for Miami tomorrow. He isn't going anywhere with Roman if he doesn't get any answers today. Seth's eyes go to the bedside watch, it's 03:55 AM, and he's assuming that about five minutes have passed and he still hasn't received a response.

"Roman, I will fucking leave you here if you don't answer me! You're not a mute, fucking answer me!"

The royal jumps at the instruction—another first that Seth's getting to see. Roman meets his gaze, Seth makes sure his eyes reveal how serious he is. "I'm sorry, alofagia." It's not the response he wants. The fucking asshole is testing his patience.

"Why did you hurt me, Roman?" Seth asks again, voice deceptively even, despite the storm brewing within him. "On Friday, I thought you were going to hit me. _You_ _scared_ _me_ _Roman_. Why?!" his voice is lifting again and he's trying to calm down but it's proving impossible with how worked up he's making himself.

"I would never lay a hand on you Seth," the words are whispered firmly.

Seth scoffs, blinking back the tears, "I don't know with you anymore. I want you to tell me why you're treating me the way you are. My phone—why'd you take my phone? Why did you lock me inside my apartment? Like some fucking possession!"

"You're right alofagia," Roman nods his head softly, "You're not a possession and I'm sorry for treating you like one. I didn't mean to hurt you and I'm sorry."

Seth knows what the bastard's doing, he's fucking apologizing to evade Seth's questions. To avoid any confrontation. At least, that's what Seth thinks the man is doing. "I don't care for your apologies, Roman! I want you to fucking tell me…why are you hurting me?!" he shouts.

"I don't know," Roman whispers, hands hiding his face right after . Seth hears his muffled groan before the man looks at him, "I'm not sure, Seth. I was just…angry," the last word is whispered.

Okay. Now they're getting somewhere, "Why?" Seth's voice is gaining confidence, it's firmer.

There's silence again but Seth stands his ground. He nails Roman with a look that's meant to show the bigger man how fucking serious he is. It seems to be working….

"Because of what you said," Roman clears his throat and drops eye contact to look at his palms but Seth can see how his eyebrows are furrowed, "About _him…_ T-Tyler."

The tears roll down his cheeks, making him feel so weak. It's all he ever seems to do nowadays. Seth wipes them away forcefully, "And what did I say that was so bad you thought I-I deserved the treatment you gave me?! Or maybe I should end this right now and you can go to _your_ Tyler. He's clearly more important than me if you're hurting me for even mentioning his name to you. Maybe you're still in love with him. Tell me now and save me a trip back to Miami. We can end things right now and—"

"I can't do that Seth. I can't leave you and you…you said you wouldn't leave me."

"M-Maybe I should. You don't deserve me,"

"I know,"

"Then what are you doing here with me? What do you want from me?"

"I'm here because I want to be with you. I'm here because I love you."

The words leave Seth speechless, they've caught him off guard. He looks at Roman, the man's gaze is still on his hands. He's not sure whether to believe him or not—the bastard isn't even meeting his eyes. But his words sounded genuine, they were spoken softly and they sounded so heartfelt, "No, you don't love me. You don't hurt those you claim to love, Roman," his mind's refusing to believe the words.

"I know,"

The bastard is testing him. He really is. Seth figures the royal asshole's lucky he's so patient. He isn't even sure to which part the man is saying 'he knows' at. "What about Tyler?" his mouth shoots to ask what's been swimming in his mind.

"What about him?"

Roman's jaw clenches and the royal finally meets his gaze, that darkness that always fills Roman's eyes when they blaze in anger is slowly returning. Seth unconsciously looks away as he asks, "Where is he? Are you in love with him?"

"Tyler's dead."

There's silence again. Seth is too stunned to respond. His mind barely notes that Roman didn't answer his second question. He suddenly feels bad for talking about the man. He'd been jealous over a dead man. Regardless though, it still doesn't excuse Roman of his behavior. "I'm sorry about him," he looks back at Roman. The man's jaw is still clenched tight, he stares at Seth blankly, "When did he die?"

Silence before, "Ten years ago."

That breaks Seth's heart. If this Tyler had been the same age as Roman, it means he was still a teenager when he died. "H-How?" his mind rushes to his mouth.

The silence is longer this time. Roman gets that look again—the one where his anger is enough to stifle the whole atmosphere. His eyes are so dark and Seth thinks he's shutting down, the royal's dark orbs have become cold. And this time Seth unconsciously shrinks away from him, placing himself further up the bed. " _Sui-cide,_ " Roman's voice cracks. He sounds pained and Seth can hear how his breathing gets harsher.

He's leaving the bed to go perch himself on Roman's lap to hug the man close before he can stop himself. Immediately he cradles Roman's head into his chest the man breaks down. Gut wrenching sobs leave Roman, he's shaking and hugging Seth so tightly like the smaller man's his anchor against a violent hurricane. "I'm so sorry baby," Seth whispers against raven hair. He suspects that Roman can't hear him, the royal keeps crying—wounded heartbreaking sobs that crush Seth's heart.

Roman's cries quieten down a while later turning into soft cries and hiccups. Seth cups his cheeks so that the royal's looking at him, "I'm so sorry, Roman," he says softly. Roman doesn't respond verbally but he presses their lips together. The kiss is so hard—Roman invades his mouth and bites on his lips, kissing him harshly. A sound of surprise leaves Seth's lips when Roman picks him up and moves with Seth still in his arms.

His back touches the bed and his legs are spread wide by shaky hands. Cold air hits his nether regions before a weight settles in between his thighs. Seth finds himself pinned under Roman, the man pressing his body into him. Seth wraps his arms around Roman's neck and tries to keep up with how hard he's being kissed. He can feel Roman's length hot and heavy at his entrance, he moans softly and pushes back on it. "Condom, Roman," he whispers against the royal's lips.

Roman disappears for what feels like a second before Seth feels his thick cock rubbing at his entrance again. Seth's blunt nails dig into Roman's back when the man presses into his aching chute. He's barely given a chance to catch his breath before Roman begins moving. And when the royal moves, he moves _hard_ and _rough—_ more so than usual. Seth bites on his lips to suppress his cries, this is different from the other times.

It almost feels like that time Roman was kissing him punishingly because of that old man. The royal's hands are everywhere, they're gripping his hair, holding him to the bed while he moves in and out of Seth's body, slamming into him hard enough the bed creaks and bangs against the wall. Wounded growls and grunts are drawn out of Roman's lips with each violent thrust. The big hands continue their wandering, they bruise and dig into Seth's skin, gripping his waist and holding his wrists so hard Seth just knows there'll be marks imprinted on his skin.

It takes looking into Roman's eyes for Seth to realize that he's being used to fight whatever demons are haunting Roman. The royal's eyes are dark, there's something there in his eyes that Seth can't quite decipher. The tears swimming in his brown pools as well. Seth cups Roman's cheeks and allows the man to fight it. Roman's thrusts are hard enough, they're verging on painful but he still takes it. Arms going to encircle Roman's neck while the man grips his hair and fucks him hard.

"It's okay Roman," his voice cracks. He arches into Roman and allows him to empty every painful emotion into him. It's his fault Roman's behaving like this anyway—if he hadn't pestered and forced the man to spill the ghosts of the past….

He feels Roman's thrusts become uncoordinated and knows that the other man is close. He gasps, squeezing his eyes shut when the grip on his hair tightens so hard, pain shoots through him. His hole clenches around Roman's cock, coaxing the man into coming. His lips are joined with Roman's in a hard kiss when the royal finally cums. Roman keeps on moving, sliding in and out of Seth until he eventually collapses on Seth.

His whole body hurts but Seth still hugs the man close, eyes blurry as he stares at the ceiling. Roman keeps mumbling incoherent words, they range from soulmates to death to babies to suicide and betrayal and abandonment. Seth can't make sense of them and he doesn't try to. He hugs the man close and prays that the love he feels for Roman consumes the royal. And maybe Roman comes with too much baggage—so much of it that Seth should be running for the hills. But he can't. Not when he's in love with the man. Not when he'd promised he wouldn't leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	18. Chapter 18

"Good morning," Roman's deep voice has Seth turning away from the cooking he's doing to spare a glance at the royal.

"Morn—" _Oh._ Seth's words die in his throat and his eyes widen when he takes in his boyfriend. Roman stands against the doorway in nothing but his _birthday suit._ His hair rests wildly on his shoulders and he looks tired, his eyes look heavy but he still manages to look like a god. Seth's hot as fuck exotic sex god. And Seth—he's unconsciously licking his suddenly dry lips before nibbling on the bottom one softly. It's proving hard to concentrate when all he's seeing are hard muscles and washboard abs and a sexy tattoo on a big arm. He's finding it especially harder to concentrate with Roman's mammoth dick right in his view.

He's seen it a million times but gosh… how in the hell does all of _that_ fit inside him? ' _You're a champ',_ his brain provides, ' _Roman's champ'._ Seth mentally rolls his eyes—the thoughts he has sometimes….

"A very good and hot morning, " the damn words escape before Seth has the chance to stop them. His voice sounded like he was having a hard time breathing and he's pretty sure he's gawking. Roman doesn't seem to have caught up yet, Seth's breath hitches when the royal rubs his eyes—tempting biceps contract and Seth turns away clearing his throat. The pan that had been frying their eggs is placed on the hotplate that's off. Roman's still standing at the doorway when Seth turns back to face him. The royal's eyes are unreadable as he stares at Seth's waist. It causes the brunet's body to heat up, his first thought being that he's wearing Roman's boxers. They're baggy on him and rest just below the beginning of his ass. But a gut feeling he has tells him otherwise, "It doesn't hurt," he blurts out, referring to the bruises on his waist.

The bruises are a bluish red color, imprints of Roman's hands on his waist and wrists. And if he's being honest, it does hurt. His back feels like it's on fire and Seth won't even get started on his ass. His wrists hurt too but not too bad. His words cause Roman to look at him, guilt flashing in his eyes but it's gone too fast, blank expression shifting back in place. Seth hopes Roman believes him—he doesn't want the man to feel bad. Yes, Roman hadn't gone easy on him but he understands. Even if it's a little bit.

Roman snaps him out of his thoughts by clearing his throat. The royal's right in front of him now, Seth isn't even sure when he walked towards him. His lips meet Roman's for a soft kiss before their foreheads press together. Their connection comforts him as does the depth of his love for the man who's hands are currently touching up and down his back softly. "I'll try to be gentler next time," Roman whispers the words in his ear.

Seth pulls out of their embrace slightly and looks into unreadable brown eyes, "I don't think gentleness exists in your vocabulary Roman," he chuckles quietly. It's a joke, why isn't Roman laughing? _He's one of the serious ones,_ his mind supplies. Seth seriously forgets how serious Roman is sometimes. "I was kidding, baby."

Roman shakes his head, "It's not a joke if I'm hurting your body too. I can't be hurting you in every way Seth."

Dammit! Those words make his heart flutter and hurt at the same time. "Listen to me," he grips Roman's face in his hands, "You. Did. Not. Hurt. Me" a soft kiss is placed on the royal's lips, the man's beard tickling Seth's lips. "Besides, it's not great sex if there aren't a few bruises here and there."

Roman laughs, thank god! Seth is helpless against joining in on it, he's said it a million times—the royal laughs like a little kid. It's seriously infectious. "You sound like a sex freak. Are you trying to tell me something, alofagia?"

"Yup. I'm a total sex freak!" Seth laughs, "But only for you though."

Roman presses his lips against Seth's briefly, "It better be for me only. You're mine and I don't take too kindly to sharing," he pulls back. Seth tries to pull his hands away but Roman grips them, not too tightly, so that he can inspect the bruises on his wrists. He groans—Roman groans, his eyes staring at the ceiling before they close shut.

"It doesn't hurt baby," Seth whispers, "Don't beat yourself up."

"I'm sorry, Seth."

Seth sighs, he knows the man won't stop feeling guilty no matter how many times he tells him it doesn't hurt. "I'll forgive you on one condition…" hopefully this works.

Roman's eyes open, left eyebrow raised in curiosity, "What is it?"

"We need to go out. Breathe in a bit of fresh air," Roman helps him take their plates to the kitchen island while Seth limps towards it with the juice. "Thank you for being thoughtful enough to get the food yesterday." He receives a head nod in return. "Anyway…about going out. There's this really cool place that Antonio, Dean's boyfriend, knows. It's a nature park, we'll enjoy the nature, cycle or hike or whatever but it's just to get ourselves some fresh air. It will do us some good, maybe clear our minds a little bit?" he's a little bit hesitant saying the last part, uncertainty over how Roman will react.

The royal isn't looking at him but he has a bemused expression on his face. Seth says nothing else and quietly eats his food, inwardly praising himself for making the eggs just right. The silent breakfast continues for a while until Roman finally decides to say something, "And this place…will we be going with your friends?"

"Antonio and Dean go hiking there every Sunday. Randy joins them on occasion without Xavier sometimes," Seth laughs, "Xav hates it. He says all that outdoor crap ruins his skin and his hair plus there's big buggy things that just love biting into his juicy skin."

Another round of child-like hearty laughs come from Roman's lips. Seth merely smiles this time while looking at Roman who has his head thrown back in a laugh. He's making Roman laugh, despite the heaviness of their conversation earlier on, he's still managing to make the royal laugh. Seth feels proud of himself, that's one tick of approval in the 'Boyfriend duties' department.

"This is really good Seth," Roman moans, stuffing his mouth full of food, he's going to resemble a chipmunk soon if he doesn't ease up.

Seth knows Roman's telling the truth because of the nonstop moans slipping past his lips. "Thank you," he smiles and finishes the last of his mango juice. Yes, Roman apparently bought two cartons of juice. One is the orange juice that the royal loves so much and the other is mango juice. Seth had felt a tiny bit bad when he'd realized that the royal had also gone grocery shopping during that time that he'd been locked inside his apartment. "So we can join them, right? It'll be really fun."

"If it'll make you happy then we can go," the response is rewarded with a kiss on the lips. Roman gladly accepts it, his hand gripping the back of Seth's neck. "I'll take care of this mess. Why don't you go take a shower?"

Seth accepts the proposal without the slightest hesitation. Roman's the neat freak in their relationship and he plans to milk it for all it's worth. So Seth leaves his chair, barely containing a pained moan from how much his body hurts. He limps his way into his bedroom and, yup, Roman's definitely a neat freak. The room looks spotless but Seth gets stuck between laughing and cheesing hard when he observes the made up bed. Masina had been right about Roman not being able to tell the beginning from the end. Seth isn't sure how the man's missing it when it's right in front of him. The covers he chose for his bed aren't even complicated.

He takes ten minutes in the bath to soothe his ravaged hole before refilling the bathtub again with water to actually take a bath this time. Music fills the bathroom when his boyfriend enters. Seth looks up at him with a smile, making space for him inside the small bathtub. Roman's chin rests on his shoulder while they soak in the hot water. His arms encircle Seth's waist while the brunet has his back flush against the Lanuolan's hard chest. The silence that ensues is a comfortable one. It's cozy too, the music playing in the background giving everything a romantic feel.

"Let me lick you up and down 'til you say stop. Let me play with your body baby make you real hot. Let me do all the things you want me to do. Cause tonight baby, I wanna get freaky with you."

Roman snorts playfully, "Really alofagia? How many songs have played and out of all them you choose this one? How do you even know the words?"

"Google, duh..." Seth shudders against Roman, the royal's biting on his earlobe gently.

"The search engine. I thought you hated my kind of music."

Seth entwines his hands with Roman's, "Not more than you hate my music though. I bet you don't even know a single word to the songs I listen to."

"How can I, when all I hear is screaming?"

Seth can't even come up with a comeback. He's getting used to Roman's sarcastic humor, in fact, he's sure he's used to it by now. He grabs the shower gel and insists that the royal bathe him. It doesn't take much commanding though, like he's said before, Roman can hardly keep his hands to himself. Seth loves it just as much as he hates it sometimes.

"I bought an ointment for your, uh, ass?" they're back in Seth's bedroom and still naked from their bath when Roman says the words—uncertainly. He really is like a child sometimes, so unsure and endearing. Seth looks at the white tube he guesses is to be used to soothe his ravaged hole. "You should lie on your back, I'll apply it _there_ for you."

"What? You're too scared to say turd cutter now?"

Roman rolls his eyes, Seth laughs because the royal rarely does that. He grabs one of the pillows, placing it beneath his back before spreading his legs. He feels strangely vulnerable as Roman sits in front of him and runs a hand down his left thigh softly. "You're hairy."

Eh, okay? Roman's seen him naked how many times now? "Uh, thank you?" Seth's not sure if the man's complimenting him. _Or he could just be stating the obvious,_ his stupid brain tells him.

"It's a pleasure," Roman says, gently rubbing two of his oiled fingers just outside Seth's hole. It's swollen and pinkish red from all the fucking the brunet's been receiving lately. Seth sighs and his eyes flutter shut, maybe he should take that joke about Roman not knowing how to be gentle back. Because the royal's so _gentle_ now as he massages his aching hole. Seth can feel it quivering from all the brutal fucks he's been getting. "Shhh…" Roman hushes him softly, Seth realizes that soft whimpers have been falling off his lips.

The royal's fingers are inside him as they move along his walls, massaging and working his sore hole. Seth lifts his head slightly, noticing how hard Roman's concentrating. Both of Roman's eyebrows knit together to the point that they're almost touching, it's his 'I'm doing something serious and don't want to be interrupted face'. Seth can feel the man moving gently inside him, soothing and massaging what belongs to him.

Their eyes connect when Roman looks up at him—it feels so intimate. Seth's heart stutters when Roman gets a soft grin on his face, eyes even gentler. He looks away, embarrassed for some reason, his stomach feels funny and his body feels hot—everything just feels so _intimate_ and it's overwhelming him. What has Roman done to him? Soft lips touch the inside of his thighs after Roman's done. The royal is whispering words against his thighs and Seth can't make out a lot of them but he does hear Roman's, "You're perfect Seth. So perfect."

"Thank you so much," he whispers when the royal comes back from the bathroom. He's rewarded with a kiss on the forehead, Seth can feel Roman smile against him.

It's hot outside, as it always is but Seth wears Roman's navy Nike hoodie and a pair of black shorts. He'd wear a tank top but he doesn't want his friends (Dean especially) to see the marks on his wrists. They'll ask too many questions and Seth just knows Dean will make kink jokes about being tied up and shit so nope—he's not taking that chance. Roman, his weird boyfriend who hardly wears short-sleeved t-shirts, matches him by wearing a similar navy item but it's a sweater with dark wash jeans and Nike sneakers. Seth helps tie his hair into the neat bun that Roman loves so much but decides against tying his. It's Roman who can't stand having his hair running freely anyway.

"It's one, maybe you should contact Dean? Find out if they need any snacks?"

"You…" Seth starts hesitantly, looking away from Roman, "h-have my phone."

Roman clears his throat, "Of course," he passes Seth, feet headed towards the smaller man's built-in closet. The gadget is taken out of Roman's maroon Nike sweatpants. "I…hadn't taken your phone Seth. I just left it in the closest, inside this tracksuit."

Seth mentally slaps his forehead, he hadn't bothered checking their luggage bags never mind Roman's clothes from that night. His battery's on the verge of dying, he's going to charge it in the car. He sends a text to Dean asking about the hiking trip. Dean responds almost immediately, telling him to bring Roman and some food. Seth rolls his eyes, his friend's love for food is bordering on addiction. And Seth won't even repeat what the auburn-haired man's said about Roman. Antonio should probably stay away from his boyfriend's phone if he doesn't want to die of a heart attack.

"Dean wants a few goodies, we'll then head to Xavier's. It's closer to where we're going than from Dean's apartment."

Roman grabs his wallet and cellphone, following Seth out the front door. In the hallway, Seth sees Tommy but the blond man's giving him a weird look. He keeps looking between Roman and him before looking back at Roman. A switch goes on in Seth's head—this morning…Tommy heard them. _Shit._ A blush creeps up, making his whole body burn uncomfortably. "Tommy!" his voice raises an octave higher.

"Noisemakers," the blond has a teasing grin on his lips.

"Haha, you're so funny. This is Roman, my boyfriend…baby, meet Tommy from next door," the words leave his lips in a rush. "We have to leave now, tell Lexi I said hi!" he practically drags a slow Roman towards the stairs. He's on the third floor, he'll survive going down the stairs. At least he won't die of embarrassment like he would've if he'd spent a second longer with Tommy. The nosy blond punk!

"What was that?"

"He heard us," Seth leads Roman towards the door to the garage, "This morning, he heard us."

They get in the car. "Mhm."

Seth rolls his eyes, of course, Roman's unperturbed.

Roman grabs a basket when they reach the store. His left hand entwines with Seth's as they cruise down the isles until they find the snack and candy one. The stares they receive at the store have Seth feeling quite uncomfortable and twice he's had to stop Roman from going to wreak havoc on the sly yet unknowing souls who keep sneakily taking pictures of them. And then there's the whispers from, "Oh my god, they're so cute!" Seth suppresses his annoyed scoffs. And there's, "They're so hot together!" and of course there's the baby comments like, "Can you imagine the hearts their kids will break?" and of course there's the bitter ones, "The guy he's walking with. He was a prostitute…how disgusting is that? He's a fucking Prince and he's choosing used goods! Out of everyone he could've chosen, he chooses this guy, the whole of Florida's probably slept with him. What a joke!"

Seth looks over his shoulder, the words are uttered by two young adult women. They're beautiful but their bitterness makes them ugly. He isn't sure if Roman's heard their words but maybe he did—what he's learned about the royal is that he's good at ignoring the negative. So Seth decides to do the same, he pays the bitter women no mind. He isn't going to let their words get to him.

"I forgot to take the biltong," Roman drags Seth away from the cashier.

Seth isn't sure what the man's talking about but he allows Roman to lead them back to the isles. "What do you call it again?" Roman's grabbed five packets of beef jerky. He must love it then.

Roman's eyebrows knit in befuddlement, "This?"

"Yes," Seth responds, unpacking their grocery for the cashier to scan.

"Biltong."

"Mhm," Seth nods his head, "In Lanuola, it's biltong?"

"Yes. In South Africa too."

"And you love this?" Seth asks, smiling.

"It's one of my favorites," they exit the store together, going towards their car, "But out of all my favorites, you're my favorite, favorite. Out of all the things I love you're the one I love more than love itself. I can't even quantify my love for you. I love, love you." Seth's left stunned as Roman opens the backdoor to place the large plastic bags in the backseat before leaving a still stunned Seth to go to the driver's side. "Are you coming?" he asks once he's in the car.

Seth startles at the sound of his boyfriend's voice. "Uh, y-yes," it's whispered shakily. He enters the car and looks at an all too calm Roman. The drive to Xavier's is silent, Seth's mind runs haphazardly. It considers Roman's words—the man said he _loves_ him. Roman had said the words earlier today too. Seth hadn't believed him, with all that's happened these past few days, he hadn't allowed himself to believe Roman. _But maybe he does. Maybe he really does,_ his mind tells him.

The car stops outside the Ortons' beautiful contemporary house. Seth has loved Randy's house for as long as he can remember. It's a modern contemporary house that's a mixture of glass walls and beautiful cherrywood walls. He's always loved it more because of the homely feel it has, but that's more on Xavier than it is on Randy. It's just the kind of aura Xavier gives off and if he ever becomes a parent (which Seth suspects will be pretty soon), he'll be the best parent a child could ever have.

"The royals, we're so honored!" Seth rolls his eyes, while Xavier smiles and gives him a small hug. Seth notes that he's again wearing a baggy item, probably one of Randy's hoodies. The dark skinned man's also wearing skinny jeans that accentuate his beautiful toned legs, it's too bad they hide his round ass. Okay that was bad, but Xavier honestly has the best ass and Seth says that as a mere observation.

"Hey _doll,"_ Xavier huffs at the nickname.

"You know how Randy gets when anyone who isn't him calls me that. You're signing up for your own death."

Seth rolls his eyes, "My handsome boyfriend will protect me," he leans back against Roman's chest and looks up at him, "Right babe?" he bats his eyelashes for extra measure.

Roman raises an eyebrow, "Xavier. It's lovely to see you again."

Of course, the royal bastard won't respond to him. Seth pulls out of his embrace and pinches his side softly. "You've been suspended from touching my body until further notice, _manamea._ " He tells the royal.

"Anything but that, alofagia. You know your body's my favorite drug."

Seth looks at Roman like he's grown two heads, "You don't even do drugs and that was so baaad. But I'll let you slide for being honest about being addicted to my body."

Xavier looks between the two of them and smiles in that 'hopeless romantic' way that Seth will admit he gets from time to time too, especially around Roman. "You guys are relationship goals!" he coos, sighing happily.

Okay….

They settle on the couch before Xavier disappears for a bit and then comes back with a tray carrying two glasses filled with orange juice. The smile that Roman gives Xavier….

It's so beautiful that even the stars would fall at the royal's feet to follow his every command. Clearly the man's impressed and Seth swears he can see a faint blush tainting Xavier's cheeks. It doesn't bother Seth that much though, he knows Xavier's in love with Randy to the point of no return. Just like he feels about Roman and hopefully like Roman feels for him too. He hadn't had the courage to return the man's 'I love you' that time in the car. He's still scared—because of so many reasons.

"Rollins, so you finally brought the boyfriend?" the cold bastard's voice snaps him out of his thoughts. Seth's eyes find Randy, he's observing Roman with interest. "Roman? Really great to meet you, properly this time."

Seth does a double take— _this_ Randy he doesn't recognize. And maybe you think he's exaggerating but the man really is a cold bastard, his eyes are proof of that—they're a pale blue color, penetrating and calculating. There's an energy about Randy that he doesn't get but Xavier's said it time and time again that it's only because of his upbringing. The dark skinned man never told him much except that Randy had been taught from a young age to rarely show emotion—it's his family's perception of how a 'strong man' should be.

His boyfriend is shaking hands with Randy a little distance away from where he was sitting with him just a few seconds ago. When did Roman even leave the couch? Seth shakes his head, he needs to take some concentration meds or something. He's been getting distracted a lot today. His eyes are observant as they watch Roman and Randy interact, Seth's not sure where Xavier's gone to, but his man is talking softly with Xavier's man. _Our men,_ his brain adds, his heart skids and patters softly at that.

"What do you think they're talking about?" Xavier's back. Seth blinks up at him, the younger man has changed even though he looked beautiful in what he was wearing before—he never seems to have to do much to look beautiful nowadays. The skinny jeans have been swapped for blue tight fitting jean shorts and a pink t-shirt with a rainbow unicorn on it. His hair is tied into two neat buns bringing out his flawless chocolate skin.

"Uh, I don't know?"

"It's obviously about us and how gorgeous we are. They want to spend the rest of their lives with us and will do us right. We'll have shared weddings in Lanuola. Hey, did you know that they have like three ceremonies before the wedding? I don't think it'd be compulsory for me and Randy to partake in that though, he's rich but not _that_ rich. Not rich enough that he'd own an exotic island with beautiful people who are diverse and welcoming. Ugh, that country's so beautiful and…wait. How did we get to talking about your lover's country and what was I talking about before?... _Oh, weddings!_ The whole thing might be problematic if we get married on the same day. Where will we find our best man? Oh…nevermind. Dean isn't into the whole 'get married' thing so he'll be our best man. What I'm really trying to get at is that we'll all live happily ever after," Xavier releases a long breath.

Seth can only smile up at him, Xavier does that sometimes—ramble. It's cute really, especially when he talks a mile a minute using his hands to stress his point. Like he was doing now, but it all came out funny and Seth couldn't figure out a lot through his hand gestures.

"Doll, we're leaving." Xavier goes to join Randy and Seth decides to get up, his own feet carrying him to his own man. "We'll take a quick detour to the bicycle store. Roman said you guys don't have bikes. We're driving in my Jeep, it's easier that way."

"Okay," Seth nods his head.

Roman and Randy leave for the Rent-a-bike store, leaving Seth and Xavier alone in the car. Thank god for the AC and the open windows because Seth feel like he's in a sauna with the damn hoodie he has on. "It's like they've become the best of friends," Xavier says, he grabs a handful of Gummy Worms and eats them a different color at a time.

""It's weird to be honest," Seth says, "Roman's like Randy in some ways. He's not a huge people person, maybe that's why they click."

"I see what you mean..." Xavier agrees, he bumps shoulders with Seth, giving him a curious smile, "So…you look better than you did yesterday."

Yesterday. Seth sighs, he'd been a mess when he came to Randy and Xavier's yesterday. He hadn't told his young friend much but Xavier's ever perceptive self had seemed know to what was wrong, or a tiny bit at least. 'No relationship is all sunshine, but two people can share one umbrella and survive the storm together,' those are the words that Xavier had told him while they cuddled yesterday. The truth of those words rang true after Roman told him about Tyler's suicide. He's willing to face the storm with Roman because he loves him. Everything else doesn't matter.

"I am. We…talked. He's going through a lot and sometimes I don't u-understand his behavior but I love him. I love him so much Xavier."

"I saw it when you were looking at him—back in our house, " Xavier elaborates when Seth gives him a confused expression. "And I think he loves you too, Seth. He looks at you like you're his world. And he's obsessed with you," a chuckle escapes Xavier, "It almost made me jealous for second, Randy's super attached to me but not like Roman is to you. He can't keep his eyes off you for longer than a minute."

"Are you sure you're not talking about Randall?"

Xavier opens a large packet of jalapeño cheddar flavored Cheetos. "These smell disgusting," his flawless face scrunches up in disgust, "And don't let Randy hear you call him that. You're behaving like Dean today," only Dean calls Randy, Randall to get the cold doctor all riled up.

Randy returns with Roman, Seth sees that his boyfriend is carrying an artsy looking tandem bike. "You love these, right doll?" Randy gives two packets of Boston Baked Beans and a Blue Bunny Chocolate Brownie Bomb sundae to a surprised but pleased Xavier.

"Thank you! Tell me what I did so you can buy me these again?" Xavier asks softly.

Randy's eyes soften, they meet Xavier's warm pools on the rearview mirror, "I'll buy you that everyday if you want me to."

"You see how perfect he is?" Xavier looks at Seth as he asks the question.

"Mhh, he's perfect. He's very, very perfect…" Seth's eyes find Roman's on the rearview mirror. The penetrating gaze coming from his boyfriend has Seth transfixed, everything else fades into nothing, leaving him and the man who owns his heart. The smirk that lifts at the corner of Roman's lips makes his knees weak.

Seth finds his mind trailing dangerously close to impure thoughts of Roman and him naked. Under the covers, on the bed, against a wall or on the kitchen island like that time they had a quick one before leaving for Tampa and again in Roman's car at that drive-in. He doesn't know it but Seth's biting on his bottom lip softly as he stares at his boyfriend with intense desire.

A nudge to his side breaks his connection with Roman, or maybe not, he can still feel the intensity of their feelings even with the distance between them. He looks at Xavier and then the packet of Cheetos that Xavier's offering to him, "You not hungry?" Xavier asks when Seth shakes his head.

 _Not for what you're offering,_ his perverted mind immediately offers. "I'm not…hungry," his voice comes out too breathless. Xavier looks as oblivious as his boyfriend who's focused on the road. But Roman raises that damn eyebrow, his tongue flicking out to lick his lips. Seth falls back against his seat, allowing his eyes to flutter shut briefly—the obscene images playing in his head aren't helping him calm the problem he feels rising (no pun intended).

"Is everything okay, alofagia?" Seth's eyes snap open at the question. _That voice,_ Seth is struggling not to squirm in his seat. Roman's voice is slow, deep and downright sexy.

"I'm—fine," the tone's strangled this time.

Roman says nothing else but that sinful smirk is still in place, Seth decides to look away from him. If they spend a second longer looking at each other then something crazy will happen and it won't matter that they have company. There's electric current running between the two of them. And besides, his backside is still throbbing though not so badly now. So he can't really be thinking about being fucked by the man.

* * *

 

"Do you have a brother?" Dean asks. They've been at this place for maybe an hour now and Roman's glad he came. It's very quiet and peaceful—the trail Antonio chose wounds up and around an endless green of hills and trees. There's a stream flowing with sparkling water, exotic flowers and he's spotted a few mushrooms. He's also seen a couple of deers and turtles as well. He'd laugh at Xavier's screams and disgust about the insects crowding the nature park—the dark skinned man literally screamed and jumped into Randy's arms when he spotted a _dead_ locust.

Seth pinches his stomach gently and Roman looks down at the smaller man,currently sat in between his thighs and leaning against him. Seth's head is covered by the baggy navy hoodie he has on making it quite a struggle to look into the man's eyes but he makes out Seth's, "Are you okay?" that's mouthed to him.

Roman nods his head, his arms tighten around Seth and he kisses what little part of Seth's face he can see. "I don't have brothers," he responds to Dean.

Dean's eyes dim a bit before they light up again, "An uncle? Cousin? Distant family? A cousin's cousin?"

Xavier is giggling, Roman's noticed that the dark skinned man eats a lot. He's in Randy's arms and his boyfriend has a blank look on his face. "Dean!" it's Xavier who says the words in between his laughing.

Roman isn't sure why Dean is asking, he's hesitant in his response, "My family…we're a large family. I have plenty of cousins and family relatives."

Seth laughs and snuggles deeper into him, "Tsk tsk…you have no idea what you've just done."

Everyone except a confused Roman and a mildly offended Dean break out into laughter.

"Oh puhlease," Dean grabs a can of beer, gulping the liquid down his throat. "I was just asking."

"Mhm," Xavier hums, knowingly.

"Okay _fine,"_ Dean shrugs, "You have any single cousins or family? At this point, I'll take anything I can get."

"Antonio's right here, you know…" Xavier points to Dean's boyfriend who's about five meters away from them and is barbecuing the meat.

"Uh…" Dean gives him a look that says 'so what?' "Tony doesn't smoke cigars and yeah, he drinks whisky but not like our dashing gentleman over here. And Roman speaks ten languages, he can play the piano and loves cars but most importantly he knows about classic motorbikes and their engines. Remind me why I shouldn't pursue his cousins again?"

"Jimmy's married. And our family is surrounded by females who're married. My other cousin, Jimmy's twin, he's a man whore. You'll probably burn his clothes and car within a week of dating."

Dean sticks his tongue out in disapproval, "Nah. I know how much it sucks to have that done to you. I ain't gone put up with that. Besides, I have a loving boyfriend, my hot Swiss bald boyfriend who loves me dearly."

The laughs start again, Randy snickers, "He's your boyfriend now, huh?"

"He'll always be my baby," Dean says dismissively, attention on Roman. "Okay how let's talk about your music…I bet you like classical music and go to theatricals and operas, eh?"

Seth scoffs, "Wrong! He's a sucker for smooth jazz and he doesn't go out. He prefers the indoors."

A set of curious eyes observe Roman and Seth—silence dominating the serene area. "And you hate jazz, alofagia." Roman's attention is on Seth. He has a lazy grin on his face while making eye contact with Seth's beautiful doe eyes that look almost hazel with the sun dancing in his eyes. "You're so beautiful," he adds, whispering the words.

Seth's hands join his at the brunet's waist, entwining. "He also loves soul music" Roman nods his head. "That song, from that time in the bathroom. Luther Ingram?"

"If loving you is wrong?"

"Yes," Seth turns his attention to the curious eyes looking back at them, "That's a whole song the guy's singing to his side chick."

"…how long have you guys been together again?" it's Dean who asks the question.

"Two weeks…going on three," Seth looks to Roman for confirmation and the royal nods his head.

"And you already know the kinda music he loves, never mind the artists…"

"I've got a good memory, Roman doesn't know what I like."

"I know you love Black Flag," Roman says matter-of-factly, "Your never shut up about how you share your surname with Henry Rollins. And that song, Nervous Breakdown? You said it's from their first EP when you were giving me a lesson on the 'different types of rock music' I do listen, even if you think I don't sometimes."

Roman's rewarded with a soft, delicate kiss on the lips. It makes his heart flutter and his hands clammy, it always happens when he's around Seth. The brunet makes him nervous sometimes.

"Gah! You guys are disgustingly sweet!" Dean's grating voice shouts loudly. Roman pulls away from Seth's lips and looks at his boyfriend's ginger-haired friend. The dreamy look on Dean's face weirds him out, the man's a handful and he isn't sure how his Swiss man is able to handle him. "So Roman, football? Do you watch football?" Roman's face is hiding in Seth's neck when Dean asks the question. For some reason he thinks he's being interrogated now.

"Ambrose, is Rollins your son?"

Dean laughs awkwardly, eyes darting to Randy, confusion present on his features. "Do I look like I gave birth to Seth? Do I look like his mother or father?"

"With the way you're carrying on with the questions you'd swear you helped father him," Randy sneers.

"Xavier if you don't keep Randall on a leash…" Dean starts.

"You mean—"

"Babe!" Xavier turns in Randy's arms, straddling his lap. Randy's getting agitated and his piercing eyes are colder than usual, "Chill…" Xavier runs his thumb down Randy's lips. He leans into join their lips softly.

"Oh look at that…" Dean singsongs sarcastically, rolling his eyes. Aaannywaay, Seth is a Chicago Bears fan, he'd die for them. What about you?"

"Uh, the All Blacks for rugby and Barcelona and Bayern Munich for football. My eyes are on Kylian Mbappé though, he's a PSG forward, very talented and he's only nineteen." He receives looks he can't quite decipher, Seth turns his head to the side to blink at him.

The silence he's receiving is broken by Antonio, "Switzerland is taking the cup this year, just wait and see!"

Roman gives the man a smile, "I'm hoping Germany retain the cup but I'm not against France winning."

"Germany will be knocked out in the group stages. World Cup Champions' curse," Antonio shakes his head. He comes with the bowl filled with grilled meat, placing it away from Dean. He knows exactly how his boyfriend is—all the meat will be gone if the food's in his sight.

"I'll take my chances with them. They haven't been disqualified that early into the game in 80 years."

Seth moves out of Roman's embrace to dish up their food. He hands Roman a bottle of orange juice, the royal isn't a big fan of beer, he doesn't like the taste. Plus he said he doesn't want to risk drinking alcohol when he'll still be driving back to Seth's apartment.

"Awww, aren't they cute Seth? They're bonding over soccer," Dean coos, grabbing another can of beer to go with the ridiculously full paper plate in front of him.

Seth kisses Roman's cheek that's round with the food he's eating, "They're perfect."

"Rugby…it's just like American football, right?" Xavier asks.

Roman swallows his food before answering, "In some ways. There's similar game concepts but American football normally lasts longer than rugby matches. And American football is much slow-paced than rugby league which is much more hectic."

"We'll watch a few together, right?" Seth asks.

Roman nods his head, he accepts the kiss Seth gives him before returning to eating his burger. Seth is still sat in between his thighs and leaning against him. His fresh intoxicating scent assaults the royal when blankets of warm air whips past them. Roman needs to smell more of it, it's his source of comfort. His head leans forward to breathe the smaller man in. Their surroundings and the people around them are forgotten as he removes the hoodie on Seth's head so that flawless tan skin is revealed to him. He kisses the back of Seth's neck repeatedly, coaxing the smaller man into baring his neck, lush lips touch the sensitive part of Seth's neck causing the brunet to mewl softly.

"Ou te alofa ia te oe pele," Roman whispers the words into Seth's ear. He means it, he really loves Seth, maybe his actions don't show it sometimes but he does, "I know I don't deserve to say it but I do Seth. Even when I don't show it."

"Follow me," Seth stands up, he pulls Roman up with him. "We're coming, I want Roman to see how beautiful the creek water is." He tells the others, their eyes reveal that they don't believe him. Seth can't bring himself to care, he made a poor excuse anyway.

Roman allows Seth to drag him a bit further away from his friends. Crazy in love by Beyoncè, he thinks, plays loudly on the portable speakers Randy brought with him. Xavier's singing along and moving his body on Randy in ways that should be considered explicit in such a public park. But there isn't anyone else besides them on this side of the park so maybe it's acceptable. Roman turns his attention to Seth, he finds doe eyes already looking at him in…love?

"Hey," he starts, marvelling at the beauty in front of him.

Seth moves closer to him and wraps his arms around the royal's waist, head resting on Roman's shoulder. The royal's right arm automatically folds around Seth's neck, his eyes close and he breathes Seth in. It's intimate and feels closer to Seth—and that's one of the things he loves about the smaller man. How they could spend hours together in silence and their connection will still bind them, making them feel more than words could ever say. It's what his feeling now, he knows he doesn't deserve it but he can still feel Seth's love for him. It eases him, making breathing come easier.

"I love you too, Roman. So much that I wouldn't know what to do without you…" Seth's arms remain locked around Roman's waist but his head's moved Roman's chest so that they're looking at each other. "But if you ever hurt me again, it'll be a risk I'd be willing to take. Because I can't be with someone who hurts me, I deserve better."

Roman nods his head earnestly, the mere thought of Seth leaving tears him apart. It causes his stomach to churn—and not in the good way it always does when he's around Seth. If Seth ever left, he'd fall apart with nothing to protect him. He's already feels so bare and unprotected, so…weak. Loving someone is in itself allowing yourself to be vulnerable and susceptible to heartbreak and so many negative emotions that he's felt before. Emotions that he still feels now but Seth helps calm the tempest. The man loves him in spite of his brokenness and he's so grateful for him. Seth doesn't even the number of times he's lain awake at night thanking his ancestors for him.

"I'm grateful for the second chance Seth or maybe it's the third?"

Seth shakes his head, "I'm not counting, Roman. All I know is that I love you and that I want things to change."

Roman nods his head, albeit hesitantly. He's not sure what Seth wants to change.

"I want you to talk to me about…everything. If there's something bothering you then you talk to me. I would like it if you considered sharing your bad dreams with me—I know you still get them," Seth gives him a look that tells Roman he shouldn't bother denying it. "You don't have to, if you're not willing but maybe talk to someone or Manuia. And when you're ready you can tell me too…even about Tyler."

Roman considers Seth's words—he hasn't spoken to anyone who isn't Manuia. They still do on occasion but there's so much going on from his past. Manuia knows about it but they both try to avoid the past as much as possible. Just like Manuia's heavy past depresses his bodyguard, his own past depresses him. He can't show that side to Seth—his lowest side. He avoids thinking about it so much for a reason. _It hurts—badly. So badly._

"I can't give you promises Seth, the only thing I can tell you is that I'll try. For you, I'll try because I don't want to hurt you."

"That's good enough for me, Roman. Just try as hard as you can."

"And you won't leave me?"

"I love you, I'm not going anywhere if you're willing to try."

"Because you're in love with me?" the words make him sound like a child but Roman can't bring himself to care.

"I'm more than in love with you, it simply can't be quantified. I love, love you."

"Say that again."

"What? What'd I say? I tota—"

" _Seth,"_ it's a warning growl with no heat to it.

"But I don't know what you want me to say though," Seth shrugs innocently.

"Don't make me spank you in front of your friends."

It takes Seth a minute, his eyes darken and his tongue flicks out to lick his dry lips. The ravenous hunger consumes them both, playful banter switching into sensual need. Roman grips the back of Seth's neck in a bruising hold to devour the smaller man's lips. Their tongues glide against each other, sending jolts of electricity down their spines. The attraction—it runs deeper than just physical. Roman can feel Seth touch the parts of his that are so deeply hidden, it scares him how easily the smaller man can simply awaken them.

Seth's friends wolf-whistling in the background causes them to separate. "Your friends are quite a handful. The ginger one…he kept looking at my dick print. And I don't know why."

Seth's lack of response and the way his cheeks heat up cause Roman to examine him, a dark eyebrow arched in interest. "I-I told them your dick size was 11 inches. S-shut up!" Roman tries to quiten his laughs but Seth looks adorable right now, with his cheeks heating up and his stuttering.

"And who told you my dick size?" He asks, amused.

"Guessed," Seth gives Roman a small shrug, he's still embarrassed.

"I'm a 12," Roman smirks. "You were close though, I'm proud of you alofagia."

Seth's eyes widen, he recovers quickly though and rolls his eyes, "Really? You're proud because I almost got your dick size right?"

"Yes," Roman says easily. "And because you take me so well."

Seth nods his head in agreement, "I still can't believe you're making me take all of that."

"You take me so well because we're made for each other, Seth. Me and you—we're a puzzle that fits together. Our connection speaks for itself…" Roman runs a lone finger down Seth's cheek causing the smaller man to release a shaky breath. "You feel it don't you?"

"I never understood what Rachel meant about Billy making her heart beat slow and fast at the same time. I think I do now though. You have no idea how insanely my body responds to you."

"Who's Rachel? Why'd she say that to Billy?"

Seth rolls his eyes, "That's all you got from everything I said?"

"I just want to know who they are."

"From a movie, Rob Schneider? The comedian? Please tell me you know him."

Roman scoffs, "I watched The Animal. I know who Rob Schneider is."

"Mhm," Seth huffs. Roman can tell the man doesn't believe him. But he really does know Rob Schneider or that one funny movie he watched. But he remembers the one about the male gigolo too. He hasn't watched the one Seth's talking about though, maybe they should watch it together….

"We'll get it on Blu-ray. It's a comedy right?"

Seth nods his head, "Rom-com. Xavier forced Dean and I to watch it, we had no choice."

Roman laughs, "You don't need to explain yourself alofagia. No one's holding it against you that you love romantic comedies," the royal makes sure that his tone's teasing enough.

"I hate you," there's no heat to Seth's words, instead they're comical and they cause Roman to laugh. "Stop laughing, let's go join the others."

Roman entwines their hands as they walk back to Seth's squad. Roman sits down on the picnic blanket they brought and brings Seth to his lap. The smaller man snuggles into his chest immediately and rejoins their hands.

"If you guys get any sweeter, I'll suffer from cavities," Dean complains, "Seriously, your honeymoon stage is disgustingly sweet. Have y'all even had your first argument?"

"Their first argument happened before they dated, remember?" Xavier giggles. He's eating again, Roman isn't sure what but the dark skinned man's cheeks are full.

"Oh yeah," Dean laughs like he finds something funny, "Back when they pretended to hate each other. When it was the complete opposite…"

"Whatever," Seth tilts his head so that he's looking at Roman, "What'd you think of me that first time you met me?"

"At the park?" Roman asks. "I didn't notice much of you at the park," Seth's not really pleased with his answer, Roman can tell.

"That's not fair. I had a crush on you the first time I saw you. I thought you were a hot Adonis dude."

Roman isn't the only one who laughs when Seth says that, his friends laugh loudly, but the ginger one is the worst. Roman can't say he's surprised. "Do I look like an Adonis to you?"

"Well you are gorgeous, I feel like everything you do comes effortlessly to you. Like I don't even know how you make breathing look hot. You're fucking ethereal dude," Dean says the words even though the question wasn't directed to him.

Roman looks at him, eyebrow arched in amusement.

"I'm worried, man. My boyfriend can't shut up about you," Antonio says.

"Yeah, I am too." Seth narrows his eyes at Dean jokingly.

"Well all I see is you, alofagia. No one else matters to me besides you."

"You're a fucking nine course meal," Dean drawls.

Roman is stuck between wanting to laugh and hiding behind Seth's head. The ginger is definitely a handful, "Uh, thank you?"

The nature outing or 'group date' as Xavier had called it ends well into the afternoon. At five, they pack up everything and separate. Roman ensures that the tandem bike is secured at the bike rack that Randy installed at the back of his Jeep before going to join Seth at the backseat. He'd ridden rode with Randy upfront when they were going to the nature park but Xavier's gotten needy for a reason unbeknownst to Roman. In fact he doesn't understand Xavier well—he thinks the man suffers from moods swings or an emotional disorder or something. But he doesn't spend too much time pondering what's wrong with him.

They reach the Ortons' household and exchange polite hugs and parting words. Roman's tired when they drive back to Seth's apartment. He'd had a great time, these outings are not something's he's used to but it was a great day. Seth had been right that the air would do them some good. He does feel lighter.

"Look at these," Seth breaks him out of his thoughts. He turns his attention to Seth briefly, eyes finding Seth's phone. A gentle smile graces his lips, it's pictures of him and Seth that were taken without their knowledge. "I don't know when they took them but they're beautiful. I like this one the most." Seth shows him a picture of when they'd gone to talk alone near the creek. Seth has his arms around him while he has his right arm around Seth's neck, both have their eyes closed. But it's their body language and the looks on their faces that reveal their love, their connection.

"It's really beautiful," Roman smiles, he takes out his phone when they're at a red robot. "Send it and make it my screensaver." He gives the iPhone to Seth.

"Done," Seth doesn't give him his phone back. The brunet scrolls through his phone instead, Roman tries to see what he's laughing at but he can't, not when he's focused on the road. It's probably a few pictures of them goofing around, but there's a few he's taken without Seth's knowledge. Moments where Seth's beauty would border on unreal that he'd capture the memory not just in his mind but on camera too. "You're a stalker."

Seth shows him a picture that he took the day they had a BBQ in his house. Seth's holding Leilani in his arms and the little girl is whispering into his ear. The brunet looks gorgeous in the picture. He looks happy, the glint in his eyes reveal that.

"I am," he admits, "Only because you're so beautiful and sometimes I want to imprint the images on more than just my brain. You don't know how much those pictures help me when work's getting to me."

"In that case, I'll let you pass." Roman gives Seth an amused smile. He entwines their hands and kisses Seth's knuckles. "Did you enjoy your day?"

"Very much," Roman nods. "It's never that hard to enjoy my day when I'm with you Seth." He means it.

"I'm just glad you were happy. It's what matters to me Roman." The love that dances in Seth's eyes as he says the words cause Roman's heart to jump against his ribcage. It still feels surreal to him, like the first time they had sex, Seth is _in love_ with him.

"I don't know what you see in me Seth but thank you—for loving me. For not leaving, I'm grateful."

"I'm here because I love you and because you love me. I'm here because I know you'll love me right. No one else but you."

Roman nods his head, "Thank you Seth." He wants to tell the brunet that he promises to do better but he refrains from saying anything else. His promises mean nothing at this point if he isn't going to fulfill them. He'll show Seth instead—he'll show the brunet that he's capable of loving right. He'll show Seth that he can treat him better. That the love Seth feels for him isn't in vain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	19. Chapter 19

Roman wakes up in the most delicious way possible, granted , he's disorientated at first, not knowing where the exquisite wet warmth surrounding half of his cock is coming from. But when his eyes flutter open, he's met with the salacious sight of his boyfriend in between his legs, on his knees and head bobbing up and down on the mushroomed head of his rock hard dick. "Fuuuck, Seth!" He cries out, hips bucking up to feel more of those sinful lips on his erection.

The look Seth gives him when their eyes meet blows Roman away—his brown eyes are widened, looking larger than they normally do. Roman can see the intent, love, eagerness and hunger in the smaller man's eyes as his spread lips take in more of him. "Just like that alofagia," Roman struggles to get the words out. Seth is running his wicked tongue down the underside of his shaft, humming deeply while closing down Roman's length and working his way further down on the thick cock.

Roman's head is lifted slightly, he watches Seth's succulent lips stretch unbearably wider around his dick. What the brunet can't fit into his mouth, he uses his left hand to stroke and tease and also massage his boyfriend's huge balls. Deep moans emit Roman's lips with every enthusiastic sucking on his length, Seth is looking at him in sheer lust, it somehow makes everything more pleasurable to Roman—knowing that his boyfriend finds pleasure in doing this. His balls contract when Seth's warm lips close around them and sucks on them like his life depends on it. Perspiration forms on Roman's forehead, trailing down his overheated body—Seth isn't just sucking on his cock. The man is worshipping it, intensifying Roman's pleasure. "Shiiit, baby!" there's a tension in his balls and Roman's shuddering on the bed, gripping the bedsheets in a tight hold. _It feels so good._

A familiar tingle runs down his spine when the tip of Seth's tongue licks the underside of his thick mushroomed head before it teases his slit and then sucks on his thickness fervently. Roman growls, he's high on pleasure as he cums, filling Seth's mouth his essence, the brunet chokes but he doesn't stop sucking on Roman's dick. Half-lidded eyes take in Seth's beauty, the look of utter bliss on his face while the smaller man sucks and fills his mouth full of Roman's essence. Roman's right hand lifts to stroke Seth's cheek softly, aroused eyes transfixed on swollen pink lips that milk him until he has nothing to give.

Seth's lips are red, Roman's essence drips down his chin from what he couldn't swallow and he looks so fucking _ethereal_ as he lies on top of Roman to join his lips for a kiss that's downright erotic—full of tongue sucking and dirtiness. Roman moans, his fingers entangling in messy brown mane—gripping. "Damn, Seth. What was that for, baby?" he asks, breathless, large hands squeezing the bejeezus out of Seth's ass.

"You deserve it," Seth whispers against his lips before planting his lips firmly against Roman's again. "We're not done." Seth opens the bedside drawer and retrieves a condom and lube. Roman growls in approval when his semi hard cock is stroked by a soft hand in firm, hard strokes. He wants to close his eyes and succumb to the pleasure but he can't. Not when Seth looks so fucking enthralling with his back arched to perfection, lips red and bruised, his hand moving up and down, teasing and relieving the sexual hunger that has Roman in it's claws. Exquisite sensations slam into Roman with every vicious stroke, his cock is a leaking faucet, steel hard and red, when Seth puts the condom on him before coating it with lube. His head falls back in an animalistic groan when Seth slowly sinks down on him, facing away from him so that the smaller man's tattooed back is facing him and that scrumptious tight ass is in his view.

Seth holds nothing back once he begins bouncing up and down his dick. The royal is helpless against the growls that escape him—he grips Seth's waist and helps set the pace, watching Seth's ass bounce up and down his dick. Seth is moaning and screaming his name with every thrust made into his sweet scorching heat that's driving Roman insane with rapturous pleasure. His right hand releases Seth's hip to smack the ass jiggling so enticingly right in front of him—Seth's doing things he didn't know the brunet could do. The smaller man is so fucking _flexible_ that Roman can't see the his upper body anymore. All he can see is that tan round ass as it twerks, bouncing up and down his dick so fast he can barely keep up.

Seth clenches around him and Roman swear to god can't take it anymore—he growls and in the blink of an eye lifts from the bed, taking Seth doggy style. He presses Seth into the bed until the brunet's chest touches the bed. A head-on pounding to the brunet's prostate causes Seth to scream bloody murder before the smaller man bites into the pillow beneath him to stifle his hoarse screams. Roman's eyes are fixated on a writhing and moaning Seth while he fucks the brunet into the mattress. Roman inserts his cock with force, he grips Seth bruisingly, eyes closing as he focuses on nothing else but their carnal coupling.

It's intense as it always is, his whole body drips with sweat, the hole squeezing his cock makes him release harsh pants. "YOU'RE SO FUCKING TIGHT, SETH. GODDAMIT, I LOVE FUCKING YOU, BABY! NOTHING IN THIS WORLD FEELS AS GOOD AS YOU!" He bellows, gripping Seth's hair forcefully so that they're flush against each other, sweaty chest touching sweaty back. "WHO DO YOU BELONG TO?"

Seth whimpers, his head rests on the royal's shoulder and his eyes are squeezed tightly. "Y-YOU! A-All yours, daddy!"

Roman's nostrils flare at the words, they turn his already hard cock into an iron pole. His hands tease Seth's peak nipples before he pulls on them so _hard_ Seth screams name. With impassioned cries, Seth throws his ass back on Roman's thick cock and moves his body enticingly. "Fuck, baby! You're the hottest sight I've ever seen! What'd I tell you about my cock huh? You see how well you take me?! We're fucking meant for each other Seth!" Roman growls into Seth's ear. The smaller man nods his head frantically and allows Roman to push his head back onto the mattress. He clasps the bedsheets in a white-knuckled grip and lays his head on one side while Roman grips his hair for leverage, pressing his head onto the bed.

The bed is creaking and banging loudly against the wall with how hard they're going—it's verging on animalistic. Roman's feral in his thrusts, he fucks Seth like his life depends on it. He hears Seth's cries, his cracked, "Don't stop. F-Fuck, don't ever stop, D-daddy." He's not sure what's gotten into the man but Roman lives to deliver. And so he doesn't stop, he keeps pounding into Seth's hole, ravaging and ruining the smaller man on the inside. Fuck the fact that Seth has a class in a few hours and will the effects of how hard he's being taken.

Moans that Roman knows Seth will be embarrassed by leave the brunet's lips—they're high pitched and wanton. The chemistry between them is unadulterated, raw and brutal. Roman isn't surprised when he feels Seth tense beneath him, his twitching hole squeezing the life out of his cock. "Fuck, fuck, fuck. I-I, daddy…oh, shit! I fucking love you daddy! I love you…Roman, I love you…I love you so much," it's a non-ending chant falling off Seth's lips as he cums. The praises keep falling off his lips as do the words of affection.

They don't help calm the erratic beating of Roman's heart instead they cause Roman's eyes to water. His eyes close and two lone water drops fall from both his eyes. He shuts his mind and focuses on the way Seth's cock grips him, he focuses on Seth's tight warm heat, how the smaller man's wet chute welcomes him and grips his cock so snugly…like it knows it's owner. He knows Seth is spent beneath him, he can hear his sobs—the man's sensitive but he still goes harder, primal instict kicking in so that he can finish as well.

His thrusts become uncoordinated but they're still deep and hard as he slams into Seth's body over and over again. Another tingle runs down his spine, his balls contract and Roman's body trembles with delicious sparks running all over his body. His jaw clenches tightly, hands gripping Seth's waist tighter when he explodes into his second orgasm. He presses into Seth, toes curled, while fucking the smaller man until the tingles fade into small trembles. Seth releases tired moans when they both collapse on the bed and Roman ever so gently pulls out of him.

"You're going to cripple me one of these days but fuck if I don't love any minute of it," a breathless voice chuckles before soft lips touch the inside of Roman's neck.

Roman chuckles, he brings Seth to him so the brunet's head rests on his arm. "Do you blame me with that mouth you have on you?"

Seth runs a hand down Roman's chest before his arm encircles the royal's waist, "I love you daddy."

"Daddy, huh?" a kiss is placed on Seth's sweaty forehead before Roman looks into dazed brown eyes, "I love you too, you twenty year old looking twenty-nine year old."

A small grin tugs at thin lips, "I'm your elder, respect me."

Roman scoffs and drags Seth up with him, carrying him into his arms headed for the bathroom, "I still look older than you. Besides, three is not much of an age gap."

"But I'm still older."

Roman tries very hard not to roll his eyes, his eyebrow arches and a smirk forms on his lips. "I don't care how old you are, I'm still your Daddy. You said it yourself."

"That was the sex speaking, not me."

"And after? It was still the sex, right?" Roman asks sarcastically.

"Post coital bliss," Seth shrugs innocently.

"Really?" A smirk forms on luscious lips when Seth releases a tiny moan. It causes Roman's hardening shaft to fatten. They're in the shower and probably shouldn't be thinking about going for another round when Roman should already be at work but he can't bring himself to care. He's where he needs to be with the person he loves.

"Roman wait...it's not a good idea. There are no condoms here." Seth's words contradict how his body behaves. The smaller man pushes back on Roman's hard dick and stands on his tiptoes mewling loudly when Roman teases the smaller man's twitching hole with his dick.

"I'll pull out…" Roman grunts, "Now bend over and take it. You know you want it." Hot water pelts their skin as their lips join for a lust-filled kiss before Roman bends Seth so that the smaller man is holding onto the shower knobs for leverage. Roman then invades Seth's body again, burying himself in his lover's warmth. They're joined so deeply one wouldn't know where Roman began and Seth ended. Roman's skillful in his thrusts, it's like his body knows what the man crying out and moaning in front him loves and how exactly he loves it.

After the brunet's orgasm rips through him, Roman makes sure to keep to his word when his balls tighten and a heat unfurls in his stomach while it twists and turns. He pulls out of Seth and strokes his length, left eyebrow raising in curiosity when Seth turns to face him and gets on his knees. He lets go of his shaft allowing to Seth grip it for him, guttural moans of pleasure leave his lips. A warm wet mouth swallows his cock and Roman swears he's dying from the euphoria.

He grips Seth's wet hair and holds him in place while driving his cock in and out of the smaller man's mouth until it hits the back of Seth's throat. Saliva drips off the corners of Seth's mouth while Roman stretches the brunet's mouth full of his dick. Their eyes remain on each other, love evident in their features while Seth chokes and stretches his lips, accepting all that Roman has to offer. Blazing white spots blind Roman when he has his third orgasm, Seth fades out of view, he's seeing stars and his mind's fucking hazy. Hot white essence drips down Seth's lips but the brunet keeps on sucking until Roman's knees buckle, threatening to give out.

"You're amazing Seth," the praise is whispered breathlessly. He pulls the man up, devouring his lips and tasting himself on Seth's lips. The whole thing's so hot to him, he feasts on Seth's lips until the need for air separates them. Roman kisses Seth's forehead and their arms lock around each other for a while, the hot water still running down their overheated bodies. Seth grabs the shower gel and they bathe each other before they both exit the shower to get started on their day.

A few of his work clothes are in Seth's room and the royal is surprised when they are retrieved for him by a naked brunet. Seth's limping, a smile on his face as he carries Roman's suit and dress shirt. Roman smiles when he's helped into putting on his shirt and tailored pants. A soft warm hand touches the tattoo on his pec briefly when Seth buttons up Roman's white shirt, the love in Seth's eyes takes Roman's breath away. He kisses succulent lips before allowing Seth to limp to the bedside drawer to grab a small glass box carrying a few of Roman's cufflinks. The brunet grabs silver ones with Roman's initials and goes to fasten them on the white shirt's sleeve cuffs. A black tie goes around Roman's neck and Seth fixes it for him before dusting imaginary lint off of Roman's shoulders.

"Let me fix your hair," a smile that causes the butterflies to flutter inside the royal's stomach is given to him. He nods his head and sits on the black cushioned chair placed in front of the mirror. Seth comes back, still naked as the day he was born, a towel in hand that settles on Roman's shoulders. The brunet pulls Roman's hair back and ties it into a neat bun before placing a swift kiss on Roman's temple.

His offer of returning the favor is declined and Seth tells Roman to watch him get dressed instead. He knows it's meant to tease him. Roman squirms on his seat as Seth turns away from, bending right in his view while putting on his tight underwear before slipping on skinny jeans that fit like second skin on him. They accentuate his firm round ass and toned legs, causing Roman to lick his lips. He didn't know that he'd ever be such a huge fan of these damn tight jeans but since Seth removed his cast five days ago, he's been wearing nothing but those tight jeans. Roman can safely say they're one of his favorite clothes that belong to Seth.

"Beautiful," he whispers once Seth's fully dressed and stands in front of him. The black band t-shirt he's wearing hugs his lean but muscled body perfectly and the black snapback only elevates his beauty. Seth's gorgeous as his lips stretch into a toothy grin. "I'm never letting you go Seth. All this beauty, I plan to make it mine forever. I plan to make _you_ mine forever." He means it, it's only been three weeks and a few days but he's sure of it. One day he'll marry Seth…the brunet just doesn't know it yet.

Seth's eyes soften, barely contained wetness swimming in his eyes while he nods his head gently. They head to the breakfast room and Seth tells him to sit down and relax to which Roman nods his head. He's still not sure why he's receiving this King treatment but decides not to think about it too much, maybe Seth woke up on the right side of bed. He laughs to himself, Seth _does_ sleep on the right side of the bed. It's whatever….

A few minutes later Seth comes back with a tray filled with assorted breakfast goodies. He pours Roman a glass of orange juice and instructs him to choose whatever he feels like eating. Roman complies, settling on pancakes and eggs.

"So how did you sleep?" Seth asks in between their breakfast.

"Fine," he responds.

Seth nods his head, "You didn't get any dreams last night?"

Roman shakes his head no, "Slept right through the night until I woke up to the best feeling in the world. And then I got my mind blown away with one hot as hell morning glory." He laughs at Seth's blush and drinks his juice. "I still don't know what I did to get my day started so hotly."

Seth pauses his eating and eyes him with love dancing in his brown eyes, "It's just…I'm thankful for how you've been trying to open up since we came back from Tampa. I know it isn't easy but you're sharing what little you can and that's all I ever wanted. I love you so much Roman."

It hasn't been easy, Roman can agree with that, but in the week and two days that they've returned from Tampa, he _has_ been sharing. Not everything because there are some things that will destroy him if he reopens those old wounds. But a few of his dreams about Tyler, he tells Seth about. He always tries to keep his voice from breaking on mornings they discuss them. He does his best not to divulge too much, especially about his feelings for the dead boy. Because they are still there—all complicated and ranging from undying love to resentment. But he's with Seth now and he loves him too, so very much.

"I love you too, Seth." He looks into Seth's eyes so that the man can see how serious he is.

The brunet leans in to give him a chaste kiss on the lips, "I spoke to Dean yesterday, he wants to visit next week. Antonio is going to Switzerland, he says he doesn't want to be lonely. I think that's just an excuse to come here though, I mean Xavier is nearer. Or maybe he knows Randy will piss him off and Xavier will be stuck in between…"

"Mhm," Roman hums in acknowledgement. "I'm not against him coming, he is your friend. The one with the mood swings can come too."

Seth rolls his eyes, "He doesn't have mood swings," Roman gives him a look causing Seth to smile, "Fine but that's only because he's—never mind. I should let you call him that in front of his boyfriend. Don't come crying to me when Randy murders your ass."

"He wouldn't, we're good acquaintances." Roman's voice is smug as he says the words. He kisses Seth's knuckles watching doe eyes widen.

"With Randall?"

"No. With Randy,"

He gets another eye roll—it's two eye rolls actually, "His birth name is Randall, that's his name."

"But he doesn't want to be called that so you need to respect his wishes."

"Tsk tsk, it's not like he's here to chew my head off for calling him by his _birth name_ ," Seth looks at him like he's gone crazy.

Roman shakes his head, "It shouldn't matter that he isn't here, alofagia. His boyfriend is your friend and I'm sure you wouldn't call Xavier by a name he clearly doesn't like. He's not with us now but I know you wouldn't call him names. Why? Because you respect him and are loyal to your friendship with him. Why can't you do the same for Randy?"

A sigh leaves Seth but he nods his head in understanding, "Fine. It won't happen again."

"Good."

"Bossy ass."

"It comes with the territory. I'll get you a manual, Daddy tendencies 101 for dummies."

"I hate you."

"You love me."

"I can change my mind, can't I?"

Roman doesn't verbally respond, he rolls his eyes though, kissing the grin off Seth's lips. Breakfast continues lightheartedly and a look at his watch tells Roman that he's over an hour late. It's seven-thirty and he's usually long at the office at this time. His first meeting is at nine, he's meeting with a marketing mogul at the man's offices which are an hour and thirty minutes away from his house. "I have to go, Seth." He gets up and the brunet carries his briefcase for him, escorting him to the front door. They find Masina outside, he greets her and exchanges a few polite words with her before Masina heads in the direction of her compound.

"Have a great day at work. I love you," Seth hugs his waist.

Roman returns the hug and accepts the kiss Seth plants against his lips. "I love you too, alofagia. It will be very impossible to not have a great day with the way you started my morning." He feels loved and special, he's still not sure he deserves the treatment he's been receiving today but his heart melts in tenderness. He's at his car with Seth still standing at the front door when Roman goes back to him, planting another hot kiss on Seth's lips. He grabs Seth's ass possessively and kisses down his neck. "Whose is this, Seth?" Large hands fondle Seth's ass, the words whispered seductively into Seth's ear.

The brunet shudders against him and grips his shoulders, "All yours."

"You're forgetting something," Roman growls, hands tightening causing a gasp to tear out of Seth's lips.

"This ass daddy, is all yours. Only yours, _Daddy."_

Roman pulls back and laughs out loud. "I always knew you were kinky," he earns a pinch to his side, Seth looking at him in amusement. "I love you Seth," he says seriously.

"I love you too. Call me, okay?"

"Do you have to ask?"

"I'll wait for your call, it'll come five minutes from now." Roman laughs, Seth knows him so well.

***

This meeting has been dragging on for too long and Roman can't wait until the clock hits eleven. The pitch that Mr. Lieberman's team came up with is nothing short of amazing but he's not sure why he, specifically, had to come. Jimmy usually fairs better at these things plus he knows more about their chain of hotels than Roman does. His phone vibrates and Roman grabs it, noticing it's a message from Seth. His eyes dart around everyone sat inside the boardroom, they're focused on the blue-haired girl's pitch so he opens his phone to check the message.

His eyes nearly bulge out of his eye sockets and the moan that threatened to slips out of his lips is covered with a small cough. The message's simple enough.

_I hope you're having a great day._

It's all it says but the picture that accompanies it causes Roman's body to react in ways it shouldn't in front of these people. He tilts his phone away slightly even though he's sat at the head of the table. Roman struggles not to shift uncomfortably in his seat, there's a stirring in his nether regions. His eyes drink up the sexiness that is Seth's hot body. He's not sure when Seth took the picture but he doesn't think it was today. It's a hot as fuck picture of Seth's naked body—Roman greedily swallows a hard body, long toned legs, strong thighs and that beautiful dick that's as gorgeous as the rest of Seth's body.

He's still caught up in the first picture when another one comes through, it's Seth's back that he's seeing this time. He can tell that brunet took the picture himself, Seth's right hand grips the iPhone that he bought with Manuia. Thank fucking god because Roman would wreak havoc on anyone who'd take a picture of Seth naked—the smaller man's body is for his eyes only. His eyes devour a strong tattooed back, going further down to fixate on Seth's supple ass. It's perfect, gorgeous, firm and looks thick so fucking _thick_ that Roman licks his lips and suppresses an aroused groan—the things he would do to those deliciously round buns if he were near them...

He releases a shaky breath, hands trembling as they type a message to his tease of a boyfriend.

_Roman: I am now. I swear you're giving me blue balls Seth._

He gets a response a minute later.

_Seth: Oh, daddy. You'd know I'd help you out if I were there, right?_

_Roman: Tell me what you'd do._

It probably wasn't a good idea to send a message like that, Seth's response will only make him harder and he still stuck in this meeting for another fifteen minutes. And Seth has his first lecture about an hour away from now. Another message comes through, Roman's hands are clammy and his heart's beating rapidly. He's parched and feeling hot all of a sudden, he loosens his tie to lessen the stifling feeling.

_Seth: I'd let you invade my mouth with your big fat dick, let you fuck my face. And then I'd let you fuck me hard. I'd let you pin me to the bed, have me at your mercy while you fuck me like you hate me, just like you love it. You want to mark with your cock, don't you daddy? To show me who I belong to?"_

"Fuck Seth…" the words come out in short breaths. What's gotten into his boyfriend? Roman's never seen this side of Seth before but fuck if he doesn't love it. Little Roman…well, big Roman, judging by the problem rapidly growing down there at the moment, seems to agree with him. He'd give anything to be with Seth at the moment—gripping, pulling, smacking and fucking the smaller man with stark enthusiasm. He sends a response to Seth.

_Roman: Damn right I do. The things I want to do…I wouldn't stop until you legs break._

_Seth: Is that a promise, daddy?_

"Roman?" the royal's eyes snap up, falling on Manuia's curious ones. "You ready to leave?"

Roman clears his throat, "We're done?"

"Yes, where's your head at? You're very distracted today." Okay, Manuia has a point but it isn't his fault. He's been thinking about Seth the whole day, and he's been flying on a non ending cloud since this morning. He feels like a superhero, he's never done drugs before but he feels high on heroin, cocaine and whatever drug out there that makes one feel on cloud nine. On seventh heaven. He's in heaven or maybe it's paradise but there are angels singing. And it's just Seth and him, no one else but the two of them being consumed by each other on fucking white clouds.

"I'm fine, brother. I was just thinking about…something," he clears his throat. Polite handshakes are exchanged with everyone before he tells the Marketing Director of Sun-Kissed that he'll keep in touch. He didn't catch much of the meeting but Manuia will brief him. He sends Seth a quick message, promising the brunet one hell of an intense hot romp before telling him he has to go.

***

"We were able to trace the number boss. It belongs to a Katherine Rollins," it's Cody who says the words. They're in Roman's office, the clock's just gone after five and Roman had made sure to wait for this specific time to ensure that Manuia has left the building. His bodyguard would be suspicious if he saw him with the two efficient men belonging to the Security department.

There's a number that has been repeatedly calling Seth's cell for the past two days. It hasn't gone through Seth's cell though as Cody and Ted installed a system that diverts all unknown calls and messages from strange numbers to a spare cellphone he keeps in his study. It's all for Seth's safety and his peace of mind, he had it installed after that paparazzi saga when they were calling Seth's phone nonstop.

"Katherine Rollins? That's his mother…" he trails off, accepting a brown folder from Cody. He scrolls through it mindlessly, eyes stopping briefly to take in the picture of the lady who gave birth to Seth. She resembles him in some ways, Roman can see where the brunet gets his beauty from. The picture is probably from her earlier years because she looks young and gorgeous. Her eyes resemble Seth's own beautiful ones to the tee and Roman feels like he's seeing a bit of his boyfriend in her. The only difference is that Katherine is a blond in this picture.

"Yes," it's Ted who responds this time, "We didn't get much info on her but a reliable source told us that she was in Tampa last week. Probably looking for her son after the pictures from your trip there surfaced."

"Why now?" Roman's eyebrows furrow. As far as he knows, the lady hasn't had contact with Seth in four years. The last time she saw Seth, she'd been a druggie whore who pretended to be clean for a few days before running away with Seth's furniture and a few hard earned hundreds. "I don't want her to talk to him. I don't want her to have any contact with him at all. She probably wants money now that the papers are in his business. Block that number."

"On it, boss." Cody says.

Roman nods his head, "Is there anything else I need to briefed on?"

"He went with the scruffy guy and his friends to a house on 72nd street." Cody looks to Ted for confirmation to which his husband nods his head.

"Oh, he called me about that. It's a study group with the hipster and his friends. Anything else?" Cody and Ted shake their heads no. Roman moves away from his desk, "I appreciate your adeptness gentlemen," he shakes hands with both men before guiding them out of his office. Alone, Roman ponders on whether or not he's making the right decision in denying Seth an opportunity to speak with his mother. A part of his mind is telling him he's doing the right thing—he knows the negative effect toxic mothers have on their children. Tyler was so badly damaged by his mother's actions that he failed to see any good in himself. It's why he committed suicide, it's why the boy killed—

_No. You're not thinking about it._

Roman sighs, eyes fixated on the view in his office. His phone is in his pocket, he takes out, scrolling through his gallery that's filled with Seth's pictures. They range from times when he'd take pictures of Seth in his sleep to the ones they take together on the days that he does allow the brunet to take pictures of them. He's not really big on the selfie thing and for him a phone's use is to connect him with others, his family especially.

"I changed my mind, unblock her number. The next time she calls, make sure he gets the call. Make sure he gets all her calls from now onwards." The call ends when Cody affirms that they'll do as instructed. He's probably making a mistake but Roman can't possibly deny Seth his mother without giving the smaller man a chance to connect with her. He doesn't know much about her now and if she's in a better space. Maybe she's changed, maybe she just wants her son. But he'll ensure she stays the fuck away from him if she's toxic. He won't entertain that kind of negativity around Seth.

* * *

 

"Seth, you're the Pepperoni pizza, right?"

Seth gives Elias his attention, accepting the pizza box given to him. "How much do I owe you?" he grabs his bag, taking out his wallet.

Elias looks at him as if he's just been insulted. "You do know that you aren't going to pay for anything when you're with him, right? The guy's in love with you Seth, come on…" Sasha rolls her eyes.

"I don't want your payment, pretty boy. Your presence is payment enough," Elias's smile is sun bright. He settles next to Seth so close that they're arms are brushing. The brunet scoots away a bit and opens the pizza box, taking out one large slice of pepperoni pizza goodness. He closes his eyes at the first bite, that's an important thing to do—the first bite is always the most delicious. Bo's cute laughs (they're infectious) have him opening his eyes.

"What?" he asks, noticing that all their eyes are on him.

"Nothing," Finn says. "You were just talking to yourself. First bite is always delicious huh?"

"I said that out loud?" The embarrassment is evident in his voice.

"Moaned too," Bo laughs, "Don't blame you though. Pizza's orgasmic almost as orgasmic as having good dick—"

"Bo!" Elias shouts. Bo jumps on the couch but says nothing else, he still has a naughty grin on his face though.

"My friend Dean, he's like you. Has no filter," Seth laughs lightly.

"Your friends from Tampa, right?" Seth nods his head at Sasha's question, "Cool. So when are we meeting them?"

Seth shrugs, grabbing another slice of pizza. "Dean's coming over here next week. I'll talk to my other friend Xavier, see if he's interested in joining us. But his boyfriend is so attached to him, he can't function without Xavier so he probably won't allow it," a laugh escapes Seth when he thinks about Randy.

"So he's possessive?" it's Elias who asks the question.

"Not really, he's just attached to Xavier."

"Your boyfriend's the same with you. Are you guys attracted to men like that?" Elias again.

Seth rolls his eyes, "Yes, I'm attracted to my boyfriend who's in love with me and sees no one else but me. And so are my friends, we're all lucky enough to have men who love us."

"But they're possessive, aren't they?" Elias again.

Seth looks him in the eyes, "You say possessive as if it's a bad thing," it's said teasingly.

That earns him a bunch of, "Ooohs," from Elias's friends. The hipster man gulps down his beer and nods his head.

"If he ever gets too much for you…"

Seth shakes his head, he will never leave Roman. For anyone, especially Elias—the guy's a great friend but nothing else. "You need to learn that you can't fight for everything."

"I beg to differ. I have a winner mindset, pretty boy. If your boyfriend ever screws up…"

"I don't know why we're discussing my relationship, Elias. This is a study session."

"We're studying your boyfriend," Sasha jokes.

"Then don't expect to get the study material from me," he tells her.

Everyone breaks out in laughs, Bo moving from across his seat to fist bump Seth. "Don't let the nosy vultures get to you Seth. They're just jealous because you and Roman are couple of the year."

Bo's still grinning sweetly at him and Seth arches an eyebrow in confusion but decides against asking what Bo's talking about. It's probably going to be a weird response he has no care for that he'll get anyway.

The pizza is left unfinished by the time they're done with their study session. It's 06:45 PM and John left with the intimidating Braun long ago so it's Roman who's fetching him. Seth helps take the empty boxes from Elias's and Sasha's pizzas to the bin. Despite being little, Sasha eats for ten people. He isn't exaggerating, the purple-haired mocha skinned woman ate two full pizzas all on her own, not even sharing one with her boyfriend.

Bo remains with him and Elias after Sasha and Finn leave. Seth's grateful that Bo's with them, a huge part of him knows Roman will overreact if it's just him and Elias in the hipster's house. But he has a fleeting suspicion Elias would try his luck too, the man doesn't give up. Seth sees it every time they're in class or around each other. The man still flirts with him—a lot. And he's also very touchy but Seth ensures it doesn't border on inappropriate. He has a boyfriend and his body belongs to him, his whole body is for Roman's pleasure.

His skin heats up because every naughty thing they did and said is playing so vividly in his mind. He wouldn't have tried a lot of those things out if he hadn't talked to Dean. It's his ginger friend who advised him to try a few things to get Roman hung up on him all day. It's not like Roman wasn't before but Seth will admit that the added spice makes him feel sexier and confident. In his body and in his sexuality. Roman's been calling him the whole day, more so than usual and Seth isn't even going to get started on the texts. He's been getting messages every five minutes—he's not even exaggerating. Even Elias and his friends picked up on it.

A new message from Roman tells him that his boyfriend's outside. Seth packs his things, he's putting his laptop away when there's a knock on Elias's door. He knows it's Roman so he puts his laptop away, eyes connecting with his home when he looks up. And the warmth he finds in Roman's eyes makes him forget about everyone else. He's consumed by his boyfriend's powerful aura when Roman stands in front of him. Seth has an urge to wrap his arms around Roman's neck so he does. He's like an octopus as he enwraps his arms around Roman, "Hey Daddy," the words are whispered. Roman's smirk make his knees feel like jello.

"So we're still on with the kink, huh?" the bastard sounds so smug.

"Shut up and kiss me." There are no words to accurately describe how good Roman's kisses feel. Seth can say Roman kisses like he's drowning and he's his air or that his kissea are hot and desperate and bruising. He can also say that Roman kisses are dominant—hard and demanding. Roman kisses like he's entitled—to his lips, his body, his soul. Roman's kisses are soul awakening, they revive and bring out parts of his soul he didn't know existed. But for Seth, the only word to sum up the royal's kisses is loving. He knows that now—even when the man's punishing in his kisses, he's still loving.

"Mhm…" Seth knows it's Bo who's clearing his throat. He accepts one final peck on the lips and steps away from Roman, giving Bo his attention. "You guys looked hot as hell!" The man's gawking.

"That's something the ginger one would say," Roman looks at Seth in amusement.

"His name's Dean," Seth rolls his eyes.

Roman takes his bag, a graceful smile etching his face as he looks at Bo, "I enjoyed seeing you again, please greet the boyfriend for me?"

Bo's already nodding his head in a cute way only he can manage, Seth sees Xavier in him at the moment. "He'll be _so_ happy. We are your biggest fans, I even came up with a ship name for you two. Mr. Anoa'i, your clan name is Reigns and Seth's surname is Rollins. So I kind of mixed the two if you get what I'm saying. So your ship name is Rolleigns. It's cute, right?"

Seth can tell Roman's as lost as him but at least he has a polite grin on his face, "I love it. Don't you, alofagia?"

"Mhm, totally." Seth agrees. He does like it, it has a nice ring to it.

"I should write fan fiction on you two, you make a hot sight."

"We need to leave, I have that, uh, thing, I need to take you to alofagia."

Seth plays along, "Yes! I'll see you on Friday, Bo. Invite Curtis so we can all hang out, yeah?"

"Alright, alright. I'll go find Elias, he just disappeared." Bo smiles one final time, giving a little wave to both of them.

"You attract very weird friends," Roman says once they're in the car. The drive back home will be longer than normal, Elias stays about an hour and thirty minutes away from Roman's.

"They're just drawn to me. I can't help it that people love me," Seth sticks his tongue out at Roman.

"None of them will ever love you like I do."

Seth knows he's serious, it's how Roman is sometimes. They'll be joking or talking about something lighthearted and he'll turn serious and profess his love for him, it's one of the many endearing things about him. "It's the same for me," their eyes connect at a red light, "I love you and no one else can ever love you like I do."

Roman gets that smile that has the ability to make the stars fall, it takes Seth's breath away. "Tell me about your day, Seth."

***

He's been getting better at this 'boyfriend instincts' thing since they've come back from Tampa. It's the reason that Seth finds himself waking up in the middle of the night, barely surprised that the space beside him is empty. It's 02:30 and they went to bed about two hours ago so and a feel of the cool bedsheets tell him that it hasn't been that long that Roman's been awake. It's still warm with his body heat and the man could've left the bedroom ten minutes before Seth awoke.

Seth sighs, he's a bit tired, mainly because they had so much sex before they went to sleep and now he's awake again. His feet touch the floor, he lifts off the bed slowly, right hand clutching his sore back. All this sex is going to cripple him one of these days or maybe it's going to cripple him today. He opens the bedside drawer and retrieves the condom. If it's like that night, then he needs to be prepared...

The door to the indoor gym is opened so he just enters, it's dark and the only source of light comes from the full moon reflecting through the endless glass walls. Roman's inside the boxing ring, naked, obviously. His grunts are the only sound in the quiet gym as the man takes out his frustrations on the large punching bag in the middle of the ring. He's already dripping in sweat and he looks so primal that Seth would drool if he weren't concerned about the man's well-being at the moment.

"No, no, no." the words are whispered hoarsely when Seth pulls Roman away from the punching bag from behind. "It's c-cold. N-Need to get w-warm." The royal stutters.

 _So it is like that night_. Luckily he's brought the equipment. Seth makes Roman face him, his eyes are dark and haunted and he keeps complaining about the cold like he did three days ago. The cotton robe Seth's wearing falls at his feet and he hugs Roman close, bare bodies touching. He knows he's warm enough and that Roman will be drawn to it. Large hands begin to wander his body and they both fall on the ground of the boxing ring.

Seth knows Roman isn't completely himself as the bigger man enters his body and hopes that Roman's used the condom he put in his hand. He can't be sure because he's trying to focus on his breathing to regulate his pain. Roman's moving in and out of him, using his body to fight yet another bad dream he had. He doesn't know what they're about but Seth knows they have something to do with the cold but Roman is adamant on not sharing those ones. They're too painful he says.

Seth bites down on his lips, in an attempt to suppress his cries. This sex is always the hardest, it's always rougher. Like it is now with Roman's hands digging into his skin, marking his waist, his wrists, his neck. Pain shoots through his lower back with every hard thrust and he knows even the slightest movement in the morning will be problematic.

He arches into Roman, a scream tearing out of him when large hands grip his hair in a painful hold. The royal's deep rough thrusts become uncoordinated. He closes his eyes, lips bitten hard, when Roman holds him in place by his hair as he finally cums. Seth folds his arms around Roman's neck, hugging him so tight he can feel the royal's abnormal heartbeat.

Roman's still shivering on top of him so Seth juggles (with great difficulty) his way out of the tight hold Roman has him in. Immediately he does that, Roman folds in on himself in a fetal position. Seth grabs the bathrobe he was wearing and goes back to his boyfriend. The bathrobe doesn't cover much of their bodies but anything to make Roman feel warmer. He kisses a sweaty forehead and hugs the man close, hoping that he won't wake up alone in the morning.

Since Tampa, Roman's had these episodes twice now and on both occasions Seth's woken up alone. Roman avoids him for a full day when this happens, he isn't sure why. It could be the guilt of seeing the bruises on his skin the following day or it could be so the royal can avoid talking about what it is exactly that's making him so cold and what those specific dreams entail.

"Please come back," the words are cried out by a sleeping Roman, "O-Okay, okay. C-Can I come with you? _Please Tyler,"_ the tears are falling freely now. The cries that never cease to crush Seth's heart leave Roman's lips. He keeps begging in this dream, asking Tyler to leave with him. "No, don't do it. Please Tyler, don't kill—NO!" the cries deepen, worse than before. They're cries of utter sadness and anguish.

Seth can't take it anymore, his own eyes threaten to let the heavy liquid fall down his cheeks—hard and heavy like a storm. But he stops them, Roman needs him. "Baby, please wake up. Please wake up Roman," he begs urgently. He leans away from Roman when the royal wakes with a start. The royal breathes deep before releasing his breath, eyes darting around until they find Seth. There's confusion on Roman's eyes at first as they look at each other before they transition into blankness. "Please don't do that," Seth tells him. "You don't have to hide from me, Roman."

Roman shakes his head, another heavy breath leaves him. "I'm sorry."

Seth's not sure to which part but he still nods his head, "It's okay."

"I wish you didn't have to deal with this Seth," Roman's hands cover his face and he rubs on it so hard, Seth is tempted to move his hands away. "You know what's worse? I want to tell you so badly that you don't have to stay. I want to tell you that you can leave. But I'm too selfish, Seth. I can't stand to lose you. I can't stand to watch you walk away from me."

"I _don't_ want to walk away from you. I am in love with you and I am strong for you Roman. I'm here and I want you with all the broken pieces. I don't care how tainted they are. I'll be right beside you, picking them up with you. And once we've collected all of them, we'll clean them together and mend them. Me and you. I love you, Roman. I love you so, so much." He whispers into the royal's ear.

Roman sighs deeply, tickling Seth with his breath, "I love you too Seth."

"I know, I'm so loveable. I'd be surprised if you didn't love me." He gets the chuckle he wanted, even though it has a hint of exhaustion. "Let's go to bed, Rome." He's not sure where the nickname comes from but it feels so goddamn right. _My Rome._

 Roman hugs him close, Seth bares his neck, allowing the man to seek comfort in his scent, "Can we stay a little while longer? You're consuming me."

Seth wants to nod his head but Roman's still hiding in his neck so he remains silent and allows Roman to be consumed by him and all the love he's feeling for him. _I'm right here, I want you and I love you._ He hopes his heartbeat reveals the words that play over and over again in his cardiovascular organ--like a broken record. He hopes they swallow Roman whole and shelter him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can I just say I'm not responsible for the amount of times these two have sex and their dirty talk. It's all on them, really. LOL. Thoughts?


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol, so I had to trick my mom into using the internet because well, parents. And I'm sorry for taking quite a while to update but please enjoy, thank you.

"And we have here, the space for the little ones," Seth enters the large room and observes it's beauty. It's the perfect space for a bunch of kindergartners. He notes happily that the interior designer used gender neutral colors to decorate the large room—the wallpaper is a light orange color and the whole space is jungle themed. Colorful interlocking Foam Play Mats are tiled to the floor. Different animals are painted across the walls and fluffy stuffed animals and toys sit neatly on one corner of the children's room. "We've added two oakwood bookshelves, they're already packed with children's books. And over there is the learning space."

Seth follows Leonie's line of sight, looking at the different learning charts and colored tables and chairs. Near the space are yellow and green beanbags, and the bookcases are decorated in a white and gold zigzag design. They are filled beautifully with children's books and a few shaped toys keep the books company. Seth inspects the framed pictures on the wall, messy has never looked so beautiful. "The kids drew them," Leonie explains when she spots his line of sight.

A lone tear cascades down Seth's cheek, everything is just so perfect and he can only imagine how happy the children will be when they spot this playroom. He can't help the hug he gives to the project manager Roman hired. "Leonie, this is all so beautiful. You guys clearly put in a lot of effort into this and these kids, I can't wait to meet them. I have no words, thank you."

"What you and Roman are doing, not a lot of people would do. And all this is for a good cause, these people don't deserve something mediocre. It's why we're putting our heart into everything we're doing," the small lady accepts another hug from Seth. It's a teddy bear hug this time, Seth squeezes Leonie's portable body into his arms. He can't help it, he's so happy about how the sex workers' foundation has been progressing. The room they're currently examining will serve as the children's playroom/learning center for when the little ones' parents attend presentations and lectures on entrepreneurship and self-empowerment.

They leave the room, and take a left down the hallway. Leonie stops at a large turquoise glass door that slides open as soon as it detects them. The room's much larger than the previous one, the walls are a beautiful bright blue color and the décor in the large room coordinate the blue theme. There's three bookshelves this time, two made of dark blue oakwood and one white. There are gold beanbags scattered here and there and mahogany furniture that's more suitable for young adults. Seth goes to one of the bookshelves, a few fluffy owls sit on the books serving as decoration. It's all really creative and cozy. He scans a few of the authors' names spotting names like Neil Gaiman, Phillip Pullman and Cassandra Clare, to mention a few.

"We thought it would be perfect for a bunch of adolescents. This will serve as a library more than anything. It's cozy enough to host counselling sessions too, and those can be hosted over that space there…" Leonie trails off and points to a section where different colored beanbags are placed so that they make a circle. Leonie's team really took the time to plan everything out and the beauty of it all makes Seth's eyes water. He blinks away the tears and clears his throat, nodding his head gently.

"Thank you so much, Leonie. I'm sure everyone will be pleased when they see how beautiful this whole building is."

"It's a pleasure, Mr. Rollins. Follow me, I'll show you the playgrounds." Seth complies, they take the exit leading to the back of the large building and fresh air whips past them immediately they're outside. The playgrounds are fairly large, Seth spots a basketball court a distance away from the children's slides that fill the area. Rainbow colors flood the play area, Seth feels like he's entered a colorful wonderland. The grass appears to be manicured, there's a few sitting areas, rainbow treehouses and a canteen. Seth hopes their menu will be a healthy one, he'll have to discuss that with Roman. "You can try a few out if you want to."

Seth's hesitant in his footsteps as he heads towards the swings. He hasn't done this in a while but he supposes it doesn't matter, using a swing doesn't require much intelligence. He swings back and forth for a while, enjoying the air that whips past him with each slide causing his brunet hair to fly in every direction. He feels like an innocent four year old all over again, his eyes have closed and his inner child wants to scream in elation. And so he does. A high pitched, "Wooohooo!" sounds above the sounds of a windy Thursday afternoon. He distantly hears Leonie laughing and joins in on it, an adrenaline is rushing through him making him feel so free and so…innocent—oblivious to the world and the complications it comes with.

"It's quite freeing, isn't?"

Seth opens his eyes, Leonie is in the swing beside him. "I feel like I'm flying, " he laughs, increasing the force of his swinging. "My hair is cramping my style though."

Leonie's tickled by Seth's words, "Come on, I'll get you a hair tie."

Seth leaves the swings with her but declines the offer of a hair tie. He left it untied on purpose, to hide the bruises on his neck. He wore a turtleneck to effectively cover the hand imprints but his flowing hair serves as added insurance. The marks are bad but it doesn't hurt too bad so he'll survive.

"One of the ex-prostitutes, Eloise, was going to join us. Share her story with you but her little one got sick so we'll do it next time."

"I understand. I hope it's nothing too serious with her child though."

Leonie shakes her head, "She mentioned a stomach bug, but I don't think it's that bad. Oh, and you can ask Roman to brief you about security. He's hired a few that you've met, some of them are former sex workers but we'll still hire more. And I think Tamina is handling the issue of the nannies and caregivers."

After Leonie grabs her bag from one of the offices in the building, they both leave together, passing greetings to the two security guards outside Lion Heart's doors. Yes, they've come up with a name for the sex workers' foundation. He actually came up with it, and he chose the name because what the sex workers are doing takes bravery. To leave the 'comfortability' (for lack of a better word) of the lifestyle that you're used to and to venture into something completely different is scary. But this will benefit not only them but their families too. It takes bravery to decide to break free from the 'broken family' curse, which Seth will admit is prevalent in the prostitution world.

Roman's Bentley Bentayga is parked outside, leaving Seth pleasantly surprised. He isn't sure what the man's doing here because he's supposed to be at work. Leonie is with him as he walks towards an unreadable Roman. The small eccentric woman gives Roman a fist bump, "Your Highness…" she trails off, voice sweet as honey.

"I hope you've made him happy, Leo." Roman says, giving Leonie a stern look.

"Of course I did. I'm the best in the game, Roman. You know that."

"Alofagia?" Roman's attention goes to Seth.

"It's true, I love everything from the auditoriums to the kids space, the playgrounds, just everything…"

Large arms wrap around him, squeezing him but not too hard. Seth breathes his man in, parting from the embrace with a small peck to Roman's lips. "I'm happy you love it, Seth. All this wouldn't be happening if it weren't for you and your bravery. You lion heart."

"I hate to break the love party but I can tell I'm about to third wheel so I gotta bounce," Leonie pats Roman's shoulder and gives Seth a small grin before leaving.

"I thought John and Braun were fetching me," Seth tells Roman once they're both in the car.

"I want us to have lunch together," Roman begins the drive to wherever he's taking them.

"Okay, I can do lunch." Seth cranks up the volume in the car, "Lana Del Rey?"

"I settled on any station."

"Xavier would probably be singing sassily if he were here right now. He loves her."

"It's not really my style but she has a beautiful voice. I'll give her bonus points for singing about me though."

Seth looks at Roman, his boyfriend's eyes have not once left the road. "Really? I must've missed that part."

"No, you didn't. She said 'You can be the boss daddy'. She's saying I can be the boss but I'd much rather hear you say that…it'll sound sexier falling off your lips while I'm fucking you." The royal bastard spares him a brief glance, the corner of his lips lifting into a smirk.

"Forget it," Seth rolls his eyes, "I won't add to your inflated ego."

Roman laughs heartily, it's infectious that Seth joins in on it. He has a smile on his lips as Roman grabs his hand, placing a soft kiss on his knuckles before going back to driving. A comfortable silence ensues, the only sound in the car coming from the radio. The station is really good, they play a variety of songs and Seth recognizes one or two heavy metal tracks.

"I was thinking that maybe I should get on the pill," Seth breaks the silence. He's surprised at the words leaving his lips. His mind's rushed to his mouth. He hadn't meant to utter them now, he was saving this topic for later on at home but his mouth is clearly impatient. Roman is yet to say anything so Seth continues, "I-I was going to tell you at home. And I think it's a good idea Roman, especially on _those_ nights. Who knows if you'll always remember to use a condom? I can get John to take me to a health center."

"I'll take you. Do you want to do it today?"

Seth nods yes, "After lunch?"

"Yes. I'll take you to Nia's hospital."

Lunch is done at a Cuban restaurant, it's lighthearted as they debate over which city makes the best Cuban sandwiches. Seth is adamant that Tampa makes the best, he even gives Roman a whole history of how the sandwich was born in Ybor City as a result of Cubans, Italians and other nationalities working in Ybor back in the early 20s when the cigar industry was booming. Roman surrenders eventually and agrees to Seth's proposition of taking him to taking him to one of the restaurants that makes the best Cuban sandwiches in Tampa.

Roman's phone rings, interrupting the peacefulness. "It's Naomi." He tells Seth who nods his head, giving Roman the go-ahead to answer his phone. "Nae…"

Seth wants to wipe the frown knitting Roman's eyebrows away. The man's lips are pursed together and Seth hopes it's nothing bad that Naomi's saying.

"Did you inform her teachers?" The frown is gone, a sigh escaping Roman's lips before he nods his head. "Okay, I'll do it. I'll tell him, bye Nae." Roman's phone goes to his pants pocket. He signals for the waiter that had been serving them. "Naomi says hi…" Seth nods his head and waits for Roman to continue, he knows the man has something else to say. "She wants me to fetch Leilani."

"Oh? Where's Jimmy?"

"At work, most likely. Nah, scratch that—those two want to do something together and decided to abandon me with their daughter."

Seth laughs, "I see right through you. You want to spend time with the little creature and I wouldn't mind seeing her again too."

Roman guides Seth outside the restaurant. "You caught me. The first stop is to the hospital and then we'll head to her school after, I'm sure she'll be just as happy to see you."

***

"Gah, fuck my life!" Seth sighs loudly once they're out of Dr. Baldwin's office. The doctor had helped him decide which contraceptive pill would be best for him and he's fine with it. Seth just doesn't like the fact that the damn pill has side effects and that he'll probably suffer from them. "I appreciate that this whole thing is so effective and all. Less than 1 in 100 male carriers fall pregnant each year if they use the pill exactly as directed which means it's like 99.99℅ effective and that's really great. But do I have to suffer the side effects? Nausea, dizziness, weight _gain_ or _loss._ Ugh, the list goes on and on. You better support me through these damn effects."

Roman has a broad grin on his face when Seth looks at him. "What is it?" he asks even though he has a feeling that Roman is about to say something dumb.

"I'll get to fuck you raw—in more ways than one."

Seth sighs, of course that's the only thing Roman got…..

"Yeah, I guess you will." The look on Roman's face tickles him, his boyfriend looks like a little kid on Christmas morning. "You're such a child sometimes."

"I find that offensive." Roman shakes his head. "You ever seen a child as old as me? I believe the word you're looking for is Daddy, alofagia."

"My daddy who behaves like a child sometimes," Seth protests mildly when he's brought to a hard chest. Roman's wandering hands grip his ass firmly before the royal squeezes both round buns possessively. Seth wraps his arms around Roman's neck, his lips welcoming lush lips when the royal leans down to kiss him. His arms remained interlocked behind Roman's neck when they pull back. The heated look in Roman's eyes makes his nether regions throb and Seth has to shake his head to clear his lust fogged mind.

Nia is looking at them in interest when Seth averts his gaze from Roman. The last time he saw her, he was jealous that she was hugging Roman. Of course Nia doesn't know that but Seth's cheeks still heat up, making him want to hide behind Roman. "He's like a cute puppy," the curvy doctor laughs. _Great._ The intimidating woman thinks he's a cute _puppy._ What does she even mean? Seth unconsciously grabs Roman's right hand and entwines it with his left.

"Cousin, it's been a while." Roman's deep voice has a smile in it. "You guys have met before although back then, Seth wanted to murder me for 'injuring' him. I still think it was his fault though."

"No, it wasn't!" Seth glares at his boyfriend, " _You_ pulled my arm too roughly and caused me to fall."

"Of course, I did." The bastard's being sarcastic. Seth wants to smack Roman's silly smile away but he doesn't, they're in a public space and need to behave.

"Pftt, childish ass."

Roman has a fixed stare and it's all focused on him. The man looks at him as if he is a sight to behold and of course his heart reacts—Seth can feel it's unrhythmic beat. It's so loud, he fears that Roman and Nia can hear it. An arched eyebrown thrown his way makes him shrug gently. Roman's beam lights up his world, the royal turns his attention to his cousin. The hand that was entwined with Seth's moves to the small of the brunet's back, squeezing his side gently. "Nia, meet Seth Rollins—love of my life."

No he didn't.

 _Yes, he did,_ his mind screams at him. _'Keep your emotions intact. Don't cry Seth'_ it's a mental lecture Seth repeats in his head. He's beginning to think Roman loves doing and saying things that turn him into an emotional duck. The man sounded so serious and so genuine….

Nia breaks him out of his ruminating by embracing him into an unexpected hug. "He's _finally_ found someone." Seth's arms fold around her waist, Nia's hug feels so good. She feels so warm and smells so good, he's tempted to breathe her in but refrains from doing so. "So you're the one who's been keeping him away from me."

"N-No. It's not like th—"

Nia cuts him off with a laugh, "I'm joking Seth. I know how addictive the early stages of a relationship are. Welcome to our family."

Seth melts at Nia's words. Family. For most of his childhood, he didn't have one. He'd only felt the love of a family when he met Dean and Xavier. And now he's being surrounded by it through Roman. Everyone of Roman's family he's met have been so friendly and so welcoming and loving. It's the vibe he gets from Nia as well, although, at first glance the woman is intimidating. "T-Thank you," his voice cracks and he has to clear his throat. Getting emotional will only embarrass him, especially in a place like this.

"I want to get all the details about this whole love story _,_ " Nia bumps shoulders with Seth and waggles her eyebrows. "We should do coffee, just me and you. I don't want him bullying you into portraying him a gentleman when he's actually a shithead." Seth nods in agreeance, a grin painting his thin lips. He can hear Roman's low grumbling, it only tickles him harder causing him to laugh out loud.

"Take my number." Nia says. Seth takes his phone out, unlocks it and gives it to the curvy doctor. "We'll plan a date over the phone."

"We need to get going, cousin. Naomi…she's dumped Leilei with me again."

"And you're over the moon, stop pretending that you're not," Nia says knowingly.

Parting words are exchanged before Seth and Roman leave the hospital. "She's so kind."

Roman pulls out of the parking lot, beginning the drive to Leilani's school. "I know, I would've married her if we weren't cousins."

"Excuse me?" Seth nails Roman with a hard look.

"You're excused."

Ugh, the things he has to deal with….

Seth rolls his eyes, "You really are worse than a child."

"And you are loved by this man who is worse than a child."

That melts his heart…..

"And you'll love me through the potential weight problems?" the royal looks confused so Seth elaborates, "One of the side effects is weight gain or loss. There's a possibility that it could happen."

Roman spares him a brief glance, his lips stretching into that smile that has the ability to make the stars fall at his feet. "Weight gain, I can deal with. It'll only enhance your beauty."

Seth cuts his eyes at his boyfriend, "And I wouldn't be beautiful if I looked like a stick?"

"You would but you'd look better thicker, your ass especially." The bastard smirks and gives Seth a wink.

"I can't even bring myself to fight you." Seth sighs, "You're hopeless."

Roman cracks up in amusement, "You know I'm kidding, alofagia. I don't care how you look, I'll still love you regardless. It won't matter to me whether you're thick or thin. It's what's on the inside that I'm attracted to, your beauty is a bonus."

The charming bastard! Seth has no words, a tender grin pulls at his lips and he rewards Roman with a kiss to his knuckles before allowing his man to focus on the road completely.

A mop of curly brown hair flashes in line of Seth's sight before a little body clings to his leg. Seth looks down, meeting innocent brown eyes. He picks the little girl up, embracing her into his arms. Leilani squirms and giggles when he kisses all over her face, apparently his beard is tickling her. "Did you miss me, unca Seth?" Leilani asks, her tiny arms tightening around Seth's neck. A light pain shoots through him but Seth ignores it.

"Of course, I did sweetheart. Did you miss me too?"

"Yes, I did! I did!" Leilani's arms still haven't moved from around Seth's neck.

"But you don't visit me…" Seth complains lightly.

"I'm visiting you now," he sets the little girl on her feet. Roman gets a small shrug as Seth allows a tiny five year old to drag him to the back of the car. "Are you sick unca Seth?"

Seth looks at Leilani in perplexion, "No, little creature."

Leilani giggles at the nickname, "Then why are you wearing a polo-neck? You're not feeling cold, are you?"

Kids and their questions….

Roman clears his throat, Seth connects with blank brown eyes on the rearview mirror. Leilani is oblivious to the tension growing between Seth and her uncle. The smaller man turns his attention to her, she's blinking her big brown eyes at him, eyebrow raised exactly like Roman's does. "I just felt like wearing this today, sweetheart. It's cool, right?"

"It would've been cooler in black. Do you have black polo-necks?"

"Plenty," Seth smiles at her, grateful for the change of topic. "Black is my favorite color."

Leilani's face lights up, "Me too, unca Seth! Mommy says girls like pink and she buys me a lot of pink clothes, eugh. Daddy and I tell her that not all girls like pink, I'm here and I like black. I'm a girl, aren't I?"

"Yes, you are."

Leilani nods her head as if someone _finally_ gets her point. "You see, unca Seth, girls can like black too. And toy guns and cars and ducks. Ducks are my favorite though."

"Like your uncle," a smile forms on thin lips. He looks at Roman as he says the words but of course the tension is still there so Roman isn't meeting his gaze. A quiet exhale leaves Seth, his attention goes to the little girl who's talking about what he's missed since the last time he saw her.

They arrive at the mansion forty-five minutes later and Roman excuses himself, claiming that he has to call Manuia. He left his briefcase at work and he has a meeting at four that Manuia will have to attend on his behalf. Seth guides little Leilani into the kitchen to make her lunch. He's not sure where Masina is but he'll make Leilani a simple Tuna Club Sandwich. He takes out the ingredients he'll need and gives Leilani a glass of juice when she asks for it.

"You're really cool unca Seth. You give me everything I ask for and you make me lunch. That's good behavior, right?"

"I think so," Seth places the plastic plate with the Tuna Club sandwiches on the counter.

"I think it is too." Leilani speaks without swallowing and Seth would frown but he does it too. He can't be a hypocrite. "My teacher says good behavior is rewarded. Do you want me to reward you with a picture?"

His heart melts in tenderness, "I would very much love that, sweetheart…wait! Finish your food, first." He tells her when she attempts to get off her stool. "And don't get off that stool without asking for my help, you could get hurt."

The little girl nods her head sheepishly, "Sorry."

A gentle kiss is placed on her forehead, "Don't let it happen again, little creature."

Seth listens to Leilani as she babbles about how her day was at school. He clears up the mess in the kitchen, rinsing the cutlery he used. Roman's leaning against the doorway when Seth turns away from the sink. He's changed into a pair of black sweatshorts and nothing else. He's hot like he always is but Seth thinks he looks way too tense.

"All done!" Leilani's small voice breaks their staring contest. Seth's attention goes to her, realizing that her plate is now empty. He helps her off her chair, his eyes barely keeping up with her running feet as she skids past Roman to work on that picture she wanted to draw.

A large body entraps him against the sink, increasing Seth's unsteady heartbeat. The staring contest begins again and Seth's hands move to rest on either side of Roman's shoulder. "I love you."

Okay, he wasn't expecting Roman to say that but he still beams brightly. "And I love you, so much."

"I didn't mean to—" Roman clears his throat, unable to finish.

"I know," Seth gives the royal a gentle kiss on the lips.

"I mean it Seth. I really didn't mean to hurt you."

"I know." Seth repeats. "I just wish you'd talk to me…about these specific dreams. I'm not forcing you too though," he adds the last part when Roman's eyebrows pull into a frown. It's wishful thinking on his end to think that Roman would want to tell him about the 'cold' dreams. He wonders if Roman's ever told anyone about them. He wonders if Manuia knows. Maybe he should go to him, the man seems to have a closer relationship to Roman than anyone else.

"Maybe I'll tell you one day Seth. Right now, I can't," the royal sighs and rests his hands on Seth's waist. "But when Tyler killed himself, he killed a part of me too. He took a part of me that I'll never get back Seth."

"Have you considered seeing someone? I think it could—"

"No," Roman cuts him off, tone firm.

"Bottling things on the inside is never the solution, Roman. Talk to someone, a therapist maybe—"

"I said no, Seth!" Roman's voice lifts slightly and his eyes close, the man is clearly trying to compose himself. His eyes are lighter when they open and he lets out a low breath. "I'm sorry for lifting my voice but I am not going to see a shrink _,_ Seth _._ I've been doing fine all along."

"That's what you think," Seth mutters under his breath. He doesn't think Roman's heard him because the royal pulls him to him by gripping the back of his neck gently to place a kiss on his forehead. It causes Seth to sigh and gives him bravery to try again, "Can you at least think about it?"

"I will," it's said dismissively before Seth feels a hard kiss against his lips. He returns it, just as hard, moaning softly when Roman's tongue glides against his.

Their foreheads rest against each other, breaths mingling from their still parted lips. "I love you Roman and I really hope that you think about my suggestion. You won't just be doing it for yourself but for our relationship too. You overcoming your past will mean that it won't get in the way of what we have now."

"I'll consider it," Seth swears he hears a hint of impatience in Roman's voice but Leilani comes barging in the kitchen before he can say anything else.

"I'm done unca Seth! Look, look, look…" Leilani gets in between Roman and Seth, shoving a white paper into Seth's hands. The brunet takes the picture, observes it, heart melting in love at it's artistic beauty. "Do you like it?"

"I love it." Seth smooches Leilani's flawless caramel skin. "We have a talented one in our hands, Rome." He gives the drawing to an all smiling Roman.

"It's you and I," Roman's expression reveals just how hard he's melting. "Who do the dogs belong to?"

"Unca Seth loves dogs like me. He'll have a lot and a lot of dogs." Leilani explains. "Oh, ducks! I forgot to draw the children. How many children do you want unca Seth?"

The question's caught Seth off guard, his eyes find Roman's. He'd looked in time to see something flash in the royal's eyes but it left before he could decipher what it is. "Uh, one?"

"No, that's too little. I can't play with one person. Make it four, please? Two boys and two girls that way if I want to play with girls, I can. And if I don't want to, then I can play with the boys and the girls will keep each other company."

Seth doesn't know how to respond to that and Roman's turned into a mute. "Okay, sweetheart. Four kids alright?"

The response makes the bouncy ball of energy happy, Leilani jumps up and down in joy, her curls falling all over her face. She takes her drawing from Seth, shouting, "I gotta add the kids!" as she runs back to the living room.

"You could've helped out," Seth tells his boyfriend, poking a hard shoulder playfully. "I've just been bullied into having four kids by a five year old." Roman doesn't answer, his aura makes Seth feel uneasy and he doesn't know why. "Roman, are you okay?"

"Yes," Seth doesn't believe him. "You won't have four kids Seth, not if I have anything to do with it. I'm expecting a football team."

"Hell no!" incredulity fills Seth's voice. Loud giggles escape him when Roman picks up, laying him on the kitchen island. "Roman wait…" Seth's laugh is fruity. He can feel big hands trailing lightly down his sides to tease the waistband of his shorts. The hands change their course of direction to settle on his upper body, Roman lifts his turtleneck slightly and places a wet kiss close to his navel. Seth sucks in a nervous in take of air, his stomach is acting funny. It keeps rolling in waves in a way that feels so good.

Roman's lips continue down his happy trail and Seth releases a strangled moan, hands massaging the bigger man's black tendrils. Every bone in his body screams against it when he releases a throaty, "Roman, stop. Leilani is in the living room, she could come in here any minute."

He thinks Roman will disobey because for a while the royal doesn't stop, he kisses and sucks on supple skin. But the man pulls back just as soft patters sound in the direction of the kitchen. Seth's sits up straight and pulls his turtleneck down when Leilani comes into view. "All done, unca Seth!" A little voice shouts.

Seth jumps off the island and accepts Leilani's drawing. 'Family' the caption reads. The drawing features Roman, him, lots of dogs and six little stick children. What's happened to him having only four? Seth smiles at the kindergartner's spelling—it's not too bad for a five year old. He shows the picture to Roman who's eyes light up. His boyfriend crouches in front of the little girl and he enwraps her little body into his imposing one. The look of utter joy on Roman's face does something to him and he just briefly pictures a different setting. For a brief second, Seth entertains the thought of having a family with the man he loves.

But there's a reason he's getting on the pill, they're both not ready for children. It hasn't even been a month and there's so many things they need to work through first. Things Roman is adamant on not sharing—to anyone. "We'll frame this in our bedroom." Seth finds his home looking at him.

He nods his head and snuggles into a strong chest. A tender kiss touches his lips only to be cut off by Leilani's, "Eew. No kissing, no kissing!"

"But I can't help it, Leilei. I love uncle Seth," Roman tells the little girl.

"No! No kissing, it's disgusting." Leilani's face scrunches up in distaste. "Unca Seth, come watch Donald Duck with me." Seth allows himself to be dragged away from Roman with a grin on his face.

* * *

 

"Alofagia?" Roman says immediately he closes the door to his office.

"Rome," the nickname causes his heart to flutter, he loves it more than Seth will ever know. "Jimmy's acting weird. I just came back home and I find him in the kitchen. He looked like he wanted to eat me alive. I think he was—flirting with me. He even called me…sexy." The words are whispered in befuddlement and his chortles agitate a panicky sounding Seth, "Don't laugh, this is serious! I don't know what's wrong with him. Is he gay? Should I call Naomi? Tell me what to do!"

"No, don't call Naomi and Jimmy is straight. Jey is pansexual though, he fucks anything walking on two legs. That's probably him, I'll fuck him up when I get home," Roman growls. He's certain that it's Jey who's at his house. The man is supposed to be on a plane coming to America like the rest of his family. They're all supposed to be arriving tomorrow but of course, Jey has never abided to instruction. His cousin does whatever he wants, whenever he wants.

"Jey? Jimmy's twin?" Seth asks.

"Yes, he's supposed to be arriving tomorrow. Tell him I said to not fucking touch you. He shouldn't even be in my house."

Seth sighs, "He didn't touch me, hasn't attempted to either but he has sex eyes and those sex eyes kept ogling me. Had to go hide in our bedroom."

"You better not be getting turned on by those fucking sex eyes Seth." Roman grumbles. He knows about Jey's sex eyes all too well, from when they were teenagers. As well as the first person who ever fell for those bloody sex eyes.

"But they're so sexy, babe. And there's thing he does with his lips when he—"

"Excuse me?" there's an anger stirring within him.

"You're excused," it takes him a second. He can hear Seth's even breathing on the other end of the line. The doe eyed brat is getting back at him for yesterday. "Don't ever do that again, Seth. It won't end well," he warns but Seth pays no mind to the warning. The brunet is laughing his ass off and somewhere into it, Roman finds himself joining in on it. "And you call me a child."

"You're not just a child, you're a jealous brute too."

"You got it right at brute, that's what you were yelling this morning when I was fucking you."

He can't see it but Roman knows Seth is rolling his eyes. "I can't be held accountable for what I say during sex, daddy. Half the time I don't even know what I'm screaming."

"That's what a great dicking down does to you, alofagia." He sounds way too smug, but Roman can't bring himself to care.

"Pfft, whatever. I should get back to your cousin, I don't want him thinking I'm weird—or rude. I just ran away from him. Gosh, I'm so embarrassed."

"Jey's cocky ass will probably think that you ran away because you're into him but too scared to talk to him."

"So cockiness runs in the family?"

"Of course, there's definitely a lot of _cock_ in our family." He sounds smug again.

"You know what, I'm not even doing this. Bye." Their conversation ends without his permission. Roman calls Seth, it rings twice before the brunet answers, "What?"

"I love you."

The line is silent for a second before he gets a quiet, "I love you too, Roman."

"You can hang up now," he tells Seth.

He knows that Seth is again rolling his eyes, the smaller man does that a lot. "You're an idiot." Seth disconnects call with a tiny laugh.

Roman places his phone on his desk before deciding to go back to work. He reads over the minutes of the meeting he missed yesterday, making sure to go over every detail before sending an e-mail to Bayley to schedule another meeting with the company's banker. His door opens and he knows it's Manuia, the big man is the only one who ever enters his office without knocking.

"I spoke to the man in charge of the surveillance footage at the park. They still have it, luckily."

Those are great news. Roman gives Manuia his attention, wide grin spreading his lips. "Really?"

"Yup, I've asked them to send it. You'll get it tomorrow."

"Thank you, brother."

Manuia sits his ass on the chair across from Roman, "You're welcome. So what you want to do with it?"

Roman hesitates, unsure on whether or not to tell his bodyguard. Granted, this whole thing he's planning is for Seth and he knows that Manuia isn't the type that can't keep a secret. "We're making it past a month, Manuia. This Tuesday, it will be a month that Seth Rollins agreed to giving me a chance. I want to make it special for him."

Manuia gives him a look that causes Roman to look away from him in mild embarrassment. The big man looks like a proud parent and it's too much for the royal to take. "Is that why you're bringing the family? Are you going to—"

"Yes, it's tradition." Roman cuts Manuia off. He moves away from his chair to settle on the desk right in front of Manuia. "Don't cry, big men don't cry."

"Well, lookie here, you've just made me cry." Tears swim down Manuia's cheeks when he laughs. "Are you sure about this, Your Highness? You haven't even known each other that long."

"Manuia relax," Roman pats his shoulder, chuckling softly, "I'm not marrying him or anything."

"It's close to it."

"Close but it's still not it, so relax."

"Does he know what you're planning?" Manuia asks.

Roman shakes his head no, "It's all a surprise that I hope Jey won't ruin it. His dumb ass arrived a day early when everyone's supposed to be coming tomorrow."

"Sounds like the Jey I know," Manuia cackles loudly.

Roman sighs, "I don't mind as long as he doesn't ruin things. Ma and Ember will reside at the hotel in Tampa, I don't want Seth to meet them yet. It's a pity father can't come though."

"You know he would've loved to come." Manuia says. "But being King of a country means all the responsibility falls on his shoulders even though he has assistance. I know for a fact that he'd be on his way here too if he weren't busy. Especially since everyone was beginning to think that you'll die a bachelor, like Jey wants to."

"Mhm." Roman considers Manuia's words. His bodyguard's right, most of his family _had_ given up on the prospect of him finding a life partner. His father, the King, had even been considering an arranged marriage for his son as soon as he turned thirty. Because as future King, Roman needs to continue his family's lineage. He needs to give his father and ancestors an heir. And maybe he will, with Seth.

"So tell me more about this surprise anniversary, maybe I can give you a few pointers on how to make it more romantic."

Roman scoffs, "You're just snooping for the details. But fine, I'll tell you, brother."

***

"Do you guys ever stop kissing?" Jey asks as he stares at his cousin suck Seth Rollins' lips off. The pair should be focused on dinner but clearly eating each other's lips is more fulfilling.

Roman's lips detach from Seth's, he glances at his cousin. Jey looks so awkward, his hand holds his fork loosely. "No."

"Isn't tiring, kissing the same lips over and over again?"

"What'd I tell you about him being a man whore?" amusement dances in Roman's eyes as he stares at Seth.

"You forgot proud. A proud man whore," Jey pipes in.

"I don't think you ever tire from kissing the one you love, Jey. If anything, kissing Roman floods me with good feelings." Seth tells Jey.

Jey looks at him like he's crazy, "Uh, if you say so, man."

"You'll see what I mean the day you find someone who you really connect with," Seth smiles.

Masina enters the dining room, collecting the empty plates from everyone. "I've connected with people, man. I connect with a lot of people." Jey smirks.

Seth shakes his head, he gives Roman a frustrated look. "Is he always like this?"

Roman's response is a shrug of the shoulder. "Man whore."

"A proud one."

"No wonder they burn your clothes and wreck your cars," Roman shakes his head.

"I learned from that," Jey says dismissively. "I go for the older ones now. The younger ones behave like they're supposed to—childish and temperamental."

Seth cackles, "I don't even have any words for you."

"Oh, but I have a few for you. I want to make your knees weak."

" _Jey,_ " Roman growls, drawing a chuckling Seth onto his lap.

"What? I didn't do anything."

Jey convinces them into watching a movie in the living room so they settle there and allow Jey to pick a film. It's movie called Split and Roman has to admit that he's left in awe. The main actor's potrayal of the different characters residing in his body is impressive. A little while later, Seth tells them that he's going to retire for the night. Roman brings the smaller man to him, kissing him tenderly. "I'll be there in five, I want to talk to you." Curious doe eyes look up at him. Seth nods his head softly, he gets one final peck on the lips before he heads towards the stairs.

"He's good for you," Roman's eyes move away from a retreating Seth's back to face his cousin.

"I know,"

"You love him."

Roman raises an eyebrow, "I do." It's always so easy to admit his feelings for Seth. It's something that comes so naturally to him, like second nature, because there's no other way around it. He loves Seth Rollins, plain and simple. He can't be blunter than that.

"Well, at least one of us is no longer a bachelor, huh? But I'd stay the hot bachelor a little while longer, being tied down ain't really my thing, you know that."

Jey forgets that Roman can see right through him sometimes. He sees past the whole man whore façade but he won't hurt his cousin by bringing up _his_ name. So he smiles, fist meeting his cousin's for a fist bump, "Yeah, uce. Look, I gotta head to bed. I don't want to keep Seth waiting."

"Cool, man. We're going to hit a few clubs tomorrow. I gotta check out the potential Miami has."

Roman nods his head, it will be futile trying to argue with Jey. He's just as bad as Naomi. "I'll see you in the morning, uce. I love you man."

"Love you too, bro."

"Seth?" the brunet isn't inside the bedroom when Roman enters. The glass door leading to the balcony is open though. Roman removes his t-shirt and shorts, heading to the balcony only in his boxers. He finds Seth, back turned to him as stares at the green of the forest trees. The brunet's hair is untied and flies in every direction. His arms go around Seth's waist, tightening lightly. His heart flutters as Seth immediately leans into him without a second thought, his hands resting on top of Roman's. "Something is bothering you."

Seth sighs, "It's probably nothing."

"Tell me," Roman says sternly.

"Sami called." The words are whispered so softly that Roman strains to hear it.

"Sami, your former landlord?"

"He's still my landlord," Seth says quietly.

"Why did he call Seth?"

"To tell me about—" a deep exhale. "K-Katherine."

He should've known. He can't say he's surprised that Seth hearing about his mom is affecting him. "Your mom?"

Seth shakes his head. "She isn't my mom, she birthed me but she isn't my mom."

Roman nods his head, he isn't going to argue with that. The woman birthed Seth but from all he's read about her so far, she hardly qualifies to be called a mom. She's not worthy of that title. He keeps silent, tightening his arms around Seth's lean form when the brunet snuggles deeper into him. The silence remains for quite some time, he's going to let Seth set the pace. He'll wait until the brunet gets the urge to tell him more.

"She went to my flat, Rome. She went looking for me and I don't know why." Seth chuckles mirthlessly. "Maybe she wanted trick me into thinking she's sober again. I don't want to see her, Roman. I don't know what she wants from me."

"She won't even get to breathe the same air as you, Seth. I won't let her get that close."

Another round of silence ensues, "Sami gave her my cell number a few days ago. She went back to him yesterday, apparently I'm not taking her calls. The drugs must be making her mind hazy. I've never received her calls…and I'm not sure I want to."

Seth's words increase the rapid heartbeat of Roman's cardiovascular but he ignores it. All he'd done was for Seth's well-being. He didn't want the brunet to experience what he went through with the paparazzi calls. "If she ever calls and it upsets you, I want you to block her number. She isn't going to play with your heart, alofagia. I won't allow her to."

Liquid brown eyes look at him when Seth turns in his arms. The brunet's hands settle on his shoulders, "And I don't have to feel bad, right? For not wanting anything to do with her."

Roman shakes his head no, he kisses Seth's forehead and whispers against his skin, "You don't have to feel bad, baby. Family isn't always blood. Your family are those who care for you and want what's best for you. Your family are those who'd choose you without the slightest hesitation. Your family are those who love you. Like Xavier and Dean. Like myself. We all love you and we're your family."

He's rewarded with a gentle kiss on the lips, "Thank you." Seth is like an octopus as he clings to him, his toned legs folding around Roman's waist. "You're my family, Roman. You're my home. And I love you so much."

Roman kisses succulent lips and moves back into the bedroom with Seth still in his arms. He lays the brunet gently on the bed and peels down his tight briefs. "I love you too, alofagia and I'll show you just how much."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	21. Chapter 21

"Hello?" Seth's voice sounds way too happy for a Monday. But it's the effect Roman has on him, it doesn't matter how many times in a day the royal calls him. There's also the fact that his classes ended two hours earlier than usual because the lecturer for his last class didn't pitch up and he's going home at noon. He's having a very bright Monday so far.

"Have I been reduced to the standard greeting everyone gets, alofagia? No babe? Honey, Love? Daddy? Not even a 'hello Roman?' or even better 'Rome?'"

Seth laughs loudly but decides to tone his chuckling down a notch when he meets Braun's kind orbs on the rearview mirror. Braun is the type to mind his business as is John but Seth knows how annoying it is to have someone laughing loudly at something and not knowing what the joke's about. "I'm sorry, let me try again. Hey, daddy. Is everything okay at work?" he's totally not embarrassed for calling Roman 'daddy' in front of his bodyguards.

"I miss you."

Seth hardly gets surprised at how random Roman is anymore. "I miss you too, Rome."

"If I didn't have any back to back meetings after this, I'd be on my way home now. I miss you and I miss your ass."

"You had it this morning," his chuckle is quiet this time.

"I could never have enough of you, Seth. You and your body—I just hold back sometimes. I don't want to cripple you."

Seth rolls his eyes, "How generous of you." The idiot on the other end of the line cackles like a little child.

"We're going out, be ready at six. Let your hair down like you did on our first date."

"That was the _only_ date. You never took me out again, cheapskate!"

He gets another round of child-like cackles, "I'll take you out tonight."

"What are we celebrating?"

"Our love."

The corny ass boyfriend he has…..

"Okay, what should I wear?"

"Your clothes." A sigh leaves Seth's lips. The bastard talking from the other end of the line is still laughing. He has to deal with his excessively happy man today. "I'm sorry alofagia, I don't know what's wrong with me today," the chuckles haven't stopped. "Okay, okay. I'm serious now. Casual wear is fine."

"Okay, I'll be ready…overgrown child."

"You better not be calling me names in John and Braun's presence, alofagia."

"I am."

"I'll punish you later. I have to go Seth, I'll see you at home and I love you."

"I love you too, baby. Wait—so you really like my hair when it's all curly and wild?"

"I do."

Seth smiles, "I'll try and fix it that way more often for you, okay?"

"It's not necessary, Seth. I love you the way you are."

"I love you the way you are too."

The argument on who should hang up first happens almost all the time, but it's Roman who has to surrender this time. Seth hears Bayley tell his man that his meeting is about to begin. Seth opens his messages once Roman hangs up (after a multitude of love declarations). There's multiple ones from Dean, he's been receiving them since last night. His auburn-haired friend hadn't been able to visit this weekend because Antonio came back from Switzerland earlier than expected.

Anyway, back to Dean—the guy's been flooding his phone with messages. Antonio wants them to move in together, apparently, so Dean is shit scared. Seth thinks he's being ridiculous though because Dean is practically leaving with Antonio. Sure, they've been dating less than a year but Seth sees what love is every time he looks at his ginger friend and his boyfriend. Their relationship contrasts Xavier and Randy's—those two have more fun together. What they have started as two people simply having fun together but of course they caught feelings in the end.

And no one keeps Dean grounded like Antonio does. The Swiss man can keep a usually wild Dean on a leash, they just even each other out perfectly. They're perfect for each other, actually. It's the reason why Seth is a bit confused at Dean's hesitance but he has a fleeting suspicion that his friend fears things going wrong. Seth does respond to Dean, however, and gives him whatever advice an inexperienced relationship expert can give. Xavier would be more suited for this, honestly—he's more perceptive and communicates better than him and Dean combined.

Seth grabs his wallet and leaves his bag in the car when they get to Bal Harbour Shops. He tends to stay away from extravagant shopping but he'll make an exception today. He's unsure of how these whole anniversary things work but it's his and Roman's tomorrow. It feels like time went by too fast and it amazes him how so much has happened in the one month that they're making. He'll admit that Roman is imperfect, with the way he behaves sometimes. But the royal can be loving, he's loyal too—to his family and his friends. And when he loves, Roman loves wholeheartedly. It's one of the things Seth loves about him. The royal owns every inch of his soul—and Seth wouldn't have anyone else take his place.

"We'll meet in an hour?" He looks between John and Braun. "I don't know what you guys want to do. Look around if you want to, maybe buy a few items as well?"

"Who will carry your shopping bags?" John asks, face serious as ever.

"I'll carry them myself."

"Are you sure?" John again, a frown knits his eyebrows this time.

"Yes. I'm completely capable of carrying my own bags, John. Besides, I love doing things for myself." He can tell that John would rather he carried out his 'job' but the brawny man gives in and tells Braun to join him as they head to a Japanese restaurant within the mall.

It's his second time at Bal Harbour but the beauty of the open style mall never ceases to steal his breath away. Even though it's hot as fuck, the canopy of palm trees shield him from the sun. He aimlessly walks around, window shopping for a while. The staff at the designer stores are so polite when he enters store after store, looking around. Even though the whole purpose of this trip is to buy Roman a gift, he still finds himself at a Fendi store, looking at the kids collection. He spots a black soft sweatshirt punctuated with a black cat with big round eyes. He looks through the sizes and grabs one that's Leilani's size. He knows she'll love it, it's in her favorite color. He also grabs a black poplin blouse and a denim jacket with planet embroidery on it.

He enters a Goyard boutique next. Roman's briefcases are plain and black—they're the clichéd briefcases businessmen use so Seth decides to buy his plain ass man a trendier one. The briefcase is a gorgeous navy blue color, not loud enough that Roman will decline it. It's intricately designed in soft navy blue fabric making Seth smile, it's definitely not as boring as Roman's briefcases. After paying for the briefcase, he goes to goes to explore another store.

The shopping takes longer than expected so he texts John telling him that he's going to stop at an eatery before meeting them at the mall's parking. He enters a restaurant called Le Zoo, deciding last minute to buy a pizza and beer. After lunch he meets John and Braun at the mall's parking, carrying more shopping bags than he can count. Dean's bad behavior is already rubbing on him—he just spent Roman's cash like some trophy wife.

"You're so stubborn sometimes Seth. We could've helped carry all these bags." John shakes his head in disapproval.

"That would've only brought more attention to me, John. It's bad enough I was being photographed for _shopping._ It would've been worse if I were with you two."

"You should've called us if they were making you uncomfortable," Braun gives Seth an apologetic look. He opens Seth's door for him, causing the brunet to roll his eyes. Braun knows Seth hates it when he does that.

"I can take care of myself, you guys. I would've knocked their lights out if they'd touched me." He means it. Hmm…maybe he should. One of these days he will. He isn't a goddamn celebrity for crying out loud!

"We know. But you also look like a puppy. People find puppies cute, do you really think they'd feel threatened?"

Seth rolls his eyes and rests back on his seat. Nia had called him a puppy too. He's just waiting for these people to provoke him enough to anger him. They'll know his true colors then, he's not a goddamn puppy. "I may look like a puppy but I'll fuck up anyone who messes with me. I can be a pit bull when I want to."

"Yeah…what'd you think Braun?"

"Angry puppy, maybe."

The meatheads guffaw at his expense, Seth wants to punch those silly laughs away. He can't bring himself to be angry at them though. He knows it's all lighthearted and he has times when he teases them too. The only thing that sucks though is that the muscled idiots gang up on him most of the time.

"We'll see you tomorrow Seth." John says after they've helped him bring all of his shopping bags inside the house. He waves and exchanges a few polite words before closing the door.

It's five so he figures he should get ready for when Roman comes home. He still doesn't know where the royal's taking him but he'd received a message from his man telling him he's on his way home. Jey left to Lord knows where a day ago. What Seth's learned about Jey these last few days that he's spent with them is that the guy's a huge party animal. He also takes being a man whore to new heights. On Friday he forced them to go clubbing—dragging them to club after club until Roman eventually put a stop to it, telling Seth they were leaving while Jey remained behind. Seth still isn't sure how the man made it home on Saturday morning but he stumbled inside the breakfast room, reeking of alcohol and looking like a hobo.

After his shower, Seth makes his way into the walk-in closet. Roman told him to dress casually so he picks out the same beige chino-styled shorts he wore on his first date with Roman. The air tends to have a cold breeze to it at night so he isn't going to wear a tank top. He picks out a Ralph Lauren t-shirt instead and a light sweater in case the weather decides to be bitchy.

Fifteen minutes later and he's a raving beauty, he just needs to fix his hair now. He does his hair the way Roman wanted him to, taking his time to ensure his curls are perfect. They rest dazzlingly on his shoulders—all thick and lustrous. He sprays a bit of cologne on him and holds his right hand against his mouth to ensure that everything is still perfect in the breath department.

"O nei mea uma o a'u." the words are said in the sexiest of voices.

Seth turns away from the full body mirror to look at his hot boyfriend. Roman has a thing for leaning against doorways, like he's doing now. Actually the man has a thing for a lot of weird things that Seth will mention one day when he isn't being eye fucked by his boyfriend. "You're right, Daddy. All this is yours." His Samoan is not there yet but he knows what Roman's just said.

Roman seems impressed as he makes his way towards him. Seth accepts the invasion to his mouth and kisses his boyfriend with passionate enthusiasm. He cups Roman's cheeks, feeling his beard tickle his soft palms. He loves the feel of it and he's obsessed with it, to be honest. He had to beg Roman to keep it, the man wanted to shave it on Saturday.

"You look beautiful—as usual." Love dances in Roman's eyes when they pull back, it turns Seth into a pile of loved up goo.

"Thank you, baby."

Roman nods his head. "We leave in forty-five minutes, I need to get ready."

"Of course, daddy." Seth laughs at Roman's low groan, he knows how that word greatly affects his boyfriend.

"Call me that name again and I'll damn this whole thing and throw you on that bed." The words are growled out by a primal looking hot as fuck royal. "And I won't be held accountable for how I'll wreck that ass, Seth."

"Now daddy, you know I can handle everything you give me. What if I want just that? Maybe I want us to damn this whole date and you can take me for a different ride instead."

Roman's nostrils flare, the bulge in his pants is so prominent it makes Seth licks his dry lips. He feels parched and he's hungry for it but they're going out and he shouldn't have teased Roman like that. He darts out of his room, laughing loudly when Roman releases a string of curses about being teased. Seth's feet carry him to the living room and he remembers that he forgot his phone in his room. If he goes now, he's definitely getting fucked and getting his outfit ruined. No, he'll wait here for a few minutes to ensure that Roman's in the bathroom. He's not about to have his entire effort to look this good (yes, he knows he doesn't need to put in any effort—he'd look good in a garbage bag but he's just saying…), only for Roman to ruin it for him.

The water is running in the bathroom when he enters his room again. On the bed lies the clothes he's assuming Roman will be wearing. It's a pair of black jeans and a navy blue sweater. A gold Rolex rests on top of the sweater making Seth remember his own present that he bought for Roman. The royal loves expensive watches so Seth hopes that he'll love the one he bought too—it's different from the gold, silver and platinum ones Roman normally wears. The watch is a Rolex too, it's a Cosmograph Daytona adorned with 36 baguette-cut sapphires in rainbow hues on the bezel. It might be a tad bit too colorful for Roman's tastes but it's absolutely gorgeous.

Seth gasps when he feels a hard body pressing into him. "Roman, _you_ said we're going out. We can't have sex now." He tells the bastard whose dick is just as insatiable as him.

"I know." The bruising kisses being peppered on his neck cause Seth to bite on his lip to stifle a moan. They alternate between hard bites to soothing kisses. Roman's hand firmly grip his waist to prevent him from going anywhere.

"Baby please…" his words fade into nothing, a moan stealing the spotlight. Roman's making him bend over the huge mahogany dresser in the room. The royal bastard has managed to make him hard and his whole body tingles in anticipation as he waits for Roman to fucking put his dick in him already. He won't have to wait for long with how impatient Roman's fingers are when they work him open. He bites on his left thumb softly when that skilled dick finally breaches his hole.

He's sure that when he dies, it'll be from the great dicking down he receives from his boyfriend. The man knows his body and how to play it until it bends to his will. What started out as soft moans turn into embarrassing high pitched screams and sobs for more as his body shudders from how animalistic his boyfriend is being. Roman is always greedy and demanding in the way he fucks him—and Seth wouldn't have it any other way. He is always left embarrassed at how wanton he behaves but he can't help it. He can't help the way he throws his ass back on Roman's dick as he holds onto the edge of the dresser in a white-knuckled grip.

"YOUR ASS IS MINE SETH! IT'S MINE TO USE, AND YOU'RE SO FUCKING PERFECT, YOU TAKE DADDY SO WELL!" The words are growled out by the brute fucking into him. Roman drags him by his hair and Seth would complain because, fuck, he spent a lot of time fixing it but no. He isn't going to. Not when Roman thrusts unbelievably deeper into him—owning him with each greedy invasion. He's not going to complain because he can't even utter a word. He's currently being driven insane. He's currently being stuffed full of his man's cock. Everything else can wait.

"Shit! You're going to make me cum, daddy!" he screams as he feels his body contract. There's heat unfurling in his stomach and everything in him tightens. His toes are curled tightly, eyes squeezed even tighter as he flies into euphoric oblivion. He smacks his ass on Roman's dick, this man using him makes him feel so fucking sexy. "Fuck this ass, daddy. It's all yours." The words come out panted—totally not in the seductive way he'd intended, but they still have an effect on his boyfriend.

He gyrates erotically and lifts his t-shirt up a bit higher to do things with his body he knows drive Roman insane. He clenches around Roman's dick while still moving his body sensually. Roman brings him to him by grabbing a fistful of his hair. The royal's right arm goes around his neck causing his hand to settle on that big arm. His heart is already combusting but it fucking explodes at the intense look on his man's face. Roman is ravenous for him, his dark eyes are predatory and the sweat running down his face makes him look like a beast.

He's being shoved forward with each hard pounding to his body and it causes him to shudder in exquisite pleasure. The eye contact remains as Roman goes to stroke his cock. "Aaaah…Daddy! You fuck me so good!" he screams wanting to close his eyes and succumb to the furious sensations running through his body because it's raw, it's animalistic and it's plain savage.

"Don't you dare, Seth! I want you to look at this. Do you see Seth?" it's growled into his ear when his eyes almost close. "DO YOU SEE?!"

"YES!" he screams. Tears of ecstasy fall down his cheeks but they aren't just of pleasure. He can tell with the look in Roman's eyes—they're connecting. They're connecting in every way possible. "I see! I belong to you, I'm yours Daddy! I'm all yours and I love you. I love you so fucking much, Roman!"

Roman turns him around like some limp doll and invades his body again. His shorts have fallen to the ground so Seth wraps his legs around Roman—like an octopus, he curls in and folds himself around the man he loves. "I'm yours too, alofagia. I love you too, so much." He feels too sensitive as Roman mutters the words and his lips touch his face. He's all sweaty and his t-shirt makes him feel like a furnace but again Seth doesn't care.

The only thing he does care about are him and Roman and their coupling. Delicious friction is created when Roman pulls him up and down his dick. Seth bites on his lip and rests his head on Roman's shoulder as his man sends him to sensual rapture. Closer and closer they get to fulfillment, it's not long that Seth feels the telltale signs of another impending orgasm. He cries out this time, salty liquid cascading down his cheeks as his orgasm tears through him. "Ungh….FUCK! Fuck, Roman! Fuck, fuck, fuck…" the word keeps slipping past his lips. _It feels good, so good!_

"Just like that Seth!" he hears Roman breathe into his ear. And so he obeys, he clenches around Roman's dick and bounces his scrumptious ass on his man's dick. His head falls back against the dresser and he gasps loudly when he feels Roman cum deep inside him. It's a sensation he loves so much, feeling Roman claim him from the inside. "You're so perfect Seth, so beautiful." The words are whispered against his wet forehead before soft lips touch him.

"You're prefect too, daddy." Seth sighs against Roman's lips. He's still shaking and clutches Roman's shoulders in a white-knuckled grip when Roman moves to pull out of him—he's sensitive and it hurts. He can feel how his hole quivers after Roman's fully pulled out of him. "And now we have to shower again," the complaint is lighthearted.

"Look on the bright side, we're going to conserve water."

Ugh…..

"Remove this damn shirt off me, you royal bastard." He lifts his hands, allowing his laughing boyfriend to remove the Ralph Lauren t-shirt off of him. Roman folds it neatly and it's Seth's turn to laugh—he's in love with a neat freak.

The shower takes longer than expected—it's all Roman's fault, of course. Seth had to swallow a gallon of cum and then have his ass stuffed full of it again by an insatiable royal. He doesn't do his hair the way Roman wanted though—it's Roman who caused it to be ruined the first time so Seth can't himself to care when the royal gets a sad look. He ties his hair into a low bun instead and wears a pair of black shorts with a white Polo shirt. Roman wears the items he'd placed on the bed.

"Where are we going?" Seth asks because Roman's chopper is on the manicured grounds and they're heading towards it.

His sneaky ass boyfriend considers him with an amused stare, "Out."

Really? That's all he gets? "Out where?"

A peck on his lips, "You'll see."

Bobby's already in the helicopter when they enter. Roman gives him a pair of helicopter headsets before wearing his own. "Bobby, did you know about all this?" Seth asks as the chopper takes off.

"Yes. But Manuia made me promise not to divulge. His punishments are something I can't handle."

Seth laughs, Manuia can be a handful. "In that case, I won't hold it against you." He turns his attention to his calm boyfriend instead. "Can you tell me where we're going now?"

"Tampa."

Roman's unperturbed and he isn't even looking at Seth when he says the words. "Really?" Seth isn't sure why they're going there. "Why?"

"You'll see."

"Why don't you just tell me? You've already told me that we're going to Tampa."

"I don't want to tell you."

Ugh. Seth wants to fold his arms across his chest and behave like a petulant child but that's more of Roman's style. Roman doesn't behave like a petulant child, he behaves like a child in general—like he's doing now. So Seth goes the adult route instead. He rolls his eyes at Roman even though the man still isn't looking at him. Bobby clearly saw that because he shakes his head while laughing softly. Seth smiles at him and turns away from Roman to look out the window.

Okay, he's certain that whatever Roman is about to do will make him cry ugly tears. Because why else would he bring him _here?_ Where it all began. Seth can feel his heart pulsing vigorously against his ribcage. His hands are clammy and all his talkativeness has faded into one word responses as they land right inside the park on the helipad. He hasn't been in this park since he ran away from Roman _that_ day but it still floods him with a multitude of feelings.

He still remembers what Roman was wearing on that day he ran into him. It was a loose fitting white tank top and black Nike shorts. He still remembers how worried Roman had been as he'd held his waist and checked if he was fine. He remembers fixating on Roman's chiseled features and his embarrassment at foolishly staring at Roman whilst the man was talking to him. It feels like a lifetime ago—and Seth can't believe how that brief encounter has led him here.

"Come, alofagia." Seth accepts Roman's offered hand and exits the helicopter, bidding Bobby goodbye.

"Roman…" he gasps at the beauty that surrounds him. They're walking on a freaking red carpet as Roman guides him wherever he's taking them. Gorgeous gold and white lights decorate each and every tree in the park. It's so beautiful, Seth holds on tightly to Roman's hands. He really doesn't want to cry but it's getting harder with each step that guides them to the location Roman has chosen. The sounds of music fill the air as they get closer to their location. It isn't Roman's kind of music that penetrates the air but what henormally plays instead. "Skid Row?" he looks at Roman.

He gets a shrug, "You love them."

"I didn't think you knew."

"I know a lot of things about you, Seth. You roll your eyes more than is allowable. You don't know that your right eyebrow arches really high when you're thinking too much. You're a pig but you always fold your underwear—I don't know why because most of it is skimpy." Roman chuckles when he gets punched on the shoulder. "You're the worst singer ever but you have a beautiful voice. You sometimes rub your hands conspiratorially when you laugh. And just your presence alone has the ability to light up an entire room. Your presence lights up my life. And you're about to cry now…your nose is scrunching up in that cute way it does when you want to cry. That lip bite you're doing is what you always do to prevent yourself from crying. It never helps though which explains the tears that are leaving your eyes."

"I'm torn b-between s-smacking you and k-kissing you," Seth stutters because the bastard is right. He futilely tries to wipe his tears away. Roman replaces his hands with his own and once he's wiped the tears away, he brings Seth in for a gentle kiss. "I love you, Roman." Seth sighs against Roman's lips.

"I love you too, baby. You're my world."

An elegantly decorated table large enough for two people sits near the area of the park where there's a pond and a large oak tree above it. Gold hanging lights hang from the tree, rose petals are scattered all around the table and the red carpet extends beneath their table. "Thank you," Seth tells Roman when he gets his chair for him. He admires the two luxurious candlelit glasses set on the table. "This is all very beautiful Roman. But I hope you know our anniversary is tomorrow."

"I know," Roman smiles, "but we'll be busy with something else tomorrow."

Seth arches his eyebrows in curiosity. "Oh?"

"It's a surprise," it's said in amusement.

"If it's something like this then I'm not complaining."

"You'll find out tomorrow."

The waiter comes to their table about five minutes that they've situated themselves—she's already carrying a tray with their food. Seth thinks he's going to die from all these emotions that keep assaulting with each sweet gesture Roman keeps doing. The food on his plate is his favorite, the waitress confirms it— Salt-and-Pepper Chicken with Spring Quinoa Pilaf. Seth wouldn't be able to tell you how Roman knew that this specific dish is his favorite. He hasn't eaten this in a long time, not since he moved to Miami.

"How did you know?" he asks, meeting soulful brown eyes.

"I have my ways."

"I've never been this spoiled before. Thank you."

"I must up my game then. You deserve all the spoiling in the world."

"I do, actually." He sticks his tongue out at his gorgeous boyfriend.

"Then I'll make sure to spoil you Seth. I know there's times it doesn't feel like it but I really do worship the ground you walk on."

The server comes back with a bottle of wine and two wine glasses. Seth waits for her to leave before he responds to Roman. "Just make sure that that spoiling means you treating me the right way. I don't care for the gifts and all that, Roman. The only thing I expect from you is that you treat me right."

Roman clears his throat, "Of course Seth."

"Thank you."

He's gifted with that smile that can make the stars fall. "No, thank _you_ Seth."

After dinner, the waiter comes back with the dessert. It's Cupid's Ice-cream Cupcakes, his favorite again. Seth releases a deep moan at the first delicious taste, his eyes have closed at the perfection of deliciousness bursting in his mouth. He smiles when his eyes open and Roman's looking at him in adoration. "I hope that dessert won't replace my dick. You're moaning way too much over ice-cream, alofagia."

Of course…..

"This isn't just ice-cream Roman. It's a duo of cake and ice-cream, both of my favorites in one. So of course I'll moan like I do when I'm eating something else."

Roman throws his head back, he's as gorgeous as ever as he laughs like a little kid. These are the moments Seth lives for—when his boyfriend turns into a ray of sunlight. He loves it more that he's able to bring this side out to Roman. God, does he love this man!

"My dick better be the favorite out of these favorites you have."

"It's second daddy. My first favorite is you."

"Corny." Roman chuckles again. Instead of indulging in any dessert, the royal's settled for whisky. It's ridiculous how addicted Roman is to the stinging liquor.

"Only for you."

"Come," Roman gets up, hand entwining with Seth's.

"Roman?" Seth is perplexed when the royal pulls out of his hand. Roman walks away from him, leaving Seth to look around the park. They aren't far from the park's exit, he can see the huge Lakefield Park sign at the entrance but the gates are closed. The park usually closes at ten in the evening but it's just gone after nine now and Seth hasn't spotted anyone inside the park, other than him, Roman and their waiter. Could Roman have…..

"Roman, did you reserve this entire park?" he asks tremulously.

Silence.

"Roman?"

The royal finally turns to look at him, hands stuffed in his pockets. He's considering Seth with blank eyes, they're the blankest Seth has seen in a long time. Roman is yet to utter a word and his stoic exterior is slowly getting to Seth. What is the man looking for?

"It was here, Seth. When I ran into you, it was on this spot. I'm not going to lie and say I remember much of you on that day. I don't remember much because I was a mess on that day Seth. I hadn't been home in forty-eight hours and I was exhausted and I felt suffocated. Everything had been closing in on me. It began after Tyler died, when h-he robbed me of what we had. He robbed me of so many things that I can't help but hate him sometimes. When I—when I…" a heavy breath leaves Roman. He looks like he's barely holding on and Seth wants to go and comfort him but he doesn't. Roman looks like he needs his space—to reveal everything he's feeling without feeling suffocated.

"When I—see a lot of things, lovers, families, children, something dies inside me. I was sixteen when Tyler committed suicide and all I could think about back then was joining him. I wanted to be with him so that we could be a f-family. I wanted to d-die, Seth. For a very long time, I couldn't see past the darkness. For a long time, I couldn't see past the pain—I felt so alone and so _empty._ I know the emptiness will never go away but you help lessen it, alofagia. You remind me that there's something to look forward to. You fulfill me and the greatest feeling in the world to me, is coming home to you. I want to come home to you for the rest of my life Seth."

"I'm happy you feel this way, it means I'm doing something right somehow. And thank you—for making space in your heart for me too. I know Tyler was your first love a-and I'm not here to take his place. I'm here to love you too, maybe differently from how Tyler did but I'm here to love you as well." Seth's voice is thick with emotion. He means every word he says as he remains standing about three meters away from Roman, hands shaking hard.

"Roman walks towards Seth only stopping when he's near enough that he can feel the brunet's unsteady heartbeat. His lips touch Seth's in a gentle kiss that binds him with the brunet who makes him feel lighter. "In Lanuola Seth, every newborn has to have a tribal pendant made for them by their family. It's tradition and we believe it connects us with our ancestors. We believe the pendant allows us to talk to them about anything. And once we grow older, the pendant is passed on to the one we love. But whoever we give the pendant to, should be the one we're certain about. The pendant isn't just given to anyone. The pendant is a proposal to propose—"

Seth doesn't mean to, but he laughs. A proposal to propose? That's a first. "I'm sorry, but a proposal to propose?"

"Yes," his gorgeous boyfriend laughs too. He clearly finds the whole thing funny as well, "but it explains itself Seth. You Americans have promise rings but we have pendants. It represents my commitment to you and how serious I am about you. If you accept it, it means that you're accepting my proposal for something deeper in the future. Lanuolans—we believe that the pendant binds one's soul to the other. We believe that the wearer of the pendant is introduced to our ancestors and is therefore recognized by our ancestors as the owner of the pendant's one true mate. Whoever wears the pendant is recognized as the owner's soulmate Seth."

So the pendant represents something deeper. But Seth isn't sure why Roman is telling him all these things. If the royal wants to present him with the pendant, he'll gladly accept it. He already knows Roman is his soulmate—he already feels so much love for the man in front of him. And his love, it grows everyday—each day he loves Roman more than he did the day before. "I'm not sure I understand what you're trying to say, Roman." He whispers, looking into the royal's eyes.

Roman creates a bit of space between the two of them and reaches inside the front of his pockets. A neatly wrapped rectangular box comes into view causing Seth's stomach to quiver in nervousness. "Ro-man…" his voice cracks in emotion. He doesn't want to cry but the royal is making it hard for him. He's being looked at like he's the best thing that's ever happened to humanity. He's been looked at like he's the stars and the moon.

"Don't cry," even Roman's gentle voice tugs at his heartstrings. He can't accurately describe all the emotions bombarding him. He'll try though—there's excessive love, excessive joy, excessive fear. Everything is just excessive and he doesn't know what to do other than let the tears drop down his cheeks. He feels so intensely for the man standing in front of him and he's torn between hugging Roman close so that the royal can feel the depth of his love for him and running away in hiding because _it's too much._ Everything he feels is in abundance and it keeps overflowing and he has no way of stopping it—he doesn't want to.

"I-I don't know what y-you're doing to me." He shakes his head and hugs his waist.

"Hey, that's my line." The teasing in Roman's voice has him laughing through his tears. "And there it is, that smile that lights up my whole world."

"It'll disappear real fast if you continue making me feel funny," Seth smiles.

He feels a soft kiss against his lips as one hand cups his cheek gently. "I love you, alofagia. And I brought you here because this is where it all began. I'm so grateful that I ran into you that day. I'm honored that I get to call you mine Seth. My only regret is that you loving me has caused you pain."

"Pain is something that's part of life, Roman. We can't avoid getting hurt—by the ones we love, by strangers. It's just the way it is and sometimes it's something we do unintentionally. What's important is that you recognize the one you're hurting and how you're hurting them. What's important is that you acknowledge when you've wronged them and that you apologize. A sincere apology, Roman—but actions speak louder than words. And the best apology is one that's proved through _actions._ "

"I hear you Seth."

A smile tugs at thin lips, "Good." He pecks Roman's full lips.

"I had a whole speech for this but I think I've forgotten most of the words. So I'll tell you what I feel Seth. I'll tell you what comes from here…" the royal places his hand below his chest to signal to his heart. "I want you to know that my sun sets and rises in your eyes, Seth. And that I love you—this I mean with everything that is in me, alofagia. I love you so much and I'll spend the rest of my life telling you how much because I don't ever want you to forget it. And I'll always be reduced to saying I love you because I have never been poetic and it's the only way I can explain how I feel for you. I love you. I love you. And I love you. For the rest of my life, I'll love you. Only you and no else. And the only time my heart will expand to love again will be the day you have our children but until then—only you own my heart Seth."

"I think you get off on making me cry." Seth mutters the words into his boyfriend's right ear. He's an octopus as he always is when it comes to the Lanuolan. "I love you too, Roman. And like you, the day my heart will make space for more people is the day I have our kids."

"Our football team?"

Seth chuckles, "You really want a football team?"

"Yes. All boys, there's too many women in our family."

"Well I live to serve you Daddy. A football team it is."

Roman pulls back, excitement dancing in warm brown eyes. "Really?"

"Hell no! My body won't handle all that." Seth laughs when Roman rolls his eyes.

"So do you accept my proposal to propose Seth?" The royal asks.

"Yes I do, Roman." Seth nods his head gently.

"Thank you." Roman pecks his lips. He opens the wrapped box meticulously and Seth briefly sees a beautiful beaded tribal necklace. Roman returns the box inside his pants pocket and says a few words in Samoan as he holds the necklace in his hands and looks at it. Seth doesn't catch much of what the royal's saying, it's said in deep Samoan.

His whole body is shaking hard as Roman moves to stand behind him, he can feel the royal's presence consuming him. Soft lips touch the sensitive part of his neck before they peck the back of his neck too. Seth releases a shaky shudder and closes his eyes. The tears are threatening to fall again when something cold touches his neck. Roman's whispering again—in Samoan. Seth feels the royal's warm fingers as they fasten the tribal pendant around his neck.

Roman kisses the back of his neck again after he's done. Seth opens his eyes ever so slowly, meeting a tribal necklace created with beautiful onyx beads, an oval shaped pendant hangs on the tribal necklace. It's a white-ish caramel color and it's intricately designed a bit higher up the necklace.

"You're an A'noai now, Seth. And I love you completely, mate of mine." The words are whispered by a deliciously hot breath into Seth's ear.

Seth meets his home when he turns to face a very happy Roman. The broad smile on Roman's face causes a fluttering in the pit of his stomach. Roman's happiness is undisguised, it's genuine and it comes from deep within him. Seth can tell, his man's whole aura exudes positive feelings. He wraps his arms around Roman and maintains the eye contact. _Home,_ his soul sings.

"I love you too, mate of mine."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, sorry for being away but I've had exams, still do. Studying is a priority a the moment, but I think this chapter is quite long? I'm not sure.

Pain knocks the wind out of Seth's lungs as he finds himself laying on his side on the marble tiles of the hotel room they're in. A yelp escapes him, he doesn't know what's happened—one minute he'd been rushing to the bathroom, stomach twisting and turning violently he felt he would've retched last night's supper in bed and now he finds himself on the ground.

The impact of his fall has chased the nausea away, strangely. He closes his eyes when it feels like the room is spinning in circles around him, doing a breathing exercise. Sitting up takes longer than he'd like but he does eventually and leans against the white walls of the hotel room. His eyes are closed again but he knows Roman is crouched in front of him, he can feel the man's presence—consuming him as always.

Seth opens his eyes, his boyfriend is examining him in a way that causes him to titter, Roman's eyebrows knit together in that way they always do when he's trying to understand something and doesn't want to be disturbed. Seth notices that the royal has his phone in hand. "Phone?" he asks.

Roman looks at him intensely, remaining silent for a while. Seth grins when Roman blinks once, twice before clearing his throat. Good, the man's finally joined the land of the living. "My phone?" Seth asks again.

"The hipster called," Roman hands the phone to Seth. "I came to give you the phone and I find that you're—" the royal shakes his head, eyebrows knitting once more. "—on the ground. Why?"

"I'm not sure, was rushing to the bathroom—had nausea and then I found myself on the floor. It's probably dizziness, I swear I saw two bathroom doors when rushing here."

Roman is still crouched in front of him, a small laugh leaving him as he shakes his head. "Two doors, huh?"

"Yes Sir," a small grin tugs at thin lips.

"Come, I'll help you up." Roman stands up, pulling Seth up on his feet too but the brunet's knees threaten to give out again. "Whoa, alofagia. Your legs are very clumsy today, more so than usual." He gets punched on the shoulder by a groaning brunet, Roman kisses his lips. 'We're going back to the hospital the minute we arrive back home."

"No, we're not."

Roman hoists a clumsy Seth into his arms. "These pills are messing with you. How many times have you vomited since you got on them?"

"My body needs time to adjust to them, daddy. These are the side effects I'm facing, I told you about them."

"I know but I don't like what they're doing to you, alofagia. What if you fell and hit your head?"

Seth hushes Roman with a tender kiss to the lips. "I fell on my side, okay? Nothing's wrong with me, I know my body and if something were wrong I'd know. Just allow my body time to adjust."

He receives silence and an arched left eyebrow.

"We can always go back if my body doesn't adjust, Rome. You're making a big deal out of nothing."

A sigh this time, "One month and then we're going back."

"One month," Seth agrees, he gives his phone to Roman. "Now carry me to the bathroom, I need to pee." Roman complies, balancing Seth's waist once they're in the bathroom. "Um, I think I need to poop too, Roman."

Lips touch the back of Seth's neck before Roman turns him around, allowing Seth to settle on the toilet seat. "You want me to leave?"

Seth shrugs, "If you want to, 'm not sure if I won't fall to the ground when I'm done though."

"Stay, it is."

"Who is it?" Seth asks when his phone rings.

"Kofi."

"Answer it—but don't tell him I'm pooping!"

Roman laughs and answers the phone, having an awkward conversation with Kofi. Seth can't blame him, he'd be the same too, if he spoke to someone he's met just once. He's done with his personal business when Roman hangs up. "He was just checking up on you, told me to tell you that you're missed and you should visit sometime."

"Well, we can do that later tonight. We're in Tampa already, it wouldn't be nice if I left without seeing him…and my friends. We can check out The Black Vault later tonight?"

Roman plucks two new toothbrushes from the counter, rinses them, waiting until Seth's washed his hands before giving one to him, toothpaste already filled on it. "If that's what you want."

"It is," Seth nods his head. He tries to, but he can't keep his eyes from wandering to the tribal necklace Roman gifted him last night. Roman's words play in his head, over and over again, like a broken record, one he wouldn't mind listening to for the rest of his life. The hand that was gripping the sink travels to leisurely touch the intricately designed pendant. He smiles through the white foam in his mouth.

Roman is looking at him on the mirror, it causes Seth's heart to flutter. _I love you,_ the words tumble in his mind. He knows his eyes reveal it too. Feeling childish, he removes his toothbrush from his mouth and aims it towards Roman causing white suds to land on the royal's beardy cheek. Roman shakes his head but he must be feeling mature today because he does nothing else.

"Are you coming?" Seth asks heading for the shower.

"Of course, Mr. Anoa'i…I'll be coming inside you soon too. Get yourself ready for me," Seth gawks at the royal bastard's words. Roman walks out of the bathroom before Seth can respond, leaving a content brunet alone in the bathroom.

Strong arms enfold around his waist as the hot water pelts Seth's skin, rinsing white suds off his body. "You've gone and taken a shower without me." Roman complains.

"Well, you were taking too much time. I should've known you wanted to play some music, you can't live without it."

Roman kisses his back tattoo, "Music is food for the soul, alofagia. Life would be pretty blue without it."

Seth allows Roman to turn him around, his arms resting on the royal's shoulders as the man sways them to the slow jam penetrating the air. Roman leans down to kiss him, slow and sweet before he continues in the quietest of voices. "These songs, back home people lost their virginity to this music. You'd find teenage boys calling their girls to serenade them with a classic Luther Vandross or Marvin Gaye song. Jey, it's where he got his smooth skills from. He'd use some of the lyrics to the songs and you know, the girls and boys, they'd swoon. I love old school because you could hear, in their voices—they weren't just singing. The music came from their souls, it's why the classics never grow old."

"Mhm, everything was way cooler back then. And you're so vintage, I forget that you're just a 90s baby sometimes."

Roman's hands hold Seth tighter as he shakes his head, "The 90s kids are the coolest generation the world's provided. Look at all the love making songs that brought us onto earth."

"You're just saying that to boost that inflated ego of yours."

"Of course, I am." Seth faces the shower walls when Roman turns him around. "Bend over Seth, Luther's granted me permission to fuck you to his song." The brunet moans, obeying by arching his back lewdly and bracing his hands on the shower knobs.

Roman takes his time in loving him, large hands wandering all over Seth's body. His body is teased and worshipped—the music filling the air makes everything burn hotter. Seth allows Roman to have him, all of him. It's pure sweet love making as Roman takes them higher and higher while their souls remain so deeply immersed in each other. When their orgasms crash through them, it's done in tandem with their lips joined in a passionate lip lock.

Time seems suspended, in a place where it's just the two of them and no one else. Seth rests his head against the ceramic of the shower walls and tries to even his breathing. Roman's lips are touching his neck, his shoulders, his back. Seth bites on his bottom lip, eyes fluttering closed when Roman holds him in place and pumps into him again—the man's insatiable. It's faster than their first session, rough too. Roman has his wet hair gripped in an iron hold, moving in and out of him until another orgasm rips through him.

There's dark spots blinding him when Roman pulls out of his warmth, Seth feels his knees buckle but the royal holds him in a sure hold, like he always does. Roman takes it upon himself to bath them, even though Seth had bathed already. Seth clings to his boyfriend, folding his legs around Roman's waist when they leave the shower, wet and dripping. Roman stops to grab a towel, wrapping it around them both before heading inside the bedroom.

"What do you want for breakfast?"

Seth pauses momentarily from his task of putting on his underwear. "Donuts, mango juice."

"They don't have that here," Roman frowns, "I'll…take care of it, though. Excuse me."

Roman disappears from view as he strides towards the sliding door leading to the balcony of their room. Seth decides to get dressed, Roman said they're going out at one but he didn't mention the dress code for the occasion so Seth settles on semi-casual clothing. He puts on a grey Metallica t-shirt, pairing it with charcoal slim fit Oxford chino shorts and old school Vans. His hair is tied into a neat bun and he sprays cologne on his body.

"You always smell so good," Roman's back and he has face buried in Seth's neck, strong arms folded around Seth's smaller body tightly.

"It's the cologne," Seth smiles, "but thank you."

Roman's arms disappear from around him when the doorbell rings. "Must be our food," a kiss is placed on neat brown hair, "Get settled, I'll get it."

Seth's eyes light up when Roman places their food on the table. "You got them to bring this here, how?"

"Have my ways." Seth's hungry gaze sweeps over the assorted donuts. He accepts a bottle of mango juice from an amused Roman, rewarding him with a kiss.

"Well thank you. I better warn you though, donuts are my favorite. I'll probably eat most of them."

"Knock yourself out."

"I don't even know which one to pick first, they all look so good." Seth moans.

In the end, Seth eats six donuts all on his own while Roman gets the three that are Seth's least favorite. The brunet can't bring himself to feel guilty though, Roman did tell him to knock himself out after all. It's ten in the morning and they have another two hours before they have to leave so Roman suggests they relax outside, guiding Seth out the balcony. They're on the 29th floor, it's the last one, allowing them the liberty to view the beauty of Tampa bay.

The city sounds are chaotic, as usual, but they turn into a distant noise with how high up they are. Seth rests his hands on top of Roman's as they look on the breathtaking view. "Happy one month, Roman." He realizes he hadn't yet said the words.

Lips touch the back of his neck, "Happy one month to you too, alofagia. I love you."

The words never cease to cause the butterflies to swim in his stomach. "I love you too." He really does, so much.

It's ten minutes before one when they arrive to the location that Roman had hid from him throughout the day. Roman tells him to remain seated as he goes to the other side to get his door for him so Seth complies. He removes his seatbelt, accepting Roman's offered hand and a kiss to his lips. The place they're at is a restaurant, one called Tommo's. Roman must have a thing for these classy, glass wall designed restaurants because this one reminds Seth of the one Roman took him to on their first date.

The dress code isn't as strict as from that restaurant though which Seth thinks is a good thing. They head to the host booth, Roman speaking to the young lady who's hair is tied to perfection. Sarah, Seth reads her name tag, seems too dumbfounded to respond at first. Her cheeks take on a red color and Seth thinks she's gawking at them. He can't blame her, two fine specimen, in a relationship together—of course, they make fire together.

"Alofagia?"

Roman's voice brings him back to the present. "Yes?"

"You coming?" Seth wants to make some sexual joke but decides to nod his head instead. Here and there, people look at them in awe as they make their way to their table. Seth hesitates when he sees the table they're headed to. Not because of the table, there's nothing special about it, it's elegantly set up and is large. So large in fact, that a big number of humans—who look like his boyfriend—occupy it, leaving two empty seats, Seth gathers are meant for himself and Roman.

Why? Just why the hell didn't the royal bastard tell him they were meeting his family? Seth can feel himself grow sick with each shaky step that brings them closer to _that_ table. Forest green eyes clash with his widened ones—that _has_ to be the mother. She looks older than everyone at the table, but her porcelain skin is flawless as ever. It's her energy that makes Seth know, even with the bit of distance, there's something regal about the woman, something warm too.

And she's _beautiful—_ the woman looks as ethereal as her son. Her jet black hair falls in lustrous curls around her. Seth can't see much of her outfit but she looks so simplistic, even her aura exudes that. He breaks eye contact shyly to look at the other occupants at the table. There's Jimmy and Naomi, he spots Jey, Tamina, Nia is seated next to a woman with fiery red hair. Her hair contrasts her gorgeous mocha skin tone and Seth gets a feeling that she's as fierce as the color of her.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he whispers to Roman just before they reach the table.

"And ruin the surprise, I don't think so."

"I hate you."

"The feeling's mutual." Seth grabs Roman's right arm, moving it to rest at the small of his back. The nerves he feels dissipate a little, but the nausea is still there and he can't seem to breathe right when they finally reach the table. He blinks his eyes rapidly, heart thumping loudly. The spotlight falls on them when Roman clears his throat. In a moment of insecurity, Seth's eyes fall at his Vans and they stay there.

The hand at his waist squeezes gently but Seth doesn't dare look up, feeling far too bare and scared. "Family," Roman starts, _something_ in his voice, "thank you for coming. You know why you're here and you know who this is…well most of you." The table chortles. "But I'd still like to introduce him to you. Mama, Ember and all of you, meet Seth Rollins. My happiness and the one I love."

"Is he going to stare at his feet forever?" Naomi teases. "C'mon Seth, you're not this shy at home."

Seth's eyes snap up immediately as he rolls them at Naomi. "I'm not shy at all, Naomi. You're just…unlookable."

The table breaks into laughter again, but Seth focuses his attention on Naomi, he's still nervous about meeting the others' eyes. "Unlookable isn't a word, boo thang."

"It is now."

Everyone is still laughing, making Seth feel somewhat at ease—the ice has slowly broken. The woman, who Seth is certain is Roman's mother, moves from where she's seated. Roman's arm disappears from his waist to hug the petit woman. Seth can hear her whispering into Roman's ear, she's speaking Italian, he thinks. It's a bit of a surprise because Roman has never told him that his mom is Italian—granted they haven't exactly spoken much about their families.

"So you're the one Roman always insists I talk to on the phone?"

Yeah, that's pretty accurate. "Yes, Your Highness." At least his voice is not shaky.

"Mhm," Seth tries not to fidget while being examined. "You gave him the pendant?"

"Yes," Roman nods his head.

"You must really love him then."

"I do." The words melt Seth's heart even though he's being spoken about as if he isn't here.

Forest green eyes observe him again, warmth in them. "Do you love my son, Mr. Rollins?"

"I do."

"And he loves you too? Do you feel his love for you when you're with him?"

"Yes, I know he loves me. He tries to show me all the time." Even though he behaves like an ass sometimes. He won't tell Roman's mother that though.

"Does he make you happy?"

"Yes," Seth acknowledges again.

He should've known that the petit woman is a hugger, like everyone of Roman's family he's met. Her hug makes him feel as if he's floating on clouds, it's warm and cuddly, much like Nia's hugs even though Roman's mom is way smaller than his intimidating cousin. "Good, that's what's important. That you're happy with each other and that you love each other."

"We do," Roman's mother eyes him as if checking to see if he's telling the truth. Seth isn't sure if she finds what she's looking for as she pats his cheek before going to her chair. He takes a seat next to Roman.

"Alofagia, you already know my silly cousins and their spouses." Seth laughs at the protests coming from their table. "But you haven't met my mama and favorite cousin."

"Technically I've met your mother already, Roman."

"Tell him, Seth." Jey guffaws.

Roman's arched eyebrow causes Seth to shrug lightly, a grin on his face. "Okay, smartass. I want you to meet Ember then, my cousin."

"Wassup?" fiery red-haired girl, Ember, greets.

Seth, for the first time, notices that her eyes are a blood red color. Okay that comparison was…awkward but her eyes blaze in the same red color as her hair. "I like your contacts, they're really cool."

Ember smiles with her whole face, she looks genuinely happy with Seth's compliment while most of the table snorts. "She looks a vampire with those red things on. A Twilight bloodsucker."

"Jealousy looks great on you, Tami." Ember gloats. "The contacts are cool, approved by my favorite cousin-in-law."

Okay….

Seth is surprised that Roman's family take Ember's words in stride, as if it's normal talk to just declare a newcomer as family. He doesn't spend much time pondering on it though as their waiter comes with the menus and takes down their drinks orders before scurrying off when Jey's ever flirting self makes the young man blush in every shade of red.

"So where's home, Seth?" the Queen jumps straight into it. Her kind eyes tell Seth he needn't be afraid so he clears his throat.

"Keokuk, Iowa." Roman's right hand settles on his thigh beneath the table—comforting. Seth entwines it with his.

"I've never been to Keokuk, before. Never heard of it, actually."

"You've never been to Iowa at all, Jey." Jimmy points out.

"I know, dimwit. It's why I said that." The waiter comes back with their drinks, setting them on the table. They place their orders before the waiter leaves again.

"I'm afraid, I've never been to Keokuk too. What's it like?"

"I mean it's not that big a city, about 10 000 people or so live there. Jobs don't come by easily. It's part of why I left. It's pretty boring but in the summer, we have a blues festival at Victory Park, I actually forgot about that. I should take you there, sometime—I'm sure you'll enjoy it." Seth tells Roman.

"I'm game for anything music related."

Seth shakes his head, "Not metal," he accuses.

"That's not music, that's people screaming incoherently."

"But you scream along too, I've seen you do it a couple of times."

He laughs when Roman keeps silent, the man can say he hates his music all he wants but Seth has seen him sing along, he even pretends to be the drummer or guitarist at times. Especially when they're listening to Korn or Metallica—the latter, Roman seems to like better than all the other artists.

"You've got him listening to metal music?" Ember's voice reveals her disbelief and…hope?

Seth looks at her, she has that 'it's too good to be true' expression etching her features. "When he lets me, he just bullies me into listening his songs most of the time." A slice of cucumber goes into his mouth.

"Probably to seduce you, it's all they ever use back home." Jey waggles his eyebrows.

Seth shakes his head, he won't even bother with Jey.

"How long have you been in Florida, Seth?" Nia has rarely said anything but it's her who asks the question.

"Nearly ten years. I left home a few months after I graduated."

"So young…" Roman's mother trails off, Seth doesn't need to be a genius to know she's prying discreetly.

Seth clears his throat, squeezing Roman's hand beneath the table. "I was, but I just needed a change. Home never really felt like home in Iowa."

"Oh?"

"Yes, it was too toxic."

"And that's why you turned into prostitution?" The interrogation hasn't stopped.

"Mama…"

"Yes," Seth admits. It's partly true anyway. "My mom, she got me into it. But I continued even…after." He doesn't want to think about his past, doesn't want to think about _her_. Shame claws at him for some reason. Is he even worthy of being at a table with these people?

"And it led you to my son."

"It—did," he croaks.

"Did Roman tell you the significance of that pendant you're wearing, Seth?" the brunet nods his head, doesn't trust himself to speak at the moment. Their table is quiet as he finds himself being questioned by the regal woman. It's like an unspoken rule, everyone listens when she talks. Which is unfortunate on Seth's end, all the attention is on him after all. "So you know you're married to him?"

No, he's been promised a proposal. Not marriage, definitely not marriage. "He told me about the…ancestors."

"Yes, to our ancestors you're practically married to my son. They recognize you as his mate, his _only_ mate. They won't acknowledge anyone who comes after."

"It's a good thing I'm not planning on going anywhere then."

The Queen's jade irises have a smile in them. "Is that so?"

"Yes, Your Highness."

"Mama."

Is the interrogation finally over? Does mama mean he passed? "Pardon?" he has to be sure.

"Call me mama, you're the future consort."

Roman squeezing his thigh again causes Seth to spare him a small glance, the warmth he finds there calms his unsteady heartbeat. He graces his boyfriend with a gentle grin, his attention going back to the Queen. "Thank you, uh—" he hesitates a little, nerves picking up again, "mama."

He receives a head nod in return, "My husband is a very busy man, unfortunately, so he couldn't make it. You will get the opportunity to meet him though, very soon, I hope."

If he's as kind as the mother, then maybe he'll do alright. "I understand…mama. It's an honor meeting you, though."

Ember releases a long sigh, "Now that the interrogation's finally over, can we get to know our cousin-in-law too?"

"It wasn't an interrogation," Naomi scoffs, "an interrogation is what I went through."

"And you had them eating out of the palm of your hands," Jimmy praises, kissing Naomi's cheek.

"How old are you again, Seth?"

Seth looks at Ember's curious eyes, "29."

"You're older than him," she cackles, reminding Seth of Dean, "ain't that something?"

"He does behave like a baby most of the time," Seth releases an amused sound at Roman's groan of disapproval, "you're my baby, though. My big cuddly insatiable baby." He whispers the words against Roman's lips before planting his lips firmly on the royal's full ones.

"Have _any_ of these ones here told you about Roman's embarrassing kid stories?" Ember has a mischievous glint in her eyes.

" _Ember_ ," Roman growls, "don't you dare."

"But I want to hear," everyone at the table cackles, some louder than others. Seth can only imagine what they look like from an outsider's eyes. Their large table, with one small woman and eight large bodies, laughing loudly.

It's well into the afternoon when lunch ends, three o'clock to be precise. Seth hugs Roman's mother again, a longer hug this time. She whispers words of wisdom into his ear and welcomes Seth into their family. She's leaving tonight so she won't be seeing him again. "If my husband cannot make it to America within the next two months, you're coming to Lanuola with my son. You need to know more about our country, traditions and customs."

Seth doesn't know what to say, he releases a quiet, "Yes, mam," leaving the small woman's embrace.

They step outside the restaurant, all of their eyes glued on the Queen as her driver opens her door for her. "Kids…don't do anything I wouldn't do," she jokes before her car drives off, fading into distance.

"So which clubs are we hitting tonight?"

Seth isn't surprised that Jey asks that question, he did say Jimmy's twin is a party animal. "Roman and I were thinking about going to the club I used to work at. It's an erotica bar—the coolest in Tampa, actually."

"Aye, The Black Vault!" Jey hollers, dancing a little.

"You've been there?"

"Yesterday," Jey admits, "it's a dope club, man. I saw some fine ass chocolate thing I want to get a taste of, maybe I'll see him again today."

Some of Jey's family laughs, the others snicker. "I'm game too. As long as the mood's chilled and the babes are hot. You used to work there Seth, any hot chicks?" Ember asks.

"I've never really paid attention to them, it's a gay bar but women go there too," Seth says, watching Ember's eyes dim a bit, "besides, name one club that doesn't have at least ten good looking people?"

"You clearly haven't been to a lot of clubs," Jey snorts.

"You guys have a good time, I'm going back to Miami. I've far more important things to do than go clubbing, like my job and my husband," Nia says, going around to give everyone warm hugs, "I enjoyed being with you lot again. We should do this more often, aunt Pat shouldn't be the only reason we get together."

"She's right," Tamina agrees, "we'll do this again sometime. But like Nia, I don't think I'll stay for the clubbing. I'll head back home with her, see how things are at work."

"Y'all acting as if we didn't know y'all were leaving. It's okay, leave and have fun—being boring," Naomi rolls her eyes.

Tamina leaves with Nia in a silver-grey Jeep. "Nine, we'll meet at the club at nine?" Roman eyes everyone.

Everyone nods, Jey saying he'll get there an hour earlier. Seth has said it, he'll say it again, Jey's middle name should've been party animal. "So?" Roman asks as he begins the drive back to the hotel.

"So?" Seth mimics teasingly.

"How was it? Anything made you feel uncomfortable?"

Seth shakes his head no. "Everyone was great, your mom is very sweet. She's way too humble to be a Queen."

Roman laughs, "What? You expected her to be mean and entitled? Throwing around orders?"

"No," Seth smacks an amused Roman's shoulder, "she just isn't what I'd expected. I love her though, she's so different from my own—" he clears his throat, "from Katherine, she's different from Katherine."

The mood shifts into a bitter one, it's not helping that radio isn't on. "Has she tried to call you again?"

"I don't know…" Seth stares out the window. "I got a missed call yesterday. I didn't know the number—it could've been her."

"And this person, they haven't called back?"

"No."

Soft lips touch his knuckles, "If it's her, I'm sure she'll call again."

"Sami made it sound like she wanted to speak to me desperately. And I'm curious too, I hate to admit that I want to know what she wants."

"There's nothing wrong with that, alofagia. If you're ready and she calls again, then you answer."

Seth peeks at his boyfriend whose entire gaze remains fixated on the road—someone this _gorgeous_ can't be human. "I love you." Roman's randomness is rubbing up on him.

 _Home,_ his heart always seems to stutter when two warm eyes turn to stare at him briefly. "I love you too, mon chou." The royal bastard's tiny wink tugs at Seth's heartstrings, he shakes his head and turns the radio on.

* * *

 

"You look gorgeous, Seth—like you always do. Can you follow me out, now?"

Seth ignores the agitation in Roman's voice and gives himself another once over in the mirror. He turns around, looking at his back, legs, his ass. "Do these jeans show off my ass enough? I feel like it's too…flat, in them, which isn't fair—I've been doing a lot of squats lately."

A sigh leaves Roman's lips, they aren't going to make it to the club on time with the way Seth is carrying on. "Your ass is fine, it's thick and round and it's mine. I don't know who else you'd want to show it off to, when I'm appreciating it just fine."

Seth strides to Roman with a toothy grin on his face, "Appreciate it you do, daddy. Alright, I'm ready. We can leave."

Roman grabs their phones, taking the hotel keycard and car keys. He gives Seth his wallet and leads them out of their suite. "I want us to reach an understanding before we get to the club—no one's touching you. Maybe your friends for platonic hugs but I don't want people to touch you."

Bambi eyes widen so much, Roman thinks they aren't far from falling out of Seth's sockets. "You're not serious!"

"I am," he says simply, walking out of the lift towards their rented car. Seth's footsteps sound from behind, he opens the brunet's car door, watching Seth roll his eyes before entering the car.

"So what if I want to dance and you don't? People touch when they dance, Roman. Am I supposed to dance on my own?"

"Yes,"

Seth laughs incredulously, "At a club? Where people grind and gyrate against each other?"

"Grind, gyrate—do you think the words you're using are helping your case?"

"My case doesn't need any helping, daddy. People dance at clubs, they touch—as long as I set boundaries."

"You're not going to do it, not in my presence."

"We'll see about that…" it's huffed out.

"We will." The car remains silent after that. Roman can't bring himself to be genuinely affected. He's just being honest with Seth, he has no desire to see him being touched by other people. He, especially, has no desire to see him grind against other people, he's seen it once with the ginger one and that one time was enough.

The music from the club is deafening, for a Tuesday night, that is. They haven't even entered the club yet but Roman can feel it reverberate in the car. Seth managed to get them parking space from the employees' parking so it's a relief that they don't have to wait with the five or so drivers waiting to park their cars with everyone else.

He gets the feeling that he's angered a doe-eyed brunet as he parks the car. Seth hasn't said anything in the twenty minutes it took them to get here but he does stay put when Roman tells him to so that he can get his door for him. Roman traps him against the car as a staring contest ensues between the two of them.

Seth eyes him with daggers in his eyes, Roman isn't sure if he's meant to feel frightened with the look thrown his way because all he feels is love for this beauty in front of him. Seth is so indecently innocent in his beauty that all Roman wants to do is throw him on this car and pound away—pound into his warmth until the brunet's screaming and begging him to stop. His cock swells in interest at his depraved thoughts and Seth looking away from him tells him the brunet knows exactly what he's thinking.

Seth tries to create some distance between them but it's futile—he's trapped. Roman gets into his space even more, his erection poking Seth's stomach. His eyes roam Seth's body—blatant hunger burning in his dark eyes. "I'm still mad at you," the words are whispered shakily by a brunet whose gaze remains turned away from him.

"I know," Roman grips the back of his neck, making Seth look at him. This man has to possess some supernatural power because how does he manage to look so depravedly angelic…blameless, almost. After _everything_ they've done, Seth still has this _innocence_ , this vulnerability about him. It's those Bambi eyes, it must be them. "And I still haven't changed my mind. You're not dancing with anyone."

Seth's eyes widen in anger but he still looks so darn innocent and sinfully celestial that it has Roman groaning. And Seth wants to blame him for not wanting other people to touch him. With all this beauty? No, the rule will remain—no one will touch Seth. No one but him. "You can't tell me what to do, Roman."

"I just did and it's not up for discussion, Seth."

Seth attempts to turn away from him again, but the grip at the back of his neck makes it impossible. "I despise your jealousy, it's…exhausting."

"It's who I am, Seth," Roman's eyes soften, "I admit that jealousy is my flaw. It's not going to change, not when it comes to you."

"Not even when you know that you're the only one I want?"

"No," Roman shakes his head, "this is not a matter of being insecure, Seth. I just don't want people touching you."

A sigh sounds above the loud music playing in the distance, "Of course, it had to be me. I had to go and fall in love with the jealous, possessive brute." Roman can tell Seth is whispering the words to himself, it makes his words funnier.

The royal cups Seth's cheeks, gazing into Bambi eyes—they make his heart flutter in love. "I'll dance with you then. The entire night if it will make you happy but you're not doing it with anyone else."

Seth rolls his eyes, a hint of a smile tugging at his lips. "Now was that so difficult?"

"It kind of was," Roman's eyebrow arches in amusement, "you threatened to gyrate and grind against other people, risking me a heart attack. Are you still mad at me?"

He gets no response so he leans down to brush his lips against Seth's parted pink ones. "You mad at me, alofagia?" his voice is smoky.

Seth gulps and blinks his eyes once, twice before looking away. Roman right hand grips his face gently so that they're looking at each other. He roams Seth's face, it feels hot beneath his touch. He hears Seth's tiny hitch when he ever so slowly gets into his face, his breath fanning the brunet's parted lips. "You're so beautiful Seth and you're mine." His tongue slides into parted lips, he holds Seth's face in place as he plunders the smaller man's mouth, rousing strangled moans and whimpers from Seth.

"You're mine, alofagia," Roman kisses Seth's forehead, "all of you belongs to me." he kisses Seth's eyebrows, his eyelids, his cheeks, "your face, those thin rosy lips, your body—that ass, what's in between your legs—it's all mine, Seth." Every inch of Seth's face, he plants his lips against, muttering words of affection and possession at the same time. "And I'm never letting you go. I love you," he whispers finally.

"I love you too."

Roman entwines their hands, leading them to where Seth points is the VIP entrance. There's quite a line, Roman's still surprised that a lot of these people party on weekdays. Don't most of them have work tomorrow?

An erotic paradise, it's the first description that tumbles in Roman's mind when they enter The Black Vault. Red and blue lights flicker in the club making the sea of bodies grinding provocatively against each other look like lewd creatures. His eyes snap to a guy wearing a thong that's barely keeping his parts intact as he moves his body sinuously, it's as if the man has no bones at all. He's dancing in a cage and when their eyes connect, the man winks at him, Roman smirks, unperturbed.

"That's Fandango, he's the best dancer we have." Seth breaks him out of his staring.

"Mhm…" he looks around. "You said your friend is working tonight, where is he?"

"First level, most likely. It's where he usually tends. Let's go." Roman allows Seth to drag him up the stairs to the first level. It's less crowded than the ground level, there's cages and strip poles on this level. "Let's find a place and then we can go to Xavier, or maybe I should start with Hunter first. I can feel their eyes on me," Seth points to the second level. Roman's met Hunter and his partner, once but outside of the club, it had just been before they left for Miami.

Hunter sits on what Roman guesses is his throne. The chair is huge, reminding him of the regal ones from home. His partner sits on his lap with his head resting on the big man's shoulder. Their eyes meet and Roman acknowledges the man with a head nod before turning away. "Is this fine?" Seth points to the VIP area he's chosen for them.

"Yeah, I don't—"

"Yo, uce! C'mere, man!" he's cut off by Jey's loud voice.

"Guess, we'll be going there then." Seth says, dragging his boyfriend to the VIP area that Jey has chosen. It's not different from the previous one, except that there's a man with flawless chocolate skin that shimmers beneath the flickering blue lights dancing on a strip pole. "That's Velveteen Dream. He's also the best dancer we have. You think Jey was talking about him earlier? He's eyeing him like an animal before it attacks it's prey."

"Could be," Roman shrugs, "man whore is what he is, after all."

Seth laughs, "You're right. I'll go talk to Hunter and Kofi, I'll come back in five, okay?"

Roman pulls Seth to him, "Remember what I said about touching," he grips Seth's hair and invades his mouth in a hard kiss.

"I know," Seth rolls his eyes once they pull back.

Roman guards his footsteps, watching Seth make his way to the second level until he's talking to Hunter and a smiling Kofi. There's something warm about the deadlocked man's smile that causes Roman's lips to stretch into a grin. He exudes kindness, like Randy's spouse. "You're beyond saving," he jeers at his cousin whose eyes follow the stripper's thong-clad ass. "Where are the others?"

"Shh," Jey waves him off, without even sparing a glance at him. "Don't interrupt me, this is very important."

Yes, that's how much of an idiot Jey is. Roman chuckles, deciding that it wouldn't do him good to interrupt his cousin's important ogling. He thinks he spots Ember's loud red hair on the dancefloor but the bodies grinding against each other make it hard to tell.

A young man in booty shorts and fluorescent skin comes to take his order. Water is what he gets, he's not going to risk drinking alcohol while he'll still be driving back to the hotel with Seth. Five minutes later and Seth is still not back, the conversation he is having with Hunter and his partner seems to be a lively non ending one but Roman can't bring himself to be irritated. He does spot Ember eventually, in between two twinks as she dances her ass off.

"Hey daddy," a smirk pulls at Roman's lips.

He gives Seth a raised eyebrow, "So you're finally giving me your attention?" a guttural groan leaves him when Seth sits on his lap and wiggles his ass around.

"You always have my attention daddy, always."

"Is that so?" he asks, nibbling on a mewling Seth's earlobe.

"Mhm," Roman holds Seth's hips in place and pumps into a jean-clad ass, trying to relieve his throbbing cock. Seth's breathy moans only make him harder—his dick's turning into a steel pole, it's not helping his case that Seth keeps grinding on his front. "Shit, Ro—daddy," it's strangled.

"Wiggle that ass, Seth. I want to feel it against my dick." Roman's head falls back on the couch, a low growl escaping him. The friction is fan-fucking-tastic, all he can think about is pounding Seth. Right now if he has to. He grips Seth's hips forcing him up only to turn him around so that the brunet is straddling him. "Dance for me, baby." He rumbles, eyes darkened with lust.

Seth complies, moving his sexy body seductively on top of him. Roman licks his lips, hands gripping two round buns firmly. The friction of their erections rubbing together has them both panting into each other's lips. The way Seth nibbles on his bottom lip has Roman growling and replacing it with his own. The atmosphere between the two of them feels like hellfire, their surroundings are forgotten. All Roman knows is Seth is seducing the fuck out of him with the way he moves his body, the way he rolls his hips and how he feels like he's in heaven every time their cocks brush against each other.

"I think I'm thirsty, daddy." The words are breathy, panted into Roman's ear.

"I'll give you something to drink," Roman chuckles. He grips Seth's face, fixating on parted lips and dilated pupils. The blue lights illuminate the beautiful creature he gets to call his, Roman can't resist brushing his lips against Seth's cheeks, teasing the corners of his lips. Seth shudders on top of him, his eyes fluttering shut. "Are you…thirsty, Seth?"

He receives a wordless response, a frantic head nod from a brunet whose eyes are still shut tight. A smirk pulls at the corner of his lips, Roman grips Seth's hair—forcing the brunet to bare his neck. He hears Seth's tiny moans when his lips latch to Seth's neck. Roman feasts on that sensitive part, he bites and licks and marks and claims, unashamedly. Seth is still grinding on top of him and Roman can feel himself leaking inside his pants, it's not a good predicament to be in.

"WAIT, GODDAM-IT! Let me talk to him!" things have reached an explosive sensual heat between Seth and himself when he hears the words being shouted. He feels Seth freeze on top of him, he can tell their hot session is nearing it's end because even he could tell who spoke the words. Even though it sounded agitated, Roman could still hear the delicacy that is always found in Seth's friend's voice. It's the one with the mood swings who'd shouted the words—Xavier, Randy's partner.

"That's Xavier," Seth whispers what he already knew. "Why is he shouting?"

Roman groans, his dick is still hard but Seth's already moving off his lap. After he somewhat clears his lust fogged mind, Roman notices that there is a commotion. He spots two groups of bouncers, leading two separate men down to the ground level. He can't be sure but the man being led by the second pair of guards looks like Xavier's man. It has to be with the way Xavier rushes down the stairs, following them, still in his uniform.

"—ong, Roman!" Seth snaps him out of it. "I said something's wrong, I need to check on Xavier!" He's still being shouted at, he's too slow apparently. Seth drags him out of his chair, practically pushing everyone away to get to the stairs.

The air seems charged with dangerous energy when they step outside, having followed the flock of people who can't mind their own business. Seth still has his hand gripped tightly as he pushes through the crowd. "Xavier!" Seth lets go of his hand, immediately rushing to his tearful looking friend who's being held back by two men the size of Manuia. The small man is a spitfire that keeps trying to pull out of the hold even though he's wasting his time.

Roman watches Xavier's eyes widen, salty liquid finally falling down his cheeks when his eyes clash with Seth's. "Seth! T-they don't want me t-to get to him. Tell them to l-let me g-go."

"What happened? Xavier—excuse me, let him go, you're twice his size!" Seth screams at the bouncers. Is it wrong for him to feel proud of his own spitfire at a time like this, because Roman is. The big idiots' arms and imposing bodies disappear from Xavier immediately Seth snaps that they let him go.

"AAAH! HE'S BREAK—STOP HIM! Somebody fucking stop him!" an anguished shriek penetrates the air sharply. The man's screams send shivers down Roman's spine—he can literally feel his pain. He turns his head in the direction from which the words were screamed, watching as a muscled man lying on the ground with his right arm drawn behind him screams his lungs out in sheer agony.

It's Randy who has the man's arm twisted behind his back and with the way he's pulling, he isn't far from breaking the man's arm. His pale blue eyes look menacing…sadistic, almost. Randy looks heartless, the man's screams only seem to please him as he pulls harder, drawing even more agonized screams.

The only time that Roman catches _something_ flicker in his eyes is when a shaken Xavier kneels in front of him. There's still a circle of people watching the altercation but Xavier's attention is on Randy. "Randy…" the dark skinned man croaks. Roman is assuming Randy hasn't heard a word because he remains lethal, pulling on the now whimpering man's arm. "Ran…Randall." Roman's surprised Xavier is saying that name. He's seen how Randy snaps at Dean or anyone who calls him Randall.

"Randall, look at me." Xavier's voice trembles, his tears an overflowing river. "Please Randall…" the words are accompanied by a hand running down Randy's left arm.

Roman watches Randy let his guard down. It happens when the cold-eyed man turn his attention to Xavier's quivering eyes. Randy tilts his head to the side before looking back at the man whose screams seem to have burned his voice. "He made you uncomfortable, doll. He forcefully propositioned you even after you told him no. He needs to be punished."

"Not t-this way. You're going to break his arm, Randy."

"Let it break," the cold tone leaves a chill in the air. Even with the small distance, Roman can tell Randy means it.

"It's violence, Randy. You know I don't like violence, please."

Randy looks torn, Roman thinks the cold-eyed man really thinks violence is the solution. But when Randy gazes into Xavier's eyes, they soften, his pale blue eyes soften so much with emotions Roman wasn't even aware the man could show. "He hasn't apologized, doll. Remember, you told me apologies."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Just, shit, I'm sorry, okay?" a string of apologies fall of the bound man's lips.

"There, he's said it. Now, let him go!" Xavier urges.

A whimper slips past the bound man's lips when Randy pulls one final time, harshly, before letting go. "Fucking bastard, he's fucking crazy!" the formerly bound man wheezes, holding onto his arm. The crowd seems to dissipate when the 'action' ends.

It's probably after four or five people remain that Roman remembers Seth. He looks around to find the love of his life walking towards him, an unreadable expression on his face. Roman hugs the smaller man close, kissing his forehead softly. "You okay?" Seth gives a wordless nod, nose rubbing up and down Roman's chest.

Roman watches Xavier settle on a seated Randy's lap, both men don't seem to mind that they're on the ground. Xavier kisses a blank Randy's temple, sighing against the older man. "Randall Keith Orton," Xavier's voice cracks. Maybe he's developing a bad tendency of feeling the wrong emotions at the wrong time because there's something about the way Xavier says Randy's name that has Roman wanting to cackle—it's a bad, bad idea. "What am I going to do with you?"

Randy's arms encircle Xavier's waist, his left hand resting on the dark skinned man's stomach, Roman swears he sees Xavier stiffening but he can't be sure. "I'm not going to apologize this time, doll. The man was _touching_ you, he thought he had a right to your body. I should've broken that arm."

"I wouldn't have forgiven you if you did. I _hate_ violence, Randy. You wouldn't have been better than…them. Is that what you want?"

"I think that maybe we should give them their space," Seth breaks him away from his eavesdropping. Roman looks at him, his expression clearly asking if they have to. "You're hopeless," Seth shakes his head at his boyfriend's boyish grin. "Look, I'll go tell them a quick goodbye and then we're leaving." The warmth that was previously visible on Randy's face disappears—piercing glare stealing the spotlight. The apathetic man holds Xavier tighter, in a protective hold, when Seth stops in front of them.

The tears that were in Xavier's eyes have long disappeared, he looks serene, but still a little stiff too. Roman isn't sure what Seth is saying to the younger man but Xavier gets a gentle grin on his face. He looks so delicate in Randy's towering body. Roman briefly wonders what attracted the young man to a man as cold as Randy when all Xavier exudes is warmth. The two couldn't be more different, but it still looks like they balance each other—yin and yang, he thinks to himself.

"Let's go," Roman smiles down at Seth and nods his head. He gives the two men seated on the ground a head nod before turning on his heels to follow Seth to the employees' parking. He remembers that he's leaving without having said goodbye to his cousins, he'll just send them messages. Besides, Jey had been preoccupied with the twerking stripper and Ember—he isn't sure what happened to her.

It's close to midnight when they enter the Presidential suite. "What a day!" Seth throws himself on the bed and stares at the ceiling. He allows Roman to pull him up the bed and place him on his waist so that he's straddling him.

"Did your friend tell you what happened?" Roman runs his hands up and down Seth's thighs.

"I thought you eavesdropped in on the entire thing," Seth teases.

"No," Roman shakes his head.

"I didn't get much with Randy plotting my murder with his eyes but that man, he behaved like most of the assholes at the club behave. The entitled son of a bitch couldn't take no for an answer when Xavier turned him down. He groped Xavier when Xav was going to the bathroom. Randy, of course, saw the whole thing. He spends almost all his time at the club when he's not at the hospital. He lost it, he's probably the most volatile person I know."

"And this has happened to you too, correct?"

"A few times," Seth admits, "a few days before I met you, there was a…guy. He wouldn't take no for an answer. The papers were already linking me to you and he laughed at me, told me he wonders what you'd say if you knew I was a whore."

"It's your past, I don't care about that. You're mine now and I love you the way you are."

"Really?"

"Yes, alofagia."

A gracious smile etches Seth's face, he strokes Roman's beard. "Randy, the last time he behaved like he did tonight was two years ago. You have no idea how many men proposition Xavier, some even fetishize him. It's disgusting, the things they say to him sometimes. That entitlement that they feel they have to our bodies because we work at an erotica bar."

"Hunter, does he do anything about it?"

"The bouncers are available, you know. But these ones from tonight, I'm guessing they're new because the old ones knew never to keep Xavier away from Randy when a fight happens. He's broken limbs before. Twice, the first time he broke the man's wandering hands. The other time he broke someone's leg."

"I don't condone the violence but I would've done the same Seth. If someone touched you or ever made you feel uncomfortable, I wouldn't hesitate to hurt them. I wouldn't want you to feel unsafe at work."

"Yeah, daddy?"

Roman nods without the slightest hesitation, "Yeah."

"My hero," Seth places a soft kiss on warm lips.

"I'm so glad you're away from this kind of life Seth. Where all these people think they're entitled to you—because of where you work, your past. No one's entitled to you, no one."

"No one except you, right?"

Roman chuckles against Seth's lips, his hand travel to grip Seth's waist possessively. "Damn right, no one but me. Only me, your jealous possessive brute." Roman growls, playfully biting on Seth's bottom lip.

Seth cups his cheeks, giving him a look of adoration. "I love you."

Roman's heart melts every time he hears those words. He doesn't think he'll ever get over how surreal those words still sound to him. "I love you too," he returns, flipping them so that he can show Seth how much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, you guys! It's been a whiiiiile! I'm sorry, but I still have my preliminary exams. And need to prepare for my final ones. I was going to post this yesterday but I got held up but here it is. Not gonna lie, I missed this story. Lol, I read it sometimes.

"You know what I really hate, Mr. Seth?"

Seth doesn't immediately respond to the question aimed at him, too distracted by the many sounds filling the playground, of little kids basking in their innocence, of teenagers cherishing their youth and of cheerful adults finding joy in starting anew. "No, Michael. But I'd like you to tell me, though." He spares the mocha skinned teenage boy a glance, lips stretching into a small grin at how Michael's cheeks hollow. He's not sure if the sixteen year old even knows he does that when he's thinking really hard about something.

"Well you know I'm trans, right?" Seth nods affirmative. "And you know that I like boys."

"Yes."

Michael pauses his swinging, hands unclasping from the metal of the swings. "What do you think about that?"

"About you being a trans boy and still liking boys?" At Michael's confirmation, Seth continues, "You're attracted to who you're attracted to, Mikey. You shouldn't allow anyone to tell you otherwise."

"And you don't think it's dumb of me to want to transition…when I'm older. Because I'll still like boys. You don't think I should remain a _girl_?"

"The way you said that last word is answer enough," the distaste in Michael's voice was unmasked. "But I can't tell you what to do, Mikey. In your heart, you know what's right for you. That's what you should do, what you feel is right for you."

Michael sighs, swinging resuming. "I know, Mr. Seth, it's just those meatheads and their dumb Instagram girlfriends at school…they're always blabbing. They call me the dike who wants the dick. Most of the time, I laugh at their stupidity but sometimes it gets to me, you know?"

Not really, but he has an idea, he's had to deal with being ridiculed for most of his life.

"I want to bash their faces in when they talk about my ma. It's like you can come at me all you want but don't drag my mom into it. It's the reason, I almost got suspended today. That stupid Alex Matthews, he's a Senior, thought he could fuck with me. I messed him up pretty bad."

"That's nothing to be proud of, it almost got you into trouble."

"Duh, I know that but Alex is the loudest among those brainless muscleheads. He calls me tranny in the halls, tells me I'm retarded for wanting to be a boy when I like boys. I'm a confused little _girl,_ apparently."

"Maybe, you can educate them then?"

Michael's frown tells Seth he's not swayed on the suggestion. "And do their jobs for them? Hell no, I don't think so, Mr. Seth. I'm not going to teach a bunch of dumb jocks and their girlfriends about the complexity of gender and sexuality, it's not my fault they're ignorant bigots."

"All I'm saying, Michael, is that no one can make a confused person understand better than the one who is in the situation itself. You're trans, you like boys and these schoolmates of yours are maybe too confused to understand how that's possible because they feel that you should be attracted to girls. It could be why they call you a lesbian even though you're not. People usually hate what they don't understand and since you know yourself better than anyone, you could make them understand about your sexuality. And if they're still 'ignorant bigots' well at least you know you tried."

"I don't know, Mr. Seth…" Michael looks at war.

"It's a suggestion, Mikey. But if you don't like it then the alternative is to inform your teachers. No one has a right to bully you for who you are or who you're attracted to."

"I prefer to let my fists do all the informing but I'll give your advise some thought."

Naomi is walking towards the swings, looking simplistically beautiful in black leggings and a black tank top. Her hair is tied neatly into a bun, it's the first time Seth's seeing her with her hair made up like that. Seth turns away from her, a pleased grin pulling at his lips at Michael's words.

"Check you later then, greet our boyfriend for me, will ya?" Seth shakes his head in amusement, watching Michael walk away before he can respond. It's silly how hard he's crushing on Roman.

"Hey Naomi," he greets as the vivacious woman settles on the swing Michael had been occupying.

"Boo thang, it's been a while."

"It has," Seth agrees. The last time he saw Naomi was two weeks ago, when they were all in Tampa, for _that_ meeting. "Did you come here alone? Where's Leilani?"

"She left with my mom for the weekend. They're going to Disney World, for a bit of fun. They'll return late Sunday."

"That's awesome. I hope your mom can keep up with her, though, Leilani isn't human, with all that energy."

Naomi laughs loudly, "My mom behaves worse than Leilani. It's all to reassure herself that she isn't growing old."

"Well I don't blame her…it sucks growing old."

"Tell me about it," Naomi agrees. There's a mirthful sparkle in her eyes as she looks at Seth, "You guys have outdone yourselves, by the way. This place is beautiful, I swear I thought I'd lost my way and gone to heaven when I stepped out of my car. Y'all managed to balance things out for everyone."

"It's all on the project manager and her team, really. But everyone was impressed at the opening. The kids couldn't contain their happiness," Seth tells Naomi. She hadn't attended the foundation's opening which was a week ago because she had to take care of a then sick Leilani.

"I'm amazed too, this place may as well be Disney World."

"Like I said, Leonie and her team, they worked their magic."

"Roman mentioned you writing your first exam today, how was it?"

"I don't know if I'm allowed to say it was quite…easy? The study group I have with a few friends from college makes it easier."

"That's great, well good luck on the remaining ones too."

Seth gives Naomi a small smile, "Thanks Naomi."

"Take me on a tour of this place, I want to see all it's amazingness."

No complaint leaves Seth's lips as Naomi drags him away from the swings for the indoors. He tells her to pause at a vending machine though to grab a packet of chips, water and two Snickers bars. He's hungry and hasn't had a decent meal in nearly two hours.

"Your dance studio is bigger than I thought," Seth sits on sparkling beige floors, opening his chocolate bar while watching amusedly as Naomi looks around the large dance studio. "Have you guys began using it?"

"They do. But there are classes, we have one in an hour, at four. Ballet for the kindergartners."

"I see," Naomi does a little twirl, gracefully, might Seth add. "And how flexible are you, Sethie?"

"A bit, I…think," the mischievousness he'd heard in Naomi's voice makes him a bit antsy.

"Let's dance together then. C'mon, get off the ground, I'll teach you a few moves."

Seth wants to accept the proposal, the only problem is he's not sure if his feet will comply. He's been having jelly legs a lot lately. "Maybe another time, Naomi. I don't feel too good at the moment." It's not a lie. He feels ill, for some reason, the room suddenly feels like a sauna. All he wants to do at the moment is lie down—in his bedroom, with the AC on and the balcony doors open. _It's too hot._

Naomi's expression is one he hasn't the energy to decipher at the moment. But he's grateful that she doesn't try to change his mind. She dances on her own instead, playing a song he recognizes from when he was working at The Black Vault. Rihanna's sultry voice sounds in the studio as Naomi dances to the song 'You Da One'.

"I need to refill my water," he tells her, getting off the ground. _One step at a time, Seth_. It's his mental lecture as he strides towards the tap. After getting a fill of the cold water, he refills his bottle again before going back to perch himself in his original place—the ground.

"You okay, boo thang? You look…parched…sick?"

"I'm fine, it's just…I got on the, um, birth control pill." He can feel his body reheating again, only it's in embarrassment this time. Naomi does, of course, know that he can get pregnant. The media made sure everyone knows, but still, it feels strange to talk about. He feels like he's admitting to having an active sex life somehow. And that makes him feel funny.

Gosh he's turning into Xavier….

"What? It's making you sick?"

"You could say that," he shrugs, offering his unfinished Snickers bar to Naomi. "Dr. Baldwin explained the side effects but I thought I could handle it. And I can, but no one enjoys having nausea and dizziness and headaches."

"Did you tell Roman?"

"He knows, overreacted about the whole thing too. He wanted us to go back to the hospital but I thought it would be better if we waited a month at least. It's only been two weeks, we have another two to go."

"Well there are other birth control tools Seth, if this one's not working then you can try out the other ones."

"I know…and I will. But I'd still like to give it a chance first, it hasn't even been _that long._ "

"If you say so," Naomi doesn't look convinced or impressed.

"So how's Jimmy?" Seth decides it would probably be better to discuss something else.

Naomi gives him that chiding look she loves so much, but answers nonetheless. "He's fine, a bit fun too…when your workaholic asshole, I mean boyfriend…" Seth has to chortle with her at that. "I'm just joking, work's been keeping him busy but he's fine. It's Jey, who's having the time of his life. Did Roman tell you that he's still in Tampa?"

"Mhm," Seth confirms, "he's enchanted by one of the dancers at the club, apparently. I think I have an idea who it is." Seth remembers Jey leaving with Velveteen Dream to the private rooms, just before the drama with Xavier and Randy.

"It's all well and good as long as the guy knows that Jey isn't looking for a relationship. Monogamy is a foreign concept to Jey."

"I know people like that, a couple of years ago, a neighbor of mine had two boyfriends. It seemed to work well for all of them."

"I don't think it's like that with Jey, to be honest. I know I said he doesn't understand monogamous relationships but I think he's just scared. Of falling in love."

"Oh…?"

"Mhm, after Tyler, I mean I know he never actually dated the guy because well…of obvious reasons. He couldn't go after his cousin's boyfriend but still…Tyler's death hit him pretty hard. At least, that's what Jimmy told me."

Seth stares at first, for a full minute, he's too shocked to respond to Naomi. Why would she tell him this? And the dark skinned woman looks totally unperturbed. As if she hasn't just spilled a bomb to him about how Jey had been in love with his cousin's boyfriend.

"Tyler…Roman's Tyler?" he asks, dumbly.

"You didn't know?" Naomi's big round eyes widen, she snaps her fingers in agitation. "Shit! Of course you didn't know. I got a big mouth, Seth. I thought you knew."

"It's okay, Naomi," Seth tries to assure her. "I already knew about Tyler. I'm just…shocked. A-About Jey, I didn't…I didn't," he shakes his head, trying to wrap his head around the whole situation. "So Jey was in love with Tyler too, huh?" He doesn't like the way his insides twist nastily, it's the telltale signs of jealousy. What is it about this Tyler that was so special that he was wanted by not one but _two_ members of the same family?

"Uh…maybe I shouldn't—"

Naomi's hesitation irks him. "You've already told me Naomi. It's no use hiding it."

"Look, I don't know much, okay?" Naomi sighs, "But Jimmy told me this long ago. I wasn't dating him long, maybe a couple of months. We were eighteen, and Jey and Roman, they didn't get along much back then so Jimmy told me why. There, that's all I know."

Their conversation is over, Seth knows it. Naomi's tone leaves no room for further questioning. And he doesn't try to persuade her to change her mind. "Fine, I'll ask Roman then," he tests the waters to see if it would be possible. Naomi's only response is a stiff shrug of the shoulders. Good, it's all the go-ahead he needs.

***

Roman has been home for over three hours and Seth has been trying to gather the courage to ask the man about Tyler. While Roman has been slowly opening up, Seth came to the realization—long after Naomi had left—that he doesn't know much about Tyler. All he knows is that the boy died at sixteen, breaking Roman's heart in the process, but that's about it.

And Seth will admit that he's curious. He wants to know more about the boy who managed to steal the hearts of two relatives, brothers. The brunet is still finding it hard to believe that Roman and Jey hadn't the best of relationships once. The two are so close, he sees how much Roman loves his cousin every time Roman talks about him. It's all very confusing.

"What are you thinking so hard about?"

Roman's voice sounds deeper than usual, there's an underlying amusement in it too. It brings an unforced smile to Seth's face but calms not the thoughts sounding in his mind. They are all uncoordinated and too loud that he can't even pick one to concentrate on. "I'm not thinking hard," he lies.

"Then why are you pulling on my beard? And why is your right eyebrow arched so high?"

Dammit!

Curse Roman for knowing his absentminded habits. Seth blinks up at him before turning his gaze to the documentary playing on the TV. It's one about a serial killer, now if he could only remember what the serial killer's name is. His thoughts really are all over the place today. Ever since Naomi…

"Tyler," his mind rushes to his mouth.

Roman stiffens, silence growing longer by the second, it isn't far from transitioning into tension. "What about him?" Roman asks through clenched teeth.

"And…Jey," Seth says carefully, voice a whisper.

The silence is longer, much longer. The TV sounds too loud to Seth's ears, everything feels to loud. In the wake of the uncomfortable silence, Seth thinks he can hear every little sound. He remains completely still, eyes locked on the TV even though it's proving difficult to concentrate with the chilly atmosphere his words have caused.

"Who told you?" Roman asks quietly…too composed.

"Does it matter?"

"Naomi," Roman says matter-of-factly. But there's a darkness in the way he says Naomi's name. Seth finds himself thinking that maybe bringing this up was a mistake. Maybe he should've just kept silent. Which is what he'll do now. No more asking, not tonight. "I should've known. She couldn't keep out of people's personal affairs if you paid her to."

"She didn't mean to," Seth defends. "We were talking about Jey and she thought that he's the way he is because…" No, Seth decides he isn't going to continue. He isn't even sure how Roman feels about Jey having feelings for Tyler.

"Because he fell in love with Tyler. It's okay, I can handle it." Roman has moved away from the couch, but he's standing besides Seth, towering over him, expression unreadable.

"Look, we can drop it, Roman. I shouldn't have pried, I'm sorry."

"Why? You want to know, don't you?" Roman asks sarcastically. He walks away from Seth and paces in front of the TV, muttering incoherent words that Seth's ringing ears can't hear. Pausing, the royal gives Seth a once over before holding his hand out. "Come."

Seth accepts the offered hand with a heavy heartbeat, he doesn't know where Roman's taking them. Anticipation causes his vacant hand to shake as they make their way upstairs. They stop at a door in the hallway that Seth knows all too well. He passes it everyday on his way to his bedroom, and has only ever been inside it once. That night he lost his way and entered it by mistake.

Roman opens the door, guiding him inside. The first thing that Seth thinks is that it's _huge,_ much larger than he thought on that night. Everything in Roman's room is elegant, the bed is huge, draped in black bedsheets. The color coordination of the room is mostly black, there are a few white items here and there but it's too clean…clinical, almost.

"That day of the press conference, I apologized to you. Do you remember what I said?"

Roman's voice is controlled. The royal has his back turned away from him too. It makes Seth uneasy but he still answers, "Yes."

"My mom is Italian. Tyler is Italian. His mom's Italian. When he was fifteen, he left Italy to live with us. It was after _Ariana_ died. My mama and that— _whore,_ they grew up together. They grew apart when mama moved to Lanuola. Ariana was a prostitute much like your mother, I guess. Too toxic, bringing her lovers around Tyler. Tyler never went to school, he spent his days locked indoors. And when he came to us, he was skittish and scared. The world seemed like a big terrifying place to him, he was too innocent, too…troubled."

"He loved animals, loved creating stories about what the small ones like insects were saying. And Do-nald Duck, after school, I'd rush home to watch it with him. I don't blame Jey for falling in love with him. Tyler was a ray of sunlight, he was the entire universe. After…" there's an undeniable pain in Roman's voice. It raises and drops, sometimes coming out strangled as if the man is struggling to breathe. But throughout all this, Seth remains rooted to his spot. He knows Roman needs the space, it's how he opens up easier. "Jey was angry at me for nearly three years after Tyler died. He blamed me for it, blamed me for not showing Tyler enough love that he killed himself. He regrets not going after Tyler. He'd rub it in my face all the time, how he would've loved Tyler better than I ever could."

"We reconciled though, after. Maybe he realized that Tyler's mom had done too much damage that Tyler thought he didn't deserve love. Or maybe, he realized that just like him, Tyler's death hurt me too. But I understand him, I got to love Tyler. I held him in my arms and made unfulfilled plans with him, we talked about our future. I knew what it was it like to love him and to hold him and to kiss him. Jey never got any of that. My pain will never compare to his."

"Well I don't agree, Roman. I think your pain is just as valid. Both of you are entitled to feel hurt without bashing the other or invalidating your feelings. You both lost a loved one. And I think that talking about it could help you, both of you. If you talked about Tyler and what his loss meant to both of you."

"Do you want to see his picture?" Roman's ignored what he's said. He can be very evasive when he wants to and Seth is disappointed that he's surprised at the royal's actions.

"Uh…sure," he tries to keep his own hurt out of his voice.

Stepping forward, he accepts a framed picture with shaky hands. Seth looks at the picture of a boy with stunning blond hair and ocean blue eyes that appear to be drowning, in happiness but the eyes look set too, in non ending sadness. "Hey, Tyler." He whispers, unsure of what else to say.

Roman takes the picture from him, looks at it, before returning it to the bedside table. Seth finds himself feeling grateful that he has never slept in this bedroom. He's not even sure if Roman ever got over his feelings for the dead boy. He won't think about, it's too uncomfortable to think about.

A heavy sigh sounds in the quiet room, Seth looks at a lost Roman. He runs a hand down the royal's right arm, hands entwining at the bottom. "How about we call it a night?"

"Okay," Roman accepts too easily. It's just gone after ten and they usually sleep a little later but Seth figures sleeping an hour or two extra won't do them no harm.

Seth wakes up later that night, when he feels a commotion beside him. He should've known that talking about Roman's past would trigger the dreams. The ones that he pays for with his body. Seth finds himself pinned beneath Roman, whose breathing is too heavy, ragged and his face wet with sweat. It's too dark for him to see anything clearly, but Roman's eyes seem darker to him. The haunted look in them sends shivers down his spine and his heart to beat faster.

He feels Roman's cock at his entrance, they both sleep naked so it's easy access. Seth's voice cracks when Roman shoves into him in one go. Breathing is his point of focus once Roman begins moving inside him. It's the hardest and roughest he's ever been taken, Roman is merciless in his fucking. He's groaning, his hands bruising Seth's skin. "Why Tyler? Why did you do it?!" It's growled out, low and wretched, hand on Seth's throat tightening. "You killed me, Tyler." Roman chokes out, going harder— _punishing._

The pain is verging on unbearable, Seth feels it everywhere. He squeezes his eyes shut, he's not going to look at Roman, not when he's like this. Each thrust is deep, sharp and sends agony to his lower back. "Please, slow down, Roman," Seth struggles to get the words out, unsure if Roman's even heard him.

Large hands still grip his body, digging into his skin. Seth clasps the bedsheets tighter with each painful thrust, body trembling. Roman tenses on top of him, gripping Seth's neck in an iron hold. "AAA-AAH!" Seth cracks out as Roman holds him in place by his hair, warm essence coating his insides before a large body collapses on top of him. Seth breathes slowly, eyes blurry and body sweaty. He's in pain and would love more than anything to have Roman's body weight off of him but he slowly wraps his arms around Roman's hot back briefly.

He holds back a pained whimper when Roman pulls out of him, resting beside him. Seth moves slowly to rest on his side, turning away from Roman. He bites on his bottom lip, eyes fixated on the 02:17 flashing on the bedside clock. Like earlier, there are too many thoughts swimming in his head. A part of him is disappointed that this happened—again. And then there's another part that's telling him he's helping Roman deal with his pain, to fight the ghosts of the past.

He's undecided on which side to believe…

There's a stirring beside him again, but this time he feels Roman's weight leave the bed. Seth remains completely silent, eyes finding the bedside clock again. 02:49, it now reads. It surprises Seth, he must've been too in thought to not realize how much the time has passed. He readjusts himself on the bed, bringing the covers up to his waist.

Roman spends ten minutes in the bathroom before he comes back. The room is still pitch black when Seth hears the closet door open. He tries to listen to what Roman is doing but the royal is a master at working in silence. It's only when he hears the sound of a belt buckle that Seth gets an idea on what Roman's plans are.

He's leaving.

The man's just wrecked his body and now he's leaving. Seth refuses to let his heart crack, he won't even look in Roman's direction. And even though he won't look, Seth does feel Roman's eyes on him. It's bordering on creepy because the room is still pitch dark and Seth isn't sure what the man's looking for.

He closes his eyes, feigning sleep when the bed dips on his side, the royal's scent assaulting him. He's still being looked at, Seth can feel Roman's eyes boring into him but not once does he open his eyes. Roman's light touch causes his heart to stumble—in so many emotions. The royal's fingers travel from his eyebrows to his jaw, feather lightly.

"Prick," Seth says quietly, sadly, when the door closes. The room feels too big, after Roman leaves...too empty. Seth decides he doesn't care. Now if only he could lie to himself enough to believe it.

* * *

 

"Roman?"

Bayley's sounds way too chirpy to Roman, he wants to be annoyed by it. But he's not that childish, it's not her fault he's in a sour mood. So he looks away from the view in his office, giving all his attention to Bayley instead. "What is it?"

"Seth's on the line. Your cell's off, apparently."

"Tell him I'm busy," he says thoughtlessly.

Bayley's brief frown transitions into a fake smile, "On it."

Running away from his problems is cowardly but Roman's learning a few things about himself. Perhaps he should add coward to the list. It's just he doesn't think he can talk to Seth at the moment. The guilt is already drowning him and talking to Seth will only add to it. Yes, he's avoiding Seth because of his own selfish reasons. Guess that's another trait he's adding to his list, selfish.

He's been in the office for more than ten hours, it's nearing three in the afternoon now. He'd only taken one meeting at ten that Manuia had to take over. Distracted seems to be his name today. The only thing that he has been thinking about is Seth, more so than usual, and not with the distracted smile that he normally gets when he thinks about the smaller man.

He'd thought about Jey too. His cousin's still in Tampa, he met a stripper he's taken a liking to. He'd almost taken Seth's advice to talk about Tyler but decided against it near the end of his conversation with Jey. Despite what Seth said, Roman still thinks that his pain could never compare to Jey's. His cousin has to grieve the loss of someone who was never his. Jey will always spend his life wondering what if…

But Roman has his own 'what ifs' torturing him. That he's still not ready to talk about. After so long and he's still not ready. Especially not to a shrink, it would only open up a can of worms. Roman sighs, headed back to his desk. "Bayley, where is Manuia?" he asks, when his assistant's chirpy voice sounds in his ears, again.

"He'd left with Tamina, an hour ago. I'll ring him, see if he's back."

"Thank you. Tell him, I need to see him, please."

"Okay, anything else?"

"No, thank you." Roman moves to fixate on the view again. Maybe it's time he had one of those one on ones with Manuia again. It's been too long.

"All hail the lion of Sasa'e!" Manuia's voice is also too happy for Roman's liking.

"Cut it out," he turns to face his bodyguard.

Manuia chuckles, "I'm kidding. O a mai oe?"

"I'm fine, Manuia."

"Alright," Manuia settles on the chair across Roman's desk. The smell of greasy food reaches Roman's nostrils. He settles on his chair and accepts the takeaway from Manuia. He hasn't had food the whole day and his stomach is already growling in anticipation. "You called."

Roman stalls by taking a bite of his Bacon burger, he swallows, taking a sip of his soda before finally answering, "I did."

"Okay…care to tell me why?"

"Do you still get the…dreams?"

Manuia remains quiet at first, he's trying to figure out why Roman is asking. Why now? Roman tries for an expressionless smile, tries to be as unperturbed as possible under the scrutiny. "I do," Manuia replies hesitantly.

"Cool…" Roman clears his throat, to keep it from betraying him. "And how do you deal with them? Bobby, does he know?"

"What's going on Roman? Are your dreams troubling you?"

"Nothing's going on. Just asking, brother."

Manuia doesn't believe him, with good reason. "Usually it's hard to get you to open up about anything. And now you're…just asking? Don't bullshit me, Your Highness."

"I just want to know Manuia. Answer or drop it, I don't mind either."

"There's no need to be so defensive. Something's wrong with you…"

"Naomi told Seth about Jey."

"Okay," Manuia gives him a confused expression before understanding reaches him. " _Oh_. What happened then?"

"I had a bad dream."

"And Seth found out?" Roman nods his head, distracting himself by eating his burger again. "Well, for me, Bobby already knew about my past. He helps me with my dreams, talks to me about them. It gets easier when I talk to him. Why? You thinking of telling Seth about the suicide?"

"He already knows."

"Okay, that's good. It means you're talking to him, right?"

Roman forgets that Manuia doesn't know the full details about Tyler's death. He doesn't know how Tyler— _no._ If he can't even reveal everything to Manuia, how the hell will he ever reveal everything to Seth? "I talk to him." He sighs. _But sometimes I shut down and end up hurting him._ The words burn his tongue, they want to leave his mouth desperately but they don't. He's too ashamed, too scared, too…selfish. "Thank you for coming, Manuia. I think I have everything figured out."

Manuia examines him with a curious eyebrow, "You don't want to talk about anything else?"

"No," Roman lies cowardly.

"Are you sure?"

Of course, Manuia knows him too well. "Yes," he lies again, poised as ever despite the storm brewing within him.

Manuia nods his head, albeit hesitantly, "Alright, brother."

Roman tries to keep his relaxed façade throughout his entire session with Manuia. The big man leaves eventually, telling Roman about something he has to do with Bobby. Roman hadn't been listening to know what it is the two will be doing. There's nothing to do for the rest of the day, all his meetings had been cancelled so he allows himself to be totally immersed in his thoughts. The hours go by, but he shows no signs of going home. He just needs a bit of a breather, to collect his thoughts. And to come up with a solution…

***

At nine thirty, Roman finally finds himself at home. The lights are off, leaving only the sound of the TV that he hears as soon as he enters the house. Roman follows the noise of the TV, finding the lights turned on in the living room. Seth sits on the couch, legs crossed, in nothing but Roman's button up. Roman recognizes it as his favorite one. He got it from his mom as a gift last Christmas.

Normally he'd reprimand Seth for wearing that shirt but _something_ about the look in Seth's eyes tells him not to. The aura Seth gives off is one of barely contained anger. A tub of chocolate ice-cream sits on Seth's thighs. Roman walks with cautious steps towards him, taking in the mess on the coffee table. A mess of chocolate wrappers, chips packets and other junk food litters the glass table.

"Evening," he greets quietly. Seth issues no response, Roman can feel the brunet's anger. "I'm sorry for arriving late," he wraps an arm around Seth's shoulder and buries his face into heavenly smelling brown hair. Roman kisses Seth's brown mane, going for his neck when the brunet pulls away.

"I'm going to bed, clean up this mess." Seth says nothing else, he walks away with the tub of ice-cream, but not before giving Roman one hell of a stare down.

Roman sighs, deciding to obey the instruction given to him. After cleaning up, the royal heads upstairs, silent in his footsteps. He finds Seth perched on the bed, nose scrunched up, shoving a spoonful of ice-cream into his mouth. The cold dairy doesn't seem to perturb Seth who keeps shoving spoon after spoon into his mouth.

"We need to talk, Seth." Roman breaks the uncomfortable silence, he joins Seth on the bed after he's removed his work clothes. He still gets no response, it stirs something within him…agitation. "Seth?" again he gets no response. Roman can feel the agitation growing into something else. He grinds his teeth together. "Are you going to ignore me, now?! And you call me childish," his jaw tightens.

"I don't know why you're angry, I'm just treating you the way you treat me!" Seth snaps.

"I SAID I'M SORRY!" Roman bellows, "Look I'm sorry. I just, I needed some time…to figure some things out."

"So should I expect this more often then? Your disappearing acts?" Seth eyes him, nose scrunching up again.

" _No,_ " Roman grits out.

"You're lyi-ng!" Seth shouts. He sets his ice-cream aside, "You get off on hurting me."

" _No!_ " Roman snaps, shaking his head. He groans into his hands, the word 'no' repeating over and over again in his mind.

"Yes, you do!" Seth accuses angrily, "You do because I don't understand why you'd leave the whole day, not answer my calls and not spare a second thought about how I'd feel about that, Roman."

"Hurting you is what I hate most about myself, Seth."

"Then where were you the entire day?!" Seth shouts, looking away from Roman. He buries his face in between his folded legs, wrapping his arms around himself. Shielding, Roman realizes Seth is shielding himself from him with his current position.

"I hurt you again, Seth. I just, I needed time," Roman leaves the bed, releasing a deep exhale. "Look at your neck," he says softly, gesturing to hand imprints on Seth's neck. "And I won't even get started on the rest of your body, Seth. I saw you flinch when you were repositioning yourself. All I'm doing is inflicting pain on your body. It's not right…which is why I came up with a solution."

For a while, Seth remains hidden in between his legs. But slowly he peeks an eye out, it's too red for Roman's liking. "Separate rooms," Roman says quietly.

It takes Seth a minute but once it sinks in, his face morphs into distaste. "NO!" he shouts. "We're not going to do it."

"It's the only way, Seth," Roman reasons.

"No, it isn't and you know it, Roman! _Therapy_ is available, but you don't want to!"

"Because I can't divulge my past like that!" Roman snaps, " _You_ don't know what I went through. I'm not going to reopen those wounds again." He won't, Roman refuses. His chest hurts, the anger is simmering within him.

"You're not going to because hiding is the better option for you, Roman! It's what you always do," Seth's voice cracks.

Roman throws his hands up in frustration, "I don't know what you want from me, man! I came up with a solution. It's _you_ who doesn't want it!"

"Because I can't sleep on my own, Roman. I don't want to!" Seth lifts off the bed, limping towards Roman. "It's not fair, you don't get the dreams often. You don't use my body like that everyday. _Please, Roman._ It's not fair, we're a couple. We're in love, it's law that we sleep in the same bed."

"There is no such law, Seth," Roman snorts.

"Well, to me there is. We'll figure something out but I'm not sleeping all alone in that bed. Not after you made me get used to you holding me. Not after I got used to your presence. It makes me feel safe, it comforts me. No, we're not going to do it." Seth says finally, nodding to himself.

"Then we're going to have to reach a compromise," Roman sighs. He's grateful when he's allowed to kiss a warm forehead. Roman leads Seth back to the bed, sitting down next to him. "If I…have the dreams again. And I stir in bed, I don't want you to wake me. Let me do that on my own while you leave the bed. Or if I'm not in bed when you wake up, don't try to find me. Let me work things out on my own. It's all I'm asking of you, alofagia."

"Even the ones where you're cold?" Seth asks hesitantly.

Roman tenses, "Yes," he replies in a clipped tone. Those dreams are his worst. They take him back to when he found Tyler, cold and bloody. He shakes his head, trying to drive the thoughts away. "I'll only share this bed with you if you agree to the terms and conditions."

"I do then," Seth replies, straddling Roman's lap. He looks into Roman's eyes, his hands cupping the royal's cheeks. "But I have a few of my own requests."

Roman nods his head.

"Don't ever leave like that again. Don't ignore my calls. I get that sometimes you need your space but talk to me, tell me and I'll back off. Don't just switch off, Roman. It makes me feel unwanted, it hurts more than everything you could ever do."

"I'm sorry," Roman's hands fold around Seth's waist.

"That should've been your name instead," Seth kisses full lips softly. "Don't let your past get in the way of our relationship, Roman."

"I'll try. I love you."

"I love you too," Seth says softly before shaking his head, eyes searching Roman's. The royal isn't sure what Seth's looking for and if he finds it because his eyes soften, a quiet laugh leaving him. "But I hate you too, I hate you now."

"I…don't know what to say," Roman's at a genuine loss for words. "But I hope the love surpasses the hate."

"Lucky for you, it does."

"By how much?"

Seth gestures with his right thumb and index finger, "This much."

"Why so little?" Roman complains lightly.

"Because nine times out of ten, you're an ass." Seth hugs Roman's neck. "And I love you regardless."

The kiss against Roman's lips is softer than before, Seth breathes his love into him, it causes the royal's heart to flutter. "My ice-cream isn't ice-cream anymore. It's all your fault," Seth croaks.

Roman swears he can see Seth's eyes turn glossy but the brunet breathes deeply, moving off Roman's lap. "I think I'll go find the Vanilla flavored one in the fridge. I'm always hungry now, thanks to these pills. Thanks to _you._ " Annoyance is visible in Seth's tone as he sashays out of their bedroom. Roman is left in a confused state. He won't even bother…

* * *

 

"Think about it, Seth!" Bo's laugh causes everyone at their table to laugh. Well, everyone except Seth. They're at a café ten minutes away from college, winding down after the exam they've just had. It's the third one and Seth can't complain much so far. He thinks he's doing well.

"Nope, not doing it." Seth looks at Bo, "And what do I say to Roman? Hey, babe. Let's go to the sex store and buy some floggers? I want you to beat me."

Elias, who's sat next to him, snorts but remains quiet.

"Well he won't be hitting you to like cause extreme pain. It all depends on where and _how_ he's doing it. It can be extremely pleasurable. Trust me, I know what I'm talking about."

"Eh…I don't know, Bo."

"Look, I'll even take you to a…" Bo leans into Seth conspiratorially, "sex shop."

"Bo, would you cut it out? It's highly uncomfortable, I don't want pretty boy's sex life mentally ingrained inside my head forever."

Seth spares Elias a glance, his eyes burn with jealousy. The man isn't even hiding it. "He's right, Bo. Maybe next time, it's something I'd have to discuss with Roman first."

Bo sighs, his excitement dying a bit. "Okay, but let me know if you're interested."

Their kink conversation ends with a head nod. Seth still isn't sure how they got to the topic. Actually he does, Bo has no filter so he's the one who began the conversation about roleplaying. Seth knows about it, but he's never tried it out. Not even when he was a prostitute. Perhaps it wouldn't be a bad idea trying a few things out in the bedroom with Roman, but he's not sure about this flogging thing.

Seth looks up to see Bo looking over his shoulder before looking down again. The sweet man alternates between looking at Seth and above his shoulder for quite some time. "What is it?" Seth asks because it's getting annoying.

"Oh, nothing. It's just…your mom looks just like you."

 _No._ Seth freezes in place at Bo's words. He suddenly can feel eyes burning the back of his head. _She's_ here, Bo keeps doing that annoying thing he was doing. Elias looks behind too, before brushing his hand against Seth's fingers. "Wow, pretty boy. Now I can see where that beauty comes from. You look just like your mom, man."

"Seth?"

Seth snaps his attention to Bo, giving his worried friend a tremulous smile. He turns just slightly, right hand clutching the edge of his chair in a white-knuckled grip. His emotions are attempting to spill over but he won't allow them. Not in such a public place, not in front of his friends.

The eyes that look so much like his are staring back at him, unblinking but widened. Seth's jaw clenches. What is this woman doing here? The last time she called was two weeks ago but he'd missed her call. He's now certain it was her. "I'll come right back, you guys." He stands up, walking on his jellier than usual legs to where _she's_ seated.

There's a buzzing in his body with each step that leads him to her. He's already come up with what to say when he gets to her. He'll lash out and tell her to leave him the fuck alone. To go back to whatever rotten hole she came from. "Katherine," he starts, each and every courageous and cruel he'd wanted to utter rushing away. Leaving just…blankness and a bunch of emotions he isn't sure he's ready to face. Not again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! Okay so this is mostly a filler for the next chapter cause I don't know how to do short chapters, it's a curse. 
> 
> Secondly, this is angsty. And there are mentions of underage sex/pimping, domestic violence from a parent. Please, if you're easily triggered, try to skip through those bits. 
> 
> I wanted to mention something else but I totally forgot what so I'll say thank you so much for reading, reviewing and supporting. I can't thank you enough, some of your comments make my day and are amusing AF. So thank you so much!

Sadness, disappointment, anger and heartbreak are among a _number_ of emotions that Seth's feeling as he eyes the woman who birthed him. She's changed so much from the last time he saw her. She looks older…impoverished—tired, like an old rag that has been used one too many times.

He remembers how golden her hair used to be, sparkling in the sunlight but now it's a washed-out color with strips of gray at the roots. Her skin, tanned and ruddy, is marred with multiple lines signaling growth. Her lips are too thin, gone is the rosy color that normally enticed potential clients into bed with her. Seth isn't sure what to make of her eyes, those brown orbs that look so much like his always could deceive him…

"What are _you_ doing here?" he stares the bony woman down, hands shaking from the need to hold onto _something—_ an anchor. Seth suddenly wishes Roman were here or Xavier, or Dean. Just _someone,_ who _loves_ him—wholeheartedly, without pretense.

Katherine is unresponsive, she stares with a look akin to awe and…pride. Seth can't resist a snort. What, did the old bitch think he wouldn't make it? That he'd spend all the days of his life being just like her? Useless and a waste of space to humanity? The audacity!

"Look, lady, you either tell me why you're here or I'll leave. Go back to my friends and I don't want you bothering me."

Seth gets an eye blink this time, and a woman who resembles a fish out of water. Katherine's mouth opens and then closes but no sound leaves her mouth. It causes Seth's impatience to grow by the minute. He's not in the mood, not today. Any other day but today. "Seff..." it's said quietly but sounds too grating to Seth's ears. _Her_ voice causes his skin to crawl up in disgust.

" _Seff, Jason's here. I'm gon' head out to the stores, alright?"_

_Seth grips the edge of the bathroom sink tighter, tries to calm his erratic heartbeat down. He's drained and his body screams in protest at the implication of his mom's words. "You can do this, baby." He tries to prep himself up on the mirror, "Y-you just did it now, you can do it again. Pretend he's not there. That always works, doesn't it?"_

" _SEFF, GET YOUR ASS HERE!"_

_With a jump, Seth answers to his mom's grating voice "Yes, mam!" he spares one final glance at the mirror, biting on his lip as he exits the bathroom. He can't keep his client waiting._

Seth clutches his head at the memory, squeezing his eyes shut. Huge mistake, the pictures are there in his mind from when he was thirteen to his last sex job not too long ago. Pain builds in his chest, making breathing come harder to him. _It hurts._

"Seff?"

"DO NOT CALL ME THAT. CALL ME BY MY NAME!" Seth yells. His heartache is making it hard for him to focus on anything at the moment. Gone are his surroundings as he scowls at the seated woman. _I hate you,_ the words tumble inside his brain like a broken record.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, baby."

"Well fuck your sorry!" he snaps, hands shaking. "Why are you here, Katherine? What do you want from me?"

"Aren't you going to sit down first?" Katherine's eyes dart around the café reminding Seth of their surroundings. There are too many eyes looking in their direction making him self-conscious. He tries for a relaxed smile when looking at Bo and Elias who are amongst the curious observers.

Sitting down at Katherine's table, Seth folds his arms against his chest protectively. It's all he ever did when he was younger. "There, now talk. Why are you here? How did you find me? And what the fuck do you want?"

This woman must not be hearing him because she doesn't respond. That damned look of awe remains drawn on her features. It's affecting Seth, he can feel his veins throbbing. His fingers thrum on the checkered table, foot bouncing impatiently beneath the table. _Something,_ he just needs her to say something, anything so that he can lash out at her. And leave her here, alone, like the worthless piece of scum she is.

"You…look amazing, son—glowing." That disgusting awe is still visible in her voice, Seth doesn't want to hear it.

"That's it? You done, right?" Seth's ass lifts off the chair, "Good, now if you'll excuse me I need to go back to my friends. Kindly stay away from me and I'll do the same."

"Seth, wait!" Katherine stops him from leaving. Seth snatches his hand away from her touch, eyes watering as another memory assaults him. Of when she'd grip his hand when he was too exhausted but would have to 'attend to his customers' because folk like him weren't put on earth to be lazy.

"I'll ask you again. What is it? What do you want? If you're not going to respond then please…let me go." He pleads quietly, still on his feet.

"I…want to t-talk to you, son. Maybe somewhere more private? If you don't mind, of course, I don't want to pressure you. It's just, this place…too many people and the tables are too close. It's too public."

Seth sighs, checking the time on his watch. 05:12 PM, it reads. Roman's on his way home, he needs to be on his way too. Who knows how long the conversation with the manipulative witch in front of him will take? "I have to get home. I can't do this today."

"Oh," Katherine's eyes turn bleak. Her disappointment rolls off of her in waves. "Maybe tomorrow then?"

Tomorrow would be fine. At least Seth will be a little prepared this time. Not this blindsiding nonsensical move the woman pulled on him. And he's not writing tomorrow. "Tomorrow," he confirms, "You have my number, I know you got it from Sami. You'll message me the details." He's walking away from her when the woman grips his hand again. " _What?"_ he grits out, eyes narrowed at her.

"I know I have no right to ask this, son. With all I've put you through in the past. But, y-you see, I took a plane from home to Tampa about a month ago. And then I couldn't find you where you used to stay so your friend, Sami, gave me your number. I tried to call but you weren't answering my calls. I came down here on Monday, have been looking for you outside your school since Tuesday with no luck. But I finally got to see you with your friends today and I followed you here."

"I haven't had exams since Monday. I wasn't at school on the other days," Seth explains. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"No, wait Seth," Katherine sighs. She picks up something off the ground next to her. Seth notices a torn brown duffle bag. "Look, I'm sorry to ask you this. I'm not really good at it, but I…don't have a place to stay, baby." Katherine's words are whispered, she can't even maintain eye contact. "All the money I had saved up, I done spent it on coming to Florida. I need a place—"

" _No._ " Seth says immediately, panic setting in. Not again, the last time he stayed with her, he'd had to sacrifice his body at the club to make up for the money she stole from him.

"Please, baby," the pleading look in the bony woman's eyes almost breaks his resolve. His mom's always been a master manipulator. She's always known what to say and how—to get him to do anything she wants.

"I s-said n-no K-Katherine," he stammers. "Go back t-to where you were staying these past days."

"I ran out of the money, Seth. I…slept on the streets yesterday. Not too far from here, near your college." Seth looks back at her, eyes her blouse. It's silky maroon, rumpled too, as if the owner slept in it. Katherine clearly has a problem abiding to instruction because she touches him again, his hand this time, her brown eyes begging. "Please baby, even if it's only one—"

"N-No, I-I don't want to, K-Katherine. You need a p-place to stay? Fine, I can, I can—" his cell ringing pauses his stammering. Seth takes it out of his pocket with shaky hands. The panic subsides a little when Roman's face appears on his screen. "—ello?" he croaks.

"Alofagia," hearing Roman's voice threatens to shatter his walls but Seth won't allow himself to fall apart. He's not going to embarrass himself in such a public setting. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," the brunet lies, shaking his head even though Roman can't see him.

"Don't lie to me, Seth."

"I'm sorry," Seth whispers into the phone. Katherine's eyes are on him, examining. _Walk away,_ his mind tells him and the brunet complies. He finds himself standing near the bookshelves in the café. The walls act as his pillars, he releases a shaky breath. "She's—here, Row-man." Seth turns away from the noise, watching the busy streets. The chest pains are still there, threatening to rip him apart.

"Who's she—" the line goes silent for a short period of time. " _Her?_ Your…mom?" there's a darkness in the way Roman asks the question.

"Katherine," he corrects, left fingers wringing together uncomfortably. "What do I do, Roman?"

"Where are you? Did you speak to her? Do you know what she wants?"

"I'm at the café, the b-bookshop," he stutters a response to what the one question he got.

"Okay…okay, alofagia. She's at the café too?"

"Yes."

"And she spoke to you?"

"Mhm," Seth hums unevenly.

"What did she say?"

"She wants to speak to—me," again Seth's voice cracks. He's feeling too many things all at once. Having too many thoughts simultaneously, it's making him feel lightheaded. There are a few steps that lead to the books at the café. He settles on them, rubbing the blurriness out of his eyes. "I told her tomorrow, I have to get home, Roman."

"Okay, alofagia. You didn't do anything bad, you'll talk to her tomorrow. Do you want me to fetch you?"

"She has no place to stay. She told me," his mind rushes to his mouth. "She wants to stay the night, Rome."

"Do you want that, alofagia?" Roman asks softly.

"I don't know," Seth's shoulder lifts and falls in a tired shrug. He doesn't trust his mom, but he doesn't want her to sleep on the streets either. Despite his resentment towards her, he still cares…even though he shouldn't. There's also the option of a hotel, Manuia or even John could help find one for her.

"Okay, this is what we'll do." Roman startles him, his nerves are all over the place. "You said she wants to speak to you. She can stay the night, in the morning she leaves. Everything she wants to say, she can say to you tonight. I'll be there with you, if you need me."

"I don't know, Roman. You don't know how she is, what if we wake up in the morning and the furniture's gone?"

Roman's hearty laugh erases his pain, for just a minute, warmth replaces the dark emotions threatening to break Seth apart. "She wouldn't make it past the gate, alofagia. But I can hear your reluctance. We don't have to, if that's not what you want. But I think you should speak to her in a place you're comfortable in."

What Roman's saying makes sense to him. The woman spoke of speaking to him in a private place, at least at home, Seth won't have to worry about falling apart in public. He won't have to worry about being recorded should he make a spectacle of himself. "Fetch me," he whispers into the phone.

Roman ends their conversation with confirmation that he's on his way. Seth turns back to the noisy café finding Katherine's eyes on him, that duffle bag still sitting on the table next to her. He turns away from her, another set of onlookers stare at him. Elias has curiosity etched all over his face while Bo is a mix between curious and disinterested.

Seth doesn't even look in Katherine's direction as he makes his way to his friends. "Hey guys, sorry about that. I just had to speak to my…mom." He tries to not let that last word affect him.

"Won't you introduce us?" Elias's question isn't all too innocent, the lilt in his voice betrays him.

Seth cuts his eyes at him, settling in his chair. "Maybe another time. We're leaving soon, Roman's on his way."

Elias exhales loudly, his hand tightening on his beer bottle. "You can't stay? What, he ordered you to come back home?"

"No, I'm leaving because I want to!" Seth snaps. He's not going to deal with Elias' shadiness. "I know you don't like Roman, Elias. But you need to back off, he never talks about you. So you don't get to talk about him either. He's my _boyfriend,_ it won't change just because you want to be in his position. Please…get over yourself!"

Silence falls over their table after he's spoken. A tension blankets the air around them, making Seth feel guilty. Maybe he shouldn't have chided so hard? It's just, he's feeling irritable today—has been feeling that way since he woke up. And now there's this stress of Katherine that's just piling up on his list problems. He hasn't the patience today. None at all.

"Alright, Seth!" Bo cheers, grinning like the fool he is. Curtis's boyfriend probably loves his relationship with Roman more than anyone else Seth knows. He's their self-proclaimed number one fan.

"Wow…pretty boy," Elias breaks out of his shocked stupor. He stares at Seth with interest, "A little over sensitive today, aren't we? Relax, I was just joking."

"It's not funny," Seth reprimands, tone somewhat softer.

Elias lifts his hands, surrendering. "I get it, alright. How about we talk about something else?"

"Too late, hot stuff is here." Bo grins widely, right hand already lifting and waving a little too enthusiastically. "Psst…over here, Roman!"

Roman's scent invades him first, it's exotic and musky—it's pure manly. Then his aura, intoxicating but domineering with a hint of humility and there's the power that comes with him. Seth feels Roman consume him whole—without doing a single thing _._ The brunet lifts off his chair, turning around to face his expressionless boyfriend.

"Alofagia," a hint of a smile lifts at one corner of the royal's lips. He's been having a bad day but all that fades when Seth feels Roman's arms fold and then tighten around him. It's like being hugged by a big teddy bear, or being wrapped up in clouds. And with Roman consuming him, his thoughts settle—if only for a little while. Seth breathes out heavily, eyes squeezed shut. "I'm right here," Roman says quietly, right after placing a gentle kiss on Seth's messy hair.

"Are you okay?" Roman cups his cheeks, looking into his eyes.

"N-No," Seth shakes his head, knowing it's no use denying it.

"It's going to be alright," another kiss touches his forehead before Roman leans down to capture his lips. It's slow, gentle and loving. Seth sighs against Roman's lips, accepting one final kiss from him. "You ready to go?"

A head nod is what Seth gives Roman, he can't muster up the energy to talk with how he's feeling. "Bo, _Elias…_ I hope everything's well. How are your exams?"

"Great, no complaints." Elias says, smile on his face looking all too fake.

"It's going great, Roman. You know I was actually recapping on what I studied and—" Seth tunes Bo out, looking over his shoulder. _She's_ still here, looking pitiful as she stares in his direction. _One night._ Just one, and then he wants her out of his life…for good.

"Come," Roman breaks his staring. Seth nods his head to where Katherine's seated after they leave Elias's table. The hand at the small of his back tightens when they get to the table. Seth remains silent and just observes the woman as she engages in a staring contest with Roman. Unbearable warmth fills the air around them, it's the tension growing. He's not willing to say anything else to Katherine and waits on Roman or _her_ to say something, anything.

"Hello." Roman breaks the silence first, sounding emotionless.

"Yes, h-hi," Katherine's daze evaporates, that disgusting awe stealing the spotlight again. Seth doesn't think he's ever despised an expression so hard. He _hates_ that expression on her face.

"Are you ready to go?"

Katherine's expression changes into one of surprise, her doe eyes finding Seth's. Gratitude is what Seth sees in them this time, he scoffs, looking away. "Spare me the grateful façade. Grab your bag, we're leaving."

Roman clears his throat but he says nothing. Good, if he'd interfered, Seth would've dealt with his royal ass.

There has to be some sort of heatwave with how hot it is outside. Despite the tank top he's wearing, Seth still feels too hot. He can feel his irritation slowly creeping in again but tries to keep it at bay.

Getting in the car feels like he's entered a cool haven, the AC cools Seth's overheated skin. He turns the radio on when Roman begins the drive home, unwilling to create unnecessary tension by attempting awkward conversations with the woman seated in the backseat. His eyelids get heavy sometime during their drive. Seth gives in, allowing his eyes to close, his hand holding onto Roman's.

***

"What?!" Seth groans into the pillow he's hugging. There's an incessant poking at his side and it's getting annoying. Wait a minute, there's a pillow…he's in bed. But how? When? Who?

A deep chuckle sounds, rumbling—like a lion. Seth recognizes the voice as belonging to his boyfriend. He sits up the bed slowly, groaning tiredly. "Welcome back, sleeping beauty." Roman's breath fans his temple before his lips touch the area softly.

"Hey…did you help me to bed?" Seth remembers falling asleep in the car. A glance outside the opened balcony doors reveals the fading salmon hues of what's left over from the afternoon. It's probably around seven but Seth still looks to his boyfriend for confirmation. "What time is it?"

"Eight after seven," Roman brings Seth to his lap, despite the brunet's groans of disapproval. "You were still asleep when we got home. I carried you here, I'm sorry to wake you up so soon but dinner's ready."

"I'm tired," Seth rests his head on Roman's shoulder. "I need more sleep."

"You're always tired lately."

"I've been overworking my brain. Exams, you know?"

Roman hums in agreement, "Don't work yourself too much. I don't want you collapsing because of exhaustion."

"Thank you for caring, daddy." Seth gives Roman a toothy grin. "I promise that no collapsing will happen. No siree, not on this end."

The kiss Roman rewards him with fills him with sunny warmth. Inquiring brown eyes observe him for a full minute before Roman speaks softly. "You are loved, alofagia. By a lot of people, including me. I love you so much, I don't ever want you to doubt it."

It's not said randomly this time, maybe Roman can sense the coming windstorm. With Katherine here, who knows what will happen? Who knows if he won't fall apart when talking to her? The woman is threatening to invoke so many unwelcomed emotions with her presence.

Roman's eyes assure him over and over again, he's loved. Seth nods his head, feeling Roman's beard tickle his palms beneath his touch. "I love you too…and your beard, so much." Child-like chortles bounce off the walls of their bedroom. "I do," Seth reaffirms. "It's getting thicker."

"Just like you. I told you the thickness would only add to your beauty."

Seth wants to be mad at Roman for telling him he's gaining weight but he thinks he is too. His jeans hug him tighter than usual. Maybe he should put an extra hour or two. Maybe he will…first thing tomorrow morning. But right now he needs to be fed. Seth's stomach growls in agreement causing Roman to chuckle again. The brunet releases no complaint as Roman carries him down the stairs.

Delicious aromas assault Seth's nostrils before they even reach the kitchen. He breathes deeply, letting out a long moan. "Hungry?" Roman kisses his temple.

"Very," Seth confirms, slightly annoyed when Roman makes him stand on his feet. He entwines their hands when they enter the dining room, squeezing Roman's hand softly when _she_ comes into view. Seth sits next to Roman who's sat at the head of the table. "Talofa Masina," he greets the woman he's come to consider his mother.

"Eat up so you can go rest," Masina kisses his cheek.

"Yes mam," Seth won't argue, he feels drained.

"Dinner's served. Seth, you wanted the honey BBQ chicken. And there's a salad too, for a balanced meal." Masina winks, gentle hand squeezing Seth's shoulder. She points to a Broccoli and Radicchio salad. "You'll pick whatever you want for dessert. You're always undecided."

Seth grins sheepishly, Masina's right. Sometimes he wants dessert, sometimes he doesn't. But he's craving gelato tonight. The Ferrero Rocher flavored one he bought yesterday. He wants it now, but he wants the chicken too and is not completely sold on the salad. "I'll handle it, thanks Masina."

Masina pats Katherine's shoulder when she leaves, it brings a frown to Seth's face. Are the two friends now? In just an hour that she's been here and Katherine is already manipulating the people he holds close to his heart. Revulsion boils in his veins, distaste barely hidden on his face as he dishes his food. He fills Roman's plate too, the sound of the cutlery clacking with how forceful he's being.

"Alofagia?"

The confusion in Roman's voice annoys him for some reason. Yes, he's dished up his and Roman's plates only, so what? Doesn't Katherine have hands? Can't she do things for herself? Seth snorts to himself, of course she can't.

_I didn't bring your ass on earth to do nothin' Seff. From now on, you're helping out._

Her voice rings inside his mind, loud and unwanted. Seth stares daggers at the woman sat across from him. He just can't seem to escape her today. "What is it, dear?" the same daggers are aimed at his boyfriend.

Roman's left eyebrow arches analytically, face expressionless. "Forget it," Roman switches plates with Katherine. He grabs the empty plate, dishing up his own food.

When their eyes meet, Seth is sure his hurt is showing. This man, who he calls his _boyfriend_ just picked Katherine's side. The man is choosing the same woman who's caused him so much heartache over the years. Tears brim in his eyes but Seth won't cry. He wants to leave his traitorous boyfriend all alone with Katherine. The two are clearly new best buddies. It was the same with Masina. Katherine's stealing everyone from him…

"Sef—" Katherine stops herself when he gives her the nastiest look he can muster. "Sorry…um, anyway. Do you remember Gregory's boy from across the street?"

Seth remains quiet, mouth only accommodating his food. He knows he's only adding to the awkward atmosphere at the table. It's worse than that time he had lunch with Elias and Roman. Everyone at the table seems to be careful when cutting into their food as if not to make a sound. Well everyone except him, Seth holds nothing back as he cuts into his food. He holds nothing back when stabbing his salad. He holds nothing back in the way he chews his food.

He's angry, very angry and he's never enjoyed being pretentious. He'd done that for most of his life that he just can't do it now. It's daunting and falsity is right at the top of his list of dislikes.

"Eh, he passed on. Three months ago, car accident. He was only 40."

"Good riddance," Seth replies. He grabs another chicken piece, it's his fourth one, biting into the juicy meat harshly. "He used to fuck me and then make a fool out of me on the streets. You'd think a man his age would've been more mature. I mean how old was he, like 25? And I was more mature…at fourteen." Seth laughs hysterically, it's no biggie. He'd learnt to cope—even when they'd call him whore and used and unlovable.

Roman is saying something next to him. It's all incoherent to Seth at first, until he realizes that the man is telling him to breathe in Samoan. Great! Another person telling him what to do. Seth shakes his head, uncontrollable laughs still escaping his lips. Irritation builds within him coupled with anger and sadness. Utter sadness and wretchedness that the water dam breaks. But his hysterical laughs don't cease.

"Fuck this," Seth stands up. There are too many emotions swimming in Katherine's eyes that Seth can't read all of them. But his irritation and resentment towards the old woman remains. "And fuck you." He looks her in the eyes. The woman remains seated disappointing him. Back then he'd get a slap, stinging, right across his cheek. "You fucking coward!"

His legs shake as Seth walks away from the table. He's at the stairway when he remembers his food. Seth groans, salty liquid raining down his cheeks even more than before. Now he has to go all the way back to get his food. Roman's still sat at his chair, fisted hands beneath his chin and a pensive expression on his face. Katherine's also at her chair, eyes glued to her plate.

Seth says nothing, he adds a few more chicken pieces to his plate and leaves, plate in hand. Inside his bedroom, the brunet sets his plate on the bedside table. He decides to take a quick cold shower, finishing five minutes later. He's naked and staring at the walls blankly when Roman enters their bedroom.

"N-No," he stutters, tears falling again when Roman attempts to kiss him. His emotions are threatening to spill over and Seth wants to allow them to. He settles on anger and frustration first, pointing an accusatory finger at Roman. "This is all your fault. You brought her here. Why?"

"Seth?"

Roman's confusion makes his temper rise. Seth leaves the bed, still naked, standing in front of Roman. "YOU BROUGHT HER HERE, ROMAN. I-IN OUR HOME, W-WHY? SHE'S HURTING ME, CAN'T YOU SEE? OR MAYBE THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT. SINCE YOU LOVE DOING IT TOO." He erupts like a volcano, ignoring the hurt flashing in Roman's dark eyes.

"Calm down, alofagia." Roman tries to touch him but Seth pulls away.

"Don't tell me what to do!" gone are those days, Seth's over them. No one tells him what to do now. He's not young and defenseless.

Roman shakes his head, releasing a quiet sigh. "I can't talk to you when you're like this, Seth."

"THEN WHY ARE YOU HERE? LEAVE! GET OUT OF MY ROOM!"

"What?" Disbelief is visible in Roman's tone, he arches an eyebrow challengingly.

Seth has no care for it. He has no care for anyone at the moment. Masina, Roman, Katherine—they can all go to hell! Roman, more than anyone else. The man brought Katherine to their home. If he hadn't made that damn suggestion then there would be no Katherine. No heartache. No anger. Yes, it's Roman's fault. His fault that Seth's heart is cracking into a million pieces. Seth wants Roman to hold him. But he also doesn't want him to. He wants Roman as far away from him as possible. He wants everyone gone.

"I said—leave!" Seth's voice cracks, vision blurry. "I don't want you here. I don't want to see you ever again!"

The irritation and impatience propels him into action, Roman is taking too much time to obey. He's just like Katherine, he has a problem abiding to instruction. So Seth pushes the bigger man away, palms touching a hard chest, forcefully moving a stumbling Roman out of his room. At the door, Roman's hands latch onto the edge of the door, body unmoving.

"I love you, Seth. I love you very much." Roman stays put, still unmoving, despite Seth's attempts at pushing him out of his bedroom completely.

"I—love you too. Now leave, Roman! Leave my room!" Seth receives a look he hasn't the energy to decipher before Roman nods his head, moving away from his bedroom completely.

Seth bangs the door after the man leaves. He isn't feeling too good. He's feeling too much all at once that all he wants to do is scream. He wants to scream his lungs out, release every black emotion attacking him. And then there's the crawly feeling all over his body. He rubs his head frantically, hands then moving to claw at his skin.

Wretched sobs escape him, and Seth has no idea how to stop them. Comfort, it's what he needs. But he's chased Roman away. He doesn't want the man near him but he craves his comfort, craves his comforting scent. Seth opens the en-suite closet, pushing item after item of clothing away. And then he finds it, Roman's shirt that he normally gets chided for wearing. It's Roman's favorite, but it's his too. Seth puts the baggy shirt on, not bothering to button it up.

The comfort is there, but not enough. So he walks on jelly legs, throwing himself on Roman's side of the bed and grabbing the royal's pillow. Roman's scent envelopes him, he's wrapped up in it. His erratic heartbeat lulls, body sagging in exhaustion. Seth hugs Roman's pillow tighter, biting on his bottom lip to stifle his cries. He closes his eyes, grateful for the quiet in his mind. Even if it's only temporary.

" _What the hell do you think you're doing?!"_

_Seth's hand freezes on the fridge's handle, eyes widening when he hears his mom's voice. Don't panic, he chants inside his mind when turning to face her. "Getting the eggs, mam."_

_Katherine laughs condescendingly, "What, boy?!"_

" _I-I, am, uh-uh, I'm getting the eggs."_

" _Every time I come into this house, you're getting something. You're always eating, then going to school and then coming back to eat some more and then going to the toilet to shit it all out. Do you even know how that food got into this house? Oh, I know. You probably think it fell off the sky, dontcha?"_

_Seth shrinks away from the loud voice, it's too grating. They have this conversation nearly every day. "No, mam."_

_Katherine chuckles condescendingly again. "Yes you do. Because if the bread is finished you come to mommy to ask for money. If the eggs are finished, I need to chip out some money. There ain't no food in the house, you come crying to me. You must think it fell off the sky because if you didn't then you'd hustle too. Bring in some damn money into this house."_

_Silence fills the kitchen when Seth fails to respond. The anger in his mom's eyes terrifies him and all he wants to do is leave the kitchen. Allow the woman to calm down. But he needs to pass through her for that and it would be a bad idea to try move past her when she's like this. He'll probably end up with a trace of her fingers across his cheek._

_He spoke to soon, Seth feels a stinging pain on his right cheek. A yelp sounds in the kitchen, he cups his cheek, eyes watering. "What did—I do?" his voice cracks._

_Katherine narrows her eyes, abhorrence visible in her eyes. "You…" she shakes her head, turning to leave. "One of these days, Seff. You're chipping in one of these days. You're not young anymore, I'm not going to entertain your laziness."_

Seth wakes with tears in his eyes. He can't breathe, feels his throat constricting as he tries to get some air. The images are back, flashing vividly in front him. "No," he cries out, trying to drive them away. Eyes darting around his bedroom, Seth finds it too large. He finds the room too dark, too empty but suffocating too.

His feet touch the cold marble floors, hands clasping the bedsheets shakily. Seth hesitates when he opens his bedroom door, he wants Roman. He needs the royal's comfort, to feel his arms around him. His rumbling voice telling him that everything's going to be okay. But he chased the man away.

What if Roman's angry?

Seth tries to chase the thought away. He closes the door, padding barefoot in the hallway. At Roman's old bedroom, the brunet leans against the door, eyes clenched. _Please don't be here,_ he chants mentally. The mere thought of Roman being inside his old room breaks Seth. It's where Roman's saved some of his memories of Tyler. The boy's pictures are in there. And Seth is still not sure if Roman ever got over him. He tries not to think about it too much.

A breath he didn't know he was holding leaves Seth when he notices an empty room and a bed unoccupied. His silent walking continues again until he reaches a door slightly opened, two doors away from his bedroom. Seth peeks in, hoping that it's not _her_ he'll find inside the room.

The body lying on the bed is too large to be Katherine. Seth enters quietly, feet hesitant when he moves to the other side. There's a bit of space but Roman's muscular body takes up most of the bed. The man's lying on his back, left arm beneath his head, face turned in Seth's direction. Despite his bad nights, Roman's mostly a silent sleeper, like he is now. The only sign that he's alive is the lifting and falling of his naked chest.

Seth gets in the bed silently, back turned away from Roman. It's just gone after one, Seth realizes he must've been asleep for maybe five hours before that _dream_ woke him. _Don't think about it,_ he chides himself, exhaling quietly.

An arm folds around his stomach bringing him to a hard body. That feeling of safety that comes with being with Roman settles his heart. Seth can't accurately describe what being in Roman's arms feels like. But it's like a sanctuary, his place of refuge. "I'm s-sorry," he whispers, blinking rapidly to stop his tears.

Roman sighs, his hand nudging Seth's stomach causing the brunet to roll over so that he's facing his boyfriend. The hand that was on his stomach goes to the back of his neck before travelling lower down his spine. "You're wearing my shirt?" it slithers beneath the button up, rubbing Seth's back in circles.

"Yes, sorry," Seth whispers, head tucked under Roman's chin.

A kiss touches his messy hair. "It's okay. What's mine is yours…besides, you're so stubborn. Can't stay away from my clothes," it's said amusedly, deep voice gentle as ever.

Another kiss forces Seth out of hiding, it's placed on his forehead. He moves closer to Roman, his hand going to Roman's chest. Seth breathes the royal in, wanting to be consumed by the man completely. He's never felt safer, never felt more protected. From the world. From his past. From his mom.

"I had a bad dream," Seth tells Roman quietly, eyes wet. "A bad m-memory."

Roman stiffens briefly, releasing a heavy exhale. "You did?"

Seth nods his head, trembling hand stroking Roman's beard. "I was thirteen." The tears still fall down his cheeks, his lips quivering. "The first time I had sex, I was thirteen with a guy who gave me twenty dollars. I always felt funny around him, he was twelve years older and I t-thought h-he was c-cool. K-Katherine, she always complained. Whenever there was no food in the house, she'd get crabby. Blame me fore eating too much. Tell me I'm lazy because she has to do all the work alone."

"So one day, she brought that guy. His name was Trey, he was 25 and I thought he was cute. My ma knew it, so she left me alone with him while she went to the shops. She stayed away for over five hours. I was alone with T-Trey and he kept trying to convince me. He touched me and I-I liked it. We ended up having sex, twice. And then he left, throwing twenty dollars at me before telling me I was a great fuck."

"All of it wasn't ever your fault, alofagia. Even if you felt something for this _Trey,_ he was the adult, he should've known better. Your _mother_ too," Roman growls, his arms holding Seth tighter. "You were the victim here."

Seth nods his head, he knows Roman's right. But sometimes it's hard to believe, he'd told himself he was a whore like Katherine since the first time he'd had sex with Trey. Because he shouldn't have given in so easily, he should've never enjoyed it. His first sexual encounter was all the proof he'd needed—for so long he'd been just like his mother. And maybe he still is, maybe all he'll ever be is a dirty whore…

Rubbing his nose against Roman's shoulder, Seth doesn't stop the continuous overflowing water streaming down his face. He's silent in his cries, chest sore and exhausted. There's so many voices in his head, yelling. _Worthless whore. Unlovable slut. Dirty bitch._ Exhaling softly, with his hand timidly going to Roman's back, the brunet closes his eyes trying to drive his thoughts away.

"And then there were the other guys, all wanting the same thing. Katherine made them pay more. $100 for a blow job, $150 for anal. We didn't have to beg for clothes anymore. We didn't have to beg for food. But I was dying in the process. The only thing I'll ever be known as is a whore. I'll always be a slut. I'm just like h-her. T-That's all I-I a-am."

Seth's sobbing now, loud and uncontained. He clutches Roman's back and lets his pain out. Heartbreaking cries leave him, head feeling like it might explode from his crying. He tries to quieten down but he can't. He's been in so much pain, has had it suppressed for too long. And now _she's_ back, wanting to break him down again.

Roman's words of comfort make him cry harder, the kisses against his forehead making him feel unworthy. He shouldn't even be in bed with the royal. He's tainted. Used by so many. He's second goods. Seth cries for his childhood. He cries over the bad cards life dealt him. He cries over his insecurities. "I-I s-shouldn't b-be h-here, Y-Your H-Highness." He stutters, heart ripping into pieces. "I'm dirty. So u-used. I-I d-don't d-deserve y-you. I-I d-don't d-deserve t-to h-have y-your k-kids. I-I'm—"

"You deserve everything good, Seth." Roman stops his stuttered rambling. "Because you're a beautiful human being, with a good heart. The biggest heart I know. Our children will be so lucky to have you as a parent. Your past means nothing to me. This, I'll make sure to let you know often. Because it really doesn't Seth. If it weren't for your past, we may have never even crossed paths. We'd be walking around with missing parts. Because we're made for each other. Me and you were made to fit together, alofagia. And you're loved, Seth. You're loved so much. By people who don't give a fuck about your past. And amongst all these people, I love you the most."

"You shouldn't," Seth shakes his head. "I'm tainted."

"You're pure, to me you're so pure. And even if you were tainted, I'd love you regardless. Just like you love me without hesitance, without exception. I don't care how dirty you think you are or how used. You're still pure. And I won't let your past convince me otherwise."

"Because you l-love me?"

"I more than love you. It can never be quantified. I love, love you."

"Show me," Seth quivers, eyes still wet.

He's expecting Roman to have him on his back, while spreading his legs. He used to think that love was about that. But the royal does no such thing. Seth feels large arms tighten around his waist instead. He feels Roman's nose nuzzle his forehead. He feels Roman's lips whisper in Samoan before they touch his forehead. He feels Roman's heartbeat beneath his touch, calm and steady, reassuring. _I love you._

Seth feels Roman's breath against his lips, cool and ticklish. _I breathe you._ He scrunches his nose up when it reacts to the tickly feeling. Seth looks into Roman's eyes, finding only love there. _I see you, all of you._ Each touch, each gesture seems to proclaim louder than before. Roman loves him—all of him. And nothing's going to change that. Nothing.

"You're mine, Seth." Roman says quietly, looking into his eyes. Determination and sincerity etched on his features. "You're not your mother's. You'll never be like her. You're better than her. I'm the privileged one here. I get to love _you_ and be loved by you _._ I'm so honored."

"'M not that special," Seth shakes his head, too scared to believe Roman.

"To me you are," that sincerity is still etched on Roman's face. He looks so serious, as if daring anyone to prove him wrong. "And I'll tell you everyday for the rest of our lives."

Seth's eyes close when Roman captures his lips softly. It's soft, raw and take his breath away. Which is funny because Seth feels Roman breathing his love into him with each glide and each nip. He doesn't want to pull away but Roman ends it after a while. The man gives him that loving look again before leaning in to steal his breath away again.

"I remember you telling me that you're strong for me. I am strong for you too, alofagia. When you're weak, I'll be strong for you."

"Thank you, daddy."

Roman's laugh is a rumble, it reverberates against Seth's ear. "Anything for you, alofagia."

"Don't go anywhere…tomorrow. I want you with me when s-she talks. Please, Rome."

Lips settle on his forehead. "Of course."

Silence remains for a while, with Seth biting on his bottom lip. He blinks his eyes at Roman, stroking his cheek again. The royal's beard tickles his palm bringing a little smile to his lips. Maybe he's got a beard kink or something because his obsession with Roman's beard isn't normal. "Um, I need to pee." He whispers when his bladder decides that he doesn't deserve a moment with his boyfriend.

"Go then." Roman says amusedly.

Seth lifts off the bed. "I'm hungry too. I never got to have dessert. Ferrero Rocher gelato."

"And you want me to fetch it?"

Roman sighs when Seth nods his head.

"Bring Masina's chicken too. I can't eat dessert before having the main course." Seth accepts the kisses peppered all over his face before rushing to the bathroom at his bladder's impatience. Roman's laughs cause his heart to flutter. The storm has settled…even if it's only for a little bit. Besides, what is it Xavier had said that day?

_Two people can share one umbrella and survive the storm together._

With Roman by his side, he'll survive the storm. Because the man loves him despite his long trail of dirtiness. He has someone now, the heartache and the pain, he has someone to share it with. He's not alone, Roman is here. Roman who's willing to be strong for him when he can't be strong for himself. Roman who embraces all of him, even the tainted broken parts.

Roman's back in the bedroom when Seth exits the bathroom. The bedside lamp is now turned on, burning dimly. The smell of barbecued chicken and different spices fills the room. Seth's stomach growls in anticipation as he heads to where Roman is. A bowl filled with chicken pieces sits on the bedside table, a glass of his favorite juice sitting next to it. Roman was wise enough to bring the whole tub of his favorite gelato at the moment.

"Thank you," he whispers, allowing Roman to pull him into a large body by the back of his neck. Breathing his home in again relaxes him, but there's a weird churning in his stomach too. Twisting harder than it normally does whenever he's around Roman. "I'm sorry for what I said in our bedroom. I was just angry."

"It's okay, alofagia. You're allowed to snap and feel angry. I'm not holding it against you. But my dick will still ensure you're punished."

Small chuckles bubble inside Seth's throat, he lets them out—soft and carefree. "I'll gladly accept the punishment, daddy."

"Good. Now come," Roman guides them to the bed. Seth finds himself tucked protectively between Roman's legs. The royal's imposing body cocooning him as a large hand rests on his stomach. He accepts the bowl Roman gives him, grabbing one chicken drumstick and offering Roman one too.

They eat in silence, much to Seth's relief. He likes how they are at the moment. It's cozy, the most peaceful he's been in a while. His head rests on Roman's shoulder, relishing how it feels like they're in a bubble. A bubble in which it's just the two of them, being consumed by each other. By their love.

Eyes closing, Seth allows the intoxication to grow. Roman's lips are at the back of his neck, kissing and biting gently—proclaiming. _You're mine and I love you the way you are,_ they whisper into his skin. Roman's lips declare the words with so much certainty that the words start seeping into Seth's body, travelling into his organs. His heart and then his soul until not one inch of him doubts it. He's loved, the way he is. Sincerely, without doubt and without hesitation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly thought I wouldn't be able to put up this chapter this week, LOL. I had to change a few things on it first. But there you are and thank you so much for reading!

Roman wakes to an octopus attached to him—it's an entanglement of limbs around his waist and neck. Messy brown hair tickles face, while Seth breathes into his neck. Roman shifts (attempts to) from the body clinging to him just slightly to look at Seth's sleeping form.

Seth's beauty never leaves him. Even now, with his eyes puffy from all his crying. His beauty is still there despite his swollen lips from how hard he'd been biting on them. Seth remains completely beautiful despite the frown lines on his face. He's still enchantingly beautiful despite his blotchy face.

Roman's lips touch the sleeping man's forehead softly, it causes Seth to lean into him, muttering nonsensically before whispering Roman's name. It brings a tiny smile to Roman's face. On nights where his dreams don't consist of Tyler, they revolve around Seth. And he wonders if he's ever said the brunet's name whilst deep in slumber. He thinks it's possible.

It's still quite early into the morning, nearing 05:30 AM, to be precise. Roman thinks he's slept for two hours maybe. After Seth had poured his heart out last night, they'd stayed up until 03:00 before Seth fell asleep again. He'd looked more exhausted than Roman's ever seen him, emotionally drained too.

What he'd seen last night had almost prompted him to kick Katherine out of his house. Because this feels like Ariana and Tyler all over again. Tyler hadn't been pimped out by his mother but it still feels very much the same to Roman. So he'd monitored Seth last night, from his office, he'd kept an eye to ensure that the brunet wouldn't harm himself.

Roman's stomach twists viciously when he remembers Seth's cries. His heart breaks all over again. Seth had looked so bad that he'd almost damned the brunet's instruction to stay away and gone to their bedroom to comfort him. Seth's cries still haunt him, they still echo in his head—loud and wretched.

"You're safe now, alofagia… loved. I love you so much," Roman says the words quietly against Seth's forehead. And he means it, wrath will befall anyone who dares to hurt the man in his arms. Seth's mother included—especially her. They still don't know what she wants and Roman hadn't bothered to engage in much talk with her last night. His priority had been Seth, he still is.

Katherine had conversed with Masina though, helped make the dinner they were eating last night too. Roman thinks he'd heard her crying, but he can't be sure. He'd just heard her voice in passing when going to his study. But he'll be lying if he says he isn't curious to find out what it is she wants from Seth. A part of him thinks money, he knows parents like her. Toxic parents who only ever show interest in their children when it benefits them.

She won't get any money from them though. If it's money that she wants, Roman will make sure she leaves without a cent. He'll have Bobby fly her back to the hellhole she came from, and make sure she never sees Seth again. He won't stand for that kind of negativity around Seth. He won't let Seth be another Tyler, won't allow Seth to feel unworthy and useless. And maybe that's why their paths crossed.

Maybe this is his second chance to love harder, better than he'd done with Tyler. And that's what Roman will do. He'll shower Seth with so much love and affection. And ensure Seth doesn't ever doubt his love for him. He'll show Seth, in his actions, how he values him so. And he'll tell the brunet everyday how lucky he is until it sinks into the man's head, that Roman is the privileged one here.

Quietly, Roman tries to detach himself from Seth, who keeps gripping him, still fast asleep. He replaces his body with his pillow, laughing softly when Seth latches to the pillow and buries his face in it. Roman kisses his unruly brunet hair before hesitantly creeping to the front door.

Entering his and Seth's bedroom, Roman grabs his phone, messaging Masina to order Seth's favorite donuts and a litter of mango juice. Masina responds almost immediately, confirming that she's on it. Manuia's next on his list, Roman messages him too, asking him to take over his meetings for him. He messages Bayley last, asking her to reschedule the meetings that need his presence.

Roman takes less than ten minutes to shower, drying his body before going to the en-suite closet. He grabs a pair of black Nike shorts and a navy short-sleeved t-shirt. Going back to the bedroom, he lotions his body, sprays deodorant and gets dressed. Grey sneakers accommodate his feet and he goes to give himself a once over on the full body mirror. Seth normally ties his hair, but since he's still asleep, Roman ties it into a bun himself. It's neater than Seth's, more meticulous. A waste seeing as he'll be spending his day indoors today.

Seth is still fast asleep when Roman goes to check on him so the royal closes the guestroom door silently. His feet carry him to the kitchen where he finds _her_ seated on one of the stools at the kitchen island. When their eyes connect, Katherine's eyes widen, big as saucers. Roman almost laughs, he's seeing Seth in her at the moment.

"Good morning," she greets first.

"Morning," Roman returns awkwardly, examining her. She looks like she hasn't had a decent meal in ages, with how skinny she is. Her hair is thinning and she looks a bit frail to him. He clears his throat when he realizes he's been caught staring. "How did you sleep?" he asks, out of politeness, more than anything.

"Good, t-thanks for asking you. How 'bout you?"

"Quite well, considering current circumstances. I can't say the same for _your son_ though. He's been in pain since you forced your way into his life." His mind rushes to his mouth. Roman leans against the fridge, scowling at the fidgety woman.

"I-I know," Katherine exhales shakily. "It's not my intention to cause him pain. I-I just really wanted to see him. H-He's my son."

"W-Who you whored out for money!" Roman growls, uncaring as Katherine flinches, her eyes dropping. Now that it's sunk in that she's here, he wants to snap at her. Have her punished—for every single crime she's ever committed against her own child. There's an anger simmering inside him on Seth's behalf. "What kind of mother are you?! Do you even have a heart?! How could you use your _child_ like that?!"

"I-I'm s-sorry," Katherine's cheeks are wet, her voice tremulous. "If I-I could t-take—"

Roman stops her stammering with a scoff. He has no care for this woman's false remorse. "You're going to tell your son why you're here, Ms. Rollins. And then you're leaving our home. I have no desire to see you anywhere near Seth. He's loved now, cherished. I won't let you break him down. You're a negative force in his life. You need to stay away from him…for good. It's better for everyone that way."

Masina enters the kitchen, warm smile on her face. If she notices the tense mood, she says nothing as she plants her lips against Roman's cheek, asking if he's okay in Samoan before patting his cheek. Roman exits the kitchen when she turns to Katherine for conversation. He goes to wait for Seth's donuts in the living room, knowing Masina will bring them once they've arrived.

"Leati…" Roman turns away from the blank screen to give his middle-aged helper a glance. There's a box in her hand, and a carton of mango juice in the other. "The food's here."

"Thank you." He accepts the food.

Masina's smile is motherly, "Tell Seth I said to feel better. To not stress about things he had no control over. Tell him to rest, he needs it. And you, you're not going to meddle in that woman's affairs with her son. Maybe she's realized her wrongs, and maybe she wants a relationship with her son. Maybe she wants to make up for her mistakes. Give her a chance to explain herself. Don't meddle, be there for Seth but this is between him and his mother."

"I'll step aside, Masina. But if she's hurting him, I'll have to step in. She's not going to do it, not in my presence. We're partners, and that means we share. His heartache is my heartache. When he hurts, I hurt too. If that woman's affecting him, I'm affected too. And I won't stand for it."

"But it's still between Seth and Katherine, Leati. Try not to interfere too much, let them talk things out. Let Seth make his own decisions, let him work out his feelings. Balance is key, be there for him but not so much that you're interfering and adding to his stress."

"I get you, Masina." Roman tells the mocha skinned woman, already heading for the stairs. "Thank you for the food."

"Tell him to talk to her when he's ready. He needn't rush it just because he wants her gone. Tell him to take all the time he needs."

"I will," Roman calls out before giving Masina a gracious smile.

Seth still has his pillow hugged tightly, his breathy snores echoing in the room. Only five minutes remain until the clock hits 06:30 AM and the sun's already creeping in from the cracks of the light curtains. Roman is conflicted on whether or not to wake Seth up for breakfast. It's not like his food will get cold if he wakes up a bit later to eat.

The decision is made for him, there's a shuffle on the bed before big drowsy eyes blink up at him. They are still red, but Roman can see a hint of a smile in them. He settles on the bed, kissing Seth's temple once the brunet sits up. "Alofagia," he greets, kissing swollen lips swiftly.

"Morning daddy."

"How did you sleep?"

Seth climbs onto Roman's lap, caressing his beard. He issues no response, but he looks into Roman's eyes before leaning forward and crushing their lips together gently. "I slept okay, no bad dreams after I…came to you."

"Good, that's good."

"You're here…thank you, for not leaving."

"I said I'd be here."

"You did," Seth averts his gaze, Roman melts when his eyes light up. "Donuts? You got us donuts?"

"I got _you,_ donuts. But I'll have one if you're willing to share…"

"I don't know, Rome—" Seth rubs on his chin, pretending to be deep in thought. "Fine…you're allowed one."

Roman chuckles lowly, repositioning their bodies on the bed. He tucks Seth in between his legs like he did last night, kissing the hair at the nape of his neck. Seth releases a shaky sigh before leaning against him completely. "Masina said to take your time…with her. We can just stay hidden here, for now. Just you and me…away from the others."

"I'd really like that," Seth hums quietly. "We can just talk and watch…cartoons?"

"Cartoons?"

"You love Donald Duck, don't you?"

"Cartoon marathon it is."

"Dean's moving in with Antonio, he told me two days ago." Seth breaks their thirty minute silence, but he speaks softly as if not wanting to disrupt the coziness.

"Oh?"

"Yes. He didn't want to, at first." Seth nods his head. "He was terrified to. Me and him, we grew up the same way in most cases. He had an abusive dad. Dean left home when he was eighteen."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

Seth shakes his head, he rests the side of his head on Roman's chest. "'S okay. You know Xavier's the only one out of the three of us who had a stable upbringing. He has a mom and dad, both of them love him so much. And so supportive of him. I used to be jealous. When he first started at the club, I didn't like him. He was too bright, too optimistic. I resented him for having great parents. Because I—didn't have that."

"I'm sure he understood, if you explained the dislike to him."

"He understood a bit from the beginning, he never stopped being kind. We started being friends after he missed three days off work. Hunter gave me his address to go check up on him. I did, he was—never mind. But we've been friends ever since. The three of us, for a long time it's just been us. And then Xavier got R-Randy. Then Dean got Antonio. And I found you, the royal bastard who's a prick nine times out of ten."

Roman's chuckles rumble in the entire room, stealing the spotlight from the cartoons on the TV. He can hear Seth's laughs, they're much quieter than his but there nonetheless. Roman kisses Seth's hair, he likes them like this—carefree and serene.

"But I'm still all yours."

Seth entwines their hands, he tilts his head, gazing into Roman's eyes with a gentle grin on his face. "Yes, you are mine. And I'll fuck up anyone who dares touch you. I'll fuck you up too, if you entertain it."

"My, my…a little possessive today, aren't we?"

"Your behavior was bound to rub off on me. You created this." Roman tries to reach for Seth, but the brunet turns to face him, bouncing up and down while trying to close the baggy shirt he has on. "Um, I need to pee Roman." He skids to the bathroom, making Roman laugh quietly.

When Seth comes back, Roman's already made the bed. "I'm going to take a shower. I feel disgusting." Roman gives the brunet an inquisitive eyebrow, Seth merely shrugs his shoulder. "It's hot, I feel sticky."

Roman finds himself sat on the toilet seat as he watches Seth submerge himself in cold water. The brunet is clearly unperturbed by it as his contented sigh sounds in the bathroom. "I'm sorry, Seth." Roman says quietly, clearing his throat when Seth gives him a puzzled look. "For when I met you. I'm sorry for throwing that money at you. I'm sorry for the name-calling. I understand how worthless it must've made you feel. I'm sorry that I was just like the others. A part of me had already resented you because I—when I found out you were a prostitute, I was taken back to Ariana. And then there was the trouble that came with being associated to you, I couldn't see anything past the anger. I let my emotions control me, and for that I am sorry. I'm sorry for being no better than them, alofagia."

Silence fills the bathroom after Roman's spoken the words. He can't tell what Seth's thinking with how the brunet's turned away from him, that brown hair of his cloaking him. Roman doesn't try to ask him to say something. He allows the words to sink in, gives Seth his space.

"You still look at me the same." Seth says in a low voice. "Even after last night…you look at me the same."

"Because I love you, Seth. I meant what I said last night, nothing will change my mind about you. Especially your past. I'm in love with you, alofagia."

Seth finally turns to face him, his doe eyes inquisitive. Roman stares right back, unwavering, face serious as ever. A light exhale leaves Seth, there's a slight smile on his face when responds, "I'm in love with you too, Roman."

"Phew!" Roman wipes an imaginary bead of sweat from his forehead.

He's rewarded with a chuckle and then, "I…forgive you too."

Roman's heart threatens to rip in two from the words, in disbelief. He's wanted to hear those words from Seth for a really long time. But now that he's heard them, all he feels is gratitude. "Thank you, Seth."

"I'm choosing to forgive you because I'm putting my faith in you. I hope it will never happen again."

"Of course," Roman nods his head.

That inquisitive look in Seth's eyes returns but he says nothing else. He merely sighs, resuming with his bath. "I'm tired, I need more sleep."

"You just woke up," Roman furrows his eyebrows.

"I don't care."

Handing a towel to Seth, the pair exit the guestroom together, going to their bedroom. Roman settles on one of the chairs in the room, eyes fixated on the brunet who's getting dressed. There's a stirring going on inside his pants that makes him groan lowly. He hasn't had sex in a while, for two whole days he hasn't buried himself in Seth's warmth. Initially, because of Seth's study sessions and him having to focus on his exams. And now because Roman isn't sure if Seth will agree to it, with the stress of his mom and all.

Roman's thoughts are broken by Seth's quiet, "All done."

"You look beautiful," Roman compliments, smiling as Seth's cheeks heat up. The brunet's in a pair of shorts and a white tank top, hair tied into a messy bun. Despite the exhaustion showing on his face, Seth still remains beautiful. For Roman, the brunet doesn't even try. He's always so beautiful to him.

"Thank you. I'd like to go outside for a bit, get some fresh air. Maybe in the balcony?"

"Anything you want, baby." Roman leads them to the balcony. Outside, they get comfortable on the loveseat, with Seth laying on top of Roman. He buries his face into Roman's neck and sighs softly.

"You have a boner."

Roman laughs quietly, his hands travelling to Seth's ass. "I'm always hard around you, alofagia."

"You want to have sex?"

"Maybe later, when you're feeling better." Roman's lips touch Seth's forehead.

"Good because I don't think I could give it to you. Your scent is nauseating and comforting at the same time. And I don't know why…" Seth kisses his cheek, making Roman confused as fuck. "I feel like strangling you too, but I don't want to because then I'd have to be without you. I still need you and I can't just murder you for no reason."

"You okay, alofagia?" Roman asks, confused. How the hell did they get to having a conversation about his murder?

"I'll be fine…if you're quiet and just hold me."

Roman raises an eyebrow, even though with their current position, Seth can't really see it. He holds Seth tighter to him, kissing his forehead gently before basking in the silence. He feels Seth's breath even out not too long after. It's contagious, and Roman thinks he hears Katherine's voice along with Masina's just before he joins Seth too, falling in a deep slumber.

The next time he wakes up Roman's arms are vacant. He sits up the loveseat, rubbing his eyes, still disoriented. "Seth?" he calls out once awake enough. He enters their bedroom, finding Seth pacing around and talking quietly to himself. "Alofagia?"

Panicked brown eyes look at him, "Rome…"

"Everything okay?" Roman immediately slaps his forehead mentally as the words leave him. Obviously everything is _not_ okay. Not with the way Seth's pacing. Not with that look in his eyes. Roman walks to him, placing his arms on the smaller man's waist. "What is it?"

"I-I think I'm ready." Seth's tone is hushed.

_Oh._ "Are you sure? Do you still want me there with you?"

Seth nods his head, leaning up to kiss Roman's lips. "Yes."

"Okay. Just do what's best for you, okay? Don't feel bad about any of it."

"Thank you."

Roman joins their hands when they exit the bedroom. He can feel Seth's nerves, can practically touch them as they roll off in waves from him. The grip on his hand also reveals Seth's emotions. Roman thinks the brunet's gripping his hand to anchor himself.

"Masina…" Seth sounds relieved, probably because she's the only one they meet when they enter the kitchen.

Roman begrudgingly lets go of Seth's hand when Masina brings his boyfriend into hug. She kisses Seth's cheek, scrutinizing him with a sparkle in her eye. Roman isn't sure what that look means. "Seth, you look a bit more rested. Are you hungry? You haven't eaten in four hours. I can make you something good and filling." She sounds too fussy to Roman but he says nothing.

Seth is chuckling softly, nodding his head. "As long as it has meat, Masina. Also, h-have you seen Katherine? W-Where is she?"

"She went to her room not too long ago. Why don't you and Leati go to the den, mhm? I'll get her to join you there."

"Okay…" Seth nods to himself. "That's okay." Roman's hand is gripped again when they settle in the living room. "What do you think she wants?" There's a tense aura exuding from Seth, his tone is too clipped.

"I don't know," Roman answers honestly. He kisses their joined hands and looks Seth in the eyes. He senses a presence behind them, knowing it's _her._ "Guess we'll find out now."

"Take a seat," it's Seth who says the words, because Katherine had resembled a lost kid for a while, with her awkwardly standing in front of them. "Roman, meet Katherine. She gave birth to me. Katherine, Roman—my boyfriend."

"Nice to meet you," Katherine speaks first, meeting Roman's eyes.

"Likewise," Roman returns, he spares a glance at Seth when the brunet squeezes his hand. The brunet stares back, Roman thinks he sees an angry fire in his eyes and hopes it's not meant for him. He doesn't want to be on Seth's bad side. No sir, not today.

"Why are you here?"

Roman keeps silent, struggling to remain unperturbed with each moment he spends in the tension filled room. Katherine's eyes dart around, they don't remain locked on one place. The woman's still too skittish. "Before I begin, I just want to tell you that you look so beautiful son. I'm so proud of you, your achievements."

Seth scoffs, snatching his hand away from Roman's. "Thank you, Katherine. I did it all on my own, without your help. It wasn't easy at first, I-I had to do what you taught me to do best. But at least this time, I knew what I wanted out of it. I'm graduating soon."

Katherine clears her throat, she nods her head. "It doesn't matter how you got it son. I'm still—"

"Of course, it never mattered!" Seth cuts her short, his anger so tangible that Roman senses it—all around them. "As long as you were getting the food. And paying the bills. It didn't matter that it was at _my_ expense. _Me,_ Katherine— _your s-son._ How c-could you?"

The tears start again, from both mother and son this time. Roman brings a fighting Seth to him, setting him on his lap and holding onto him tightly. He wants to whisper words of comfort, words of love. But he knows his presence is more than enough. He lets his whole aura, his scent, to comfort the brunet crying hysterically in his arms. He'll take Masina's advice, he won't interfere.

"I'm sorry, baby boy. S-So sorry. I…we needed the money, baby. In my mind, at that—"

"FUCK YOU! ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?!" Seth erupts, voice even more pain filled than last night. It increases an octave higher with each screamed word. "YOU SOLD ME, KATHERINE. MANIPULATED ME INTO SLEEPING WITH DIFFERENT MEN. _HIT ME!_ I-I'M YOUR CHILD, SO WHY? WHY DO YOU HATE ME? WHY DON'T YOU L-LOVE M-ME?"

"I DO _LOVE_ YOU, SON." Katherine returns just as loud, tears streaming down her face. She shakes her head, looking at Seth through blurry eyes. "I love you so much Seth. You're my only child. I never meant to hurt you."

"Then what did you mean? Love…" Seth snorts, "You don't treat the people you love the way you treated me. I-I was always walking on eggshells around y-you. Afraid of using the bathroom, of using the toiletries. I was constantly stopping myself from taking more than two slices of bread because I was always scared. I was always scared, of y-you. My m-mother, the one person who's supposed to protect m-me."

"And then I'd h-have to go to school with bruises, a-all from you. You hurt me, you hurt me so much. I don't know what y-you want from me. I don't know why y-you can't leave me be. I've tried to forgive you but all y-you ever do is abuse my trust. A-All you ever do is take from me. So what do you want this time? More money?"

"I don't w-want money," Katherine croaks, futilely attempting to wipe her tears away. "I just want _you._ That's all I'm looking for, a relationship with you son."

Seth shakes his head no frantically, he's still sobbing—deeply and gut wrenchingly. Roman's heart cracks for him, for the pain he's in. He kisses the back of his neck, feeling Seth flinch as if he's now realizing that he's in Roman's arms. Seth's cracked 'no' echoes in the room, loudly, as he repeats the word over and over again, in anguish.

"It's true son," Katherine speaks again, tremulously. "A-A few months ago, I was diagnosed with cirrhosis. It's a scarring of the liver caused by long-term liver damage. I was always tired, weak. Sometimes I'd vomit blood, have itchy skin. I lost weight too, a lot of it actually. I went to the hospital and they diagnosed me. There ain't no cure for it at the moment, the only thing I've stopped doing is drinking alcohol. My liver's messed up pretty bad, the doctors thought I'd need a liver transplant. But they said there was an improvement so there is a possibility I won't need one for a very long time."

"It was a wakeup call Seth. A wakeup call that I could die any day and I wouldn't have a relationship with you. You're my only family, you're all I have son. And I just want to fix things. If I ever die, I want to die knowing I made things right with you. I-It hasn't been easy, these past few months. You know how I was with alcohol, having to stop drinking was one of the hardest things I had to do. But I did it, because I don't want to die. Not yet. I s-still want to see you reach your full potential son. I want to see you become what I never was. But more than anything, I just need an opportunity—to love you right, as a parent should. Please Seth."

"And how do I know you're not lying? Y-You were always lying, Katherine. How do I know that this isn't a trick?"

"The medical reports. I have them in my bag, son." Katherine stands up, wiping her tears and looking ready to go back upstairs for the proof.

"N-No," Seth stammers. He leans back against Roman, releasing a shaky exhale. "Later. Is that a-all you w-want?"

"Yes," Katherine whispers, sitting back down.

"I don't know if I can trust you again," Seth croaks, folding his arms across his chest protectively. "I don't know if I want a relationship w-with you. You're too toxic, a-and I don't want that around me. I've been trying to m-move on Katherine. F-From my—past. I'm t-tired of h-hurting, I don't want to think about it and h-hurt. With you here, I'm feeling all those emotions all over again. I don't know—" Seth's confusion is blatant, he bites on his lip, looking at the woman who birthed him, tears in his eyes. "I don't know what to do." He shakes his head, hiccupping. "T-Tell me w-what to do."

A silence dominates the living room, leaving Seth's words hanging in the air. They only add to the intensity of the emotions filling the living room. There are too many of them, all too black that Roman doesn't try to explore them. His grip remains around Seth's waist, silently supporting his boyfriend. He hopes Seth knows it, with the way he tightens his arms around him and in the way he kisses his hair that he'll support whatever decision the brunet decides to make.

"I can't tell you what to do, baby. I did it for so long that it's not fair to do it now. I just want us to have a relationship, Seth. If you're not willing, I'll understand. I'll respect whatever decision you make."

"I can't do this, not now." Seth shakes his head, face hidden in his palms.

"I see," Katherine has disappointed written all over her face. "It's okay, I won't force you baby. Take your time."

"Can w-we go to Masina?"

Seth is looking at him, lip bitten as he asks the question so Roman nods his head. He kisses swollen red lips, holding Seth's hand in his as they head to the kitchen. Katherine's wise enough to remain in the living room. Roman has a feeling her presence would've felt too suffocating to Seth.

Only a few minutes remain before the clock hits one so Roman figures it's the prefect time for lunch. The kitchen smells with tantalizing aromas when they enter, and Roman's lips lift a little when Seth inhales deeply. He hopes the food will bring the brunet a bit of comfort. "Hungry?" he asks.

"Like a lion," Seth confirms quietly.

"Always so hungry," Roman kisses Seth's forehead before leaning down to capture his lips gently. Seth hugs his waist tightly when the kiss ends, Roman allows it. Allows Seth to take comfort in his scent for as long as possible, his own arm folded around Seth's neck. "I love you and I am here for you. Whatever decision you make, I'm supporting. I don't want you to forget that. And neither do I want you to forget how special you are, every inch of _you_ is so special. And I am the luckiest man on earth. You're so special Seth."

"I am special," Seth whispers against Roman's shoulder.

"Yes you are, alofagia. Because there can never be another _you_ as a person. You're irreplaceable, baby."

"You make a really great boyfriend when you want to, Roman."

Roman chortles loudly, deciding not to take offense. Masina enters the kitchen to find him still chuckling to himself. Seth has a hint of a grin on his face but he still looks down so it's not that prominent. "I'll try to make a great boyfriend everyday, just for you, alofagia." He says finally.

Seth snorts but leans up to place a swift kiss to his lips, "We'll see."

"What's wrong?" Roman asks when he notices Seth's scrunch up his nose, as if disgusted by something.

"Eurgh, Masina get it away! Get. It. Away! _Disgusting,_ " Roman follows Seth's line of sight, finding prawn kebabs placed on two plates. Seth's squeezed his nose with his fingers, looking like he might vomit any minute.

"You don't want this?" Masina asks.

"Do I look like I want it?! Just get it away from me!" Seth snaps a little too harshly for Roman's liking. "What?!" that same tone is aimed towards him when he raises an eyebrow. Roman receives a glare from hell before Seth storms out of the kitchen, leaving the royal unpleasantly confused.

"What the hell was that?" Roman turns to Masina.

"You'll find out…soon enough." That sparkle Roman had seen earlier returns, but the royal still can't decipher what it means. "Well, I better make something else then. Why don't you go distract him while I do that?"

Roman looks at Masina as if she's crazy. "Masina…I don't think I can. Didn't you see that look he gave me?"

"He'll only get angrier if you don't go check up on him, Leati. Don't be a fool."

"Fine," Roman concurs after a minute's consideration.

"Good, now go up. I'll bring the food myself. Distract him with these Cheetos in the meantime—" Masina shoves a big bag of chips in his chest, Roman accepts it, mind working slowly. "They seem to be a favorite of his."

"Uh, thanks Masina."

Roman passes an empty living room on his way up, Katherine must have gone back to her room then. Knocking on their bedroom door first, Roman opens it quietly to test if his presence is welcomed. He finds Seth sat on the bed, staring at the walls blankly, like last night. "Alofagia?" he begins carefully. "I got you something."

"W-What?"

"Cheetos." Roman heads to the bed when Seth nods his okay. "I'm sorry okay? Masina too, for upsetting you."

"'M not upset."

"Oh?"

"Mhm," Seth hums, opening the Cheetos bag. "'M confused."

"Maybe I can help?"

"What do I do, Row-man?" Seth turns to face him, climbing onto his lap.

"What feels right to you," Roman tells the brunet gazing at him with trembling eyes. He can't decide for Seth what to do. Katherine seemed sincere, and maybe with all he's heard he'd like to give her a chance to redeem herself but it's all up to Seth. With all the abuse he put up with from his mom, he wouldn't blame the brunet if he didn't want a relationship with her.

"I just, I don't know. If I can trust her, around me, around _you._ I don't want her around us, our lives. She's too harmful. But she's still my parent, I care for her as much as I hate her. What if she'd died, Roman? All alone, without me. I don't want that for her."

"I think you already know what you want to do, alofagia. Like I said before, I'll support whatever decision you make. I'm here for you."

"So she's staying another night?"

"It's all up to you."

Seth nods his head, he sighs softly. "Just one more."

"Okay, alofagia."

A comfortable quiet ensues between the two of them thereafter. Seth hasn't managed to finish his Cheetos, they're now occupying the bed. The brunet thought caressing Roman's beard would be a much better idea. The royal's eyes soften in love, he smiles a little, he thinks the man in his arms might be obsessed with his beard, he strokes it way too much.

"I think I'm ready to have sex now, Roman." Seth says it so innocently but the lewd look on his face has Roman groaning low in his throat.

"Masina's making your food. She said it won't take long. What if she comes here in the middle of it? I'm not going to stop until I come, Seth. She'll see things she's not supposed to."

Of course, Seth doesn't listen, he can be stubborn when he wants to. Roman releases a moan coming from deep inside his throat when a confident hand grips his dick through his pants. "Seth—" a stroke to his throbbing erection has Roman throwing his head back. Jaw clenching, he looks at Seth through lidded eyes. "Fuck, baby. What are you doing?"

"Taking care of you. You want that, don't you?"

"Fuck yes!" maybe he sounds too eager but Roman can't bring himself to care. Not when Seth's helping him take of his shorts and underwear. Not when his sexy as fuck boyfriend is getting on his knees and looking up at him so suggestively. "Shit, baby—you look so beautiful." Roman tries his best not to wheeze his words out but Seth's sucking on his dick as if it's his favorite lollipop.

The brunet's determined, looking up at him in love and worshipping his dick. Roman's breath leaves him, and it's not just from how much of a fucking pro Seth is when it comes to sucking dick. But it's the look in his eyes too, it's his beauty and how he looks so serene while taking Roman's cock into his mouth. "I love you." Roman strokes his cheek softly.

Seth's eyes light up, he looks angelic but so darn indecent that it has Roman growling in approval. He grips Seth's hair, sliding in and out of his warm mouth, going deeper and deeper until his dick hits the back of Seth's throat. The brunet is dripping with saliva, and choking on Roman's dick but he's determined as ever. Roman bucks into his mouth when he feels a knotting in his stomach. His hands grip Seth's hair, holding him in place while feeding the brunet his essence.

A different heat engulfs his cock next, it has Roman gripping Seth's hips in a bruising hold. The brunet folds his arms around Roman's neck, bouncing on Roman's dick and kissing him fiercely. It's fast, sensual and passionate. They sigh against each other's lips when they come, "Damn Seth," Roman says after he's caught his breath.

Seth laughs, arms folded around Roman's neck. "Damn, daddy."

Roman lifts off the bed, with Seth in his arms, striding to the bathroom. After getting cleaned up, they head back to the bedroom. They're just in time because a knock sounds once, twice at their door before it opens. Masina comes in carrying a tray with two plates and two glasses of juice.

"Hey, Masina." Seth greets nervously. "'M sorry about earlier."

Masina waves him off, "I understand, it's not your fault."

When Seth looks at him, Roman shrugs his shoulders. He's just as lost too. "Okay, thank you so much Masina."

Masina graces them with a grin, looking between them with that sparkle again before leaving their bedroom. Seth immediately grabs his plate after she's left. His moan bounces off the walls in their bedroom. "Mmm, spicy fried chicken. Now this is better, looks better than the _prawns_ too."

Roman laughs at Seth's distaste over the prawns Masina made. "I've seen you eat prawns before, alofagia. I don't know what's changed."

"Their smell, disgusting!" Seth frowns.

"I see. Thank god for our savior the chicken then. We can enjoy that. And forget all about the bad monstrous prawns."

Seth chuckles heartily, he looks better, lighter—despite his puffy eyes. Roman doesn't think he's ever seen him cry as he did these past twenty-four hours. It still brings a pain to his heart because he doesn't ever want to see Seth hurt like that. And if he could, he would take away the brunet's pain. "You're crazy."

"In love with you? Yeah I am."

"Tsk tsk, so corny."

The bright grin on Seth's face is worth all the corniness in the world. Roman would do anything to ensure it stayed there everyday. He loves seeing Seth like this, the brightness rubs off on him. It's intoxicating, like the man sitting cross legged and facing him as he eats Masina's food enthusiastically. Roman doesn't think he's ever loved anyone this hard…

* * *

 

Dinner finds Seth seated next to Roman with Katherine sat across from them like last night. It's much more peaceful than the previous one, much more relaxed. Seth thinks it has to do with him having tried to place his feelings the entire day. He'd stayed with Roman in their bedroom, thought things through and he thinks he's finally made a decision.

Katherine's eyes keep clashing with his, and it stems from the fact that they both keep trying to avoid eye contact. The sound of cutlery slicing into their food gently sounds in the room. Roman has been trying to engage in conversation with Katherine and Seth has found himself not as mad as he was last night.

He blinks his eyes when Roman breaks the silence in the dining room again. "So Ms. Rollins, what do you do for a living?"

Seth mentally rolls his eyes, remembering the last time Roman asked someone that question. It was at Bayside Marketplace a while ago, when the royal bastard had invited himself to his and Elias' outing.

"Uh, I got a job now. It's a waitress position at a twenty-four hour diner back home. The pay's bad but it's better than what I was doing before."

Their eyes clash again when Katherine says that, her eyes seem to be scrutinizing, to see if he'll get worked up or not. Seth shoves a broccoli into his mouth, trying to be unperturbed. "Manny's Foods?" he remembers that diner vaguely.

Katherine seems surprised that he's actually talking to her, making Seth want to roll his eyes. She recovers, answering, "Yes. Manny's son, Eric, took over though. It ain't that busy no more but there are a few loyal customers."

"Eric…he's a good guy. The only person I could ever come close enough to calling friend in that _place._ " Seth doesn't bother trying to hide his distaste. He hates Keokuk, it has too many hurtful memories.

"I can offer my advise, see what can be done to grow the diner or bring in new customers." Roman says quietly.

Seth glances at his boyfriend, "Really?"

"Yes, if he's a good guy and was kind to you, I don't see why not. It's a repayment for his kindness."

Seth's eyes water, he feels like crying. It's all he ever does lately and he doesn't know what the fuck is wrong with him but his feelings are all over the place. "That's a great idea, baby." He kisses Roman's lips softly.

"I'm sure he'll be overjoyed. Seth's right, he's a really good man. Allowed me to take all the time I needed when I was searching for Seth, promised my job will still be available when I go back home."

"About that—" Seth eyes Katherine. "You're leaving first thing tomorrow."

"Oh," the disappointment he hears in Katherine's voice causes his heart to clench in a pang of guilt. The bleakness in her eyes reveals how much she wants to stay but Seth can't have that. It's too soon.

"Yes."

"I understand—" the woman's lying, everything about her screams disappointed. "Well, have you thought about our conversation? Do y-you think we can, I don't know…work things out? Or try to. Whichever works for you."

"I have," Seth clears his throat. He looks back at Roman who's looking at him intensely, blatant love and support on his features. Their hands entwine before Seth looks back to Katherine. "I h-have made my decision," he stammers, feeling unconfident.

"Okay…" Katherine trails off. Seth can see her nervousness, can feel it even. He sees her conscious effort to maintain eye contact.

"We'll start small. With telephonic conversations. Then we'll take it from there. I don't want you pressuring me. You're not going to ask for money. You're not going to ask for any visits. Everything just starts…slow. That's all I can give you. And I think it's more than fair, if you consider what I suffered at your hands."

"I'm grateful, Seth."

Seth nods his head, he leaves his chair. "You'll give Roman the details he needs about Eric. I don't think I'll be available to bid you farewell tomorrow. So goodbye Katherine, have a safe journey." The bony woman gets up, making Seth release a panicky, "Please don't," when she attempts to hug him.

Katherine's hands immediately move away, "Of course, I'm so sorry Seth."

"I heard you the first twenty thousand times, " the words rush to his mouth before he can stop them. "Sorry," he whispers when Roman clears his throat but says nothing.

"It was only expected. So I guess this is goodbye, Seth. I hope we can meet up again, not too long from now. That is, when you're ready of course. But I'll call, everyday…if you don't mind?"

"N-No," Seth shakes his head.

"Thank you, son."

Seth nods his head, he turns to glance at a seated Roman. "Are you coming?"

Roman doesn't verbally respond, he lifts off his chair. Shaking hands with Katherine, the royal then gives his attention to Seth. "Let's go."

They get to the bedroom and Seth immediately seeks comfort in Roman's arms. He wraps his legs around the royal's waist, allowing the man to carry him the short distance to the bed. "How are you feeling?" Roman asks, balancing his weight on his elbows as he stares down at the brunet beneath him.

Seth bites on his bottom lip at first, staring up at Roman while caressing his cheeks. He considers his feelings, and answers honestly, "I don't know. I'm feeling a lot of things all at once."

Roman twists his nipple and Seth almost cries out in pain, wanting to kill the royal bastard. His nipples are more sensitive than usual today. "Do you know what you're feeling about your mom?"

"I'm still angry at her," Seth answers honestly. "She put me through so much. But I'm trying to forgive her, I thought about it earlier. If I forgive Katherine, I'm not doing it for her. I'm doing it for me, and my own peace. If I forgive her, then I'm also forgiving myself. And I'm moving on. Of course, somethings are easier said than done but I have to try. I owe it to myself to try."

That look of blatant love has returned on Roman's face. It's more determined than ever, more certain. _I love you_. Roman's whole aura seems to declare, confidently, without doubt. There's an awe in his expression too. Seth hates to say it makes him feel flushed.

"You're amazing, you know that?"

"I try," Seth shrugs.

"One day, our children will have the best daddy ever…or do you prefer mommy?"

Seth smiles, folding his legs around Roman's waist. "I don't mind either. It depends on what they'll get used to calling me."

"I admire you, alofagia. You're one of a kind."

Seth doesn't respond this time, he looks into Roman's brown depths instead. They make him feel warm and fuzzy inside. This admiration Roman is talking about, Seth sees it in his eyes. His eyes close when Roman kisses his eyelids. Katherine invades his mind, appearing in front of him. _Please don't make me regret this._ He chants inside his mind. He's been disappointed by her for so long and so much that he feels like he's taking a blind leap of faith with her again. He just hopes this time, she will be at the bottom waiting to catch him when he falls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, this is very long. It's a curse but I couldn't cut it short.

Seth runs a timid hand slowly down Roman's right arm, tracing the royal's intricate tribal tattoo with his fingers. He tries to appear as innocent as possible, tries to look irresistible when Roman turns to face him. There's a slight exhaustion he sees in his man's eyes that almost has him feeling guilty. Almost.

But he needs his boyfriend, and he needs him now. So the brunet smiles innocently, making sure to widen his eyes enough that Roman will give in. "Daddy…I need you."

Roman's clenched jaw and low groan has Seth throbbing even harder than before, and dripping inside his underwear. He bites on his lip, blinking up at Roman who responds with an incredulous, "Again?"

"Yes," Feeling confident, Seth grips his man's dick firmly, fondling the sexy man in front of him through his sweatpants.

Roman's growl sounds in their bedroom, "I fucked you less than an hour ago, alofagia." His voice sounds roughened, it's downright sexy.

"I need you again," Seth croaks, "Fuck me, Roman. Please." He never begs for sex but Seth needs his man today. He needs to feel Roman, pulsing inside him, owning and marking him with his cock. The sudden libido increase is making him insatiable. Maybe it has to do with Roman's scent, Seth's finding it irresistibly sexy today—more so than usual.

Drawn to the manly scent, Seth dips his head into Roman's neck, breathing him in. He then kisses, nips and sucks on the spot between neck and shoulder. Roman's growl has him whimpering in need, his hole twitching with want, despite it's swollen state—he's been fucked more times than he can remember. "Please, daddy. I need you," Seth's hands are already at work, slithering inside Roman's pants.

"Fuck, Seth. What's gotten into you?"

Roman is struggling to get his words out, making Seth smile to himself in victory. His boyfriend is leaning against the wall next to the dresser, one hand clutching the edge of the dresser in a white-knuckled grip. "You," Seth whispers seductively, hands caressing Roman's dick firmly. "You're so sexy, daddy. Everything about you sexy. You don't even try. And your cock is especially sexy. I want to feel it throbbing inside my mouth. And then I want to feel it inside me. Can I have that please, daddy?"

Not waiting for Roman to respond, Seth gets on his knees, staring up at Roman wide-eyed. Roman's cock, in his view—glistening, with precum spilling from the top, has Seth's breath coming out harshly. He grips it in his hand, longing to have it in his mouth. His man's groans of sexual frustration have Seth's stomach quivering. He bites on his bottom lip, wanting to run his tongue along the pulsing flesh. Licking his dry lips, Seth blinks up at Roman innocently, when the royal grips his face in sheer, unadulterated lust. The man's dark pupils are dilated, there's a vicious fire in them, his jaw clenched from barely contained control.

Slowly, while still gazing into transfixed dark swirls, Seth leans in and flicks the tip of his tongue on Roman's cock. He hears Roman's sharp intake of breath, feels the man's clasp his hair tightly. As soon as he gets a taste of Roman, Seth's eyes close feeling utterly contented. He goes to work, getting more of that veiny meat in his mouth.

Seth moans deep in his throat, loving the feel of Roman's velvety dick in his mouth. He alternates between humming and sucking on his man's dick. Giving everything he's got, while removing his shorts in the process. He strokes his own steel pole dick, trying to alleviate a bit of tension, while choking on Roman's dick—slicking it up nice and good for his starved hole. Seth pulls away, despite Roman's tight grip on his hair to keep him exactly where he his. Roman's dark stare tells him the royal's not pleased.

"Nuh uh, daddy. That cum, I want it in my ass."

Roman's growl thunder in their room, Seth gasps when he finds himself bent over the mahogany dresser. He grips either side of the dresser, pushing his ass out for Roman to use. "How do you want it?" Roman's voice sounds like sex, and so fucking authoritative, it has Seth moaning loudly.

"Make me purr, daddy. I'm at your merc—FUCK!" Seth's words turn into an aroused scream. Roman has a fistful of his hair gripped achingly, he's invaded his body in one go. And when his man finally fucks him, nothing is held back. Seth's screams are loud, high-pitched and bounce off the walls in their room. "F-Fuck, just like that, daddy."

The royal knows his body so well, knows where to use it and _how._ Seth feels a tingling sensation in his lower back with each peg to his prostate. He bites on his lip, shaking in euphoria, as Roman's thrusts get harder and harder and harder—causing his back to hit the dresser. Roman's fucking him with reckless abandon, the man's ramming into him, savagely—giving him exactly what he wants. Seth bites on his lip, focusing completely on the rapturous pleasure.

His arms fold around Roman's neck, legs wrapping around the royal's waist when Roman turns him around, picking him up as if he weighs nothing before slamming into him again. Seth groans, loving the feel of Roman moving inside him. "Aah—unh, daddy. You feel so good." His legs tighten harder around Roman's waist with each slam into his prostate. "Harder, Row-man! Give m-me all—AAAH!" Roman pounds into him so roughly, Seth's speech dies in his throat.

"You want it hard, baby boy? I'll give you hard!" _that_ voice makes him feel like a furnace. Seth throws his head back, his arms resting loosely on Roman's shoulders. His unfocused eyes find a vicious Roman, whose eyes burn obscenely dark.

"D-Daddy," he stammers, heart stumbling in love. Roman's scent surrounds him, touching his skin and setting it on fire. Seth feels he's experiencing some sort of heatwave to his entire body, to his heart. Roman's incessant as he pistons into him. He's claiming and fucking Seth like he owns him, every inch of him. The royal's in _so deep,_ taking him _so hard._ Without pause, without restriction.

"You. Are. Mine. All. Fucking. Mine!" Roman pounds him harder with each growled word, making Seth whimper while nodding his head frantically. The royal's growls are more animalistic than anything, making Seth's hands shake from the need to hold onto _something._ Because he hasn't an idea what to do with himself. He's trembling all over, feeling sparks of electricity rushing throughout his body.

"Holy fuck!" Seth cries out, a dizzy whirling sensation fogging through his brain. "I-I… daddy, I—" Seth can't get his words out. He looks into Roman's eyes, mind hazy. In the back of his mind, he knows what he wants to say but somehow the words won't come out. So he allows his exploding heart to proclaim the words loudly— _I love you._

Roman's eyes, darkened with hunger, soften slightly, as if the man knows what Seth wants to say. The brunet bites on his bottom lip, toes curled together, eyes rolled to the back of his head and stomach in knots when he feels _it_ coming. He trembles hard, blacking out with each thrust to his oversensitive prostate. The tears rain down his cheeks when he comes, shuddering in orgasmic bliss. "Aaaah, fuuuccck, Row-man!"

Seth holds on for the ride, sensitive hole quivering as it grips Roman's cock while the royal fucks him through his orgasm. Roman ravishes him, sliding in and out of him, each thrust he makes punctuated by a loud grunt. He holds Seth in a position where he can't move, making him take everything he has to give. The brunet sobs quietly, feeling far too sensitive when Roman strokes his wet dick hard, viciously.

The sensations ramming through him threaten to knock his lights out. Seth feels he can't take anymore. His hole ripples along Roman's plunging cock. He can barely breathe, his body spasms with each hard pounding. Seth meets Roman's eyes, they're darkened with arousal—and they're merciless. This man will be the death of him.

"Row-man!" Seth cries out, Roman's lips are attached to his nipples. Sucking fervently on the sensitive nubs, Seth's fingers entangle in the royal's hair—gripping. He's a whimpering mess, feeling the intensity of how hard he's being taken. Breathing isn't coming easily to him, he can't think straight, he can't move. He feels like jelly, and wants Roman to stop and continue at the same time.

But it's too much. _Too sensitive_. "Please," he begs, knowing nothing else will stop the man. "Roman, please."

"Say it," the instruction is growled into his ear hotly.

"No—AAH, UNGH!" Seth sobs, body shuddering from the hard pounding. "Please, d-daddy. No more…no m-more." He cries out.

Roman goes harder, making Seth cling to his body tightly. He squeezes his eyes shut, feeling himself being shoved against the drawer with each invasive thrust. Seth bites on his thumb, toes curled tightly as Roman bludgeons inside him. Roman's grunts reach his ears, the royal's lips touching his ear. The brunet's silent in his sobs, he swears he's on the verge of death. Swears his spirit is leaving his body.

Roman grips his face, holding it in place to plunder his mouth as he finally shoots his load deep inside him. The kiss is passionate, fiery and downright erotic. Roman sucks and licks on Seth's lips, before biting on them and soothing them with his tongue. Tiny whimpers sound in the room, while Seth milks the royal of his cum.

Seth rests his head on Roman's shoulder, breathing harshly and eyes still closed. He thinks Roman's broken his legs, there's a numbness there and he can't feel a thing. He can feel Roman's heart beat loudly against his, synchronized, like they belong. A tremulous smile stretches his lips. Vision blurry, Seth issues no complaint when Roman grips his face, kissing him tenderly on the lips and then his forehead.

"Hey," Roman whispers.

"Hey," Seth echoes, hoarsely.

He doesn't realize that he's wet with tears until Roman wipes them away, "Are you okay?" the royal asks, worriedly.

Seth nods his head softly, "I'm more than okay, Roman. I love you, so much." The royal's eyes light up, making him look so ethereal, so beautiful. Seth thinks he fell in love with a cosmic creature. "You're so… _beautiful._ " His sounds too dazed now—entranced.

Roman's chuckle makes his own lips quirk up. "No, you're the beautiful one here, alofagia." Roman's lips touch his forehead. "Naomi's probably downstairs, we should take a shower."

"Okay," Seth hums quietly. He still can't feel his legs so he's carried to the bathroom, without any complaint. If he could, he'd get Roman to carry him everywhere. In the bathroom, he ends up getting fucked again. Despite his sensitivity, Seth finds that he can't get enough of Roman. So he takes the royal's dick again, sobbing from oversensitivity while taking Roman's dick like the champ he is.

After their shower romp, they get around bathing before exiting the bathroom to get dressed. Seth's attention is stolen by his flashing phone, he grabs it, noticing he has a missed call. "Katherine called," he says quietly, not looking at Roman.

"Oh? Will you call back?"

Seth leans against his man's arms, rubbing his ass against Roman's dick. Playfully this time, he doesn't think his body can take another fucking. Maybe later, but definitely not now.

"No, I won't. She'll call again later." His relationship with Katherine isn't there yet. It's far from it, actually. It's been a month since she left their home, and the bony woman has been calling everyday since. Their conversations are awkward, stilted, and sometimes Seth finds himself not wanting to talk to her.

Roman's told him that he needn't feel guilty for that. His gorgeous boyfriend tells him he needn't talk to her when he doesn't want to. So on days, like today, where he doesn't want to talk to her, it's Roman who takes over. The royal's honest in his conversations with her, tells her that Seth isn't okay with engaging in any talks. If she's disappointed, Roman doesn't tell him. And Seth's fine with that, he doesn't want to know.

After they're fully dressed, Roman kisses him long and hard, complaining that he won't taste his lips as much as he'd like too. Seth doesn't feel for the royal much though, if Roman hadn't called Naomi to drop off Leilani then the two of them would be spending their whole Sunday together, being lazy and having sex.

Roman's taking him and Leilani out, and Seth's not sure where they're going. But they're headed to one of Leilani's best friends apparently. It's where Roman usually goes every other Sunday. Seth has never been invited before, but today Roman woke him up at eight, telling him they were going out.

"Oh good. You've finally decided to join us." Naomi says immediately they enter the living room. She looks beautiful, like she always does, in a simple sundress and sandals.

"All Seth's fault," Roman says in amusement, making Seth glare holes into him. But the royal bastard's unperturbed, the wink he aims towards Naomi causes a light bulb to go on in the mocha skinned woman's head.

"Really? Y'all had me waiting for a whole damn hour just to what? Get your freak on?"

"Hey!" Roman's amused stare makes Seth feel flushed. "Totally _his_ fault, okay? I don't know, man. He's on fire today, all that warmth. He's even wearing me out."

"Roman!" Seth's glare still has no effect on the royal bastard.

"What?" Roman shrugs non apologetically, "Do you see me complaining? It's a compliment, alofagia."

Seth shakes his head, while Naomi guffaws like something's funny. He wishes he could refute what Roman's saying, but it's pointless denying it. He's lusting after Roman, after his body, after his scent, after his dick. He can't help it. Just like he can't help a lot of things that have been happening to him recently. His slight weight gain, nausea, vomiting, exhaustion and, and, and.

He's due to see Dr. Baldwin this Tuesday though to find out his other birth control options. He should've gone a few weeks ago, but Roman's been getting busier and busier with work and the royal is insistent on going to the hospital with him. Seth doesn't mind Roman's overbearing behavior though, it's welcomed. There are days where he feels like crying when Roman's not near him so he takes all the attention he can get from him.

"Unca Seth!" a little voice breaks him out of his thoughts.

Seth picks the little girl holding onto his leg. Leilani's innocent little face brightens once in his arms, causing Seth's heart to melt with love. This little girl's love for him still stuns him. She's a little ray of sunlight in. "Bambi," he kisses her cheek, laughing softly as she squirms because of his beard.

"I missed you, unca Seth! Did you miss me?"

Of course. He gets that question all the time. "I missed you, baby girl." He nods, readjusting her to his hip. "Your mommy is keeping you away from us."

"Psh, nonsense," Naomi waves him off. "You were busy with your exams. I didn't want to cause you any distractions. And then afterwards, Roman spoke of you being exhausted all the time. So we had to give you space, to rest a bit."

"Well, I'm done with my exams. So we can hang out all we want, yeah Bambi?"

"Yes, yes!" Leilani's head nod is enthusiastic, her toothless grin intoxicating.

Seth kisses her forehead gently, "Does that mean you'll visit more often now?"

Leilani leans into whisper in his ear conspiratorially, "I'll make sure I don't give mommy a choice, unca Seth. She hates it when I move too much. She'll make me come to you."

Seth laughs loudly, ignoring Roman and Naomi's curious expressions. "You promise?"

"Pinky swear, unca Seth." Their pinky fingers join in a pinky swear.

"You better not be teaching that little rascal to be naughty, Sethie. I deal with it enough at home."

"And why would I do that, Naomi?" Seth laughs quietly. He hands Leilani to Roman, accepting the kiss to his lips from his boyfriend, despite the little girl's groans of protest. "I love you too," he returns Roman's 'I love you' softly.

"Look at y'all," Naomi quips playfully, "Playing happy family with my child."

Chuckles sound in the living room, Roman's reverberating, because his voice sounds like the rumble of a lion. "We better get going, Nae. If I'm going to bring your daughter in time, we need to leave now."

Naomi nods her head, grabbing her purse. "I'll see y'all at eight. Make sure she has dinner. Don't allow her too much sugar, I'm serious Roman. She gets too energetic. And lastly, have fun."

"We will mommy, I'll have fun for you too," Leilani says smugly.

"She's a little devil," Naomi rolls her eyes. After placing a kiss on Leilani's forehead, the mocha skinned woman bids both Seth and Roman goodbye before leaving.

"Grab her bag," Seth obeys Roman's instruction, grabbing the Mickey Mouse bag he bought for Leilani as they exit the house.

Outside, Roman gets Seth's door for him, in the backseat so that he's sitting with Leilani. "So where are we going?" he asks.

"To my best friend!" Leilani answers first, excitement in her tone.

Roman's eyes meet him on the rearview mirror, "To her best friend," the royal echoes, smirking.

Seth rolls his eyes, knows the royal bastard won't give him an exact answer. He focuses his attention on Leilani, deciding to catch up with her. She's enthusiastic as ever, telling him about her teacher, Ms. Spencer who's the coolest 'whoman bean' ever.

It's probably forty minutes later that they arrive at their destination. Seth looks out the window, being met with a bungalow home. It's a modern styled one, beautiful in it's caramel color. Seth can tell from observing the outside that's it's homey.

He exits the car, gripping Leilani's hand as they follow Roman to the front door. "Whose house is this, Roman?" Seth whispers, just as the door opens, revealing a petit woman with auburn hair. Seth thinks she's beautiful, with her green eyes, high cheekbones and muscular build. Her face looks kind, as does the smile on her face. Seth thinks she can't be older than thirty.

"Roman! I was beginning to think you weren't coming. You're a little late than usual. And who is this…? Hello."

"Hello," Seth echoes, returning the woman's smile. She has an accent, Irish maybe, he can't be sure.

"Becky, I got held up a bit but I'm here now. Besides, I call when I'm not coming. You know that," Roman engulfs her in a hug.

Leilani pulls her little hand away too, opting to hug Becky's leg. "Hiya, aunt Becky. Is Árón in his room?"

Becky chuckles, nodding her head. "Why don't you go say hi to him, sweetie?"

"Okay, bye unca Seth!" The little creature is gone faster than Seth can blink. He laughs with Becky, entering the woman's house. Something brushes against his leg, making Seth almost jump out of his skin until he notices it's a little pug dog.

"That's Studley Money, don't worry he doesn't bite."

Becky gains his attention. "Studley Money…that's a unique name."

"My son chose it, my wife and I got the dog for him last year."

Seth nods in understanding, looking around the house they've entered. He'd been right about this house being homey. It's littered with family photos, some of them, he notices have Roman too. But they mostly consist of Becky, a little boy—who he notices has amputated limbs—and another woman. She's taller than Becky, with platinum blonde hair and beautiful green eyes. "This your wife?" Seth asks, observing a picture with Becky and the woman closely.

"Yeah, that's my Charlotte."

"She's beautiful."

"I know," Becky laughs to herself, Roman joining in on it.

"Don't mind her," Roman kisses Seth's forehead. "Obnoxiousness runs in her whole household."

"It's true," Becky pipes in.

"Becks…this is Seth Rollins…well he's an Anoa'i now." Seth feels his chest tighten in happiness when Roman says that. The royal has a thing for wrapping an arm around his waist when introducing and claiming him. It affects Seth more than Roman will ever know. "Alofagia, meet a very good friend of mine, Becky Lynch."

When Roman lets go of him, Seth waves a little at Becky. "You've got a really nice house, it's very cozy."

"Thanks to Charlotte's décor skills. She's great at a lot of things, actually. But I try not to tell her too much. She's so obnoxious."

"Look who's talking," Roman chuckles. He turns to Seth, bringing the brunet to him. "I'll go check on the little man in his room and then we're leaving. You gonna be okay with the demon spawn?"

"He's referring to himself, by the way."

Seth shakes his head, these two are little kids. Roman, more so than usual. But he loves their friendship. "So how did you meet my Roman?" He asks after his boyfriend's disappeared. Don't judge him for claiming, it's totally Roman's fault. His behavior is rubbing off on him.

Becky lifts an eyebrow, before she nods approvingly. "I like you."

"Thank you. I think I like you too," he laughs.

"Roman and I met a while ago. About five years ago. We met through my son, Árón. I had him in 2012 and one year after his birth, he was diagnosed with Meningitis. We only noticed something was wrong when we woke up one day and his entire body was blue. Charlotte and I didn't believe it at first. We had him immunized against meningitis as a baby. But the doctors ran some tests and it was confirmed. We didn't have much money, Árón needed to undergo dozens of operations to save him. The virus had killed the tissue in his limbs. Nia introduced us to Roman, he's been helping our family ever since. He's very close to Árón, he tries to visit him as much as possible. They have their little outings on Sundays. To do a bit of hiking, a little breather. They both enjoy it."

Seth finds himself tearing up, he scrunches his nose up, tries to prevent any embarrassment to himself but it's proving hard. What Becky's just told him breaks his heart, making him picture at twelvemonth old baby being struck by a deadly virus. The tears do fall when the image flashes in his eyes. Goddammit! "I-I'm sorry," he stammers. He doesn't know what's wrong with him, but he's been experiencing a whirlwind of emotions lately. "I'm sorry for your child. And these…tears," he wipes them away, laughing awkwardly.

"It's okay," Becky pats his shoulder. "We've learned to cope. To be grateful. So many kids, adults even, lose their lives to meningitis. Árón is still here, we're lucky he's still here. Healthy, despite the excruciating pain he went through. Our son's a survivor, he's a fighter. Árón's our little star." Becky speaks proudly, but her eyes reveal her unshed tears. Seth can't even begin to imagine what a hard time they must've gone through. They're all survivors in his eyes.

"I think you're all strong. I think you're all survivors. Your son's lucky to have you and your wife as parents."

"We try," Becky shrugs. "But Roman's presence has made a huge difference too. He's Árón's godfather. I had to quit my job to take care of Árón, and Charlotte…her previous job was too demanding. Roman got her a job at RWI, it's the best job. Salary is great, her hours too. Roman's an angel in disguise, Seth."

"I know," Seth returns, warmth settling in the pit of his stomach. There are little flip flops going on in there. He's been getting a lot of those lately too. "May I use your bathroom, please?" he asks, when his bladder acts up.

"Sure, down the hallway, turn left, the third door you see."

Seth hums in acknowledgement, making a conscious effort not to run to the bathroom. He passes a noisy room, that he assumes is little Árón's room. He can hear his boyfriend growling loudly with the kids in the room. A smile automatically, making his heart melt in love. He still isn't sure how he got so lucky.

In the bathroom, Seth feels a boiling in his stomach that has him groaning and sitting on the toilet seat. It sucks being him nowadays. He's having a fucking runny tummy in someone's house. Seth bites on his lip, lets everything out and goes to wash his hands after he's taken care of his personal business.

The growls in Árón's room make him curious, he opens the door just slightly. His boyfriend appears to be teaching the two little kids in the room how to growl like a lion. He keeps throwing his head back and growling, sometimes it transitions into a howl and the kids join in on it.

"Knock knock," Seth decides to make his presence known. He's going to cry from how disgustingly sweet this whole scene in front of him is. "Mind one more?"

"No, unca Seth! You're always welcome." Leilani speaks excitedly.

"Why, that's awfully kind of you, little creature…" Seth enters the little boy's room. It's beautiful, and littered in drawings and Star Wars posters and a few from the Captain America franchise. "Hello, little one." A gentle smile tugs as his lips as he stares at the little boy has hair fiery red like Becky but Charlotte's features. The little one has his arms amputated, his legs too as he stands on prosthetic legs.

Seth thinks he understands why Becky calls him a star when the little boy smiles. His smile literally lights up the entire room. Little Árón has a light about him that's intoxicating. Seth smiles and shakes the little arm offered to him. "You're my other daddy?"

The question catches Seth off guard, he meets Roman's warm dark swirls, a natural grin pulling at his lips. "Who's your first daddy?"

"Mr. Roman. He says he's my godfather and you're his boyfriend. He says he will marry you one day. So that means you're my daddy too, right?"

"Uh, y-yes."

Seth drops to his knees and returns the hug Árón gives him. He tries not to squish the little body in his arms. "I'm the greatest in the world, Mr. Seth. Two mommies and two daddies. Wow…"

"Yes, you are." Seth grins, kissing a mop of red hair. It's funny how he already feels close to this boy, even though he's just met him. "You're the greatest in the world, little one." These nicknames keep coming to him, and this one it feels right to him.

"I want a hug too!" Leilani skids to them, Seth opens his arm, embracing her too. "I'm great too, right unca Seth?"

"Both of you are the greatest in the world," Seth chuckles.

"I think it's time we left. So that we'll return each rascal to their parent on time," Roman speaks quietly, as if not wanting to disturb the moment.

"Okay." Seth nods his head. He holds Leilani's hand, Árón's bag in the other while Roman holds little Árón's arm.

"My son's already fond of you," Becky has a smile on her face. "I go to check up on you, and I find him calling you his other daddy. Roman's found a keeper in you, Seth."

"He has, hasn't he?" Seth sticks his tongue out at Roman.

"Sure has," Becky agrees. "Roman, by seven. You know the rules."

"Of course," Roman hugs Becky. "Greet Charlotte for me, knowing her, I probably won't be seeing her when we get back."

"I'll send your regards."

Outside, Roman straps the two little kids' seatbelts, before moving to the front. Seth is sat next to him this time as Roman begins to pull out of Becky's driveway. "We're going to get a few items first. Árón wants to go to the park today."

Seth hums quietly, "Why don't you take them to Lion Heart? It may as well be a park. It's a mini Disneyland, at least that's what Naomi said."

"I think that's a great idea," Roman's smile is as beautiful as Árón's. He looks on the rearview mirror, "You guys heard what uncle Seth said? You want to visit Disney? Fake Disney?"

Seth laughs at the last part, rolling his eyes at Roman. The two kids at the back nod enthusiastically, chanting, "Yes! Yes! Yes!"

"Great," Seth accepts the kiss to his knuckles from his boyfriend. "Fake Disney it is."

Once they get to the store, each man holds a little child to him. Roman grabs the basket, scanning the isles. "We don't need to get too much," Seth tells Roman as they reach the section with junk food. "There's a cafeteria at Lion Heart. There are more healthier and filling meals there. Maybe grab a packet of chips to distract them. And juice? Maybe a sweet or two." Roman's eyes are judging him, Seth tries to seem unperturbed as possible. "What? I'm the adult, I can handle my junk food." He says defensively. It's not his fault that he's always hungry. All these damn things happening to him are because of those god forsaken pills. And in extension, Roman's fault. Because Seth wouldn't even be on the damn pill if it weren't for the royal bastard.

Snacks paid for, they make their way to Lion Heart, it's not far from where they are. Fifteen minutes later and they're parking at the VIP parking lot. The kids are shrieking in excitement and awe as they get out of the car. Greeting everyone they pass, they make their way to the locker rooms that belong to the preadolescents first, placing Leilani and Árón's bags there before going to the playgrounds.

"Play nice, Leilei," Roman reminds the little boyish girl as she runs towards the jungle gym. "I'll go help Árón on the play swings," Seth watches Roman sprint with the auburn-haired little boy to the swings for kids with disabilities. It was Roman's idea for the playground to have equipment more inclusive of children with disabilities and special needs.

Seth watches for a while, from his table, there's too much going on around him in the colorful haven. But his eyes still find Roman's imposing form on the playgrounds, he stands out easily, with how big he is. Seth thinks the man is great with kids, Roman's juggling a dozen tiny arms clinging to him like little monkeys. The bright look on his face makes Seth emotional, he wants to cry again but he won't. He opens his bag of Cheetos instead, frowning at the smell but shoving them down his mouth.

Árón comes back a little while later, the little ball of energy running to him, happily. "Oh, boy, Mr. Seth! This place _rules!_ We can come back here again, can't we?"

"Yes, we can," Seth agrees. "But it's up to uncle Roman to agree, okay?"

"Okay. Say, can I have some food? All that playing has made a hungry lion."

Seth nods his head, despite himself. He's experiencing a bout of wooziness, but breathes in deep, drinking his bottle of water before getting up carefully. He holds onto Árón's arm, guiding them to the cafeteria. "Are you allergic to anything?" he asks the little boy.

"No. But I don't like nuts," Árón makes a disgusted face.

"Chicken okay?" Seth asks, suddenly craving the meat himself. It's all he ever seems to really enjoy nowadays. At Árón's nod, Seth orders two plates of Chicken Fingers and Green Beans with Tahini sauce. One serving is for Árón, the other's for him. Leilani is still on the playgrounds and it's noon. He'll call her in an hour, if she still hasn't come to eat. Roman…he'll take care of himself.

The nice woman at the cafeteria gives him a tray with two plastic plates. Seth accepts it with a small, "Thank you." He gets two Caprisuns. "There you go, little one." Seth gives Árón a plate, handing him his juice too. "Go and wash away the germs from all that playing first."

Árón's green eyes widen, "Sheesh! Germs! I almost forgot, I'll go do it now."

Seth laughs at the utter look of horror on Árón's face. He must be a huge germophobe then. The little boy takes about five minutes away from their table to wash away the germs. The other kids and parents distract Seth a little though, as they catch up on how things are since he last saw them. He'd been busy with exams so he hasn't been at Lion Heart as much as he'd like too. "Good boy," he praises when Árón comes back.

They eat in silence for a while, the only sounds coming from both their enthusiastic eating, only Seth doesn't slurp his juice like the little fellow in front of him is doing. It's adorable as it is annoying. "Say, Mr. Seth, how come I've never met you before? You're real cool."

"Don't know," Seth laughs softly. "But we've met now, haven't we?"

Árón nods his head. "Will you come with uncle Roman more? To see me?"

"If uncle Roman lets me, I will."

"Okay," Árón nods his head. "You want to know what I'll be when I grow up?"

"Yes."

"A pilot," Árón's sparkling greens light up. "Both my mommies tell me that I can be anything I want. I want to be bad like Bucky, but not against the good guys though. Just against the villains, you know. I'm also going to be a scientist and build myself wings like Falcon's. Use them to fly around the world to fight the bad guys. Mommy says I'm a living, breathing little boy. My, uh, my—um, disbili—ty? That word, mommy says it doesn't define me. I'm Árón before I'm eh, dis-uh. You know that word, uncle Seth?"

Seth is caught between laughing at Árón's stammering over the word disabled and crushing him into a hug over how intelligent he is. Such positivity, so young. The brunet lifts a little, kissing the little boy's unruly red hair before ruffling it. "Very good, Árón. You can be anything you want to be. I'm so proud of you."

"Really?" Árón asks, eyes widened in disbelief.

"Yes, little one. I'm very proud of you. Uncle Roman is too. And your mommies, they must be very proud to call you their son."

"Oh, thanks so much, uncle Seth. I love you."

One minute the little boy was sat across from him, and the next Seth finds a mop of red hair flashing in his line of sight before he's crushed into a hug. "I love you too." He returns, smiling.

Roman and Leilani come to join them just before one. Seth orders Roman to get their food, advising him to get Leilani the same meal Árón had. He leans into Roman, resting his head on the royal's shoulder as he listens in on the flowing conversation at their table. Exhaustion has him in it's claws, and Seth feels something weird going on in his stomach. He lays a flat palm on it, trying to ease the flip flop feeling going on in there.

"You okay?"

Seth sighs and nods his head reluctantly at Roman's question. He feels the royal kiss his hair and wrap an arm around him. Despite the chatter going on around him, Seth still finds himself drawing closer and closer to sleep. Darkness takes over when his eyes flutter shut.

The next time Seth opens his eyes, he's leaning against something firm. He groans, still disorientated, finding that he's resting against the window. "Unca Seth, you're awake!" Seth looks at the backseat, finding two sets of big eyes looking at him.

"I am," he croaks. Turning his attention to a driving Roman, he asks, "What time is it? Ugh, and I was drooling." His eyebrows knit in distaste.

Roman chuckles, stopping at a red light. He uses the end of his sweater to wipe Seth's tiny drool away. "Five. We're headed to Gianni's, for a pizza and then the rascals are going to their mothers."

"Wait…" Seth's voice lifts an octave, "I slept for _three_ hours?"

"You were tired. It was bound to happen, what with you waking up every other hour at night for… _car servicing._ "

Seth rolls his eyes, Roman sometimes calls sex car servicing. And yes, he wakes Roman up for sex at night. So what? It's the royal's responsibility to take care of him anyway. "Whatever. Can you just, I don't know? Drive faster? I need to use the bathroom."

The first thing Seth does when they arrive at the restaurant is rush to the bathroom. He sighs in relief after he's taken care of his personal business. Washing his hands thoroughly, he then dries them and goes to join his little squad at their table.

"Hey. I didn't want know what to get you. The waiter's gonna come back shortly with our drinks though." Roman gets up, pulling Seth's chair out and helping him in.

"Thank you," Seth smiles. "I'll just grab a simple pepperoni pizza and a…Dr. Pepper," he'd grab a beer but it's been making him sick a lot lately. Alcohol in general, actually. The last time he tasted alcohol was nearly a month ago.

Dinner is lighthearted, Seth's being flooded by good feelings and happiness. He thinks he gets it now, when parents say their children turn their bad days into bright ones. If he's not laughing at Árón and Leilani's quarreling, he's laughing at how they're struggling to pronounce some of their words. He observes his boyfriend too, as he interacts with the little kids. Roman actively listens and answers their questions. Seth swears he sees a longing in his eyes, it tugs at his heartstrings.

After dropping Árón first at Becky's, they drive Leilani to her mother. She's fast asleep when they get there so Seth helps carry her while Roman grabs her bag, guiding them to the Uso's front door. "Why am I not surprised?" Naomi smiles when she opens the door.

Roman chuckles sheepishly, "We always have a great time. With all the running your daughter does, she's bound to tire out eventually."

Naomi accepts Leilani into her arms, "Do you guys want to come in for coffee?"

Seth shakes his head when Roman looks at him, "I just want to go to bed, actually." The mischievous glint in Roman's eyes is the only warning he gets before he's draped over Roman's shoulder. "What—Roman let me go!"

"I gotta take him to bed, Naomi!" Roman chuckles like an idiot, rushing away from Naomi's house.

"You idiotic brute," Seth scowls lightly, "I didn't even get to say goodbye."

"You'll send her a message. I gotta get you to bed, alofagia." Roman's tone is too suggestive, he has a smirk on his face.

"I didn't mean it like that, you asshole!" Seth folds his arms across his chest. But then…there's a stirring in his pants. He hasn't had sex since this morning, and he can feel his hole twitching. _Shit._ Seth bites on his lip, face turned away from Roman. The obscene images playing in his mind aren't helping his case. And neither is being trapped inside this SUV with Roman. Seth wants the man to take him until he's begging him to stop…like he did this morning.

When they get home, he propels into action. Jumping onto Roman's lap and struggling to pull his sweatpants down. There isn't much space in the car but he doesn't care. Seth need his man, and he needs him now. Roman's already hard, dick red and oozing with precum. "Mmm, daddy." He whispers sexily into Roman's ear, biting on the soft skin.

"Missed you, missed your dick." He moans, sinking down on Roman's cock. Breathless groans and grunts fill the car. Seth holds onto Roman, feeling possessed by the man bludgeoned into him over and over again. Seth gives as good as he gets, gyrating and bouncing on his man's cock wildly. He cries out from being filled so perfectly. "I feel so fucking full with you, daddy. So f-full."

Roman's chuckle is breathless, the man lifts his t-shirt, latching onto his nipple, drawing tiny sobs out of Seth. The pink nubs are still so sensitive, and what Roman's doing feels so good and too sore at the same time. He brings Roman's face to his, passionately kissing his hot Adonis. Roman is taking him savagely, fucking him into blissful oblivion. "I love—you," Seth cracks out, mind blurry as he finally comes.

"I love you too, alofagia." Roman's words contradict how hard he's fucking Seth. It's demanding, rough and pure ferocious. Seth folds his arms around Roman's neck, whimpering. He gasps loudly when Roman finishes, the royal gripping his hips bruisingly. "All mine," Roman whispers breathlessly.

"All yours," Seth confirms, stroking Roman's beard. He allows himself to be vulnerable with his boyfriend. Allows them to have their moment. To be lost in each other completely. To be lost in love.

* * *

 

Seth is angry, very angry at Roman. Without good reason, but he can't help it. The royal is leaving. For one whole week, Seth will have to sleep in their bed alone. He'll have no one to talk to at night. No one to have sex with. No one to pester him childishly. No one to bring him food in the middle of the night. No one to hold him at night. No strong body to cocoon him. The list goes on and on and on, that Seth fears the tears will spill over if he continues thinking about it.

"Can't they get anyone else to go?" he croaks, glaring at his boyfriend.

Roman who's removing his work clothes—the royal bastard came home late too—turns to face him, shaking his head no. "I'm replacing my father because he has to attend to Lanuolan matters that need _him._ I can't just not go to Sierra Leone because I want to stay here with you, Seth. Think about those kids, think about their education. They need me too, don't you think?"

Roman's going to visit a country in West Africa. His family has been working towards opening a school there for a while now, and they're finally achieving their dream. Roman's presence is needed as he'll be visiting a few orphanages, and adult homes, to learn about the people's problems. He'll be meeting with a few of the country's delegates too.

"But I need you too," Seth bites on his lip, leaving the bed to go stand in front of Roman. Caressing Roman's beard brings him comfort, he breathes his man, preventing the tears from falling. "But—you're right. I'll still be here, waiting for you."

"Thank you, baby." Roman kisses his forehead, making Seth release a quiet sigh. "I'll be back before you know it."

Seth shakes his head, every moment that Roman's gone, he'll feel. It's going to be a long week to him. And the man's leaving in the morning. He's not even going to be there tomorrow, when Seth goes for his doctor's appointment. "I'm mad at your dad."

"Should've told him that when you spoke to him earlier."

Seth gives Roman an incredulous expression. As if he'd actually have enough courage to tell the King of Lanuola that he wants his boyfriend with him. The man looks scary, like Nia, but he's kind—fatherly. "Did Masina pack everything? Your clothes, are they sorted properly? And your chargers and cables, did she store them in that glass case I bought you? What about your toiletries?"

Moving away from Roman, Seth eyes the black suitcase standing near the en-suite closet. Roman's arms fold at his waist, bringing him to a strong body. "Relax, baby. Masina's done this countless times. Everything's sorted. Why don't we lie down in bed? I want to spend this little time with you in bed, no talking. Just us, being consumed by each other."

"Okay," Seth concurs. The bedside lamp is switched off. Lying on Roman's shoulder, Seth finds the royal's beardy cheek. "I wish you didn't have to go."

"You need to get used to it, Seth. One day, you'll be doing the travelling with me. As the consort, you're going to have a lot of responsibilities. It isn't just about us, alofagia. It's about the people, we're their servants. We live to serve them, to make positive change in their lives. The royal title means nothing if you don't have the people's best interests in your heart. That's what this whole thing's about."

"I understand," Seth says quietly. "I don't mind being a servant. If it means I'm changing someone's life, and making a difference somehow, then I don't mind."

"Good."

Seth's hand trails on Roman's chest, making little crawly fingers. "Wake me up tomorrow. I'll see you off."

"I don't think I'll have the willpower. You're always exhausted lately. This is your resting time."

"And you don't want a sweet reminder before you leave? No…sex?"

Roman's laugh echoes in the bedroom. "We'll see, but there's something wrong with you. Your libido increase is bordering on abnormal."

Seth's expression takes on one of amusement. "You're to blame, daddy. You just keep me coming back for more." He shifts on the bed, straddling Roman's waist. "And if you're not going to wake me. I guess I better take what's mine now." Seth grinds against a naked Roman, leaning down to kiss him lewdly.

Roman's growl sounds in the room when Seth sinks down on his cock. The brunet holds nothing back, he fucks himself erotically on Roman's dick. The royal helps set the pace, gripping his hips in a bruising hold. Seth is screaming loudly, moaning, grinding and gyrating on his man's cock. He rakes his blunt nails down Roman's chest, in pure bliss as the royal grabs a fistful of his hair painfully. "You feel amazing inside me, daddy!" Seth moans, moving his body sensually.

He hears Roman's grunts, yelping when in the blink of an eye, he ends up on his back, his body folded in half. Roman slams into him _hard,_ relentlessly and intrudingly. Seth screams like a banshee, his nails raking down Roman's back. Everything feels charged, with rapturous lust, the hunger preys on them. It's pure feral fucking, but Seth accepts it. All of it, gladly.

His sore hole grips Roman's cock, driving the royal insane. The hot man on top of him is a brute, Seth sees it in his eyes. There's a fire in them. He arches into Roman, offering himself, and his body to the man who owns his heart. A tingling feeling slithers deliciously down his back, making Seth scream out in pleasure. He comes with a hoarse, "Row-man!" shooting his load in between their torsos.

Roman fucks him through the mattress, pushing his head deeper into the bed with each uncivilized pounding. Seth shudders as bursts of electricity pulse through him, like that thick dick. It's pulsing inside him, _stretching_ and _filling_ him. Roman's inside him so deep, Seth feels a pleasurable pain in his body. He's being pressed deeper into the mattress, his body at Roman's mercy.

Seth can't even manage a scream when Roman grips his hair so hard he swears he's going to lose a bit of hair. He breathes harshly, shaky hands clutching Roman's shoulders and eyes squeezed shut when a hand tightens around his throat, briefly, before letting go. Roman claims him on the inside, filling him up with his essence.

Too exhausted to move, Seth rests his head on Roman's shoulder. An arm wraps around his waist, soft lips touching his forehead. "Have a good night."

"You too," Seth returns softly, eyes sliding shut.

***

Seth wakes up alone—his chest heaving and stomach churning nastily. He falls to the floor on his way to the bathroom, crying out in pain. He can't feel his legs, his back _hurts._ Taking a deep breath, Seth crawls the rest of his way there. He grips the edge of the toilet in a white-knuckled grip, gagging and spilling last night's supper into the toilet. _Stop,_ he chants mentally while rubbing his stomach in soothing circles.

It does stop, eventually. Seth rests his head on the cold ceramic after he's flushed the toilet. He doesn't know what the fuck is wrong with him but he's glad he's seeing the doctor today. This craziness has been going on in his body for over a month now and he's finally fed up.

The doctor's appointment is at three, because it was the only time that Roman would've been available to go to the hospital with him. Seth decides to take a shower, he's assuming it's around eleven with the way the sun had blinded him when he woke up. Cold water pelts his skin, making Seth release a contented sigh. He uses Roman's body wash to smell like his man. He's embarrassed to say silent tears rain down his cheeks as he does that.

After showering and ~~crying for Roman~~ , Seth exits the bathroom. He lotions his body, sprays Roman's cologne and strides to the walk-in closet for clothes. Getting Roman's Nike sweater and shorts, the brunet gets dressed and ties his hair into an untidy bun. He laughs at how ridiculous he looks when giving himself a once over at the mirror. The sweater is too big on him, as are Roman's baggy shorts but it's better than wearing his clothes. They hug him much more tighter than usual.

Grabbing his phone, he reads his messages on his way to the kitchen. There's still enough time for breakfast—it's 10:30—and he's so hungry, he could eat for five people.

_I couldn't bring myself to wake you, you looked so peaceful. And I'm sorry that I didn't tell you goodbye but I'll call you. I love you, alofagia. I want you to behave while I'm gone. Also, I want to know Dr. Baldwin's feedback. I'll call as soon as I can. Did I tell you I love you? Yes? I'll say it again. I love you._

Seth smiles at the message, he's not only in love with a cosmic creature, but he fell for a corny one too. "Hey, Masina." He greets in the kitchen, limping towards the middle-aged woman. He hugs her, peeking over her shoulder to see what she's making. "What's for breakfast?"

"What are you craving for?" Masina's glancing at him up and down, her dark swirls sparkling.

"Donuts, and that, um, Dagwood sandwich. The braai?" Seth looks to Masina for confirmation, continuing when she nods her head. "Okay, braai bread, please add plenty of meat and cheese. Lots and lots of cheese. Do we have any of those cheesy chicken dippers left over?"

"Sure do. Why don't you sit down? I'll make breakfast for you."

Seth complies, sitting on a stool near the kitchen island. Masina places a plate filled with cheesy chicken strips in front of him. There's a bowl next to the plate, it has a White & Green Bean Salad. Seth accepts the bowl too, that salad is one of the few salads he finds delicious. Masina says it goes really well with fish but it's just as delicious with chicken too.

"So, how did you sleep?"

Seth covers his mouth before answering, "I slept okay."

"Just okay?"

"Mhm," he gives Masina a quiet hum this time. "I miss my boyfriend."

"He'll be back before you know it," Masina says, and Seth almost rolls his eyes. It doesn't feel like it to him. He misses Roman so much. Misses his scent and everything that his him. He blinks his tears away at Masina's, "Enjoy, manamea." she kisses his hair, placing another plate with the Braai Bread he requested. Dagwood Braai Bread is a Lanuolan dish featuring grilled bread filled with gherkins, steak, eggs, red onions and other delicious ingredients. Seth loves it, and with a filling of cheddar cheese, the Braai Bread tastes out of this world. "So what are your plans for the day?"

"The hospital," he croaks. "I haven't been feeling well."

Masina gets a glint in her eyes he can't quite decipher. "Really? That's great!" she sounds too happy.

"Really, Masina? I'm sick and you're _happy_?!" Seth looks away, mortified, he snaps too easily lately.

"I'm happy," Masina is as gentle as ever, her dark eyes motherly. "And you'll find out why Seth. Tell me what the doctor said when you return." She walks out of the kitchen without another word.

Seth eats absentmindedly, thoughts focused on what Masina meant. But he reaches a blank, and it frustrates him. He almost wants to go to her, demand what she means, like a petulant child. But he doesn't, it feels like too much effort to him and he's tired.

Around one, he calls Dean and Xavier, to check up on them. It's a video call and Seth's eyes widen in worry when he looks at Xavier. His young friend looked as exhausted as he feels. Seth thinks he looked a bit thinner than the last time they spoke too. But Xavier told him not to worry, he'd been stressed about a dance final, apparently.

Seth finds himself rushing to the bathroom after his talk with his friends. He's just finished taking care of his personal business, and washing his hands when he gets a pain in his lower abdomen. Seth doubles over in pain, it's a tightening sensation coupled with cramps so painful, they take his breath away.

On his knees, Seth bites back a cry and massages where the pain is centralized. Breaking out in sweat, chest heaving slightly, Seth feels the tears burn his eyes. The cramps attack his abdomen for what feels like forever before the sensation eases, stopping completely.

Seth slowly lifts on his shaky legs, leaving the bathroom. His heart thuds loudly in his chest, hands trembling. Fear grips him. He doesn't know what the hell is wrong. But he's not going to wait until the clock hits three to find out. Feet still quivering, he makes it to the kitchen eventually. He grabs the first set of keys on the key rack and exits the house.

In the car, Seth remembers he left his phone inside the bedroom but can't bring himself to care. He begins the drive to Nia's hospital. The drive is traffic free, much to his relief. He parks the car at the parking lot, leaving the automobile shakily.

"Seth? What are you doing here?"

Nia's gentle but curious tone has Seth looking over his shoulder. Roman's cousin has a smile etched on her face as she waits for a response. "I-I, um, here to see Dr. Baldwin. An appointment."

The curvy doctor nods in understanding, "Oh, I thought he was free at the moment."

"It's at three," Seth explains nervously. "But I don't think I can wait, Nia…" he collapses on one of the chairs at the waiting area. Seth feels his body tremble, "I-I don't know what's wrong with—me. I had some cramps at home for ten full minutes. I've been vomiting, I'm exhausted. I'm constipated, I'm having dizzy spells. It didn't say that pill comes with all these side effects. I don't understand…"

Seth can't explain the look Nia gives him, but he thinks it's examining—curious. "You really don't know what could be wrong with you?"

"N-No," Seth stammers.

Nia gets up suddenly, "Come with me. I'll have you see Dr. Baldwin." Seth abides immediately, feet crisscrossing as he trails behind Nia. "Why don't you get in here? I'll call Dr. Baldwin, okay?" A head nod is what Seth gives Nia, his voice refuses to cooperate, it's stuck in his throat out of fear.

An hour later and Seth finds himself on Dr. Baldwin's table, with those pregnancy screen thingies he normally sees on TV. A nurse had come to collect his blood and urine samples for 'general testing'. Nervousness clutches him, and Seth struggles not to bounce his left leg too much. He struggles against biting on his lip. The churning in his stomach has returned, twisting violently as he stares at Dr. Baldwin jots something down and look through a number of papers. Nia left after she got the doctor but the look in her eye…

It told Seth she knew something he didn't.

"Mr. Rollins," the man with silver grey hair and a sturdy build glances at him through his black rim glasses.

The look has Seth jumping a bit, nerves getting the better of him. He bites on his lip, bringing knees to his chest. "Y-Yes?" he's too quiet, too scared.

"Right, I have your results with me." Dr. Baldwin pulls a paper out of his lab coat. "According to both the samples we took from you today, you're about 7 weeks pregnant. Congratulations!" Dr. Baldwin's excited tone contradicts his set face.

Seth blinks once, twice. Takes a deep breath, lets it out slowly. Maybe he hasn't heard the doctor right. "What?" it's barely a whisper.

The doctor looks at him with that set face of his, "You're pregnant."

 _No._ Seth buries his face in between his legs. The tears threaten to spill over. "I-I can't be pregnant. W-We used protection. I-I am on the pill. It's not possible!" his voice lifts. No, he can't be pregnant. Seth refuses. _It's too soon._

"You're very much pregnant, Mr. Rollins. The nurses ran the tests more than once."

"N-No," Seth cries out. He feels too suffocated all of a sudden, he grasps his chest, trying to keep the panic at bay. His heart's beating too fast, too loudly. "I'm n-not. It can't be!"

A hand settles on his shoulder, "Our tests are very conclusive, Seth. Now you may have been on the pill but you need to take it timeously. That means at the same time everyday. It also means that you don't skip or forget to take it. They're not going to be as effective if you're not thorough in how you take them. And if you were…well, these things happen sometimes."

Seth nods his head absently, he remembers taking the pills the way he was supposed to. Even before he got on the pill, Roman used condoms. _Except that day._ The tears fall down his cheeks, he rests his head on his knees. Two days, just two days of sleeping with the royal bastard was all it took for him to get knocked up.

It was in Tampa, Seth remembers Roman fucking him against the walls of his bedroom. He remembers not knowing whether or not Roman had used a condom. He vaguely remembers Roman coming deep inside him but he'd been too disorientated to focus on anything. "S-Seven weeks?" he asks tremulously, seeking reconfirmation.

"Yes, roughly seven weeks. Your baby should approximately be 0.44 – 0.52 inches in length now." Dr. Baldwin speaks with a smile in his voice. "We can do your first ultrasound, if it's okay with you? Or do you want Mr. Reigns present for it?"

Seth shakes his head no furiously. He tries no to think about _him._ "You can do the ultrasound," he whispers. He lays back on the table, following Dr. Baldwin's instruction and lifting his shirt. He squeezes his eyes shut, hoping this is a dream. A bad dream that he'll wake up from soon.

But Seth can't get everything he wants, because his ears hear Dr. Baldwin moving around as goes to the other side of the table, where the ultrasound machine is. "I'm going to squirt some gel onto your belly and then look around before I start talking and taking some measurements." Seth nods his head, not daring to open his eyes. His heart's on the verge of exploding, his hands quivering.

He winces, releasing a shallow breath when the cold gel connects with his skin. "Alright, I'm going to take measurements in a little while of the sac— _oh…_ that's plural actually. So there are two sacs, one of them smaller than the other but I see heartbeats in both of them. _Twins,_ Mr. Rollins."

Seth's eyes snap open, widening in fear. He's not sure if it's the sound of his heartbeat that's thumping loudly—or maybe it's coming from the ultrasound machine. The pictures on the screen mesmerize him even though he has no idea what's going. He feels his heart _swell,_ feels tears brimming in his eyes. He's going to have a _baby. Two babies. Twins._ When the tears fall, Seth allows them to. The fear he felt not too long ago is still there, but a different, much more powerful feeling takes over— _love._ He suddenly wishes Roman were here to experience this. To see the beauty they made— _together._

 _My babies,_ the words bounce off the walls in his head. The swelling increases, so many emotions grip him. _Fear_ , _happiness_ , _love_ —it's all an emotional rollercoaster that Seth embraces wholeheartedly. Dr. Baldwin's soothing voice draws him back to earth. "Which one of you has multiples in their family?"

Seth tries to blink his tears away, "Uh, Ro…Row-man has twin cousins."

Dr. Baldwin nods, averting his eyes to the screen. Seth notices his eyes widen, and then look back at him. It happens for quite some time that Seth's tears fall harder. _Please no,_ he begs silently fearing the worst. The doctor's eyebrows furrow in what looks like confusion but awe too. Seth has no idea what's going on. Worry grips him in it's clutches. "W-What's w-wrong? Is something wrong with my babies?"

The smile suddenly brightening Dr. Baldwin's face confuses Seth. Maybe something isn't wrong? Surely this doctor wouldn't be cruel enough to laugh if any were wrong with his babies. Seth looks at him through blurry eyes—begging the man to say something. "It's just…" Dr. Baldwin's words die out.

"What is it?!" Seth yells, uncaring about the harshness he hears in his voice. The tears are still falling, his chest clenching painfully with worry.

"Look at the monitor, Mr. Rollins. I am about to show you something spectacular." Dr. Baldwin says in awe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to watch as much pregnancy and ultrasound scan videos as I could because I know nothing about pregnancy and blah blah blah. Excuse any inconsistencies. Thoughts?


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya. You guys, I wanted to get this chapter out earlier but I got flu in bloody spring. It was terrible, I thought I was going to die, LOL. Buuuut, *cue Cardi B's voice* my twin, she uh came to me with this PICTURE. She hardly pays attention to wrestling, y'all. Like she knows who the wrestlers are but she couldn't bothered. So anyway, I'm sick in bed and she comes and she's like, 'Hey, did you notice that Seth's hair. He cut it like Roman's.' And I sit up in bed and I'm like, 'Don't play with my feelings like that!' So she smirks, takes out her phone and shows me the proof. I DIED! Lol, and I resurrected feeling so much better so I wrote this chapter.  
> So thank you Seth, for that BEAUTIFUL hair. He's so perfect, I can't.

"Spontaneous conception of quadruplets is rare, Mr. Rollins. Estimates show the odds at 1 in _721 809_ pregnancies for male carriers. And…what I'm seeing here," Dr. Baldwin turns to face Seth, only adding to the brunet's anxiety. Seth bites on his lip, feeling a bead of sweat forming on his forehead awaiting for the OB/GYN to continue. "There are two other sacs, Mr. Rollins. They are right...here's one and there's the other one. With heartbeats too."

Seth blinks his eyes rapidly, mind processing the information from the Dr. Baldwin. Two plus two makes four. He has _four sacs_ inside him. _Four heartbeats. Four lives._ All growing inside him. "Oh my g-god," he stutters, tone tremulous as the tears fall harder. Like heavy rain on a sunny day.

His right hand goes to cover his mouth, eyes slowly widening with the tears still falling heavily. But there's an excessiveness in how he's feeling. Everything is in abundant. This _love_ that he's feeling, Seth feels it spreading—to each and every tiny blob he's seeing on the screen. A fearful smile tugs at his lips with each second spent staring at the screen.

Seth wishes Roman were here, to experience this _wonder_ with him. But in the back of his mind, he also wants to kill the royal because _four fucking babies._ How in the hell will his body handle all of that? He tries not to think about the weight gain and how awful he's been feeling because of these little lives growing inside him.

 _But it's all worth it._ The thought tumbles confidently in his mind. All of it is worth it. Everything that he is still going to go through will be worth it. Because these are _his_ babies growing inside him. And in that instant, Seth knows. His babies, they are the most important people in his life. So _important_ and so _beautiful…_ so _precious_. _My babies,_ the words play in his mind, in his heart.

So many emotions crash through him, like tidal waves. Seth has no way of stopping them. He has no way of stopping the love increasing rapidly for the little souls inside him. And Seth doesn't want the feelings to end. He relishes in them. He cherishes them. They are something _sacred_. Something _splendid._ Like these little beings inside him.

"Alright, so I'm going to show you from left to right," again Dr. Baldwin's voice draws him back to earth. Seth follows the doctor's line of sight, back to the screen. "So it's 1, 2, 3 and there's number 4." Dr. Baldwin points to the screen, one weird blob (to Seth) at a time. "So there's heartbeat here, the first one. And another heartbeat here, for the second one. There's heartbeat there, the third one. And final heartbeat there makes four."

"I'll start taking some measurements. I'm going to measure all of the babies. Measure the sacs, measure the heartbeats. However, I want you to come back for another scan next week. I'll need to confirm that they count together. Or if they're less than what they are today then I'll need to find out what happened. Did one reduce or was it absorbed? It's always a possibility, with multiples, that one of them will not develop into a baby. But by convention, the cervix is over here so baby A is the one closest to the cervix—"

Seth tries to listen to every word coming from the greying doctor but his mind comes to a halt when the man talks about any of his babies 'absorbing' or losing any of them. The wrenching pain in his chest returns, he rubs on his chest, tries to remain as positive as possible. It won't help him any, stressing about the things he has no control over at the moment. _Please remain as you are. I want you—all four of you._ The brunet pleads in his head, quietly to his babies. "So baby A is measuring seven weeks and five days—" Seth keeps his eyes locked on the screen, too afraid to miss a thing.

And then he hears it.

His baby's heartbeat, thumping loudly and so perfectly, Seth wouldn't mind hearing the sound for the rest of his life. "That is baby A's heartrate." Dr. Baldwin says with a smile on his face. "140 beats per minute which is perfect. Okay so we're going to move on to baby B."

The process is the same for the rest of his babies, and Seth keeps trying to listen to every word the doctor is saying. But his children steal the spotlight. Their heartbeats do, Seth doesn't think he's ever heard a sound more beautiful. "It looks like you and Mr. Reigns are having yourselves one pair of identical twins in the mix. Baby C and D share one placenta but have two sacs, thankfully."

Seth nods his head timidly, this information is still too much to take. He's still stuck on the fact that there's four little babies inside of him. He's overwhelmed with emotion when Dr. Baldwin finally hands him a tissue to wipe the gel off his stomach.

"The sonogram pictures," Dr. Baldwin hands him a stack of the printed copies.

"T-Thank you, doctor." Seth whispers shakily. He draws his sweater back down, remaining on the examination table for a while. He doesn't realize it, but his right hand slowly lifts to rest on his abdomen.

"I'm going to be honest with you, Seth. Carrying multiples is considered a high risk pregnancy, with good reason if you consider risks and complications on both the carrier and the babies. These include miscarrying one or more of the babies, genetic abnormalities. And with the twins sharing the same placenta, that alone has it's own possible complications with twin to twin transfusion—" the good feelings dwindle with every word Dr. Baldwin utters, Seth's trying to remain positive but the truth is fear grips him in it's clutches. It has him trembling, black emotions causing a tightening in his chest.

"But _I'm_ here for you, our entire department will be here for you. We're a team of specialists. I'll see you every second week. To check in with you, monitor how the babies are growing. If there are any complications and how to deal with them. I'll book you an appointment for this Friday, to monitor the eighth week development. I'm always available on my cell too, after hours. I'll give you two other numbers, belonging to my colleagues—also specialists in this field. And there'll always be a nurse practitioner available 24/7 for any questions or concerns."

"This isn't just _your_ pregnancy…it's ours too. Which means we're with you, every step of the way. We're going to support you, advise you and do whatever it takes to ensure that you have the safest and healthiest pregnancy possible."

"We're going to need you to meet us halfway however—" the door opens, cutting Dr. Baldwin's speech off. The same nurse who'd taken his blood and urine samples enters the room, carrying a stack of papers and what appears to be a small file. "Right, as I was saying—" Dr. Baldwin's continues after the nurse leaves. "I have a…file here with me. Recommendations for one carrying multiples, in this case you."

"It contains the prenatal exercises that you can do—that are fine for your body. We have meal recommendations on foods to eat too. Make sure you don't starve yourself…you're eating for five now and weight gain is imperative. There is a lot of useful information on that file, Seth. Read through it, know your body and if there's anything you need clarification on, we're here. Always. "

"Thank you, Doctor."

Dr. Baldwin's face remains set in a smile, he guides Seth to the door. "Alright, I'll see you here on Friday. Congratulations, once more! I'm sure Mr. Reigns will be ecstatic too."

Outside the OB/GYN office, Seth leans against the wall. Maybe it hadn't sunk in properly but it hits him fully. _He's going to be a parent…to four little humans._ Seth lets out a shaky breath. He wouldn't mind having someone with him now, an anchor to support him. But the good feelings are still there. The love burning more intensely than anything he's ever felt. He's in love already. These little ones inside him didn't give him a chance. They'd won from the start.

His lips are already stretching, eyes watering again. Seth wipes the tears, deciding that it wouldn't be a bad idea to go home for a celebration. In the hallway, he meets Nia, her eyes are twinkling. "Everything went okay?"

"Yes," Seth nods timidly, clutching the envelope carrying his babies' pictures tighter.

"Well I'm glad. So it wasn't anything serious?"

Seth knows what Nia's trying to get at. "I'm pregnant," he blurts out, not beating around the bush.

"Oh, Seth." Warmth engulfs him when Nia brings him in for a hug. Seth accepts it, releasing a drawn out sigh. It's his first embrace since he learned about the pregnancy and it feels so good. "Congratulations. Roman's going to go insane when he finds out!"

Seth stiffens in Nia's arms, he pulls away slowly. "What—do you mean?" he winces, tears threatening to fall.

Nia instantly shakes her head no furiously. "Oh no, baby. I don't mean it like that! Maybe the word means different things to us. I just mean he's going to go insane with joy. He never talks about kids, but the longing is always there on his face. You should've seen him when Leilani was born."

"You think he'll be happy?" Seth seeks confirmation, he'd actively been avoiding thinking about Roman's reaction. But it's something that can't be evaded, it's only a matter of time before he starts showing. Some of his clothes already give him a hard time. Getting some of his jeans to go past his thighs is like going to war.

"Happy? Roman's going to be over the moon, Seth!"

Seth decides to trust Nia, she's Roman's cousin after all. She knows him well, maybe better than he does. "Here are the…" he hands Nia the brown envelope, deciding it would be better if she saw for herself.

The curvy doctor's eyes go big as saucers, her mouth in an 'o' shape. Seth would find her expression funny if he weren't still shocked himself. "Seth, baby. This is amazing, this is so beautiful. Our family is going to fawn over you. Everyone. Even the King…especially the Queen and her son." Nia laughs loudly.

"Oh god," Seth fakes irritation. "You're not going to tell them, are you? It's just…I want to tell Roman first. And then maybe, we'll tell the rest of the family together."

Nia nods her head, "Of course. It's not my place to say anything."

"Thank you, Nia." Seth gives her one last hug. "I better get home. My babies are craving ice-cream."

"Not too much! Healthy eating, baby!" Nia calls out a distance away from him. "You're eating for five now."

"Got it!" Seth shouts back.

In the parking area, he finds his car, getting the red Maserati to open is a mission—his hands are trembling so hard, his heart thumping so loudly that Seth has to take a minute. He inhales deeply, holds his breath and exhales slowly. "It's okay," Seth whispers the words to himself. "You're pregnant and that's…it's okay. Roman will be happy, Nia said he will. You're all going to be a family."

Seth thinks it's a miracle that he finds himself home, what with his mind being all over the place. He had mindlessly driven to a grocery store, buying lemonade, saltine crackers, Cheetos and three pregnancy tests. He knows what Dr. Baldwin has said, knows he won't get a different result but he couldn't resist buying the tests. He feels he needs to confirm it himself too.

Bypassing the kitchen, Seth rushes up the stairs, his envelope held tightly to his chest. Hiding the envelope beneath Roman's pillow, Seth strides into the bathroom with the small plastic bag carrying the pregnancy tests boxes.

Untying the knot around the shorts he has on, the baggy grey item immediately falls to the ground. He unwraps each of the boxes, following the instructions as he'd read on each of the boxes. Finished, Seth places each test on the granite counter and settles on the toilet seat, bottom lip bitten hard and left foot bouncing up and down impatiently.

Immediately his watch signals time for him to check the results, Seth snatches the pregnancy tests. They all read the same thing : pregnant, as if he'd been expecting a different result. Seth folds the tests in toilet paper before disposing of them in the bin. "It's okay," he doesn't know how many times he's lectured himself with those words today.

Seth leaves the bathroom eventually, going to grab his phone. It's 05:36 p.m.—only a few minutes until supper. The number of missed calls on his phone cause Seth's eyes to widen. They're all from the same person, who has apparently been trying to get in contact with him since four in the afternoon. "Your…Papa, he's so overbearing. Twenty missed calls…who does that?" Seth chokes on his chuckle, wiping the falling tears away.

"I hope he'll be as obsessed with the four of you too. I'm sure he will, I think he'll—love all of you very much," Seth whispers, rubbing on his stomach. His feet carry him to the full body mirror. Seth examines himself, tilting his head to the side in wonder. Slowly he lifts Roman's sweater, meeting his bare abdomen on the mirror. Usually he isn't the type to obsess too much over his body, he puts in the hours at the indoor gym, and stays as fit as possible. But now he can see that his line of abs are slowly transitioning. He isn't fat but he's not fit either. Not with the way his stomach looks and definitely not with the way some of his clothes fit him.

Dr. Baldwin had said the babies would continuously grow rapidly so maybe it won't be such a bad idea to go shopping for one or two new items.

"Knock knock," Masina is standing at the doorway when Seth averts his gaze to her.

Allowing his sweater to drop back down, Seth grins sheepishly at the woman whose warm brown eyes sparkle knowingly. "Masina," he stands in place, tugging at the hem of his sweater.

"Supper's ready, manamea. You hungry?"

"We're very hungry."

There's a brief pause and then, "Did you say we?"

"Yes," he answers softly. Masina already knows he is pregnant anyway, her recent behavior testifies to that. That and the fact that she doesn't look surprised or perturbed at all by the news. "But you already knew that," Seth adds, happiness written all over his face.

"I did," Masina confirms. "A mother always knows."

Seth closes the distance between Masina and himself, crushing her into a hug. "You're like the mother I never had, Masina. I-I really hope we can make this work…Roman and I. I don't even know anything about being someone's parent. I don't know how to be someone's mother. I don't know what it means to be a parent. At least with Roman, he saw it from his parents. I, on the other hand, maybe I'll screw this up. What about my prostitution? I don't what my children to hate me, Masina."

Masina guides them to the bed, Seth crosses his legs once on the bed. "Look at your arms."

"What?"

"Your arms, manamea." He follows to where Masina's gesturing, gasping when he finally realizes what she means. His arms are protectively folded around his midsection. "Exactly," Masina places a gentle hand on his leg. "You're already protective of your baby, Seth. You'd done that immediately I entered this room. You're already acting out of instinct, as a mother, as a parent. You're already protecting this baby inside you. And your prostitution, this little one won't care about that. They'll love _you_ for who you are. They'll see _you,_ who you really are. This little baby will be so proud to have you as a mother."

"Babies," Seth corrects quietly. "Quadruplets."

Masina exclaims loudly, happily, in Samoan. Seth can't get everything she's saying but it's something about thanking their ancestors and being overwhelmed with joy. It brings a tiny beam to his face, his arms wrap tighter around his abdomen. "That's beautiful manamea, so precious!" Masina hugs him close, but Seth's arms remain where they are. He can't get them to move. "At the hospital, when they told you about the pregnancy, how did you feel?

"I—didn't believe it at first," Seth shakes his head in sadness, shame flushing his skin. "I don't know, I guess I was…scared. I-I didn't think it was possible. I didn't want it to be possible. But...after, when I. When I saw the them on the screen, I fell in love with them Masina. I love them, all of them, so much. And now, Dr. Baldwin—he said it's possible that one or more of them could die. Something a-about vanishing twin syndrome. I don't want that, Masina. I know I didn't want it to be true at first but I love them now. I want to keep all of them."

"Then remain _positive,_ " Masina kisses his forehead. "Send positive energy to all those little beings growing inside you. They'll send it right back, and it'll be an exchange of positivity. That and do everything your OB/GYNs tell you to do. I'll make you healthier meals, and do whatever I can to help, manamea."

Seth nods, eyes wet with tears. "Thank you, Masina. I also…well, I just. I-I was thinking t-that maybe I-I shouldn't tell Row-man y-yet. J-Just until our b-babies make it past n-nine weeks. The doctor said most of these— _losses,_ " Seth clears his throat, trying to keep his voice from breaking even more. It hurts to talk, it feels like there are shards of glass stuck in his throat. "H-He said they happen within the first nine weeks. So I-I don't w-want to tell Row-man yet. I—don't want to give him false hope." Seth shakes his head, staring into space. "I just…I don't know if I'll be able to keep it from him. I already feel…different, somehow."

"Well I can't tell you what to do, Seth," Masina sighs, rubbing up and down Seth's knee gently. "But I think it would be better if you told Roman. He's their father, and he will be there for you—no matter the outcome. I am confident of that, besides...he deserves to know."

"I know that, Masina," Seth responds tremulously. "I do. But it's better this way. I don't want him to fall in love with these—babies. And find out that one or heck e-even more didn't make it. I-I love him, I won't put him through that. On my tenth week, it's his birthday. If all of them are still there—then they'll be the greatest gift he's ever received. If n-not, then the only sonograms he'll get are of the s-surviving babies. It's the only way, Masina. He's not going to know that I lost his babies. I won't put him through that."

"Manamea," Seth looks at Masina through his tears. "Remember what I said about positivity. You aren't being very positive at the moment. Transmit positivity, only positivity. Do we have a deal?"

"Yes," Seth whispers, nodding his head.

Masina's lips touch his hair, she pulls him up, waiting for him to slide on his flip-flops. "Good," she holds his hand as they head for the kitchen. "And about Leati, I'm not going to tell him. It's not my place to. If you feel waiting is the best option, I'm not going to try to convince you otherwise. Though deep inside, I wish you'd tell him as soon as he came home. But I understand your concerns, just don't wait too long to tell him."

"Thank you, Masina." Seth smiles, inhaling deeply when inside the kitchen. "What's for dinner?"

"Well I thought you needed a change from all that chicken you've been eating lately. So I made a steak. It's non-fatty to ensure you're eating healthy, with fresh mushroom sauce and spinach. There are cracker breads with cottage cheese available, for when you get hungry later on."

Seth grabs the plate filled with his food, opening the fridge to take out his mango juice and then going to sit at the stool near the kitchen island. Sitting at the dining room will only make him feel lonelier, it'll only make Roman's absence more painful. Dinner ends much earlier than it would've if Roman were home. Seth washes his plate, putting it away. He grabs his juice though, going to his and Roman's bedroom with it.

Deciding to take a bath, the brunet enters the bathroom, waiting until the water is filled before submerging himself into the warm liquid. He releases a quiet sigh, still shocked by the day's events. Never in a million years did he think that today would find him pregnant. There are so many thoughts running through his brain. Some positive, and there's the negative too.

His worry over the kind of parent he will be. How the rest of Roman's family will respond to the news. How will Roman's people—the Lanuolans—take to the news. He's seen what people on the media still say about him. How some of them relentlessly repeat his unworthiness of someone like Roman. Because he has too much baggage. Because of his past. But, Roman…

_He loves me._

The thought tumbles confidently in his mind, louder than any other thought shouting in his brain. Seth bites on his lip, rubbing on his stomach gently. Yes, Roman loves him. The royal tells him all the time. It would be stupid to believe otherwise. It's insanity to listen to the other voices, when the one that matters the most speaks so positively to him. Even with Roman not here, Seth can hear his voice, he remembers it. Roman loves him, wholeheartedly.

Leaving the bathroom half an hour later, Seth goes back to the bedroom. He lotions his body and puts on Roman's button up shirt. It's 08:00 PM, much too early for him to go to bed so Seth decides to watch a movie. He settles on the bed, placing a tray with crackers and cheese on his folded legs as Top Gun starts.

Sometime during the movie, his phone starts ringing. Seth grabs it from the bedside table, meeting Roman's face. He frowns, scrunching his nose up nervously. "It's your…Papa." Seth takes a deep breath, holds it briefly, before letting it out. "Hello?"

"Why weren't you answering your phone?"

Okay…so no greeting. Roman's sounds tense, angry even—Seth thinks he can detect a hint of agitation in his tone too. His grip on the phone tightens. "I forgot it at home, when I went for my appointment."

Silence is what he gets this time, there's a crackling sound in the background and distant voices. So Roman is outside then. "John called me. He said he came to the house and Masina told him you were gone."

"I had cramps. I couldn't wait until three so I drove to the hospital."

The silence is longer this time, much longer than what it was before. " _You drove yourself when you were sick?"_

Roman sounds like he's speaking through clenched teeth. It brings a weird knotting to Seth's stomach, only adding to his uneasiness. "No, I didn't. The cramps lasted for maybe ten minutes before they stopped. I drove myself afterwards."

"So you're admitting that you drove yourself then?"

Seth hesitates a bit, knows the explosion that'll probably follow. "Yes," he says finally, eyes closing. "But like I've explained, Roman, I don't know…I thought something was wrong."

"It doesn't change the fact that you're not supposed to drive yourself anywhere, Seth!" The explosion begins, "Why didn't you call John? Where was Masina?"

"I'm more than capable of driving myself anywhere, Roman! Excuse me if I didn't think to call Masina because I was scared that something was wrong with me."

"That is not the point, Seth Rollins! The point here, is that you have _bodyguards_ for a _reason._ You already have people invading your privacy. Stalking you and taking fucking pictures of you without consent. There are people who—god," Roman's heavy exhale reaches his ears. Seth clutches his phone tighter swallowing the lumps in his throat. "Some of these people, they hate you for being with me. I don't know why because I'm not that great but they still want you away from me. Maybe they think they're better, I don't know. But if you're going to hospitals unguarded, going to grocery stores on your own. I don't know what the fuck you think will happen, Seth."

Seth blinks the tears away, mind slowly processing Roman's words. "…how did you know about the store?"

"Really, that's what you're thinking about? Out of everything I said?"

"How, Row-man?"

Another deep exhale reaches Seth's ears, while the brunet himself, doesn't dare breathe. A part of him already knows what Roman will say and the mere thought angers him. He's experiencing a fucking whirlwind of emotions lately so he's caught between snapping at the royal to answer him and crying. Or maybe both, being angry at Roman sounds so appealing but so does crying.

"I just do, Seth," Roman's voice is softer now, like he'd been calming himself down. "I am in Africa, and I can easily get to you. Get your location. How worse is it with the people surrounding you?"

Seth nods his head, cursing his traitorous tears. _Bloody hormones!_ "So you're, uh—having me followed? Mhm, okay."

"What would you have me do, Seth? Find out that some psycho hurt you on the streets? You're not utilizing your bodyguards like you're supposed to. Things happen Seth, _bad_ things happen. To good people even. You're no longer some nameless face on the street, those days are long gone. I can't have anything happen to you, don't you get it? All this security, it's all for your protection. Because I love you, and I can't lose you. Not yet, not ever if I had the power."

"But you're still h-having me followed, Row-man. That isn't right. Now I'll always be looking over my shoulder, trying to figure out which one of your puppies are watching my every move."

"It's for your protection!" the growling has returned.

Something quivers inside Seth's stomach, he thinks he's going to throw up. He's hurt, frustrated, angry, there's vulnerability and sadness. "So that's how you always find me? I am not a possession, Row-man. How many times should I tell you that? You're no different from these— _stalkers._ "

Roman's scoff annoys the fuck out of him, "It's not the same and you know it, alofagia. What _I_ am doing is keeping you safe. This isn't about me thinking of you as a fucking possession. I know you're not that—you're the furthest thing from that. But bad things happen in the world, _dangerous_ things. You see the news. And then you expect me to not have people follow you to ensure you're safe? Very funny, Seth."

Sucking in deep air into his lungs, Seth speaks quietly into the phone. "If I utilize John and Braun the way I'm supposed to, then you have to tell your puppies to stop. They need to respect my privacy, it's my right—as a human being. You're not allowed to take that away from me. Can we both agree on that?"

"Yes," the response comes after a light years of silence. And Seth is finding it hard to believe Roman, he knows better. He should probably fight the royal more on the subject, but a part of him understands where Roman's coming from. Even if the man went about doing things the wrong way. But he's pregnant now, it isn't just his safety that he has to think about. Four little ones depend on him, to protect them—from the cruelty of the world.

"Thank you."

Even though Roman isn't here, Seth just knows the man is nodding his head. He knows quite a few things about Roman and his adorable habits. "What did Dr. Baldwin say?"

"Nothing m-much," the lie is accompanied by the vicious thumping of his heart. He hates lying to Roman, but he sees no other way. They can't both be heartbroken over their babies if anything were to happen. He's sparing the man he loves from any heartache. "The pills weren't for me so I'm ditching them. I'll try something else. Maybe IUD or the Depo-Provera shot. W-We can t-talk about it when you get back."

"Is that all he said?"

"Mhm."

Silence reigns again, and Seth fidgets this time, even though Roman can't see him. Because he can almost see the royal's face, his eyebrow raised inquisitively and his dark orbs stern. A part of him knows Roman doesn't believe him one bit. "I see…so what are you doing?"

"Watching Top Gun."

"Damn, without me?"

"I'm nearing the part where Goose dies."

" _Oh._ "

"Yes," Seth laughs, chucking a cracker into his mouth with one hand. "You'd be close to crying now."

"It's a crime not to cry during that scene, alofagia. If only the canopy would have cleared quicker, we could have had more Goose and less heartache."

"Yeah, yeah. We're not all weak, like you. Anyway, tell me about Sierra Leone. When did you get there? I was checking the time difference and it said you guys are four hours ahead of us. Which means it's just about…um, 01:00 a.m. in Freetown. You should be asleep, Roman."

"I can't sleep without talking to you first," Roman responds, making Seth smile. The brunet stays on the line with his boyfriend for over an hour, talking about any and everything. About the most useless of things, and there are times where they both say nothing and just listen to each other— _breathing._ Seth puts his phone on speaker then, resting it on his clothed belly for a few minutes. Yes, Roman's miles and miles away and he doesn't know about their babies…yet.

But the little ones inside Seth's belly do, so the brunet introduces them to their father. Dr. Baldwin said it's too soon for them to hear anything but to Seth it doesn't matter. His kids are meeting their father, the love of his life.

"I love you, alofagia." Roman says finally, Seth looks at the bedside clock, 12:15 a.m. it reads.

"I love you too…prick."

* * *

 

The next three days aren't as easy as Seth would love them to be. It's like these babies are set on making his life a living hell now that they've made their presence known. The nausea creeps in all times of the day, and then there's the bathroom visits that increase with each passing day. And his body….god, do his nipples hurt!

Seth thinks he's developed a tiny bulge too. He woke up this morning, and after showering, gave himself a once over on the mirror. There's definitely something going on in there, with his concave stomach, it's slightly protruded. It's causing Seth to worry a bit, if he's being honest. Because when Roman comes home…chances are he'll _know._ With the weird shape of his stomach, the royal's bound to know. But a little hope never killed anyone. He hopes he'll make it to ten weeks without Roman noticing a thing although a part of him knows it's just wishful thinking.

A lot of his skinny jeans are refusing to make it past his thighs lately. So Seth makes use of Roman's clothing, wearing the man's Nike shorts and matching hoodie. Roman's clothes are still baggy on him at least, they're good for hiding what's beneath his stomach too.

"Hi John," he greets his bodyguard outside the house. The ever so serious brawny man is driving him to the hospital. For the eighth week ultrasound scan with Dr. Baldwin.

"Seth," John goes to the driver's side.

"Where's Braun?"

"Family emergency," John responds as he exits the mansion's long driveway.

"So it's just you and me?" Seth asks even though he knows there are chances that that's not the case. What with Roman having him followed around and shit.

"Looks like it."

Seth nods his head, leaning back against his seat. John turns the radio on, leaving him to be alone in his thoughts. Roman knows about this hospital visit, Seth had made sure to tell him because if he's hadn't, chances are the royal would've been told by John or one of his puppies. Roman thinks it's a visit to find out about other birth control tools though. Seth didn't talk long enough to find out whether or not Roman bought his story.

He opens his water bottle, drinking the bland drink in slow gulps to calm his nerves down. It's only been three days but he's scared, after reading and torturing himself on the internet about the risks and complications that come with carrying multiples. There's a lot of dark emotions he's going through, an emptiness too. But he's been trying to follow Masina's advice about positivity.

He'd even watched a few videos of other families with multiples and how they beat the odds. Hell, he'd read about a woman who gave birth to octuplets. She's fine and so are her babies. If they made it, so will him and the four lives inside him.

"Seth? We're here." John's voice breaks him out of his ruminating, Seth exits the car, John closing the door after him. "I'll be at the waiting area then."

"Mhk."

Seth spots Nia as soon as they enter the hospital. She's excited to see him, crushing him into a hug and dragging him away from John as they head to the OB/GYN office he utilized the last time.

"Soooo," Nia maintains steady eye contact, her brown depths gleaming. "Are you showing yet? Of course bodies are different. But I'm quite excited. Actually that's a lie, _I'm beyond excited._ I just want to see you waddle around with a big belly."

"Uh…" the door opens, revealing Dr. Baldwin's sturdy form. "I guess you'll find out now. You can stay if you want to. I mean, if you're not busy with a patient or—you can just stay."

Nia grabs a seat, while Seth gets on the examination table. He unzips his hoodie jacket, thanking Nia with a smile as she grab it for him. He lifts his t-shirt and tries to make himself comfortable on the examination table.

"Alright, Mr. Rollins, how are we today?"

"As well as a pregnant man can be? I…guess?"

Dr. Baldwin chuckles loudly as he sets up the equipment. "That's fair. Okay so let's get started shall we?" Seth tries not to flinch too much this time when the cold gel connects with his skin. Dr. Baldwin places the wand on his stomach before continuing. "So by convention, we call the baby closest to the cervix Baby A. And there he or she is, our baby A—"

"Oh, he's so cute!" Nia coos, interrupting Dr. Baldwin. Seth spares her a brief glance, laughing at her heart eyes. His poor babies are going to be smothered so badly.

"I know, right?" Dr. Baldwin chuckles, "Okay, so there's the head, heart, arm…and there's another little arm. Right there, Baby A's lower limbs, his little leg buds."

"They're so beautiful—" Seth chokes out, unable to stop his tears. Not that he'd try to stop them, the waterdam breaks so easily these days. But for his babies, he'd cry a river if he had to. "Is that it's heartbeat? Does it tell you what the heartrate is?"

"Mhm," Dr. Baldwin nods his head, "So I gotta calculate it. And Baby A's heartrate is at 163 beats per minute. Which is completely normal, fantastic. I'll just label it."

Dr. Baldwin takes a whole bunch of measurements for all the babies, Seth tried to get all the information but he'd been mostly focused on finding out if all the babies were okay. It's a relief exiting the OB/GYN office, Seth feels somewhat lighter. According to Dr. Baldwin, everything is progressing as it should be, with the identical twins too. But it doesn't mean that they're still out of the woods yet, the risks are always there—lingering. All he can do right now is remain positive, which is what Seth will do.

He makes a trip to a nutritionist for nutritional counselling and receives another handbook from a nurse on prenatal workouts. Seth puts everything carefully in his bag before going to find John in the waiting room. "Let's go, John."

His bodyguard jumps at the instruction, almost as if he'd been deep in thought. Or maybe he was sleeping, but with his eyes wide open. Seth wouldn't blame him though, he did take quite a while with his ultrasound. And then he also had to go to the nutritionist. "Everything okay?"

The question catches him off guard, Seth clears his throat. "Yes…why?"

He tries his hardest not to fidget at John's scrutinizing stare, it annoys him and makes him fidgety at the same time. "I…you just look like you were crying is all."

"Oh," one hand snaps to his face, Seth feels for any remaining embarrassing tears. "It's nothing. Can we stop at Bayside Marketplace? I want to get a few things."

John's eyebrows furrow in surprise but he nods his head, leading Seth to the parking area. The brunet rolls his eyes when John gets his door for him. "All ya had to do was say thank you. No sassiness, is that too much to ask for?"

Seth chuckles, placing his bag on his lap. "And all ya had to do was get to the front and let me open my own door. Is that too much to ask for?"

"Touché."

Because Roman's gone crazy about making sure that he's safe lately, Seth begrudgingly allows John to follow his every move. At least the brawny man is wise enough to remain outside the stores while Seth looks around. He spots a Victoria's Secret, walks to the front doors, only to hesitate. Should he? Or shouldn't he?

Roman's birthday is less than two weeks away, and Seth was thinking they could have dinner with his family. And then at home, he will present Roman with the sonogram pictures but he could make things spicier for his man too. Maybe do a little dance routine in nothing but sexy lingerie. That is if he'll still be feeling sexy then, his belly is intent on making him look like a whale after all.

Seth decides to give in, he enters the store, heading for the underwear section. Everything is so beautiful, so provocative and some items a little more risqué than the others. Seth picks whatever he finds appealing, getting much more underwear than he'll need. He grabs a few suggestive negligées too. He'll need those, for when he looks like he's swallowed four watermelons.

After paying for the items, not without blushing a bit, Seth hightails it out of the store. The feverish feeling only worsens when faced with a smug John. "Not a word," he warns, grateful when the brawny asshole shrugs his shoulders and lifts his hands in a surrendering gesture. "Good, I'm starving. Let's find some food."

Seth gets himself a Double Bacon Mozzarella Stick Cheeseburger, two of them, and two bottles of water. He eats in the car, much to John's annoyance but all he wants to do is get home. They are almost home when he spots a store…

"John, can we stop here. It's just, I want to check that store out."

"The baby store? Bumblebeez?"

"Yes," Seth nods his head. He's out of the car immediately John finds a parking spot. His bodyguard's footsteps sound behind him, the man even follows him inside the store this time. There isn't much Seth can do about it, so he just grabs a basket and scans the isles, spotting a section that has the words 'We're pregnant!' painted in sage. "A friend of mine, uh…Xavier. He's pregnant so I want to buy a few things for him," there's no need to explain himself but John's staring is getting to him.

And about Xavier being pregnant, well he isn't sure. A few weeks ago his young friend looked like he'd gained a little, but when he spoke to him again a few days ago he looked exhausted, thinner even. But pregnant bodies are not the same, at least that's what Dr. Baldwin told him. Besides, why is he speculating about Xavier's pregnancy when the younger man hasn't even said anything?

It's probably about five minutes later that Seth finally finds something that tugs at his heartstrings. It's a cute little teddy bear dressed in a frost colored t-shirt that's trimmed in lime at the hems. The words on it are poetic, if you will, well they're not that creative but they bring a grin to his face and cause his heart to flutter in warmth nonetheless. The message is simple.

_Roses are red_

_Violets are blue_

_I'm having a baby,_

_And the father is you_

Seth laughs to himself, the tears brimming in his eyes, maybe this would be the perfect way to announce his pregnancy to Roman. He grabs the teddy bear, putting it into his basket before moving on. The last thing he grabs are four beanies that are too cute to leave behind, they're mint green with alphabets on them. Seth grabs four, from letters A until D. He'll need these in a couple of months to come.

The entire ride home, Seth can't help but notice that John's eye keeps going to him. The man looks at him as if he's found out the most interesting ever. He suspects that John didn't buy his story of getting the baby items for Xavier. His suspicions are confirmed when just after he's retrieved his items and heading for the door, John's, "Congratulations, Seth!" reaches his ears.

Seth turns to face the brawny man, gracing him with a small smile. "I'd say I don't know what you're taking about but I'll just be wasting my time. So I'm going to say I hate your nosiness and thank you! And not a word to Roman, I'll tell him myself." Seth turns on his heels, not waiting for a response.

"Seth? Come to the kitchen."

Seth follows Masina's voice, entering the kitchen. The first thing he's met with are a bunch of white roses forming a heart shape with one red rose in the center. "Masina…" Seth's eyes widen, a gasp tears out of his lips. "What is this?"

"These…are yours," Masina is practically beaming.

"Mines?"

"Yes, there's a card attached too." Masina pulls it out, giving it to him.

Seth opens the card with shaky hands, brown eyes scan the paper. Warmth settles in the pit of his stomach, the butterflies swimming harder than anything he's felt in a while. "O-Oh," he stutters, cursing his bloody hormones for the tears that leave him.

_Alofagia,_

_I miss you._

_Roman._

The message is simple enough but like anything Roman does, it affects him deeply. Because he misses the man too, so much, even though they talk everyday. Seth isn't even going to get started on what the man sending him these flowers is doing to him.

"There's one last thing." Masina's brown pools sparkle as she gives him a basket filled with his favorite foods. There's fruit, his favorite Cheetos, a few chocolates and so many goodies—most of them healthy treats. "He bought you that Ferrero Rocher gelato you're in love with too. And of course, there's mango juice. Called and told me to make your favorites tonight."

"Why?" Seth asks, as far as he knows, today's just like any other day.

"Don't know," Masina shrugs. "But you're getting spoiled today so enjoy it."

"I will…" Seth juggles grabbing the basket, and walks out of the kitchen. In the bedroom, he places all his items on the bed, grabbing the gift bag with his baby items and hiding it safely on his side of the drawer. He puts the sonogram pictures there too. There are a few clothes he bought too. Two sweatpants and t-shirts, those go to the en-suite closet.

It's three, the sun's still burning brightly so Seth figures he could go out for an afternoon swim, he'd read on those prenatal workout pamphlets that it's beneficial and safe for him to exercise in water. He's taken off his clothes and slipped on his trunks when his phone rings. It's Roman, and Seth's heart fills with sunny warmth as he answers with a quiet, "Daddy."

Roman always laughs when he says that, except when they're having sex. He growls and grunts and does sinful things to him whenever Seth says that during sex. "I miss you," are Roman's first words to him.

"Miss you too, Rome." Seth responds honestly, "I got your gifts. I love them, thank you."

"It's a pleasure."

Seth nods his head even though Roman can't see him, "I'm not sure if I missed anything though. Not sure what's the reason for the gifts."

"I don't need a reason to buy you gifts, alofagia. I'll buy them whenever I want to, because you deserve to be spoiled. You deserve everything in the world."

"I think I have the world, I already have you." _And our babies,_ the words tumble silently in his brain. _You're all I need._

"Dr. Baldwin…how did your appointment go with him?"

"Good," Seth nibbles on his lip, falling on the loveseat in the balcony. "We discussed a few…um, birth control, uh—it went good, Roman."

Silence.

In fact the silence falls between them for what feels like forever to Seth before he hears Roman's set, "Good. I'm glad things…" Roman clears his throat, making Seth's stomach churn nervously. "…went okay. So tell me about your day. What else did you do?"

 _Something_ in Roman's tone has his breath quickening. Seth takes a deep breath, lets it out quietly before answering to his boyfriend's non ending questions.

* * *

 

When Tuesday comes, Seth swears he's going to die from his anxiety. Nearly nine weeks, and his belly just keeps on growing. It's a bit more pronounced, the concave shape more visible. A part of him wishes Roman would stay in Africa for another week. Just one more week so that he can confirm with the doctor that his babies are okay. But even then it would be futile, what he needs to do is hope that the little ones make it past the first trimester.

Roman said he needn't go to the airport with Bobby to fetch him. So Seth's been at home the entire day, he'd done the exercises as per the prenatal workout guide. He'd fed himself wholesome, filling meals to ensure that his babies got fed. And then he'd rested. He woke up about an hour ago. Right now, he's walking aimlessly in the huge backyard to stretch his legs while he waits for Roman to come home with Bobby and Manuia.

The hoodie he's wearing is making him feel a bit hot but Seth won't take it off. He's too scared to, especially with what he's hiding beneath the baggy item. "Manamea?"

Seth stops his pacing, giving Masina his attention. "Yes?"

"It's time for lunch. You should've had it two hours ago."

"I'm sorry, I've just been…preoccupied." Seth glances at his feet.

"You don't need to be so nervous," Masina places a hand on his shoulder. "And you can still change your mind. Tell him when he comes home. He'll be over the moon."

"N-No, I can't do that Masina. There chances are still there, that I'll lose his babies."

"Well I'm sorry to say this Seth, but things like that happen. _You_ wouldn't have lost his babies. It's science, miscarriage is never the carrier's fault Seth. I don't think it'll happen with you. I hope it won't. But even it does—our ancestors forbid—if it happens, know that it wouldn't have been your fault. I don't want you to put the blame on yourself. And besides, right now…it hasn't happened. Your babies are fighting to beat the odds, do the same for them. They are the ones you're fighting for. And you've been doing exceptionally well. You're eating right, you're exercising and resting well. You're trying to have a healthy pregnancy and that's all you can do."

Seth nods his head, Masina's words are his source of strength. Even when he has doubts or the fear gets to him, she's always there—guiding and supporting him. "Thank you, Masina."

"No problem, now come along." Masina grips his hand as they trail back to the house. "I've made you Chicken mayo toast and baked sweet potato fries."

"Sounds yummy," Seth moans. He perches his ass on the stool at the island, grinning when Masina kisses his cheek. Seth tries not to be over enthusiastic in his eating but he's hungry, he's _always_ hungry. So he munches on the toasty goodness, moaning and groaning in bliss.

Halfway into his food session, he senses _him. His_ presence. Swallowing the bread in his mouth is a struggle. Roman's watching him, the man's dark swirls burning holes into the back of his neck. _Settle down,_ Seth lectures his little humans mentally. His body is reacting, it practically calls out to the man whose gaze is still fixated on him.

Roman's scent comes from behind him, causing his body to go into a frenzy. Seth's heart is beating so loud, and he's still trying to swallow the damn bread in his mouth. He doesn't know why but he feels like crying—especially with the heavy feeling on his shoulders. Roman still hasn't said anything, but Seth's in tune to his needs. He bares his neck when Roman's strong arms fold just above his belly.

The royal breathes him in—for a very long time. Their invisible bubble cloaks them, it's just the two of them and no else. No else except maybe their babies. Seth releases a shaky breath, feeling utterly consumed. Lost in love, with the man who owns his heart. Roman's nuzzling his neck, and then kissing and nipping at the sensitive part of his neck.

"God, I've missed you." Roman says quietly, face still in Seth's neck.

"Missed you too."

Their eyes meet when Roman turns him around, "Hey," the royal whispers, brown swirls pulling Seth in. It's the love in them that steals his breath away.

"Hey," Seth echoes. He leans into Roman's touch, his hands folding on top of the royal's, whose own hands grip Seth's face gently. There's always a level of anticipation when Roman leans into kiss him. Always a reaction in his body, an abnormal beating of his heart, a fluttering in his stomach, a clamminess of hands. It never changes, no matter how many times Roman kisses him.

There's an eruption in his stomach when Roman's lips finally meet his. There's a tenderness in the way Roman's handling him. With each gentle glide against Roman's tongue, Seth loses himself in Roman. In their love. It's sweet intensity, passionate but loving. It's a sweet fire, one that burns so good. It's a drug, one that shoots straight to the heart. All of these things, Seth feels. He's entirely consumed by the man he loves.

Roman's lips then travel to every inch of his face, kissing and silently claiming, like they always do. Seth chews on his lower lip, eyes fluttered shut. The kisses to his hair seem to last forever before Roman pulls away. "I've especially missed your beard," Seth grins at Roman's chuckle. He shakes his head, stroking Roman's cheeks lovingly. "I love you."

"I love you too."

Seth's yelp rings out in the kitchen when Roman lifts him up. Arms immediately enfolding around Roman's neck, Seth groans in fake annoyance. "Roman, put me down!"

The prick rarely listens, Seth closes his eyes and simply allows the man to carry him to wherever he's taking them. They're ascending the stairs, Seth can feel it. A door opens, closing again when Seth finally feels Roman sit down on a bed. He opens his eyes, the man has carried him into their bedroom. "I got you a few things, from Sierra Leone. A few jewelry, a few paintings from the kids. I'll give you everything later."

"Thank you," Seth kisses Roman's lips. "Did you travel safe? Was everything okay there? Accommodation and everything?"

"Mhm," Roman's hum is mindless. The man's examining him with an eye that makes Seth anxious. "You're beautiful, weight gain looks good on you."

"Haven't gained that much weight!" Seth tries for a laugh that ends up coming out too high-pitched.

Roman's gaze never falters, but his eyebrows furrow. Seth has no idea what the look means, he doesn't try to decipher it. He's too scared, and Roman's hands are slowly trailing to his belly making him shift around on Roman's lap. "How was your week? Anything I need to know about?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," the erratic beating of his heart troubles him. Seth keeps praying that Roman isn't hearing how hard the damn thing's beating. "I-I finally listened to t-that M-Mint Condition you sent to my phone. I am flattered that you think my brown eyes are pretty. But that song has stalker-ish tendencies, Rome." Seth notices that he's chuckling alone. "It's a great song though," he tries for a relaxed smile but Roman's making him feel uneasy.

What is he looking for? With that unwavering gaze of his.

"I have something I need to do in my study," Roman shifts Seth off his lap. "Important files that need my attention."

Seth clears his throat, faking a smile. "If it's important, I won't keep you."

Roman's weight lifting off the bed knocks the air out of his lungs, his chest clenches painfully. _He knows._ The words screech in his mind. But Seth refuses to believe them, maybe foolishly. But Roman _can't_ know, John wouldn't dare. And both Nia and Masina had promised not to tell too. And right now, it really won't help him stressing on things he has no certainty of.

Roman's holding the door, gaze on him. Seth maintains the eye contact a beat, two beats, before looking away. It feels like Roman's seeing everything he's trying to hide. When the door closes, Seth slumps on the bed. He grabs Roman's pillow, hugs it close. It hasn't even been an hour that Roman has returned but there's already a strange atmosphere between the two of them.

 _His_ eyes are on him—for the millionth time today—Seth can feel it. The first thing he's met with is the bedside clock, 06:05 p.m. it reads. It's the perfect time for dinner. Unsure of when he'd fallen asleep, the brunet blinks the drowsiness out of his eyes. Hesitantly, he decides to meet Roman's stare. It's unwavering, like it had been in the afternoon. The man resembles a mannequin with his creepy staring, but Seth can't bring himself to look away.

He doesn't know how long they spend looking at each other silently, before the huger finally gets to him. "I'm starving," he whispers.

The mannequin can't speak of course, but at least it stands up and carries Seth. The brunet exhales softly, wrapping his arms around ~~the mannequin~~ , Roman. "You guys have decided to pitch up for dinner," Masina's annoyance is visible. She doesn't look impressed.

Roman says nothing but there's a hint of a smile on his face, Seth thinks it's just out of politeness and respect to the middle-aged woman. "We're sorry," he decides to say something. "Thank you," he tells Roman who helps him into his chair in the dining room.

"It's a pleasure."

There's still _something_ in Roman's voice that Seth can't quite put his finger on. "So…" the brunet plays with his food—Lamb casserole today. "Did you manage to finish whatever needed your attention?"

"Yes," Roman nods, quite tensely it looks to Seth. "Long ago but you were asleep when I got back into the bedroom. Can't say I'm surprised…you tire easily lately."

"Mhm," Seth hums quietly.

Roman's eyebrows furrow until they are touching, his jaw tightens with each chew. The fixed gaze Roman has on him is almost too much for Seth to take. The royal looks tense, the air around him too. Tension curls around Seth, fighting to run away. He startles when Roman stands up abruptly. "Excuse me," is all he gets before Roman walks out of the dining room.

Seth's whole body seems to slump after the man leaves. He buries his face into his hands, lips quivering. Something is going on with Roman. _He knows._ The thought crosses his mind again. But how? John…well he hadn't waited for John to confirm that he wouldn't tell Roman. But Seth knows the man, he wouldn't do that. Not when he'd asked him not to. So how?

Appetite lost, Seth still forces himself to at least finish the food on his plate. Masina comes to collect the dishes a little while later and her attempt at light conversation has Seth feeling more anxious. He tries to actively engage with her but he's too distracted and she gives him a weird look when he answers a totally weird answer to one of her questions.

Seth leaves then, going to the bedroom. The balcony door is wide open, Seth can see his boyfriend's imposing body. He's only in a pair of black boxers, he's leaning against the elegant glass railing with a tumbler of whisky next to him. The royal's staring into the distance, Seth isn't sure if the man is even aware that he's being watched.

Deciding not to interrupt him, Seth strides to the bathroom for a quick shower. He's done in less than ten minutes and towels himself dry. Normally he wraps his towel around his waist but he can't really do that now. The fluffy item wraps his body from his chest down. Roman isn't in the bedroom when he enters. Seth releases a relieved sigh as he lotions his body. He's just slipped on his silky robe when the bedroom door opens and in walks his boyfriend.

Seth watches him walk to the dresser and set the tumbler half filled with whisky on the mahogany table. The brunet stands in place, even though all he wants to do is run away, as Roman's eyes find him. They burn too dark, his features too strained. " _Strip_ ," he isn't being asked, Seth knows it. And Roman's expression conveys much more than words ever could. His lips are pressed together, but his veins are throbbing. His eyes are too blank for Seth to read, and all it does is take Seth back to the past.

"I'm waiting Seth," it's said so calmly, a huge contradiction to the expression on Roman's face. The man's leaning against the dresser, arms folded across his chest.

There's a short circuit in his brain that's making him slow but Seth still manages a small head nod. His chest hurts and he's trying to breathe properly but it's hard, with how it keeps on lifting and falling painfully. Shaky hands untie the knot on his robe, he's already crying even before he can reveal all of himself to Roman.

A yelp escapes him when the robe falls off his shoulders, pooling down at his feet. It's futile but Seth still tries to cover himself up, his hands going to cover his protruding belly. "Row-man," he cracks. The tears fall harder, he doesn't know why. But he's scared, anxious for the man to say something…anything.

Roman's eyes are fixed on his belly for a long time while Seth shakes, his trembling hands still attempting to hide his belly. When their eyes meet again, Seth thinks he sees what looks like hurt flash in dark orbs but it's gone too fast. Blankness stealing the spotlight.

The air in the bedroom is tense, it reeks of so many emotions. Too many of them coming from his end while Roman just…stares. Seth tires out, eventually, his sobs quietening. He turns away from Roman, decides to walk away from him. He can't do this. Not now. Roman isn't even saying anything. And Seth, he has no idea what that means. Maybe, maybe Roman…

"Seth Rollins, hold still."

The brunet freezes mid-step. But his back remains turned away from Roman. The royal's always silent in his footsteps but Seth can sense his presence behind him. It's overwhelming, it causes Seth's eyes to flutter shut, his heart thumping loudly. He doesn't dare breathe, doesn't dare turn around. A large hand settles on his shoulder, making him shake with anticipation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so maybe Seth inspired some angst. I'm sorry, LOL. Please excuse any pregnancy inconsistencies, I really dont know much about the subject. But I'm watching as many videos and learning all I can. And if there's one thing I love about writing, it's the knowledge I get from it. I didn't know much about multiples even though I'm a twin. But I think I'm going to enjoy Seth's pregnancy. Thoughts?


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, you guys. Okay so I'm not quite sorry for not posting this chapter last week. I had majority of it written on Sunday the 21st. The plan was to post it on Monday the 22nd because I had an exam on Tuesday. But I had to finalize it on Monday so I figured I'd post it on Tuesday but after my exam, I went to my Facebook and learned about Roman/Joe's cancer. I've been down throughout the week and it's taken a while to get over the shock. I'm still not totally over it. So I decided I wouldn't post anything out of respect for you, the readers and myself. So that we all could deal or try to cope with what happened on Raw. I didn't want to be insensitive or uncaring so I hope you understand.  
> Also, my family is like very spiritual so I'm keeping Roman/Joe in my prayers. I hope you do too and I know he'll whoop Leukemia's ass and come back stronger than ever. I love him so much, and condolences to his family.

"Turn around."

Seth's eyes snap open at the instruction, he lets out a burdened breath, licking his lips cold lips. His body is still trembling, a part of him too scared to meet Roman. The intense beating of his heart only makes him feel worse. Blank eyes meet his, making Seth shivering cold despite his inflamed his body. There's a silence in their bedroom, the only sound being of his unsteady breathing.

Roman's eyebrows slowly pull together, "You're not killing my child," the darkness in Roman's tone sends a chill in the air. Obsidian coals narrow in on Seth, burning red hot. Roman's hands are clenched into fists—he looks so volatile that the brunet scrambles backwards unconsciously.

"I w-wasn't planning—to," Seth manages to choke out, his arms enfolding around his midsection protectively. "Not once did that thought cross my m-mind."

The same blazing coals watch him, unwavering. But Seth sees flickers of uncertainty in them, an internal war seems to be going on in Roman's mind. _Please believe me._ Seth pleads through the blurriness in his eyes. He's bare, in every sense of the word, hoping with everything in him that Roman believes him. Because of all the things he'd thought Roman would say, he hadn't expected the man to think that he might abort their babies. He's not even sure where the idea stems from.

Too lost in thought, Seth fails to see Roman go down on one knee. But he startles lightly when he feels something cold and slightly wet on his belly. Seth looks down, and he can't hold back his tears again. He chews on his bottom lip, his hands entangling in raven hair. His heart is cracking and healing at the same time. Love rips through him, unapologetic and in abundance.

Roman's kissing his belly, his arms enfolded around Seth's waist—possessively, protectively, lovingly. The royal kisses his belly for an eternity before he whispers a few words against Seth's protruding stomach. When he finally stands up again, their eyes meet. Love is what Seth finds this time, undisguised beautiful love.

It heals him, comforts the pain he'd been feeling not too long ago. Seth releases a small scream when his feet float in the air, instinctively wrapping his arms around Roman's neck, he clings to his man. Roman's voice is booming in their bedroom, he's yelling, "I'm going to be a father!" loudly, joyfully in Samoan.

Seth nods his head, clinging tighter, the tears raining down his cheeks heavily. But the tears are of joy this time, the tears are ones of relief. He wraps his legs around Roman's waist, letting his man express his sheer happiness. Tiny giggles leave him when Roman spins them around. "If you don't ease up, I'm going to vomit on you Roman," he whispers against Roman's neck.

The spinning stops, thankfully, because Seth really had been on the verge of vomiting. Roman carries him to the bed, kissing him softly. Looking into the eyes that are his home, Seth feels his body flush with excessive emotion. His hands rest on top of Roman's, whose own hands are firmly planted on Seth's abdomen. "You're pregnant," Roman says in wonder.

"I a-am," Seth confirms tremulously. "You knew…h-how?"

"You were hiding it from me," Roman sounds infuriated, skeptical. His hand grips the back of Seth's neck, holding him in place. "Why?"

"I was," Seth lifts his hand, gesturing for Roman to ease up a little, the grip at the back of his neck is iron tight. "I was going to tell you, Row-man. Not today, b-because…no. You haven't answered my question. How? Dr. Baldwin, did y-you ask him? Because he's not allowed to do that."

"I didn't ask him, he's a reputable doctor. He wouldn't do that, Seth. It doesn't matter who I am."

"Then h—" Seth cuts himself short, exhaling softly. Asking Roman how he knew about his pregnancy is a waste of time. He isn't even sure if he'll like the response he'll get. "Do I even want to know how you found out, Row-man?"

"No, because it's not that important. What is important is that you were hiding this from me," Roman's jaw clenches, the veins on his neck still throbbing. He looks hurt—angered. "Why?"

"I was scared," it's an honest response, "Dr. Baldwin told me about my pregnancy and I was shocked. We were using protection, and then I got on the pill. But then I remembered that time i-in Tampa before I l-left for Xavier's. I don't think you used…" a tiny sigh rings in the room, "protection. When I went to Dr. Baldwin, at first, he told me I am pregnant with twins. I was…scared, but in love. And t-then, he said no, he wants to show me something spectacular."

Seth leaves Roman's lap, leaning towards his side of the bed, to access his drawer. He grabs the envelopes he's been receiving from his OB/GYN and the gift bag carrying the teddy bear and the beanies. "I…wanted to surprise you on your birthday," he hands the envelopes to his boyfriend, shrugging softly. "Guess it's ruined now. This—phew, this teddy…it was part of the surprise."

Roman of course isn't listening to anything he's saying, too enchanted by the sonogram pictures. His brown eyes are watery, there's so much warmth in them, so much awe. Roman looks shaken to the core. "The labels?"

His boyfriend's voice is roughened with emotion. Seth nods his head, grabbing one of the sonogram pictures to look at. "This one, he or she is our third baby. Baby C, according to Dr. Baldwin."

Roman's eyebrows pull together, perplexion etched vividly on his face. One corner of Seth's mouth lifts gently as understanding dawns on his boyfriend. "Labels are from A to D. You're saying—" Roman can't seem to finish.

"Quadruplets," Seth confirms softly. "What—no. Not again, Roman put me—" Seth's words are swallowed by Roman's mouth. The brunet's legs tighten around Roman's waist once more as the man spins them around while kissing him deeply. Seth caresses his beard, giving as good as he gets. He pulls away for a little breather before crushing Roman's lips against his again. "I love you too," he returns Roman's sung words of adoration.

"The reason I didn't tell you," Seth continues quietly, after they've both settled down, with him back on Roman's lap. "is because Dr. Baldwin told me the risks of carrying four babies at once. There's a chance that one or more of them might not—make it," Roman tenses causing Seth's heart to rip into pieces. The brunet swallows the glass hurting his throat. "I didn't want to put you through that, Row-man. Dr. Baldwin said most of the losses happen within the first nine weeks of pregnancy. One or more of the babies could absorb. I-I just wanted to make it past nine weeks. I was going to tell you, I promise. On your birthday—it's why I bought the teddy bear."

Roman takes the teddy bear, it looks so miniature in his hands. And the way he eyes it, like it's the one of the most fascinating things he's ever seen. Seth shakes his head, joining their hands so that they're both gripping the fluffy toy. "What's his name?"

"Really?"

"Yes."

"I hadn't named him yet. Didn't think to."

"RJ."

Seth laughs a little, "RJ?"

"Roman Jr."

"I should've known."

Roman's dark orbs turn serious, the man's large hand gripping the back of Seth's neck gently. "I love you, with everything in me. You know this. I love our children as I love you. All of them, but if it happens that we…" something flashes in Roman's eyes, it's a haunted look. But it disappears too fast, Roman hiding from him. "I won't hold you accountable. Whatever happens, happens. As long as it's not _you_ who killed them. If my ancestors take them, I'll understand. Not _you._ "

"I would _never_ do that, Roman." Seth assures, his hands cupping Roman's cheeks so that the royal can see the seriousness of his words. "Believe me, please."

Roman doesn't verbally respond but he shows his acknowledgement by nodding his head. Seth hugs him tightly, still unsure of why Roman would assume that he'd want to abort their babies. Not once has the thought crossed his mind since he found out about this pregnancy. Lush lips touch the side of his face, his ear as they trail closer and closer to his lips. Seth moans into Roman's mouth, stroking his beard.

"How far along are you?" is asked after the kiss ends.

"Eight weeks, five days."

"Nearly nine weeks then."

Seth hums affirmative.

"And what are your doctors saying?"

Seth takes the envelope from Roman, holding it against his chest. "Everything is going well so far, thankfully. Dr. Baldwin thinks I may be able to deliver at 34 weeks if everything continues this way. They want to keep me pregnant for as long as possible, for the babies' development. But he said on average, quadruplets are usually delivered at 30 weeks."

"These…complications?"

"There's a lot, I'm always scared. But the doctors are saying to be positive. Nothing bad has happened yet. Masina's said the same too. I'm trying to follow that advice, I'm doing all I can. To be healthy as possible, not just for myself but our babies too."

Seth is rewarded with a soft kiss to his lips. "Masina, huh?"

"She knew all along," Seth rolls his eyes, lifting off the bed to return the items in his drawer. Realizing Roman hasn't seen the beanies, Seth retrieves the cute hats from the gift bag to show to his boyfriend. "I also got these, for when they're here."

Roman gets up, grabbing the beanies, they look so tiny in his hands. The man honestly looks like he's carrying four green insects in his hand. Seth laughs loudly, "Please don't crush our babies once they're born. Your hands are far too big."

"It's not like anything's small about me, alofagia," Roman shrugs.

"Oh, trust me. I know that," Seth leans up to playfully bite on Roman's right ear. "I know exactly what a _big_ boy you are." He pulls away, ignoring Roman's protestant groan. "But I still don't want you crushing our babies. We need to join a prenatal class. That way we'll both learn and be ready for when our little squad arrives."

"I'll ask Bayley—"

Seth shakes his head no, "I'll do it. I don't want everyone knowing I'm pregnant. Besides, I need to learn to do things for my babies now. I'm their mother. Anything that concerns them, I'm responsible for."

"Mother? Is that what you've chosen?"

"It feels right," he's thought about it, and Seth loves the idea of his children calling him mom or mommy. It brings a fluttering to his heart.

Large arms trap him, Seth rests his palms on a firm chest. "Thank you, for giving me the greatest gift on earth. Nothing surpasses what you're carrying inside your stomach Seth. This is the greatest gift I could've ever received from you."

"But I'm a bit bummed. I wanted to do it on your birthday."

"It's an early birthday present, I don't even mind if you're not going to get me anything else on that day."

"I'll think of something else. How do you usually spend your birthday?"

"With my close family, the ones here. But the King, he's coming this year, with my mom of course."

Seth tenses in Roman's arms, eyes widening. "What?! Roman why are you only telling me this now?" he smacks the royal's chest.

"I'm sorry," Roman chuckles. "I only found out yesterday."

"Shit!" Seth pulls away from Roman. "Do I need to do anything? I don't know, like what are their requirements? I think I'm a great cook, do they want that? To see if I qualify?"

"Qualify?"

"Yes, you know…" Seth's hands wave around frantically. "to be the consort. Like specific things you guys do? Tell me now so I can learn. I'll ask Masina to help too."

"That's cheating."

Seth thinks his eyes are going to bulge out of his eye sockets. "So there are requirements?"

"Yes. That you love me."

The royal bastard has his eyebrow raised in amusement, his arms folded across his chest. Seth's lips stretch into a grin. "Roman, it's not funny. I don't want to suck in front of your father. I don't want to embarrass you."

"Relax," Roman's lips touch his forehead. "You could never embarrass me…unless of course you fart in front of my father. Remember the time you did that while I was fuck—"

"No!" Seth's cheeks flush, in fact his entire body heats up at the memory. He's not even going to discuss how many times that's happened. "I'm tired. I'm hungry too."

"What do you want to eat?"

"Ice-cream with grapes. I think I want an omelet too, with lots of cheese."

Seth accepts his robe from Roman, he throws it on the bed in favor of wearing Roman's work shirt. The royal raises an eyebrow but remains silent. Good, Seth thinks he can slowly see himself transform into one of those pregnant spouses that manipulate their husbands when they're pregnant. Or boyfriend, in this case. But it's still husband, Roman reminds him all the time. Traditionally, in Lanuolan culture it's husband.

In the kitchen, Seth settles on one of the stools while Roman retrieves the pan and everything he'll need to make the omelets. Yes, Roman's going to cook for him. He's a bad cook, Seth remembers the first time the man told him that. But he can make eggs, that's the only thing he can make. Seth watches for a while, humming softly to the music playing in the kitchen.

"This group, what's their name?"

"New Edition," Roman turns to face him. "My cousins and I used to dance to their music. I liked Bobby the best, you know, when he was with them. Even after though, his music and his dance skills—real smooth." Seth stands up hesitantly when Roman holds his hand out to him, "A little dance, Mr. Anoa'i? I think our babies agree."

Seth shakes his head but still sways side to side with the man whose arms safely surround him. He leans against Roman's chest, eyes closing. "And this is Bobby?"

"Mhm," Roman hums, "Jey used to play this song to every Mary, Louisa and Rangi. He'd play it for a John, Tommy and Aleki. It worked though. All his 'Ronis' would swoon. Uce even had a speech, a pickup line, that worked on all his conquests. It still works today."

"What about you? You don't do that? I think you do, your words get me every time."

"Because they're from the heart, alofagia."

"See what I mean," Seth chuckles, looking up at Roman. "You know just what to say."

"I try."

Seth pulls away after the song ends. "I'll help cut the vegetables. Get started with the eggs."

"Ah yessir!" the royal bastard even salutes him. Seth rolls his eyes, he fell in love with a dork.

"What is it?" they're sitting at the island. Seth's been enjoying his food, he'd found Masina's remaining casserole and put everything on his plate. But his boyfriend's creepy staring has returned.

"You're just…so beautiful. It's hard not to stare at you. Especially now."

 _Don't cry._ Seth lectures himself, because it's all he ever seems to want to do lately. Cry, eat, sleep, rush to the toilet—repeat. "Stop…I already shed my daily allowance tears today. They won't give me anymore. Save the mushy stuff for tomorrow."

Roman's a little kid, with his head thrown back in chortles. Seth watches him, all care free like he wasn't behaving weirdly not too long ago. But it's what he loves about them. The fact that they both move on, they don't dwell and push and pull to no end. He loves how they can transition from a heavy topic to something lighter and carefree just like that.

"When is your next doctor's appointment? I want to be present for it."

"Next week Friday, on your birthday."

Roman kisses his knuckles softly. "I'll be right here at home the entire day."

"It's your birthday, of course you need to be home. You're the boss after all."

They clear up the dishes after their late night dinner. Seth grabs his bottle of juice, giving Roman his water bottle to carry. Inside their bedroom, passionate love making ensues. It's been a while, been too long. So they make up for the days spent apart, their breathless moans and gasps filling the bedroom.

Seth allows Roman's strong body to cocoon him. The royal's right arm folds around him, his large hand protectively resting on his belly. Seth sighs lowly, feeling protected. Never has he felt safer, this content, this happy. Roman's love intoxicates him wholly, and when darkness overtakes him that night, his dreams revolve around the man he loves and their future. 

* * *

 

"Happy birthday, Daddy," Seth struggles to get the words without wheezing them. His heart's still beating so fast, his body still flushed and tingling all over. His hole still contracts around Roman's cock despite it's sensitivity. But he's proud of himself, he'd rode his man's dick like the pro he is. Roman's non ending praises are proof that. They'd just kept falling as Seth bounced on his dick, danced around on him and moved his body so sensually, he had Roman completely transfixed.

The birthday man sits up, kissing the sensitive part of Seth's neck. "Thank you, alofagia. You're so perfect, so beautiful."

"I love you too," Seth supplies, grinning widely. "I feel so guilty having sex with your parents in the house with us."

"It's not like they don't know what two adult people who are in love get up to in their bedroom. Heck, they're in love and— _fucking hell!_ Aaaah, Seth! See what you've made me do, now the fucking image's ingrained in my brain!"

"I'm sorry," Seth chuckles as Roman's palms rub his eyes frantically. As if that will help.

"Fuck! This had to happen on my fucking birthday!"

"Oh, stop exaggerating," Seth kisses his man's forehead once, twice, laughing his heart out. "Let me get your presents," dislodging Roman's cock out of his hole, the pregnant man groans, feeling a twitching in his hole. Limping to the en-suite closet, Seth retrieves the wrapped gifts he placed there. Roman saw them but the royal mostly minds his business, it's the reason the gifts are still unopened.

Seth folds his legs, presenting his boyfriend with his birthday gifts, a huge smile on his face. "Thank you, alofagia." Roman kisses his forehead.

"I hope you like them, go ahead…" Seth gestures for Roman to unwrap the gifts. He'd gone overboard a bit when buying his man's gifts. There's a brown Journeyman Rucksack, a Hermès passport holder, a polishing set complete with wax, cream and brushes to keep Roman's shoes looking sharp. He'd chosen a cherrywood color, because he's dating a simplistic man who despises any loud colors. He'd also got a grooming kit and finally a curated tie style box with an assortment of ties that Roman can choose from.

Finding himself on his back, Seth's heart falters in excessive love as he looks into the eyes that are his home. He cups Roman's cheeks, lips parting of their own accord even before the royal can kiss him. He moans, clinging to Roman when the royal enters him again. It's gentle love making, their souls connecting. Seth breathes harshly, heart on the verge of exploding. He kisses Roman's lips softly, sighing against him when the kiss ends.

"I love you," he repeats again.

"I love you too," Roman kisses him once, before his body travels. His lips touch every inch of Seth's face, his neck, his chest. Roman's lips travel to Seth's belly, kissing the concave stomach, they travel to Seth's thighs until they reach his feet before they travel back up again. "I love all of you, Seth."

"Me too, daddy. We should get probably get ready. My appointment's at noon." Walking to the bathroom on vibrating legs, Seth starts the shower. He rinses his and Roman's toothbrushes, knowing the man will join him soon. The door opens as he's spitting the peppermint foam out of his mouth. Roman stands behind him, kisses his back before standing next to him to take care of his oral hygiene too.

In the shower, Seth gives Roman the body wash, wordlessly instructing the royal to bathe him. Roman, of course, doesn't complain. In fact the man has a Cheshire cat smile on his face. Seth rolls his eyes, one of Roman's favorite things to do is to wash his body. For obvious reasons.

"Don't you dare," Seth warns the royal bastard when he gets to his pecs. Roman's fascinated by his chest area, probably because of how swollen nipples are. Dr. Baldwin told him he'll be able to breastfeed his babies which explains the swelling. And Seth prefers it that way if he's being honest, but he hates how painful they can get. He always has to reprimand Roman when he gets too friendly with them.

"Aye, no troublemakers here," Roman lifts his hands in a surrendering gesture. The boyish grin on his face melts Seth's heart.

"I think I'll need to buy new underwear too," Seth tells Roman in the bedroom. After breakfast, Roman's taking him shopping for a few clothes. Most of his pants no longer fit him but thankfully he has those sweatpants he bought two weeks ago. He's wearing Roman's Game of Thrones sweater, it hides his bump perfectly but there's always the bonus of smelling like his man.

Roman helps him tie his shoe laces even though Seth thinks it's unnecessary, he can still do that for himself. But he has an uptight royal for a boyfriend. An overbearing one who has become more protective, and pesters him like a flea. Seriously, it's very rare that Seth catches a break. He's dealing with a man overly obsessed with him, worse than before now that he's pregnant.

Seth ties Roman's hair, like he always does when he gets the chance. After they both rinse their hands, they descend the stairs for the breakfast room. Lively chatter fills the room even before they can meet anyone. Samoan is spoken daily now that Roman's parents are here. They've been staying with them for the past two days.

Seth hides in their bedroom when Roman's not at home. But Roman's mom, Mama, she always comes to him. Talks to him, tells him stories about Roman as a youngster. It's the King that he hasn't spoken to that much. The humble but intimidating man has been leaving with Roman to the office since they arrived. But they have supper together and they've spoken briefly. King Sika is a nice man, he's just like Roman in many things. He's as kind, a true humanitarian, like his son.

Roman greets first, in Samoan. And Seth issues a quiet, "Good morning," his right hand clinging to Roman's arm.

Everyone returns the greeting enthusiastically, even Bobby and Manuia are present today. It's a full house, full of lively chatter and laughs. "How did you sleep, Seth?"

"Not so bad, Mama." Seth clears his throat, grabbing the mango juice carton. He pours himself a glass while waiting for Masina to come with the food. If only she'd come quicker, he's starving.

"Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you—," a smile tugs at Seth's lips when Manuia begins singing happy birthday to Roman. Everyone joins in on it, despite Roman's clear annoyance. Seth chuckles when Roman makes a sign of a gunshot to his head and then pretends to fall off his chair. "How old are you now?"

"Forget it," Roman growls. "I'm not a child."

"You're my child," Mama's smile is intoxicating.

Roman looks at his mother, talking to her in Italian. He appears to be begging, but he resembles a little kid that Seth can't help the fluttering in his stomach. Roman's cute, sometimes he doesn't notice it but he behaves so childishly.

"No morning sickness today Seth?"

Manuia's voice is teasing, it has Seth's eyes widening in horror. "Oh god! Please no."

Laughter fills their table, "Manuia, don't do that. Look at him, the poor boy looks ready to faint," Mama nods to him. "Just wait until you're preg—"

"I'm not a—carrier!" Manuia's too quick to say the words, he clears his throat right after. "Besides, I don't want kids. They're—horrifying."

Everyone laughs at his words, everyone except the owner of the words and his boyfriend. Seth himself can't laugh, not with the pained looks on Manuia and Bobby's faces. "Mama…" he decides it's best if they had a change of topic. "I…didn't get a chance to thank you. Roman told me you'd be able to attend my graduation two weeks from now."

"I wouldn't miss it for the world, Seth. It's a pity I'll have to leave right after."

"It's okay, even if it's a few minutes."

"I think I will come too, with my wife. I'll delegate any important meetings to the twins' father."

Roman's dad says something for the first time today, he can be really quiet when he wants to. Seth thinks that's where Roman gets the trait from. "T-Thank you, Sir." He stammers, Roman's father still intimidates the fuck out of him.

The majestic man nods his head once. "You've worked hard to get where you are. It would be a pity to miss your graduation, consort."

"We're all very proud of you,"

Seth gets on a grin on his face, it's amazing how through the man he loves, he's gained such a large family. People who love him, genuinely, with no ulterior motives. Roman's family loves him for him. And sometimes he thinks he doesn't deserve it, because of his past but he's been trying to move past that. He is moving past it, since he forgave Katherine, he's been working on himself too. On his self-love and inner peace.

"You know Seth, the last time we had quadruplets in this family was a hundred years ago. My great grandfather told the story of our ancestor Siaosi who left Tonga for Samoa. He prospered in Samoa, acquired so much wealth that the neighboring kings grew jealous. Sensing the tension, he migrated to what is now Lanuola. He started our country from the ground, built the Lanuolan empire. At 40, he was the richest king in Oceania. Now bear in mind that he'd been married for over fifteen years by then. But his wife couldn't bear any children. Siaosi grew agitated, the years were slipping by and still no heir to the throne."

"At fifty, one of his advisors suggested he see a witchdoctor. He should have had one anyway, it's always been that way with Kings. Aside from the advisor, we have a witchdoctor too. They advise us on the things us mere humans can't see. What we can't understand. Because they connect with the spirit world. It took them one year to find a true witchdoctor, true in her character and her medicine. And my ancestor Siaosi, he found out that our ancestors were preventing him from being with child."

"It's a tradition, amongst our people, to thank our ancestors for our fortune and goodwill. Which is why I still go to Tonga where my ancestors came from to give thanks. Siaosi hadn't been home, our real home in over 20 years. He wouldn't get a child until he returned home, his real home. To give thanks, and to acknowledge that his goodwill and fortune was because of our ancestors."

"There is a saying back home. 'You ask for one and the ancestors multiply'. It comes from when Siaosi finally went home. He asked for one son, just one. And when he went back to Lanuola, his wife did get pregnant. But she bore three more babies—quadruplets. It's been like that every hundred years. I remember not believing my great grandfather…as a youngster." King Sika gets a smile, one Seth thinks is of awe and disbelief. "But now…I think there's truth to his words. This can't be a coincidence."

"Uh, wow…" Seth looks at Roman, who also has a smile on his face. "So I guess we need to go to Tonga too. To t-thank them, the ancestors?"

"We go as a family, in December. I think you'll just have given birth?"

"Yes."

"Then you and Roman will remain behind. The rest of the family will go on your behalf."

Seth nods his head. "I understand, Sir."

At eight, they leave the house. Roman's parents remain behind because they have to meet up with the rest of the family to discuss Roman's birthday. Seth enters the new Maserati Levante that came home about a week ago. It's beautiful, lovely in it's onyx color and Seth isn't even going to get started on the interior and it's unique elegance.

"Where are we going again?" Roman asks.

"Shopping, retail therapy. I'm fat and I need looser clothing," a sigh leaves Seth, he rests his head against the window, feeling irritated all of a sudden. "You jackass, it's because of you that I'm like this."

"I'm sorry."

It's all Roman ever says, and he never sounds genuinely sorry. "Keep driving. And put _my_ music on. These babies are tired of listening to jazz every fucking day."

Seth's never enjoyed too much shopping, he usually visits three stores max. But now…he doesn't know what's changed, maybe it's pregnancy fever. Because he drags Roman to one store after the other, scanning items and changing his mind on buying them. He can sense Roman's annoyance but can't bring himself to care. It's the last two stores he enters where he finds things he remotely likes. Seth grabs a maternity pajama set, a couple of workout-friendly pregnancy tank tops. He finds a grey t-shirt that says 'Blaming it on the Mom brain', takes it and a few stretchy pants.

He takes mercy on Roman, helps him carry a few bags when they get back to the car. The drive to Dr. Baldwin is quiet, he's exhausted himself and all he wants to do is sleep. So he does exactly that, with his hand in Roman's the entire ride there.

They greet Nia when they enter the hospital. She accompanies them to the OB/GYN office. "You're so gorgeous baby, you wear pregnant really well. I'm sure you're showing now."

Knowing what Nia is getting at, Seth lifts his sweater, revealing his tiny bump to Nia. In her excitement, the curvy doctor attempts to touch his belly but Seth backtracks before she can do that. "I-I'm sorry," he stammers. "I'm just not…comfortable."

"I understand, baby. I shouldn't have even done that, not without your permission. I'm sorry, okay?"

Seth nods, grateful that she understands. He's really not comfortable with anyone touching his belly. No except himself and Roman are allowed to. And his OBs because he has no choice. Maybe it's paranoia but he can't help it. He's been feeling that way a lot lately. "Thank you, Nia."

The door opens, revealing his OB/GYN. Nia bids them farewell while Dr. Baldwin sets everything up. Seth makes himself comfortable on the examination table, giving his sweater to Roman. The expression on his boyfriend's face brings nothing but warmth to Seth. Roman resembles a child on Christmas morning. His brown eyes sparkle lighter than Seth's ever seen them. Even with his set face, his eyes betray him.

"Alright," Dr. Baldwin breaks his attention away from Roman. "Afternoon, Mr. Reigns. Mr. Rollins—"

"Anoa'i," Roman corrects, politely at least so Seth won't wring his neck. "Both of us."

"Oh, my apologies," Dr. Baldwin chuckles, "I didn't know."

"It's fine."

"How've you been, Seth? Any queries?"

Seth shakes his head no, barely wincing as the cold gel touches his skin. "I just feel big, it hasn't even been that long. I read on the internet the other day—my babies are as big as a strawberry?"

Dr. Baldwin laughs, "A strawberry measuring around 1.2 inches. And the good news are…their body length will almost double in the next three weeks!"

Seth moans exaggeratedly, "I'll be a whale!"

"A very beautiful whale," Roman kisses his forehead.

"Don't sweet talk me. You're making me angrier."

Seth shakes his head in amusement as his prick of a boyfriend laughs with Dr. Baldwin. "And okay, let's begin and see how these little ones are doing shall we?"

The process is the same as the last time, Dr. Baldwin takes a bunch of measurements, checking if everything is still going okay with the babies. Seth doesn't think he'll ever get over the excitement he feels when looking at the sonogram, it's always surreal to him. That he's carrying four lives inside him. Dr. Baldwin shows them all of the babies, how well they're developing. The sonogram even reveals one of the twins sucking on their thumb.

But his boyfriend steals the spotlight in terms of excitement. Seth looks at Roman through teary eyes, the royal laughs like a little kid at the flickers on the screen. His eyes remain rooted to the screen, not wanting to miss a single thing. He asks so many questions. Why are the babies' foreheads so big? Why are they so curled up? Will they be able to hear him when he talks to them? Aren't they cramped at all being stuck in Seth's belly?

Seth chuckles softly, pitying the greying doctor who has to answer question after question after question.

"They look like little aliens or…prawns." Roman says when they're in the car, driving to a pizzeria not too far from home.

"You're comparing our babies to…aliens? Prawns…?"

"They're all curled up," Roman's awe can't be hidden. "Like prawns. Our beautiful little alien prawns."

"Roman Leati Joseph Anoa'i…damn, your name is so long. If you start calling our babies alien prawns—" Seth warns.

"We're having four little alien prawns," the prick says smugly.

Seth rolls his eyes. "I don't know why I bother. Drive faster, we're hungry." Stone Temple's 'Interstate Love Song' fills the car, Seth cranks the volume up. He grins when Roman joins in on the singing. The royal even nods his head to the song, he has a great voice. It's a pity Seth can't say the same for himself.

He gets video-called by Dean just as they settle in their booth. It's secluded, the only one on the second level which apparently is utilized by the manager only. But Roman and the man are friends, the perks of knowing people in high places…restaurants.

"Why are you so…round?"

Dean doesn't even bother with standard greetings, those are his first words to him when Seth accepts his call. "Is that what you call it these days? Round?"

"Why are you so fat?"

Seth rolls his eyes, "Because I'm happy and well taken care of. Because life couldn't be better and I'm so happy. Did I mention that I'm very, very happy?"

"About fifty thousand times," Dean sticks his tongue out at him, making Seth release a small chuckle. "Where's your hot as fuck future baby daddy? I saw that it's his birthday today. I hoped you choked on and rode that eleven inch dick like a pro, Seth. We can't be having our dear RoRo starving on his birthday."

"Dean! What the fuck?!" Seth's skin heats up, he looks up briefly as his boyfriend walks towards their booth with two pizza boxes and two litters of lemonade. "I'm in public, you can't say things like that!"

"What'd I say?" Dean shrugs. "I'm just saying, it's Roman's birthday. I want you to climb him, ride the fuck out of his dick. Suck on it. Do splits while bouncing on it. Dance on it. Twerk on it. Worship it, ya know? _It's_ _eleven fucking inches of perfect dick._ It deserves to be—"

"Hello, Dean."

Roman sits next to him, Seth thinks his skin resembles the color of tomatoes. He feels too hot all of a sudden, too suffocated. Thanks to his friend, and that untrained mouth of his.

"Hey, RoRo."

Shrugging his shoulders at his boyfriend whose eyebrow is raised in amused curiosity, Seth turns his attention to Dean. "You guys are still coming, right? My graduation?"

"You know we are."

"Where is Xavier?"

"Resting at home most likely," Dean shrugs. "He's always exhausted. If he's not at the club, he's practicing a new dance routine. I don't know why, his school's already closed."

"Maybe I should talk to him," the pizza that was going to his mouth is placed back to the box at Dean's words. A part of him is worried for Xavier. He looks very different lately.

"Maybe you should. He opens up easier to you."

Their conversation continues for ten more minutes with Dean intent on embarrassing him in front of Roman. The royal takes everything in stride, apparently Dean having no filter is funny to him. Dean wishes him a happy birthday before their call ends.

Seth video calls Xavier right after. The young man is in Randy's arms when he answers. He looks exhausted, like Dean had said. Burdened too, like someone carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. Seth's eyes water, he wants to cry but forces himself not to. Maybe Xavier is just exhausted, and he can't really ask him if anything is the matter with their boyfriends in their presence.

"I'm worried about Xavier," Seth confides in Roman on their ride back home.

"Oh?"

"Mhm. Didn't he look different to you? Tired?"

Roman spares him a brief glance when he stops at a red light. "No. But maybe because I haven't known him that long, I can't really tell when he's different."

"Maybe," Seth sighs leaning against the window. "I wanted to ask if he's okay but I couldn't exactly do that with you and his cold boyfriend invading our privacy."

"I would've moved if you asked."

"I know. But Randy wouldn't have. He's worse than you when it comes to overbearing."

"It's protecting."

"That's _your_ definition. I'll call him again tomorrow, have a talk with him. I miss him and I feel like he needs me. He has no one else to confide in. Dean's advises are…I won't even start with him."

Roman chuckles lowly, while shaking his head. "He'll be here in two weeks. Speak to him then, find out what's troubling him."

"You're right daddy," Seth grabs Roman's hand to kiss his knuckles.

"Aren't I always?"

"I'll let you slide, it's your birthday today."

It's a little after four when they make it home. Roman's party is at six so Seth leaves Roman to chat excitedly with his parents while he goes to rest in their bedroom. It isn't long that he hears the bedroom door open, and Roman's drawer open. The royal must be placing the sonogram pictures safely.

The other ones they've been getting have been enlarged and framed in their bedroom while a few copies were made for Roman's family. Seth leans into Roman when the royal wraps his arms around him. His man's lips touch the back of his neck and then his temple. Seth's breathing evens out eventually, darkness stealing the spotlight.

***

"Beautiful as always," Seth meets Roman's eyes on the full body mirror. They tell him no lies, all he finds in them is warmth and love.

"Thank you," he turns, smoothing out Roman's black sweater. "You're handsome too, as always," leaning up to kiss Roman's lips, Seth smiles against them. "I hope your parents won't be too mad we're not abiding to the formal dress code."

Roman shakes his head no, "It's not that strict a formal event anyway." The royal's hand settles at the small of his back, confident, claiming. Seth faces Roman in curiosity when the man prevents him from taking another step. "Thank you, alofagia. For the best birthday gift ever. You've made me the happiest man on earth, Seth." Roman's eyes are scintillating, he's a celestial god with his breathtaking smile.

"It's not like you gave me a choice," Seth teases. "All it took was two days. Just two of giving myself to you and look at me now."

"Don't inflate my ego, Seth Rollins. It's increasing faster than the inflation rate."

"Oh no, we can't have that. You're already so cocky." Seth kisses a chuckling Roman's cheek as the royal guides them to the Maserati Levante. "I hope your party won't take too long, daddy. We still have our own private party waiting for us back home." Seth whispers against Roman's lips suggestively.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," Seth confirms, he deepens the kiss. "I got skimpy lace underwear…in red. Tonight, I'm at your service—whatever you want. _Anything_ you want, I'll do."

Roman's loud groan dominates the car, his knuckles turn ashen white with how hard he's gripping the steering wheel. "Let's just go back home. Screw the party."

"I don't want to get on your parents' wrong side," Seth laughs softly.

"We're staying for an hour and then we're going back home," Roman's tone offers no room for argument, not that Seth will argue with that. His hole is already twitching in need.

"Whatever you want, daddy."

Seth ends up snoozing on the way to the hotel where Roman's party is being hosted. He's always exhausted, it doesn't matter how many naps he takes throughout the day. The sound of a door closing startles him awake, he removes his seatbelt waiting for Roman to get to his side. "Thank you," he accepts Roman's offered hand, smiling when the royal kisses his temple.

"Wow, everything's so beautiful."

Roman's family booked a plush ballroom at a five star hotel in downtown Miami. The room, elegant in it's décor, accommodates up to a hundred people. But only Roman's closest friends and family are available, making the number of about forty people. There's a section reserved for the food, an array of scrumptious meals prepared by the hotel's top chef. And there's an open bar for the guests to binge on an assortment of alcohol.

"There's Jey…" Seth tugs at Roman's hand, pointing towards his boyfriend's cousin. "He came with...Velveteen Dream?"

"I think he's found what he's looking for. They've been together for quite a while."

"Wow…"

Seth pouts as his boyfriend's dragged away from him, by a guy who is apparently one of Roman's great friends. He's good looking, with long curled hair and a body to die for. But he's still not as hot as Roman though, and maybe it's his biasness speaking but Seth can't bring himself to care. Tama Tonga is the man's name, and Seth watches him with tears in his eyes as he drags Roman from one group of people to the other.

"You look like you'll cry any minute."

Naomi's voice captures Seth's attention. "That man," Seth points to Roman's enthusiastic friend. "He's taken my boyfriend from me and taking him everywhere."

"He's right in your sight, boo thang. He's not going anywhere."

"I know that," Seth frowns, chewing on his bottom lip. "I just want him here, with me. I can't help it, the whining." He smiles shakily at Naomi, "Hormones."

"Totally understandable," Naomi drags him to the dancefloor, despite his weak protests. Seth moves with her, moving his body to the catchy song, it's Bruno Mars, he thinks. "I was very emotional in the first trimester too. I was a tad on the crazy side though, I'd cry so hard I thought I was going insane. And then I'd cry again because of that."

"I don't want that Naomi. I want it to stop, the other day I broke down over a Huggies commercial."

"Damn…" Seth can tell Naomi's trying to hold back her fits of laughter but she crumbles, guffawing loudly. The irritation bubbling inside him threatens to spill over but Seth has to remind himself to behave. He can't embarrass himself by snapping at Naomi in such a public setting.

"I hate you," he tells the dark skinned woman instead.

"And I love you, to the moon and back," the crushing hug Naomi brings him to is cut short by a large hand touching the small of his back. Seth knows who it is, he pulls back, giving Naomi a small nod before turning his attention to Roman.

A bright beam lights up his face, "Am I worthy of your attention now?" he asks.

"Always."

"Could've fooled me," Seth rolls his eyes, smile faltering at Roman's intense gaze. He parts his lips, moaning as Roman closes the gap between their lips. Everything ceases to exist, Seth wraps his arms around Roman's neck, knees almost buckling as he melts completely against his boyfriend. He distantly hears cheerful wolf-whistling and roars. "Your cousins are fools," Seth giggles against Roman's lips.

Jimmy and Jey's chants are loud. Seth heard one of the twins yell, "Yes, that's my boy! Eat the hell out of those lips!"

"You didn't know? Those are their second names," Roman guides them to their table when everyone is called to their seats. The twins share the responsibility of being MC and Seth can't say he's surprised really. Those two know how to work the crowd, they know how to make people feel at ease. Seth laughs until his ribs hurt, ugly tears falling down his cheeks.

And then the tears rain down harder when Roman's family and friends take the podium. He nervously takes to the podium too, to talk about his boyfriend. Eyes locked on Roman the entire time, Seth tells nothing but the truth. He speaks of his love for the royal, and how much he means to him. He's crying again when he leaves the stage. _Bloody hormones!_

A large screen in the hall plays a video compilation from Roman's people, the Lanuolans. They are vibrant, full of life, of kindness, of love as they speak in Samoan wishing the prince a happy birthday. Seth entwines his and Roman's hands, imperfectly humming to the Samoan songs sung by the Lanuolans. It's all very beautiful to him, how Roman seems so favored amongst his people. It's because he's a people person the King tells everyone after the video's ended.

Seth gives Roman's relatives space to interact with him after the video ends. The party's in full swing and they should've left about an hour ago but everyone is having fun so he figures he can't really be mad that he can't have Roman all to himself. Roman told him a while back, that being with him means sharing. Seth is sharing him with his family, his friends, his people. He's sharing his boyfriend with the rest of the world because Roman's purpose is to serve and sometimes the people come first.

He slips through the patio door, tucking loose strands of brown hair being whipped by the cool night air. The loud chatter going on inside has Seth glancing over his shoulder briefly. His eyes easily find Roman, he thinks he'd find the man in an overly crowded place just as easily—it's the pull that he has no way of stopping.

It's the reason that Roman's eyes find him too, sparking a staring contest between the two of them. Seth observes him talk with his family, Roman's eyes are twinkling. Happiness seems to be his name, with that beautiful smile of his lighting up the entire room. There's a tiny crowd with him, and Seth notes how they all listen whenever he utters a word, despite him speaking sparingly.

Deciding to finally turn away, Seth appreciates the beauty of the night. Maybe Roman really is a celestial creature because everything looks so beautiful—surreal almost. From the gentle breeze, to the small chirping of the birds in the distance. He won't even get started on how gorgeous the dark skies are, with the twinkling gold specks scattered all over them.

A shiver runs down his spine, Roman's presence overwhelming him. Seth lets out a small breath, not once turning to face his boyfriend. He's already leaning into Roman as the royal's hands enfold around his middle. Seth closes his eyes, feeling utterly loved, resting his hands on top of Roman's. A kiss touches the back of his head, quietness falling between himself and Roman.

"Once upon a time, I didn't think I'd make it to 27," Roman whispers into his ear.

His words cause Seth's heart to crumble, they bring a wrenching pain to Seth's chest. He forces himself not to cry, but the implication of Roman's words hang heavily in the air. "O-Oh?" Seth winces when his voice cracks.

"Long time ago. But I'm here, and I'm thankful. I have everything I could have ever wanted."

Roman's words are said evasively, Seth knows it. But he's not going to venture into that topic tonight, not on Roman's birthday. Maybe one day, he'll ask more but tonight they're celebrating. The fact that Roman's still here and that he's loved. By his family, his friends, his people. That he's loved by him.

Seth turns in the royal's arms, meeting the eyes that have the ability to swallow galaxies. "Well I'm glad you're here, with me. I'm thankful that you're here too. And with you here, I have everything I could have ever wanted too. Well not really because I never allowed myself to want this—a relationship, a family…love. But I have it now, thanks to you. And for that I'm so grateful Roman, I love you more than you could ever know."

"I love you too, alofagia."

Roman captures his lips in a soft kiss, it floods Seth with warmth, sends 1000 watts of electricity to his body. "How did you like your birthday?"

"Family and friends were here, it was great," Roman shrugs, mischief dances in his brown pools. Seth is already smiling even before Roman can speak again, he knows exactly what the royal will say. "But I think I'm tired, all that partying. How's about we go home? So I can have my other party before I die of exhaustion."

"I don't know…. Are you sure you're ready for that party? You do look on the verge of passing out."

"How about we go home so I can show you how ready I am for that party. I'll fuck you until _you_ pass out," the royal bastard has a smug grin on his face. "And that's a promise."

"Let's go then," Seth shakes his head amusedly.

Roman keeps him trapped against the balcony, his penetrating gaze forcing Seth to part his lips for an intake of air. Slowly, Roman's lips stretch into a grin that lights up Seth's whole world. "I love, love you."

"I love, love you too. It simply can't be quantified," Seth returns, leaning up to meet Roman's lips for a tender filled kiss. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, so much angst was supposed to follow in a couple of chapters. I'll try to tone it down, but be prepared. Thoughts?


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello :). 
> 
> I'm sorry for the silence, but I'm still writing my exams. Also, this is so long-sorry. Thank you for reading!

Seth rolls his yoga mat, returning it to the closet storing the colorful mats. He’s done his prenatal yoga a bit earlier than usual today. Mostly because the babies were getting a kick out of sending him to the bathroom every ten minutes until he gave up on trying to go back to sleep. And then there’s the aches he felt in his abdomen that began yesterday. The sensations are downright painful, and Seth is thankful that Roman had been home to help him yesterday.

His boyfriend had called Dr. Baldwin, who helped determine the source of pain. Seth had answered a bunch of questions from his OB, who then determined he’s experiencing round ligament pain. It’s a pretty common pregnancy symptom during the tenth week apparently. Dr. Baldwin told him that the sensations would be more noticeable with him because of the number of babies he’s carrying. Because his abdomen is stretching to accommodate his growing babies. The prenatal yoga seems to help alleviate the pain though. Seth is definitely feeling better than he had when he woke up this morning.

Tantalizing aromas drift in the air as he exits the indoor gym, they reach his growling stomach. You wouldn’t say he had a light meal an hour ago with how ravenous he feels at the moment. Torn between getting some food first and showering, Seth’s feet make the decision for him, directing him towards the stairs. So shower it is then.

He opens the bedroom door quietly in case his boyfriend’s asleep. Yes, Roman’s at home. It’s a Monday, and he should be at work. But Roman told him yesterday that they will spending today together. It’s the 28th of May, the day that he turns a year older.

Seth remembers his last birthday, what he’d wished for when he turned 29. He’d wanted to graduate, and then give back—help those who were victims of their circumstances. That’s all he’d wished for, nothing else, because like he told Roman, never in his wildest dreams had he ever thought he’d have a family, love.

He never allowed himself to want those things. They would’ve been unrealistic dreams and fantasies by a prostitute. It’s been that way for as long as he can remember. And if you told him a year ago that he’d be here—in love with the man of his dreams and expecting their babies, he’d probably have laughed at you until his ribs hurt. Or cussed you to hell and back for mocking him. But here he is—in love and pregnant. And he’s never felt this happy, this content.

Seth’s eyes widen when he takes in the picture in their bedroom. A part of him had been expecting Roman to still be asleep—it’s not even 07:00 yet. But his boyfriend’s anything but asleep. In fact the bed’s made up, all wrong, because Roman can’t tell the beginning from the end. And on the bed sits a tray with a single white rose, a jug of juice and his second favorite breakfast.

Seth’s eyes move away from the bed, finding his half-naked boyfriend. Roman’s in a pair of navy boxers, his lustrous raven hair in disarray all around him—he’s a god with his ethereal beauty. There isn’t an expression on Roman’s face but his eyes—the galaxies would crumble to his will with how beautiful they’re lit up. Roman’s eyes are a rich brown, too invaluable, too mesmerizing. And they look even better as they look at Seth, eyeing him like he’s the stars and the moon.

“Hey…” Seth finally breaks the silence, intense gaze overwhelming him, making him feel like he’s the most beautiful creature on earth. And maybe he is, in Roman’s eyes.

Roman nears him in casual strides bringing a fluttering to his stomach. Seth stays put, clamping down on his bottom lip at Roman’s gaze. “Alofagia…” his boyfriend’s voice is still sleep-roughened. It’s deeper than usual, gravelly—it’s downright sex. Seth isn’t surprised when his skin heats up, in love, in lust...in enchantment. And then the royal bastard gets a smouldering look on his face, making Seth burn hot. Seth clears the lust fog from his mind, laughing softly when Roman waggles his eyebrows suggestively, a playfulness beneath the expression. “Happy birthday.”

Seth accepts the white rose, brushing it up against his nose lightly. “Thank you, Roman.” He leans up, joining his lips against Roman’s softly. “When did you do all this?” he gestures to the bed.

“Not too long ago,” Roman entwines their hands, grabbing the tray with his other hand, making the exit for the balcony. The fresh air whips their skin, the beams of the sun spreading over the forest and the lake in the distance. It’s a beautiful day, much like it was on Roman’s birthday. “I helped make the eggs,” Roman says as he helps Seth into his chair.

“You did really good, baby. Thank you so much,” Seth laughs, eyeing the beautifully decorated plate. He’s having poached eggs on avocado and feta toast, a favorite of his after donuts. “It’s the perfect day for a swim,” he tells Roman halfway through their breakfast. The sparkling blue of the water looks so inviting.

“You’re right, it’s been too long since I fucked you in the pool.”

Ugh….

“I didn’t mean it like that,” he tries to be serious but the smug expression on Roman’s face defeats him, laughter bubbles from deep inside Seth. He fell in love with a dork.

“We’re going somewhere at nine.”

“Oh?”

“Yes.”

Ugh, the fixed answers. Seth rolls his eyes, knows he won’t get a straight answer from the royal bastard. “I saw Masina’s gifts at our door this morning. They’re so lovely, I’ll have to thank her.”

“Better than the Frerot Cognac she got me?”

“Much better,” Seth chuckles at Roman’s childish frown. “I got new training shoes—maternity trainers. And a pregnancy journal. I love them both, but the pregnancy journal is wow. Can’t believe I hadn’t thought to buy it myself.”

“Remind me to thank her too. I'd like to help you record your entries…if you’ll allow me.”

Seth’s eyes water, he tries to wipe the tears away but gives up eventually, he’s always crying anyways. “Sure, Row-man. We can do it together, every night,” the kiss to his knuckles melts him.  

“Thank you.”

After breakfast, Seth retreats to the bedroom. He gives his boyfriend a curious glance when Roman grips his wrist gently. “Your gifts, from me.” Roman explains.

Seth follows Roman outside the bedroom down the stairs to a vacant room on ground level. “ _Roman_ …”  his breath clogs up in his throat, left hand untangling from Roman’s. Seth steps inside the room further, examining it’s beauty. It’s the alluring color of the walls that Seth notices first, a cool sepia color that is most soothing. And then the green plants perfectly decorating each corner of the room, some are artistically placed on the elegant mahogany shelves.

Seth notices the candles on the shelves, different shaped and of various of sizes—some of them encased by different colored lanterns. There are different oils and salts too, all stacking the elegant shelves. This place reminds Seth of a spa resort. With it’s plush cream chaise lounges and pillows. A bamboo massage bed occupies the left corner of the room, near the sliding door leading to the nature outside.

Adjacent to the massage bed is a granite counter, a colored glass mural just above it. The fireplace, situated on the interior wall facing east, has a tall mantel of birchwood. The southeast side of the room is the waiting area, bamboo styled couches are scattered with fluffy white cushions. There’s plenty of equipment in the room to, there’s one Seth thinks is meant for a foot massage. But he can’t be sure because he’s never been to a spa before.

“Happy birthday, alofagia.” _That_ voice almost breaks Seth’s awe, almost. But he’s still in shock, heart beating fast and the tears rolling down his cheeks. Roman’s hands rest on his shoulders, overwhelming him with emotion. “All this is yours, available to you whenever you need. I did a little research on pregnancy, found out about prenatal and pregnancy massages. So this spa…it’s yours. Nia found two massage therapists, at your service whenever you need them.”

“N-No, Row-man, this is too much.” Seth whispers, turning to face his boyfriend. He knows his shock is showing, can’t prevent the tears falling down his cheeks.

Roman draws Seth to him by the back of his neck while the brunet cries against his chest. “You deserve the world, Seth. This is…nothing. You’re too invaluable.”

“I—thank you,” Seth whispers against Roman’s lips. “I still think this is too much, but t-thank you.”

“Anything for you and our babies. You’re all so important to me.”

Seth beams, heart exploding as Roman goes down on one knee, lifting his tank top to kiss his belly. He can’t catch what the royal is whispering to their babies but he can feel Roman smile against his bump before getting up again. “Let’s go,” Seth accepts Roman’s offered hand, exiting his spa resort. Shit! Even that’s weird to say in his mind.

In their bedroom, Seth laughs when he spots the many different sized boxes on the bed. “Baby?” he melts at Roman’s smile…or maybe it’s a frown. It’s a confused frown-smile.

“I didn’t know which one of these things would be more suitable for you. They are pillows,” So it’s a  frown. He can tell that Roman’s not really sold on the idea of these pillows. “Nia says they are pregnancy pillows.”

“I see…” Seth grins as Roman shoves the smaller boxes into his hands. He’s taken back to the better part of that night at Xavier’s.

Roman still has his eyebrows furrowed, he’s reading the benefits of using pregnancy pillows. “—and you buy them according to your sleeping position. You’re mostly a side sleeper but I’ve seen you sleep on your stomach.” Seth is tempted to wipe the frown knitting Roman’s eyebrows away but decides against it. Roman’s adorable like this, in ‘caring boyfriend’ mode but he’s like this all the time…he’s just become more protective now. It’s endearing as it is annoying. “So I got you all the pillows. I don’t why they look so funny though. You know how many designs these things come out in? And why are they so big?” Roman grabs the Babymoov Multiuse Maternity Pillow box, smile-frown on his face. “At least this one’s reasonable on sizing, the internet said it becomes a nursing pillow too. Clever huh?”

“Yes,” Seth chuckles, helping Roman carry the boxes to a vacant space in the closet. “And you’re so thoughtful, we’re so lucky to have you.” He wraps his arms around Roman’s neck, kissing him languidly. Roman fondles his ass, and a tiny smack to his round cheek has Seth laughing softly. “No…” he protests when Roman pulls away from him.

His man returns with a large gift bag, leading Seth to the bed. “These are for you.”

Seth accepts the bag with shaky hands, “What is this? You’ve already given me gifts Roman. I don’t think I can accept anymore.”

“You’re obliged to, Seth Rollins.” Roman says in a stern voice, brokering no room for argument. “The first two gifts will be beneficial for our babies so they are not yours alone. These are yours solely, you are going to accept them.”

“So bossy,” Seth chuckles shakily, wiping away his tears. He sits on the bed, unwrapping his gifts. There’s a wood engraved Game of Thrones music box that he’d been planning to buy himself but Roman’s beat him to it. There’s another Game of Thrones inspired item, a personalized phone stand with his name and birth date on it. Seth smiles through his tears, Roman and him share the same love for Game of Thrones. It’s their favorite, Roman even has the books in his study.

And lastly, Roman bought him two sweaters, a Slipknot band t-shirt and Bvalgari cologne. Seth flings himself in Roman’s arms then, kissing the royal silly. “I love everything,” he whispers against Roman’s lips.

“Good,” Roman looks so mischievous, Seth knows what’s about to follow. He falls on his back, allowing Roman to remove his shorts. He spreads his legs, accommodating the man who belongs in between them. His guttural moan echoes in the room, Roman’s sucking fervently on his nipples. “You ready for what’s coming alofagia?”

 _Fuck yes!_ Seth bites on his bottom lip, readying himself for a hard fucking. He can see the intent clearly in Roman’s eyes, he’s about to fucked through the mattress. “Yes,” he whispers just as Roman’s hand entangles in his hair gripping hard. His legs tremble, Roman's pushing inside him.

Seth’s too sluggish to do anything by the time Roman’s done with him. He’s floating on clouds, it feels like he’s flying. He can feel himself being carried somewhere, he just isn’t sure where to. And he’s drooling, trying futilely to conjure a sensible sentence to ask his capturer where he’s being taken to.

He’s still not quite awake when he feels soft lips touching his neck, “Row-man?” he slurs, resting on a solid chest.

“I’m right here, alofagia.” Seth smiles weakly when he hears his boyfriend’s voice.

“You’ve fucked me senseless,” he entwines his fingers with Roman’s, resting them on his protruding belly. “We love you,” he sighs, tilting his head to the side.

Roman’s eyes are on him, exuberant warmth in them. “I love you too, all five of you.”

“Show us how much,” grinning, Seth grabs the body wash, giving it to an enthusiastic Roman.

They’re done and leaving the house at eight. Seth calls Roman’s mother on the way to their mysterious trip, thanking her and the King for their gift. They got him a necklace, it has a traditional background like most of the gifts he receives from the Lanuolan family. He receives a call from Katherine to wish him a happy birthday. Seth thanks her, conversing with her for about ten minutes. It’s still awkward, but he’s trying and ends up cracking a joke or two here and there.

Seth removes his seatbelt once they’re at their location, he accepts Roman’s offered hand, feeling a kiss touch his temple. Roman holds his hand as they enter the doors of Port Haven Massage. It’s a massage parlor, but Seth doesn’t know what they’re doing here. He gives Roman an inquisitive glance but the royal bastard shrugs.

They meet a woman with porcelain skin, blush tainted cheeks and long sparkling black hair. She’s beautiful, and Seth sees how her eyes fixate on Roman before briefly flickering to him, but they go back to Roman again—checking him out. Her cheeks flush pinker and Seth rolls his eyes. Of course he had to  fall in love with the magnet for attention. It’s a good thing the magnet for attention belongs to him though. This lady can stare all she wants but it’s him who’s getting the love and the attention and the dick at the end of the day.

“Good morning,” it’s Roman who greets first. “We have a booking for nine under Reigns, for Seth Anoa'i Reigns.”

The lady—whose name Seth now knows is Amanda—nods her head but her eyes are nearing on bulging out of her eye sockets. It’s always the same reaction wherever they go. These people know who Roman is but most of them only recognize him after he says his name. Amanda’s eyes find him, Seth thinks he can see envy in crystal blue pools but he can’t be sure.

“Of course, you have an appointment with Mae?” at Roman’s head nod, Amanda leaves her desk, high heels clicking on the polished wooden floors. It still amazes Seth that women can walk in the sharp things. And this Amanda, isn’t she afraid that she could slip with how shiny the floors are? “Alright gentlemen, follow me please.”

Seth follows after the petit woman, Roman in tow. He’s still not sure what they’re doing here to be honest. Wait a minute—at the front desk, Roman had said...

“Roman…” Seth searches his boyfriend’s eyes. “This is all for m-me?”

“Yes, a pregnancy massage. Mae will be one of your masseuses, that is if she gives you great service. I just want to see how you’ll like her.”

“You’re just…” Seth shakes his head, lips stretching into a quivering smile. “You’re…I love you,” he hugs Roman tightly, feeling the man’s steady heartbeat. It’s beautiful, his favorite sound like the sound of their babies’ heartbeats.

“I’ll be in one of the entertainment rooms, they’ll bring you to me when you’re done.”

Seth kisses Roman’s lips, reluctantly parting from him, “Okay.”

Mae comes in fifteen minutes after Roman left and Seth’s changed. The mocha skinned young woman is very kind, lovely in her service as she guides Seth through getting on the massage table correctly. She explains the benefits of prenatal massages, explains that she’ll take an hour working on his body and to speak up if he feels uncomfortable.

Seth leaves his session feeling completely serene, body and mind. Mae is a professional and throughout the session, Seth had felt the young woman send positivity to him which in turn extends to the babies. He’d been reluctant when she reached his belly, but Mae explained the benefits of working his stomach calmly and he gave in the end. Seth feels he can trust her, she exudes warmth and kindness.

“Roman?” he calls out to his man as he enters the room that Roman is waiting in. Roman’s calm brown eyes find him, the corners of his lips lifting. “I’m done, we can leave,” Seth leans up to kiss Roman.

“How was it?”

“I feel amazing, she’s great.”

“So you’re keeping her?”

“Yes, I am. Although I still can’t believe you did that,” Seth shakes his head, buckling in his seatbelt as Roman closes his door for him. He waits until the royal reaches the driver’s side. “But thank you.”

“Anything for you, alofagia,” Roman pulls out of Port Haven Massage’s parking lot. “I got a call from Naomi, I’m to take you to a location not too far from here. She’s with my cousins, and I’ve been bullied into leaving you with them for the rest of the afternoon.”

Seth chuckles, “What do they want with me?”

“To celebrate your birthday.”

“I just hope they don’t have anything dramatic planned. All of your cousins are a handful,” Seth leans his head against the window, grinning to himself. He usually spends time with Naomi but he’s hung out with Nia too and that’s always bad. It’s double trouble, he always ends up doing things he doesn’t want to.

“Guess you’ll find out.”

Seth nods his head, scrolling through his phone. He has a missed call from Elias. “Why didn’t you answer?” he asks Roman, lifting his phone so the royal can see it.

Roman’s eyes snap to the phone and then back to the road, “He hung up before I could. Didn’t call again.”

“I better call him, maybe he wants to hang out.”

“Tomorrow, not today.”

Seth nods his head, calling his hipster friend. A smile spreads his lips at Elias’, “Happy birthday, pretty boy.” He rolls his eyes at the nickname though. Elias can’t seem to get it through his skull that Seth isn’t a boy. And the pretty part is debatable on his part, but Roman seems to think he’s pretty too. The conversation with Elias lasts for five minutes before the hipster lets him go with the promise of hanging out tomorrow.

“We’re here.” Roman exits the car going to Seth’s side.

“Thank you,” Seth thanks the man who never allows him to open his own door. “There are your cousins there. Look at them, they look like gossips.” Seth rolls his eyes, so he’s spending the day with Naomi, Nia and Tamina today. Excitement bubbles inside him when he notices that their location is a zoo.

“Hey guys,” he greets, letting go of Roman’s hand to accept hugs from all the women.

“Happy birthday, boo thang.” Naomi kisses his cheek.

“Thanks Naomi,” Seth says, leaving her embrace to hug Nia and then Tamina. “I guess I’ll call you…? Once we’re done here,” Seth looks at Roman for confirmation.

“Alright,” kissing Roman floods him with warmth. The kisses last longer than they should, too long for such a public setting. What with these people loving to minding their business. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Seth returns. He snatches Roman’s cap off his head, running away while shouting, “You’re so considerate!” he can see Roman’s surprise morph into mild annoyance. “Don’t be mad, I love you.” Seth chortles with Roman’s cousins, watching his boyfriend walk away.

The zoo they’re at is the Zoological Wildlife Foundation. Seth falls in love as soon as they enter. He’s not even bothered when Naomi tells him that they will be here on a three hour tour to see every animal in the zoo. Their tour guide is knowledgeable on all of the animals, and Seth can tell that all the animals are well taken care of. He observes the animals interact with their tour guide, it’s visible that they love the woman whose name is Ruby.

And then they’re also given the chance to interact with the animals. Seth interacts with a Golden Tabby Bengal Tiger, a black Jaguar, Capuchin monkey and so many other animals. He’s worn himself out after the tour ends but his heart's filled with joy. He’s smiling so hard as Naomi drives them to a nearby restaurant.

“That was so amazing! Thank you so much you guys,” Seth tells the occupants in the car. “You have no idea how much I love animals.”

“Well, we’re happy you enjoyed it baby,” Nia grins.

“It was Roman’s idea to take you here actually,” Tamina speaks up, her eyes sparkling.

Seth’s not going to cry, he refuses. But he has a boyfriend who enjoys doing all these things that turn him into a pile of goo. It’s not good, especially now because of these damn pregnancy hormones. “He’s doing too much,” Seth bites on his lip.

“Why don’t you go inside with Nia? We’ll catch up with you,” Naomi says when they reach the eatery. Seth complies, following Nia inside the restaurant.

A waitress guides them to their table, they place their drink orders before the waitress leaves. “You look really beautiful baby. You’re glowing.”

Seth smiles at the compliment, “Thank you, Nia. I got the babies to thank.”

“Maybe,” Nia laughs, “I just think they enhanced your beauty. Also, I didn’t get a chance to ask you…how did your appointment go with Dr. Baldwin?”

“Great, the babies are doing good. I’ll show you the ultrasound pictures the next time you visit.”

The waitress comes back with their drinks just as Naomi and Tamina settle on their chairs. They have a number of wrapped gifts that they place on the ground next to their chairs. The waitress leaves again after she takes their orders. “Roman told me you helped choose the masseuses for the massage parlor, thank you.” Seth tells Nia, taking a sip of his cranberry juice.

“It was nothing, I’m surprised he pulled it off without you noticing a single thing.”

“I feel like that’s your fault,” Seth throws Naomi an accusatory glance. “You’ve been forcing me to spend way too much time with you lately.”

“Guilty as charged,” Naomi laughs. “But you love it, don’t you? Roman showed me the pictures, it’s really beautiful.”

“I do,” Seth admits. “It’s perfect, I just can’t believe he did that. He’s…something else.”

“Roman’s been this way for as long as I can remember,” Tamina shakes her head in amusement. “When he cares, he does it with everything in him. It was the same with Tyler, and then Nikki and now you.”

“Nikki…that’s John’s girlfriend?”

“Mhm, she dated Roman before John.”

Seth nods his head, stabbing his fork into his Chicken Cesar Salad. He remembers Manuia telling him that Roman’s ex-partner hadn’t lasted a month in their relationship. Guess it was this Nikki woman then. He wonders how Roman feels about John dating his ex. Maybe he’s not too bothered, the man is still working for him after all. Or maybe Roman’s the kind of man who can separate business from personal matters.  

“Well, I’m glad they’re not together. He’s mine now,” the words leave Seth unconsciously. He looks up to find three pairs of eyes staring at him amusedly. “What?” he shrugs.

“Nothing, I just think you’re a better match for him too,” it’s Tamina who says the words with a smile on her steel face.

“I said that out loud, didn’t I?” the table breaks into guffaws.

“I agree with Tamina. Nikki was too…materialistic for someone like Roman. Don’t get me wrong, there’s totally nothing wrong with that—to each his own. But Roman’s so simplistic, he’s not all glitz and glamour. Sure, he’ll do things for you to show his love but he’s not materialistic. They were too different,” Naomi says.

“I see…”

“Anyway, enough about talk about past relationships,” Nia picks up the wrapped boxes off the ground. “We bought you a few things. I hope you’ll like them.”

“Uh, t-thank you,” Seth clears the emotion out of his throat, blinking the wetness out of his eyes.

“It’s a pleasure, you can open them at home.”

At three, Roman fetches him for the trip back home. Seth hugs Roman’s family members, exchanging parting words before leaving with his boyfriend. He speaks to Xavier and Dean on the way home, although he’d spoken to both of them at midnight when they called to send him well wishes. They’re excited as ever about the trip to Miami and Seth thinks Xavier sounds better. His voice sounds lighter but he can’t be sure until he sees for himself—in two weeks.

“You still up for that swim you wanted earlier?” Roman asks when they enter the house.

Seth hums affirmative, even though he’s tired. But he’s overheated too and spending the day outdoors will do him some good. He changes into a pair of white swim shorts, waiting for Roman to change too. After his boyfriend’s slipped on his black trunks they descend the stairs for the nearest patio behind the house.

“Sunscreen?”

“Go ahead,” Seth grins, moaning blissfully as Roman lathers his skin. He rewards Roman with a kiss in the end, and makes himself comfortable on the plush chaise lounge chair. A content sigh slips past his lips as the fans attached to the pergola cool his volcanic body.

The sound of music reaches his ears making things perfect. Well almost, the only thing missing is a drink. He’s dating a celestial creature who can read minds because Roman’s gruff, “You want something to drink?” has him sliding up his sunglasses briefly to give Roman a grateful expression.

Seth appreciates the view when Roman comes back from the patio bar, two litter bottle of lemonade in hand. “You know me so well,” he smiles, kissing Roman’s lips. Water, mango juice and lemonade seem to be his favorite drinks lately.

Roman drags him to the pool a little while later, Seth doesn’t try to fight him much even though he’d been on the verge of sleeping. He swims around, gets fucked until he can’t feel his legs and spends the rest of his afternoon lazying around with Roman. He’s happy, content—he’s never enjoyed his birthday more.

They go back inside to prepare for dinner around five. Seth slips on a pair of sweatpants, abiding Roman’s instruction to slip on a bomber jacket over his t-shirt. He ties his hair into a messy bun, holding onto Roman when they descend the stairs for the dining room. Bobby and Manuia are in the dining room, looking all loved up.

“What’s going on?” Seth asks.

“Nothing,” Manuia hugs him. “We’re just having dinner a little differently today.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah,” Manuia smiles. “Now let’s go, I’m starving.”

Seth complies, hand finding Roman’s again as they make an exit through the back leading to the manicured landscape. Roman’s house is huge, it opens up to a forest that has two stone bridges and trails. It includes so many things—tennis courts, a basketball court, a large open meadow, there are ponds and a meandering creek. But Seth’s never explored the place fully. He usually just stays nearby, goes for a swim and walks around but never too far into the wooded area.

But he has no choice today, as he follows three big men through a trail surrounded by candles burning an enchanting orange. Seth’s heart is beating hard against his chest with each crunch of the grass beneath him. His stomach feels funny too—it feels like a twisting tornado is going on in there.

Seth releases his a quiet breath, squeezing Roman’s hand when they reach their location. He’s taken back to the night of his and Roman’s first month anniversary. Seth had no idea how beautiful these forests are, even though he’s been living with Roman for nearly five months.

A table big enough for four sits beneath a large oak tree. Draped by a white table cloth, there are four wine glasses closed around a lampstand burning with white candles. Three rectangular lanterns sit near one of the chairs to illuminate their surroundings. So they’re having a candlelight dinner.

The scenery merges perfectly with the perfect night. It’s a beautiful night, a deep blue painting the skies with the full silver moon swimming in the lake five meters away from them. The fresh breeze is so calming and Seth swears the stars are winking tonight. It feels like they’re shining for him. Seth turns to face the man responsible for this, body heating up in warmth and love.

“Why are you so…perfect?” Seth chews on his bottom lip, folding his arms around Roman’s neck. He can feel the tears brimming in his eyes, and forces himself not to. Not in front of Manuia and Bobby.

“I’m not perfect, Seth. I just love seeing you happy.”

“And crying, you love my tears,” Seth chuckles at Roman’s eye roll. The royal rarely does that, he leans more towards raising his eyebrows than anything.

“Only when they’re of joy.”

“Psh, you know just what to say,” he kisses Roman’s lips softly for a very long time, releasing all the good he’s feeling towards his boyfriend. “I really love you, Roman.”

“The feeling’s mutual,” Roman’s lips touch his forehead—gently, possessively. “Let’s get settled, shall we?”

“Finally,” Manuia quips playfully.

They have a five course meal under the stars. Seth laughs at Manuia’s craziness, enjoying the company at their table. Dinner is cozy, Seth feels the love drift in the air all around them. Everything is so perfect, so serene and relaxed.

He goes to sleep excessively happy that night, grateful. Because it’s still surreal to him, and sometimes he has to pinch himself to remind himself that this _isn’t_ a dream. He has people now, he has love.

* * *

 

The two weeks leading to his graduation pass by quickly. Seth feels like he’s blinked and voila—two days until graduation. Today’s a Friday, which means he’s due for his twelfth week scan. His bump has grown bigger in these two weeks. Seth feels so fat, he’s so round and so is his belly, but Naomi told him yesterday that he’s not that big. Seth wants to believe her, but every time he gives himself a once over on the mirror, it tells him differently.

He’s noticed that he has stretch marks too, and those are honestly his worst nightmare! Thankfully, when Naomi came to visit yesterday, she came bearing gifts. Two tubs of Organic Virgin Coconut Oil which apparently helps with stretch mark prevention. It’s too soon to tell if the heavenly smelling oil works but he’s grateful nonetheless.

Seth scans through the closet, finding a pair of black sweatpants and Roman’s Nike sweater. He gets dressed, slipping on his sneakers and then tying his hair before examining himself on the mirror. _Definitely fat,_ the thought tumbles in his mind. But he makes fat look good. He smiles in approval at his baggy look, the most important people in his life are hidden perfectly by Roman’s sweater.

A grin tugs at the corner of Seth’s lips when he senses Roman’s presence behind him. The grin strengthens, his hands travelling to his belly to entwine on top of Roman’s. He meets the royal’s rich brown orbs on the mirror. “You’re back,” he smiles. Roman left for work this morning, with the promise of returning of course because he wouldn’t miss the prenatal checkups for the world.

“Yes, are you ready?”

“Mhm,” Seth hums quietly. “I just need to grab my water bottle in the fridge and then we can leave.”

Roman’s lips touch his in a soft kiss, “Let’s go then, I hate being late.”

“It’s ten,” Seth points out. They’re far too early to be late, his appointment with Dr. Baldwin is at 11:30 a.m. that’s an hour and a half that they have. But they have to drive there so they have about thirty minutes.

“Rather ridiculously early than late,” it’s Roman’s motto, Seth knew the man would say that even before Roman could say it. “You know that.”

“Have it, we can leave now,” Seth tells Roman once he’s grabbed his water bottle. He drinks the bland liquid like crazy lately to stay hydrated as possible. Getting in the car, he buckles in his seatbelt while Roman goes to the driver’s side. “I hope you haven’t forgotten that Dean and Xavier will be here this afternoon,” Seth reminds Roman. His best friends will arrive at one, Bobby has taken the chopper to Tampa, and Seth will be back home in time to welcome them. He’s excited more than words could say, they haven’t seen each other in a very long time.

“You’re reminding me for the thousandth time. I know, alofagia. I spoke to ginger yesterday remember? Told me not to forget to leave the keys to the Maserati...”

 _And your card,_ Seth adds mentally, he made friends with a gold-digger. Dean’s so excited about coming over to their house, he’s already declared that they’re going to Bal Harbour Shops immediately they step foot on Miami grounds.

Roman kisses his forehead outside the hospital’s doors. It brings a small smile to Seth, makes him feel cherished. He bites on bottom lip, clutching Roman’s hand more firmly when he feels a bit lightheaded. The dizzy spells come and go, but drinking plenty of water alleviates the symptom. For the first time since his visits, Seth finds Dr. Baldwin already inside the OB/GYN office waiting for them.

He’s not alone, there’s another doctor with him. An Asian woman, with smooth brown skin, her lustrous raven hair tied neatly into a ponytail. The glasses on her face suit her round face perfectly. They make her look older, even though Seth can tell that she’s quite young.

“Good morning!” Dr. Baldwin’s voice breaks Seth’s staring. The greying doctor is shaking hands with Roman, “Mr. Anoa’i, good to see you.”

“Likewise doctor.”

Seth gets through the standard greetings, waiting on the sturdy to give them information on who the woman in the room with them is. He gets on the examination table, giving his water bottle to Roman.

“This is Dr. Kumar, she is a perinatologist, an obstetrician specializing in high-risk pregnancies. She will be sitting in on your appointments from now on. She will act as a second eye, mostly just observing and offering her input.”

Seth nods in understanding, comforted that the two medical practitioners will be working together to do everything in their power to ensure everything goes well with his babies. He’s even more comforted by the fact that Dr. Kumar is equipped to assist people with high-risk pregnancies, people like him.

Seth always holds his breath during his appointments with Dr. Baldwin. He’s always hoping that there’s still heartbeat in all of the babies. And that there are no complications with all of them. Leaving the OB/GYN office is a relief. Seth can feel the tears brimming in his eyes, this always happens after his appointments. Because everything is still going as should with the babies. Because they’re all still fighting to come into this world.

“They look more like babies now, but they’re still like alien creatures…prawns.”

Seth turns away from the window, sparing Roman a glance. “And you won’t stop calling them alien prawns.”

Roman says nothing, his boyish expression says more than words ever could. On the way back home, Seth has Roman stop at a fast food outlet. He’s hungry, and chicken nuggets sound appealing at the moment. He ends up getting a burger, honey BBQ chicken wings and some fries. He’s not into any acidic drinks so he gets a water to go with his food.

They arrive home fifteen minutes before 01:00 p.m. and Seth receives one deep kiss from Roman before his boyfriend gives him his card to utilize on today’s outing. Seth rolls his eyes but accepts the card nonetheless, rushing upstairs to store the babies’ envelopes in his drawer.

The sound of the chopper has him descending the stairs too enthusiastically. Totally uncaring because he hasn’t seen Dean and Xavier since the ice age. The back door remains open as he skids outside. Dean is the first one to come out of the luxurious chopper, carrying a small suitcase with a smug expression on his face. And then Xavier appears too, spotting a similar baggy outfit to his. But he’s wearing skinny jeans instead of sweatpants.

_Don’t panic, remain calm._

Dean’s observing him, resembling a detective with those ocean blue eyes of his eyeing him up and down. _Don’t squirm, don’t squirm, don’t squirm._ Seth clamps down on his bottom lip, trying to remain unperturbed under his friend’s suspicious scrutiny.

“Deano,” Seth tries for a relaxed smile.

“Why are you wearing these hideous clothes? They’re too big on you.” Seth rolls his eyes, hugging Dean awkwardly, because he doesn’t want his friend to feel the bump hidden beneath his sweater. “Stop swerving your body away from me. It won’t change the fact that you went and got pregnant.”

“Dean…” Seth whispers, tensing in his friend’s arms.

“You can’t hide it from me Seth. Look at you, you’re like a watermelon.”

Seth pulls back, punches his friend on the shoulder. “You’re not allowed to say that to a pregnant person, we’re sensitive.”

“What the fuck, Seth?! You were supposed to get his dick, remember? The gorgeous fucker didn’t even marry you first.”

“It just happened…”

“The anthem for almost every pregnant person,” Dean sighs exaggeratedly, he’s really not winning with the disappointed mom/dad façade though. His expression says ‘you’re in trouble’ but his blue eyes are sparkling, they dance happily. “Did he leave his card?”

Xavier’s chuckling quietly next to them, watching the altercation in amusement. Seth’s eyes flicker to him before they go back to an expectant Dean. “Yes.”

“Good, we’re ruining his money. He can’t go around making people pregnant and not compensate them. It’s compensation for your ass too, he’s clearly doing a number on it if he got you pregnant so soon.”

Seth sputters, body flushing a deep red, “Dean!”

“Don’t ‘Dean’ me. You know it’s the truth, unless it’s the other way round and you’re the one breaking his dick…not that I’d blame you. You know you still haven’t given me that info I asked for a while back. Sex positions, stamina—you know…”

“Forget it.”

Dean gets a pout, making him look ridiculous. “Aw, you’re no fun. Take me inside this house, I need to look expensive for the mall.”

Rolling his eyes, Seth gives in, guiding his friends inside the house. Dean and Xavier choose the same rooms they picked the last time they came to visit. Seth thinks those rooms are slowly becoming theirs. He should just have their names carved onto the doors. He leaves Dean, who’s decided to take a shower before they leave.

The door to Xavier’s room is slightly open but Seth still knocks, only opening the door wider at Xavier’s soft, “Come in.” Xavier is standing near the tall windows, his burdened brown eyes find Seth. Seth’s just about to ask if anything is the matter but Xavier blinks the emotions out of his eyes. “Hey Seth,” Xavier’s smile is strained.

Seth can’t respond, he scrutinizes Xavier. Examining him from head to toe, Xavier still has a glow but it’s a bit dimmed out, by exhaustion it would seem judging by the bags under his eyes. The weight gain seems to be back, if only a little bit. But there’s still something about Xavier that Seth can’t quite put his finger on.

“Xavier, I missed you so much.” Seth brings Xavier in for a hug, kissing his curly hair. The hold around his waist is tight, he knows Xavier is taking comfort in his arms. So Seth’s own arms grip Xavier tighter, silently sending all his love, his support to the younger man. “Are you okay?” he asks eventually, when they pull away.

“Fine, I…” Xavier’s voice peters out, he pulls his unruly curls back. “I just missed you is all. And we come here, find out that you’re…pregnant. You’re so lucky, I’m sure Roman’s ecstatic,” Xavier’s eyes are swimming.

“He is,” Seth says dismissively. Placing a hand on Xavier’s shoulder, he asks quietly, sternly, “What’s wrong Xavier?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” Xavier’s smile is tremulous, he looks down at his hands. “I guess the exhaustion from dance practice has been wearing me out.”

“About that? What is this I hear about you always doing a new dance routine, Xavier? You’ve closed for the semester, long ago in fact.”

“Practice makes perfect, Seth. That’s all I’m doing, perfecting my art.”

 _Lie._ Seth doesn’t voice his thoughts though. “How’s Randy?”

“Busy, he’s saving—lives. But he wanted to be here. He has a surgery on that day though so…”

Seth pretends not to notice how Xavier’s left hand immediately went to his belly when he spoke of Randy saving lives. He discreetly checks Xavier’s belly to see if anything is out of the ordinary. That damn oversized sweater is making it hard to tell. But why would Xavier wear a baggy item if he isn’t—

“Why are you guys just standing there?” Dean’s voice brings Seth back to earth. He looks over his shoulder, spotting his dimpled friend who has changed into turquoise shorts and a black Ralph Lauren shirt. Seth nods in approval, Dean cleans up pretty good…when he’s not going for the hobo look he loves so much. “We’ve got rich people personas to act out. Money to spend. And I got a date with a certain expensive red machine.”

Rolling his eyes, Seth joins his pinky finger with Xavier’s, following an impatient Dean downstairs. He grabs the key to the Maserati GranTurismo. “Please don’t kill us!” He shrieks as Dean pulls out of the driveway. John and Braun’s Bentley is waiting outside the iron gates and Seth sighs exasperatedly. “Dean, stop the car.”

The roof is lowered, so Seth just narrows his eyes at John, he can see Braun on the passenger side. “Hello Seth,” the brawny jerk has the nerve to give him that smug smile of his.

“What are you two doing here?”

Okay, he’s dumb. He knows exactly what the two muscled puppies are doing here.

“Came to fetch you, of course.”

“Roman gave Dean the keys to the Maserati,” Seth glares.

“For Dean and Xavier,” John responds.

Gah, he fell in love with a prick!

“I’m not leaving this car, John.”

“It’s okay…” Seth wants to punch John’s self-satisfied expression away. “We’ll be right behind you.”

“Whatever,” Seth wrinkles his nose, “Drive Dean.”

Dean obeys, but they’re staring at him. Dean and Xavier are looking at him. It’s just silence in the car. And then Dean’s grating, “What the hell was that?!”

“Nothing, they just keep me safe.”

“Like bodyguards…?” Xavier asks.

“Bodyguards,” Seth confirms, frowning. “I’m dating a replica of your boyfriend, only this one’s sweeter.”

While Dean guffaws loudly, Xavier rolls his eyes. “He’s not that bad.”

“I know, I’m just messing with you.”

“Damn, what I’d give to have bodyguards follow me around,” Dean has a dreamy expression on his face.

“It’s a pain in the ass, trust me you don’t want that.”

“Okay…what I’d give to have my own personal Mr. Money in the bank.”

Seth cackles, that was unexpected. He’s friends with a gold-digger.

“Dean, you’re hopeless.”

“I’m just saying, it seems perfect. Get a good fucking, spend some cash. What else would a guy need?”

“His own money,” Xavier laughs.

“Well it’s Seth’s money because he’s with Roman. They’re even having a baby together.”

Xavier fails to reply, Seth spares him a brief glance, but Xavier’s head is turned away from him. His mop of curly hair curtaining his face. A minute later, and the words that leave Xavier are, “Please turn up the volume a bit Dean.”

Seth finds Xavier’s hand, gives it a squeeze and holds onto it for the rest of the trip to the mall. John and Braun are already waiting for them when Dean parks the car. It annoys Seth to no end but he hasn’t a choice. And Roman sent him a text asking how he’s enjoying his time with his friends. It came about thirty minutes ago.

Seth only replies after stupid John tells him that Roman’s asking him to answer his phone. The first store they enter is an Orlebar Brown, it’s Dean’s idea actually. So Seth just keeps a safe distance with Xavier as Dean grabs a variety of menswear. And then they enter a Balmain, a Tom Ford and so many  designer stores. They leave a Gucci store and Seth can’t help but notice the change in Dean’s step. “Why are you walking funny?” he asks.

Dean turn to face them, lifting the Gucci sunglasses he just bought. “It’s called the rich step. You guys need to keep up. All the wealthy people know it.”

Okay….

Xavier is the first to break into fits of giggles, Seth following suit. “We’ll keep that in mind.”

“Oh, look we have a fan!” Dean points to a woman a few meters away from them. She’s capturing their photos so unashamedly on her phone. “Tell her to get my good side.”

“Come Dean,” Seth rolls his eyes. Braun is already making his way to her so they just continue with their shopping. “Two watches Dean?” they’re at a Bulgari and Dean’s picked two watches with the same design, the watches are exactly the same actually.

“Toni’s birthday is coming up,” Dean says nothing else. He’s looking at Seth as if his response is explanation enough. And it is, but two watches?

“You’re buying two,” Seth points out, tone slower.

“Duh, so we’ll match.”

Ugh, gold-digger.

Xavier’s giggles are quiet, but he clearly finds the whole thing so funny. There are even tears trailing down his cheeks.

“Whatever, just be quick. I’m starving.”

Lunch is done at Carpaccio. Dean drinks a bottle of Dom Perignon all by himself. Seth guesses he should add alcoholic to his list when describing his friend. He has a gold-digging alcoholic friend. Xavier mimics him, ordering a nonalcoholic beverage. It makes Seth suspicious, maybe Xavier is pregnant? He definitely eats like someone who’s pregnant and Seth says this because it’s the same way he eats too.

Xavier requests to visit a Books & Books before they finally leave for home. They spent so much time at Bal Harbour and Seth thinks it will be a little after five when they make it home. All the shopping bags are in the Bentley following behind them. There are too many of them, most of them belonging to Dean. Xavier has three bags and Seth has two.

He’d been right about them going to arrive after five. It’s 05:30 p.m. and the mouthwatering aromas of Masina’s cooking already drift in the air. “Fuck, I missed Masina’s cooking!” Dean moans after the door closes behind them.

“Me too, I’m starving!” for the first time that day, Xavier sounds really enthusiastic. Seth watches with a smile on his face as the young man rushes up the stairs, shopping bags bouncing up and down.

“I’ll meet you in the dining room,” Seth parts with Dean upstairs, heading for his and Roman’s bedroom. He takes a quick shower to wash away the bacteria from this afternoon. Leaving the en-suite bathroom, Seth clutches his chest in fear when he spots the muscular body on the bed. “Jesus, you scared me!”

“Jesus? Where?”

Dammit! The comical look on Roman’s face causes Seth to cackle. “Dork,” he goes to kiss Roman’s lips. “How was your day?”

“The best, I saw my babies jumping around on a magical screen.”

He’s melting so hard, Seth can’t hold back his beam. He rewards Roman with a deeper kiss, pulling away when things become heated. “We can’t…they’re probably waiting for us downstairs.”

“I’ll be quick,” it’s a losing fight so Seth wraps his legs around Roman’s waist, clinging to his neck as his towel falls at his feet. He buries his face in Roman’s neck as his man takes him against the wall, hard and fast. He screams, Roman’s hands are squeezing the life out of his ass, his thrusts savage. “Not so loud.”

Is this man kidding him?

“You’re pounding me too—” the rest of his words transition into screams. The royal’s fucking him too hard, using him like some ragdoll. Roman moves his hips, changing the angle slightly and Seth moans deeply, he’s seeing spots before his eyes as an intense rush of heat flows through him.

“I’ll have to stop if you don’t stop screaming Seth.”

The shivers run down Seth’s spine, Roman's voice will be the death of him. It’s deep and gravelly—roughened with lust. Roman’s doing this on purpose, he must be. Because how can he expect silence with his deep thrusts? The man keeps pounding into him, so hard that Seth trembles under his touch. He can feel himself teetering on the edge of a precipice. He can’t even feel his lower legs anymore.

“P-Please Roman…” Seth wouldn’t be able to tell you what he’s begging for. He bites on his lip, feeling of the blood in his body pool in his groin. Roman’s fast, thrusting roughly into him with his eyes trained on Seth. _Soon,_ Roman’s lust-darkened gaze promises as he lifts Seth higher, his cock repeatedly nailing the brunet’s gland so hard it has Seth spinning.

The world falls to pieces all around him when Seth finally cums. He distantly recognizes his screams, they really are too loud. Seth futilely tries to suppress them, his sensitive body shuddering violently against the man who’s still fucking him hard. It’s nearing on painful, and Seth tightens himself around Roman’s cock, coaxing him into coming. Roman growls out his release, making Seth gasp from the sensation. It’s always so foreign to Seth but having Roman finish inside him is still the best sensation in the world.

Seth’s body convulses as Roman pulls out, his feet fail him and he falls to the ground. The royal bastard kisses his wet forehead, muttering, “I told you I’d be quick,” before leaving him all alone. Seth is still catching his breath when Roman comes back, a white towel in hand. Roman wipes him clean, before disappearing again.

Supper has long started without them when they reach the dining room. It’s packed, Manuia and Bobby are also at the large table. The loud chatters stop when he and Roman make themselves known. Seth hopes his skin is not betraying him because he feels way too hot as he limps to the chair next to Roman’s seat at the head of the table.

“Good evening, supper began without the heads of the house I see,” Roman says.

Snickers fall at their table.

“I thought you guys preferred having different meat tonight,” Manuia stabs his fork into his steak.

“I’m surprised they even have an appetite for more meat,” Dean pipes in.

The laughter begins again, loud and uncontained. It’s embarrassing and Seth throws Roman a dirty look. He knew this would happen. Stupid Roman, with his stupid dick. Actually no, it’s just stupid Roman. That dick hasn’t done anything wrong, it ruins him in the most delicious of ways. That dick is perfect.

“Not these two,” Manuia's expression is mischievous. “Ain’t nothing better than meat for breakfast, lunch and supper for them.”

“As it should be. We survive on nothing but meat in this house.”

Dean gapes like a fish deprived of water and then his jaw hits the floor. Seth would laugh at his expression if he weren’t just embarrassed by Roman’s words. “Well I did say you were a nine course meal,” Dean recovers just like that, expression sultry all of a sudden.

Seth cuts his eyes towards his friend playfully, “He’s mine, Dean. I’ll fuck you up.”

“Ooh, so sensitive.” Dean sticks his tongue out at him causing the table to break out in chortles.

Later that night, Roman helps him record his first journal entry on the pregnancy journal Masina got him. Seth loves it, he feels like it’s strengthens the connection between himself and Roman, and their babies. He then removes his t-shirt, allows Roman to snap a few pictures of his growing belly. Has sex and falls asleep in Roman’s arms.

Seth wakes up in the early hours of the morning, unable to go back to sleep. Restlessness grips him in it’s clutches and he pulls out of Roman’s arms gently. The royal frowns but he’s still deep in slumber. It makes Seth sigh in relief, glancing at the bedside clock—02:26 a.m. it reads. It’s the middle of the night but he isn’t feeling sleepy at all. Maybe it’s because of heat he’s feeling, it feels like the AC in their room isn’t working.

Slipping on his silky robe, Seth slips out of the bedroom quietly. He’s at the bottom of the stairs when he remembers he left his water bottle. It’s no big deal, his destination is the kitchen anyway. Seth looks for the leftover food from tonight’s supper, groaning in annoyance when he doesn’t find it. Masina always knows to leave him a plate in the fridge but it’s gone. Maybe she didn’t think to…

Grabbing a bottle of water, ice-cream and a few fruit, Seth freezes mid-step when he hears a clacking sound coming from the outside. What to do? Seth bites on his lip, heart beating fast. The mansion’s safe, there are four guards in charge of securing every corner of the house. So maybe it’s one of them doing their nightly rounds?

“Xavier!” Seth gasps, letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding when he spots his best friend sat at the patio, on one of the chaise lounges. “What are you doing outside so late?”

His eyes find the plate that suspiciously looks like the one Masina normally dishes his leftovers on. “Sorry, I-I…” Xavier looks embarrassed, can’t maintain eye contact. “I had bad hunger pangs.”

“It's fine,” Seth waves him off, going to sit on the lounge chair next to him. He places his items on the coffee table, that’s already stacked with different junk food…and his Cheetos. “Wow, you’re really hungry.”

Xavier’s chuckle is tiny, shy. “I didn’t mean to steal your food.”

“Hey it’s okay, sharing is caring.”

Relief spreads over Xavier’s face and he nods gently. The delicacy that always remains with him is visible as he cuts his steak into even proportions before stabbing his fork on it to gently push the meat into his mouth. Seth allows the silence to remain between them for a while, shoving his own food…ice-cream into his mouth.

“I didn’t get a chance to ask you. How’s everything going in Tampa? Anything I need to know about?” he’s trying a different tactic this time. Because Seth knows that something’s troubling Xavier. He just wishes the young man would talk to him. Because he’s here, and he wants to help.

“Um, my parents are coming to visit in a few weeks.”

“Really? Will they be staying with you?”

“No,” Xavier quickly shakes his head. “Dad and Randy would kill each other.”

Seth laughs softly, he’s met Xavier’s parents a couple of times. They love him and Dean. But the same can’t be said for Randy. At least that’s how Xavier’s father feels. Mr. Austin Woods doesn’t even bother hiding his dislike for Randy. Because the cold doctor took Xavier’s ‘innocence’ and he also feels that Randy is way too old for Xavier.

“Oh, they’re staying at a hotel then?”

“Mhm,” Xavier hums quietly. “It’s better that way, for everyone.”

“You’re probably right. I’m sure you’ve missed them.”

“I have…” Xavier’s voice dies out, a heavy breath escaping him as he stares at the starless night sky.

“It doesn’t look like it…”

“N-No, I have missed them. I’m just—it’s nothing Seth.”

“Are you sure, Xavier? I feel like you’re hiding something from me. I don’t know why because I’m right here. You can talk to me about whatever’s troubling you. Anything, Xav. I don’t like seeing you like this.”

Xavier’s eyes widen, his beautiful brown orbs swimming with too much emotion. He looks on the verge of crying, causing Seth’s heart to crack into pieces. “What’s wrong, Xavier?” He whispers, tears falling down his cheeks.

“I—don’t know w-what to do, Sethie.”

“Talk to me, I’m here Xavier. Is it Randy? Did he—”

“No!” Xavier shakes his head frantically. “That only happened once, it was a mistake you know that. Randy would never purposely hurt me.”

“Then what is it?”

“I-I d-don’t k-know what to do a-and I-I t-think I-I…” Xavier breaks down. His sobs sounding so depressingly heart wrenching. The air around them is dead, as if mourning with the young man—feeling his pain. “I-I, and R-Randall, n-no. H-He, I-I m-mean, h-he d-doesn't. _Seth_ …”

“Hush Xavier,” Seth hugs his friend close, kissing his unruly brown hair. Xavier keeps crying, his words too jumbled to make sense to Seth. But his pain is so obvious, and so heartbreaking. If he could, Seth would take his pain away in an instant. But he can’t. So he gives his best friend what’s within his powers. Embracing him in his arms so tightly, to give him some much needed comfort. He’s not going to force Xavier to talk until he’s ready. He gives Xavier what he needs now—comfort and the reassurance that everything will be okay. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the silence, this is long like usual. Thank you for reading <3

“Where were you?”

Seth rewards his boyfriend’s question with an eye roll, sighing when Roman’s left eyebrow pulls up so high, he wouldn’t be surprised if it touched the royal’s hair. A part of him wants to laugh at how Roman resembles a security guard with his stiff posture but refrains from doing so, he can see how Roman frowns as the man scrutinizes him from top to bottom then up again.

“Good morning to you too.”

The expression on Roman’s face changes again, it’s impatience Seth sees in his eyes this time. “I woke up alone, you were not at the home gym.”

“I was with Xavier.”

“Dressed like that?” Roman’s expression darkens, his tone clipped. He’s clearly holding back on his anger…and his jealousy. It’s exhausting sometimes.

“I wore this in the middle of the night,” Seth explains, referring to his silky gown, which he guesses could pass as lingerie. The midnight black item ends just below his buttcheeks, and he usually wears it for Roman’s indulgence. But he’s always overheated these days, and it’s the best item to wear when he goes to raid the fridge in the middle of the night, it cools his skin. Unfortunately he couldn’t go back to bed last night because of Xavier. He’d spent the rest of his night in the younger man’s room, comforting him until very early into the morning. 05:00 a.m. to be precise.

“I wore it last night because I wanted to find some food, and then I found Xavier at the patio. So we spent the night talking. I told you he wasn’t fine, he _isn’t_ fine. I spent the rest of the night with him but he wouldn’t release any coherent words for me to know what’s wrong.”

“So something…is wrong with him?” Roman gets his ‘I’m trying to understand something and don’t want to be disturbed’ expression. It tickles Seth but he won’t laugh, not whilst he’s still worried about Xavier.

“Well he cried for over an hour after I found him. I had to help him to bed and everything. I don’t know what’s wrong, Roman. I want to help him but he hasn’t said anything. What should I do?”

Seth accepts the soft kiss to his lips, before detaching with a tiny sigh. He nuzzles Roman’s chest, breathing in his scent. Like always, Roman’s exotic scent comforts him, piecing his cracking heart. “He’ll talk when he’s ready. Most people shut down when confronted. Wait for him to come to you.”

“I hope you’re right, and hopefully he’ll say something before he leaves. I’ve only today and tomorrow with him. Though I can’t really count tomorrow, I think it will be busy. And Monday…they leave in the morning. Whatever’s troubling him isn’t something trivial like helping him decide which Gucci jeans would suit him better. It’s more than that, I just know it.”

“Oh?”

“Mhm,” Seth wraps his arms around Roman’s neck, looking into his eyes. “I have a suspicion but I can’t be sure.” He thinks Xavier might be, maybe, could possibly be, is probably pregnant. But he’s not sure, when they went to sleep last night, Xavier had been wearing an oversized t-shirt. It’s really impossible to tell with those baggy clothes he seems to favor these days. “Maybe you’re right, I have to wait for him to tell me when he’s ready. In the meantime, I’ll support him in every way I can. He’s my best friend, daddy.”

“As you should,” Roman leans down to capture his lips, lightly at first, before one of his hands travels to grip behind Seth’s neck, holding him in place for a devouring. His other hand travels beneath Seth’s gown, gripping an asscheek, bruisingly. Seth knows it’s meant to remind him who his body belongs to. “I won’t let you off the hook so easily the next time you decide to show what’s mine to one of your friends, Seth. It shouldn’t happen again.”

“I can’t with you.” Seth smiles against Roman’s lips, yelping when Roman smacks his ass. The royal bastard soothes the pain by gently massaging the spot, a smirk on his goregous face. “You and your spanking kink,” Seth shakes his head amusedly.

“Do you blame me, with the ass you have?”

Laughter bubbles inside Seth’s throat, “Dean said you need to compensate me for all the damage you’re doing to my ass.” Roman’s hands are still curious, as always. Seth can feel his groin tingling as two fingers slither in between his buttcheeks, rubbing on his swollen hole.

“Is that so?”

“Mhm,” he moans deeply, digging his blunt nails into Roman’s shoulders. Each tap down there entices a twitching to his hole, it’s a pleasurable pain. “For making me, um—fuck, daddy! H-He said you made me pregnant too, mhm… _soon_. M-Made me pregnant—soon, ah!”

His legs are vibrating when Roman drags him to the chair near the dresser. Seth’s drools in starvation when he takes in his man’s hard dick. That perfect big dick is leaking profusely, the thick veins throbbing—all for him. Seth wets his lips, looking up at Roman with sheer hunger. “You know what to do,” Roman’s voice sounds dark chocolate melting on gravel, it’s far too sensual.

Roman bends him over the chair, Seth isn’t sure when he got the lube but a whimper leaves him when Roman’s thick finger shoves inside him. “Easy…easy…breathe...” Roman kisses down his back, massaging his ass with the hand that isn’t working Seth open.

 _Breathe,_ Seth chants in his head, trying to follow Roman’s advice, because his legs are shaking so hard. His entire body in fact, and he knows his breathing is too ragged, too labored. But he’s sore, always is,he can’t help the way his body is trembling. It’s the effects of overdosing on Roman’s dick. “Fucking hell!” he screams as Roman’s thick mushroomed head stretches him open. Seth’s hands clench into tight fists, eyes squeezing shut.

Roman’s still massaging his ass, it helps lessen the pain. He doesn’t dare open his eyes as Roman slowly makes him take more of his dick, partly because of the pain. But it’s just as pleasurable too, feeling Roman stretching him, filling Seth full with cock. It’s one of the best feelings ever. “Oh fuck…” Seth groans, slowly pushing back on his man’s dick. The sounds leaving the man fucking him so exquisitely slow turn Seth on more than he could ever explain. Roman’s making all the right sounds, he’s making the sounds of a man who’s really enjoying their partner. He sounds like he’s genuinely enjoying Seth’s hole.

Seth’s fists clench tighter with each thrust into his body. He uses his body to give Roman as much pleasure as possible while still having fun himself. Seth rocks backs on that fat dick, smacking his ass on Roman’s dick slowly seductively and then transitioning into stripper mode. He dances sensually, moving his upper body erotically while twerking on Roman’s cock. He goes faster, attempting to match Roman’s pace. Roman’s fucking him so hard, taking him without a care in the world. The royal’s sweetly battering his pleasure button, playing his body the way that only he can do. “You’re fucking perfect, Seth! You fucking take it all! Such a champion!” Roman growls, pounding him savagely.

Pride swells within him, Seth nods his head frantically, body drenched. “All for you daddy, y-your champion!” he screams, shivers running down his spine as Roman pulls him up by his hair. “Fuck, feels so good—Row-man!” He moans wantonly when Roman plunges even deeper. It feels like the man’s rearranging a few things in there. _He’s in so deep._

His orgasm hits him too soon, crashing through him like a tidal wave. Seth feels electrical sparks touching his volcanic body. He shudders blissfully, shooting his cum onto the chair and marble floors. He cries out loud, convulsing as Roman grips his dick, squeezing tightly while stroking him back to live again. Of course, he should’ve known.

Roman pounds Seth’s ass, sending the brunet’s body into the realm of utter ecstasy. “Damn Seth…” Roman grunts hotly into his ear as Seth gyrates against him. Joy swells in Seth’s heart, he makes sure to throw his ass back on Roman’s dick like the royal’s never seen before. The iron grip to his hair tightens, he won’t be surprised if he loses a few strands. It’s happened before.

The orgasms keep crashing through him, each one making him feel weaker, more sensitive than the one before. Seth is completely drained, holding on for dear life as Roman greedily pounds him. He’s on the verge of releasing a few tears as Roman’s big hand goes to his spent wet dick again. He knows he’s going to have to beg soon if Roman doesn’t ease up.

Seth’s clenched fists weaken with each rough pounding. He’s in pain but Roman’s expert strokes to his dick have him feeling a pleasure so intense his eyes roll to the back of his head. His body is lethargic, his only balance being Roman’s bruising waist on his hips. He screams when he comes again, but no sound comes from his lips. He’s exhausted his voice, exhausted everything. He can’t even muster up the energy to push back against Roman. He simply takes it, his sounds a mixture of grunts and sobs.

“FUUUUCK…” Roman tenses above him, one of his hands going to entangle in his damp hair. A pleasurable pain shoots through Seth as the grip tightens, he’s definitely losing hair today. Roman’s growl booms in the sexually charged room as Seth clamps down on his man’s cock, heightening his pleasure. “SO. FUCKING. TIGHT!” Roman growls, each word is enunciated by a hand spanking Seth’s ass, and Roman’s dick roughly pounding his sensitive pleasure button. Seth’s fists unclench weakly, shakily, his breathing labored.

“Just for you Row-man,” he whimpers. His arms remain balanced on the chair, trying to regulate his irregular heartbeat. A few minutes later and Roman grips his hair again to plunder his mouth. It’s sensual, dirty tongue fucking that lasts until the need for air separates them. “I love you,” Seth gets his words out despite his sore throat.

“I love you too, alofagia.”

“Get off me, I’m hungry,” Seth complains, yelping again as the royal bastard smack his ass not once, not twice…but three fucking times before dislodging his cock out of him. It hurts, and Seth almost wants to smack Roman’s serene look away because his ass is throbbing. Dean was right, he needs to be heavily compensated for the things his ass goes through. “You didn’t even bother to remove my gown, you jerk. Now I’m all hot, and sweaty and sticky. Ou ita ia oe,” he really hates the prick.

“E te iloa e te alofa ia te a'u,” Roman responds, smug as ever as he guides them to the bathroom.

“No, I don’t actually. I don’t love you at all.”

“I should probably kill myself if you no longer love me.”

“Only if your dick remains behind. It hasn’t done anything wrong, we’re practically besties.”

Roman chuckles heartily, momentarily forgetting his task of bathing Seth. The sound of his laughs always make Seth feel funny, happy. They warm him up like nothing else can. God, does he love this man.

“Maybe I won’t kill myself too then, the thought of never fucking you again…no, no, no. It’s blasphemy.”

“Dork,” Seth’s eyes crinkle at the corners, his stomach fluttering. “You’re lucky I fell in love with you.”

“I am,” Roman turns serious all of a sudden. “I am the luckiest man on earth,” the charming bastard says before gripping the back of Seth’s neck to kiss him gently. He kisses every inch of Seth’s face, and then moves his lips to the rest of Seth’s body, kissing Seth’s belly lovingly last. As usual, he says a few words to their babies, in deep Samoan so Seth couldn’t tell you what the man said if you asked him.

“So you told your friends you’re pregnant?” Roman asks in the bedroom, as they both get ready for breakfast.

“Dean figured it all out before I could say anything. His dumb ass even told me I look like a watermelon. That’s a crime, people can’t say that to pregnant people. We’re sensitive!” he jokes.

“I’ll get him a manual,” Roman laughs. He helps Seth put on his flip-flops. Yes, it’s ridiculous! But Seth just indulges the man, Roman loves doing these things for him. “Do they know we’re having more than one baby?”

“Nope, I was thinking maybe I should show them the sonogram pictures after breakfast?”

“If that’s what you want.”

“I know Dean’s going to go insane,” Seth chuckles, he can already hear Dean’s grating screams in his head. Hopefully he won’t be lifted into the air and spun around like some kid. “I’ll find you downstairs? I just want to get Xavier.”

Seth knows his boyfriend’s about to say something dumb as Roman leans into whisper conspiratorially, “Hurry, your friend the human bear is here. He’ll finish all the food.”

“You’re hopeless,” Seth parts with Roman after a kiss to his forehead. He heads to Xavier’s door, knocking twice before opening the door. “Xav? Are you awake yet?” he asks, headed for the body still in bed. It’s 08:00 a.m.—a little early for him to be awake on a Saturday. He can’t really blame Xavier for still being asleep. Sitting on the California King bed, Seth nudges his best friend’s shoulder gently. “Baby, wake up.”

“No, Randy. Don’t wanna.”

Seth melts when Xavier says that, maybe the young man’s dreaming about his boyfriend. He briefly wonders how Randy reacts when Xavier does this. It’s too adorable for him and he’s almost discouraged to wake Xavier up again. “I’m not Randy, sweetheart,” Seth pokes Xavier’s side.

Seth startles, nearly falling to the floor when Xavier sits up. He’s never seen anyone jolt awake this quick, this abruptly…and with such a frightened expression. “W-What are you doing?” Xavier has tears in his eyes.

“Nothing, just waking you up.” Seth’s hands lift in a peaceful gesture.

Xavier’s exhale is loud, his arms hugging his waist, eyes trained to the white bedsheets. “Don’t poke my stomach, I don’t like that.”

Seth wants to tell Xavier that he poked his side, not his stomach but decides against it. Xavier’s the last person you to get into arguments with, especially when he’s super upset, like now. He’s gentle but there’s a not so gentle side too, especially when he’s like this. “I’m sorry, Xavier. I didn’t know you were uncomfortable. Are you hungry? I came to fetch you for breakfast.”

As if on cue, Xavier’s stomach growls loudly. His gorgeous brown skin blushing red. “Um, guess so. I just have to call Randy first. You know how he is.”

“Of course…do you want me to leave?”

“You can stay…if you want to, I d-don't mind.” Xavier grabs his phone off the bedside table.

Seth remains completely quiet as Xavier communicates with his boyfriend, there’s a quivering smile on his face. The red tinge on his body is still there and he’s giggling here and there. Seth can’t say he’s surprised, Randy is only ever warm to Xavier. His best friend is the only person the cold doctor really cares about, and then it’s tough luck for all the others…including himself.

“I should be telling you that. You’re the one who can’t keep out of trouble,” Xavier’s giggles sound in the room again. The happiness in his eyes reminds Seth of the innocence of a child. It’s his delicacy that refuses to part with him. And again Seth finds himself wondering what might be troubling Xavier. Because despite his sheer happiness now, his burdened look is still visible. “I love you too, so much. I’ll tell them…I love you, okay? Bye.” Xavier returns his phone to the bedside table. “Randy said to pass his greetings. And congratulations for tomorrow, he’s proud of you.”

“Wow, Randy? Randy, Randy? Randall Keith Orton? The intimidating tall dude with icy blue eyes?”

Xavier laughs, rolling his eyes. “My boyfriend’s not that bad. He just, he grew up…differently,” and then the gloomy look on Xavier’s face returns again. “Can we please go eat now?” it’s whispered sadly.

Seth hugs his friend close, pouring all his love into Xavier. “Sure, we can. But I want you to know that I’m here for you, always. Even when we’re not together, I’m always here. And you can tell me anything…”

“Thanks, but there’s, um…I’ll be fine. I’ll figure things out.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, Seth. Don’t worry about me, I’m not young anymore.”

“But you’re still far too innocent,” Seth squeezes Xavier’s cheeks, chortling when the young man smacks his hands away.

“Randy would disagree,” Xavier laughs softly at first, and then his eyes widen. “Did I say that out loud? Oh, no! I-I didn’t mean to say that out loud Seth. Oh god, oh god! It’s so embarrassing…” Xavier buries his face into his hands. His body is reddened again.

“Relax, Xav. It’s not like I don’t know that you and Randy have sex. We all have sex, there’s no need to be embarrassed.”

“Only, you have the kind of sex that takes your voice away,” the beautiful, innocent looking idiot has the nerve to release his cute giggles. Seth won’t even bother with him. Innocent jerk!

“Let’s go, my babies are making me hungry.”

They’re descending the stairs when Xavier grips Seth’s hand softly. “Babies?”

Fuck, slip of the tongue. The announcement was supposed to happen after breakfast. Seth nods, deciding he may as well tell Xavier. At least he’s not going to behave gaga like Dean will. “I was going to tell y’all after breakfast. Roman and I, we’re having quads. Four little humans, Xavier!” Seth can’t keep the love out of his voice, he can’t keep his excitement at bay. It’s the love he feels for his children.

“FOUR BABIES?!!!” this is totally not the reaction Seth had been expecting from Xavier. The color drains from Xavier’s skin to a tawny beige. “People can have that? Four babies, that’s possible? Isn’t that a lot of babies for one person?”

“Two people,” Seth corrects. “And I didn’t have a choice,” a laugh escapes him. Roman’s already sat with Dean at the breakfast table, Manuia and Bobby are present too. It’s always a full house they have these days. And Roman’s parents are arriving around noon. Katherine isn’t coming though, Seth isn’t ready to share this part of his life with her.

“Four babies, that’s too much.” Xavier whispers.

“What about four babies?” Dean’s nosy ass asks.

“Um, Seth will tell you,” Xavier says quickly, taking a seat next to a chuckling Manuia.

“Well princess…out with it. Don’t tell me you are—NO FUCKING WAY!!!” Dean’s vibrant blues widen. “NO FUCKING WAY, SETH!!! Y’ALL HAVING FOUR FUCKING BABIES? FOUR? 1, 2, 3— No way! What do you do, milk a gallon of Roman’s cum in your ass every fucking hour?”

Roman chokes on his orange juice, Seth hands him a napkin. He thinks he would’ve choked too, had he been drinking something. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“Hey, that’s not fair. He guessed it, I didn’t tell him,” Xavier speaks around the croissant in his mouth and somehow managing to pout like a five year old.

Roman’s still recovering, and Seth’s still trying to get his blood pressure down.

“Damn, four babies! Four fucking babies. We’re gonna have so much fun. Seth, you’re going to be a soccer mom. I’ll teach them how to be tough little weasels. And Xavier can teach them all about…fashion? Dammit, I can see it already. Badass uncle Dean with his four little minions. But still..four fucking babies?!!! You guys are somethin’ else.”

“Uh thanks?” Seth winces, he didn’t get much of Dean’s rambling. All he kept hearing was the number four.

“Fuck, I love you,” a cackling Manuia fist bumps Dean.

“Eh, thanks I love you too, friend,” Dean drinks his beer in long gulps. Yes, he’s having breakfast with beer. Seth think his friend would probably have beer for breakfast, lunch and supper if he could. “I’m going to be the coolest uncle ever.  Just you wait and see.”

“As long as you don’t teach my babies violence and cursing.”

Dean looks at him as if he just realized something, his eyes widen before they narrow in on Seth. “Why are you talking like that? I swear your voice sounds like you were choking on dick or somethin—hey! Forget I said anything. Aaanyway, I won’t teach my little bambinos none of that. I’ll be the best uncle…the cursin’ I won't teach them. But yeah, I’ll teach ‘em violence to handle bullies, teach ‘em wrestling. Y’all having girls, right? Because, I’ll teach ‘em to be badass. How to ya know…knock teeth out a persistent scumbag’s mouth. They’ll be badass like uncle Deano.”

Roman clears his throat, he’s long recovered and his smug expression reveals what he’s about to say.  Seth knows what the royal will say. “Actually, we’re hoping for four boys.”

Seth rolls his eyes, “ _You_ want four boys. I don’t mind either gender as long as they’re healthy.”

Roman looks to him, raises an eyebrow and then looks back to Dean again. “We’re having four boys.”

Prick……

“Are you okay?” Seth notices it’s Bobby who is asking the question, he’s looking at Xavier.

“You okay, Xav?” he asks too, because Xavier’s eyebrows are furrowed in what looks like confusion. And his eyes are glossy.

“I’m, uh, f-fine. I-I just felt something…weird. May I be excused, please?” Xavier stands up abruptly. “I’m not feeling well, headache. Can I take my food with me?”

“Of course, Xavier. I’ll have Masina come with a bottle of aspirin for—”

“No, it’s fine…uh, Ro—um, Roman. It’s so weird to say your name, I’m sorry. Can I please take my food?”

“Go ahead, you don’t need to ask,” the warmth in Roman’s voice melts Seth.

He isn’t surprised by the amount of food that goes to Xavier’s plate. His best friend may as well have taken everything on the table. And Seth doesn’t mind, but he swears he could cry when Xavier walks out of the breakfast room with his bottle of mango juice.

The rest of the morning passes by with Xavier trapped in his room. Seth went to check on him around noon, and found him asleep. The plate that he took with him empty, as well as the bottle of mango juice. It’s a little after one now and Roman’s parents arrived about thirty minutes ago. Roman barely paid them any mind, he’s been busy playing on the basketball court with Dean, Bobby and Manuia. Seth isn’t interested in going outside in this heat to be honest. So he’s been sitting…on the verge of soonzing on one of the couches in the den.

“Seth?” Seth feels a hand gripping him gently, the touch of a mother. “Consort?”

“Mhm?” slowly blinking the blurriness out of his eyes, Seth groans.  When did he even fall asleep? “Mama?”

Roman’s mother’s sweet laugh reaches his ears. “Good boy, now wake up. It’s two, and Roman says you haven’t eaten since breakfast. That was too long ago, we can’t have that.”

“Yes mam,” sitting up takes longer than expected. Seth’s exhausted, and he was getting into that delicious slumber no one wants to wake from but alas, he has a royal family obsessed with him. “What’s for lunch?”

“Vegetable wraps.”

“Eew! Where’s the meat?” he can’t keep the horror out of his voice. He’s craving nuggets, and pizza too. And cheese, lots and lots of cheese. “At least tell me I can add cheese.”

“No one’s stopping you, love.” Mama’s lips touch his cheek, bringing some stupid butterflies to his stomach. “Everyone has eaten, your husband is being a fool outside with the others.”

_Breathe Seth. Deep calm brea—OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!_

“What did you say?”

“Everyone has eaten,”

“N-No, the other part…” Seth turns away from mama, feeling fucking self conscious. He hates it, the insecurities that creep up sometimes.

“Well, in our culture Roman _is_ your husband. I told you you’re married to him, didn’t I?”

“Yes.”

“Good, he’s your husband. And he’s behaving like a baby outside with that other friend of yours…Dean? They’re flexing with Manuia and Bobby, some macho competition or something like that.”

Seth cackles, he needs to see this, right after he’s eaten though. “My other friend, Xavier? Did he come down to eat?”

“The precious small bean? He came, took a plateful of food and left. Tell that boy he needs to sleep more, those bags under his eyes are a no no.”

“I’ll try but I’m sure he’s resting now. He went for a nap after breakfast too.”

“Good, he shouldn’t work himself too hard.”

Seth hums in agreement, while stuffing his face full with food. Roman’s mother places a bottle of mango juice in front of him. Yes, she knows his favorite kind of juice. She knows a lot of things about him actually, and he loves her for it. She’s such too good to be true.

“Do they feed you Polynesian foods in this house Seth?” Mama asks a little while later.

“A bit, Roman always brings panipopo home. He loves it. And I tasted the pork buns not too long ago.”

“Oh, you’ve tasted keke pua’a?” Roman’s mother looks pleasantly surprised.

“Yes, it’s delicious. Masina made it the other day.”

“I’ll teach you how to make it one day. But I’m going to make Samoan pineapple pie right now. Known as Pai apa back home. I can teach you how to make it…that is if you don’t have anything to do after this. Or maybe you want to rest like your other friend?”

“No, it’s okay. I guess I could learn a few more meals to my cooking résumé. And pie? Sounds delicious, I’ll help.” It’s better than being bored because Dean and the others have stolen his boyfriend.

“Okay, consort. I brought a few plastic bags. If we get started now, we could have it done in time for supper.”

Seth follows the regal woman’s advice, using a separate container to mix milk and some egg yolks while she works on the flour bowl. He’s enjoying her company, he’s said it before, she’s too regular for a Queen. Too simplistic, even with her outfits, she’s currently dressed in sweatpants and a t-shirt, her sparkling raven hair tied into a messy top bun. “—and he came to me one morning, with a wet patch on his pants. He said mama, I was having sex in my dream.”

“No!” Seth guffaws at the mental image of a twelve year old Roman telling is mom that. It must’ve been the most awkward thing ever.

“Yes,” Mama chuckles, working on the custard, with the pastry baking. “His dad wasn’t home. He was visiting Europe for two weeks and it was just myself and him. But I was flabbergasted so I told him, ‘You don’t say things like that to me.’ He was confused but the way he responded to me...sometimes I think he knows just what to say.”

“You and me both,” the butterflies flap in Seth’s stomach. He remembers telling Roman those exact words two weeks ago.

“You know he said to me, and I won’t ever forget his words. He said, ‘Mama, you tell me all the time that you’re my mother and my _father_. That I shouldn’t wait for tama to come back, because you’re always here to talk to me. So I’m coming to you, man to man and I’m telling you I was having sex in my dream.’”

“Ooh,” Seth laughs. “He got you there.”

“I couldn’t even refute him,” Mama laughs. “I had to take on the awkward task of explaining sex and feelings to him. It still weirds me out, sometimes.”

“I can only imagine.”

“You’re following in the next thirteen years or so. Maybe earlier? Kids these days know too much, they have everything at the palm of their hands.”

“Oh no,” Seth shakes his head. He’s embarrassed just thinking about the whole thing. “Roman will do that. It’s his responsibility.”

“Hm…maybe you’re right. Just so that he can feel how awkward it is explaining that to your child. Even if it is for their good so that they learn the responsibilities that sex comes with…” Mama’s voice peters out, Seth thinks he can see a distant look in her eyes. But she recovers quickly, clearing her throat. “Anyway, have you and Roman talked gender? What you’re hoping for?”

“Roman wants boys, he says they’re too many women in your family. I don’t mind either to be honest, as long as they’re all healthy.”

Mama rolls her eyes, she’s pouring the custard on the light brown pie pastry. “He’s complained about that since he was four, too many girls. Because they’d bully him into playing dolls with them. He hated that but he can’t really say no sometimes, especially to his cousins.”

“Mhm, mama…pai apa?” Roman’s deep voice booms in the kitchen. He’s moaning deeply, Seth frowns when the man pulls him into his hard chest. Roman’s too hot, too sweaty. But it’s not a surprise, he’s been outside for over two hours. “Alofagia, I missed you.” Roman kisses the back of his neck.

“I’ll let the pie set, let me check on Sika upstairs. I’ll come back shortly, okay?”

“Alright, you don’t need to worry about the mess, Roman will clear it up.”

Roman’s groan of disapproval tickles Seth, “Why should I clean up something I didn’t do?”

“Because you’re eating the pie too. And you can’t cook, but you can do the dishes. So no complaints,” Seth turns in Roman’s arms, leaning up to peck his lips. A tiny smile plays on his lips at the song playing in the kitchen. “And here’s your song…with it’s stalker tendencies.”

It’s routine for them to dance together sometimes, Seth sways with Roman holding his waist. There’s something about these songs that gets to him. Maybe it’s their slow sensual beats but then again, even the artists’ voices sound like chocolate on silk sheets. He knows it’s corny but sometimes Roman makes love to him with these songs playing in the background, it heightens his pleasure. And turns him into a puddle for his boyfriend.

“This is my part, listen to that…” Roman’s turned him around again, they’re still swaying with his back touching Roman’s front and his man’s hands on his hips. “—here comes my darling. Here comes romance, here comes my love…quit breaking my heeaart. Breaking my heart, oh...” He’s said it before, Roman’s voice has the ability to sound like sex. Like now, as the royal sings the words hotly into his ear, his hot moist breath fanning Seth’s ear. Roman sounds like chocolate on silk sheets too, with a touch of expensive cigars and whisky and gravel crunching beneath tires.

“You’ve got a great voice,” Seth compliments once the song ends. He allows Roman to turn him around, bracing himself to be devoured. He can see how dark Roman’s eyes are, his pupils are dilated and he has a fire in his eyes. The grip at the back of his neck is held tightly. His heart’s stuttering, hands clammy when slowly, teasingly Roman brushes up against his lips. The charming bastard keeps brushing their lips, moving his lips to one side and the other when Seth attempts to follow them.

“Do you want my lips on…yours?”

“Yes,” a rush of air spills out of Seth’s lungs. He can feel Roman’s steady heartbeat, can smell his heady scent. Can feel his hot breath teasing his parted lips. He feels lightheaded of sudden, and it has nothing to do with his pregnancy symptoms. He doesn’t even think he’s breathing right with the dark stare Roman’s giving him. “I want your lips on mine.”

“Okay then…” the royal bastard teases his lips again, moving away from them to kiss all over Seth’s face and then his neck. He devours Seth’s neck, kissing, biting, sucking—claiming. Seth feels his knees buckle, his body trembling like it always does.

“Oh god, Roman…please.” Seth’s plea is a hard gasp, a breathless moan as he hands travel to grip Roman’s shoulder. His man plays his body to his will with just his mouth, it causes Seth to whimper brokenly. He needs to feel Roman’s lips against his so bad. He isn’t just craving them, he needs them. “Daddy…” he tries again, rutting against Roman. “Please kiss me.”

Roman pulls back, his eyes too dark and pupils blown wide. It feels like the royal is staring into his soul, seeing everything all at once. And Seth he doesn’t try to hide, he feels completely bare—vulnerable beneath his man’s scrutiny. He’s sure Roman can hear the hitch in his throat when the royal slowly leans into kiss him.

Seth feels his toes curl, body literally vibrating as Roman kisses him nice and slow at first and then deepening and going harder with each glide. Seth melts into Roman, kissing him back just as passionately. His fingers caress Roman’s nape, his moans of rapturous pleasure ringing heavily in the kitchen. Roman possesses him wholly, sending fiery heat throughout Seth’s body. “God, Roman…” Seth releases a strangled moan, melting completely. He doesn’t even know what he wants to say.

He hugs Roman close, breathes him in very deeply after the kisses that last light years but still feel too short end. Their hugging session is cut short by Dean’s grating voice, “RoRo, where are you? I thought you said you were going to give me a lecture on the best cig—oh, there you are. Come on, I’ve wanted to smoke expensive cigars for a long ass time. You can resume whatever this is after. You guys are too in love, it’s making feel funny and shit.”

Seth chuckles, face buried into Roman’s chest. “I better go,” Roman whispers, kissing his forehead.

“Fine,” with great reluctance, Seth pulls out of Roman’s warm embrace. “I’ll clean this mess up, then I’ll check on Xavier. He’s been trapped in his room for too long.”

Xavier’s watching TV when Seth goes to check up on him, carrying so much junk food in his arms. His best friend lights up, and they spend the rest of the afternoon snuggling. Just the two of them, with no words being said. They don’t need to say anything, Xavier needs this. Peace is found in silence sometimes. And the aura drifting through the air is one of serenity. Seth isn’t going to disturb it, especially not when Xavier looks like his mind is finally quiet.

* * *

 

“Psst…pretty boy, over here!” Seth recognizes that voice, knows who it’s huskiness belongs to. But he is struggling to see where Elias is. What with the sea of bodies crowding the arena. State Pavilion is electrified, you can practically touch the excitement drifting through the air. He supposes it’s the joy that comes with _finally_ graduating. It’s that sense of pride you feel because all the hard work was worth it.

It still feels surreal to him, that he’s finally graduating. He has so many plans, there are so many things he wants to achieve. Mainly, furthering his education to help change the world. But he’s also excited about finally working, although he has been doing that for a while now, even if it has been part time. He works alongside Noel, she’s a psychologist working with the teenagers and little ones at Lion Heart.

“Hey, graduate!” Bo’s sweet voice breaks him out of his thoughts. The gorgeous man is smiling brightly, looking lovely as ever.

“Bo, hey!” Seth hugs the young man, finding Elias’ eyes on him. The hipster’s eyes are twinkling, but curious too as they observe him. “You’ve, uh, gained weight,” Bo giggles, “But you look good though. You’re happy with the husband, huh?”

Seth chuckles, shaking his head. “Guess I am.”

“That’s great, you know you guys are my fave. Total relationship goals, you know when we’re talking about power couples, you’re right there with Michelle and Barack, and um, Prince William?”

“Uh, thank you Bo. You know you and Curtis are my…fave too. You’re good for each other.”

“Thanks Seth, maybe we should do those double date things people do? I think it would be fun, us power couples all together.”

“I’ll speak to Roman,” Seth smiles.

“Tell him I’d really like to, and he should visit more often. I haven’t seen him in a long time.”

“I will, Bo.”

“You look good graduate,” Seth teases when Elias stands right in front of him. His eyes are still examining, as if trying to figure something out. Seth hopes he won’t notice anything out of the ordinary. The suit Roman had tailored for him was designed to hide his concave belly. It’s all black, and blends in perfectly with his graduation gown. Nothing should be showing, at least that’s what he thinks.

“Why, thank you pretty boy. And you look…” Elias’ eyes roam him again, a sultriness in them. “Fine as hell, like usual. A lil’ on the thicker side now, but damn Seth, your beauty floors me every time.”

“Uh, thanks Elias.”

“It’s a pleasure, now if only you’d given me a chance. You know you’re the only guy who’s ever turned me down, man.”

“There’s a first time for everything, you’ll get over it.”

“And just like that, he bruises my ego again.”

Seth rolls his eyes at the hipster man’s dramatic antics. He follows Elias to their chairs. Roman, and his whole family are on the west block of the arena. Literally twelve members from Roman’s family are here, including Manuia and Bobby. And then there’s Dean and Xavier bringing the number to fourteen people, and his boyfriend makes fifteen.

At two the commencement ceremony begins, with the Senior Dean of the college of Physical Sciences welcoming everyone. Seth distantly hears the man call upon one of the graduates to sing the national anthem, but there’s too much adrenaline rushing inside his body. Too much excitement buzzing within him that’s making him absentminded.

He cheers with the other students, clapping his hands until he finally quits because it’s ridiculous. They’re clapping for everything, and he can see how some of the deans wait for them to clap at each and every word they utter.

If he’s being honest, Seth is grateful once the ceremony ends. He’s hungry and he feels like the whole thing was too long, and there were too many speakers. Some of them too rigid than the others. He meets Roman and his team outside. Naomi has a pink poster decorated with colorful glitter, with the words ‘He’s graduated, and we’re Psyched!’ it has Seth tearing up a bit.

“Hello graduate.”

Seth smiles shakily, glancing up at his home. The look of pure pride on Roman’s face takes his breath away. He doesn’t want to cry, but fears he will. He can feel the tears brimming in his eyes, a low curse leaves him as a lone tear cascades down his cheek. Roman captures it, wipes it away with his thumb. And then the royal looks at him, tenderly for a very long time, it feels like it’s just the two of them.

They are wrapped up in a bubble with life passing them by. Seth parts his lips, welcoming the gentle kiss he is being rewarded with. He kisses Roman back, slowly massaging his tongue. They pull back and the kisses peppered all over his face have him placing his hands on top of Roman’s who’s gripping his face gently. The final kiss is to his forehead, soft lips pressing firmly on his warm skin. Those kisses make him feel so cherished, they always take longer as if Roman’s imprinting all his love into Seth’s skin.

“I am very proud of you. You’re amazing, Seth.”

Seth folds his arms around Roman’s neck, leaning up to kiss him again. He pulls away with a sigh, “Thank you so much, Roman.”

Roman hugs him, holds him close and whispers words of affection in Samoan. Seth loves it when the royal does, he doesn’t know why but his words always sound more intimate when he says them in Samoan. They always feel even more special. Maybe English doesn’t have much appeal. Or it’s the excitement that never stops when he hears Roman talking in Samoan. Unless he’s angry, and he’s shouting in the language. That only happened once, and Seth never wants to experience it again.

“I can sense my family and your friends planning my death, I guess I better let you go. They must be dying to have a moment with you.” Roman’s arms are reluctant as they let him go, the feeling’s mutual really. Seth could stay trapped in Roman’s arms forever, he’s not even lying. Those big arms are his haven, his sanctuary.

Roman’s right about everyone wanting to have a moment with him. Seth is squeezed by one set of arms before he’s pulled into another set of arms. He takes more pictures than he’s ever taken in his entire life, he’s not even exaggerating. Bo, Elias and the rest of Elias’ squad join them too. They part with him after he promises to make a day for them to hang out.

“How was it?” Roman asks him in the car on the drive to the same hotel that had hosted Roman’s birthday.

“Amazing,” Seth admits. “But I hated the speeches though, the Dean for Social Sciences was so annoying. I’ve heard stories abouth that man and his arrogance. I believe he is, did you hear the way he spoke? He sounded like he had a blocked nose or something, that snob.”

Roman raises an eyebrow, his chuckles fill the car. “Really alofagia?” there are mirthful tears in his eyes, his rumbling laughter beautifully rhythmic.

“Mhm,” Seth doesn’t even bother trying to hide his dislike for that Albert Einstein wannabe. “I’m looking forward to not seeing him again, at least for now.” He still wants to return to McMahon college to study for his Master’s degree. Maybe once the babies are born. “I can’t wait to start working full time though, staying at home can be so lonely.”

“I like you at home.”

“I know you do,” Seth rolls his eyes. They’ve had this discussion before, Roman wants him to stay home because according to him, he has more than enough money to support them. He says he sees no point in Seth working. But Seth won’t have that, that would make him nothing more than a housewife. For him, living under the comfort of Roman’s luxury means no independence and he won’t stand for that. He’s going to work, even if he is working for his boyfriend…it’s whatever. He just really wants his independence though. To be able to say he did something for himself, because of his hard work, not because of Roman’s money. “But I’m still not going to stay at home and be your good little wife like this is the 1950s. Forget it.”

“Why not?”

Seth spares the royal bastard a glance, he’s focused on the road but his lips are twitching. He’s holding back a grin, Seth can tell. The jerk enjoys annoying the fuck out of him. “Because I don’t want to, and you can’t tell me what to do.”

“And why can’t I tell you what to do? I’m your boss after all.”

“At work, not at home.”

Roman looks at him when they stop at a red light, eyebrow raised…and he’s going to start with his dumb comments, Seth knows him so much by now. “That’s not what you say when I’m fucking you. In fact, you’ve told me I’m your boss more times than I can remember. It’s always ‘Ahh…daddy you feel so good.’” Seth groans at Roman’s ridiculous impression of him in the bedroom. “Or ‘I feel so fucking full with you.’ And I’ll ask you who’s the boss and you’re all ‘Mmmh, ahhh—you, daddy. You’re the boss. Fuck this ass daddy, it’s all yours. Yesss daddy, I fucking love it when you boss me around, mmmmh Row-man, just like that! I love your dick, daddy!”

Seth cackles loudly, Roman’s being extra. He’s a screamer yes, but he’s not as loud as Roman’s making him out to be. And he certainly does not sound like he’s shooting a porno video. He may have said a few of the things Roman’s saying but that’s because it’s _sex._ When he’s in the moment, and he’s getting it good from the royal he honestly doesn’t know what to do with himself. Roman told him once, that his mouth would be a vessel for the royal’s dick. And it is, he can’t help singing him praises. But Roman does the same when the royal’s pounding him so at least he’s not alone.

“You’re too much,” the laughs are still bubbling from inside his throat. Roman’s laughing with him, like a kid. Seth looks at him, he sometimes has to do that—pause and capture the moment. He feels so lucky, never in his wildest dreams did he ever think he’d have this. But he does, and he’s so happy, so in love, so content. “I love you,” he whispers, Roman’s randomness rubbing off on him.

The royal grips his hand, kissing his knuckles softly. “I love you too, alofagia.”

The rest of the drive is spent listening to Korn, Roman knows a few songs. It’s one of the few metal bands that he truly enjoys. They get to the hotel twenty minutes later, Seth removes his seatbelt. He waits for Roman to get his side, thanking him with a smile as the royal gets his door for him.

“This place’s beauty always takes my breath away,” Seth whispers as soon as they enter the hall where his graduation party is being hosted.

A loud, “CONGRATULATIONS!” fills the elegantly decorated hall. There’s loud cheers and chants, all meant for him. This time the tears do leave him, he’s feeling excessively, he can’t help it.

Two tiny bodies cling to him making him release a tiny, “Oof!” Seth finds two sets of innocent eyes beaming up at him. “Unca Seth, mommy said to tell you to tell you good job when I see you. She told me that other word but I forgot it. But it means well done, right?”

Leilani's brown eyes are too precious, they melt him completely. “Yes, little creature. Did mommy tell you to say congra-tu-lations?”

“Yes! That’s the word unca Seth! Mommy said you passed school. That’s great unca Seth, congra—um, good job, unca Seth!”

Roman’s chortling beside him, but he’s melting too, Seth can see it in his eyes. “Thank you, Bambi.”

Árón, who’s been picked up by Roman leans into him so that they’re having a group hug. “Mr. Roman says you’re too intelligent, that’s why you passed. Congratulations, uncle Seth! I’ll keep my grades so I can be just like you. So what are you going to do now? Save the world?”

“I hope to, little one.” Seth ruffles Árón's mop of red hair.

“Oh boy, uncle Seth! Mommy tells me that’s the best job in the world, you’re going to be a hero. Like Captain America, and Bucky and Sam. Or Batman, he’s real cool. You’re real cool too, uncle Seth.”

“Really?”

“You’re the best in the world, uncle Seth,” Árón is nodding his head frantically.

“Just like you,” Seth kisses Árón's hair, “And you too Bambi,” he moves to kiss Leilani’s dark hair, before both kids bounce off happily to their parents.

Roman pulls him into his chest, “Such a perfect mother.”

“I hope I will be,” Seth tells Roman. “Four babies are a lot, and they’ll all need my attention, my care.”

“I’ll help you, you know that. We’re a family, alofagia. Me, you and our four little boys.”

“Your obsession with having boys, I can only imagine how you’ll react if we just get girls.”

“Impossible,” the look on Roman’s face tickles him. “We’re having boys, I can feel it.”

“Guess we’ll find out in six months to see if you’re right,” Seth chuckles, pecking Roman on the lips. They’ve decided to find out about the babies’ genders on the day of the birth. The anticipation and guesses only add to their excitement. Seth would like to have a variation of the genders if he’s being honest. He hasn’t told Roman but he’d like it if they had two boys and two girls.

Seth gets dragged away from Roman not ten minutes after they arrived. By Roman’s cousins, all wanting to talk to him. Jey even introduces him to Velveteen Dream, it’s weird thinking that they’re all apart of one family now. Even if what Jey and Velveteen, whose real name is Patrick (and prefers to be called Pat, he says his full name makes him sound seventy), is still new. Roman did tell him two weeks ago that the two were getting quite serious. Jey even occasionally comes to America just for the talented dancer. They do make a good pair though, and Seth loves how happy Jey looks with him.

The party follows in a similar fashion as Roman’s birthday. The duty of MC falls between the twins and Dean. Roman’s father, the King, is first speaker. Seth feels his heart swell as the intimidating man talks of how proud he is that Roman found someone like Seth. And he talks about his pride over Seth’s hard work to get where he is. The regal man even hugs him, firmly, reminding Seth of a man in power. He leaves with Roman’s mother an hour into the party though, as they have to go back to Lanuola—they’d had to postpone a few meetings to come to America that are still waiting for them back home.

Everyone is allowed to party after the final speaker. The music varies much to Seth’s relief, he recognizes plenty of his favorite songs being played by the DJ. The food is scrumptious too, like the last time. And he’s seen Xavier lurking on that side of the room. Dean on the other hand is making use of open bar, binge drinking an assortment of alcohol. Seth hopes he stays away from the champagne, he gets drunk quicker when he drinks that, and then proceeds to embarrass himself.

Naomi spots him, her eyes lighting up. She looks gorgeous as usual, in a body hugging black strapless dress and matching pumps. Her hair falls regally on her shoulders, reminding Seth of a Nubian queen. Naomi doesn’t even try. “Hey you,” she greets, holding out a glass of juice to him.

Seth accepts it with a small smile, “Nae…”

They drink from their glasses, remaining silent, and observing the dancing bodies on the dancefloor. Rihanna’s ‘This is what you came for’ is blaring loudly on the speakers.

“Roman can’t take his eyes off you,” Naomi breaks the silence, amusement evident in her tone.

Seth follows her line of sight, meeting rich brown orbs—those eyes are always too deep, they’re as entrancing as the sea. Roman is talking to Jey, but all his focus is on Seth. Warmth cloaks Seth, heart beating fast. “It gets creepy sometimes, his staring.”

Naomi looks at him, raises an eyebrow and then breaks out into laughter. “Really?”

“Yes, even when we’re eating. Sometimes his staring wakes me up, it can get so intense. I never know what he’s looking for.”

“Maybe he finds you—” Naomi is cut off by Dean shouting. The ruckus around them is too loud for Seth to get what his friend is saying but his grating voice sounds panicked, alarmed. He looks over his shoulder, near the food area. There’s a small crowd gathered there, he hasn’t an idea why. But his feet are already moving of their own accord to know what the commotion’s about.

He knows it’s Xavier when he hears Dean shouting loudly for the people to back off. Dread fills him, his shaky legs picking up the pace. “Xavier! Move, please get out of the way!” He growls, weaving through the persistent crowd. “Move goddammit, he’s my best friend!”

He finally manages to reach Xavier and…

_No, No, NO._

Seth’s legs give out, as he falls next to the body lying on the floor. “Dean?!” His voice clogs up in his throat, panic making him dizzy. “Dean, w-what happened? What happened t-to Xavier?”

He’s trying not to cry, but the tears fall regardless, his hands trembling. Seth draws Xavier’s limp body to him and tries to shake his young friend back to life. It’s not working, he can feel Roman’s hand touch his shoulder, it’s comforting but not enough. He knew there was something wrong with Xavier. He should’ve forced him to speak up. He should’ve called Randy, to demand answers from him. The cold son of a bitch is the one living with Xavier, surely he’s noticed the change in Xavier’s demeanor. He should’ve probed, poked and prodded. He should’ve tried harder. He should’ve, he should’ve…

“Alofagia, get up. We’ll take him to the hospital.”

“Row-man…” the tears fall harder, he can’t breathe right. He trashes in Roman’s stronghold, attempting to get to Xavier who is Dean’s arms. “Dammit, let me g-go. He’s my best friend, I want to hold him. Row-man, I’m warning you, let me go.” Seth screams louder, heart cracking into a million pieces. He’s not sure where the royal's taking them. “ _Please_ _let_ _me_ _go_ , _Row_ - _man_.”

“We’re taking him to the hospital, okay? Just ten minutes, and we’ll be there. Just calm down a bit, okay?”

“ _NO_!” anger boils his insides at Roman’s advice. Calm down? He doesn’t want to calm down. Not when he just found his best friend collapsed on the floor.  “I don’t want to calm down. Not until I know what’s wrong with him. Take me to him!” he fists on Roman’s button up, face wet with tears. “I want my best friend, Row-man!”

“Seth calm down,” Roman’s tone is still gentle, still patient. But Seth is still finding it hard to breathe, fear gripping him—taunting him. He’s finding it hard to walk right, and buries himself into Roman’s chest when he’s lifted off the ground. They are moving, hopefully to get to Xavier. And then they stop, Roman juggling to take out his car keys with Seth still in his arms.

The royal helps him into the car, buckling in his seatbelt. He closes the door, going to the driver’s side. Silence reigns in the car on the drive to the hospital. Seth can’t muster up the energy to talk. He’s too shook up, too scared…too anxious. _Please be okay,_ he chants in his mind, rocking back and forth in the car. Because he doesn’t know what he would do if something were seriously wrong with his best friend.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, and the song Roman was singing is Mint Condition's Pretty Brown Eyes. Because Seth has one of the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen, okuurt? LOL. Thoughts?


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya!!! I'm sorry for the silence but I was finalizing my exams, and I'm officially done. (Jumps in balloons and confetti!!!) I, like, won't be seeing school for a year. I need a break. Anyway, I also saw Roman's picture, well video, I saw it on YouTube and he looks so healthy you guys and I'm so glad for that. Also, I warned you guys about angst coming up so here we are. Please read cautiously. A lot is going on here, and I'm sorry to bombard you with so many emotions. I don't cry when I write because well, I just dont. I love angst but I may have shed a lone tear here. And lastly, if you could--please listen to Skylar Grey's 'I know you.' I think it summarizes this whole fic perfectly.

“The collapse was a result of severe dehydration and fatigue, we ran a few tests and have a diagnosis. I’ve already talked to Mr. Woods, asked a few questions. We’re going to have to keep him at the hospital for a few hours, for an IV treatment to restore hydration. And then we’ll discuss the way forward in terms of treatment,” the young medical doctor tells everyone in the hospital room.

They’ve been at the hospital for thirty minutes, and Seth arrived with Roman twenty minutes after Xavier’s admission. The traffic had chosen this day to prevent him from getting to his best friend earlier. Seth’s eyes find an expressionless Xavier, who despite the blank face, has tears in his eyes. Seth isn’t even sure if the young man is with them at the moment.

“Um, can you tell us what caused the dehydration? Was he not drinking enough liquids? I know he’s been overworking himself lately, at least that’s what Dean told me,” Seth informs Dr. Nielsen. He observes the occupants in the room, Dean is examining Xavier suspiciously while Roman stands next to him, his arm around Seth’s waist. It’s his anchor, and he’s grateful for the royal’s presence. The man had managed to finally calm him down, but he’s still worried for Xavier. He fears he won’t stop until the doctor promises that everything will be okay with his friend.

Dr. Nielsen finds Xavier, looking at him for far too long, before she clears her throat. “We’ve come up with a diagnosis, it wasn’t that hard to determine. But I’m afraid I cannot give you any information, not without Mr. Woods’ consent.”

Seth rolls his eyes, pursing his lips together. He knows the doctor’s right but it doesn’t keep his annoyance towards her at bay. Xavier hasn’t uttered a word since they all joined him in the hospital room. And this lady is expecting him to say something?

“Xavier,” Seth begins softly, heart breaking at the barely held back tears in Xavier’s eyes. “Look, I think I know what’s wrong, okay? And I want to tell you that you don’t have to be afraid. I’m here for you, we’re all here for you. Please, talk to me. I’m here, Dean’s here and we love you…please, baby.”

“Seth’s right, kitten. Listen to him,” Dean adds in, tone softer than Seth’s heard in a long time.

The silence reigns again, Seth’s heart beating fast in impatient anticipation. He doesn’t remove his eyes from Xavier, whose arms are now protectively folded around himself. He resembles a frightened little kid as he lets out a shaky breath. It’s tiny but it sounds like a tornado with how silent the hospital room is.

“Preg-nant.”

It’s all Xavier says…and then he shuts down again. Seth sees his brown eyes return to their dead expression. But the twitch on one corner of his lips looks like one of pain. Roman’s hand grips his waist tighter at Xavier’s response. The hold turns iron tight so Seth spares him a small glance. His boyfriend’s eyes are on Xavier’s belly, although nothing’s visible with his dress shirt still on. Roman’s surprise is clearly visible, even though he’s trying not to show it.  

“I knew it!” Dean says quietly but then he shakes his head, “Wait, sometimes I think I did. But then you began losing weight, so I thought maybe I was wrong. And then you gained a bit again, and gah—I just didn’t know anymore! Why didn’t you say anything?”

Xavier’s response is a tired shrug of the shoulders, he buries his face in between his legs, wordlessly telling them he’s done talking. His posture is defensive, his shoulders too tense. And his gorgeous curly hair serves as his cloak from the world. He looks like a man trying to run away from his problems.

“Um, doctor…so that’s his diagnosis? He’s pregnant, that’s the reason he passed out?” Seth asks.  

“That’s part of it,” Dr. Nielsen looks at Seth with an awkward smile, he doesn’t blame her. The air in the hospital room is stifling, and it has nothing to do with the uncomfortable smells he’s always associated with hospitals. It’s the emotions drifting through the air that has his lungs tightening. It’s the way Xavier keeps trying to hide from them. And Seth still doesn’t know why.

“Mr. Woods is anemic, it’s quite normal to have a mild anemia when one’s pregnant. But in Mr. Woods' case, it’s more severe because of low iron levels. His body doesn’t have the enough iron to produce adequate amounts of hemoglobin. That’s a protein in red blood cells, it carries oxygen from the lungs to the rest of the body. In the early stages of anemia, symptoms may not be so obvious. I’m assuming it was the same with Mr. Woods. But he hasn’t had any medical checkups done so of course he didn’t know that he had the condition.”

Seth nods in understanding, releasing a quiet exhale. “But he’s going to be fine?”

“Of course, there’s no other option. Like I said, we’re going to keep him admitted for a few hours for IV treatment. And thereafter, we’re going to discuss the best possible treatment for him. But he mostly has to change his diet, make sure he consumes enough iron. I’m still going to recommend an iron supplement to him. And liquids, he’s very dehydrated and needs to fill up on liquids. But overall, he should be fine. We’re going to treat him for the night.”

“How far along is he?” Dean asks, moving to settle on the hospital bed next to Xavier to kiss his curly hair.

“That’s next on my agenda actually. Mr. Woods, we need to perform your first ultrasound, to check how the baby is doing.”

Xavier lifts his head to nod okay, but it’s still absentminded. He looks detached from everything that’s happening around him. Or maybe he’s doing everything in his power to run away from his reality. It sure seems like it. But why?

Seth hasn’t much time to ponder on that as Dr. Nielsen tells Xavier to unbutton his shirt. Curiosity steals his attention, his eyes finding Xavier’s belly. The flawless brown skin has a slight concave, smaller than his. Xavier’s belly looks like a small pudge more than anything.

“Alright, Mr. Woods, I’ll just squirt some gel onto your belly. It can be quite uncomfortable because it’s cold, and then we’re going to have a look at how baby’s doing.”

“Is that the baby?” it’s Dean who asks the question, voice grating. Seth can hear his awe, but there’s an underlying excitement in it too. The same can’t be said for Xavier. The dark skinned man isn’t even looking at the screen, he’s still so detached.

“Yes,” Dr. Nielsen confirms, a little smile playing on her lips. “It’s moving around. Alright, Mr. Woods, so you’re 21 weeks and three days…you’re halfway there, so that’s great!”

“No, way! Are you sure, Doc? He doesn’t look pregnant at all!” Dean says what Seth’s thinking. Because there’s no way in hell Xavier is five months pregnant, not with his belly. But then again, Nia once told him that bodies are different. And that some people don’t show at all their entire pregnancies. She explained the number of reasons for some bumps don’t show including a condition in which the left and right sides of the rectus abdomens muscles separate.

“It happens, bodies are different after all. There’s no one-size-fits-all pregnancy. It’s quite common for many people during their first pregnancy actually. But we’ll take measurements on baby, see if he or she is growing accordingly.”

“And you’ll be able to tell the gender?” Dean asks again, tone even more excited than before. He’s the only one who seems enthusiastic. Seth is still trying to figure Xavier out, while Roman just…stares. Seth wouldn’t be able to tell you what the royal is thinking.

“Mhm,” Dr. Nielsen hums, her eyes rooted to the screen. “But it’s up to Mr. Woods, I can tell him after our session.”

“Kitten?”

Xavier blinks his eyes rapidly, he gives his attention to Dean. “Huh?”

“Do you wanna know what the baby is?”

“Sure, whatever.” Xavier’s response is careless, whispered. His eyes are damp, but no tears rain down his cheeks.

Seth watches with warmth growing in the pit of his stomach as Dr. Nielsen talks them through Xavier’s ultrasound, explaining each measurement and examining the baby for any deformities. Seth grips Roman’s hand tighter melting completely when Xavier’s energetic little one moves around, his or her little hands up by their face. Dr. Nielsen laughs and tells them that the little one is probably really comfortable.

Dean goes completely insane when Dr. Nielsen reveals the baby’s gender. He kisses Xavier’s forehead dramatically, nearly disturbing an amused sonographer, in a bid to hug Xavier. Seth melts too, in love with the little one already. And Roman’s chuckling quietly next to him, it feels like the tension is slowly seeping out, happiness stealing the spotlight.

“Is it possible to have an abor-tion, Doc?”

Silence.

Seth’s stomach drops to his feet, his lungs constricting. Xavier’s words feel like a punch to his gut and he doesn’t know why. Maybe it’s because he’s pregnant too, and therefore feels the repercussions of Xavier’s words as if they were his own. Xavier’s words chase away the good feelings in an instant, replacing the air with a greater tension. Seth can see Dean’s dumbfounded expression, he can see Dr. Nielsen’s surprised stare.

And then there’s Roman.

The painful hold on his hand tells Seth can exactly how the royal feels. Seth feels like his hand is being squashed like some soda can. He tries to pull his hand away, big mistake—the grip tightens making him whimper quietly.

“If you go through with that abortion, you’re no longer welcome in my home Mr. Woods. And I will ensure that you stay as far away from Seth as possible. Baby killers are not welcome in my home.”

Silence again.

Longer and so uncomfortable this time. Seth doesn’t think anyone dares breathe after Roman says the words. The room’s too cold, thanks to the cold manner in which Roman had said his words. The pained look on Xavier’s face is too much for him to take but it doesn’t get any better when he turns to face Roman. The royal’s face is the epitome of calm, but the throbbing in his veins say otherwise. His pursed lips contradict his cool façade. But his eyes are the most telling. They have Seth trying to pull his hand away again. Because he’s scared, he hates it when Roman’s eyes turn coal black—almost soulless. He can never find his boyfriend anywhere in those eyes, they are always too dead.

“You can’t be serious!” Dean recovers first while Seth tries to keep his panic at bay. But it’s hard, his heart’s beating too fast and he can feel the tears brimming in his eyes.

“I am dead serious. And if you have a problem with my judgement, you’re allowed to stay away too,” he faces Seth, lips pursed. “Seth Rollins, two minutes,” he tells the brunet, his tone severely cold, face blank. The royal lets go of his hand, walking out of the hospital room in tense strides.

Seth stares after the door, heart shattering. And then Xavier’s cries draw him to the present, to what the young man had said. He’s saddened by the news too, like Roman. But he can’t judge, he has no right to.

“I…look, Mr. Woods, it is possible to perform an abortion. But you’re clearly not okay, and while we can perform the abortion, I would advise you to speak to one of our counselors first. The abortion process can begin tomorrow, if you’re still insistent. I need to go and check how the preparations for your IV treatment are coming along. Please excuse me, I’ll be back before you know it.”

“What a jackass! Seth your baby daddy is a fucking asshole!” Dean shouts after Dr. Nielsen quietly exits the room. He’s sitting next to a hysterically crying Xavier. Seth feels like crying too, he hasn’t an idea on what to do. He’s being overwhelmed by a myriad of emotions.

He joins Dean and Xavier on the bed, hugging his best friend close. “Is this what you want Xavier? Because you don’t have to if it’s not what you want.”

Xavier pulls away, furiously trying to wipe away his tears. “N-No, you don’t understand, Seth. I-I can’t be pregnant, it shouldn’t have happened. R-Randy…h-he, no, I-I don’t w-want the baby.”

“Xavier look at me,” Seth cups Xavier’s cheeks, forcing the younger man to look him in the eyes. Xavier is biting on his bottom lip so hard, but his anguished cries can’t be muffled. “Do you want this baby? You don’t have to be scared, it’s just us. We’re your friends, you can trust us. You can tell us how you feel, the truth baby.”

“H-He d-doesn't w-want kids, h-he t-told m-me. F- From the beginning, h-he told me. And n-now I-I messed it all up!”

“Who’s he? Randy? Well tough luck for him, you’re already pregnant.” Dean says, annoyance in his tone. Aimed at Randy most likely. “It’s his fault you’re pregnant. It’s his dick that was going up your ass. He’ll have to deal with it.”

“Maybe he’ll change his mind, baby. Once he finds out you’re pregnant, maybe he—”

“No, he won’t!” Xavier chokes out, “You don’t know how he grew up. H-He doesn’t want to b-be like his father. R-Randy, h-he t-thinks h-he's too m-messed u-up. T-Thinks h-he c-can’t—love,” Xavier is stumbling on his words, his tone strangled.

“Well I won’t disagree with the fact that he’s messed up. The dickhead thinks violence is the solution to everything. Wasn’t he beating some guy up not too long ago? He’s too—”

“Volatile,” Seth finishes for Dean. It’s nothing but the truth. He’s seen it too many times, Randy’s too cold, too dangerous. His energy is too dark, too sadistic at times. And maybe the cold doctor really isn’t cut out to be a parent.

Dean sighs heavily, leaving the bed only to stand in front of Xavier, hands folded at his hips. “But this is still your baby too, Xavier. And it’s your body, only you can decide what to do. If you want this baby, keep it…to hell with Randy.”

“I-I d-don't under-stand. H-He l-loves me, he shows m-me all the time. He c-can d-do i-it for this child too. I-I k-know h-he can b-but h-he doesn’t want to. W-Why?” Xavier removes his face from in between his thighs, shaking his head suddenly. “I-I don’t k-know what to do.”

“So he knows about the pregnancy?” Dean asks.

“Don’t k-know,” Xavier’s shrug is defeated. “Didn’t tell him. T-Thought m-maybe I-I could r-run away from i-it.”

“That was very careless of you Xavier. What if something were wrong? So what, you would’ve gone through with the pregnancy silently and then what? You wouldn’t have been to keep this a secret forever. That baby will make itself known eventually. And then what?”

Dean scoffs, folding his arms across his chest. “I won’t be surprised if Randy knows you’re pregnant. He’s a doctor, and if we could tell that something was up with you then what more with him?”

“Dean has a point, Xavier. Randy most likely knows, and you have been having symptoms after all. I’m just…why hasn’t he said anything?”

“It’s obvious,” Dean snorts, his eyes widening as if he’s just realized something. “He wants no part of deciding whether or not Xavier should have an abortion. He doesn’t want to take responsibility so he’s pretending to be oblivious to the whole thing. God, I’ve always known the guy was an asshole. But he’s taking things to things too far!” Dean’s voice lifts by the second.

Xavier is crying again, clutching his waist tightly. Seth tries to soothe his pain, all the stress he’s under can’t be good for the baby. “Xav, calm down a little, yeah? You’re stressing your body, it can’t be good for the baby. And Dean…we can’t be sure until we get Randy. We’re not even sure if he knows about the pregnancy, all we’re doing is speculating at this point. I have his number, I’ll call him. I’ll do it right now—”

“He h-has a-a s-surgery u-until m-midnight.”

“Shit! Um, okay then we’ll just call his hospital, leave a message. Dean, why don’t you—”

The door opens, cutting Seth off. His heart rate picks up again when Roman enters, looking tense as ever. It looks like he hasn’t calmed down the slightest, and all Seth wants to do is run away. He especially wants to do that when Roman finds Xavier, his eyes burning darker. His anger could kill everyone in this hospital, it has Seth trembling.

“Are you ready?” it’s asked so calmly, but Seth isn’t fooled one bit. Roman’s eyes always give away his anger. And Seth really doesn’t like the look on Roman’s face, it has his heart clenching painfully. But he still nods his head, trying not to reveal his panic to his friends.

He hugs Xavier tightly, muttering a few words of comfort. And then he hugs Dean, “I’ll text you the codes to the front gate and the house. Stay with him, don’t trash talk Randy too much. And call him after midnight, he has to come here before Xavier does something stupid. Xavier clearly wants to keep the child.”

Seth goes to stand in front of Roman then, running a timid hand down the royal’s chest. Roman flinches hard, his eyes swimming. But his anger still frightens Seth, a part of him dreading being alone with the royal. The hold on his waist is iron tight, he stands back, waiting for Roman to open the car in the parking lot. “Thank you,” he whispers once Roman’s opened his door for him. The royal doesn’t look like he heard him at all. He goes to the other side, getting in the driver’s side.

Seth rests his head on the window, unsure of what to say. There’s so much emotion drowning the car but anger is the most prominent. He tries not to worry too much over how tight Roman’s gripping the steering wheel. But his knuckles are snow white and clenched so rigidly. Seth releases a tiny sigh, maybe he should’ve turned the radio on to lessen the tension. Because he feels it now, suffocating him. It doesn’t help him worry any less about reaching home.

* * *

 

“I’m going to grab my water bottle.”

Seth’s voice is a whisper, it barely reaches Roman’s ears. He’s feeling too many things, they are all attacking him at once, from every direction. He can see _it,_ the images, flashing so vividly in his eyes. They are taunting him, everything he’s been trying to run away from is attacking him viciously and he doesn’t know what to do.

It feels like he’s being ripped apart by shards of glass, and he can’t breathe right. Roman takes the stairs, nearly stumbling when he reaches upstairs. He’s walking on shaky legs, his eyes wet, making his vision blurry. Why are all these fucking doors are the same?! Which one belongs to Seth and him?

“Row-man?”

Roman looks over his shoulder, finding Seth at a door near the stairway. He changes his course of direction, headed to Seth. He enters the bedroom after Seth, feeling far too hot. The tie around his neck is tugged at harshly, his hands trembling. The damn thing is stubborn, so he rips the buttons fastened around his neck. He’s still overheated so he rips his shirt off his body completely, uncaring as it falls to the floor.

Air. He needs air. Why is everything so _fucking hot_? Why is the air so stale? Roman makes it to the balcony in a rush, desperately fighting for more oxygen. He stares into the distance, at the dark forests but they don’t give him the chill he so desperately craves.

A hand touching his spine has him recoiling, the touch burns his already feverish body. “Row-man? What’s wrong?” Seth’s voice sounds too small to his ears, it’s next to inaudible.

“I—” _I don’t want to talk about it._ The words refuse to leave his mouth. He’s finding it hard to conjure up sensible words. How can he when breathing itself feels painful? He’s dying from sucking in intakes of air.

“Is it…Tyler?”

Something dark stabs his heart when Seth says that _name._ It feels like a dagger going through his heart, twisting and turning torturously to agonize him _._ Roman’s body is shaking, his blood boiling. “Don’t want. To—talk about. It,” he tries to keep the anger out of his voice. But he can’t, he has no control over his emotions at the moment. Not with everything weighing down on him.

Seth’s sigh reaches his ears, it sounds like a hurricane to him.

“You never want to talk at all, Roman. And look at what it’s doing to you. You’re too tense, too angry. You’re scaring me.”

Roman turns to face Seth, “I am calm,” he speaks through clenched teeth. In a futile attempt at trying to keep his emotions at bay, he straightens his posture, inhaling deeply before exhaling. “See…calm,” a strained smile accompanies his words.

Seth studies him, his eyes quivering, and Roman doesn’t know why. He cups Seth’s cheeks, forcing eye contact. “I’m fine, alofagia. I just, I want to go to bed,” he kisses Seth’s forehead, and then he plunders the brunet’s mouth. The closeness brings him a sense of comfort, it’s not enough but at least his heart doesn’t feel like it’s being shred into pieces.

Roman hears Seth’s surprised moan, ignores it as he guides them back into the bedroom. He makes quick work of undressing Seth before removing his own pants, discarding them on the floor. Roman pins Seth beneath him, carelessly working him open. He leaves Seth no room to catch his breath before invading his warmth, in one rough go. An agonized cry penetrates the air, barely reaching Roman’s ears. The body under him is writhing in anguish. But Roman is barely aware, his only focus is to kill the waves of darkness drowning him.

_“Roman, I want you to meet someone. He’s quite shy, I don’t want you to scare him. His name’s Tyler, he’s going to be staying with us from now on.”_

_The fifteen year old turns to face his mother, eyebrows furrowing because it’s just her in his room. This…Tyler, where is he? “Mama?”_

_Slowly, a figure that was his behind mom reveals itself. Roman observes the boy, he looks tiny with how short he is. He’s skittish too, and reminds Roman of a scaredy cat. “H-Hello.”_

_Roman blinks, trying to snap out of it. He can’t stop staring at the boy, his beauty. He’s never seen someone this beautiful before, so strange looking but still so alluring. His heart beats far too loudly as the boy’s ocean blue eyes widen, he’s drowning in them._

_“Tyler, nice to meet you.” Roman ruffles the boy’s long blond hair before he can stop himself. And the skittish cat shrinks away, taking cover behind his mom._

_“He’s not used to people, Roman. I want you to be considerate of him, don’t be too fanatic around him.”_

_Roman nods his head, he wasn’t even listening to his mom to be honest. This Tyler has him enchanted. He maneuvers his way around his mom, meeting the scaredy cat again. “Friend. I’m your friend, okay?” Tyler’s eyes are wide as saucers, he’s shaking in his boots. Roman wants to know what he’s so afraid of. But he doesn’t ask, they’ve just met so he can’t do that. “Trust me,” he says instead, giving the boy his brightest smile. “Can you…shake my hand?”_

_Tyler looks at Roman’s mother, facing Roman when she smiles reassuringly. Timidly, the small boy reaches out, placing his hand in Roman’s. It’s so small, Tyler’s hand. It gets swallowed in Roman’s much bigger one. But Roman can’t help but think that it’s perfect. He kisses Tyler’s knuckles, ignoring his mom’s throat clearing. “Trust me,” he whispers again, looking into shifty blue eyes._

Roman groans, chest constricting at the memory. He has tears in his eyes, as he plows into Seth roughly. He’s falling with no way of pulling himself out of the black hole he’s slipping into. Roman’s hands are vicious. They claw at Seth’s hips, raking along his skin until trickles of blood stain them. There are too many memories attacking him, viciously ripping into his soul.

_“What are you doing?”_

_The TV turns blank, the boy who was watching the TV jumping at Roman’s voice. “N-Nothing.”_

_“That didn’t look like nothing, were you watching cartoons?”_

_Tyler shrugs, he stands up, eyes rooted to his feet as he makes an exit for the den. But Roman grips his arm before he can do so, lessening his grip at Tyler’s small whimper. “Relax, Tyler. I just want to watch with you. Donald Duck, was it?”_

_He gets no verbal response, but the small head nod will do. “Cool, let’s see what the ducks are up to.”_

_Tyler seems perplexed by the response, he’s reluctant as he goes back to the couch with Roman. But they settle, and slowly Roman closes the distance between them, placing his arm behind the couch. He doesn’t think Tyler realizes it, but the small boy is practically on his lap with how most of his body has shifted to him. A small smile tugs at Roman’s lips, his heart beating fast. He has no idea what’s happening but he doesn’t mind this closeness at all._

A guttural rasp comes from deep inside his throat, the one memory he doesn’t want attacking him is slowly slithering into his memory. Threatening to overpower him but he can’t let it win. Roman growls, his hands moving from Seth’s waist to the rest of his body, leaving bruises. He’s still moving in and out of the brunet, so hard that Seth’s pained cries echo in their room. They merge with the noise going on in his head, making him groan in frustration. He has no idea how to stop the noise in his head. It’s too loud.

_“And this one, what’s the story there?” Roman asks. He’s gotten used to Tyler wanting to visit Lanu Meamata's green forests. It’s become a bit of a routine for them, every Friday afternoon._

_“This one wants to rule over the humans. You can tell can’t you? With it’s majestic hop, it thinks all the locusts can overpower the humans.”_

_“Really?” Roman moves to crouch behind a kneeling Tyler, pushing his golden hair to the side. Tyler flinches but he does nothing else. He’s slowly getting used to touch._

_“Mhm, but not here in Lanuola. We’re very gentle here, lovers of animals.”_

_“Tell him we’re honored, we’ll forever remain indebted to the locusts.”_

_Tyler giggles, turning to face him. “It’s a she actually. The Queen of the locusts.”_

_“Oh, my apologies then. To the Queen too, of course, we wouldn’t want to get on her wrong side.”_

_“Nope,” Tyler shakes his head, Roman remains completely still as the small boy’s hand shyly reaches out to stroke his cheek. “We definitely wouldn’t,” and then Tyler leans forward, still skittish, to breathe him in. Roman makes no sudden movements, he doesn’t want Tyler to revert back to his terrified corner. He can feel soft cold lips touch his neck before they move to his cheek. “I don’t know why, but you make me feel funny here…” Tyler pulls back, patting his stomach while looking at Roman._

_Tyler is a sight to behold, he’s so beautiful. Roman sees it as the sun shines down on him, on his flawless skin. His eyes look electric, Roman always finds himself drowning in them. “You make me feel funny too, man.” Roman returns, carefully closing the distance between Tyler and himself. He nuzzles Tyler’s nose, falling back on the grass with him. His arm wraps around Tyler shoulders as the small boy moves to rest on his chest._

_His eyes have closed, the sounds of nature sounding all around them when he feels Tyler pinch his stomach softly. “Do you want to kiss me?”_

_“Huh?”_

_“I saw it on TV. The feelings I have, sometimes I-I want to…kiss y-you,” and then Tyler hides his face in Roman’s neck. “Forget it, it’s stupid.”_

_“No, it’s not. I want to kiss you too, Tyler. I’ve wanted to do that since the first day I met you.”_

_“R-Really?”_

_Roman issues no verbal response. He pulls back slightly, looking into ocean blue eyes. Experimentally, he kisses Tyler’s forehead. He turns on his side, kissing every inch of Tyler’s face when the boy shows no signs of panic. His lips brush against Tyler’s softly at first, and then more firmly but he doesn’t deepen it. Tyler’s hand is stroking his cheek, a content sigh leaving him after the lip lock ends._

_“That felt really good.”_

_“It did,” Roman grins, barely paying any mind to the wailing wind whipping their chilled bodies. “We should do it again sometime.”_

_Tyler rolls his eyes, his blue eyes so soft in the sunlight. Slowly he leans forward again, Roman doesn’t stop him. He’s been wanting this for over three months. And he finally has it. It’s better than he could’ve ever imagined._

The cold seeps in, sneakily, making him shivering cold. Roman grips Seth’s hair in an iron fist, moving faster. The warmth wants to creep in too but it’s not as prominent. It’s being overpowered by the cold, the cold of the forests. The cold of _his_ body. Ragged gasps leave Roman, his lungs clenching painfully. He can’t breathe, he can’t breathe, he can’t breathe.

Roman cries out, wretchedly, as he meets _his_ face. It’s right under him. _Hurt him like he hurt you._ Roman lifts his right hand, clenching it into a fist while his other hand grips the body beneath him by the neck. _Hurt him._ The thought rings again, tone loud in his head. His robotic rough pumps haven’t ceased. He keeps pounding into Seth savagely, and his right fist is going to hurt the body under him but he can’t.

_This is Tyler._

He promised to never hurt him. He never wants to hurt him. The fist is aimed to the white walls instead. Roman groans wretchedly, his fist connecting with the wall over and over again. The sound of something cracking fuses with the cries in the room but the blood rushing to Roman’s ears makes it impossible to hear. All he feels is pain as punches the wall brutally. The pain is welcomed, he finds it lessens the storm going on in his head. And then he hears a hoarse voice begging beneath him.

Roman attempts to blink the blurriness away, meeting a crying Seth. He stiffens, cement blocking his breathing channel. _No, no, no._ He’s done it again. “Row-man p-please s-stop!” the excruciating agony can’t be kept out of Seth’s voice. He’s wet with tears, his fear showing clearly. It has Roman scurrying to move out of him.

Roman shuts down, Seth’s resonant cries getting to him. He’s in pain, Roman can hear it clearly as the sounds leaving him bounce off the walls in their bedroom. Leaving the bed, Roman only slips on his boxers before stumbling out of their bedroom. He doesn’t know what he wants to do or where he’s going. But he can’t be in this house. The air is too stifling, it’s too dead. It’s hurting his lungs. In the kitchen he grabs the first set of car keys, leaving barefoot to the garage. He just wants to get away. He’s too suffocated.

* * *

 

It’s the noise of the chopper outside that wakes Seth up the next morning. He’s met with the ceiling, blinking his eyes rapidly. He’s not sure when he fell asleep, he’d spent most of the night staring into nothing and unable to move even the slightest. He can slowly feel the pain creeping in, it’s threatening to knock his lights out.

Body trembling, Seth thinks it takes him forever, as he moves to lay on his side facing Roman’s side of the bed. It’s painfully empty, no surprises there. He hates the way his hand immediately goes to touch the space where the man would usually be sleeping. An image pops in his head, playing vividly in front of him. Roman looking back at him with a soft tired gaze, his left eyebrow arched high as he makes one of his dumb comments.

That was just yesterday.

He crumbles, tears falling quickly as removes his hand from the sheets as if he were touching acid. How can things change just like that?

Just yesterday, he was the happiest man on earth. And now, it feels like everything’s gone. Because of the man he’s in love with. Roman’s destroying everything they’ve built together. Seth buries his face into his pillow, trying to muffle his cries. He’s falling apart and he hasn’t an idea on what to do.

He forces himself to sit up, making a conscious effort not to clutch his head. It hurts badly, he knows he’s lost a bit of hair. His first attempt at leaving the bed is a fail, he falls backwards, sharp pain shooting through his back. Trying to regulate his breathing, the brunet tries again, balancing himself on the bloody wall. It works but his legs are still too weak, it feels like he might fall any minute.

The knock on his bedroom door makes him jump slightly. “Coming!” he shouts, wincing at how raspy his voice is. He scrambles to the walk-in closet, grabbing a turtleneck. He slips it on quickly, wearing a gown on top of it. He goes to the bathroom, washing away the blotchiness on his face. After fixing his hair, he tries to walk as normal as possible to the door. “Oh, Bobby…hi! What can I do for you?”

“Dean called me last night, regarding Xavier’s spouse? He’s here, in the living room. He needs to go to the hospital.”

Seth clears his throat, nodding. “I’ll have a quick shower. Please tell him I’ll be right down.”

“Alright, where’s Roman?”

“I-I, he’s…” Seth panics, he doesn’t know what to say, “H-He has a few errands, but he’ll be back soon.” He tries to appear as normal as possible, Bobby doesn’t have to know.

“At 07:00?”

“Yes!” he doesn’t mean to snap but he’s too agitated, feeling far too much. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to get ready.” He closes the door before Bobby can respond.

He removes the stained bedsheets, going to place them in the hamper. And then he removes his clothes, grabbing Roman’s rumpled clothing off the floor and going to place them in the hamper too. He picks up the few buttons that fell to the floor, throwing them in his drawer.

The water bites into his skin as he enters the shower. Seth relishes in it, he’s already in pain anyway. His tears mingle with the water, his cries fusing with the sounds of the shower running. He can’t help his tears, he’s in pain. So much of it, more emotional than physical. He should’ve never come to Miami. He shouldn’t have. He, he…

Seth leaves the shower, wrapping a towel around his waist. Dressing up takes longer than he’d actually like, he puts on a pair of sweaters, a black turtleneck and a baggy hoodie. He tries not to berate himself for slipping on Roman’s hoodie, he’s gotten used to it. After putting on his sneakers, he ties his hair into a messy bun before checking that everything’s hidden properly.

Breakfast aromas are already wafting through the air but Seth’s nostrils are not so eager this time. He isn’t hungry at all, and fears vomiting if he were to force himself to eat something. He heads to the kitchen first, greeting Masina. “Talofa, Masina.”

“Oh, morning manamea. How did you sleep?”

“Great!” he says dully, stilted smile on his face. “I’m sorry, I can’t stay for breakfast. You know my friend collapsed last night so we have to rush to him. I’ll take an apple for the road,” he adds the last part, Masina’s frown says she isn’t impressed.

“Make sure you grab something at the hospital. Take your water with you.”

Seth accepts the water bottle with a small, “Thank you.” He leaves for the living room, finding Randy’s imposing body sat on one of the couches. He looks tense, exhausted too. “Randy…” his hold on the water bottle tightens, Randy’s icy blues find him—devoid of emotion.

“Rollins, about time you got here. Take me to Xavier.”

“I will,” Seth assures, going to stand in front of a now standing Randy. “But I want you to see this first…” he reaches inside his hoodie, taking out a collection of pictures. He’d taken them with him last night, Xavier hadn’t even noticed. “I want you to meet your daughter, Randy. Look at the results of love, look at what you and Xavier have created. You can’t look at that picture and tell me you feel _nothing_ at all. And maybe I—don’t know a single thing about your upbringing and how it made you this…cold. But you can change that, you’re not your family Randy. This doesn’t have to be a generational thing.”

Randy looks at him, but his face is an expressionless mask. He neither flinches nor reacts to the words, but he snatches the sonogram pictures from Seth. He looks at them, face still blank. Seth has no idea what he’s thinking, he can’t tell how Randy is feeling. If he is feeling at all. “Are you going to take me to him or not?”

Seth sighs, but nods. “I said I will, but I…know you knew about the…pregnancy, Randy. And you care for this baby too. I-I remember, when I was in Tampa…you bought Xavier his favorite foods. And then again at The Black Vault, when that man was touching Xavier. Afterwards, I saw you holding him protectively, I saw you hold his belly. You knew about the baby and you care for it just as much.”

Silence ensues. Randy doesn’t admit it but he doesn’t deny it either. And Seth will take that as a good thing. He goes to the kitchen, grabbing the keys to the Bentley before leaving. “Did Bobby tell you where he was going? He’ll drive us to the hospital.”

“Just tell me where the hospital is, I’ll drive there.” Randy leaves no room for argument as he maneuvers past Seth, walking out of the living room.

Seth follows reluctantly, Roman’s voice in his head telling him he’s not supposed to drive himself anywhere. But he has no obligation to listen to it now. Not anymore. Giving Randy the name of Nia's hospital, Seth rests against the window trying to get comfortable. He can’t even sit right, it hurts. _Everything hurts._ And it’s all a reminder of the things he keeps trying to forget. He rubs on his belly, trying to soothe his nausea.

They make it to the hospital in less than thirty minutes, the drive usually takes longer but Randy had been speeding and it’s a surprise they didn’t cause any accidents. Randy leaves the car faster than Seth can blink, and Seth’s still trying to get out of the car without feeling like he’s tearing his ass into half. The rude bastard’s long entered the hospital when Seth makes his way inside.

Randy’s causing a scene, barking orders at everyone to take him to Xavier’s room. Seth skids to him, he’s scaring everyone in the hospital. “Randy, you’re just—stop it! I know where he is, let’s talk to the nurse first,” he whispers furiously.

“Fine!” Randy gets in his face, making Seth shrink away. He’s still too jumpy, still too frightened. He doesn’t need any imposing bodies getting in his space.

“Thank you, now follow me.”

They speak to a nurse who guides them into Xavier’s room. He looks slightly better than yesterday and Dean’s not with him. Seth stays in a corner, watching Xavier’s brown eyes darken with emotion, they go wide as saucers. “R-Randy…I-I wanted t-to. B-But they wouldn’t l-let m-me. We c-can, w-we can…” Xavier can’t seem to get the words out. Randy will be an utter asshole if he encourages Xavier to go through with the abortion. The young man clearly doesn’t want to.

And maybe Seth should be leaving, to give the two men their space. But he can’t. He needs to look out for Xavier, to ensure that everything’s okay with him. He trusts Randy, but not all the time. Not with his dangerous energy. Of course Xavier always says the man would never hurt him, but Seth will still remain behind just in case.

“Doll…” Randy settles on the hospital bed, he brings Xavier onto his lap. “Everything’s going to be just okay.” He whispers, large build swallowing Xavier’s much smaller body.

“N-No, it won’t R-Randall. I-I’m pregnant! I-I shouldn’t b-be, d-don’t k-know h-how it h-happened.”

Randy hooks his fingers under Xavier’s chin, looking into his eyes. “It’s fine, we’ll just…we’ll work it out.”

“So you want the—abortion?” Xavier’s voice breaks.

Randy fails to reply, but he’s looking into Xavier’s eyes. His pale blue eyes are so lifeless. He’s worse than Ro—

Seth shakes his head, clearing his thoughts. He can’t afford to think of _him,_ not now lest he breaks down in front of Xavier and Randy.

“I’m sorry that this whole thing is causing you so much pain, doll. I…am a coward. I just, you know how my Pa is. I don’t want to be like him, it’s why I don’t want kids. I don’t understand them, Xavier. I don’t understand these…family things. They—scare me, doll. Folk like me, I don’t think I was cut out to be a dad.”

Seth can’t see Xavier’s face with the young man’s back to him but Xavier is shuddering, his heavy sobs  ringing sharply in the air. And Seth finds his own eyes watering, why is everything falling apart? Why can’t they be happy?

“I-I, mhm…uh. S-So y-you don’t want the b-baby?”

“I didn’t say that,” Randy says, tone emotionless. “I said I don’t think I was meant to be a dad. But...I'm willing to…try. I don’t understand these things Xavier…feelings,” Randy’s right hand lifts up, moving vaguely. “But I’m trying to learn…I already love you so it means I can love our daughter too. She’s a part of you. I hope she looks like you, I hope she has all your traits.”

A quiet falls in the room, Xavier’s cries transitioning into hiccups. Seth, himself, can’t breathe—unsure if he’s heard Randy correctly. The big man is still expressionless, it looks like he hasn’t moved a single muscle but he’s looking into Xavier’s eyes, his fingers hooked under Xavier’s chin.

“Randy…”

“I mean it Xavier, I don’t joke around, you know that. We’re keeping the child, I just hope I won’t screw this up.”

Randy’s, “Oof!” sounds in the hospital room. Xavier has his arms squeezed tightly around his man’s neck, face buried in Randy’s neck. Seth watches as Xavier slowly pulls away to kiss Randy’s lips. The kiss makes him feel uncomfortable, it’s too intimate—too deep for him to look at. He tries to look away but Randy’s moved from Xavier’s lips to kiss his forehead. It’s tender, as if the young man in his arms is his most treasured possession. Well not possession, but you know what he means.

“Thank you,” Xavier whispers, his hands are cupping Randy’s cheeks. “You’re not your family, Randall. I’ve seen how deeply you can love, you show me all the time. You protect me, you take care of me, you guide me. You’re my best friend, you’re everything to me. And you love me, you love me so much Randall. And sometimes I hate you for it, but it shows…that you can love our child the same way. Our daughter.”

Pale blue eyes light up, Seth getting to see the apathetic man reveal emotion for the first time that day. “You’re over 20 weeks then? They were able to give the gender.”

“Guess so, the doctor gave me information but I was too scared. I wasn’t listening.”

“He’s 21 weeks and a few days,” the words leave Seth before he can stop himself.

Xavier and Randy look at him, as if they’re only now realizing that there’s someone else in the room with them. Randy’s eyes have reverted to their dead state while Xavier looks relieved, he’s so beautiful despite his blotchy face. “Seth, you’re here.”

“Mhm,” Seth hums going to stand in front of the couple. Randy’s arms have tightened around Xavier’s again, his protective instincts kicking in. Seth suppresses an eye roll. Like he’d do anything to Xavier. “Congratulations, you two! I have no doubt in my mind, you’re going to make excellent parents.”

“See…” Xavier tilts his head to look at Randy, “even Seth knows we’ll make fine parents. And I trust his judgement better than Dean’s.”

“What about Dean?” the doors open and in walks Dean carrying a McDonald’s bag. “Oh, Randall’s finally come. I’m taking it you worked things out, I’m not getting any funeral vibes.”

Xavier is nodding enthusiastically, a grin spreading his lips. “I’m going to be a mother!”

“And I’m going to be an uncle…to five freaking babies! Imagine that.”

“Five?” Randy whispers into Xavier’s ear, kissing his temple.

“Seth and Roman are having quadruplets,” Dean answers before Xavier can say anything.

Randy’s whistle fills the hospital room, Seth has no idea what it means. “Congratulations, Rollins. You guys don’t waste time, eh? How long ago was it that you left Tampa?”

Seth shrugs, forcing a smile from his lips. It’s hard, because he’s been trying to forget and now _his_ name is being brought up and Seth doesn’t want to think about him. “I don’t know…nearly six months maybe? I’m not counting.”

“He’s so happy, he’s not even paying attention to anything else.” Dean says, sticking his tongue out at Seth.

_Don’t cry._

The forced smile deepens, it’s a Cheshire cat grin now but he’s dying on the inside. It feels like he’s given his heart to a man who enjoys ripping it into pieces and trampling on it before throwing it back to his face again. And he, foolishly, gives it back to the same man to repeat the process over and over again.

“Seth…can you please apologize to Roman for me? For last night?” Xavier pleads quietly.

“You don’t have to apologize for anything, he was being a dickwad. He has no right to threaten your decisions. This is your body, Xavier.”

“And it’s his house, so he had his right too. I’m just…I hope it didn’t cause any friction between the two of you,” Xavier whispers.

“N-No,” Seth clears his throat. “He managed to calm down at home. He understands where you were coming from, I explained things to him.”

“Thank you!” Xavier gets his innocent smile, his eyes sparkling. He’s clearly relieved. “So where is he?”

“He has a few errands today. Anyway, did Dr. Nielsen say anything about your discharge?”

“I’m leaving at nine. Dr. Nielsen’s going to check on me soon.”

“Okay, I gave Dean the codes to the house and Bobby will fetch you, I sent him a text on the way here. I need to do a few things today, visit Lion Heart and I have a few errands of my own. So I’m guessing this is goodbye, we’ll discuss future visits. Maybe I’ll come over there for the weekend?”

“Sure,” Xavier speaks first. “Thank you so much Seth, for everything.”

“’M not sure what ‘m being thanked for but okay.” Seth hugs Xavier, not as tight as he’d like to because his cold boyfriend is with them. He hugs Dean next, laughing softly at his sexual jokes. “I’ll miss you guys.”

“We’re never too far away princess. I know you’ll be seeing me very soon,” Dean brings him in for another hug, whispering. “We need to discuss Xavier’s baby shower.”

“Right, right,” Seth hums in agreement. “Talk via text?”

“Sure thing, princess. I love you.”

“Love you too, Dean.”

Outside Xavier’s hospital room, Seth allows his feet to carry him to Dr. Baldwin’s office. He knocks twice before opening the door. “Good morning, doctor.”

“Mr. Roll—I mean Anoa'i, did you need any assistance?”

Seth tugs at his hoodie, trying to seem casual under Dr. Baldwin’s scrutiny. “Yes, as a matter of fact I do. I was wondering if we could do an ultrasound scan. Just to check if my babies are still fine, I couldn’t breathe properly last night and I’m just…worried, I guess.”

Dr. Baldwin’s furrowed eyebrows make him nervous, he hopes nothing is showing. He hopes his panic isn’t visible. He feels like crying all over again, but forces himself not, grateful when the greying doctor guides them into a vacant OB/GYN office. Seth gets on the examination table, lifting his clothing while Dr. Baldwin sets up. He rests his right hand next to his waist, there are bruises there that he’d rather the doctor didn’t see.

He’s crying as they look at the sonogram of the babies. It’s a mixture of sadness and joy. Dr. Baldwin informs him that the babies are healthy as ever, growing as they should. And that nothing’s really changed from when he had his scan on Friday to now. It’s a relief for Seth, he’d been worried when Roman’s hands were around his throat. He’d been worried for their children.

Exiting the hospital, he finds the black Bentley Bentayga he came with. It’s 10:00 a.m. meaning Xavier and squad have long left for the mansion. Seth knows he’ll find them still at home should he go now. And he doesn’t want that. He’s craving solitude desperately at the moment. So he drives off with no real destination in mind. He finds himself on Lincoln road, and figures he could visit a few art galleries. But he decides to buy breakfast first, something light to not upset his stomach.

It’s 02:00 p.m. and he’s bought a number of things he doesn’t even need when he begins the drive back home. Seth hasn’t heard from Roman the entire day, there are no calls on his phone. He received a few texts from a couple of friends but nothing from Roman. And for once Seth hasn’t the urge to get in touch with him. Because he doesn’t know what he’ll say to the man. His worry over Roman remains though, it’s always there. Never leaving him.

He finds Manuia at home waiting in the living room. The look on his face makes Seth tense. “Hey, Manuia.” He greets, placing his shopping bags next to him as he settles on the couch next to the man.

“Seth, where is Roman?”

This whole scenario feels too familiar. Seth’s taken back to when Roman first pulled his disappearing acts on him. It seems like so long ago now and he’s trying not to think how much his heart has been breaking since they first made things official.

“I don’t know,” he answers honestly. “He left last night.”

Manuia’s sigh is heavy. “What happened?”

“I…don’t know,” Seth’s eyebrows knit together in a frown. “One minute we were h-happy…and then he, he…I don’t know what’s bothering him Manuia. He won’t talk to me a-about Tyler. He got angry when Xavier s-said he wanted an abortion. We came home and I asked him about Tyler. H-He shut down and I-I, m-maybe you w-were right Manuia. M-Maybe I should’ve gone with s-someone else. Loving—him, it’s too hard for me to handle. He won’t meet me halfway. I-I don’t k-know w-what he w-wants from me.”

Seth loathes the tears leaving him. He’s crying again, his traitorous tears falling freely. He can feel Manuia’s arms tightening around him. The comfort is there but it’s not enough. It’s Roman’s touch he craves, and maybe he’s some twisted masochist. Because how he can he crave someone who’s bringing him so much pain? How can he crave for the same man who hurts him without the slightest hesitation? He wants the same man who proved to him last night that he doesn’t give a fuck.

“I…don’t know what to say, Seth. I don’t want to say I told you so. Because I really thought this would work out. You guys were doing so well. But it’s my fault, I should’ve spoke to him more. This wouldn’t have happened if I talked to him more. I can’t even remember the last time I did that.”

“’S not your fault,” Seth shakes his head, gasping in pain. “I w-was a f-fool for thinking we’d work o-out. I-I should’ve t-taken y-your advice. N-Now I’m preg-nant. I—don’t know what to do, Manuia.”

“Don’t make any hasty decisions, I’ll take you to bed. Rest up a bit, and I’ll look for Roman. Hopefully he hasn’t gone too far.”

Seth nods his head, he lifts off the couch, but he’s shaky and finds himself falling back on the couch again. Manuia lifts him into his arms, carrying him upstairs. Seth can feel Manuia tensing as he enters the bedroom. “Where did the blood come from?”

And it’s his turn to tense in Manuia’s arms, Seth swallows the glass in his throat. “H-He w-was punching the wall. I-I think h-he wanted t-to hurt m-me, I-I saw it…h-his fist.”

“What?” it’s barely a whisper.

“But h-he didn’t!” he’s quick to add, shaking his head furiously. “H-He didn’t h-hit me.”

“Are you sure, Seth? You can tell me if he did something,” Manuia’s features are strained, his voice tense.

“I’m sure,” Seth whispers, braving eye contact.

Manuia looks at him for what feels like forever before he nods his head. “Okay,” he releases a relieved breath. “Get changed and go to sleep. I’ll go grab your water downstairs.”

Seth obeys, rushing to the walk-in closet to change. He hastily puts on a pair of sweatshorts but leaves the turtleneck and hoodie on. He’s still trembling, and crying always leaves him feeling cold. He needs the warmth. “Thank you, Manuia.” He whispers once the big man comes back with his water. “Please tell Masina to put my food away if I don’t wake up in time for supper. I’m tired, all I want to do is sleep.”

Manuia nods affirmative, kissing his brown hair. “But you’ll have to get up eventually. I’ll set an alarm for 08:00 on your phone. Eat please, don’t forget to take care of your wellbeing. You’re no longer just looking out for yourself, sweetheart.”

“I will, thanks again Manuia.” Seth closes his eyes after Manuia leaves, trying his hardest to ignore his pounding headache. It’s a struggle, but he falls asleep eventually, his left hand protectively covering his abdomen.

The next time he wakes up, it’s completely dark outside. His alarm startles him, and he nearly throws his phone across the room. Seth sits up the bed, groaning as he feels the repercussions of Roman’s actions on his body. He switches off his alarm, looking at his phone for any missed calls. There’s nothing.

He doesn’t want to cry, he really doesn’t. But the water dam threatens to spill over. His heart is cracking for the millionth time today. It’s breaking him how he’s dying to hear Roman’s voice. Seth won’t call him though, he won’t try to connect with him at all. He sends Manuia a quick text instead.

_Hey, any luck?_

He doesn’t ask anything else. It’s straightforward enough. He’s getting out of bed when his phone chirps with a message. Seth’s never snatched his phone faster.

_Manuia: Nothing yet. I’ll find him though, don’t worry too much._

Seth laughs bitterly at Manuia’s message, he knows the not worrying part comes from a good place. But how can he not, not worry? He’s in love with Roman. He cares for him, so much that he thinks it surpasses the care for his own wellbeing sometimes. So of course he’s worried. He can never not be worried.

He doesn’t respond to Manuia’s message, but he grabs his phone as he heads to the kitchen for his food. The house is too silent, even the air is stale. It threatens to suffocate him. In the kitchen, he finds his food and forces himself to eat for the sake of the babies. Done, he rinses his plate, going back upstairs.

Light blinds him when he enters his bedroom. His eyes find the blood stains just above the headboard. He thinks Roman may have split his knuckles open with how hard he’d been punching on the wall. The images threaten to taunt him but he chases them away.

Settled on the bed, Seth stares into nothing, his arm folded around his belly. The bedroom is too silent, too cold. It has him shivering despite the warm clothing he has on. Seth feels so alone, so helpless. And he doesn’t know what to do. He has no idea what’s supposed to happen. Or where to go. He releases a shaky sigh, not even preventing his tears from falling.

He gets up a little while later, going to the walk-in closet. He grabs a small duffel bag, filling it with overnight clothing. And before he can help himself, he grabs a small suitcase, and he’s packing a few of his clothes inside, his heavy sobs growing louder by the minute. He doesn’t want to do this but his hands are moving faster than his brain can keep up.

He walks out with the small suitcase and duffel bag, opening his drawer. He grabs his pregnancy journal, placing it carefully in the suitcase. And then he tears a single page out of another notebook he keeps in the drawer. He grabs a pen, and tries to scribble a note to _him._ He doesn’t know what to say. He wants to say a lot of things.

He wants to tell the royal that he loves him, more than words could ever explain. But he wants to tell the man that he hates him too, so much. He wants to tell Roman that he can’t handle the rollercoaster ride anymore. It’s too much for him to take. And he wants to apologize, because he promised he wouldn’t do this. But the royal’s left him no choice. And even though he can’t do what’s best for himself, he still needs to do what’s best for their babies. Because Roman’s not ready. He’s not ready…

_You’re not ready._

He writes the words shakily, untidily, paper getting wet with tears. And then he leaves it on the bed.

Seth rests against the door once outside their bedroom, his heart is beating far too loudly. He’s not sure how that’s possible because it also feels like it’s cracking into a billion pieces. It hurts to walk down the stairs, every step is reluctant, his heart protesting against the movement. He makes it downstairs eventually and pauses near the stairway. Where is he supposed to go?

He collapses on top of his suitcase, holding his duffel bag to him. The tears are still on his face as he ponders on what to do. He can’t go to Naomi’s house, she’s part of Roman’s family. He can’t be with them at the moment. He needs to be away from anything that will bind him to Roman. Seth grabs his phone, trembling as he scrolls through his contacts. He hopes he’s dialing the right number as he puts his phone against his ear.

“Pretty boy, what’s up?!”

Seth swallows the lumps in his throat, “E-Elias…” he begins, voice breaking. “I-I need your help.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I googled the laws regarding abortion in Florida. According to the info I got, abortion is allowed until 24 weeks there. So I hope that's accurate. Thoughts?


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya! Look, this is angst. Only angst. And nothing but angst. Sorry, thank you!

“Please excuse this mess, I was polishing my writing skills when you called,” Elias announces, as they enter his living room. “I have a feeling the whole psychology thing ain’t for me. I’ll be terrible at it,” It’s said jokingly, but Seth thinks the man means it, there’s an underlying seriousness in his tone.

He clears his throat, looking around Elias’ hippie home, he wouldn’t have noticed the litter of papers on the old brown couch if Elias hadn’t brought it to his attention to be honest. His mind is all over the place, it’s funny how Elias’ messy living room represents exactly what’s going on in his mind.

“’S okay,” he says finally.

“I’ll show you to your room,” Elias is still moving, entering the hallway. They pass three cherrywood doors before Elias stops abruptly. He opens the door, wheeling Seth’s suitcase inside. “Alright pretty boy, here we are. You can…get settled. I’ll bring you some fresh linen.”

Alone, the brunet looks around the guestroom. It’s…different. A good different…he guesses. The guestroom holds the same characteristics as the rest of Elias’ house. It’s a hippie wonderland. One of the first things Seth notices is that the room’s very neat—surprisingly. Elias is a hipster after all so Seth can’t be blamed for assuming that man would follow the lifestyle to the tee. Christmas lights decorate every corner of the ceiling, there are Lou Reed posters on the walls, The Beatles too but there are too many Jimi Hendrix posters than Seth can count.

The vinyl discs glued to the walls just above the bed are…interesting. The whole room is interesting, quirky. Seth thinks it represents Elias perfectly. Bohemian print curtains frame the tall windows, they are beautiful but Seth finds himself feeling scorched. He goes to open the windows, framing the curtains to the sides to let in some fresh air. He knows it’s futile though, the suffocating feeling he has, has nothing to do with how hot the room is.

A knock on the door has him standing at attention. The door opens, and in walks Elias, clean white linen in hand. “Will you need you with the sheets?”

“N-No, I can handle it thanks.”

“Alright,” Elias folds his arms across his chest. For a while, they look at each other, Seth awkward. He can tell that Elias is trying to figure him out. He hadn’t explained anything to the man other than asking him to fetch him at Roman’s house. It took Elias two hours to get to the mansion, he’d gotten lost along the way, Seth hasn’t been clear enough with the directions. “So you’ll find me at the den?”

“Sure,” Seth nods reluctantly, all he wants to do is sleep honestly.

Elias has closed the door when it opens again, his head peeking inside. “Man, I didn’t even ask if you’re hungry. Forgive my poor manners, can I whip you up a meal, pretty boy? Anything you want, and I’ll make it. It may not look like it but I’m a damn good chef.”

“…’m not really hungry Elias, but thanks for the offer.”

“You sure?” Elias cocks an eyebrow.  

“Yes,” Seth reassures him, uncomfortably shifting his weight from one foot to the other. “I think I want to hog your water more than anything.”

Elias laughs, low and husky. “Alright, pretty boy. Knock yourself out.”

Immediately the door closes, Seth tasks himself with making the bed. He folds the previous linen and stores it in a hamper near the door he’s assumes leads to the bathroom. A peek inside said door reveals that his suspicions were correct. He grabs his suitcase, Elias left it near the door.

The frustration threatens to spill over when he realizes that he brought no toiletries. “Dammit!” it comes out whispered, his eyes quivering. He sighs, attempting to remain calm. There’s no need to stress himself out more than he already is. Elias is probably wise enough to have spare toiletry in his bathroom anyway.

There’s a lock in this room, so Seth goes to lock the door, double checking to see that the door won’t open before deciding to undress. He folds his clothes, placing them on the bed and walks to the bathroom naked. He finds some clean towels in the closet and grabs two—one to utilize inside the bathroom and the other to cover himself up. Seth plucks a new toothbrush from the stand, rinsing it and coating it with toothpaste.

No matter how hard he tries not to, his eyes keep drifting to inspect the bruises on his neck. He can’t remember the last time they looked this bad, he thinks it’s the worst his neck’s ever looked. It’s the same for the rest of his body—there’s too much going on with his skin that he can’t even describe how bad it looks. But he remembers…how vicious Roman’s hands were. And how it felt like there’d been a knife stuck in his windpipe. How he couldn’t breathe, with Roman’s fingers clawing into his skin. How he couldn’t seem to get through to Roman, no matter how hard he’d tried. He doesn’t want to think about how wild Roman’s eyes were, he doesn’t…

An exhausted sigh emits out of his trembling lips when he submerges himself in warm water, he feels like he’s been run over by a freight train a million times over. And if possible, he’d like to sleep until maybe it’s time to give birth. But he knows it won’t happen, he doesn’t think he’ll be able to sleep at all tonight. Not until he hears from Manuia, but even then, the worry is still there. He’s worried about a lot of things. How Manuia and Roman will react once they realize he’s left. Especially Roman. Because he promised he wouldn’t leave…

_You did the right thing._

He’s been trying to convince himself that he’s done the right thing since he left the mansion. There’s a niggling feeling of doubt that’s been trying to convince him otherwise. Halfway here, he’d almost asked Elias to take him back home. Because he knows it’s where he belongs. But he couldn’t…he _can’t_ because he’s putting the babies first. Roman is too troubled, and Seth…he can’t risk what happened last night happening again. If Roman loses all self-control next time…

There won’t be a next time. It’s the reason he’s here, with Elias. And Roman, hopefully he’ll understand. Once he finds out, and gets Seth’s reasoning, hopefully he’ll realize that it’s best that they’re apart.

After cleaning Elias’ bathroom, Seth towels himself hastily, rushing back into the bedroom. He scans Elias’ drawers, looking for lotion. If he has the energy, he’ll have to buy himself new toiletry tomorrow. That is if he’ll have the courage to actually leave this house. He finally finds the lotion in the third drawer.

He’s undecided on what to wear that’s light enough to lessen how hot he feels but also hide the bruises on his body. Sweatpants seem like a pretty good choice, and maybe a hoodie. He’ll change into something lighter after issuing his goodnights to Elias.

Mouthwatering aromas waft through the air when he exits the guestroom. He allows the smells to guide him to where Elias is. Music fills the kitchen, and Elias is singing. It takes Seth a while to recognize the song, it’s Johnny Rivers' ‘Baby, I Need Your Lovin.’’ He clears his throat, trying to get the hipster’s attention, it’s a fail. Elias has back turned to him, working on whatever’s he making.

Seth taps on his shoulder, standing back when Elias whips around so fast, Seth would’ve collided with him. The man looks him up and down, a smile stretching his lips. “You done stealing my water?” is asked teasingly.

“Yes, um, thank you...” he tries for a smile that ends up coming to strained.

“Well, why don’t you go and make yourself comfortable at the den? I was watching Friends. I have the entire collection on DVR.”

Seth doesn’t want to, all he wants to do is sleep. It’s quite late, just a little after midnight, and he’s not in the mood for any light conversations…or some heavy ones. He has a fleeting suspicion that he will be interrogated. And he really doesn’t want to, not tonight. But he still finds himself nodding okay, fleeing to the living room.

He settles, distractedly watching the episode on the screen. He wouldn’t be able to tell you what’s happening if you asked him, but he’s grateful for the noise. It helps quieten the one going on in his own mind.

Elias joins him a while later, carrying two plates. They are placed on the wooden coffee table before Elias leaves again. A second later and the hipster's back, carrying two beer cans. “Know you said you ain’t hungry but I couldn’t resist. Here—my famous chargrilled Avocado and Chicken Salad. It’s light enough for you to eat, pretty boy.” Elias gives him the beautifully decorated plate.

“Thank you,” Seth eats silently, eyes focused on the screen, not that he actually knows what’s going on with Ross and Rachel now. But he can feel Elias’ stare burning holes into his face, it’s uncomfortable.

“You smell like me, it’s a good scent on you.”

“I forgot to bring my toiletries…sorry,” his body heats up, such an inconvenience—he’s already so volcanic.

“Hey man, I’m not complaining…” Seth can hear it in his voice, despite Elias’ level tone, there’s an underlying elation in it too. “You not thirsty?”

“I prefer juice, if you have it? Or a water’s fine.”

Elias’ features reveal curiosity. His sparkling eyes remind Seth of a columnist prowling for the latest gossip. But he asks nothing, thankfully. The man lifts off the couch instead, disappearing into the kitchen. “OJ for the gorgeous deity,” a glass of orange juice is placed in front of him.

“Thanks,” Seth’s going to ignore the gorgeous deity part.

He’s almost done with his food when Elias speaks up again, “So…trouble in paradise?”

Seth’s stomach drops to his feet, appetite leaving him in a matter of seconds. Nausea steals the spotlight, making him want to retch the food he’s just been eating. “It’s…complicated.” A pained breath sneaks past his lips.

“Don’t you all say that? I’m going to take a guess and say the rich playboy fucked up...”

Seth’s eyes curve left, settling on Elias, the man’s face is filled round with food, making his prying eyes appear smaller. “I don’t want to talk about him,” his lips press together. There’s a strong urge fighting to lash out at Elias on behalf of Roman. It’s instinct, to protect the royal. His reputation.

“Fine by me,” Elias’ hands lift in surrender, he almost drops his plate to the floor. “But I’m not going to be slapped with any lawsuits right? He is very possessive after all.”

“I can leave, if you’re uncomfortable, I’ll find elsewhere to stay.”

“No!” Elias is too quick to respond, gripping Seth’s wrist. “It was a joke, Seth. You need to chill out.”

“Okay,” Seth pulls out of Elias’ touch. Elias’ joke wasn’t very funny to him, but he’s not in the mood for any arguments. He’s not even energetic enough to talk but here he is, entertaining a probing hipster. “Look, I’m really exhausted Elias. I’d like to go to sleep, if you won’t need help with anything.”

“Nah, I’m good. I’ll sort out this mess. But I want you to know, pretty boy…I’m here for you. Anything you need to talk about, I’m the first pitstop. Talk to me when you’re ready,” Elias’ hand settles on his shoulder.

Seth shrinks away from the touch, lifting off the couch. “I’ll head to bed.”

Elias hums thoughtfully, observing him. And then he stands up, the hug Seth’s brought to surprises him. Elias’ arms tighten around his waist while Seth’s hands hang limply at his sides. “Everything’s going to be okay, Seth. Have a good night.”

“Goodnight,” Seth returns, eyes watering. Nothing’s going to be okay, he’s away from the man he’s in love with. And he has no idea where said man is. If Roman’s okay at all. He’d looked unwell as he staggered out of their bedroom last night. And Seth would’ve followed him, without the slightest hesitation. But he’d been in pain, unable to move a single muscle in his body. And still too shook up.

Seth gets beneath the covers, hugging a large fluffy pillow to him. It smells fresh, clean but it’s really not the same. Everything is so strange, so different. Roman’s exotic scent isn’t there to comfort him. The royal’s hard body isn’t cocooning him, there’s no safety, no contentedness, no comfort. And even though Seth’s sleeping on what would be considered Roman’s side of the bed were he at home, everything is still so foreign. Despite the homely feel of Elias’ house, it still brings no warmth.

Sleep evades him, making him toss and turn in bed, trying to get comfortable. He lies awake, the hours ticking by, a multitude of thoughts churning in his head. Finally giving up, he sits up, scanning the strange room. The moon creeps in through the open windows, fusing the darkness with a silver. The light casts strange shadows in the room, making him feel uneasy for some reason—unsafe. There’s a burdened yearning in his heart, in his soul. It feels like something’s missing. Something _is_ missing.

Seth releases a tremulous sigh, for the millionth time. His feet touch the carpeted floor, his right hand turning on the bedside lamp. A dim orange fills the room, and his feet carry him to the closet. He retrieves his suitcase, wheeling it next to the bed. Silent tears fall down his cheeks as he carelessly throws out item after item to the floor, in search for _that_ shirt.

The panic is simmering beneath the surface with each piece of clothing that he throws on the floor. He’s sure he packed it, he’s sure. _It has to be here_ . “Please, please…” he cries quietly, hands becoming more frantic, panicked. A breath he didn’t know he was holding escapes him, his heart restarting. _It’s here._ Seth hastily removes every item of clothing off of his body, craving to feel the fabric touch his skin. To feel _his_ scent enveloping him. _His home._

It feels like Roman’s arms are around him as he buttons the shirt to his body. It feels like Roman is with him, all around him—comforting him. Seth grabs the hoodie he wore earlier, Roman’s scent is slowly fading but it’s there nonetheless. When he slumps on the bed again, the hoodie is placed on top of the white pillow. Seth rests his head on it, hugging the pillow tightly.

He meets warm brown eyes when his eyes close. Roman’s staring back at him, tired gaze unwavering. He’s not sure what the royal’s looking for but the man’s lips are twitching. Slowly, Seth’s lips quirk up too, a relaxed smile playing on his lips. His heart settles, mind in complete silence.

_Seth lies perfectly still next to the body in bed, watching Roman sleep. He can still feel the weight of Roman’s body on his, pressing him deeper into the bed. He can still taste the royal’s lips, intoxicating and addictive. The pulsating of his dick, each thrust burning him from inside out. How Roman’s skilled touches would draw out the deepest parts of his soul._

_It was more than he could’ve ever anticipated._

_And he really hates the stupid butterflies flapping viciously in his stomach with each second spent staring at the sleeping royal. He scoots closer to the hot Adonis, muscles screaming in protest. It’s the aftereffects of their coupling. There’s a tingling of swollen lips, a chafing to his sensitive body, an ache in his rear. But he has no regrets, the pain he’s going through now doesn’t hold a burning candle to how intensely he feels._

_With each second he spends watching an unguarded Roman, his heart swells. He thinks it’s…love. Such a dangerous feeling to have, it’s too soon. But Roman had managed to lure it out of him somehow. Seth thinks he hadn’t stood a chance. If he’d been holding back before, tonight broke his resolve. With his fingers, Roman had left him bare. Vulnerable._

_But never has he felt this content. This…at peace. His mind is consumed only by thoughts of the man in bed with him. The entirety of soul completely immersed in Roman. “I…” he holds back, heart suddenly beating far too erratically. Can he really say the words?_

_No._

_Slowly he snuggles closer to Roman, pressing the bare skin of his chest to Roman’s. It’s warm against his skin and he releases a quiet exhale. “I belong to you,” he whispers quietly, readying himself to reveal what his lips desperately need to say. “…and I love you.”_

_He shifts away slightly, observing Roman’s face for any indication he heard the words. Nothing. But the royal’s eyebrows furrow together, his breathing still even. Good. Seth thinks maybe the royal isn’t ready to hear the words. It’s still so soon, he doesn’t want to scare Roman away._

_Turning on his side, a silent sigh slips past his lips. Roman’s arm had immediately drawn him to the royal’s hard chest when he turned, Roman’s strong body cocooning him. It’s too hot to be honest, even with the AC. But he doesn’t mind the scorching feeling one bit. How can he when he’s in the arms of the man he loves?_

* * *

 

His footsteps are silent against the floor, robotic. Lifeless is the name of the man rhythmically throwing punches at the tall leather punching bag in front of him. His mind is failing to register the pain pounding his entire body. It’s the reason the man’s feet, bloodied and bruised continue to crunch the shattered glass on the floor. It’s the reason his knuckles, split and even bloodier incessantly attack the damaged punching bag as if the man were fighting the devil himself. The man’s muscles are screaming, wailing in protest because the pain is more than anyone should take. But it’s still not registering.

How can it when numbness is all Roman’s feeling?

He is trapped in a black hole, much too steep to escape from. He has no idea how to escape. There is no light, no sound, no feeling. Just…emptiness. He can feel the absence seeping into his bones, into the entirety of his soul. Consuming him. He growls, falling to the messy floor when the punching flies towards him, violently colliding with his face. A bead of blood trails down next to the corner of his left eye.

Stubborn, Roman stands up, robotically charging towards the punching bag again. And with each hit, the memories creep in, sneakily, predatory.

_“Leati…do you ever wonder about death?”_

_Normally Roman would be melting, besides his parents, Tyler is the only who calls him Leati. And the Lanuolan teenager loves it when Tyler calls him that. His name always sounds better leaving Tyler’s lips. “Not really,” he responds finally. Because he doesn’t, and he’s not even sure why Tyler’s asking. Death is an uncomfortable subject to ponder on._

_“But what do you think happens to us when we die?”_

_“I don’t know,” Roman’s lips purse together, he brings Tyler to him, folding his body around Tyler’s smaller one. Their hands entwine, his lips touching Tyler’s heavenly smelling golden hair. “My dad says we join our ancestors. But he also mentioned something about dimensions but you know I don’t always listen to the old timer. I  hope we join our ancestors though, imagine living in another Palace in the spirit world. Having all the food in the world, floating on clouds…haunting people. It could be fun.”_

_Tyler chuckles, “I don’t think a ghost gets hungry, Leati. I’m not sure you’d appreciate being haunted so I don’t know why you’d want to do it to someone else. But I wouldn’t mind floating on clouds and travelling to all the parts of the world.”_

_“When we’re older, I’ll take you anywhere you want. No one but you and me—seeing Africa, Europe, Asia.”_

_A silence over them, it’s comfortable, always is between them. Sometimes they don’t need any words, Roman finds that they always converse more in the silence. Their souls. He focuses on the salmon skies flooding over the sea. The sun is slowly setting, the darkness deepening. They should probably begin the trek back to the Palace but Roman can’t bring himself to speak up. He’s feeling selfish today, he wants Tyler all to himself._

_Tyler stands suddenly, wandering closer to the sea. It has Roman mimicking the action, he crouches behind a kneeling Tyler. The waves are gently drenching the sand, the water entrancing. A fish lands ashore, flapping around in clear anguish. It’s gaping, and jumping far too wildly._

_Roman watches his animal lover gently lift the struggling creature into his hands. Tyler stands again, wandering off deeper into the sea. And then he kneels in the water, clearly unperturbed about getting wet. “You do know, you’ve just released our dinner right?” Roman asks as soon as Tyler is within earshot._

_The small boy rolls his eyes, “I don’t think so,” they settle near the sea this time, watching the waves creeping steadily towards them. “Do you think your ancestors could adopt me?”_

_“What?” Roman cocks his head in confusion._

_“When I die, can I join them?” Tyler’s eyes are staring into the distance, posture slumped. “I don’t think I’d want to meet my mom’s family.”_

_“You’re already part of my family, auleilei. I’ll marry you one day, and when you die…when we both die, we’re meeting in the next dimension. And my ancestors, they’ll be so happy to know you. They’ll throw us a fucking party because we’re so perfect together. They’ll celebrate our love with us.”_

_For a while Tyler says nothing, his eyes resembling the grey clouds just before the rain. And then they change, taking on the entrancing blue of the ocean on a bright sunny day. “And you think I’ve got an overactive imagination,” it’s said teasingly._

_“Hey, I’m not the one who thinks cockroaches are conspiring against humans.” Roman’s lips purse together, trying to hide his amusement._

_“Psh, just wait until we’re wiped off the face of the earth. We’ll see what you’ll be saying then.” Tyler climbs onto his lap, his hands cupping Roman’s cheeks. “But I won’t mind much, if it means we’ll be together in this…dimension. With your ancestors.”_

_“Of course, nothing will tear us apart. Nothing.”_

_A pleased hum emits Tyler’s lips, “Nothing,” he confirms, eyes crinkling at the corners._

“No, no, no,” Roman shakes his head furiously, trying to drive everything away. He can slowly feel his lungs filling with water, every dark emotion, every memory, every ghost, wanting to attack him all at once. He can’t allow that to happen, he refuses. He needs to feel numb, empty. The absence of feeling was friendlier, it was his friend. He was finding solitude in it.

The blood that was trailing from his left eye has mixed with his sweat, with his silent tears. He refuses to let any sounds leave him now, he’s biting on his bottom lip enough to draw blood. Anything to reach out instead of inside. But it’s proving impossible, no matter how hard he punches the torn leather bag. His knuckles crack, weeping blood from how carelessly they’re being treated.

_He finds Seth in the kitchen, wearing nothing but his shirt. It’s too big on him, like most of Roman’s clothing, but the royal thinks the man looks gorgeous. Even though Seth is turned away from him, and is yet to notice his presence. He appears to be drinking coffee, if the fresh brew in the coffee pot gives any indication._

_Roman stares for a while, too hesitant to interrupt Seth. He can see it, the bruises on Seth's neck showing just slightly from the side that isn’t covered by his hair. It makes his stomach revolt with disgust in himself, at his actions. He wants to do a 180, rush upstairs and hightail it out of here. It’s his inner coward, always wanting to run away from his problems._

_But he can’t, he doesn’t want to be away from Seth. It would be selfish of him. And although he’s scared, it’s the reason he’s still here, wanting to take care of the man he loves. His footsteps are always silent, it’s the reason Seth remains turned away from him, unaware of his presence. Or maybe Seth’s too distracted, usually he can sense him in an instant._

_Roman’s arms fold around Seth’s middle, his head resting behind tousled brown hair. A shaky exhale reaches his ears, the aroma of coffee reaching his nostrils. No words leave him, but Seth is just as quiet. He’s languidly sipping his coffee, eyes fixed on the manicured grounds. Roman kisses the tip of his right ear, it causes Seth to squirm in his arms, probably ticklish._

_He waits until Seth is done with his coffee before speaking quietly, “Bend over.”_

_Immediately Seth nods okay, Roman backtracks a bit, giving the brunet space to lay his upper body on the island. He kisses the back of Seth’s head, guiltily kissing his neck, his shoulders. He goes down and down, kissing Seth through the button up he’s wearing. Getting down on one knee, he carefully lifts the shirt on Seth’s body up, holding it to the brunet’s waist._

_The marks on Seth's waist can’t be evaded, not matter how hard Roman tries. But still he tries to avoid looking at the purple skin, focusing his attention on the one area he really wants to tend to. His right hand spreads Seth’s ass cheek to expose his entrance. He tries not to groan too loudly at the sight before him but he can’t help it. Nor can he help the way his jaw ticks, frustration in himself for causing this. Seth’s hole is blood red, quivering in it’s swollen state._

_Seth’s whimper reaches his ears as he runs his thumb along the quivering chute. “Can you hold your shirt up?” he speaks through clenched teeth, anger directed towards himself._

_The response is a wordless head nod, Seth holding the shirt up to his waist. Roman reaches inside his pocket, grabbing the ointment he usually uses to soothe Seth’s ass. He pours some on his fingers, kissing Seth’s ass cheek before spreading it again. Seth tenses as he gently rubs his oil slicked fingers over the brunet’s trembling entrance._

_Roman can tell that Seth’s in pain. No matter how hard he tries, the brunet can't stifle his sobs. Seth's ass muscles clamp down on Roman's index finger tensely. But there’s no other way, otherwise Seth will be limping around in pain for the next few days. Roman tries to be gentler, coaxing the brunet into loosening his sphincter. It takes quite a while but slowly Seth’s muscles relax, and Roman applies the oil twice more and then retracts his fingers. He rubs on Seth’s swollen entrance in circular motions, massaging it for a few minutes before kissing the area softly and standing up._

_“Thank you,” it’s all Seth ever says once Roman’s done this. And on days where he’s doing it because they’d been having too much sex, Roman smiles at the brunet’s gratitude. But on days such as these, where he—_

_“Why—?” the rest of the words are strangled by his throat before they can come out. Meeting Seth’s eye is challenging, it causes him to feel unworthy. Seth can do so much better, and he’s here with him. “Why?” he asks again, jaw clenched, eyebrows touching in blatant confusion._

_Soft hands touch his cheeks, stroking his beard. He knows Seth’s attempting to persuade him into opening his eyes. But he can’t do it. He can’t look in the eyes of the man he’s hurting. The guilt will overpower him, it’ll only make things worse. When Seth’s arms fold around his neck, he tenses, body becoming more rigid. “Because I love you, and I understand now. Love…it’s all about sacrifice.”_

A choked sob escapes him, forcing him to seek anchor from his weak knees. His hands grip his knees tighter, digging into his skin while the punching bag narrowly misses him, flailing wildly. He can’t breathe again. There’s no air, multiple sounds echo in his ears. The sounds of panic. Of undisguised wretchedness.

Roman stumbles away from the punching bag, glass stabbing into his feet. It feels like his heart is thudding far too loudly, but then it feels like it’s not beating at all. He clutches his chest, rubbing the irritated skin frantically, trying to lessen the suffocating sensation.

_“What are you reading?” Roman snatches the book before Tyler can do anything, holding it up high. He dodges Tyler’s advances, laughing as his skin transitions into a beet red color. “Ooh, erotica, auleilei?”_

_“Bring it back right now, Leati! I’m not playing.”_

_“Or what?” Roman jumps across the couch, scanning the raunchy content found inside the pages._

_“Or…or, I-I...just g-give it back!”_

_“No, maybe I want to read what’s happening between Diana and Jason. Maybe I want Jason to teach me a few things…if you know what I mean,” he waggles his eyebrows, still evading an agitated Tyler._

_“You’re a…a pest! I hate you.”_

_“Oh, but I love you. So much so, that I’m going upstairs to read this. Get a few pointers from the mysterious, dashing Jason,” he cackles loudly, making a dash for the stairs faster than Tyler can blink._

_……_

_……_

_“You’re so weird.”_

_Seth’s voice is a little breathy, mixed in with a hint of exhaustion. But Roman can detect an underlying amusement, it has his lips spreading into a Cheshire cat grin. “And how, pray tell, am I weird?”_

_“We’re destroying the fridge,” Seth says instead._

_“Mhm,” Roman hums noncommittally, he’s not sure why the lights are off. But they hadn’t flicked on when they entered the kitchen, so the refrigerator light is their source of light at the moment._

_“And you’re making me slow dance to a song about depression…it’s 03:00 a.m. Roman. Who does that?”_

_“Well you did say you were hungry…and me, loving husband and father to your kids woke up to make you some food.”_

_Seth rolls his eyes, “That you burned while forcing me to dance with you. I think I’ll just stick to Masina’s food from now on.”_

_“In my defense, eggs cook quicker than most meals. And besides…it’s the thought that counts,” Roman smirks, kissing Seth’s forehead._

_“I don’t know how I fell in love with you, you’re such a dork.”_

_“And you’re stuck with this dork,” Roman whirls Seth around, before bringing his body to him. His hand settles at the small of Seth’s back. “I honestly don’t understand how you listen to this kind of music,” he frowns, trying to figure out what Black Flag is singing about. Seth said something about depression…_

_“You don’t need to understand anything,” a quiet laugh bubbles from inside Seth’s throat. “Our babies and I do, we don’t care about you.”_

_“Damn, it’s like that?”_

_“Obviously,” Seth eyes are lit up like the stars, the shimmering moon assisting with the light makes him look cosmic. So beautiful. And his lips are stretched into a gorgeous grin. It has Roman’s heart faltering. How did he ever get so lucky?_

The memories are vengeful now, attacking him from every corner. Each one hurts, stinging, like a thousand bees swarming him. Roman stumbles out of the home gym, feet crunching dry twigs and leaves. The beauty of the salmon skies, mixed with the enchanting indigos of a sun setting fail to reach his eyes. Roman’s vision is too blurred, everything around him too chaotic. He wants to kill the waves, wants to be rid of the noises in his head. He’s craving the emptiness, he can’t stand the emotions assaulting him.

His feet guide him to the back of the house, and he’s climbing the built-in ladder leading to the rooftop. He staggers, grazing his knee, but he’s undeterred. He forces himself up, shakily walking on the rooftop. The memories are jumbled up, he can’t tell which one’s which. Seth comes into view, memories of him in Roman’s brain but he’s in Lanuola. How is that possible? And then Tyler appears, with him at the mansion, doing things he’s sure he’d done with Seth. The voices are blaring too, he’s not sure to whom they all belong to.

_A fist connects with Roman’s jaw, and he stumbles backwards. He hasn’t the time to process what’s happening before he falls head first to the marble floors. All breath leaves him, the pain knocking the air out of his lungs. He can feel the punches to his body, but he can’t. He can feel his face being battered over and over again._

_“THIS IS YOUR FAULT, YOU ENTITLED SON OF A BITCH. YOU KILLED HIM, YOU KILLED T-TYLER!”_

_Roman recognizes the voice, knows who it belongs to. He can’t refute Jey, he failed Tyler. He selfishly assumed that they were fine. That he’d love Tyler enough for both of them. But it’s not true. He failed. He failed Tyler._

_The body attacking him is dragged off of him, he’s unsure by who. But he wants to tell whoever it is to stop. He wants Jey to do this. Maybe if Jey beats him into a pulp, he’ll finally get to join Tyler. He doesn’t want to be here. He doesn’t want to be with these people. He wants to be with his family._

_“Leati? Leati, open your eyes!” someone’s nudging him, it sounds like his mother. But he doesn’t want to open his eyes. He doesn’t want to be here at all. Why won’t these people understand? “Someone call Dr. Arnolds now! Please baby, hang on for me…” the tone is teary, it’s cracking in panic. A hint of guilt stabs Roman’s heart. He’s failing his mother too. He’s hurting her. Why can’t he leave this place and make everyone happy? He’s clearly failing everyone. That’s what he is, a failure._

_……._

_……._

_“You’re hiding something from me.”_

_The small boy in the bathroom, jumps, like a scaredy cat. He hasn’t done that in a long time and it makes Roman anxious. Tyler has been behaving strangely lately. And he can’t quite put his finger on what’s going on with him. He observes the beautiful face, looking into shifty blue eyes. “What are you keeping from me, auleilei?”_

_“Nothing!” it’s snapped out, Tyler’s arms enfolding across his chest. Defensive._

_Roman ignores the agitation in his stance, speaking quietly, “You’re lying.”_

_“So you’re calling me a liar?! That’s what I am to you. That’s how little you think of me? Leave! I don’t want you in my room. Get out, Leati. You’re invading my privacy!” he’s pushed out of the bathroom, door slammed in his face._

_Roman settles on Tyler’s bed, rubbing his face frustratedly. Tyler’s been deflecting a lot lately. And he doesn’t know what’s wrong with him. Why won’t Tyler talk to him? Aren’t couples supposed to do that…talk? Maybe he’ll have to try harder, he hopes Tyler isn’t having those thoughts of worthlessness he first had when he came to the mansion. Maybe he needs to shower the boy with more love, proclaim it louder—in his actions. Yes, that’s what he’ll do._

Roman laughs frenzily at that memory. As if he could ever love anyone enough. Look at how far he got with loving Seth. He, he—

_Monster._

The word scrambles to his mind, blasting in the walls of his head. The scorching returns, burning his whole body. His veins, his bones, boiling his blood. Roman attempts to tug all pieces of clothing off of his body. But he’s in nothing but the pair of boxers he left with nearly three days ago. Roman touches his inflamed body, feeling the silky fabric on his body. He rips the boxers off, trying to get rid of the warmth.

He stumbles further to the rooftop. And he’s right at the edge of the uneven roof, looking down. It’s a long way down.

“Roman, stop!”

The royal hears that voice from a distance, but it also sounds like it’s behind him. He has no idea anymore. Not with all the noise in his head. He wants it to stop. He wants everything to stop.

“Aua e te faia, Leati!”

The tone is panicked now, it sounds like Manuia. But Roman isn’t sure what the man is asking him not to do. All he wants to do is get rid of the noise. He wants to get rid of the warmth. What is so wrong in that?

He swivels, meeting wide brown eyes. They look frightened, Manuia’s lips parted in bated breath.

“Catch me.”

He falls backwards. The wind strikes his skin on the way down. He’s free falling back into the emptiness. He hopes he is. A resounding splash sounds all around the woods when Roman lands inside the water, turning the blue into a mild crimson color. He can’t feel how chilled the water is. He sinks deeper into the water, the salmon skies disappearing from him. Everything is becoming darker. And the water is rushing to his lungs. And isn’t it poetic, how he’s drowning? He can feel himself falling into a sea of darkness. He’s sinking into an endless sea of emptiness.

The water is burning his lungs but Roman feels lighter, unburdened. The noise is his head fading and fading until he hears…nothing. He finally has control over his mind. His friend, the darkness, is slowly returning. The numbness is slithering back in. It brings a wide smile to Roman’s lips, causing even more water to rush into his lungs. He thinks he’s fading too, floating into nonexistence.

_NO!_

His mind screams in turmoil when an arm suddenly wraps around him, pulling him up. Roman instinctively sucks in huge intakes of air when his head whips out of the pool. His ribs feel like steel straps, his body starved of oxygen. Breathing feels like letting out a fiery ball of air, it’s searing the walls of his lungs.

“Roman, what the fuck were you thinking?!”

Manuia sounds furious, but Roman just stares at him blankly. Why is Manuia shouting? Can’t he tell that Roman had been trying to kill the waves of destruction? That he wanted to get rid of the pain? The water was helping, why did Manuia pull him out?

“It was silent, Manuia. What did you do?!” his growl hurts his throat, shrinks his intestines.

“You could’ve fucking died! This is not the way, Roman. Suicide is not the fucking solution!” Manuia is shouting again, Roman can’t tell whether the water on his face is from the pool or if he’s crying. He sounds like he’s crying.

“I was going to get out. I just wanted silence for a bit,” Roman responds because it’s the truth. He wasn’t trying to kill himself. He just wanted the numbness, and now Manuia’s messed it all up. Exhaustion crashes through him like a tidal wave, making him slump against Manuia’s chest. “I’m so tired, Manuia.”

“Come on, I’ll take you to bed.” Manuia helps him up, Roman balances all of his body weight onto his bodyguard. Each step back into the house hurts, his feet protesting the movement. He barely notices how wrecked the house is, broken pictures of Tyler on the ground. Shattered glass everywhere, bottles of whisky flung across the walls. He doesn’t even notice how his blood splatters most of the walls. But he does notice how Manuia stiffens as he walks them through the hallway to his bedroom.

Manuia opens the door, but pauses at the doorway, a groan leaving him. He backtracks, veering into the room Roman remembers was his nearly seven years ago. “You’ll sleep in my room, sit on the bed first. I need to tend to the wounds, on your…Jesus! I’ll be right back.” Manuia ruffles his hair, disappearing.

When Manuia comes back, he’s carrying a first aid kit. The big man kneels in front of him, “I’ll start with the cuts on your feet. I don’t think it should be that bad. But then again, the house is ruined, you’ve been here for the past three days. The damage is an accumulation of the past three days.” A heavy sigh slips past Manuia’s lips. “I’m sorry Roman. This is my fault, this wouldn’t have happened if I checked up on you. I should’ve talked to you more.”

Roman blinks his eyes rapidly, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion. What is Manuia talking about? He’s finding it hard to concentrate. Manuia’s voice reaches him, but then it breaks and drifts off. He can’t even feel the pain as Manuia removes the pieces of glass out of his feet. He’s numb again, that’s all he’d wanted. But the exhaustion is still there, threatening to overpower him. He doesn’t fight it, the darkness he’s falling into. He falls back on the bed, meeting nothing but the dark when his eyes close.

* * *

 

Seth’s phone blares to life, disrupting him from his sleep. If he can call it that, it’s been getting harder and harder to sleep with each passing day that Manuia’s not found Roman. It’s Wednesday today, three days since Roman disappeared to lord knows where.

His heart rate quickens when he looks at the caller ID, Seth swipes the phone, accepting the call shakily. “Manuia?”

“I found him.”

Maybe he hasn’t heard right, Seth can feel his body tremble. The sobs already threatening to wrack his body. “What?” he whispers, lumps forming in his throat.

“He’s in our first house, in Mount Dora. I didn’t think he’d come here because--it's a long story. But we have a house in Mount Dora.”

Seth’s already leaving the bed, scrambling to turn the bedside lamp on. The strangeness of Elias’ house hits him again. He doesn’t think he’ll get used to the man’s house. The bedside clock tells him it’s just after midnight. He doesn’t care. He’s been worried sick. And even though he’s moved out of their home, he still loves Roman. He cares for the man deeply.

“Send me the address, I want to see him.”

The line remains silent, making Seth pause his task of getting his suitcase. “Manuia?” he calls out, stomach quivering in dread. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m not sure if you should see him yet. When I found him, he was…unwell.”

“U-Unwell h-how, M-Manuia?”

“I’ll explain when we come back to Miami.”

“And when are you c-coming b-back?”

“I think we’ll stay here for a few days. A change of scenery will do him some good, Seth. The house we bought, it’s near the lake. There are attractive gardens and everything. Maybe he just needs a getaway.”

Seth clamps down on his lip, folding his legs to his chest. They have that here. Everything Manuia’s talking about, they have at the mansion. Why won’t they come home? “You’re hiding something from me, Manuia…” a pained breath leaves him. “What’s wrong? Please tell me, Row-man…he’s my h-husband,” the words hurt to utter. Guilt washing over him for not being home, but he can’t go back. Not yet.

“He’s…exhausted, asleep at the moment.”

“Then I’ll come to you. Please Manuia, if he’s asleep, he won’t even know I was there.”

The line remains silent again, much longer this time before Manuia’s heavy sigh reaches Seth’s anxious ears. “I don’t know Seth…”

“ _Please,”_ he begs, lips trembling.

Another heavy sigh, and then a quiet, “I’ll send you the address. It’s three hours away though.”

“Don’t care,” Seth is already standing on shaky feet, rushing to the closet for his suitcase. He hangs up before Manuia can say anything else, dragging his suitcase to the bed. It feels heavy, but Seth knows it has more to do with the burdened feeling in his soul more than anything.

The bruises are still there, on his body. He has a feeling they’ll take a while to disappear, especially the ones where Roman was digging his fingers into his skin. He slips on his sweatpants, a turtleneck and a black hoodie. It’s another one of Roman’s, he’d realized afterwards, just how many of Roman’s clothes he took. He’s grateful, the scent helps him sleep, especially since it’s been getting harder to do.

After tying his hair, he grabs his phone just as it chirps with a message from Manuia with the address. Seth rushes out of the guestroom, going to knock on Elias’ door. His knuckles are impatient, they bang on the hipster’s door over and over again until Elias opens up, disorientated. “Pretty boy?” Elias rubs the sleep out of his eyes.

“I need you to take me somewhere, p-please.”

Elias scrutinizes him, the tears in his eyes. And Seth tries to wipe them away, he’s been trying not to embarrass himself in front of Elias with the waterworks. He does it when he’s alone, in the darkness, where no one can see him. “Alright,” Elias must know that he’s desperate. “Let me change into something appropriate.”

Seth waits anxiously in the living room, deep breath leaving him when Elias appears five minutes later. He’s wearing sweatpants and an indie band t-shirt. “So where am I taking you, man?”

The words refuse to come out of his lips, Seth’s too worried to speak. He shoves his phone into Elias’ face, the gadget nearly smacking the hipster’s nose. Elias’ low whistle sounds in the car, “That’s quite a long drive we’ll be making.”

“I k-know, but it’s urgent.”

“It’s no bother, pretty boy. But care to tell me what’s so urgent it couldn’t wait until this morning?”

Seth leans against the window, looking out the dark streets. He doesn’t want to tell Elias, he hasn’t even told the man why he moved out of his home. “I have to see someone,” he replies quietly.

“Let me guess…the rich playboy,” resignation prowls out of the tone, bitterness too.

“Yes,” Seth squirms from the uncomfortable tension growing in the car.

“The same man who drove you out of his house. Why are you allowing this man to do this to you, Seth? He sounds like he’s too much effort.”

“I love him,” the words rush to his mouth. He discreetly tries to wipe away his tears, wrinkling his nose to prevent any more from falling.

“Sometimes love isn’t enough, Seth.”

“I know,” Seth remains looking out the closed window. He wouldn’t be here, with Elias, if love were enough. Sometimes sacrifices need to be made.

Elias sighs, loud and heavy, before he turns the radio on. It has Seth releasing his own exhale, shaky and quiet. It’s going to be a long drive, so he allows his eyes to drift shut. He’s too worried, dying to reach to Roman but maybe if he tries to get some sleep the journey won’t seem so long.

He wakes up two hours later, and notices that they’re almost there. Thirty more minutes and he’ll be with Roman. The one advantage about driving at night is that the roads are almost always empty. It’s the reason that they arrive at a beach house that Seth knows belongs to Manuia and Roman, nearly an hour earlier than it would’ve taken them had they been driving during the day.

Irritation builds inside his veins as Elias grabs his hand, preventing him from leaving. “What is it?!” it comes out ruder than he wanted. And makes him feel a bit guilty, he doesn’t want to seem ungrateful.

“Be safe, Seth.” Elias speaks cautiously, an expression on his face that Seth can’t decipher.

“I will,” he turns to leave again.

“I mean it, Seth. You have my number, if your…boyfriend tries something just call.”

What the hell is Elias talking about? Seth’s eyes shift to Elias, nose wrinkling in confusion.

“We live in Florida, pretty boy. It’s always sunny here, but you’re always wearing these…clothes. I’m not stupid, Seth. I’ve just been waiting for you to talk to me.”

Seth’s eyes widen, his lips pursing briefly. “He’s not beating me up, if that’s what you’re assuming. Please don’t make hasty assumptions, Elias. I have to go. I’ll figure my way back to your house in the morning. Thank you for the drive.”

“Are you sure?” Elias is still observing him with that weird expression.

“Yes!” he draws the word out, exiting the car. He can feel his anger towards Elias building up again. The man’s dislike for Roman irks him. And to assume that Roman would put his hands on him?! Unbelievable!

The roughness in which Roman uses his body sometimes, Seth understands. Roman has a lot of demons he needs to overcome, and sometimes the man takes it out on his body. He used to, but after they got into that argument about separate bedrooms, Seth has been leaving the bed whenever Roman gets one of his dreams. Even though he’ll still be in the room, Roman never notices his presence while robotically charging out of their bedroom for the home gym.

He knocks on the white oak door twice, waiting with bated breath for it to open. A light flickers on, and Seth can hear the heavy footsteps coming from inside the house. “Where is he?” he skids past Manuia, rushing into the foreign house. And then his heart, that’s beating far too erratically, crumbles when he enters a totaled living room. The small splatters of blood on the walls cause his chest to clench painfully.

The stupid waterworks burst again, his breathing uneven. He just knows the blood belongs to Roman. His mind hardly pays attention to the skew photos of Tyler on the wall, much too focused on wanting to find out what happened. “Manuia…” he cries out, searching the man’s eyes for any clues. There is nothing, nothing except sadness. And stress, Manuia looks like he’s grown a century older in just three days.

“I called the family doctor. Dr. Tatami says he’ll be fine but I still need to try and convince him to see a therapist,” Manuia gives him a sympathetic look. “Why don’t we go to the kitchen? I had Bobby bring over a few groceries earlier.”

“I don’t know…Manuia. I want to see him, it’s why I’m here.” Seth tilts his head towards the hallway, his heart clenching longingly. He’s yearning to see Roman, every minute he spends away from him is killing him inside.

“And you will, but I want to talk to you for a sec.”

Seth nods, reluctantly following Manuia into the kitchen. It’s unscathed, a perfect opposite to the chaos going on in the living room. Settling on the chair at the round dinner table, Seth accepts a glass of juice from Manuia with shaky hands. It tastes like charcoal, stale. But everything hasn’t been tasting the way it’s supposed to lately.

“So…you haven’t been seen at home since that night I left you apparently.”

“Yes,” it’s a whisper, Seth quavers, pulling loose strands of hair behind his ear. “I-I left. I told you, loving him is too much for me—to handle. But I do, I don’t think I-I could stop if I tried. You know sometimes I think I care for him more than I do for myself. But I’m pregnant Manuia, and right now…we c-can’t b-be t-together. No matter how much I w-want us to be. He’s n-not ready, u-until h-he deals with the p-past h-he won’t be ready.”

“And I-I’m sorry, s-so sorry. B-Because I promised h-him, Manuia, I told him I wouldn’t leave. I lied to him!” the tears rain harder, revealing his pain. “I’m confused, Manuia. I don’t know what to do…”

“We’re still going to stay here for a few days. Why don’t you spend your time pondering on what to do then? I’ll call you the day we leave, find out what decision you’ve come to.”

“Maybe you’re right…” Seth sighs, looking over his shoulder to the hallway again.

“Well, alright, a lot that happened today Seth. Dr. Tatami thinks Roman hasn’t been sleeping since he got here. That means this is the first time he’s fallen asleep in over thirty-six hours. There are a lot of other things that I can’t divulge, I’m hoping Roman will be well enough to talk to when he finally wakes up. But I don’t know, whatever happened at the hospital, it was his breaking point. He’s that sixteen year old broken boy I met at the marketplace all over again.”

Manuia has tears in his eyes, but he’s not crying. It’s his ticked jaw that confirms that he’s holding back, maybe for his sake. Seth thinks so, maybe Manuia thinks they can’t both fall apart. One of them has to be the strong one. “Come, I’ll take you to him. His face is a little…damaged. Other parts of his body too, you saw how the living room is.”

Seth nods, heart breaking, he’s tired of crying but the tears don’t care. He can feel the wetness on his cheeks, the salty liquid touching his lips. He stands aside as Manuia opens the pitch dark room. “If you don’t want to, I won’t tell him you were here. You can stay for a while, he’s not waking up any time soon anyway.”

“Thanks Manuia.”

The room is eerily silent after Manuia leaves, Seth is very silent in his footsteps walking towards the bed. He turns the bedside lamp on, filling the room with a warm orange. The first thing he notices about the body in bed is that Roman’s face has too many cuts. On his lower lip, his left cheek is bruised, his left eye is plastered. It takes him back to the night he found Roman fighting that punching bag.

Timidly, as if not to disturb Roman, Seth pulls up the covers, joining the sleeping man in bed. He scoots close to Roman until there isn’t any space separating them. His tears are making it hard for him to scrutinize the royal properly. He furiously tries to wipe them away, pressing his lips against Roman’s forehead. It’s volcanic beneath his touch.

Seth traces the facets of Roman’s face, imprinting all of his love into the royal’s skin. Roman’s dark eyebrows flutter but they don’t open. He’s always been jealous of Roman’s eyebrows. He tells the royal all the time, that his eyebrows could rival those of a supermodel’s. The dark curved hairs pull together, Roman’s face—too pale—twitching. He’s still in a deep slumber but a tear cascades down his left cheek.

Seth wipes it away, mindfully running his palm down Roman’s cut cheek. A sigh leaves him, as he timidly presses his lips to Roman’s before embracing the royal’s neck tightly, “It’s going to be okay, Row-man. I-I love you so much, so very much,” he’s not sure what’s supposed to happen. He’s undecided…about a lot of things but it doesn’t matter. At least for now. All he wants is to be there for the man he loves. He wants the love he feels for Roman to consume him whole. To protect him. To be strong for him. Everything else can wait.    

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya! Look, I'm sorry for the silence. But I'm rural KZN, the service isn't that great there. But I also have a bunch of responsibilities there because it's nine homesteads and when we go there, we as the girls need to clean and blah, blah, blah. Basically, in most rural parts of S.A, we're traditional. 
> 
> So I'd be tired by the time I needed to write something. And also, because I'm writing a couple of not so happy chapters--its also getting to me. I had to listen to Lenny Kravitz the entire time I wrote this to get me in the mood. 
> 
> Lastly, this is depressing. Like the previous chapters, you guys. And we're gonna get really heavy sometimes. Please, please read cautiously. Depression is evident here, even in the previous chapter as some of you may've noticed. There's talks of abortion, suicide. It's just heavy. If you're triggered--please read cautiously or maybe dont read this chapter at all. 
> 
> And, I'm sorry to bomabard you with the emotions but it's part of the story. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading <3.

Roman wakes up feeling heavily despondent. Like every burden in the world has been assigned to him. And that increases his weariness a billion times over because it’s like every exhaustion—emotional, mental and physical—that every living creature has ever experienced has been dumped on him. He’s carrying the weight of the world, the exhaustion antagonistically seeping into his bones.

He blinks his eyes rapidly, trying to adjust to the darkness in the room. Why is it so dark? The harder he tries to concentrate, to get his vision to clear, the darker it becomes. He thinks maybe he’s surrounded by a dark fog and Roman gives up eventually, because it’s too much effort and he’s drained. He releases a heavy breath, too tired to clutch his chest from how the outtake of air sears his lungs.

“Roman? Are you awake?”

He hears that voice from afar, he can’t be sure who it belongs to. Something is looking at him, making him so uncomfortable. Slowly, his eyes open again, meeting familiar brown ones. Manuia. Roman blinks up at him in confusion. What is Manuia doing in Seth’s room? Maybe he’s here to tell him that they have to get to work. But it’s too early, too dark. Roman’s tired, he doesn’t want to go to work today. Sleep. All he wants to do is sleep.

“Can you come back later? I’m tired,” he whispers letting out a tremulous sigh—it burns his lungs. He readjusts himself, pulling the covers until not an inch of his body is visible. Shivers wrack his skin, making him tremble on the bed. He feels cold all of a sudden. And he curls in on himself, chasing the warmth on his already inflamed body. But it never registers to his mind. He’s still so cold, and he grips the bedsheets in white-knuckled grips.

A hand touches his shoulder, and he flinches beneath the covers. “You’ve been asleep for over thirteen hours, Roman. Don’t you want to wake up a bit? Have some food?”

Roman can’t respond, his lips refuse to part. So Manuia’s question goes unanswered.

“Roman? Aren’t you hungry?”

Still Manuia’s question goes unanswered. Roman’s shivering in bed. It feels like he’s been dropped into the Antarctic. The cold penetrates Roman’s skin, sinking into his bones like wet concrete. _It’s so cold. So very cold._ Why?

_He’s running and running with the damp twigs crunching beneath him. The rain beats his skin, biting into his bones making him shivering cold. His clothes are soaking wet, lips blue and teeth chattering. But Roman’s undeterred. He has to find him. He has to find Tyler. One misstep sends him tripping into the ground just as the thunder crackles loudly. It has Roman jumping in fright. A wretched curse slipping past his lips at the bead of blood dripping caused by the fall. “No…no! Tyler!” Roman lifts up, running faster. His legs protest the movement, he’s been running forever but Roman doesn’t care. He picks up his pace, going deeper into the dark of the forests._

“No…” tears out of Roman’s lips brokenly as the memory rips through him. He’s so _cold._ And breathing isn’t coming easy to him. There isn’t enough warmth. He curls in on himself tighter, arms folded around his legs. But he’s still shivering, trembling badly on the bad as if he’s having a seizure. _It’s so cold._

“Roman? Brother, look at me.”

That voice is heard from a distance. Roman recognizes it but can’t be sure who it belongs to. He groans, salty liquid raining down his cheeks when the blanket is pulled off of him. His lips are trembling and he’s shaking. Shaking so hard. His muscles clenching tight against the cold. He has no idea how to get rid of it.

A hand settles on his shoulder and all Roman can think is _warm._ In the blink of an eye, Roman has something warm under him. He presses his shaking body into the large but soft warmth under him. He clings to it, the warmth, releasing a ragged breath. The warmth is chasing away the cold but it’s still not enough. He wants the images to fade into a distant memory tucked far, far away.

_Need to get warm._

Robotically, his hands roam the body under him, just trying to get rid of the cold. He groans, releasing sharp exhales when he hears his name being called over and over again. Roman tries to blink away the haziness in his eyes. He can’t see, and the voice sounds so far away. It’s merging with the noise in his head. Roman groans in frustration. Why won’t everything go away? It’s so loud. Too loud.

_“Tyler?”_

_“Y-Yes,” a small voice responds, it has Roman turning on his side. His groggy eyes adjust to the darkness, finding Tyler’s stormy blues. “I had a nightmare.”_

_“’M right here, ’m not going anywhere…” Roman whispers against Tyler’s inflamed forehead. He already knows what Tyler’s dream is about. They always change but ultimately they’re always about one thing—him abandoning Tyler._

_A tired sigh reaches Roman’s ears, “I know…I-I'm sorry.”_

_“Don’t be…you’re safe here. With us, with me. I love you.”_

_Roman loosens his hold from around the small boy’s waist when Tyler pulls back slightly. His eyes are still too cloudy, with so much fear in them. And timidly, Tyler’s hand lifts up to trace his face. It’s Tyler’s favorite thing to do. And it melts Roman more than he’d like to admit. “Thank you.”_

_“I was expecting an ‘I love you too, Leati' but I guess the gratitude will do.”_

_Tyler rolls his eyes, he shuffles closer to Roman, sliding his arm around Roman’s bare torso. Their chests touch and he hides his face in Roman’s neck, breathing him in. Tingles flood Roman’s body when a shaky exhale escapes Tyler. “I love you too.”_

Roman cries out, trying to escape the dark hole he’s falling in. The thoughts grow louder, too many memories. Too many bad thoughts. Revealing his fears, his insecurities. Taunting him. He can never have Tyler again. They can’t ever be a family. He’s a failure. From the moment Tyler walked into his life, he’d been a failure. And he’ll fail Seth too. It’s only a matter of time. He shakes his head frantically, releasing the hold on the body beneath him to clutch his ears to chase away the voices. It’s all it takes for the body under him to flip them and leave the bed quickly.

Roman folds into a fetal position as soon as the cold bites into his skin again. Into his veins. He has no idea how to escape it. Roman cries lowly, squeezing his eyes shut, his heart pumping slower. His head feels like it’s being split in two. He doesn’t dare open his eyes. Hoping that the darkness will come sooner. Because it’s his only escape.

* * *

 

The next time Roman wakes up, his heart is beating hard inside his chest and he’s extremely soaked. The room is too bright and he closes his eyes for a bit. _It’s too light._ But regret threatens to suffocate him when in the darkness he meets his nightmares. He can hear the voices, too loud. Music. Noise. Sounds of panic. Screams. A hospital.

Roman shudders, eyes snapping open. He hates nightmares, especially when they are so vivid. He throws an arm around his eyes to lessen the brightness. For a while he remains in bed, staring blankly at the ceiling. His strange surroundings not registering immediately to him. He’s exhausted and Roman finds himself in a dark maze. A dark labyrinth that he cannot escape. Something is telling him not to. And he wants to obey, to give in to that urge. But the longer he spends staring at the ceiling, the more he becomes aware. Almost as if the ceiling is calling out to him somehow, until finally he sees it’s pale blue color in it’s entirety.

Confusion pulls his brows together, because as soon as his mind registers his surroundings he realizes he’s not home. Home at the mansion. With Seth. What is he doing here? An unsettling feeling twists his stomach viciously. Where is he?

Roman’s feet touch the ground, they are bandaged—both of them. He doesn’t give himself the time to ponder why. He notices it’s the same for his hands too. An ache rips through his stomach like that of a sharp dagger and he doubles over in pain. The sensations slam through him from every corner. Maybe he’s in hell, with the devil poking and prodding into his skin with a large hot fork to agonize his body with unbearable sharp searing aches.

He bites back a wretched groan, vision blurring. He can’t even breathe. What is going on? Rubbing on his chest, his chapped lips part with difficulty, cracking as he licks them wet. Stale air enters his lungs, making him grateful. But breathing still isn’t coming easy to him. There are shards of glass ripping into his windpipe.

_Water._

The thought blares loudly in his mind, panicked. Roman attempts to blink the blurriness away, scanning the strange room until he lands on the mini refrigerator near the exit. He breathes deeply, preparing himself to leave the bed. The pain forces him to pause halfway to his destination. And he balances his weight on the sides of his feet, walking that way until he finally reaches the mini fridge. Roman sags against the electrical appliance. His breath comes out heavily, hurting his lungs. Has he always been so unfit? It feels like he’s been climbing up twenty thousand flight of steps.

Breathing still ragged but slightly calmed down, Roman scans the contents in the fridge, instinctively swallowing when he lands on the paradise that is bottled water. There are too many bottles to count and Roman shakily opens one bottle after the other, greedily drinking the water like a man who’s been deprived of it for decades. Everything is excessive, even his thirst. It’s only on his fifth bottle of water that he feels slightly satiated.

A framed picture on the bedside table alerts him to where he is. His surroundings. This room is…it belongs to Manuia. And this house—he hasn’t been here in three years. What is he doing here? The uneasiness increases and he escapes the room like a mad man. He needs fresher air, he couldn’t breathe in that room. The air was too dense.

Exotic aromas drift through the air in the hallway. Roman’s reminded of home. So he isn’t alone in this house then. Having been guided by the smell of food, he enters the kitchen finding Manuia with his back turned to him. “Manuia....” he winces as the word leave him, his throat still damaged.

“Roman, it’s not—fucking…Siaosi father of Lanuola! Roman get that big _fuck_ , I mean—dick. Get your mammoth dick out of my face!” Manuia sounds horrified, and a small chuckle does escape Roman. Trust Manuia to tickle him when he’s feeling strange. “No wonder Seth walks around like a senior citizen with back problems,” it’s whispered, Roman wouldn’t have caught the words if everything weren’t so loud to him at the moment.

Seth.

His heart beats far too loudly all of a sudden. And the unsettling feeling increases tenfold, viciously twisting his insides. Roman hasn’t the slightest idea why. He doesn’t know the reason to a lot of things at the moment. “Manuia…” he begins quietly to the man still turned away from him. “Where is Seth?”

He receives silence but Manuia turns to face him fully, considering him with an expression akin to pity. Roman doesn’t like the look on his face. He cocks an eyebrow, folding his arms across his chest. “Manuia?”

“Home…”Manuia maintains the eye contact, he’s trying too hard. Everything about his stance is rigid, too composed. He’s hiding something…

“What are we doing here?”

Silence again…merged with a perplexed expression this time.

“You don’t remember?”

“Remember what?” Roman’s features twitch, mind blank.

“Why don’t you go and wear something more appropriate first? The birthday suit looks great on you, but it should be reserved for Seth’s eyes only…don’t you think?”

“Manuia…” he tries again but Manuia’s hands lift in that way they always do when he brokers no room for argument. “Fine brother.” He gives in, limping to his room. Roman opens the door, the smell of cleaning solvents assaulting his nostrils immediately. The room is clinical, neater than Roman would ever manage to clean himself. It lures out a pleased hum from his lips.

His eyes dart to the white walls as he slips on a pair of black boxers. And he freezes. The walls are too vacant. It’s strange, the last time he were here, _his_ pictures littered the east wing of the wall. But now, there are only two pictures of Tyler he’s seeing. Maybe, maybe Manuia comes here and he didn’t know about it. It’s the only logical thought. But why would he remove Tyler’s pictures? Shouldn’t he have given Roman the time to do that himself?

One of the pictures on the wall distract him, “Aulelei…” the word chokes the breath from his lungs. His fingertips brush against the photo, Roman remembers when the picture was taken as if it were yesterday. On Tyler’s sixteenth birthday, at Lanu Meamata. It hadn’t been a big party, they were only surrounded by family. And afterwards, it had been the two of them, at their place. He’d taken the picture himself, as Tyler had been looking skywards, making his birthday wish.

A knock to the door chases away the memories, the door opens, Manuia walking in. “Are you hungry? I made Sua i'a. There’s coconut rice too, I know you how much you love it.”

“Manuia…T-Tyler's pictures are gone. Mea na tupu? Did you…do this?”

“You happened…” Manuia takes too long to reply, tone quiet. His hands hide in his pockets.

“Me…” the recoiling sensation returns.

“Yes,” Manuia’s tone is next to inaudible. Roman hates how he looks on the verge of breaking point, especially his widened fake smile. Because Manuia’s eyes are still watery, reminding Roman of the black clouds just before the depressing crackling of thunder and rain.

On instinct, he walks to his bodyguard, comforting hand resting on Manuia’s shoulder. “Did I do…something bad? I’m sorry, Manuia. Please forgive me.”

“I-It’s fine, y-you just…” Manuia’s tears are the steady flow of a river. “You trashed the house, brother. And y-you…why don’t we sit down at the kitchen, eat some food? I made Vaimeleni, while you were asleep. I made it this morning, I’m sure it’s chilled to perfection, just like you love it. You sound parched.”

Not having caught much of Manuia’s speech, Roman merely nods his head, following his bodyguard outside the room. “So it’s not—morning?” he asks, sitting at the round table in the kitchen.

“It’s afternoon actually, three o’clock if we’re being accurate.” Two bowls are placed in front of him, and then a glass of watermelon juice. “Enjoy.”

Automatically, Roman nods his head, breathing in deeply.

“So there’s a fresh breeze outside, the air is really crisp. We can relax outside afterwards. And maybe have a swim…no actually scrap the pool, we’ll go hiking instead, mhm? Or watch a few foreign films. It’s been a while since we watched The Boy And The Beast…or maybe horror? I know how much you love Goodnight Mommy. Or better yet, Game of Thrones…binge watch the entire first season?”

“I want to go home,” the words shoot past his lips but they’re his most honest. All Roman wants to do is go home, to Seth. He’s unsure as to what they are doing here. But he misses Seth, and there’s a niggling feeling deep in his gut that’s making him restless. He wiggles his toes to relieve the pain at his feet.

“And you will, I promise…just not today. I want us to spend a few days together, just me and you…no one else.”

Roman cocks an eyebrow, pushing the food in front of him away. He has no appetite honestly. “Why?”

“There are…a few things we need to discuss,” Manuia’s accent sneakily makes itself known. That only ever happens when Manuia’s drunk or when he’s too emotional. It’s the latter, judging by the stormy look in his eyes.

“Okay…” Roman’s gaze locks on Manuia.

“Why don’t you go shower first? We’ll talk outside, get some fresh air.”

Manuia’s evasiveness irks him, Roman folds his arms across his chest, stubbornly asking, “Why not now?”

“Later!” it’s whispered furiously in Samoan.

Roman stands up, firmly deciding that he’s not going to do this. He’s not going to sit around and wait on Manuia when something clearly is wrong. He can feel it in the deepest parts of his soul. The niggling feeling won’t let him go. To hell with Manuia and wanting to talk later. “Where is my phone?” he gives Manuia a stare down, speaking through clenched teeth.

“Roman please, just…calm down. I promise you we’ll talk, but you need to eat first. And then you need to shower. And then we’ll talk, about anything you want.”

“I’m not hungry,” he responds honestly. “I just want to find out what’s wrong, Manuia. Why won’t you give me that? Please brother…”

Manuia stands up, placing a hand on his shoulder. Roman recoils at the touch, his vision blurring.

“We’ll talk, we will. I promise you. Just take a shower first, to freshen up. You look exhausted Roman, and then we’ll go out. The fresh air will do you some good.”

Conflicted, Roman stands exactly where he is, stomach in knots. His staring contest with Manuia seems to last forever before his bodyguard pleads with his eyes. Roman doesn’t want to give in, he doesn’t. But Manuia’s myriad of emotions defeat him, and he sighs lowly, nodding his head.

In the bathroom, he frowns deeply at his appearance. Lifeless are the brown eyes staring back at him. And for a while, Roman swears the person looking back at him isn’t really him. Where are the cuts coming from? He touches the one next to his left eye, flinching in pain. He inspects his mouth, his lower lip is a deep burgundy color as is his left cheek. The scars there were caused by something grazing his skin, if the multiple purple scratches and cuts give any indication.

His nightmare from earlier flashes in his eyes again, causing Roman to flinch in fright, his hip connecting with the edge of the sink. He bites back a cry, breathing slower to regulate the pain. It’s in the shower with the water running down his inflamed skin and the misty fog blurring his vision that he has a flashback.

_So many sounds. People shouting. Cars honking. Dark roads. Stale air. Roman has no idea what’s going on. He blinks his eyes, trying to clear the dark fog in front of him. But it only gets darker, so he drives faster, tightening his hands on the steering wheel. He needs to get away._

_“Hey asshole, watch where you’re going!”_

The voice rings loudly in Roman’s mind. And with it’s loudness, he presses his palms against his ears. Because the memory slams into him forcefully. Music. Noise. Sounds of panic. A body collapsed on the floor. Seth’s screams. A drive. The hospital. A doctor.

He remembers now. How Seth’s friend Xavier had collapsed at the graduation party. And then Seth had been crying hysterically for the young man. He remembers carrying Seth to the car and then they reached the hospital. Under the female doctor’s instruction, they had to wait outside Xavier’s room and then…and then…

Nothing.

Roman stumbles out of the bathroom in a rush, yanking the bedroom door open. “Manuia…!” his voice lifts an octave higher. “I-I r-remember. Seth’s friend fell at the party and then S-Seth was crying. I-I took him to the hospital. So w-why are here?” he pauses in the middle of the kitchen, water dripping down his naked body and chest heaving.

Manuia meets his gaze, his troubled expression disappears in the blink of an eye. Roman knows the man is hiding from him. He doesn’t know why. They are brothers. “That’s…true. And it’s the second time you’re flashing that dick Roman. Go get dressed, we’ll head to the lake, have a relaxing talk there.”

Roman wants to protest, Manuia’s seen him naked so many times after all. But hesitantly, he turns on his heels, going back to his room. He slips on a pair of worn out dark jeans—commando. And ties his hair into a bun after a few difficult attempts. He doesn’t think to put on any footwear as he returns to the kitchen. “Manuia…” he calls out to the man who’s now stood at the kitchen sink, staring into the distance.

The sun hits him immediately they’re outside but the breeze overpowers the scorching feeling. He’s glad he decided to forgo any upper garment, it would’ve made him feel suffocated. The dry leaves and twigs crunch beneath his bandaged feet as he follows Manuia to a trail he knows leads to the lake.

Reaching their destination, Roman crouches in front of the calm water. It’s cool as it slips through his fingers, usually he finds it refreshing but not today. Nothing feels refreshing, he’s carrying a ton of rocks on his shoulders. And he feels an emptiness, a hollowness in his soul that he hasn’t felt in a long time.

“Do you remember anything after you reached the hospital?” Manuia sits besides him, staring into the water.

“Leai,” Roman shakes his head no. Silence ensues after he says the words, Roman thinks Manuia was expecting him to continue but he’s blank. Heck, he hasn’t an idea what day it is today. His eyes remain rooted to the water, watching it flow steadily. It reminds him of home and he’s momentarily taken back to days spent having fishing competitions under the late salmon skies.

“So you don’t remember anything after that?” Manuia interrupts his thoughts, surveying him with a stoic exterior.

“I…don’t know,” Roman bows his head, water still slipping through his fingers. “I…have a bad feeling, Manu. Like something’s wrong, and my…spirit, I don’t know but something’s not right here…” he pats his chest. “I feel…strange—h-hollow. There is no light.”

A hand squeezes his shoulder supportively. “We’ll find the light together again. I promise. But you…” an exhale that resembles a hurricane reaches Roman’s ears. He tilts his head, studying Manuia’s quivering eyes. “Ne e manua oe lava, Leati.” it’s barely a whisper and Roman has to strain his sensitive ears to hear.

He can’t respond at first. His jumbled mind processing Manuia’s words. The man said he hurt himself. It would explain the multiple cuts on his face. It’s happened before, especially with the punching bags over the years. But it’s all blank to him now. He can’t even remember when it happened or how or why. Nothing makes sense to him. “The punching bag?” he seeks confirmation.

Manuia nods his head, rolling his shoulders. He only ever does that when he’s exhausted or when he’s about to bear bad news. “Oe lafo oe lava i totonu oe le vaitaele,” it’s much more silent this time. Manuia stumbles on his words, but Roman still manages to understand him.  

“I threw myself in the pool? We do that all the time, Manuia,” a small chuckle leaves Roman, although the sinking feel is still there—persistent.

“Not from the roof, Roman!” Manuia’s agitated, eyes widened in fear. He’s crying, his mouth opens but no words come out. A strangled sound comes from deep inside his throat, like a wounded animal. It has Roman wrapping an arm around his shoulder trying to comfort him but then Manuia shakes his head, stuttering, “ You don’t t-throw y-yourself in the fucking p-pool when you’re n-naked a-and injured. I think y-you were g-going to—hurt yourself, Roman. It didn’t l-look like you were going to—come out.”

Roman blinks once, twice at Manuia’s words. His brain is so slow today but it’s chaotic too. It takes him too long to understand Manuia’s words. But they do sink in eventually. And then his heart thuds faster and faster and faster. A bead of sweat forms on his forehead, it feels like he’s competing in a marathon.

Roman stands up, staggering backwards while shaking his head furiously as the words sink in. “N-No,” he stammers, forcing the tears burning his eyes away. He’s hurt himself before, with the punching bags. But never the pool. The implication of Manuia’s words…

No.

He wouldn’t try to kill himself. He doesn’t want to die. Not when he’s happy. He has a family now, with Seth. Why would he want to try to commit suicide? Maybe, maybe Manuia is playing a joke on him. But why? He knows. Manuia knows that he doesn’t like suicide jokes. Why is Manuia doing this?

Maybe Manuia wants him to feel suicidal again. _No,_ Roman shakes his head frantically. Manuia and him—they’re family. Manuia’s like a brother to him. They’ve been through so much together, they tell each other everything. So why? Why is Manuia saying this? If he wanted to kill himself Roman would remember.

_But you don’t remember anything._

Roman freezes as the words echo in his mind. He cannot refute them. He remembers _nothing._ What if…what if Manuia’s telling the truth? His chest tightens, breathing somewhat coming difficultly to him now as the air turns stale. _Think, think, think._ Roman’s hands clench into fists, he aims them to his head over and over again, racking his brains. Maybe he did something wrong. And, and that’s why he wanted to kill himself.

Seth.

 _Oh_ _god_ , _oh_ _god_ …

The bile rapidly builds up in his throat as the world turns into a foggy picture right in his eyes. He must’ve, he must’ve hurt Seth. It’s the reason Manuia won’t let him go home. Roman stumbles backwards, suddenly feeling _too much._ Everything all at once. His heart is racing loudly, the blood rushing to his ears. Roman can’t stop his hands from shaking, and he’s trying to snap out of it. Because this, this a weakness. But he’s hurt Seth, and attempted to kill himself—like the coward he is.

Roman falls to his knees when it feels like the walls are closing in on him. Breathing through the pain in his chest he urges wretchedly, “I-I d-didn’t mean to Manu. P-Please tell him I’m s-sorry. I’m sorry, Manu…” his cracked lips go damp with tears, they are trembling as he apologizes over again. He’s trying to remember what he did wrong but his mind won’t cooperate. He doesn’t try to fight it, too scared of the discoveries he’ll make. He knows how he hurts Seth’s body sometimes. Maybe it’s far worse this time. Maybe Seth has finally given up—like Nikki. Maybe he’s grown tired.

An image flashes in his eyes, snatching the air from his lungs.

He’s trapped in a room with no openings. The water slithers in from nowhere, sinking him deeper and deeper while the world continues around him. Darkness surrounds him as the water steals his vision. His mind tells him to fight but his body won’t cooperate. The water turns murkier, darker and he can’t see a thing. The last thing he hears is a panicked voice urging, “Roman, you’re not breathing right. You need to calm down.”

Everything goes dark, the side of his head connecting with damp sand.

* * *

 

“Okay sweetie, now go to Ms. Parker. She’ll help you borrow the book, okay?” Seth places the Harry Potter book in the hands of ten year old Maliayah.

“Cool, thanks for your help Mr. Seth,” she gives him a wide smile before rushing off to the librarian’s desk. Seth follows her every step, a small smile tugs at his lips and he sighs softly.

“You’re going to be a great mother.”

Seth whips around, meeting Manuia’s calm brown eyes. “Manuia…” his feet carry him to where Manuia’s standing faster than he can process.

“Hey Seth,” Manuia’s smile is strained. “It’s been a while.”

Seth nods his head. He hasn’t been to Mount Dora since that Thursday morning when he left before Roman could wake up. It’s Sunday now. And this is the first communication he’s having with Manuia since that day. The man had advised him not to get in touch and that he would do it. But Seth’s been worried. And the only thing that has been keeping him sane is coming to Lion Heart.

“Why don’t we go and talk…somewhere private?”

“Okay,” Seth leads them outside the library. Too many little ones rush to hug him as he heads for his office. It has Manuia laughing quietly, he clearly finds the whole thing amusing. Seth opens the door and enters after Manuia. “How is he?” Seth asks, as soon as they settle.

Manuia keeps silent for a while, delaying by sipping his glass of water. Seth decides not to rush him, even though he’s tempted to. Because it’s been so long, and he hasn’t heard anything. He’s been trying not to worry too much for the sake of the babies. But his mind hasn’t received the memo.

“He’s…unwell.” Seth attempts to remain blank under Manuia’s scrutiny but he doesn’t think he’s good at it. At least not as good as Roman. He can feel the tears fighting to push out from the back of his eyelids. Blinking rapidly, he nods for Manuia to go on.

“On Friday, he woke up late in the afternoon. He thought it was morning. And then he, he mostly…he doesn’t remember Seth. The last thing he remembers was driving you to the hospital. And waiting outside Xavier’s room. All the other things that followed after, he has no recollection of.”

“O-Okay…” Seth processes Manuia’s words. His mind immediately going to temporary amnesia. He wouldn’t be surprised, with the way Roman had shut down at the hospital. “W-What about a therapist? Have you managed to convince him?”

Manuia slumps against the chair, dejected expression on his face. “He’s having trouble concentrating, Seth. He’s blacked out twice since he woke up on Thursday. And anytime he’s awake, I can’t even ask him what he wants to eat without him shutting down. I can’t get him to leave the bed. I…got a few bruises to my ribs. Nothing I can’t handle, though. I never know what to expect, yesterday we had a good day. But this morning he woke up rambling about how you’re angry at him. For hurting you. And then he was apologizing to you over and over again.”

The tears fall before he can stop them, heavier than they’ve ever rained. Seth wipes them away with trembling fingers. “I-I…don’t. I—” Seth’s lips move soundlessly. He doesn’t know what to say. Does Manuia know? “I…u-understand,” he stammers.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Manuia’s tone is reprimanding but there’s no judgement.

“I was h-helping him relieve his pain. To chase his ghosts away. I love him Manuia, I would do anything for him. Even if it means sacrificing my body. But I’m—pregnant now.”

“You could’ve gone about it differently, Seth. I—” Manuia releases a burdened breath, shaking his head. “When he woke up on Thursday, I tried to get him to leave the bed for a bit. He wouldn’t budge, and covered himself with the blanket. When I removed the sheets…he, I found myself pinned under him Seth. He was pressing his body to me, while shivering on top of me—”

“He was cold, he has those dreams a lot. Your warmth probably drew him in,” Seth explains tearfully. “You managed to break free?”

Manuia hums affirmative, “I pieced the puzzles, after he spoke of hurting you. I’m sorry you had to go through that, Seth.”

“I allowed it, Manuia. It helped him get rid of his pain. Isn’t that what love’s about? Sacrifice. That’s what I was doing, it’s not his fault.”

“Still, I’m sorry.” Manuia sighs, rubbing his face tiredly. “I think you should’ve talked to me by the way. We could’ve figured things out together. Which is what we’re going to do now.”

“Who’s with him now? I-I hope you haven’t leave him all alone, Manuia. Your house is too far away. I don’t want anything to happen to him. If he—hurts himself…”

“Calm down,” Manuia’s hand touches his shoulder, anchoring him, “he’s with Bobby. I took the chopper. Bobby will call me if anything’s the matter.”

“Okay…” Seth stares at Manuia, silence remaining between the two of them. He has a question tumbling in his mind that he’s too afraid to ask. For reasons unknown to him. He fixates on the largest picture framing the walls. It features himself and Roman, on the royal’s birthday. The man’s face is tucked in his neck, his large arms folded around his middle. A hint of happiness washes over Seth, he can still remember exactly how he felt on that day. “So—”

“I did—sorry,” Manuia laughs when they speak at the same time. “You first…” the tiny smile remains.

“Has he…asked about me? W-Why we’re not together?”

“Yesterday, he wanted to talk to you but it was midnight. But the other times, he’s really down or out of it. I…Seth, whatever happened at the hospital messed with him. And I know I asked you before, but can you tell me again? What happened?”

“I think that m-maybe he was triggered,” Seth begins softly, his mind replaying this past Sunday’s events. Everything from when they joined Xavier in his hospital room to when Roman stumbled out of their bedroom. “We found out Xavier was pregnant. I saw him smile when the doctor revealed the baby’s gender. I thought everything was going to be okay. But then Xavier…” Seth shakes his head, wiping the tears. “Xavier asked for an abortion, Manuia. Roman got angry, enraged even. He didn’t show it but I know him. I can always see it in his eyes, in his posture. He told Xavier that he wouldn’t be welcome at the mansion if he went through with the abortion and vowed to keep me away from him. And then he left…”

“I thought he was going to calm down but when he came back he hadn’t in the slightest. He looked angrier and told us to leave. When we got home, he was…not himself. I tried to talk to him about Tyler, he shut down…and I-I. He released his pain, and then he left. I couldn’t follow, I would’ve but I couldn’t move.”

“I see...” Manuia’s brows pull together, his lips pursed. “So everything was fine until Xavier mentioned the abortion?”

“Yes.”

“He told me you know about Tyler’s death…”

“Suicide,” Seth manages to choke out, remembering the night Roman told him about the suicide.

“Mhm,” Manuia hums thoughtfully. “Look, that’s all I know about Tyler too. But I…think there’s more to it. If you’re saying the abortion is what triggered all of this in the first place. It’s just, Roman’s a stubborn man Seth. Getting him to open up requires a lot of hard work.”

“I know…” an uneasiness settles in the pit of Seth’s stomach, he rubs on it—trying to lessen the churning. “Usually if it’s me prodding he’ll shut down. It was hard enough getting him to open up about what happened to Tyler. I don’t even know the details of his suicide.”

“Me neither,” Manuia stands up, going to perch himself at the edge of the polished desk in the cozy room. “When Roman and I met, he was sixteen and I was eighteen. I didn’t have it easy growing up, Seth. It was almost like you, after my parents died. I guess everyone thought they could use my body the way they saw fit. But I ran away, managed to have a little business at Masalo—one of our marketplaces. The night I met Roman, I knew he was broken.”

“It was one of those rare cold nights. But back then, we’d been having quite a few of them. For a month maybe. I met Roman just after I closed shop, I was walking back home. And back then, I was still always so scared. Because of my—past. Something crashed in the darkness, loud and so sudden that I freaked out and hid in an alley near the stalls. I still remember it like it was yesterday, the pungent stench of urine and uh, the many uncomfortable smells associated with poor areas.”

“It was in the alley that I heard the sounds, pained groans—barely audible. I thought maybe they coming from me, it took me forever to notice Roman near one of the big metal bins. I don’t know but I think he knocked one over. He looked worse than you saw him when you were at our house. Roman, sometimes he doesn’t notice when he’s hurting himself. His feet looked like he’d been running over hot coals. His hands were too bloody. And he was cold, his whole body was. He was too pale, lips too blue.”

“I took him to my shack, he was out of it for a full day. But I took care of him the best I could. And when he finally woke up, we didn’t talk about it the first day. “I think that’s the thing with him. He doesn’t like feeling like he’s being compelled to speak up,” Manuia shakes his head, a distant look in his wet eyes. “But the following day, just a few hours before his parents would find him. He came crying to me, rambling—kind of like he was doing this morning—about how he failed the boy he loved. It was all incoherent and jumbled up. He’s hurting his family. And how he wants everything to stop. The pain, the pictures. He wanted to get rid of the hurt—he said he would’ve died if his parents hadn’t found him. He wanted to join Tyler so they could be a family.”

Seth’s mind paints the images in his head, automatically—he can’t do anything about it. It’s pure torture, and he can feel his throat constricting. His heart _hurts. So badly._ It feels like being tied onto a bed while your heart is being ripped apart shred by shred. In the back of his mind he knows he should try to calm down for the sake of the babies. He needs to be strong for them, for Roman. But it’s still _so hard._

Forcefully wiping away at his eyes, he speaks through trembling lips. “I-I remember when he told me about the suicide, he was rambling…about soulmates. And he talked about suicide and babies. I couldn’t understand him. Maybe, maybe—” the rest of the words clog up in Seth’s throat. But despite the torture going on his mind, he’s still trying to piece Roman’s words from the past. “He found out I was pregnant before I—could tell h-him. I-I don’t know h-how, but I remember he told me before I could tell him. And he was so angry, Manuia. I thought maybe—I don’t know…he told me I wasn’t going to kill his child.”

“I think we can both come to the same conclusion here, Seth…” Manuia sighs, stoic mask dropping to reveal a pained expression. “I don’t know what would’ve led Tyler to do it…but I think maybe it’s possible that he had an a-abortion. From the few things that Roman’s told me about Tyler, the boy was troubled. He didn’t have much access to the outside world until he came to Lanuola. He didn’t even go to school. He was too broken and Roman…maybe he thought he could love him enough to fix him. But it’s not always the case, Seth. It’s the reason that Tyler’s dead, and Roman’s now the broken one.”

“I guess that’s why I told you at the beginning that he’s a broken man. I don’t want you to think you can fix him. That isn’t your responsibility. What you need to do is focus on the babies and your wellbeing. I’ll deal with Roman, convince him to seek professional help.”

Seth wraps an arm around his waist, humming dejectedly. He knows Manuia’s right. Roman and him—they can’t be together. The royal needs to work on his demons first. And he needs to take care of their babies, “I’ll…try, Manuia. But it’s so hard, I’m always thinking about him. Always worried. I don’t want him to think I’ve abandoned him. I’m right here, and I love him so very much. I hope he knows that.”

“I don’t doubt he knows. But I’ll remind him, everyday. I’ll make sure he knows that you love him.”

Seth lifts off the couch, accepting the warm embrace Manuia brings him to. “Thank you, Manuia.”

“Don’t thank me yet,” Manuia's lips quirk up teasingly. “I’ll call Seth…if there’s anything of significance that you need to be aware of, I’ll call.”

“Any time, please. Even if it’s three a.m. Manuia. It doesn’t matter.”

“Noted,” they exit the office. “I’ll get back to the house. Oh, and Masina found his phone under the bed when she was cleaning your bedroom. I have it with me, would you want to keep it?”

“Keep it, maybe he’ll want it.”

“Alright, good—by the way…” Manuia turns to face him suddenly, observing him curiously. “I never got a chance to ask you on before you left. Where are you staying, Seth? Are you comfortable? Our compound is too big, there are a lot of vacant rooms. You can stay there.”

“I’m staying with a…friend,” Seth’s eyes drop to his feet—heart beating too loudly.

“Oh?” Manuia raises an eyebrow.

“From college, Elias—he’s the hipster.”

“The one who was receiving dirty looks from Roman at your graduation,” Manuia breaks into laughter.

“They share a mutual dislike. But Roman, he thinks Elias is out to steal me away from him.” Seth shakes his head, a small smile plays on his lips as he remembers a few encounters between his boyfriend and Elias. “It doesn’t matter how many times I tell him it’s him I love.”

“Jealous much?”

“Possessive,” Seth’s lips stretch a bit wider. “I fell in love with a possessive brute.”

“Lucky you,” Manuia chuckles softly. “If you change your mind, Bobby is coming back later tonight. He’ll be home more often, and Masina too.”

“Thank you, Manuia.”

He receives a head nod, “We’ll talk soon. I’ll see you around, Seth.”

* * *

 

“Roman? It’s six a.m. do you wanna go out for a refreshing morning run?” A firm hand settles on Roman’s shoulder making him sigh tiredly. “Come on brother, get up.”

He doesn’t want to, Roman wants to shake his head and tell Manuia he’s tired. Because he is, and he has a headache. “I don’t feel too good,” he whispers, eyes still closed.

“What is it?”

“My head hurts,” he groans, pressing his clenched fists to his eyes.

“Well, I can get you an aspirin. Or…you can jog the pain away, huh?” there’s too much enthusiasm in Manuia’s voice, it tugs at Roman’s lips. There’s a small smile fighting to push out but he suppresses it.

“I’m tired, Manu.”

“Because you’re in bed. You’ll feel better when you leave the bed.”

Roman opens his eyes, staring at the pale blue ceiling. The corners of his eyes crinkle in sensitivity. _It’s too light._ Manuia must’ve drew the curtains open. Another groan escapes him, “Manuia…it’s too light.”

“Really? I didn’t notice.” The covers are pulled off his body. “Birthday suit looks great, like usual. Now leave the bed, Adonis. We have a forest to grace with your greatness.” He raises an eyebrow at that, still staring at the ceiling. What the hell is wrong with Manuia? Roman shakes his head, he won’t bother trying to figure him out. Light years later, he decides to leave the bed as Manuia follows him into the bathroom. “You need me to help you?”

Roman knows what Manuia is getting at. He shakes his head, plucking his toothbrush from the stand. “I can handle it, thanks.”

“Okay…” Manuia doesn’t leave the bathroom. He sits on the toilet seat instead, resembling a security guard with his staring. Roman rinses his teeth, giving Manuia a stare down as he heads to the shower. His bodyguard’s been keeping watch over him for the past four days when he enters the bathroom. Roman hates it but all efforts at trying to get the man to quit it have been nothing but futile. Manuia’s just as stubborn as him, sometimes Roman thinks more than him.

Showered and clothed, Roman follows Manuia outside the door. He almost drops the apple Manuia throws at him. “You didn’t eat supper last night,” Manuia explains.

“Thanks,” he bites into the apple, following Manuia to the path that will lead them deep into the woods. The air is both humid and cold at the same time, but Roman finds it refreshing somehow as it rushes into his lungs. The damp grass squishes beneath his feet rhythmically as he keeps his steady pace. The air licks Roman’s skin, sinking into his bones. It’s not so bad this time, unlike yesterday. It doesn’t feel vicious and stinging like it had yesterday.

“You going slow on me, Leati? Huh?” Roman looks up from his crouched position, chest heaving. Manuia’s a ball of energy, jogging fast-paced in one place. “Hm, old man?”

That earns his bodyguard a glare from hell, “Fuck off! This isn’t a marathon.”

“Excuses, excuses. How about we go back? Have some food, you have a voracious appetite, I’m sure nothing’s changed.”

Roman shrugs, trekking back to the house with Manuia. They reach home at eight, an improvement according to Manuia. Yesterday, they came home barely forty-five minutes after they’d left the house. It’s all his fault. But he couldn’t help it. Roman felt odd, and the air around him felt ominous. So they had to come back. “So whaddya want for breakfast?”

Roman shrugs, staring outside the window. He’s not really hungry to be honest. He never has an appetite nowadays. But he’s been forcing himself to eat, to avoid seeing Manuia give him puppy eyes. It’s a strange look for a man as huge as him. “Surprise me.”

Manuia regards him with a silly grin before he turns to take out the ingredients for breakfast. It leaves Roman to be alone in his thoughts.

Seth.

He’s the first one to cross Roman’s mind. It’s been too long since he last saw the man. Over a week. Today is…Thursday. Roman thinks that’s accurate, he remembers yesterday—Manuia told him it was Wednesday. And they still aren’t going to go home yet. Manuia said maybe they’d leave on Saturday. He wants them to talk first. About what, Roman can’t be sure exactly. He still isn’t sure what they’re even doing here.

But Manuia mentioned something about helping him deal with the past. Roman thinks maybe it has something to do with Tyler. He’s noticed how some of Tyler’s pictures are off the walls. And he thinks he wants to deal with the past too. Because he’s in love with Seth now. And he doesn’t want to disrespect him by being hung up on Tyler. If only it were that easy.

Roman’s been having a couple of nights where he can’t sleep right. Where sleep evades him the entire night. Because immediately his eyes close, he meets Tyler in his dreams. And he always wakes up shaking and shivering in sweat. Or sometimes the images transition and it’s Seth who’s cold and bloody in the forests. If he’s lucky, Manuia wakes him before he can leave the house. The other day, Manuia found him asleep deep in the forest. Roman still isn’t sure how he got there.

But Manuia told him it’s why they have to stay here for a bit. To work out a few things. Roman can’t bring himself to complain. Half the time, a lot of things don’t make sense to him. But he’s been trying to get better. Like today, he managed to get out of bed without being dragged out by Manuia. And he also ran for an hour with Manuia. That’s…it’s progress. He saw the proud glint in Manuia’s eyes as they were jogging back home. And now, he just has to try and eat breakfast. To make Manuia proud. To prove he’s not a failure.

“There you go, Blueberry pancakes.” A plate filled with pancakes is placed in front of him.

“Thank you,” he hums appreciatively.

“So what’d you wanna do today?”

“Don’t know…what do you wanna do?”

“ _No._ What do _you_ wanna do?”

Roman cocks an eyebrow, momentarily pausing his eating. “I. Don’t. Know,” he speaks slower. “Tell me what to do.”

“What do you mean you don’t know?” Manuia still has that teasing tone, it has Roman sighing loudly.

“I just don’t.”

“Why?”

Grrrr!

“…Game of Thrones,” he gives in, and Manuia’s proud smile embarrasses him.

“Okay, we can do that. Do you want more pancakes?”

Roman looks down at his plate, noticing that he’s finished all his food. Wow. He hasn’t done that in…ages. “No. I’m full…” he trails off, getting up to place his plate in the sink. “Should I shower again? I-I think I smell.”

“You do smell...like dead fish,” it’s said teasingly. Roman notes that Manuia looks lighter, better than yesterday. It makes him less burdened, and he thinks maybe it has something to do with all the improvements from today. A tiny smile is lured out of his lips as he exits the kitchen. He’s managed to make Manuia happy. He didn’t fail the man today. That’s another improvement to add to his list.

* * *

 

On Saturday, Manuia makes them eat dinner outdoors, near the lake.

It’s a beautiful evening, Roman can’t help but think as he stares fascinatedly when the sun sets, darkness slowly deepening. “So…how are you feeling?” Manuia shifts to lay on his side on top of the Bentley Bentayga.

It forces Roman to turn away from the star-filled skies to observe his bodyguard’s curiosity. “Better,” he replies quietly. He didn’t have the best of mornings. The _dreams_ got to him. All a kaleidoscope of images. Changing too rapidly for Roman to keep up. They began with him in the forests—like most of them always begin—and then they’d switch speedily. Tyler walking away from him. Panicked cries of a baby lost in the forests. Seth leaving him. Him falling in water. The world going on without him as he falls deeper and deeper—sinking into a black hole.

He woke up in tears, feeling exhausted. He’s always exhausted but it was worse today. It’s always worse with the dreams. And he wasn’t really hungry, and this time he didn’t have it in him to try and make Manuia proud. He felt like a failure today. For not being able to love Tyler enough. And for Seth. There’s a reason that the brunet was leaving him in his dream.

“Okay…do you think we could talk a bit? About anything you want.”

_No._

“Sure.”

“What do you want to talk about?”

“I miss Seth,” the words rush to his lips. His arms fold beneath his head as he fixates on the now completely dark skies. Roman can feel his vision blurring, as the tears fall down his cheeks. A wobbly sigh sneaks past his lips before the rambling begins. He tells Manuia about how Seth’s angry at him. About the dreams that lead to the rough sex. He rambles on and on about what a monster he is. A failure. And how Seth’s going to leave him too. Once he realizes that he can do better.

Roman releases everything, just trying to get rid of the pain. Because the longer he spends talking, the more it feels like the cement in his throat lessens. He thinks that he can hear Manuia sniffling next to him but he can’t be sure. Roman’s eyes remain rooted to the skies, the rambling until he has no energy. He feels Manuia ruffle his hair just before he gives into the exhaustion.

* * *

 

On Sunday, just after dinner, Manuia suggests that they watch a movie. Roman agrees after a bit of coaxing, choosing to watch The Boy And The Beast. It’s halfway into the anime film that Manuia speaks up, “So after last night, I was thinking…”

Roman remains silent, waiting for Manuia to continue until he realizes that the man’s expecting some sort of acknowledgement from him. “I’m listening,” he confirms, eyes rooted to the screen.

“I wouldn’t suggest this if I didn’t think it would be beneficial for you, Roman. I love you, you know that. And I am here for you, whenever you need me. But there are some things I cannot assist with. Things that need a…professional. L-Like professional help. A therapist maybe.”

His first instinct is to say no. He still remembers the shrink he went to as a teenager. They don’t understand. The woman never understood his pain. After all that talking, she still never understood him. “I don’t think I can, brother,” he confesses quietly.

“I know it’s hard, Roman. I know more than anyone because we’ve been through a lot together. But I’ve been trying to get well so that it won’t affect what I have with Bobby. Do you think you could do the same? For yourself, Seth and your kids. I…don’t want to pressure you, Roman. But I would like for you to please think about it. Everyone just wants to help you, Leati. Because you’re so important to us. And we love you very much.”

“Tyler went to a shrink, and it didn’t help. Y-You remember how Mama took me to one too. I…just don’t think those people can help, Manu. I’ll try to get better on my own. You’re here—I can t-talk to you, can’t I?”

Roman’s forced to forge eye contact with Manuia when the movie is paused. A hand settles on his shoulder, “Yes, you can. I’m always available. But you need to deal with other things, like how Tyler’s death affected you. His actions…everything, Roman. I know you haven’t told me everything—and I’m not forcing you to speak up,” Manuia adds in quickly. “But the time has come. You have someone you love now, and who loves you just as much. You’re going to be a father—you need to get help. It’s no longer an option, if you think about it. It’s something that _has_ to be done. _Please…_ ”

A small grunt is what Manuia receives in return as Roman frantically scrubs on his head before going to hide his face in his hands. He groans loudly, heart beating fast. Manuia’s right. Roman knows he is. But he’s scared—terrified. He’s been trying to run away from all the bad that happened in his younger years for as long as he can remember. Is he even courageous enough to open the dusty closets and let the demons out?

_They are already out._

Roman can’t refute the words. If the demons weren’t out, he wouldn’t be having the dreams. He wouldn’t be hurting Seth. And Tyler, Tyler wouldn’t have such a hold over him. _Manuia’s right._ But it doesn’t mean that Roman still can’t be terrified.

What is he supposed to do?

An image flashes in his eyes. Seth on his lap, his face hidden in the brunet’s neck, listening to him record a new entry on the pregnancy journal.

“I’ll do it,” he whispers, next to inaudible.

“What?” disbelief shines through in Manuia’s voice, a hint of hopefulness can be detected too.

“You heard me,” Roman doesn’t think he has the courage to repeat his words. “Manuia!” he groans, slightly irritated when the big man crushes him into a hug.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you so much Roman!” Manuia is crying.

Roman returns the hug, “I owe it to them to get better,” he whispers.

“You’re right, I’m so proud of you brother,” they pull back, and Manuia has the brightest smile on his face. In his eyes, Roman finds a sunny day brimming with rain. “I love you, you know that?”

“Got the memo a long time ago,” Roman smiles. “If I do this, can I go back home?”

“If? I thought you were.”

“You know what I mean,” a frown knits Roman’s face. “I don’t want to here, Manu. This place, it reminds so much of what I was running away from.”

“We’ll leave tomorrow.”

“I don’t think I can stay here another night,” Roman confesses. He wants to go back home today. Even though a part of him is scared, he hasn’t seen Seth in forever and he wonders how the brunet might react. He knows how much it upsets Seth when he leaves. But Manuia’s said Seth understands. And that the brunet loves him, very much. So maybe he won’t be mad. Roman can’t be sure because he hasn’t spoken to him yet. The other times, Manuia wouldn’t let him. He wasn’t well enough and Manuia didn’t want Seth stressing himself out about his wellbeing. But he’s better now, Roman thinks he’s better. Which is why he wants to go home.

“It’s just one night Roman,” something flashes in Manuia’s, gone too fast for Roman to read. His tone brokers no room for argument. It irks Roman, making him feel uneasy. But he won’t argue—Manuia will think he isn’t trying to get better.

“Tomorrow?” he considers Manuia with an inquisitive look.

“Tomorrow,” is echoed. The film is resumed, and for once Roman actively pays attention to what’s going on. He has a small laugh here and there. He tells Manuia he needn’t stay in his bedroom with him later that night. He feels better, good. And maybe it’s because he knows they’re going back home tomorrow. But he can’t help but think that’s it’s an improvement. And within him, a glimmer of hope surges. Maybe, maybe things will be okay after all.  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya!!! Alright, so I don't think I need to remind you that we're still going through the angst. But I will, and I'll emphasize as I did with my last note to please not read most of the chapter if you're going to be triggered. It's not your fault, but I understand that it happens sometimes and I dont want anyone being triggered or anything like that. I tried to add a bit of happiness with Xavier at the beginning so I think that's safe to read. I'll remind y'all that there's talks of abortion, suicidal thoughts and depression. But you guys get to see finally how Roman found Tyler and it's graphic in terms of well, he did commit suicide as most of you know but there's also the abortion factor. PLEASE DO NOT READ IF SENSITIVE!!! It seriously got to me too.

Seth’s phone rings out, startling him awake. Disorientated, he draws an arm out grabbing for the loud gadget. “Xavier?” It’s still so dark outside, and turning the bedside lamp, he notices that it’s 04:30 in the morning. Why is Xavier calling so early? “Is everything okay?”

“More than okay,” Xavier giggles into the phone. If he weren’t pregnant, Seth would’ve thought the young man was drunk with his rapid giggling. “I have good news, Seth! No, more like GREAT news! The best news of my life actually, second after Randy saying he wants us to keep our daughter!”

Seth sits up now, leaning against the headboard. Xavier’s happiness is infectious, it’s getting to him. More awake now, a little smile slowly tugs at his lips. “What happened, babe?”

“I’m getting married, Seth! Me, married!”

“Whoa, really? Are…Xavier, are you serious right now?” of all the things Seth was expecting, he hadn’t expected Xavier to say that. He smiles broadly, heart fluttering in joy on behalf of his best friend.

“YES!!!” The giggles grow louder, Seth can hear another voice in the background. It’s Randy…and he’s laughing heartily. It weirds Seth out a bit because Randy never laughs. But then he remembers that there’s a lot of things Xavier can lure out of Randy. Laughs too, he guesses.

“Out with it, how? When? Was it romantic?”

“So what happened was my parents came to visit this weekend and—” Xavier’s rambling begins, Seth can already see his hands waving around frantically as he continues on and on about his parents. “—and Randy came into our bedroom with a bruised cheek. I had to laugh at him, I think purple’s a great color on him. Oops, he heard that—here, I’ll kiss it better,” the giggling continues for quite some time. Seth stays on the line, awkward, as Xavier mutters words of affection to Randy. “Seth, you still there?” Xavier seems to finally realize that he put him on hold—without actually doing it.

“I’m here,” Seth confirms quietly. “So your dad was mad Randy got you pregnant?”

“Mhm, but they left together on Saturday—left me and mom all on our own. I guess they were going to talk things out—man to man. Anyway, the proposal. Wait…now that I think about it, he um, didn’t propose. The scumbag…” Xavier sounds anything but mad.

“Oh?”

“Yes, it just happened now. He fetched me from work and then he was like ‘Check the glovebox, I have something for you in there.’ And I did, there was a tiny black box inside and then he said, ‘How do you feel about being an Orton?’”

“No way…” Seth chuckles loudly, creating the memory in his mind.

“Yes way, and it’s not funny Seth. This jerk…wasn’t even romantic.”

Seth is still laughing, he can hear lighthearted arguing between Xavier and Randy in the background. He catches Randy mumbling something about not knowing a thing about romance. And Seth can’t help but think it’s true. But maybe Randy’s improved over the years. He does like surprising Xavier with a chocolate here, a bunch of roses there. Heck, he’s even welcoming to PDA now. Something that he struggled doing for a looong time. Granted, the way he proposed wasn’t exactly romantic but at least he bought the ring.

“Romantic and your boyfriend usually don’t belong in the same sentence, Xav,” Seth decides to remind Xavier that he’s still on the line. Otherwise, he’ll be the awkward eavesdropper again.

Xavier doesn’t respond at first, but then he giggles again—loudly. Seth finds it heartwarming, the young man can’t even contain his happiness. It’s a beautiful thing, at least one of them has some sunshine and roses. “That’s what Randy likes you to think. Romantic is actually his second name, except for today. But he’s lucky I love him.”

“That’s what’s important, babe. And that you’re happy.”

“I’m very happy.”

“I can hear it,” a bittersweet smile strains Seth’s lips. “So, you’re taking his surname…”

“Yes, I mean I know it’s old-fashioned and most people don’t do that anymore. But I think Xavier Orton has a nice ring to it. Or Xavier Woods-Orton. But Randy likes Xavier Orton better, only because he wants me to use his surname. Aren’t you going to do the same for Roman?”

_We’re already kinda married_. “If he asks, maybe I will.” Seth says nothing else, not with the lumps forming in his throat.

“I’m sure he will, you guys are made for each other. Anyway, how have you been? You didn’t sound well the last time we spoke. Is the nausea still getting to you? I know how awful that is.”

The last time they spoke, Seth couldn’t keep the sadness out of his voice. It was this past Friday, just after he’d done his checkup at the hospital. He’s officially in the second trimester, and while it had been great listening to Dr. Baldwin explain the babies’ fourteenth week progress, the whole experience had been bittersweet. Dr. Baldwin had immediately asked him about Roman’s whereabouts, and for a while Seth hadn’t known what to say. A part of him still feels guilty because Roman hadn’t been there with him. He remembers how the royal once told him that he’d never want to miss the doctor’s appointments for the world. But nothing’s ever guaranteed…

“It’s getting better,” Seth says quietly.

“That’s good. And Roman, has he left for work? I remember the last time, when you were trying to hide you had a crush on him but couldn’t stop asking non ending questions about his whereabouts and Manuia said he leaves early.”

Seth goes back in time when Xavier says that. He remembers that morning perfectly well. The morning after Roman had barely kissed him at his home gym. It feels like a lifetime ago, but he still remembers his deep disappointment when he entered the breakfast room with no Roman. And how he’d wished Manuia would take him to Roman. And now he’s…here. Pregnant and—

“He’s an early bird,” Seth blinks his eyes rapidly, forcing the pain away. He doesn’t know why he’s still lying to his friends to be honest. They wouldn’t judge him, if anything they’d be there for him. But if Xavier were to find out that his request for an abortion is what led to the mess Seth finds himself in, the young man probably wouldn’t forgive himself. He’d stress himself out. And Seth, he can’t have that. Not with Xavier pregnant. Besides, one of them has to be happy.

“Oh, alright. Well, greet him for me.”

“I will, Xav…” it comes out shakily, too quiet.

Seth spends over thirty minutes talking to Xavier, trying his hardest to evade the young man’s non ending questions about Roman. It works but he hears Xavier’s suspicion nearing the end of their conversation. Seth issues a quick goodbye then, hanging up before Xavier can ask anything else.

It’s just gone after five, and he’s due to be at Lion Heart at 08:00 so Seth leaves the bed. He does his bout of thirty minute yoga before heading for the bathroom. Thirty minutes later, and he’s done, leaving for the kitchen. “Elias,” he greets, the smell of bacon and eggs assaulting his nostrils.  

“Pretty boy, beautiful as ever like usual.”

Seth rolls his eyes, helping Elias carry their plates to the den. “Thank you,” he says quietly when Elias places a glass of juice in front of him.

“It’s a pleasure,” Elias considers him from head to toe. “You’re up earlier than usual. I thought I’d have to drag you out of bed again.”

“I got a call from a friend very early. I couldn’t go back to sleep afterwards.”

“Oh?” Elias cocks an eyebrow, head tilted in interest.

“Xavier. He’s getting married.”

“I remember him, he looked a bit young to me. And he’s getting married?”

“He’s been dating the same guy for three years now and they’re going strong. Randy loves him too much to walk away from him. I don’t see them parting any time soon.”

Elias nods his head, “Congratulations to him then.”

After breakfast, Seth goes to fetch his duffel bag in the guestroom before heading out of the house with Elias. The car ride is a bit awkward, even after two weeks of staying with Elias. Seth gets the suspicion that the hipster is always trying to figure him out. Yes, he still hasn’t told Elias anything. It’s so soon and he fears breaking apart were he to reveal anything. It’s hard enough that the royal is always invading his thoughts, no matter how hard he tries not to think about him. And a few times last week, Leonie would catch him crying and he wouldn’t even be aware of it.

“Seth, we’re here.”

And _this_ is exactly what he was talking about. Roman is always there, invading his every thought. A tiny sigh leaves him, clearing his vision, he faces Elias. “Thank you for the lift,” Seth has his hand on the door handle.

“Alright, have a good day.” Elias’ smile is sun bright. He squeezes Seth’s shoulder briefly before letting go.

Later on during the day, Seth receives a call from Manuia. It goes unanswered because he’s at the playground with the kids. And it’s only an hour later that he notices that he missed a call from the man. Seth calls him back, anxiously biting his bottom lip. “You called…” he trails off, left hand protectively folded around his middle.

“I did…” Manuia’s tone is strained. “We’re coming back today.”

Seth’s heart beats hard inside his chest, and he grips his cellphone tighter. “Oh?” the anxiety increases tenfold.

“Yes. He wanted to come back last night but I couldn’t do it. I had to speak to you first…let you know that we’re coming back. I have that note you wrote to him with me. I don’t think it’s a good idea to show it to him. Look, I think, maybe if I just explain to him that you have to be away for a while then he’ll understand. He’ll be upset, but I think it’ll turn out much better than that note.”

Seth nods his head, making a conscious effort not to think about how Roman will react. He’s scared if he’s being honest. Because he knows how angry Roman can get sometimes, and he doesn’t want the man to overreact. He hopes Roman will understand. But he can’t be sure, not with how stubborn Roman can be sometimes. “If you think that’s best, Manuia.”

“I do…” the line remains silent for a while. “I guess I should let you know that I’ve also spoken to his mother yesterday. She’s in Italy, has a few responsibilities there. But she’ll be here latest on Sunday. You should probably expect her call sometime today or tomorrow. I didn’t tell her much but she knows you’re separated, and about the incident at the hospital.”

“Great,” Seth sighs dejectedly into the phone. He’s not looking forward to talking to Roman’s mother to be honest. He has no courage to speak to anyone who isn’t Manuia. The Queen will probably ask too many questions. And he’s not eager on sharing. It’s too much. Everything feels like too much effort.

“Don’t be like that,” Manuia breaks him out of his thoughts. He’s cackling softly into the phone. “You know she won’t kill you. More than anything, she’ll probably want to get your version of the story. And offer a few words of comfort. I don’t think it’ll be too bad.”

“I hope not, Manuia. I don’t think I’m really ready to talk yet. My friends don’t even know I’m not staying at the mansion anymore. They don’t know that Roman…” he trails off, another sigh painfully sneaking past his lips. “I wish I could wake up to find that this was all a bad dream, Manuia. I want my life back before all this happened. I…want _him._ I miss him, so much. And I can’t even be with him.”

“We can’t always get what we want, Seth. Life isn’t always sunshine and roses. But you’ll get through this because you both love each other. Even if you didn’t want to, our ancestors will probably force both of you into each other’s arms. You’re practically married now,” Manuia teases.

Seth manages a quiet laugh, spending another five minutes talking to Manuia before the big man announces he has to drop the call, “I think we’ll be home around five, latest six. I gotta explain things to him first,” Manuia says finally, silently.

“Okay, thank you so much Manuia…” Seth slumps against his chair once the call disconnects. Tremulously, he grabs one of the framed pictures on his desk. It’s more intimate than most of the pictures in his office. In the picture, he’d captured Roman at his most vulnerable. The royal’s asleep, his imposing body taking up most of the bed. Seth normally teases Roman about how he sleeps, it’s always the same. Roman lies flat on his back, left arm folded beneath his head. His face is always turned to Seth’s direction, it never matters where they are. Roman always tells him it’s because he’s drawn to him, even in his sleep. And Seth always laughs, because the royal always knows what to say.

Softly, his lips touch the picture while his eyes slide shut. He’s so exhausted to be honest. His spirit more than his body. He really wants to rewind the past few weeks, back to the night of the hospital just before Xavier had asked for an abortion. And for Roman to have not been in the hospital room with them when Xavier made that request. But he knows it’s not possible. He’s just being naïve. And lingering on the ‘what ifs’ won’t make everything go away.

A knock on the door stops his musings. Seth opens his eyes, dabbing the wetness in his eyes. “Enter!” he’s thankful that his voice comes out steady.

“Seth?” Leonie’s small round face appears from behind the door. “You got a minute? I need to run something past you.”

“Sure,” Seth clears his throat, placing the picture in it’s original position. He stands up, following Leonie outside.

* * *

 

“Manuia?” Roman calls out, momentarily confused when he doesn’t find his bodyguard in the living room. He spent less than a minute in the bathroom and now the man’s gone. He finds the kitchen empty, and makes an exit through the backyard to look for the man. “Oh there you are. Who were you calling?” he points to Manuia’s phone.

“…Seth,” the answer comes a second too long.

“Oh…” Roman’s heart beats faster. “Why didn’t you call me?”

“Because…we have to talk Roman,” Manuia’s accent sneaks through. He gestures for Roman to join him at the patio. “We’re leaving in thirty,” Manuia informs him as soon as he settles on one of the chaise lounges.

“Okay,” Roman nods his head.

Manuia rolls his shoulders. He’s about to reveal some bad news. And licks his lips before saying softly, “Seth has left the mansion for a bit.”

“Where’d he go? Lion Heart?”

“N-No, he _left_ Roman. Y-You see o-on the day of the graduation—after Xavier fainted, you t-took Seth to the hospital. And then something happened there, Roman. Randy’s spouse, he found out he w-was pregnant a-and then he asked for an—abortion. Apparently you got angry and—”

_Abortion._

Roman tries to sound unperturbed and to listen to what Manuia has to say but _that_ word rings loudly in his mind. He can slowly hear the voices slithering into his mind—vicious as ever. He shakes his head furiously, wanting to drive them away.

_“At this point, I think it’s safe to say that it was both a suicide and an abortion. At least that’s what it looks like. The pills that we found at Mamani contain rat poison and traces of mifepristone and misoprostol.”_

The voice comes out of nowhere, slamming into his mind without the slightest mercy. Roman grips his hair, howling out in pain. No, no, no. Why is this happening? He doesn’t want to remember. _It hurts._ A hand settles on his shoulder and he pushes it away, his vision blurring. _Your fault._ His mind taunts. Roman can’t deny it. Maybe if Tyler had gone with Jey, he’d still be alive.

_“I could’ve loved him better, you know that?”_

_Roman hears that voice from behind him, it’s malicious as usual. Here to taunt him. But still he nods his head, unable to face Jey. His lips move soundlessly, salty liquid wetting them. He’d been a fool from the beginning, thinking he could ever love Tyler enough. For making all those plans. It should’ve been Jey instead. “I’m sorry,” he whispers through trembling lips, gathering enough courage to turn around. “Ua ou faanoanoa,” he repeats, apologizing because Jey is right._

_That earns him a fist close to his right eye. “FUCK YOUR APOLOGIES!” He bites on his tongue, holding back a pained cry. How can he cry when it’s Jey who deserves to do that? He never got to have anything with Tyler. Because of his selfishness. If Roman had only realized that Jey would’ve done a better job maybe they wouldn’t be here. The fists fly to every body part, but Roman won’t fight back. He deserves this. He’s the reason they’re both in so much pain._

_Your fault. Your fault. Your fault._

The words roll through his brain over and over again. It’s pure torture. A guttural cry comes from deep inside of his throat, his growls sounding like those of an injured animal. The one memory he’s been working so hard to have tucked deep into the closets is slowly creeping out. Roman hasn’t an idea how to chase it away. He can feel it overpowering him, and he doubles over in pain. He’s tired of fighting it. He lets the torture creep in, body trembling from the cold.

_His feet pound harder against the damp earth, heart beating faster and faster. His lungs hurt, it feels like there’s an invisible noose around his neck growing tighter with each run. It’s too dark for him to see clearly, and with the rain falling heavily, it makes the forests appear menacing._

_But Roman’s undeterred, even as the water whips his skin, burning him cold. His tired feet crunch against damp twigs, small branches shredding his tattered shirt and stabbing into his skin. Roman doesn’t care, he’s been searching forever. He won’t stop until he finds Tyler._

_He runs deeper into the forests, eyes darting left and then right. “TYLER!” his throat burns viciously, protesting the action. He’s been shouting for hours, maybe over a day. He’s not sure anymore. Trembling feet freeze when he spots something light just a few feet ahead._

_The movement of his feet pick up again, faster than ever before. “No,” comes out strangled, as his feet give out at the sight in front of him. Blood. There’s too much of it. “Tyler? W-What's wrong?” he croaks, hauling Tyler’s limp body into his arms. Too cold. On instinct, Roman cocoons the cold body in his arms._

_A pool of blood stains his body, smearing his hands. “Tyler?” Roman’s chilled fingers brush along Tyler’s sheer skin, staining it red. The panic sets in when he receives no response, he taps Tyler’s cheek, heart beating fast. There’s no breathing, no heartbeat…no pulse. “Tyler come on, please wake up!” the tears build up harder than before, heavy like a rainstorm._

_And then Roman shakes his head furiously, groaning wretchedly. “No, nuh-uh, Tyler. No! Aulelei, wake up. You’re not going to do this to me,” he hugs Tyler’s body to him, pulling the small boy onto his lap. “You said you wouldn’t leave. Remember! Y-You promised me. So wake up, I’m not playing Tyler. Wake up!” he screams, shaking a limp Tyler viciously. Something soft touches his the fabric of his pants plastered to his skin. That’s where the blood is coming from._

_Shakily, Roman’s right hand travels, inspecting. His quivering eyes widen. No, no, no. Roman’s hands work faster than his mind can keep up. Trembling and cold, they lift up the tiny…oh god, it’s so tiny. “Tyler…!” Roman lifts the tiny, bloody body into his palms. It’s so minuscule, even in his hands._

_Blinking, he stares at the tiny body covered by some a strange bag. And then he stares at Tyler’s limp form slumped against his chest. A myriad of feelings crash through him. Rage. Sadness. Denial. Wretchedness. Guilt. A loud, anguished cry echoes in the forests. It sounds like that of a wounded animal._

_The cries get louder and louder, Roman feeling his heart piecing into a billion pieces with each passing second. “I-I, s-somebody help—me!” he stumbles over his words, shards ripping into his throat. Maybe, maybe this is a dream. He’s having a nightmare. He just needs to close his eyes and then it’ll all disappear._

_Raman squeezes his eyes shut, heavy tears merging with the rain._

_One…_

_You’re dreaming. All of this not real._

_Two…_

_It’s a nightmare, no big deal. Tyler has those too, he'll wake you up and laugh at you for being such a crybaby._

_Three._

_Just a night—why is the rain still pelting his skin? This isn’t how it’s supposed to go. This, this is a dream. It’s only a dream. He opens his eyes, meeting his worst nightmare again. Roman shakes his head furiously, his broken cries sounding in the forests. He falls back to the wet ground with Tyler and their…and their…_

_Roman’s sobs grow heavier. He cries for what feels like forever before something breaks inside him. He shuts down, protecting himself against the myriad of emotions attacking him. Numbness slithering in. He removes his shirt, wrapping it around their bodies. Loud hiccups sneak past his blue lips as he stares at his family. His lips change red when he plants a kiss to the tiny body in between himself and Tyler._

_Closing his eyes, Roman hugs his family tighter. Maybe if they stay like this, they’ll be together forever. Everything becomes silent, his mind draining out every thought, every emotion. Roman feels nothing at all as he lies in the forest with Tyler and their baby. He can’t feel the cold sinking in, can’t feel how it seeps into his marrows. Or how his visions dims by the minute as he teeters on the edge of nonexistence._

“Tyler!” Roman chokes out, the tears pressing the back of his eyes, fighting to break free. He’s feeling too much. Too much sound. Too much emotion. Even his skin feels like it’s being whipped by too many things. Too much air. Too much cold. But it’s also hot. Too hot. And the memories just keep crashing through him. He doesn’t know what to do but everything’s so uncomfortable.

Roman stands up, shakily removing all piece of clothing off of his body. He can’t breathe right. And he can feel the wetness dampening his face. Everything is still so much, the chaos all around him. The harder he tries to breathe, the more it feels like everything is closing in on him. And then it happens, like an unexpected load shedding flooding an entire town with darkness.

Roman shuts down.

Darkness surrounds him, and he can’t see a thing. He’s in an invisible tunnel with the world turning foggy right in his eyes. Roman can hear someone calling out his name but it’s all too faint now. Everything is fading, the darkness dulling his senses. Roman can feel someone taking his shoulders. But then again he can’t. It feels like he’s out of his body, unseeing as he’s guided back to the house.

But the exhaustion hits him again, drawing him out of his dark hole. It’s accompanied by another vicious memory.

_“Row-man? Please, Row-man slow down. Please!”_

The memory slams through him unexpectedly, so sudden that Roman doubles over on the bed. Clenching his eyes against the flashbacks he can’t prevent from taunting him. Xavier’s request. Going home. And Seth…

_Dear god._

“I’m—sorry!” he cracks out to no one, repeating the words like a broken record. And then the torture deepens. Because he can feel Seth’s body under him, trembling in anguish. He can hear Seth’s pained cries, they echo loudly in his ears. Roman can _see,_ every contorted expression, every visible pain, every fear. It’s all staring back at him. The hurt tears him apart the most.

“Roman?” The tone is panicked.

Roman’s opens his eyes, groaning at how his vision is swimming. The tears fall harder with each rapid blinking. “Manu…!” he cries out when he meets familiar brown eyes. “I-I hurt h-him again,” the memory of that _night_ keeps playing, his own personal horror slide. “I-I...” Roman’s breath stutters. But he somehow manages to break through one sensible word before the rambling begins. Everything from leaving for the hospital with Seth to what happened at home. It’s his mouth uttering the words but it strangely doesn’t feel like his body. He can feel the wetness on his face, can hear his voice. But it doesn’t feel like him. He mumbles incoherently until finally the exhaustion can’t be ignored anymore.

***

When he wakes up, Roman’s still exhausted. And he notices that it’s dark outside. A part of him wishes he hadn’t woken up because sleep means quiet. And quiet means no torture. It means he can run away from it all. Escape the horror reality he wakes up to every single day. Maybe it would be better if he slept and never woke up.

“Oh good, you’re awake.”

It registers a minute too late that he isn’t alone in the room. Roman sits up the bed just as a shuffling sounds in the room before the lamp turns on. His eyes are mostly sensitive these days so they crinkle at the corners adjusting to the orange light.

“How did you sleep?”

“Don’t know,” he shrugs, burying his face into his hands to let through a heavy sigh.

“That’s fair,” Manuia sits on the bed next to him. “We need to talk, if you’re up for it.”

Roman considers Manuia, nodding his head but dreading any conversations at the moment. He’s feeling so many emotions towards himself, so dark and so depressing that he can’t bear them. There’s always an ominosity in his soul—and he can’t escape it. No matter how hard he tries. But he wants to get better. And getting better means targeting his demons head-on. There is no other way.

“So you remember now…the day of Seth’s graduation,” Manuia says quietly.

Of course he’d begin with that. The one conversation Roman had been hoping to avoid. But he’s slowly learning the damage that running away can cause. He’s damaged goods. And now he’s damaging Seth. Crippling their future. Hurting their love. He doesn’t want to anymore. Because he loves Seth, he really does. With everything in him.

“Yes,” it’s a clipped response. A safe one, Manuia already knows what happened. They don’t have to revisit that night again.

But then Manuia considers him with a soft expression, asking “Can you tell me what happened?”

Roman’s immediate instinct is to say no. No and no, to infinity. Because he can’t stand to talk about it. But he _needs_ to get better. And that means _talking. And not running away._ Fists clenching to his eyes, he lets out a tremulous breath before responding.

“The friend wanted to kill his daughter,” he pauses, chasing away the pain. The memories. He doesn’t want to slip back into the dark hole again. “I got…upset. I left to wait for Seth in the car but he was taking too long so I went back. Got him, and went home. And then at home, I… _hurt_ him. I couldn’t take his cries, it was too much for me to handle so I left…and now we’re here,” Roman licks his dry lips, parting them as he fights for air. He’s fighting for more oxygen again. Breathing never seems to come easy these days.

“Open your eyes, Roman.”

They snap open, his eyes, focusing on Manuia. Who has the brightest smile on his face. “I’m proud of you, for attempting to do this. I want us to continue, if you don’t mind?”

Roman shakes his head no.

“Good,” Manuia smiles. “There are so many things we need to address, brother. But right now, we’ll talk about Seth. I…told you that he left. I don’t want you to think he’s abandoned you,” Manuia says quickly, probably seeing the pained expression he’s unable to hide. “After what happened that night, he just needed to put the babies first Roman. He loves you, so much. He tells me all the time when I speak to him. And he hates that things have to be this way but it’s for the best. We need to tackle the past first. There is no future if don’t deal with what happened in the past. It’ll always get in the way in your relationship with Seth and also your children. Like it’s doing now. So I want you to understand—the two of you can’t be together right now. Not until you deal with the past.”

_No. No. No._

His mind keeps yelling, because Seth promised he wouldn’t leave. “He promised, Manuia, he said he wouldn’t leave me…” Roman looks at Manuia, brows furrowed. “But he left…like Tyler. Like Nikki,” and then he laughs, hysterically. “I should’ve known. From the beginning, I should’ve known.”

“No, it’s not like that, Roman. I promise you it isn’t like that,” Manuia’s hand grips his shoulder. “Seth _loves_ you, more than you could ever envision. But he can’t be with you if the past will just get in your way. It’s hurting him that he’s away from you but you have to fix _you,_ Roman. Seth can’t do that for you—and I-I don’t mean to upset y-you, but it’s just like you couldn’t do it with Tyler. Because we’re all responsible for ourselves. The only thing Seth can do is be there for you, and he is…in here,” Manuia pats his chest. “But the rest is up to you.”

Roman nods his head blindly. He doesn’t want to talk about this anymore. Because the longer Manuia tries to explain, the more his mind refuses to see reason. And a part of him can’t help but feel like a failure. Maybe he wasn’t ever meant for relationships. He clearly isn’t loving right. “Hey, at least I almost made it to six months this time, right?” a strained smile stretches his lips.

“Roman—”

“It’s a joke, Manuia. Can we just, can we leave this place? I want to go home. I’m sure I have plenty of work needing my attention.” Roman leaves the bed, noticing he’s naked. Walking to the closet, he scans the drawers for fresh clothes, cursing loudly in Samoan when the pair of jeans he grabs drop to the floor.

“Roman—”

“I AM FINE!” he narrows his eyes at Manuia, forcefully snatching his jeans away from the man. A twinge of guilt settles in his heart, he shouldn’t have done that. Manuia’s the only who understands him. Who genuinely cares, unlike— “I’m—sorry for shouting, brother. It’s not your fault,” he turns to face Manuia.

“It’s okay,” it doesn’t look like it, not with Manuia’s strained features. “I’ll grab your suitcase. Why don’t you wait for me outside the house?”

Roman nods his head, shakily walking outside. He leans against the black Bentley, eyes clenched tight. He feels sick all of a sudden, retching sick. And it’s all stemming from the whirlwind of emotions crashing through him. Anger. Sadness. Guilt. Dread. Desolation. It’s all a rollercoaster of feelings that are making him so _sick_ and he can feel the waterworks fighting to break free and he stubbornly forces them away this time. If Tyler’s death taught him anything, it was never to be _weak_ again. And he won’t allow it, it’s happened enough these past weeks. But he’s not going to entertain any weakness anymore. He refuses.

“Ready to go?” Manuia breaks his thoughts.

Roman looks up, nodding affirmative and getting into the car.

“We’re a little behind schedule because you know…someone’s a snoozer,” Manuia teases when he joins him in the car. “So I’m guessing we’ll make it home around nine. If there isn’t too much traffic, anyway.”

Roman says nothing, he turns the radio on, finding the jazz station. It’s been too long since he listened to any music but immediately the notes reach his ears, he finds his heart lulling a bit and his mind pausing. It’s a pleasure, something he never gets to experience often. But he remembers, how everything would shut down when he was with Seth. Even thoughts of Tyler sometimes.

They reach the mansion at nine o’clock exactly as Manuia had predicted. Roman insists on carrying his bag himself. As soon as they enter the front door, he finds himself being brought into a small body tightly. And the kisses to his cheek are non ending. Roman sighs—mildly annoyed, mildly amused by Masina’s tactics. She’s an overbearing mother.

“I see you took great care of him,” Masina hums approvingly as she gives him a once over.

“What can I say? I’ve got the magic touch,” Manuia grins cheekily.

Bobby steps forward, firmly shaking his hand. “Welcome back, brother.”

“Thanks Bobby,” Roman goes a step further, giving Bobby a small hug.

“Are you hungry? It was quite a long drive the two of you were making.”

“Not for me, Masina,” Roman tells the elderly woman. “I am going to bed.”

“Are you sure? I made all your favorites.”

“I’m sure, besides, it’s a little late for dinner.”

“Well okay then, how about you Manuia?”

Manuia also shakes his head no, “Thanks but I don’t think so Masina,” he averts his gaze to Roman. “Will you be okay? I just want to go place my bags quickly.”

Roman snorts, already climbing up the stairs. He’s not incompetent. “What am I, a child?”

“That’s your middle name actually, you jackass!”

“I’m still your Prince, and I command some respect.”

“That doesn’t make you any less of a baby,” Manuia smirks.

“Whatever,” Roman snorts out a little laugh before disappearing into the direction of his bedroom. Light floods the room immediately he enters. The air smells clean, the room looking even cleaner. Roman looks around, everything is still the same. He can see every single thing he’s ever done with Seth here. The first time he shared the California King bed with Seth. Helping Seth document his belly bump progress. The ultrasound scan pictures that have been enlarged and framed to the walls. The room is flooded with so many warm memories.

But it’s still so cold.

It’s like entering a foreign room. The memories are there but it still doesn’t feel like home. Because the person who’d ever made his house a home isn’t here. He…left. The myriad of emotions crash through him again. He has no idea how to tame them. They’re all bombarding him at the same time. But Roman can’t handle them. They need to go away, everything needs to be gone.

Dropping his suitcase to the floor, Roman removes his sweater, leaving him only in a pair of jeans. “Oh, I was just coming to you. Where are you going?” Manuia finds him at the bottom of the stairs.

“I haven’t—exercised in a while,” Roman doesn’t pause to look at Manuia. “What is it?” he glowers at his bodyguard when the big man grips his wrist.

“I just, you said you wanted to sleep. What’s changed?”

“I can’t sleep in there,” Roman breaks free from the hold on his wrist. “I’m going to get acquainted with the gym for a bit, it’s been a while.”

“Alright, can I join you?”

Roman knows what Manuia is doing and it irks him. He’s not some nutcase who needs to be handled with care. Sure, the couple of days haven’t been easy. But he’s willing to get better. Shouldn’t that tell Manuia something? “I’ll be fine. I just want to be alone for a bit, Manu. No offense, but you’re kinda suffocating me.”

Manuia regards him carefully, Roman stares right back—unwavering. The staring contest seems to last forever before Manuia nods his head albeit reluctantly. “Okay, but you should know that I’ll be sleeping in the house with you for a while. I’m in the room next to your bedroom.”

Roman breathes out a tiny snort, “As long as you and Bobby will keep it down. I don’t need to hear you screaming about Bobby’s big dick.”

Manuia laughs. Loudly. While Roman rolls his eyes, because he still has nightmares on that one time he caught his bodyguard going at it with Bobby in his car. “Lucky for you, Bobby’s not leaving the compound. It’ll be me and you.”

“And I’m just beaming with joy,” Roman says sarcastically. He leaves a chuckling Manuia to his own devices heading for the home gym. Roman narrows his gaze on the punching bag immediately he enters. He’s unbothered by the darkness as his bare fists connect with the tall leather bag. With each punch, Roman feels like he’s fighting the devil himself.

He throws a combination of hooks, jabs and uppercuts. Five minutes into this, and he’s sweating profusely but Roman never once stops what he’s doing. The myriad of emotions he’s trying to get rid of won’t let him go. The emotions of disgust at himself are still there taunting him. But Seth dominates his thoughts more than he wants him to. And the more Roman takes his frustrations out on the punching bag, trying to drive the brunet away, the more Seth seems to swirl around his mind.

Roman can’t help but feel betrayed. Seth had promised, he promised he wouldn’t leave. But he’s not here. The one time where Roman needs him the most and the brunet’s abandoned him. And then there’s the helpless sadness. He’s alone again. All this time he’d been making plans with Seth just for the brunet to leave him. He feels like a failure but he’s angry too. He has no right to feel that way but he does. Seth had _promised._ He heartlessly let Roman fall and then he bailed. With no explanation. Just a blindside. And this is why he hadn’t wanted to fall. Because people make promises and then they leave.

Roman releases every black emotion to the punching bag, but he’s too angry. Feeling too much it scares him. And they won’t go away. No matter how hard he tries, the black feelings won’t leave him. The punching bag gives out eventually, it’s white substance scattering to the floor from being damaged. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!” Roman growls, pushing the offending bag away.

He finds himself in his study next, unsure as to when he got there. Roman sits in the darkness, bottle of whisky held in a white-knuckled grip. His mind is a chaotic mess with too many thoughts and whispers in his head. He takes a swig of his whisky, trying to push everything away. It’s strange, the more he tries to get rid of everything the more it feels like the whole world is weighing down on him.

Tyler pokes at his mind, and then he’s thinking about small insignificant details about Nikki. And then there’s Seth. Who’s abandoned him. He’s gone. With their children. Seth is taking everything from him. Roman feels like he’s losing everything. He’s sat at the very front of the cinema, watching his whole world fall apart.

His vision swims, things turning murky again. Roman’s lips touch the whisky bottle, without pause this time. The golden liquid barely burns his throat—he’s been drinking whisky since he was sixteen. A frown taints his face when the alcohol is finished less than five minutes after he’d been drowning it down his throat. Roman stands up, scanning his drawers.

Roman grabs every bottle of whisky in the cabinets. They are placed on the mahogany desk. He doesn’t know how many bottles he drowns himself in it until his head is swimming. And then his mind’s telling him to find Seth. Because the brunet can’t abandon him. If he explains how he’s dealing with the past now then Seth has to come back. _He has to come back._

Roman scans his desk for his phone. There are too many empty bottles. His hand slides on the desk, shoving every bottle to the ground. They land with a crash on the floor, soiling the expensive Persian carpet. Roman feels blurry at the edges, but he still manages to find his telephone. He dials a number, unsure if it’s the right one. Usually he has an elephant’s memory. _He never forgets._ But right now he can’t be sure. Not with his blurry mind. “Boss?” that voice startles him lightly, it’s disorientated. “It’s nearing one in the morning. You alright?”

“I need your assistance,” uttering the words feels funny. They are too round, Roman hasn’t an idea what’s happening.

* * *

 

Seth wakes up with a jolt.

He can’t place the feeling but he just knows that something is wrong. The room is dark, _too_ _dark_ for his liking so he scrambles to turn the bedside lamp on because maybe he’ll feel better. He takes a deep breath, releases it easing the churning in his tummy with soothing rubs. He leans against the headboard for what feels like forever before finally gathering enough courage to go back to sleep.

And that’s when he hears the noises.

It’s all incoherent at first—loud voices that remind Seth of his days at The Black Vault. But the more he strains his ears, the more recognizable the voices become. And _one_ of those _voices_ cause Seth’s heartrate to spike up in an instant. The words, “O fea oi ai o ia?!” are snapped out in barely concealed anger.

And Seth doesn’t need to be a genius to figure out that the _he_ in Roman’s growled ‘Where is he?’ is him. His heart clenches tightly and he tries to lessen the feeling by rubbing on his chest. He can still hear the commotion outside and his ears don’t catch much of what Elias is saying. It’s mostly Roman’s voice that he’s focused on. He sounds angry. _Too angry._ It has Seth trembling cold. And then he hears the words, “O LE A OU FA'AUMATIA OE!” they are growled out. And Seth isn’t there yet with his Samoan. But he still knows exactly what Roman was yelling to Elias. ‘I will ruin you.’

Seth is already forcing the fear away, leaving the bed in a rush. He yanks the door open, rushing out into the hallway and to the front door. Elias is blocking the door with his large body but Roman’s bigger. Seth can see his obsidian eyes glowering at Elias. The royal isn’t even wearing any upper garment, he’s only in a pair of fitting dark jeans.

“Row-man!” he hates the way his voice cracks.

“Seth, what are you doing here? Go back to bed. I’ll take care of this,” Elias speaks first, impatience in his voice.

“No, he’s coming with me!” the dark eyes burn red hot. They find him, those dark orbs find him. Blurry as they swim with too much emotion. Roman isn’t concealing anything—every emotion is right there for Seth to see. His anger, his sadness, his pain. It’s all too much for Seth to take. Seth licks his chapped lips, wordlessly moving his mouth. “We need to talk,” Roman says through gritted teeth.

“Back up, back up. It’s nearing 02 fucking 30 in the _morning._ You are not going to do this. Go back home, Seth’s not going to talk to you now.”

Roman shakes his head furiously, getting into Elias’ face. “E te iloa o ai a’u?” it’s asked so coldly, Roman’s eyes going back to their dark almost lifeless state as they narrow in on Elias. It sends unpleasant shivers down Seth’s spine.

“What? What is he saying? Am I supposed to be scared and running for the hills now?” Elias laughs condescendingly, inching closer to Roman. “I think it’s in your best interests to leave this place.”

“I think not,” Roman tilts his head. The royal finds Seth again, focusing all of his attention to him. “We’re going to talk, Seth. Right now.”

“Are you—”

“Elias!” Seth speaks up before he can stop himself. Their arguing is getting to him, and it’s really not helping that they’re arguing about him as if he isn’t here. “It’s alright.” He whispers, forcing a pained breath from his lungs.

Elias turns to face him. His gaze clearly asking if Seth’s gone insane. And the brunet wants to laugh bitterly to himself because maybe he has. Because maybe this isn’t a good idea, not with how angry Roman looks. But Seth sees no other way. Roman won’t leave. And they’re causing a commotion. Elias has neighbors. Seth won’t have his laundry hung out like that.

“Please, Elias. I’ll be fine,” his feet carry him to the hipster without notice. And he takes a deep breath, trying to appear as unperturbed as possible. It’s hard with the way his body is shaking but he manages a small smile. “Just go, Elias. Please…”

Elias scrutinizes him for an eternity, his brows furrowed. When Elias finally nods his head, it’s done with a tiny sigh and a clenched jaw. The hug Elias brings him to is nothing out of the ordinary these past two weeks. But Roman’s _here._ And these two dislike each other. And maybe Roman will overreact. Seth pulls away, humming in acknowledgement when Elias tells him he’ll be in his room and to shout if he needs anything.  

“Roman,” he begins quietly once Elias is out of view, observing the man in front of him. Roman’s dark eyes have a haziness in them. And he smells like too much whisky. He’s been drinking.

Roman says nothing. His dark gaze never leaves Seth though. But those dark orbs have turned lifeless, there’s no depth in them. Roman resembles a mannequin. And Seth is trying not to fidget, but his hands are shaking so hard. He’s trying to come up with the words to explain, but his mind is working slower. Like it always does when Roman’s like this.  

It’s probably five minutes later that Roman nods his head as if he finally understands something, “O le auala lea e te le faaaloalo ai ia te au?”

The tears are already rolling down Seth’s cheeks as he shakes his head frantically, “No, Roman. I’m not disrespecting you. I-I just—”

“THEN WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?” Roman roars, getting into his face. “What are you doing here Seth, mhm? In another man’s house? Playing happy family while you’re carrying my kids!”

Seth’s eyes widen, his lips tremble while he tries to explain, “That’s not what I’m doing. I, just...I-I didn’t know where to go, Row-man. Y-You hurt m-me and then you—”

Roman maneuvers past him.

It takes a second too long for the detail to register in Seth’s brain but once it does, he’s closing the door and rushing back inside the house. “Which one’s your room? You’re not going to stay here.” Roman doesn’t stop to face him. He enters the hallway, opening one door after the other.

Seth catches up to him, gripping his wrist in panic. “Roman, you can’t do this. Please, you’re drunk and t-the alcohol, it’s clouding your judgement. Look, I-I will—”

“NO!” Roman can’t be reasoned with. Seth’s heart threatens to beat right out of his chest when Roman turns to face him. The man looks exactly like he did that night at the hospital. Seth can’t find his boyfriend anywhere in the livid black eyes. “Where’s your room, Seth? You’re not spending another night here. You’re not going to,” Roman says through clenched teeth.

A door opens, Seth knows it’s Elias. He doesn’t think, just purely acts on instinct when he drags Roman to his room and closes the door behind him. He sags against the door while Roman looks around, until he lands on the closet. And the man’s charging towards it like a mad man, and yanking it open. “I’m not going to allow you to do this, Seth. You promised me, you’re not going to leave me just like that. A-And my k-kids. W-What about my k-kids?” Roman’s muttering the words to himself. He’s dragged Seth’s suitcase out of the closet, and he’s snatching every piece of item he recognizes out of the closet.

Seth’s feet are shaky when they reach Roman at the closet, picking up the clothes that have fallen to the floor. Roman snatches those clothes out of his hands, marching to place them in the suitcase. Seth doesn’t stop him, he stands aside, until the man’s done. His vision is swimming but he manages to see Roman’s expectant eyebrow once he’s packed every piece of clothing. “We’re leaving,” Roman’s tone brokers no room for argument.

“I can’t Row-man,” Seth swallows the lumps in his throat.

The emotions flash in Roman’s eyes. So many of them, ranging from anger to betrayal. They’re too much for Seth’s heart to take. Subconsciously, he steps closer to a shaking Roman. Slowly his left hand lifts up to stroke Roman’s cheek. His beard has grown thicker, it’s almost as thick as Elias’. And he makes it look so good, Seth won’t deny that. But he’s also too tense, too angry. He’s volatile. “I love you. _It’s_ _you_ , Roman. It will always be you. No one else but you.”

Roman’s jaw tightens, dark eyes stormy. “Then why are you doing this?”

“Because you left me n-no choice, Roman. What happened that night—I’m just trying to look out for our children. I want you to deal with…the past. A-And how—”

“I’ll see a therapist. I already agreed, ask Manuia. So you can come back home. Don’t do this Seth, you promised me. You can’t just abandon me.”

“I haven’t abandoned you, Roman. I’m with you, always.”

Roman nods his head, going to grab the suitcase he was packing. “Then come back home.”

“I…can’t,” Seth cracks out, vision blurring again.

He’s skittish, and jumps a bit when Roman carelessly throws the suitcase on the floor. The royal laughs hysterically, throwing his hands up in the air. “THEN WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT, SETH? TO KILL ME? LIKE T-TYLER? WHAT ABOUT YOUR PROMISE? YOU SAID YOU WOULDN’T LEAVE ME!” Roman’s in his face now, he’s enraged.

“That isn’t what I’m doing,” Seth stumbles on his words, quickly getting them out. “Roman, I am not abandoning you. Please, understand. L-Look at how you’re behaving. Look at what the past is doing to our relationship. I-I can’t go back h-home, not when you’re—” his wet lips move soundlessly as he tries to find the correct words. “Right now, the only thing you need to be focused on is your wellbeing. I want you to get better, and if I go back home—I’ll only be in the way. You need to deal with this, all of it without any distractions. And I need to take care of the babies. Please understand, please Reigns…” his fear never seems to overpower his instinct. It explains why Seth pulls Roman’s head to his, pressing his forehead against the taller man’s.

Roman’s chest is heaving, his body is still so rigid. Seth feels Roman’s hand travel to the back of his neck tightening to the point of being painful, it has him clenching his eyes tightly. Roman’s breath fans his ear, ragged, he’s trying to calm himself down. It feels like forever before Roman speaks again, “I don’t want you to stay here,” the volatile emotions are still there. And it isn’t a request, Seth can hear it clearly in Roman’s voice. “Anywhere but here.”

“Okay,” he whispers shakily. Maybe he has to sacrifice a bit--it's all he ever seems to have to do with Roman. But he’s not sure where he’s supposed to go now. He’d come to Elias’ home because the man’s the only friend Seth has made outside of Roman’s family. And right now, he’s not really comfortable with staying with any of them. “I…just don’t know where to go.”

“I’ll buy you a house if I have to, _please._ ”

Seth nods his head, biting his bottom lip hard. It’s to prevent any more tears from falling. And his eyes are still closed so tightly. He can hear Roman’s heartbeat. It’s rhythmic in it’s unsteadiness. Such a beautiful sound. Roman’s lips touch his hair gently, softly—drawing out a sigh from him. His whole mind, body and soul react to the touch. Nothing out of the ordinary. But a part of him hates it if he’s being honest. Because deep down, he can’t help but think that this is the same man who hurts him so much. But he’s been discovering a few things about himself. And one of those are that he’s a masochist. He’s a masochist for the man holding him possessively in his arms.

Sometimes he wonders how his life would’ve turned out if he’d declined Roman’s offer and left Miami. His heart always answers for him, with an ache that never ceases to steal his breath away. And it’s with the ache that he always remembers Elias’ words. Roman breaks his heart sometimes. But it still beats for him. No one else but him.

“I love you,” Roman says quietly into his ear.

His neck’s still being held but the grip has lessened making it easier for Seth to look into Roman’s eyes. They are too blank for him to read. “I love you too,” he returns more honest than he’s ever been. _Definitely a masochist._

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, when I listen to Lady Antebellum's Home, I'm always reminded of Rolleigns. But in this case, I think it suits Randy and Xavier too. If you want to know a bit about them, I think that song is perfect. Thoughts?


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiii, you guys!!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! The Cancer in me will be a sap and say I love you guys so much. I hope this year grants you happiness, your desires . Also, I am so sorry for the silence. But I think I mentioned in the previous note, I think, that I was in the rural areas--the service sucked there. Plus those people are so patriarchal, you guys. So we basically had to clean, and cook and blah, blah, blah. LOL, they even called me lazy because I just couldn't deal. But I enjoyed it, I rarely go home so I met people I didn't know. Saw all these domestic animals. The cows, and goats, and chickens and suff. And OMG, there was this cock (that chicken is worthy of the name, tbh). And like one day, I was leaving my cousin's house to go to my mom's rondavel. And so I momentarily pause because of the ruckus with the chickens. And this cock is chasing around this hen. Before i know it, the thing jumps on it's feet on top of the hen's body. LOL, i dont know how chicken sex works but what I saw on that day will remain with me for life. My whole family laughed at me, but it was all just wow. My holidays were really awesome. I hope you guys enjoyed your holidays too. Happy New Year once again, even if I'm terribly late! Much love <3

Seth can’t remember the last time he visited The Grill Lounge. He knows that it’s been a couple of months though, well over two, he thinks. But immediately he enters the pub and grill, a waft of fresh air fills his lungs. Which is funny because the eatery is packed like sardines. There aren’t too many empty booths, and the sound of vibrant chatter dominate the whole restaurant.

He spots a very busy-looking Curtis, who is juggling three trays on each arm. Seth gives him a tiny smile, the man’s clearly too occupied for any light talks. But Curtis pauses briefly to nod his head to the bar area where Elias is apparently tending.

Seth maneuvers through the sea of busy bodies, reaching the bar area right on time. Elias doesn’t spot him at first, it looks like he was busy at the back, and he’s wiping his hands on his apron. But when their eyes finally collide, the hipster’s gaze goes from surprise to a myriad of emotions that make Seth feel guilty before they settle on indifference.

“Hey,” Seth squares his shoulders, faking confidence. His fingertips tap against the countertop, while he smiles brightly at the man who doesn’t seem pleased to see him. Elias is yet to greet back, he keeps on staring, and Seth can feel the fake confidence slowly dwindling. “I thought I’d find you here.”

He receives a snort, “I work here.”

Seth ignores the snappy manner in which the words were said. “Can we talk…?” he clears his throat.

Silence.

It makes Seth feel uncomfortable, the offish manner in which he’s being treated. So maybe Elias is angrier than Seth originally assumed he would be. And as much as the brunet would love to snap at the hipster for behaving so childishly, he has no right to. A part of him thinks maybe Elias is justified in his anger, with the way he left with Roman three days ago. “Please Elias, I won’t be long,” he tries again.

A heavy exhale this time. “Would you like anything to drink?”

“Um, s-sure,” the question’s caught him off guard. “Non—”

“Alcoholic, I know.” Elias finishes for him, placing a glass of juice in front of him. “Congratulations!” it’s said with no excitement whatsoever.

Seth’s eyes widen, Elias _knows._ His mouth opens and closes silently. He’s so unsure about what to say. Maybe a ‘thank you’ would be the best place to start, but Elias’ caught him off guard—again. “I—uh, thank you.”

“I must admit I feel a bit dumb. The baggy clothes you’re always wearing make perfect sense now. But I don’t know why the possibility didn’t cross my mind. I remember one article I read on you once—you’re a carrier.”

“I am,” Seth nods his head, his fingers resting around his OJ. He looks away, gaze fixed on a couple of youngsters sat at a booth near one of the large windows. They’re too loud, too much happiness oozing from their table. The picture tugs at his heartstrings, he misses some laughter in his life. He doesn’t remember when he last genuinely laughed. And he realizes how much he misses his friends. It’s been too long, but he’s not sure if he wants them to visit at the moment. Not with how chaotic his life is. “Can we please talk Elias? I just want to clear the air.”

Elias looks ready to decline, he still looks upset, and the little bit of conversation they were just having was maybe out of politeness. Seth sighs, deciding to beg with his eyes. Too many people have told him that his eyes could make the devil himself weak. He thinks it’s true, too many times in high school, they’d get him out of trouble. And they seem to be working on Elias too. Seth can slowly see the man’s defenses crumbling. Another heavy sigh from Elias and Seth does a little dance on the inside—victory.

“Do you want another drink?”

“Yes, please.”

Elias nods his head, he grabs a whole two litter bottle this time. Seth jumps down from his seat, following Elias to one of the empty booths. It’s at a cozy corner, away from any prying eyes. Not that the patrons here are priers, he’s said it before, The Grill Lounge is super chill. Everyone minds their own business. Seth figures it’s the reason he’d felt a burst of fresh air immediately he entered this place.

“So, how’ve you been? Are you back with the boyfriend?” Elias jumps right into it.

Seth rolls his eyes, tempted to snub Elias. A part of him knows that the judgement will begin as soon as he answers to the hipster’s questions. But he wants to make things right. Apologize for the way he left…and for Roman’s behavior. But Elias’ first question is so complex. With too many responses that he could give the hipster. It’s also a very complicated one, that he isn’t really sure how to answer. All he knows is that he’s been feeling a lot lately, but there’s never enough time to place the emotions.

“I’ve been good, thanks for asking,” and the question about his place of residence, Seth hesitates a bit before answering, “I…got a house not too far away from Roman’s. That’s where I’m staying.”

“On your own?”

“Mhm,” Seth nods his head. The royal was serious about buying him a house. Seth moved in yesterday, before then, he’d been staying all alone some five star hotel. He despised every minute of it, it was so lonely. But it’s not any better at the house he’s living in. The house is huge, features four guestrooms, a luxurious main bedroom that’s still so foreign to Seth and so many rooms than he can count. It has a spa too, like at the mansion. Seth has a fleeting suspicion the luxurious house was bought out of guilt somehow—he has no idea how to feel about that. “Just until Roman works through a few things.”

Elias raises his eyebrows, says nothing.

Seth bites his lip, looks at him for a second, and decides it’s best he cut to the chase. Why he came here. “Look Elias, I want to say I’m sorry. For everything that took place a few days ago. And for Roman’s behavior. I’m sorry you had to see all that, I hope your neighbors weren’t inconvenienced…too much.”

Elias waves him off, “Don’t worry ’bout my neighbors. And you owe me no apologies, I don’t why I was behaving sourly towards you. I’m the one who’s sorry. You don’t need any additional stress, man. Not with the shit your boyfriend puts you through…”

Seth disregards the apology, remains silent as he processes Elias’ words. They ignite a small angry flame within him to be honest and he finds himself thinking that maybe coming here had been a mistake. Because the only thing Elias ever seems to want to do when they’re together is trash talk Roman. And Seth isn’t in the mood. Not today.

“He’s a good man,” it’s his mind talking.

Elias observes him for a minute too long, “Didn’t say he isn’t,” he shrugs.

“I-I know, it’s just when we’re together all you ever seem to do is…judge him. And you don’t even know him. I live—I mean, lived with him, I know how he is. He has a big heart, he’s so caring...and I don’t know why we’re discussing my boyfriend,” Seth shakes his head. It’s pointless trying to make Elias see reason, his mind’s made up about Roman. The judgement in his eyes tells Seth so.

“I read the papers, Seth. I know your man’s a great humanitarian. I see how involved he is in charities. It’s all awesome, he’s changing lives—I get that. But it still doesn’t change the fact that 99% of the time he’s a jackass. At least, the few times that I’ve encountered him. He thinks he owns you. And I don’t know man, he’s like—obsessed with you. I don’t know why you put up with him. You deserve better, I could treat you so much better.”

Elias clearly isn’t holding anything back today. But the judgement seemed to dissipate with each word he’d uttered, leaving only…sympathy. Seth hates that look on his face, he’s not some sorry case. No one needs to feel pity for him, no one. He’s with Roman because he’s in love with the royal. No one else but him. And Roman is a _good man_ …just a little troubled.

_And you’re paying for it._

The thought slams into him suddenly, out of nowhere. Seth chases it away, biting his lip, “It’s…not the same…” he shakes his head. “I’m sorry Elias but you’re not him. I love him, and sure I don’t understand his behavior sometimes, but it doesn’t change the fact that he’s a good man.”

“I still think you can do better. So much better.”

Seth shrugs, forcing a grin to his lips. “But I still wouldn’t want anyone else. I—don’t know...I guess I’m just too in love with him,” he means it. And for some reason, it hurts to admit the words. He loathes the way his voice had betrayed him, coming out shaky and cracking.

The sympathetic look deepens, making Seth highly uncomfortable. He wants to hightail it out of this restaurant now. He feels congested, it has nothing to do with how packed the restaurant is. Elias is making him feel too much, and Seth hates it. The judgement he could handle, not this. The pity and the sadness.

“Lesson no.1—do not attach yourself to someone with so strong a bond that the simple act of their leaving tears away a part of yourself. Or you leaving in this case.”

Seth laughs. He doesn’t know why, but he does. It has no mirth in it, his laugh. It’s bitter and it’s sad and it’s frustrated. “A little too late for the warning, don’t you think?” he asks, recovering with tiny hiccups.

Elias merely shakes his head, “I warned you about this guy, Seth. I know his type, and now you’ve gone and allowed him to make you pregnant…”

Seth turns away, wanting with everything in him to refute Elias. To defend Roman, like he always does. To plead the royal’s case—mention every good memory they’ve ever shared. He wants to tell Elias that he’d never come close to loving him as hard as Roman does. But he can’t. Because despite the good times, Roman still hurts him sometimes. Seth feels like he fell in love with a windstorm. And there are times where it’s too much for him to handle. But still he stays, bearing the hurricane, and gathering the rubble to rebuild everything again. Because he loves Roman—definitely a little more than he should. But he’s hoping things will change. Now that Roman’s agreed to seeing a therapist maybe the storms won’t be so bad.

“I don’t want to talk about my relationship, Elias. Whatever Roman and I are going through, we’ll fix together. I just came to apologize to you. And to catch up, about anything other than my relationship.”

Elias sighs, lifting his hands in surrender. “No sweat, pretty boy. But I’ll repeat what I’ve told you before—I’m right here. As a friend, I’m here for you.”

“…thanks.”

“Cool,” Elias signals for Curtis to get him another beer. And then his entire gaze focuses on Seth. “You know you still haven’t given me a tour of where you’re working. You’re always going on and on about how it’s Disney Jr.”

Finally, lighthearted conversation.

Seth shakes his head, beaming a bit. “I’m free all day today, I can take you.”

“Oh man, really?”

“Yeah,” Seth nods, tickled by Elias’ excitement.

“I’ll talk to Curtis first. Do you mind waiting an hour or so? Just till the rush dissipates a bit.”

Seth shakes his head no. “Do your thing, I’m not going anywhere.”

“Aiight, pretty boy,” Elias’ smile is sun bright. He lifts off his seat, grabbing their empty bottles. “I’ll be back before you know it.”

“Okay,” Seth stares until Elias disappears. He takes his phone out, texting John that he’ll grab a lift from the eatery with a friend. Yes, the bodyguards are back. Seth doesn’t mind them much. At least they mind their own business…most of the time. He’s sure John will inform Roman about his leaving with someone else though. Seth can’t say he cares much, he’ll deal with the issue should it arise.

So many thoughts churn in his mind while he waits for the hour to pass by. Roman’s mother is coming to America this Sunday. Seth’s still nervous about her arrival to be honest. But on Tuesday, she called him, just after he woke up. She’s still a mother to him, overbearing and highly worried about his wellbeing. They hadn’t spoken about what’s going on between himself and Roman. She wanted to know about how he is doing more than anything else.

He’d opened up a bit to her, unfortunately though, she had to end their conversation before they could delve deeper into finding his feelings. Seth’s still grateful for that conversation though. Lighter. He’d felt lighter after he’d talked to her. And she’s going to be staying in America for a while, she gave no specific time frame but Seth hadn’t cared much. Honestly, the minute she’d said she’ll be in America for a while, the joy had deafened him. He thinks maybe with her here, she can help him deal with the emotional rollercoaster that comes with loving Roman...

* * *

 

Seth remembers the day he stumbled into Nia’s hospital, shaken and worried about his wellbeing. He remembers taking a few tests, and anxiously awaiting the results from Dr. Baldwin. And how he learned that he’s pregnant. Back then, after the whole situation had sunk in, his only thoughts—his worry—was the babies’ wellbeing. And they still are, everyday he wakes up and the babies take first priority. Especially with everything that could go wrong with this pregnancy—it is high risk after all.

But he really thinks he should’ve researched more on how frustrating being pregnant can be. Seriously, this pregnancy is humbling him—in every way possible. If it’s not the nausea (yes, it hasn’t completely left him) then he’s frowning at the aromas around him. So many things smell weird to him—and very intensely. There’s the mood swings that creep in randomly—it’s embarrassing how he goes from highly irritated to excessively sad and then mildly happy all in one day. And then there’s the loneliness—he hates it more than he can explain.

Also, this morning, he woke up with the worst back pain ever. And his hips felt like they had a butcher knife in them. But there’s also the…horniness. It feels like his libido shot straight through the roof suddenly. Yes, his sexual appetite is more than healthy. It’s great—and he remembers, how they’d go at it for hours with Roman. But this morning, it felt like he’d taken multiple doses of Viagra or something. His need for sex had been bordering on abnormal.

He read on that earlier today when he came into work though. An increased sex drive is normal during pregnancy apparently. The site he went on explained the cause—the only thing Seth got was pregnancy hormones before he fell asleep awkwardly at his desk. That was about two hours ago, but he’s fully awake now. Seth is finding that he can’t ever sleep for more than two hours without waking up to rush to the loo—or to feed himself fat. But it’s the latter now, he’s super hungry—and he’s exhausted.

A glance at the clock tells him it’s a little over 01:30 p.m. He wonders if can get away with going home early today—like yesterday. It’s a Friday after all and they are never too busy on Fridays. But he’ll talk to some of the workers first, see if they need any assistance. That way Tamina won’t hand his ass to him should she find out he left early. But that’s highly unlikely—Roman’s family seem to revere him somehow. It’s all funny to him, because they aren’t like that with Roman, but when it comes to him—they behave like they’re in the presence of greatness. The only people who’re normal to him are the twins, Mama and Naomi. He wouldn’t be able to tell you about Roman’s dad—he never speaks much. But the respect is there with him too.

Grabbing his duffel bag, Seth makes an exit to one of the canteens inside the building. When the caregivers confirm they won’t be needing any assistance, he goes to find Leonie, just to make sure that there isn’t anything of importance that will need his attention. He finds her in one of the dance studios with Michael. “Knock, knock...” The music stops, two flushed faces looking at him. A tiny smile graces his lips, “Hey, I was thinking about going home. If you won’t need help with anything?”

The small woman nods absently, “Oh yeah, yeah. I don’t think we have too much going on today anyway,” Leonie responds out of breath.

“Alright,” Seth smiles. “So Monday?”

“Monday,” Leonie confirms.

“And don’t forget you owe me a game of FIFA, Mr. Seth!” Mikey shouts before he can close the door. He raises a dark eyebrow expectantly.

Tickled by the expression, Seth merely nods his head. This teenager can be so bossy sometimes. “I can’t tomorrow—” he’s meeting up with Naomi tomorrow for the first time since his graduation. She’d pestered until he hadn’t a choice but to give in. Plus Mama is coming this Sunday, and he’s already anxious. He still needs to prepare himself for her arrival. Relax his mind and things like that. “Monday, I promise.”

“Aiight…greet our boyfriend for me. Tell him I haven’t seen him in so long. He needs to come around here sometime—I need to pamper my eyes.”

Seth bites his bottom lip, nodding his head softly. “I’ll tell him.” Michael’s crush on Roman amuses him to no end.

He finds John at the parking lot, waiting for him—ever the efficient one. Braun is in the Bentley, sunglasses hiding his eyes. Seth swears the giant looks like he’s snoozing. He wouldn’t be surprised with the stress the man’s been under lately, with a sick niece. It’s TB apparently, but at least the teenager is getting treatment so she’ll be just fine.

“John,” he greets as the dimpled man opens his door for him. Seth rolls his eyes, he’s given up on the ‘door opening’ thing. He can never win anyway.

“Seth,” John starts the car. “How was—you…have pimples?” for someone who’s usually so vigilant, John seems surprised by the fact, as if he’s only just noticed this.

“But they still look better than your face.”

John blinks once, twice—breaks into laughter.

“Shit, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to say that.” Seth sighs, leaning against his seat. It’s more than comfortable at least. Makes him feel less grumpy. “I guess I’m hungrier than I thought.” He rubs his belly bump, his stomach is growling in agreement.

“We can pass a drive-thru before we take you home,” John says, while Braun stirs.

The giant man removes his sunglasses, disoriented. But his lips stretch wide when he meets Seth on the rearview mirror, “Shorty…”

Seth chuckles, shaking his head. He hates the nickname Braun’s chosen for him because he isn’t short. But then again, he probably looks like a chihuahua compared to Braun. “I’m not short at all Braun, you’re just freakishly tall—and big. You’re a tree.”

Laughter rings out in the car. For far too long, so infectious that Seth joins in on it. He loves having these two as bodyguards, even if a part of him is still resentful that he can never drive himself anywhere.

“Have you decided if you’re going to grab something on the way home?”

“Popeye’s,” Seth says the first thing that comes to mind. He’s craving their spicy hot wings, and he’s not in the mood to cook dinner. Yes, he doesn’t have a cook anymore. It had been his decision, Roman suggested he utilize Masina, working out a whole plan on how the middle-aged woman would come just before he got off work but Seth declined the offer.

He’s been wanting to do things himself a lot lately. Living with Elias had made him realize how much he missed that. Cooking his own food. Cleaning after himself. Shopping for his own food and utilities. The simple things. John and Braun are always with him though, to ensure he’s safe. But it’s still refreshing, being able to do a few of his own things.

They get the food at Popeye’s and then Seth is craving ice-cream. He doesn’t even have it in him to feel guilty when he orders John to do a u-turn to a grocery they passed on the way to Popeye’s. Almost every flavor of Ben and Jerry’s ice-cream is a favorite of his at the moment. So when he enters the grocery store, Braun accompanies him inside to grab a variety of flavors. Six tubs in total, ranging from Chocolate Fudge Brownie to Strawberry Cheesecake. He ignores the way people eye him—and the pests that find it hard to respect his privacy. Braun takes care of them just fine though.

A message comes through on the drive back home. It’s Roman.

_Seth._

That’s all it says—no greeting.  

 _Roman._ He returns the favor.

_Roman: Is everything okay? You left work early._

Seth heaves out an extended exhale. John’s blues find him on the rearview mirror and Seth glares. He knows it’s him who told Roman. The bastard raises an eyebrow, gaze going back to the road.

_Seth: Fine. Just tired._

_Roman: I see. Maybe you need to rest more?_

The response had been immediate.

_Seth: Maybe. It’s why I’m going home._

_Roman: What about food? I will tell Masina to come over._

Seth laughs this time, although he’s also tearing up. He has no idea how Roman does it—perfect one minute, and then so…flawed the next. It’s all a mystery to him, one that frustrates him to no end.

_Seth: I got takeout, so much of it. I’ll be an oversized penguin by the time I’m done eating. Your blue-eyed puppy’s losing his touch. He told you I left work, but not about the drive-thru?_

_Roman: A very beautiful oversized penguin._

That’s it. No other response to everything’s he’s just said. It’s just like Roman to be honest. And Seth hates the way his cheeks flush, body heating up in sunny warmth. But he’s said it before, Roman always knows what to say, always. Maybe it’s the reason he’s so weak for him. Another message comes through.

_Roman: I love you._

His heart reacts immediately, beating so hard, so fast. And then there’s his stomach, where the butterflies swim traitorously. Seth can’t help it, the entirety of him betrays him every time. When it comes to Roman, he’s always betraying himself.

_Seth: I love you too._

He bites his bottom lip, returning his phone into his jeans pocket. He wouldn’t be able to tell you where his and Roman’s relationship is at the moment. Maybe separated but still together? It’s just, everything feels…strange, somehow. Like they’ve just swept things under the carpet and moved on. Or attempted to. Because on days where Roman has come to see him since they’ve separated, things are still weird between them. They have things to say, to confront, but who is going to do the confronting?

Seth isn’t sure. But there are so many things he wants to say to Roman. Things he wants to reveal, like his heartbreak, and how he hates the way Roman behaves sometimes. He wants Roman to apologize for _that_ night, because Roman _hurt_ him. And he wants everything to spill out—but he won’t say anything. Because right now, Roman getting the help he needs takes priority.

Speaking of Roman getting help, the royal has his first session on Wednesday. Seth hopes it will go okay. He knows how depressing therapy can be. And he knows the negative emotions people sometimes leave with after their therapy sessions. He’s honestly worried for Roman, because the man was stubbornly against the idea before. What if he goes in with the wrong mindset?

 _No,_ Seth shakes his head. He can’t afford to think like that. He has to trust that Roman _knows_ what’s at stake. And why it’s important for him to do this. For himself, for their babies, for their future. _He has to know._

When the car pulls up at his driveway, Seth grabs his bags, bidding his bodyguards goodbye. It’s 03:00 p.m. a little later than he arrived yesterday. But the stops to the shops are to blame for that. Seth bypasses the kitchen, heading straight to his room. Immediately he enters, his duffel bag is dropped to the ground, the plastic bag with his food dumped on the bed. If Roman were here, he’d frown. He’s too much of a neat freak, doesn’t think food should be placed on the bed. And rarely makes exceptions, only on days where Seth would manipulate him using his pregnancy.

After removing all of his clothing, Seth hightails it into the bathroom. He’s overheated, nothing new, he thinks it’s getting worse with each week he’s pregnant. The cold shower helps him feel cooler, and quite good about himself. He isn’t going to lie, with each week that passes by, he finds himself thinking he’s growing uglier. There’s weird things going on with his skin, like the pimples John mentioned. He hates it, can’t look at himself on the mirror without wanting to cry—it’s ridiculous.

Settled on the bed, still naked, Seth opens his plastic bag enthusiastically. The TV’s turned on, he’s watching a documentary on serial killers—he loves them so much. But he doesn’t know if it’s weird for the babies, that their mother is obsessed with heartless, deranged killers. He won’t think about it too much, the sounds of the outside world are still muffled to them anyway.

His phone distracts him halfway into his documentary on The Zodiac Killer. It’s different messages from different people—Roman, Xavier, there’s one from Katherine. She recently told him she got a secretary position in Tampa, he’s not sure how she pulled that one off. He’s not judging, but the woman isn’t very bright, some of her decisions testify to that. Besides, wasn’t she always better at using her wrinkly taco?

The thought repulses him, and a twinge of shame pokes at him. That was a very, very bad thought. He shouldn’t have even thought that. Especially not now when he’s been trying to warm up to her. They’ve been texting peacefully for a few months now—he doesn’t want to undo all that. But her less than subtle hints at meeting up sometime now that they will be closer are immediately shut down by him.

Maybe after the babies are born…the babies that she still doesn’t know about. He finds himself feeling very protective over his little humans whenever he thinks about telling her. Because of his childhood, and how she was with him. He’s scared to tell her. It’s ridiculous because she wouldn’t ever be able to get to them. There are high chances that they won’t even be raised in America but he’s just very protective.

Seth juggles watching the documentary, eating, and replying to the messages on his phone. It’s Dean who he’s talking to the most. It’s all just a bunch of gossip. About a woman he’s colleagues with. She was supposed to visit her boyfriend’s family apparently, and decided to use a couple of expensive dollars to buy them presents. To get them to like her, according to Dean. But two weeks before their planned trip, she found out the guy has another girl on the side. Or rather she’s the girl the guy’s been doing on the side. They’ve been together for five years.

Maybe he should feel guilty, but Seth can’t contain his loud guffaws at Dean’s message. The story’s even funnier when Dean sends him a voice note and a video showing the woman burning every piece of clothing she’s ever bought the boyfriend. She sent the video to the boyfriend too apparently. The man never went back to their shared apartment—that she’s paying rent for. Seth can’t say he blames him, he would’ve stayed away too. But he doesn’t get why people even start things like this. Nothing stays hidden forever after all.

At nine, he decides to call it a night. It’s a surprise he lasted this long without falling asleep to be honest. Returning the empty takeaways into the Popeye’s bag and placing it on the bedside table, Seth turns the lamp off. He adjusts himself, sleeping on what would be considered Roman’s side of the bed were he at home. Roman’s hoodie is placed on the fluffy pillow, his scent's long faded, but it still makes Seth sleep better. Roman’s the last person he messages with a simple, ‘heading to bed, i love you.’ He doesn’t wait for a response, eyes too droopy.

***

Seth is awakened by the sound of his phone chirping with a message. It’s easy to find it with how it lights up the dark room. The first thing he notices is that it’s way too early. 02:17 a.m. to be precise. And then he notices that the message is from Roman. He sits up, leaning against the headboard.

_I’m outside your house._

That’s all the message says. It causes Seth’s eyebrows to furrow. Since living alone, Roman hasn’t ever come to him in the middle of the night. And he doesn’t know why the royal’s doing it now. But he has a few assumptions. The bad dreams come to mind first. Seth hopes not, but he’s not stupid to think that they’ve vanished just because Roman’s agreed to therapy.

Seth leaves the bed, he won’t know for sure until he opens for the royal. He goes to the walk-in closet, grabbing his silky black robe. In the kitchen, he punches the code to the front gate, watching Roman’s Lexus enter the driveway. He goes to the front door just as the doorbell rings, and opens the door, right hand on the door handle. “Hey,” he greets.

Seth gives the royal a once over. Roman’s half-naked, in nothing but a pair of dark blue jeans, no footwear. Dull (usually shiny) black hair is pulled back into a messy bun, a few strands entangled to his left ear. Roman’s eyes are red, hazy—but he doesn’t smell like alcohol thankfully. He just looks like someone who isn’t sleeping well, with those dark bags under his eyes.

“Seth…”

They look at each other, for a long time, with Seth’s heart beating fast inside his chest. Roman’s a mannequin, like he usually is. “Come in…” the door opens wider. He closes the door after Roman’s entered, following him wordlessly into the kitchen. The silence ensues, staring contest picking up again. Roman’s looking around the house, as if he weren’t the one who viewed it with the realtor before buying it. His brows furrow, Seth has no idea what the expression means. He clears his throat. “Do you want something to eat?” it’s the first thing Seth can think of to say. He gestures for Roman to take a seat on one of the chairs at the white oak table.

“Sure,” Roman’s eyes are too focused on his body. The gaze, dark but blank, has Seth’s body flushing. He tries to pull his robe down to hide his thighs, it’s futile, the thing was meant to be short after all. He turns away from the attention, getting to work. He’s hungry too, and Avocado toast sounds scrumptious at the moment. And cheese with grapes. Grapes seem to be a huge favorite of his lately.

“Coffee or juice? I have Grape juice though, mangoes and I are divorced for now.” There’s whisky in the house too, but Seth won’t offer any. After the whole ‘I don’t want you staying here saga,’ he thinks maybe Roman should stay away from alcohol for a while. The royal drinks it way too much anyway.

Roman clears his throat, “Juice is fine,” his eyes are unfocused.

“Alright,” Seth goes back to work. He grabs his Hershey’s chocolate syrup inside the fridge, placing it on the table and ignoring Roman’s confused expression. “Come rinse your hands.” He grabs their plates, taking them to the table while Roman washes his hands. Roman comes back to the table with their drinks. “What?” he asks the royal, unperturbed, as he spreads chocolate syrup all over his Avocado toast. “You have no idea how delicious this is.”

Roman snorts, clearly not sold. “If you say so.”

“I do,” Seth sticks his tongue out at Roman.

Roman raises an eyebrow, says nothing.

They eat in silence, tension curling around them. Seth looks away a few times when he connects with Roman’s gaze—it’s unwavering. Seth doesn’t think the royal even remembers how to blink. It’s a bit uncomfortable—what is he searching for?

“So…” Seth starts, gaze rooted to his toast.

“So…” is echoed.  

“What’s wrong, Roman?”

“Nothing’s wrong.”

Seth looks at him, the royal looking right back, blank gaze still unwavering. If it weren’t for his tense posture, Seth would’ve been left helpless as to what Roman’s feeling. “Was it a bad dream?” he starts carefully, tone calm but heart beating far too loudly.

And finally Roman blinks, dark brows pulled together. “I…” he clears his throat, pushing his empty plate away from him.

“Tell me, please.”

“I-I, uh…yes,” the expression’s confused.  

“What was it about?”

Silence.

Seth wants to shout now. Because Roman can’t do this. He refuses to believe that he was woken up at two in the morning for this. “Was it about—Tyler?” he asks.

A dark, stormy gaze this time. “No.”

Seth has to take a second, blink in disbelief. He hadn’t been expecting a response to be honest. But he’s glad, so he asks another question. “Then what, Roman?”

The stormy gaze turns watery, silence reigns for what feels like forever this time. Seth’s ready to give up when Roman says quietly, “A…b-baby, it was—crying? In the—woods. I, uh, couldn’t—” Roman shakes his head. He can’t seem to continue.

“Whose baby? Y-Yours…?” Seth’s mind rushes to his mouth.

Roman’s eyes immediately snap to him when he asks. His surprise is so visible. And his mouth opens only to close silently. Seth stares dejectedly when Roman hides from him. It begins with Roman closing his eyes, breathing in deeply before they open again—clearer and too blank for him to read. “Why is it so hard for you to open up to me?” he asks before he can stop himself.

Nothing.

“I…don’t like how you do this, Roman. You invade my privacy, know things about me that you shouldn’t but you can’t do the same for me. I hardly know much about you. It’s so unfair on me, don’t you think?”

Roman bows his head, fails to reply.

Swallowing the lumps in his throat, Seth nods his head. He stands up abruptly, shakily grabbing their dishes to take to the sink.

The sound of running water rings in the kitchen while Seth waits for the sink to fill up. He can feel Roman’s eyes on him, doesn’t look back. He hates this—the lack of communication, the hiding, the secrets. It hurts even more because Roman knows _everything_ about him. Even when Katherine returned to his life and he’d felt worthless because of his past, he’d still told Roman because he trusted the royal to support him. He trusted their love. And that they were a couple—which essentially means that even when they can’t talk to other people, they should be able to talk to _each other._ It’s what couples do.

And he can’t help but feel a bit jealous that Manuia’s able to get through to Roman. That the royal opens up easier to the big man. But he gets…nothing. It’s a sign that Roman doesn’t trust him. It hurts because he thinks Roman should trust him by now, after…everything. After every sacrifice he’s made. But Roman’s still allowing his secrets, his past, to control their relationship.

Closing the tap, Seth shakily washes the dishes. He’s emotional when he doesn’t want to be. And he can feel the fucking waterworks fighting to push out—it’s bad timing. He doesn’t want to cry now, it’s too late for that. But this bloody pregnancy, it’s making him feel everything so intensely. And then he’s feeling bad for calling his pregnancy ‘bloody’ because it isn’t that. It’s the furthest thing from that. It’s a blessing. A sneaky tear slips past, and he discreetly tries to wipe it away.

“Are you crying?” the tone’s bewildered.

Seth doesn’t respond, maybe then Roman will know what it feels like being ignored. And he _isn’t_ crying—it’s just, he has something in his eyes.

The sound of a chair creaking against the floor reaches his ears. He knows Roman’s getting up, but Seth doesn’t look back. His focus on the plate that he’s unknowingly been scrubbing for five minutes. It could be because of how blurry his vision is. “I’m sorry—alofagia.” Roman’s heavy exhale right into his left ear causes him to shudder.

“Don’t fucking touch me!” Seth grits out, face wet.  

But Roman’s so damn stubborn. His big hands settle on Seth’s waist, his presence overwhelming. Seth reacts immediately. His heart stops and lurches before racing frenzily. His body is no better as it heats up when the big hands slowly trail up his waist, pulling the fabric of his robe up, travelling to grip his hands inside the water—preventing him from scrubbing the spotless plate any further.

“I’m so sorry, Seth…” Roman repeats, kissing the shell of his ear. The hot breath tickles Seth, sending delicious shivers down his spine. It takes all the self-control he can muster up to prevent a moan from sneaking out. He can feel it in Roman’s touch, the royal is expecting sex from him. His fat dick doesn’t try to hide it’s intentions, with the way it’s poking his backside. It really wants into his ass. But Seth will be damned if he allows that to happen.

“You’re not getting sex from me!” he snaps, serious as ever. He’s not going to give the royal anything. Not until the man learns to communicate, to trust him. But his body is reacting, frustrating him as it turns into an oasis for the man who knows how to manipulate it.

Roman simply releases a low hum—it’s challenging.

Seth’s lips part, a hungry pant tearing out of him when Roman presses firmly into him. He can feel Roman’s erection nestling between the crease of his butt. A moan sneaks past his lips before he can stop it. Seth clutches the edge of the sink in a white-knuckled grip. This isn’t what he wants. This isn’t what he wants. But his body says otherwise, trembling with raw hunger, despite his chaotic emotions and the ache in his heart.

“No,” he manages to choke out. He’s not sure if he’s issuing his own challenge or if it’s stemming from his deep disappointment as he completely betrays himself again, arching his back and silently begging for more. Maybe it’s the latter. Because never has he craved Roman more, like an addict craving it’s favorite drug.

Seth closes his eyes, losing himself to sensations as Roman’s lips touch his neck. They travel, deceptively seductive as they touch his shoulders, down his spine, lower and lower until they reach the curve of his backside. Seth grips the edge of the sink tighter, breath picking up. The robe is lifted to one side of his waist by a firm hand. “Already so wet…” Roman gruffly whispers, his hand slipping in between Seth’s thighs.

The brunet nods, it’s futile denying it when the evidence is right there. _He’s dripping._ And he’s trying not to berate himself for being so weak. Because this shouldn’t be happening, really. But Roman’s kissing an ass cheek, fondling the other possessively with his other hand. “Yes,” the word is stolen from a breath.

Rapture blazes through him when he feels Roman’s warm, wet tongue probing his entrance. Even the sounds leaving his lips betray him, revealing everything’s he’s feeling. Seth’s body shudders, ecstasy filling his veins. Roman’s tongue on his hole feels out of this world. He can’t help the way his hand goes to one butt cheek—spreading it to give Roman better access.

Roman is thorough, like he always is when tending to his hole. He nips, bites and sucks fervently on Seth’s intimate flesh. The royal is always so sure in the way he eats him out, it drives Seth _insane._ He’s moaning and panting, with tears of pleasure rolling down his cheeks. And then Roman reaches in between his legs, to stroke his neglected dick. Seth cries out blissfully. Stars begin to explode right in his vision, the sensations are out of this world. He moans loudly, gyrating his hips in a shameless dance as he feels his climax rush from his toes.

When Roman suddenly pulls away, feelings of frustration and dejection claw at Seth. Just as he’d been on the verge of a climax. “Roman!” he’s helpless against snapping out the royal’s name frustratedly, never mind that a few minutes ago, he was firmly against this. And he still is, but he’s listening to his body at the moment. It’s screaming, ‘yes, yes, yes!’ over and over again. “If you think this is funny then it isn’t!” he’s trembling as he faces the royal.  

Roman’s dark pools are blank, making his heart whine, but they still have him transfixed, almost afraid. Before he can help himself, Seth is already tugging at the knot on his robe. This isn’t what should be happening but he has no idea how to stop himself. The robe parts open as soon as the knot’s undone. Roman’s eyes roam what part of Seth’s body he can see, it’s flushed red. The longer that Roman spends looking at his body, the more insecure Seth feels. He remembers the last time that Roman saw him naked but he’s gotten a bit bigger, with his belly so round.

“You’re so beautiful,” Roman tells him as if reading his thoughts. Like usual, everything reacts—there is no antidote for that. Seth merely nods his head. Roman inches closer to him, causing Seth to shudder. Thick, long fingers rake through his hair, tightening. Seth cries out, pleasure shooting down his spine—the intention is so clear in Roman’s controlled touches. The tension increases with each second the blank gaze is focused on him, and then Roman finally acts—plundering his mouth.

Seth’s moans transition into desperate whimpers that he can’t suppress. “Roman, please…” he can’t even bring himself to care that he’s begging. He needs Roman, badly—he’s going crazy with need. _It’s been so long._ Roman captures his lips again, taking them prisoner. Seth accepts it, his robe falling in a pool of black at his feet. Their lips haven’t detached when Roman picks him up, Seth’s legs fold around his waist. His dick nestles against Roman’s hard stomach, creating sweet friction—and leaking heavily. They’re moving, it feels like a long journey before they finally reach Seth’s bedroom. Roman lays him gently on the bed, moving away to remove his jeans. Seth ogles, legs spread, as Roman removes all piece of clothing—even the way he’s doing it has Seth trembling with need.

He gasps, finding himself on all fours. The chaos is still there inside him, persistent. It’s only steadied by the warm touch of Roman’s hand at the small of his back. The drawer opens, Seth isn’t sure what Roman grabs, he has no lube. But his senses are reeling, his mind racing. He bites his lip, feeling a slick finger against his trembling entrance.

 _It hurts._ He hasn’t been penetrated in so long. And he’s trying to distract himself by stroking his wet dick. Another finger enters his body, pressing against his prostate. And then another one, and another one—coaxing deeper and deeper until Seth is left unguardedly helpless.

He doesn’t dare open his eyes. Roman’s cock, thick and hot, is nudging his entrance. A fissure of fear crawls into his whining heart—he remembers the last time. What if it hurts just as bad? Roman had a bad dream. What if, what if this is like _that_ night? Or the other nights? Where his body only serves as a dumpster site?

The questions are only silenced when Roman covers his body, kissing down his spine. “All you have to do is say the word and I’ll stop,” like earlier, Roman’s reading his mind.

Seth can’t issue a verbal response, he nods his head frantically.

Roman’s dick rubs against his hole, teasingly—getting reacquainted. And Seth can’t help it, he wriggles his ass— wordlessly begging. _Please._ The slightest hint of breaching and Seth’s eyes snap open. Pain, so much of it. _Hurts._ The sound of something tearing is heard, as the tears roll down Seth’s cheeks, a pained cry sneaking past.

“So fucking tight,” Roman’s wheezing his words. His hand rubs Seth’s waist. “Seth…are you okay?”

“Obviously not!” Seth manages to choke out, and then he’s shaking his head furiously. “I-I’m sorry, Row-man.”

“Should I stop?”

“No,” Seth takes a deep breath, attempts to breathe through the pain. _Dear_ _god_ , it _hurts._ Seth thinks he can feel the pain everywhere, and he knows Roman hasn’t even entered him fully. He thinks only the head got in. A part of him is scared, they haven’t done this in a while—and he’s breaking out in cold sweat at the thought of taking any more dick from this man.

“Easy, Seth…breathe,” Roman’s still rubbing his back gently. Seth tries to follow the instruction, fights against his natural instinct to tighten himself around Roman. The pain isn’t going anywhere, not fully. Not with how big Roman is, it always hurts. But as soon as it feels like he isn’t being split in half, he wriggles his ass, wordlessly asking Roman to continue.

Grasping the sheets, Seth fights to keep sane as Roman pushes inside him. The pain returns, more vicious than ever but he bears it. _He needs this._ Craves the royal’s touch. Each stroke drives him insane, he’s burning from the inside out, caught in a rush of desire. He clamps down on his bottom lip, high on intense pleasure. “Yes, just like that Daddy,” it’s breathless, drool leaking onto the sheets.

Roman chuckles, says nothing. He grips Seth’s hips, stroking deeper, stretching the brunet farther than he had before. “Oh my god!” Seth clenches his eyes tight when his vision gets blurry. He pants and whimpers as his stomach and ass tighten. He can barely breathe, his legs get weak while his orgasm rips through him. Roman fucks him right through his orgasm, changing his angle. Seth’s prostate gets a head on rough drilling.

Seth strains, trying to take it. He’s losing his breath and his connection to reality. But he’s rock hard again, while Roman continues pounding into him, his murderous angle guiding Seth’s body deeper and deeper into a seemingly endless pleasure-pain-filled tunnel.

Seth barely stops himself from squealing. He has to bite on the pillow to keep from releasing any embarrassing sounds. His hands digs into the bedsheets in a white-knuckled grip. _What the fuck?_ He rips through the bedsheets again—he doesn’t know what to do with himself. The royal keeps sending him into the realm of mind-numbing ecstasy. Seth’s being fucked senseless. _It’s too much._

Another orgasm hits him, so much more intense than the previous one. Seth buries his face into the bed, keeps his embarrassing wanton, high-pitched moans to himself. He’s convulsing beneath Roman, ropes of cum shooting onto his thigh and the soaked bed.

Roman drags him up by his hair, “I want to hear you, tell me how you feel,” the royal breathes into his ear.

Seth’s first instinct is to part his lips, let through the vulnerable moans and helpless whimpers that Roman can lure out of him. His heart’s protesting though, in fear. It doesn’t want to give the royal this—not tonight. So Seth bites his lips, praying he won’t betray himself again. Roman’s strokes transition, he’s going passionately slow. Right arm masterfully going around Seth’s neck. The royal pushes his dick deep into Seth, every painful inch, plunging hard into Seth’s soul.

Seth’s eyes snap wide open, the tears rolling down his cheeks.

“Aaah!” it’s a helpless high-pitched scream that sneaks past. Foolishly revealing how deep his love runs. It overwhelms him, the connection, his vulnerability when it comes to Roman.

“I like it when you’re honest, Seth.” Roman groans into his ear, his right hand moving to protectively cover Seth’s protruding belly. “You can never hide from me.”

It’s true. Seth feels it now, with his hand entwined with Roman’s on his belly—he can feel how his soul is letting Roman in. He can feel it in Roman’s gentle thrusts, they wrench the most meaningful sounds from him. They are always reserved for Roman. Only him. Seth feels it in how they work in tandem—they’re one. It’s a whole other level. This, what they’re doing right now, it’s so much more than sexual. It always is. _It’s their connection._

God, does Seth love it.

God, does he hate it.

Because this is still Roman. The same man who hurts him so much. And Seth can’t erase the times that the royal’s hurt him. He can’t erase the tears, and the anger, and the heartache. He cannot erase the whirlwind of emotions that come with loving Roman. The pain sneaks in on him, cracking his heart. His mind’s racing, thinking about everything that he’s had to deal with since this relationship began. The royal’s loving him wrong, he’s doing it all wrong.

Seth breaks down.

He tries, but the tears fall fast, wrenching sobs from deep within him. The side of his head is laying on the bed, his tears soaking the already damp sheets. Roman’s the only one, he’s the only one who can get away with hurting him like this. He’s getting away with it now, using his body, while Seth’s still mad at him. The tears fall harder. When will his heart learn not to betray him?

“Seth?” he doesn’t realize it, but Roman’s stopped moving. And the royal’s gentle caress from his spine down to his back draws him back to the present. “Hey, hey am I hurting you?” Roman sounds panicked.

_Yes._

“I-I, Row-man…” so many words beg to be set free but Seth can’t get them out. He full on sobs, burying his face into Roman’s chest. He doesn’t know when the royal pulled out of him. But the royal’s arms surround him, Seth’s head tucked under Roman’s chin.

“I’m sorry, Seth.” Roman’s lips touch his hair.

_Should’ve been your name instead._

“I—didn’t mean to hurt you.”

Does he realize? Roman? That this isn’t about the sex? That it’s about the other things. The things that have been happening from the beginning. The things that happened on the night he left. That it’s so much more deeper than sex? Seth wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t.

“Y-You don’t deserve me,” he tremulously whispers, sobs still wracking his body. He just wants to let it out, every negative emotion. He wants to release everything he’s been feeling. Shakily, the brunet shuffles closer to Roman, seeking comfort from the same person responsible for this. He’s the only one who can take it away, his pain.

Roman stiffens, momentarily pausing his words of comfort. Seth can feel how hard his heart is beating, and how it’s rhythm changes. Transitioning into unsteady, heavy thrums. It’s still so beautiful to him. “I d-don’t,” Roman says, tone a whisper. “I—wouldn’t blame you if you left, Seth.” Roman’s arms tighten around him, harder than ever before. He’s afraid.

Seth says nothing because it’s true. For all the promises Roman’s made to him, the royal’s supposed to be loving him better than this. He issues no words because maybe Roman will finally understand. The feelings he goes through sometimes. He remains silent because despite what he’s feeling now, he knows he isn’t going anywhere. Because that’s the thing with loving more than you should.

He allows himself to be comforted by Roman instead. Revels in the feel of the royal’s arms safely surrounding him, protecting him from the world—and from Roman. His trembling wet lips touch the royal’s chest instead, his nose brushing up against Roman’s skin, breathing in his scent— _it’s home._ Seth shuts his eyes, and listens to Roman’s gentling heartbeat. Allows it to soothe him as he cries himself to sleep.

* * *

 

Seth wakes up feeling lighter than he has in nearly a month. He guesses that’s what crying into the arms of the right person can do to you. Speaking of the right person and whatever…the space beside him is empty. It’s a slap to the face to be honest. Especially after last night, and the yearning hits Seth immediately. He can’t help it, call him foolishly drawn to the royal if you will, but the longing is so sudden that he slumps against the headboard, shakily running his palm on the side of the bed Roman had been sleeping on.

A part of him thinks that maybe Roman could’ve been polite enough to leave a note at least. Or a message. Seth grabs his phone from the bedside table, checking his messages. Nothing from Roman. Just a message from Naomi, giving him the location they’re going to meet at. She sent it at 06:00 a.m. It’s fifty minutes after she sent the message now, and Seth’s too lazy to do any yoga today. Not with the deep disappointment clawing at him.

At 07:00, he pep talks himself enough to finally leave the bed. Limping to the en-suite bathroom, he brushes his teeth, rinsing his face before exiting. It’s hot, like it always is—like he’s always feeling. He’s not going to keep it from you—unashamedly, he struts out of his bedroom, naked as the day he was born. And he’s thinking about what to make for breakfast, maybe something a little more healthier today though. Fruits and plain yogurt but he’s craving something a bit salty.

“Breakfast wrap with scrambled eggs, and plenty of cheese—” he whispers to himself in the hallway. “Oh, and toma—” his throat clogs up as he makes a pass for the living room. The sight in front of him disrupts every thought, leaving him dumbfounded.

_He’s here, Roman’s here._

And then Seth’s heartbeat picks up, faster and faster it beats until he has to clutch his chest. Roman’s sat at the couch, staring at the blank TV screen. His hair’s tied again. He’s not wearing any upper garment, maybe he’s still naked? Seth shakes his head, remembering Roman had been half-naked when he came last night. Seth thinks he should make his presence known but decides against it. ‘Food first’ is one of his favorite mottos lately.

Silently walking to the kitchen, Seth grabs the first thing he finds inside the fridge, wanting to return to Roman as soon as possible. He opens the drawers, taking out two spoons and rinsing them. “Hi,” he greets as soon as he enters the living room, tub of ice-cream in hand.

Roman turns his head, finding him. The royal notices the ice-cream, raises an eyebrow but says nothing.

The gaze is still on him as he shuffles to where Roman’s seating. The expression on his face has gone blank, Seth doesn’t know what he’s thinking. But his aura, his body language—it reminds Seth of last night. When Roman was telling Seth he doesn’t deserve him. He’s tense, and maybe he’s afraid. Seth hadn’t responded to his ‘leaving part’ after all.

Seth stands in front of him, ignoring the cold ice-cream tub touching his belly. Roman’s not completely naked, he’s wearing a pair of black boxers. And his fingers are intertwined, his arms resting on his thighs. He looks up at Seth, questioning.

Seth bites his lip, shaking his head. He’s not going anywhere, like he told Roman that night at Elias’. Placing the Chocolate Fudge Brownie tub on the coffee table, he moves to check the discs lining his drawers. A smile tugs at his lips when he finds what he’s looking for.

Donald Duck.

Seth puts the disc in the DVD player, and goes back to Roman. Decided, he settles on Roman’s lap, looking into his eyes as he wraps his arms around his neck. A long shaky sigh escapes him. His eyes slide shut when hesitantly, he feels Roman’s arms around his waist. Like last night, the hold is tight—almost as if Roman’s afraid to let him go.

Seth clings to him too, pretty much crawling onto the royal’s lap. His head rests on Roman’s shoulder, while he just breathes. Breathes his man in, for longer than should be allowed but he doesn’t care. And Roman doesn’t seem to mind.

“I love you, Roman.” Seth says eventually, moving from hiding to gaze into blank, dark orbs.

“I…” Roman’s brows pull together, storm brewing in the dark gaze. He clears his throat, “Thank you.” he says nothing else.

Seth can hear what he isn’t saying. The response is good enough for him. He adjusts himself on the royal’s lap, finding a comfortable position where his ass won’t hurt too much. He grabs his ice-cream and the spoons. Roman declines the offer initially, isn’t a fan of ice-cream. But Seth’s, “For me,” coupled with his doe eyes (they’re Roman’s kryptonite) are his undoing.

It’s so cozy, the way they are at the moment. Seth tries to focus on the cartoons, but he’s distracted. Because he hasn’t had this in so long. And right now, being surrounded and consumed by the man he’s in love with, Seth thinks he could lay on Roman’s chest forever. He wants to be like this forever.

***

“You look amazing, these babies are doing wonders for your skin.” Naomi says as she brings Seth in for a hug, right in the middle of this semi-packed four-star restaurant. The snobby bastards have the audacity to look at them weirdly. Seth thinks he’ll never understand what it is about rich people that makes them all look like they’re constipated. Except for Roman’s family. He’s not being biased, just an observation.

“I, thank you, Nae…” he thinks Naomi’s becoming blind. His skin looks horrible, but maybe the glow is from the dicking down he got last night. Even if he broke down afterwards, and he’s embarrassed about the whole thing now, by the way. Yes, he’s weird. Sitting down is a bit problematic, his ass hasn’t exactly recovered. “How are you?”

Naomi looks ready to chuckle at his pained expression, she seems to know the reason behind it. Seth’s cheeks heat up, but he won’t be intimidated into admitting anything. “Oh no honey, I think I should be directing that question to you. Or maybe your booty in this case?”

“Haha,” he rolls his eyes, grateful when the waitron comes to take their drinks orders.

“Fuck, Seth, I can’t believe you!” Naomi guffaws loudly as soon as the young lady walks off. “How did you manage this? As far as I know, you and Romie aren’t living together at the moment.”

“We’re not,” Seth confirms, tugging at his hoodie. “He just…came over last night—or very early into the morning, whatever you prefer. Said he had a bad dream.”

“And dicking you six ways into the weekend helped chase the dream away?”

Seth’s eyes widen, “No!” he sputters. Naomi’s lucky their drinks haven’t arrived. It would’ve splattered all over her white blouse were he drinking. “Naomi, no…god, no!”

Naomi chuckles lightly, accepting her drink from the waitron. She leaves again after they order their food. “I guess I’m just trying to understand.”

“There’s nothing to understand,” Seth sighs. “He had a bad dream, came to me. But he rarely opens up much to me, so I don’t know the details of the dream. I got angry, we had sex. That’s it.”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea, the sex?”

Seth raises an eyebrow, “I’m not sure I understand,” his fork pausing halfway into stabbing a sliced cucumber.

“I mean, you haven’t told me anything about why you guys are separated Seth. But if there is a rift between the two of you, don’t you think you should, I don’t know…keep away from the sex a little? I know it’s rarely ever just a transaction with two individuals who’re in love—like you and Roman are. Don’t you think it will, maybe get in the way? Cause distractions or cloud judgements, you know. Or maybe one of you uses the other as a stress reliever or shit like that? I just don’t think it’s a good idea.”

Seth nods his head, slowly—getting what Naomi’s saying. He remembers last night, how he’d feared some of the things she’s mentioned. Like the stress reliever part, he knows how much it hurts—emotionally and physically—to have Roman do that. It’s partly why they’re here in the first place. But also her other reasons make sense, last night, Roman had lured everything out of him. Even when Seth had initially just craved the physical contact from him, the emotions were brought to the surface. Because his soul connects to the royal in a way that Seth cannot understand.

“I…get what you’re saying. And maybe you’re right. Thank you, Nae…”

Naomi waves him off, gracing him with a smile. “Anything for you,” her browns glimmer as if something’s just crossed her mind. “Good luck explaining that to your sex addict boyfriend. I’m surprised you agreed so easily as well, to be honest. You and Roman taking fucking to new heights, I ain’t exaggerating. Every time I visit y’all, I have to wait a whole damn hour. And don’t bother denying it—” Naomi adds the last part quickly, shutting down any hopes of denial from Seth.

“Whatever, at least it means we have healthy sexual appetites.”

“Mhm,” Naomi hums lowly. “Anyway, tell me how you've been. We haven’t spoken in forever.”

“I don’t know,” Seth shrugs. “I’m okay as can be, I guess?”

Naomi nods her head, “And the babies?”

A smile is already pulling at Seth’s lips, “I’m finally in the second trimester. I think out of everything that’s happening at the moment, this brought me so much joy. I’m, erhm, fifteen weeks since yesterday. And I’m still so tired, Nae. It’s supposed to go away apparently—the exhaustion. I read that this is the most peaceful trimester. I haven’t experienced this…peace yet but hopefully I will soon. And at the antenatal checkup, the babies kept moving. Especially the twins, they probably have the same mind. It’s a pity their father hadn’t been there. But I have the sonogram pictures, he saw them before he left this morning.”

“What did he say?”

“Nothing, I think he wanted to cry. I’ve only ever seen him do that like once? He rarely cries, but the tears are always lurking when he sees our babies.”

Naomi laughs, “Just wait until they get here, he won’t be able to stop them. Jimmy’s the same. Will he join you on the next checkup?”

“Yeah, he never wants to miss them for the world. It’s just, this last one, he wasn’t even in Miami.”

“I see—I love how you’re excited for the babies. It’s so endearing, I can just tell…you’ll be the best mother to these babies.”

Seth tears up, wrong fucking timing—again! He’s in public, for crying out loud. “Sorry,” he chuckles, dabbing his eyes. “I’m always teary now, I’d probably supply an entire city with my tears. But thanks Naomi, you’re a great mother so it’s reassuring. But you should see Xavier though, he’s worse. We laugh and cry together over newborn videos we find on the net. I think he’s bought a few clothes already, all pink—but his fiancé, Randy, hates the color. It’s Xavier’s favorite, and now he has the perfect excuse to have one of the rooms painted pink. But then there’s Dean also, you’d swear he fathered the babies. Always sending info on what’s happening with the babies whenever Xavier and I enter a new week. And he calls to remind us to eat healthy, and to exercise. He reminds Xavier to take his iron supplements—he’s amazing.”

“Those are the friends you keep around you.”

“Mhm,” Seth chuckles fondly. “They’re my family.”

Naomi smiles, “That’s really great, Seth. Anyway, I was thinking—oh no!” the last part is whispered. Naomi’s expression is slowly changing into one of distaste. “Don’t look now, but Nikki’s here. Of all the places in the fucking world…” a deep sigh slips past the dark skinned woman’s lips.

“You don’t sound too happy…” Seth observes her annoyed expression. “I didn’t know you disliked her.”

“I don’t,” Naomi looks at him, she’s serious. “But I also don’t like meeting acquaintances, heck what am I saying? She’s not even an acquaintance. Anyway, my point is I hate meeting people I know in public. Now we’ll have to exchange fake pleasantries and make small talk. It’s too much effort, Sethie.”

Seth stares bewildered, “Are you serious?”

“What? You can’t make me feel guilty,” Naomi folds her arms across her chest sassily. And then her eyes widen comically. “Oh crap, she’s coming to our table! Tell her I went to the toilet, text me when she leaves,” and before Seth can respond, Naomi makes her escape in the direction of the bathrooms.

“She’s running away isn’t she?” Seth hears a voice ask behind him. It’s gorgeous, a bit deeper than he expected. His heart’s beating hard inside his chest, but he turns his head to the side to finally meet this Nikki. See what he’s up against. If she’s more beautiful than him then he’ll seriously be mad at Roman, he’s not joking. Okay, maybe he’s joking—he’s not petty, and certainly not shallow.

She’s…beautiful.

This Nikki, she’s gorgeous. With long black her falling perfectly on her shoulders, and her too gorgeous to be real caramel skin. She’s built beautifully, her red dress accentuating her hourglass frame. It reveals all the assets she clearly so proudly wants to flaunt. And her red lipstick matches her nails. Red’s definitely her color. Damn, she’s beautiful. And Seth won’t lie, he’s a bit jealous here—he can definitely see what would’ve attracted Roman to her.

“I’m Nikki,” she breaks his stupid daze.

Seth clears his throat, cheeks burning. “Right, I’m so sorry. I’m Seth—it’s nice to meet you, by the way.” He gives her a polite smile.

Nikki looks at him intensely before she smiles. It feels fake to Seth. “Oh right, you’re the latest conquest,” she occupies Naomi’s seat.

That feels like a jab to him somehow. Seth raises his eyebrows, “Excuse me?”

“Oh please, you don’t act innocent. You know what I’m talking about. You’re his latest plaything, right? Roman?” She says it so coolly, like she isn’t sitting at his table, uninvited and behaving bitchy. What is it with bitter exes?

“First off, I don’t appreciate the way you’re talking to me. I don’t appreciate you disrupting this lunch, that I was having with my _cousin-in-law._ And I am not a plaything. If that’s what you were to Roman, then don’t assume that I am. Though I don’t blame him, he probably thought you were a doll with all that plastic.”

Nikki’s jaw drops, clearly surprised. Good, he won’t take her bullshit. Finally recovered, she clears her throat, flipping her hair over her shoulder. “And let me guess, you think you’re going to be different? Why? Because he’s letting you stay at the mansion. And you’re sleeping in his bed. And you have all these drivers and bodyguards and you’re practically a celebrity?” She’s rolling her eyes, tone condescending.

Seth doesn’t respond. She’s not worth it, but a part of him wishes Naomi would come back. He suddenly wants to leave this place.

Nikki continues, clearly unperturbed by his lack of response.  “But I’m sure we both know how he is, don’t we? All that glitz you’re leaving under still won’t change the fact that he probably disappears on you. Or that he fucks you so hard it hurts, and you can’t move the following day. Tell me, does he apologize? When he comes back, four-five days later? I never got that. But you’re _different_ , right? He _loves_ you?”

“Why are you doing this?” Seth whispers. He doesn’t get it, he’s never met this woman before. Has never done anything to wrong her. And yet, here she is, behaving so vilely towards him.

“Because I want you to open your eyes!” the fake smile returns, it’s watery. “Roman isn’t capable of love. Maybe with his family and friends, but for people like yourself and me—he can’t love romantically. Why do you think I left him for John? He’ll make you feel like you’re the only person in the entire galaxy one minute, and then you’re feeling so worthless the next. And you’re hating yourself for loving him.”

“That’s not true,” Seth shakes his head, instinct taking over. “You just weren’t a good match for him. It’s the reason that you left. I…know him, we’ve been together a while now.”

“Amazing what money can make people do isn’t?”

This bitch is testing him. Seth doesn’t like what she’s implying.

“You’re one to talk. You spent his money too, didn’t you?” he leans into her, getting his own condescending smile. “But I guess you’re right. It is amazing what money can make people do. Intelligent people that is, I guess that’s why I’m here and you’re…wherever you are.”

Nikki’s eyes burn maliciously, “You’re going to leave too, pretty boy. Once the money isn’t so appealing. And I’ll be watching, maybe on the news—you’re famous after all. I just wonder if you’ll be repairable by then.” She laughs, cackles so annoyingly that Seth’s tempted to smack her mouth. But he knows better. “I’m just doing you a favor, Seth. Advising you to bail while you can. Men like Roman don’t deserve love—not the kind of love we can offer. They don’t know what to do with it, so they destroy it,” her tone’s softer this time. She stands up, leaving before he can respond.

Seth stares after her, she settles five tables away from theirs. He blinks his blurry eyes rapidly. What the fuck just happened? He’s watching her going on without a care in the world when Naomi disrupts his staring, plopping down at her chair. “Damn, I told you to text me when she left, boo thang. If I hadn’t been checking every five minutes, I’d still be trapped in the bathroom like some psycho. I saw her talking to you. What did she say? I hope she doesn’t wanna meet up sometime.”

“She…” _I don’t know._ Involuntarily, Seth’s gaze finds Nikki again, she’s already staring. He doesn’t know why, but he drops eye contact—ashamed. His mind is racing, working a mile a minute. Thinking about their conversation.  Everything that happened last night, and then Elias earlier this week. And he can’t help it, but maybe he should just—

“Seth are you okay?”

Seth looks at Naomi, he’s seeing two of her. His vision is swimming. “I…f-fine,” he tremulously whispers. It’s not true, but then again, she doesn’t have to know a thing. He’ll deal with this at his own time. His heart’s whining though, so badly that Seth finds himself wishing he hadn’t come to Miami. There would be no reason for this. No heartache, no anger and no regrets. He wouldn't have to go through the rollercoaster of emotions that come with loving Roman. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'A broken man doesn't know what to do with a love like hers. It's gentle and giving but intense and hits in waves. She's giving him a whole, limitless and unconditional love, but he's too stubbornly broken. So he lets it slip through his pieces--now she's in pieces too." -- Allison Ryder. 
> 
> Thoughts?


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiii :)
> 
> This was supposed to come out on Sunday but electricity was being a B in our house. But here you are, and this is soooo long. It's beyond my control at this point honestly, LOL. 
> 
> There were two ways this chapter was gonna go and it came out this way. So everything here is on Jhene Aiko cause I was listening to her when I wrote this. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading <3.

Roman frowns, and tries to adjust the sudden light burning his eyes. At the doorway stands the woman who is his entire world. She’s smiling softly at him, looking simplistically majestic in a black tracksuit. Her black hair is tied into a ponytail, bringing attention to her green eyes. For someone’s who’s travelled over 14 hours to get here, she doesn’t look tired at all. Maybe she slept on the private jet, something that he could never do. Even if it does have comfortable beds. He’s always been afraid of sleeping in a plane, irrationally fearing that the plane could crash or something just as terrifying.

“I’ve been standing here, staring at you for over five minutes. Why are you sitting in the darkness, son?” His mother asks, still standing near the doorway.

“I’m not now,” he shakes his head, shutting his laptop.

His mother mimics his head shake, stepping inside his study completely and closing the door. “Okay, why were you sitting in the darkness then?”

“Because…” Roman sighs, carefully observing her. Her forest green eyes are boring into his soul, and Roman has to make a conscious effort not to fidget. She’s slowly poking at his vulnerability with that gaze of hers, slowly attempting to lure out his inner child. “The darkness is—comforting. I can shut everything away when it’s dark, Mama.”

“And what do you want to shut away?”

Roman shrugs, “Everything. I’ll tell you all about it later, Ma. Right now, I want to hear about you. How was your flight? Hai viaggio casseta di sicurezza?”

His mother’s smile turns into a glimmering, proud one. Like it always does when he speaks Italian. He’s the only one in their whole family who knows it fluently. The others don’t bother so much. The twins know a few phrases though. “I had a safe travel, thank you for asking, baby. But I will admit that I’m still a bit tired, especially because I was expecting my son to greet me as soon as I landed like he normally does. But alas…” she trails off, teasing expression etched on her youthful features.

“Sorry, I’ve just been…thinking a lot,” it’s not a lie. Seth has been dominating his mind a lot lately. Since yesterday night, the brunet has been behaving…strangely towards him. He’s offish, giving him one-worded cold answers through messages and even colder in telephonic conversation. Roman’s not sure what he’s done wrong this time. Earlier today, he asked Seth if he could visit—to see if they could work out whatever it is that he’s done wrong but Seth had flatly turned him down.

The aloof treatment is what led him here—sitting in the darkness of his study. No one said that light is the only source of comfort. Sometimes the darkness is just as welcoming, even if it always temporary. But he appreciates how it can take everything away, help him forget—like his whisky. But it’s time to come to back to reality, daunting a task as it is. He’s been sitting alone for far too long anyway, since noon, and he guesses it’s been six hours—if the clock on the wall gives any indication.

His mother’s hand gently touching his wrist draws him out of his thoughts. Roman looks at her through a blurry vision. “We’re going to talk, Ro—Leati,” she has a soft expression on her face. “Come, it’s time for dinner. And then afterwards, we’re going to catch up. I’m eager to know about what has been happening in your life, son.”

Roman sighs, following his mother outside. The aromas of exotic foods waft through the air. Home, he’s reminded of his younger preadolescent years that were filled with joy. Before his life got so complicated. But despite the heavenly smells, Roman repulses at the mere thought of eating. Maybe it again has something with Seth’s treatment of him. A part of him knows he has no right to, but he wishes Seth would talk to him. Tell him what’s troubling him so that Roman would try to fix it.

“I’ll go change into something lighter. Why don’t you go to the dining room? I think Manuia and Bobby will be joining us tonight.”

Complying, Roman finds Bobby and Manuia practically fucking in the dining room. At least they’re not doing it on the dining table—that he’s fucked Seth over more times than he can count. But they don’t need to know that. Roman clears his throat, gaining their attention. “We keep things PG in this household. Keep your hands to yourselves.” He’s serious…maybe not.

He receives a round of snorts.

“It’s funny you say that, because I could refresh your memory. Give out the number of times I’ve caught you and Seth in more compromising positions,” Manuia smirks as they settle.

“I’ll pass,” Roman says dully, he doesn’t need a reminder.

“Thought so,” Manuia laughs loudly with Bobby. Roman shakes his head, observing silently. These two are best friends, it could be the reason they connect so well. That their relationship is so amazing. A hint of jealousy, so miniscule, stabs at his heart. He’s not sure if he’ll ever reach their level of profundity in his relationships.

“So what’d you do to Seth?” Bobby has an amused grin stretching his lips.

Roman clears his throat, perplexed. “I don’t know.”

The snorts begin again, “Story of your life,” it’s Bobby again.

Manuia spares him an inquisitive glance, “Are you sure? I invited him to come over because aunt Pat’s here. But he told me he’d rather be in hell than be next to you. Wouldn’t tell me why though…”

That causes Roman to groan low in his throat. Maybe this whole thing is more serious than he thought. But Roman, honest to his ancestors, hasn’t the slightest clue what he’s done wrong. He apologized yesterday, just before he left, he apologized to Seth for the sex. He thought that he’d been forgiven. But maybe he hasn’t, maybe he was wrong. “I don’t know, brother. On our ancestors, I swear.”

“Well you better fix it,” Manuia says sternly, “I don’t know how because he sounds genuinely angry at you but try. He’s pregnant, you should be making happy—not the opposite.”

The Queen joins them before he can respond. But Manuia is still looking at him, giving him an expectant look so Roman merely nods his head. In the morning, he’ll go to Lion Heart to see if he can get Seth to talk to him. Part of him dreads any form of communication though because he has no idea what to expect. But he’ll try, show Seth that he’s trying to be mature now.

“I can’t wait to shove this down my throat,” Manuia moans deeply as Masina goes around dishing Sapasui for everyone.

Roman chokes on his saliva while Bobby and his mother laugh loudly—the double meaning wasn’t lost on them too, it seems. “Manuia your mouth’s still so untrained,” Patricia recovers with tiny giggles.

“He’s better than Dean though,” Bobby says, gripping his tumbler of whisky.

Roman taps his fingers against his own tumbler, that’s filled with orange juice. Seth told him yesterday, before he left the brunet's house, that he should stay away from alcohol for a while. Roman had reluctantly agreed, after Seth explained his concerns. He drinks whisky way too much apparently. And Roman couldn’t refute the brunet’s claims. It’s how he finds himself here, drinking fucking _orange juice_ like some toddler.

“This is for your good, you know.” Manuia says, totally reading his mind.

“I know,” Roman raises an eyebrow. “It doesn’t mean I have to like it though. Who has dinner with juice? It’s a fucking blasphem—”

“Language, Roman.”

“I meant bucking, Mama.” Roman looks at her, lopsided grin stretching his lips.

“Yeah you did,” his mother rolls her eyes. “Because bucking makes sooo much sense.”

Laughter falls at their table. Dinner is eaten peacefully when Manuia begins rambling, “Aunt Pat, I was thinking—well, Bobby and I were thinking that maybe it’s time for me to, uh, move out of the palace. I was going to tell you,” the last part is aimed towards Roman whose brow is raised accusingly. The whole thing is news to him after all. “I was brother, but you’re going through some shi—I mean, a hard time. So I thought I’d tell aunt Pat first—not now, but my mouth’s impatient.”

“I get it, brother.”

“Only if you’re sure, Manuia. Have you decided on a house? I can get one of the realtors help you find something, and then correspond with you via email on potential houses.”

Manuia shakes his head, “Thanks but not necessary. I’ve been in talks with Heneli. I think we may've found something we like. But we’re not decided yet. We’re still viewing other houses.”

“When did you decide this Manuia?” Roman asks suspiciously because it sounds like this has been in the works for quite some time now.

Manuia’s gaze flickers to him, he has a shy smile on his face. “We’d been discussing it for a while. But the morning of Seth’s graduation—we took the first step.”

“Why?” Roman asks again. It’s not that he’s not happy for Manuia and Bobby. But Manuia is his before he is Bobby’s. And Roman doesn’t want him to leave, he made living at the palace more bearable. A place filled with so many memories that he can’t bear sometimes.

“It’s time, Roman.” Manuia looks at him as if he understands. “We’re both grown, you’re going to have a family of your own. And I…well, I don’t know but the idea of a—family is kinda appealing to me now. I know I can’t have my own kids but maybe one day, I’d like to adopt. There are a lot of orphanages back home. The idea of sharing what we have with a few young ones brings us joy. We only discussed this recently though so it’ll probably be a long while before we take any steps.”

Roman observes Bobby and Manuia. They’re looking at each other lovingly, their hands have entwined somehow—almost as if they are in a couple’s interview or something. But even then, where most people would look like they’re trying too hard or faking, these two just look so in love.

“I’m happy for you, both of you.” Roman clears his throat. He is, Manuia deserves happiness. After everything he’s been through. His bodyguard’s the epitome of strong, a survivor.

Manuia searches his eyes, giving him a tremulous grin at the honesty he’s sure is showing on his face. “Thank you, brother. I really appreciate it.”

Roman nods his head, just as his phone interrupts the laidback atmosphere. It’s a message from Seth.

“Really Roman? You’re bringing your phone to the dinner table?” it’s his mother asking the question but Roman barely pays her any mind.

His heart transitions from it’s steady rhythm to unsteady, heavy thrums. This is the first message he’s receiving in over six hours from Seth. He’d given up trying to talk to the brunet after the cold, one-worded answers. “It’s Seth…” he looks at his mother. The response should be enough for her. Seth comes first anyway. Roman unlocks his phone, scanning the message.

_Can you bring me some hot wings? And a basket of fruit. Bring Masina's fish tacos too._

“What is it?” Manuia asks at his low chuckle.

“Nothing…he just has a bunch of food he wants me to get for him.”

Loud laughter rings out in the dining room.

“You better hurry, from what I’ve heard, pregnant people don’t like to be kept waiting when it comes to their food.”

Roman gives Manuia a quizzical glance, “He wants Masina’s tacos.”

“Tsk tsk, you’re still sitting.”

The warning propels Roman into action. He’s already texting Masina to get started on the tacos. “Tell him he shouldn’t forget about our lunch date tomorrow. And that I miss him. I’ll text him before I go to bed. And you, when you come back, I want us to talk.”

Roman nods his head absently, “Anything you want, Mama.” Seth’s stealing his thoughts again. And Roman can’t help but feel a bit relieved at the message he’s just received because maybe Seth’s finally calmed down. Maybe they’ll finally talk…about whatever the problem is (was). “I’ll go wait in the kitchen.”

“Finally, you’re catching up.” Manuia teases.

Roman has no time to reply, he allows his family to get away with laughing at his expense as he escapes to the kitchen.

* * *

 

Seth feels like he’s been waiting forever when Roman’s car finally enters his driveway. He’s gone through a host of feelings from the time he sent his message until now. They range from impatience to annoyance. It’s all Roman’s fault. The man lives fifteen minutes away, and it’s taken him nearly an hour to get here with Seth’s food. The brunet can feel his annoyance spiking again and takes a deep breath. There’s no need to behave like a pregnant man, his food’s here—that’s all that matters.

Seth goes to open the front door, looking at a smiling Roman. The royal’s trying too hard, the anxiety is so visible in his eyes. “Get in.” Seth leaves the door opened.

He bypasses the living room, skipping the dining room for the kitchen. “I, uh, got your food.” Roman places two plastic bags on the island.

The aromas are already teasing Seth’s nostrils. “Thank you.” Grabbing the plastic bags from across the island, he scans its contents. A frown knits his brows and he looks up at Roman but says nothing.

“Is something wrong?”

The question annoys Seth because clearly something is wrong. His damn expression should be clue enough. “My grapes.”

Roman blinks rapidly, looking like a confused child. Normally Seth melts when he does that, finding it endearing but not today. “Where are my grapes, Roman? The one thing I’m craving the most and it’s not here. What am I supposed to do with this?” Seth snatches a couple of chocolate bars from the plastic bag. He doesn’t remember asking for this. “Why the fuck would you buy me this?!”

Roman doesn’t respond, he rubs his face in what looks like frustration. When he reveals himself again, the good-looking jerk has the audacity to raise his damn eyebrow. It irritates Seth, it does! “I, alofagia—”

“Don’t call me that, you know my name.”

That catches Roman off guard, surprise etched clearly on his face. “Why are you so angry, Seth? You’ve been like this since yesterday but you’re refusing to talk—”

Seth cuts Roman short with a snort. “You’re the last person who should be complaining about that. Don’t even let it come out of your mouth.”

Roman closes his eyes, Seth thinks he’s counting in his head. When he opens his eyes, they’re searching. Seth braves the eye contact, hoping he’s nailing the ‘blank stare’ thing that Roman normally pulls on him. Let’s see how he likes being unable to read any emotion from him.  

A sigh slips past Roman before his lips press together, “I don’t want to argue Seth. I will apologize for forgetting your grapes. The chocolates I bought as an afterthought, to do something nice for you. I thought they were your favorite.”

“Well you thought wrong,” he’s lying but he doesn’t care. He’s feeling so much at the moment. Anger right at the forefront. And if anyone deserves his wrath, it’s the sexy royal asshole in front of him.

Roman arches that damn brow again, lips pressing tighter than before. “I’m sorry then alo—”

“No, you’re not going to say that. You always say that.”

Roman shakes his head, eyeing him up and down. Seth hates it, makes him feel self-conscious. He’s naked, as usual. But he also hates Roman’s confused expression. It only adds fuel to his angry fire.

“Did I do something wrong, Seth? I don’t get why you’re so—” Seth narrows his gaze on Roman as the royal gestures vaguely, carelessly waving his hand at him.

“What?” his arms fold on top of his growing belly. He silently dares Roman to say something…anything. There’s so much he wants to tell the royal bastard today. He’s armed and ready to fire at the object of his wrath.

Roman looks a bit hesitant as he answers, “Angry,” it’s said quietly.

Seth laughs. Hysterically. Mirthlessly. Frustratedly.

“Mhm, why am I so angry?” He questions sarcastically. “Oh I don’t know. Maybe I’m angry because I’m fed up. You ever think about that, mhm? That I get tired of the fucking crap you put me through, Roman. I’m angry because I’m allowed to feel that way too. Or do you think I’m a robot? It’s probably why you hurt me so much, isn’t?”

Roman says nothing, but his gaze darkens with emotion. Seth doesn’t care. After yesterday, with that bitch ex of Roman’s, he wants everything to spill out. To hurt Roman, like the man’s always hurting him.

“I met the plastic bitch you used to call ‘girlfriend’ yesterday.”

Silence.

“Aren’t you going to say anything?!”

Roman is still a mannequin.

“Well I will,” Seth carries on angrily. Roman can remain a bloody mute all he wants but he’s not deaf. Tonight, he’s going to hear Seth out. Listen to every heartbreak, every sadness and every grievance that Seth wants to reveal. It’s the least his torturer can do—Roman will give him this. “Let’s see…where to start…” he twists his lips, and taps his foot, pretending to be in deep thought.

“Her behavior for one, is very nauseating. How you fell for someone so…vile is beyond me. But that’s not what I care about. Yesterday, after she invited herself to my table, I had to suffer through her insults. As she called me your plaything—a toy. A gold-digger that’s sleeping in your bed. As if that weren’t enough, she began making all these _assumptions._ Well, they’re not assumptions if they’re true I guess. Talking about your disappearing acts and how you probably ‘fuck’ me until it hurts,” Seth laughs bitterly.

“I will admit that I thought I was the only one who went through that. But she’s still lucky, she had to deal with your crap for a month. While I am here, putting up with your abusive tendencies. Your possessiveness, your disappearances. Heck, my body’s your personal dump site but I’m still here—like a fool. And now I’m being humiliated by your bitch girlfriend in public. You’re making a fool out of me.”

The royal bastard remains quiet for so long, Seth thinks he isn’t going to respond. But then the mannequin opens its mouth, saying quietly, “She’s not my girlfriend,” Roman meets his gaze, there’s too much going on with his dark eyes. But his dejection shows so clearly. It’s not enough, it’s far from enough. Seth wants to bring him to his knees. Let him experience the emotional rollercoaster that he goes through.

“I don’t care! What I care about is that I have to fend off your bitter exes while I’m dealing with your shit, Roman! It isn’t fair on me. God, you’re just—you frustrate me so much!” he’s screaming, futilely trying to get his blood pressure down. But he’s so angry, dejected—so unsure as to how he ever got here. “I swear you don’t deserve me.”

“I know,” Roman nods his head.

Seth doesn’t like the tone of his voice. “Don’t patronize me!” he’s not going to allow Roman to get away with no confrontation whatsoever. He’s not getting away that easily.

Inscrutable Roman replies, “I’m sor—”

“DON’T YOU DARE! Don’t you say that.”

Roman groans into his hands, rubbing his face frustratedly. “I don’t know what you want me to say, Seth. You won’t let me apologize. Don’t you think I know I don’t deserve you? That I—”

“No, shut the fuck up! Don’t fucking talk to me. Leave my house!” His vision is slowly blurring but he still sees Roman’s mouth open and close silently.

“Seth…” it’s whispered, Roman’s browns begging.

“No, stay the fuck away from me! I don’t want you here, leave my house Row-man.” The traitorous tears fall without restriction.

Roman stays completely still, for so long, resembling a statue. But he’s not hiding this time, his eyes reveal everything. Typical. The one time where Seth would rather they remained blank and those dark pools do the exact opposite. But Seth won’t allow them to lower his defenses, he refuses. “I said—get out! Get out, Roman! Leave my fucking house—go to Nikki!” maybe he’s being unreasonable, but he can’t help it. His mouth keeps spewing whatever’s going on inside his brain. “I fucking hate you right now. GET OUT!”

Roman seems to break out of his stupor. His gaze asking clearly, ‘Is this what they’ve come to?’

Seth doesn’t respond, but his chest’s heaving and his heart hurts badly. His heavy sobs have transitioned into silent cries.

Roman nods his head. He removes his black sweater, it falls to the floor. And then he walks out.

* * *

 

Roman has been waiting for the woman behind him for what feels like an eternity. He’s surprised that she even agreed to meeting him to be honest. The last time she was here, in his house, she was leaving him for another man. A part of him didn’t care much back then, too caught up in his own world. But he hadn’t been blind to the hurt he caused her. It’s the reason he called her a month after their breakup, wanting to make things right— apologize so they could both move on. He’d thought all had been forgotten and forgiven but maybe that isn’t the case.  

Clearly he thought wrong.

Roman sighs lowly, gaze still fixed on the distant forests. They bring him no peace. He’s experiencing a whirlwind of emotion. Thinking about everything that happened last night. He hates the way his heart shrinks in on itself. But he’s hurt, doesn’t think anyone’s words have cut him as deeply as Seth’s. And last night, his heart had been on the verge of exploding. Each word that came out of Seth’s mouth had been venomous. And he knows he deserves it, deserves Seth’s wrath but there’s only so much his heart can take.

Nikki’s heels annoyingly clicking against the floor bring him to earth.

“What do you want?” he asks quietly.

“You called me,” she jeers.

Roman takes a deep breath, doesn’t want his anger to get the best of him. But it’s proving hard, his hand shakes around the tumbler of whisky in his hand. Don’t judge him, he had to drink something to rein in his volatile emotions. He takes a sip, it’s not enough, so he chugs all of it down his throat. It does nothing to calm him down, and he’s forced to turn around to meet the devil spawn. She looks gorgeous—as she always does. Humans like Nikki don’t try. Their beauty comes naturally, so unforced. It’s a pity that all that beauty can’t make up for all the ugliness within though.

Roman pours himself another glass of whisky. It doesn’t even burn his throat anymore—it never matters how expensive or how strong. Licking his lips, he narrows his stare on the unmoving, attractive woman. “Nikki, I’m trying to be understanding here—patient,” it comes out deceptively calm. “I’ll ask you again. What the fuck do you want? I get that maybe you’re resentful towards me. But Seth? You’re approaching Seth now?”

He gets a shrug, “I’m saving him, actually. There’s a difference.” Her lips are twisted cynically.

“Saving?” Roman breathes out a snort.

“Yes. Someone needs to open his eyes. Make him realize that getting into a relationship with you is like selling your soul to the devil. The only place you’re going to send him to is hell.”

That hurts.

“And you’re the knight in shining armor that’s going to save him from me?” he chuckles, it’s without humor. Recovering with a contemptuous look, he shakes his head. “I don’t get why you’re so bitter, man. You broke up with me. But here you are, behaving like a—bitch. It’s not a good look on you.”

Nikki guffaws, loudly. She flips her hair over her shoulder, cynicism dancing in her eyes. “This _bitch_ you’re talking about—you created her. Embrace her, at least you gave me something.”

“I don’t have time for this,” Roman chugs another glass, filled to the brim this time, down his throat. The tumbler is then gripped tightly in his hand, to anchor him. “But I am going to warn you. I want you to stay away from Seth. You’re not to make his life uncomfortable. You see him coming your way, you change your course of direction and go the other way. You’re in the same place—it doesn’t matter the location—then you leave. I don’t want you breathing the same air as him, you’re not allowed to get that close. You’re not going to come at him. I want you to understand that. It’s an instruction.”

“I don’t think so,” Nikki shakes her head. “I’m going to do no such thing until I’m sure he knows who’s he dealing with. I’m the one doing the protecting here.”

Roman laughs this time, his head tilted scornfully. “And how, pray tell, are you planning to protect him? By fucking making him uncomfortable in public? Or by accusing him of being a gold-digger? We both know your intentions aren’t all completely righteous. So what the fuck do you really want?

“For you to leave him alone!” Nikki gets in space, looking up at him with her wet eyes. But she’s smiling though—an all too fake beam. Roman knows all of the little things about her. It’s in his nature to notice that about people, and something he can’t help. “I saw him yesterday, I saw all of him. And he didn’t deny it, when I told him about how you are. He didn’t deny it because you’re hurting him too. Just like you hurt me, Roman. Because it’s all you ever do. You claim to—love us…” Nikki shakes her head. Roman hates the look in her eyes, it’s taking him back to the past. To the day she broke up with him. Her words are poking at his vulnerability. “But your actions, the way you behave—it says otherwise. You don’t know how to love, Roman. You hurt the ones you claim to love. It’s the only thing you’re so good at!”

Roman’s jaw tightens at Nikki’s words. “That’s not—true.” He releases a harsh breath, body trembling. It’s too hot in here. Roman can feel a bead of sweat forming on his forehead. And why is it getting harder to breathe?

“Yes it is. And you’re a coward for not admitting it!” Nikki’s screaming now, like Seth had been doing at him last night. Her red wet eyes are quivering. “Do you know what you put us through, Roman? Do you get that you’re toxic? You’re not meant to receive love. You don’t deserve it.”

Roman bites the inside of his cheek. The rhythm of his heart changes, taking on unsteady beats. And he can’t breathe right, it feels like there’s a knife stuck in his windpipe. “I—uh,” he moves away from Nikki. Removing his sweater, he throws it carelessly on the floor. It doesn’t help lessen how inflamed he feels.

“You know it’s true,” Nikki is right behind him. Roman wishes she would shut up and leave. If she continues taunting him like this…

“Nikki…I—am sorry that I hurt you,” he whispers.

“It doesn’t undo what I went through!” Nikki lets through a humorless chuckle. “Even afterwards, you still had a hold over me even after I left you. For so long, my relationship with John struggled, at first because I don’t know what it is about you that’s so hard to over. And then, I was always scared—if John left and went for over an hour without calling me. _Because of you._ And how you’d disappear for _days—_ without calling, no texting. No communication whatsoever. I-I remember the first time I was intimate with John, I cried because I thought he’d chase me out. _Like you did._ I was still suffering even after I left you while you carried on happily with your life.”

“T-That isn’t t-true, Nikki…” Roman braves eye contact. “I-I missed you, when you left—I-I—”

“Spare the fucking bullshit for someone who cares!” Nikki’s right hand lifts to connect with his cheek but she stops herself, cursing loudly. Her eyes are wet with unshed tears. “Not everything is about you! No one’s obliged to always nurse your feelings. It’s not like you ever appreciate it anyway. All I want to do is show you what a disease you are, Roman. How you destroy. Everything you claim to love, you destroy. _I am proof of that._ And now Seth is slowly becoming proof of that.”

A lone tear escapes Roman’s eye. His heart is being ripped apart shred by shred. Does Nikki hate him so much? But...who is he to refute her claims? When the proof is right in front of him? She’s right. He created this. The bitter mess crying in front of him is his creation. And Seth…

“What can I do to prove how sorry I am?”

Nikki nails him with a level gaze. “Erase yourself completely from my memories.”

“If I could I would, Nikki…” Roman licks his wet lips. “All I can do is tell you that I am sorry. It’s from the heart, and I…” turning away from her, Roman rubs his face frustratedly. He feels bare right now. Like a vulnerable sixteen year old boy all over again. It’s the reason he finds himself facing her again, going down on one knee and then the other. He has never done this before, but to get this woman’s forgiveness, he will. “I—am sorry, Nikki. I—am sorry, please forgive me.”

He bows his head when she laughs. What the hell does she want from him?

“If you’re as sorry as you say you are then you’ll prove it. Actions speak louder than words, Roman. You’re never going to hurt another person again. You’re not going to destroy them like you did me. And it all begins with the person you’re staying with. If this _Seth_ is so important to you then you’re going to let him go. Because the only person he needs protecting from is _you._

No. No. No.

Roman releases shuddered breaths, eyes widening, with his body shaking so violently. He’s panicking, throat constricting. Nikki’s asking too much from him. Seth is his lifeline. If he goes away then Roman will be left with nothing. His life, it won’t have a purpose—again. “I-I can’t do—that, Nikki.”

“Because you’re selfish. You’d rather you dragged him into the darkness with you—like you did with me.”

“N-No, you don’t understand—” Roman stands up abruptly, knees buckling. He scans the drawers in his study like a mad man. “I-I’m getting h-help. A—therapist. I-I want to be—better for him. I promise you.”

Nikki rolls her eyes, as if she could hardly be interested. “Therapy doesn’t magically make you better, Roman. And it takes time to fix someone as…damaged as you. You’re like one of those wrecked, old cars that are almost beyond repair. It will require some hard work to bring all your broken pieces together. I bet they’re dusty too. So you require twice the effort. Even then, who can guarantee that you will be fully repaired? It’s not fair on Seth, don’t you think? That he should have to put up with you while you ‘fix’ yourself. He deserves better, Roman. Someone who can love him better, so much better.”

_I could’ve loved Tyler better._

Jey's voice rings so clearly in his mind, torturing him. He can hear every venomous word that Jey’s ever uttered to him. They fuse with Nikki’s words. Roman closes his eyes, furiously shaking his head because it’s not true. He can love, he’s capable of loving—he just, he just...

She’s…right.

Roman can’t refute Nikki. She’s managed to get under his skin, poking at every insecurity and fear. He’s sixteen again, blaming himself for Tyler’s death. Agreeing with Jey on being unable to love Tyler the right way. The whole thing’s followed him right into his adulthood. Nikki was his first victim. He dragged her down with him, to a dark place. And he’s dragging Seth down too, by making him deal with all his demons.

 _Let him go._ “ _No_. _No_. _No_ ,” Roman shakes his head stubbornly. That’s not an option, Seth belongs to him. The brunet loves him. _You know that’s not true. He said it last night, he hates you._ “No, nuh-uh. He’s mine, I—won’t let him go. He’s mine— _Nikki,_ ” his ex’s name is drawn out dejectedly. Roman looks at her through the tears blinding him. “I—love him and h-he loves me too. He tells me all the time—he _loves_ me. I can’t let him go—I love him.”

“And that’s the problem,” Nikki cups his cheek. She has a soft look on her face, it looks sincere. “You destroy what you claim to love, Roman. Let him go. Protect him from yourself.”

He’s defeated.

She must see it in his eyes because she gets a gentle smile, kisses his cheek and whispers, “Goodbye, Roman…” before she walks away, giving him one final look at the door before it closes with a soft click.

***

“Hey, I thought I’d find you here…” Roman hears Manuia’s voice from afar. He fails to catch much of his bodyguard’s words. He’s lost in his own world. Futilely trying to fight away his volatile emotions. He throws a combination of hooks, jabs and uppercuts interspersed with blocking motions at the tall leather punching bag. He’s been here for hours, since _she_ left. And his muscles are screaming in protest from being overworked but Roman hasn’t an idea how to stop himself.

“Roman?”

A grunt of acknowledgement is given to Manuia. But nothing else. Roman is only focused on the task at hand. To fight away all demons. He’s  merciless as he fights the punching bag. It’s almost as if Roman’s fighting the devil himself. He releases all of him, his brokenness, onto the punching bag.

A wounded growl emits him though when two arms fold around his middle, drawing him away from the boxing ring. Roman turns suddenly, elbow nearly colliding with Manuia’s stomach. “No, no, NO!” Roman escapes from Manuia’s hold, growling out in frustration, “WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?”

“Me? No, Roman—what the fuck is _your_ problem? What’s wrong? You’ve been sour since you came back from Seth’s last night. Did something happen between you two?”

Seth.

Roman laughs hysterically. He has no idea what’s funny. Maybe he really is more damaged than he realized. And then he looks at Manuia, “I’m—breaking up with him,” he walks away, flexing his sore hands in the process. “WHAT THE FUCK IS IT?” he gets into Manuia’s face when the big man grips his wrist, preventing him from leaving the home gym.

“What did you say?” Manuia’s tone is whispered, his eyes searching.

Roman knows how to hide his feelings. Even from Manuia. “I’m breaking up with him,” he repeats, tone blank. He shrugs nonchalantly for added measure.

“No, no, Roman hold the fuck up!” Manuia does not look happy. “You can’t just say things like that. When the fuck did you decide this? Why now? What happened? Did you do something again?”

Aha! Even Manuia knows that he’s a problem. “I’m just sparing him, Manuia. Do you know that, with Nikki, she had relationship problems with John? I had to do with it. I nearly destroyed her.”

“Wait, what? Nikki? What does Nikki have to do with this?”

Roman snatches his hand out of Manuia’s grip. “Nothing. I’ve just seen the light.”

Manuia snorts, “And who showed it to you? Nikki? Where did you even meet her? And since when do you listen to the likes of Nikki, Roman?”

“Since what she said made sense.”

“And what did she say? Please, enlighten me.”

“I’m messed up, Manuia. You know this. N-Nikki—showed me, I am dragging Seth to a dark place.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

Roman shakes his head, walking away from Manuia. He’s outside, staring into the distance. The moon shines down on the forests, and the air is crisp—smells so clean. But it still sears his lungs as he breathes it in. He’s thought about this long and hard. Maybe there is no other way. He’s too damaged, has so many issues that need to be worked through. Most of them revolve around Tyler. He needs to confront every feeling he has towards the dead boy and how it’s affecting him.

“Roman, what did Nikki say to you that was so bad you feel that you have to break up with Seth? What about your fucking kids? So you’re going to run away, like some fucking coward?”

It’s the second time he’s being called a coward, and this time it pisses Roman off. He turns to face Manuia, gripping the big man’s sweater. “I. Am. Not. A. Coward,” he grits out through his blurred vision. “I’m fucking noble, for doing the right thing.”

“But your kids, Roman what about your kids?” there is a desperation in Manuia’s voice.

Roman remains silent, jaw clenching painfully and eyes closing. He tries to breathe through the pain in his stomach. “Those kids are better off without—me.” It’s true, as much as it hurts to admit it. Right now, he’s not meant to love anyone. Like Nikki said, with all the love he claims to give, he’s still destroying. And for once he’ll do the right thing. Never mind that he’s being ripped apart in the process.

“Roman!” Manuia’s eyes widen. “So this is what you’re doing? You’re serious, you’re giving up?” Manuia jaw clenches, the moon reflects his enraged gaze. “YOU ARE SO SELFISH!”

 _That word again._ What do these people want from him?

“Okay, I’ll show you then. Why Seth deserves better, I’ll show you…” Roman unlatches from Manuia’s sweater with a rough shove to his bodyguard. Maneuvering past the big man, he goes back inside the home gym, silently telling Manuia to follow him. He’ll show Manuia just how depraved he is.

The lights turn on when he enters his study. Roman goes to the mahogany desk, opening a drawer. Manuia’s just entered when he retrieves his laptop from inside the drawer. His hands are shaking as he beckons Manuia to him. The laptop is opened, the app Cody installed opened, showing a number of camera footage from when Seth was staying at the mansion. He stands aside and rubs his lips in anxiety, wetness in his eyes.

“No,” Manuia whispers, his voice is shaking. Roman notices how his posture tenses. The man alternates his gaze between the laptop and Roman. His mouth hangs open, lips trembling. “Roman, tell me this isn’t true.” He’s begging.

Roman remains silent, lips pressed into a thin line.

“What the fuck were you thinking?!” Manuia bellows, shaking his head furiously. “Roman, what the fuck is this? What are you—fuck! What are you doing?!”

“You—wouldn’t understand,” Roman lifts his head. “I was protecting the both of us,” he ignores Manuia’s sneer. Going back to the laptop, his fingers tap on it a few times before new camera footage appears. This one is most recent, from a few days ago. It shows a completely different house. A new house. The house that he bought for Seth a few days ago.

He falls on his chair this time, rocking back and forth as Manuia observes the footage while shaking his head furiously in disbelief. “Roman…” Manuia looks at him with watery eyes. It has Roman groaning low in his throat. “Why would you…” the big man’s unable to finish.

“I have people following him,” Roman blurts out. He gets up, unable to stand himself or the look in Manuia’s eyes. The disappointment and condemnation is so clear. “Cody and his husband, they’re to follow him everywhere. I don’t want him to drive himself anywhere. I told him it’s for his protection—that is partly true. I don’t want him to be alone because I need to…protect myself. Two weeks into our relationship, he…almost left me. He was drunk, said some things about Tyler and I—got angry. I wasn’t far from really hurting him, Manuia. And then there’s the other times, when I have the dreams. I-I hurt him, brother. I _use_ his body. Sometimes I’m unaware, feeling too much. The other times, he helps take the pain away. Now tell me this, is that the kind of love he deserves?”

Manuia doesn’t respond. But it’s enough to prompt Roman to face him. He wants to clean the inside, to show Manuia what Nikki had made him see.

“Nikki spoke to him, a few days ago, showing him how fucked up I am. I asked her to come here, after you and Mama left. I told her to stay away from him and she laughed at me, Manuia…” Roman gets a watery Cheshire cat grin on his face. He’s gathered enough courage to look his bodyguard in the eyes. “And told me that _I_ am the one Seth needs protecting from. She’s right.” He shrugs stiffly.

“What about Seth? And how he feels?”

“This isn’t about feelings. It’s about what’s right. And what’s right is I have to let him go,” his tone’s gone back to being blank again but Roman’s dying on the inside. He’s finding it hard to breathe. He’s dying from sucking in intakes of air, crisp as it is, but it’s still hurting his lungs. “I—love him, Manuia. But I’m destroying him, dragging him down with me. He doesn’t deserve—the pain that comes being with me.”

“You’re getting therapy, Leati. That’s what you need. You’re willing to try, that’s what’s important,” the desperation returns.

“And who knows how long it will take until I’m less fucked up, Manuia? If I stay with him now, I—can’t be sure that I won’t still have him followed. I can’t promise that I won’t keep tabs on what’s going on with him inside that house. And this therapy thing—” Roman groans, veins popping—he doesn’t know what to do. The pain is verging on unbearable—it feels like he might explode. “I don’t want to find myself hurting him like I did that night, or the other nights. The only way I can try to—resist is to let him go.”

Roman makes a defeated sound, shaky hands clenching into tight fists. His breathing becomes more ragged, nausea turning him sheer white. He licks his lips, staring into space. “He won’t talk to me after last night. Can you talk to him for me? I know he’s with Mama now. But afterwards, get through to him for me. The sooner I do this, the better. I was thinking tomorrow?”

Manuia can’t seem to conjure up any words. But slowly, he nods his head.

“Thank you, brother.” Roman turns from him again, heading to the sliding door that will lead him deep into the forest. “You’ll have to excuse me please,” his voice is hoarse with emotion. “I think I am going to go for a run—alone,” he adds the last part, so that Manuia will stay exactly where he is.

* * *

 

“Seth, honey, breakfast’s ready!”

“Coming!” Seth yells right back, unsure if Roman’s mother’s even heard him. But the door to his bedroom is open, so maybe. It’s just that he has a sore throat today. Don’t ask him why, he has no idea as well. But the sore throat won’t be enough to dampen his mood. He’s in high spirits today, it has to do with Roman’s mother spending all of yesterday with him. She even spent the night.

And he’s really glad for her presence, she’d gone to Lion Heart with him yesterday. Found out more about the foundation, and the former sex workers. It was a great day, everyone seemed in awe of her. But she’s so down to earth, and wasn’t even worried about getting dirty as she played with the kids. And then at home, he poured out his hurt and confusion and frustrations. Revealing what a rollercoaster ride it is being with her son sometimes.

The elderly woman hadn’t judged him. Initially, he’d been afraid to reveal how he hates Roman sometimes but she’d told him he needn’t hide anything from her. Because just like Roman, Seth’s also her son. So Seth hadn’t held back, calling Roman every derogatory word he could think of. Mama had merely laughed at him, claiming she could see right through him.

And it hadn’t been a lie. Because for every curse word that Seth had let slip through as he talked about Roman, the fluttering had still been there in his stomach. Seth thinks Roman’s the only who has the ability to make him feel so many contradicting emotions at the same time. Right now, he loves the royal bastard just as much as he hates him. Okay, he’s lying. The love surpasses the hate times infinity. But he still hates Roman too.

It’s the reason, he’s been avoiding the royal since Sunday. Yesterday, he just couldn’t do it, still too angry. But right now, he wouldn’t mind hearing from him. Roman hasn’t tried to get in touch though, the last time he did was around two o’clock yesterday. It’s strange, because usually even when they’re not on good terms, Roman will still send him good morning texts. But today—nothing…

Seth won’t think about it too much. He’ll send the text himself at work. To show Roman that it’s okay, and he’s not angry anymore. Well, not completely. But you get what he’s getting at.

Tying his hair messily, Seth gives himself a once over on the mirror. Gosh, he’s so fat. And it’s not even halfway into his pregnancy. The threaten to sneak past at his train of thought, and Seth dabs at his eyes. He’s promised himself that he’s not going to cry over his weight gain. The babies are worth it anyways.

Grabbing his duffel bag, he exits his room. The aromas are already wafting through the air and he inhales deeply. “Talofa Mama,” he greets in the breakfast room. His eyes widen as he takes in the assortment of food decked on the table. “This all looks good. But didn’t you go overboard a bit?” he settles on his chair, moving around a bit to get comfortable. “This is too much for just the two of us.”

“Most of it is yours, you need to eat more.”

Seth snaps his gaze to her, she’s smiling softly. “Please tell me you’re joking. Don’t you see how—fat I am? It’s embarrassing. And I don’t think the baggy clothes are helping anymore. The workers at Lion Heart were giving me suspicious glances.”

“You’re not obliged to tell anyone anything, sweetheart. Let them keep guessing, besides you’re so beautiful like this.”

“Yeah, right. I look like the Michelin Man…” he sighs, taking a bite of his Avocado toast. It’s the only food he eats consistently, every morning.

Mama laughs, pouring herself a cup of coffee. Seth ignores the way it teases his nostrils, he hardly ever drinks it now. Only once every two weeks, maybe it’s paranoia but he doesn’t want to risk anything happening to the babies. And he knows that most pregnant people are advised to cut down on it.

“Will you join me at Lion Heart today?”

“I have nothing on my agenda,” Mama shrugs casually. “But I was hoping to catch up with my son. I think he’s been avoiding me since that argument you two had.”

A pang of guilt stabs at Seth, “I’m sorry,” he whispers, biting his lip. “I was just angry. At that…woman, and maybe I was wrong—”

“Hey now, none of that.” Mama grips his hand. “You had every right to feel that way. I had to deal with my fair share of Sika's exes. It’s frustrating, especially in your first relationship. And suddenly all these former lovers attack you for no reason other than wanting to make you feel miserable. I just wish I knew this Nikki woman, I’d like to give her a piece of my mind.”

Seth grimaces, “You wouldn’t want to meet her, trust me. She’s a distasteful bitch.”

“That’s an even greater reason to meet her. I know how to put a bitch in her place.”

“Maybe one day, I’ll personally send her an invitation card to my wedding. Giver her a real reason to hate me. Not this petty drama she wanted to create out of insecurity.”

“Is that so?” Mama gets a teasing grin.

“Yup,” Seth grabs another slice of toast. “I’ve heard it drives them crazy when you do that—bitter exes.”

“The others don’t know this, but I did the same. It does drive them crazy, they sit there looking all watery eyed with constipated faces.”

Seth chuckles loudly. “I wouldn’t mind seeing that look on Nikki,” recovering, he sighs and rubs his belly soothingly. He’s so full but he’s still so hungry. How is that possible? “Thank you…for being here, Mama. I feel so much better now that you’re here.”

“I’m glad to be here, Seth. I’m your mother too, just as much as I am Roman’s. And you have a friend in me too—a confidante. You don’t ever have to feel like you’re all alone, I’m right here.”

“You’re too…human to be a Queen,” Seth’s mind rushes to his mouth. He blushes bright red when she blinks rapidly, before laughing loudly. “It’s a compliment. And I mean, I know they’re human too—royalty. But you get what I’m saying.”

“I do, but I tell you—you’d be surprised at how many of us are just as human as the next person, Seth. With faults like every one.”

“You’re probably right. Your son’s a future King but he’s still such an asshole,” it’s his mind rushing to his mouth again. And then his eyes widen, “Oh shit! I’m so sorry, Mama. It’s just—”

“I get it,” Mama lifts her hand gently. “It’s okay to be angry at him.”

“I, he just—gah! He infuriates me so much sometimes. He’s lucky that I’m so in love with him. I let him get away with way too much.”

“I’m sorry for his behavior, Seth.”

“It’s not your fault.” Seth waves her off. “I know he has it in him, to love me the way I deserve. Which is why I’m so happy he’s going to his first therapy session tomorrow. I…am not going to pretend that I’m not nervous for him too, though. Therapy requires a lot of hard work, Mama. Roman struggles to open up most of the time. How much more harder will it be with a stranger?”

“It would be naïve to think it won’t be hard at first, baby. But he’s willing to do this, so we’re going to have faith in him. Especially when he took the decision all on his own. The last time he went to therapy, he was a teenager compelled to do it by myself and his father. It never worked out so well, I guess that’s why we’re here,” Mama exhales shakily, her eyes quivering. Her smile is tremulous as it is hopeful, “It’s going to be a long hard road, but in the end, it’ll all be worth it.”

Biting his lip, Seth nods his head. “You’re right. I am grateful at least, that he’s willing to give this a try. I love him so much.”

Roman’s mother gets the brightest smile. “You’re unable to talk about him at all without declaring your love for him, Seth.”

Seth looks at her, shrugging. “I…guess it’s something I do without notice,” it’s true. He hadn’t realized it until Mama brought it to his attention. “The royal bastard makes me weak.”

The chuckles start again, as Mama grabs their dirty dishes. His offer of assisting is turned down. “Stay here, I’ll be back before you know it.”

Seth gives her a head nod. He retrieves his phone from his bag as he waits for Roman’s mother. There’s two missed calls from Manuia. From last night apparently. Seth was too busy enjoying Mama’s company last night that he’d hardly attended to his phone. Unlocking his phone, he decides to message Manuia instead of calling.  

_Hey, you called?_

His fingers thrum against the dining table, waiting for a response. He thinks about texting Roman, the royal’s probably been awake for a while now. The clock’s just hit after 07:00. Seth goes to the royal’s name, types a few words then deletes them. His fingers work against him again.

_I’m sorry._

He deletes the message right after typing it. Because part of him isn’t sorry, it was only a matter of time. He was due to crack with everything that he goes through. But that doesn’t make him miss Roman any less. And he’s worried, because he told the man to go to Nikki. What if Roman thinks he was giving him the leeway to cheat?

No. Roman isn’t like that. Seth remembers, on their first date the royal told him he doesn’t do casual sex. Thinking he would cheat is a ridiculous thought. But he’s still so scared though, and it’s not helping his case how his mind is creating all these scenarios in his mind. What if Roman decides that Nikki is the better option?

_I love you._

He types faster than he’s ever typed before, sending the message before he can stop himself. There. Roman will know that he’s not angry anymore. And he’ll reply with some cheesy line. Like he always does. Seth smiles when his phone chirps with a message. He knows Roman so well.

_Manuia: Yes. Can Roman come to see you later on today?_

Seth frowns for two reasons. The first being that the message’s not from the one person he wants to hear from the most. And second, since when did Manuia become Roman’s advocate? Why couldn’t Roman ask him that question himself?

 _He did,_ the thought swirls in his mind. And yes he did, but Seth was too angry at him yesterday. So he hadn’t responded. He needs to fix this. He sends another message to Roman.

_I miss you._

Another message comes through. Seth’s heart sinks into his stomach. It’s not from the man he wants to hear from.

_Manuia: Seth?_

_Seth: He can. I’m sorry, Manuia._

_Manuia: It’s alright :)_

_Seth: When will he come?_

_Manuia: Later on, after work. He’s busy with a few things at the moment._

Seth bites his lip. That calms down the erratic beating of his heart a bit. So Roman’s busy then, maybe it’s the reason he’s not responding to his messages.

_Seth: Are you with him?_

The response doesn’t come for a while. It feels like forever but maybe it’s five minutes.

_Manuia: Sorry, nope._

_Seth: Oh…thanks anyway._

“Seth are you ready to leave?”

That voice startles Seth’s worried stupor. He look up, Mama’s standing at the doorway. “Um, yes. John’s outside?”

“Mhm, I let him in.”

“Okay,” Seth clears his throat. “Okay,” he repeats, lifting off his chair. He grabs his bag, following Roman’s mother outside.

***

Seth opens his front door with a quickening of his breath and an unsteadiness of his heartbeat. A gentle, pleased smile forms of it’s own accord, stretching his lips softly. “Hi.” Seth can’t help it, instinctively, he gets into Roman’s personal space, kisses his cheek and then pecks his lips. His arms fold around a dumbfounded Roman’s waist and he hugs him tightly. “I’ve missed you so much,” he whispers honestly. Roman’s scent teases his nostrils and Seth buries his face into the royal’s chest, breathing him in deeply. Roman _always_ smells so good, _always._

“I…” Roman is yet to return his hug. Seth pulls back just slightly, to look into his eyes. They’re too blank for him to read.

“I’m not angry anymore.” Captivated by the blank stare, Seth allows his lips to stretch into a celestial smile. “You don’t have to be so scared,” he teases playfully pinching Roman’s side.

Silence.

“Roman?” his tone starts trembling, and he hasn’t an idea why.

“Can we talk, Seth?”

“Yes, yes.” He nods his head frantically. “Come in…Manuia? What are you doing here?” Seth has just noticed his presence, despite Manuia’s big form. Roman, who’s nearly as big, was hiding him.

Manuia smiles, “I just came with Roman. Besides, I haven’t seen this house before. Had to do it before—” Manuia cuts himself short. “It’s quite impressive, sweetheart.”

Seth shrugs as he guides both men inside the house, “It’s all on the boyfriend. I can’t take any credit. Can I get you anything to drink?”

“No,” it’s Manuia who answers. He looks at Roman with a look Seth can’t quite decipher. These two appear to be having their own private conversation, with Seth right in their presence. It’s uncomfortable, makes Seth feel uneasy. What is going on? “I’ll give the two of you some privacy.”

Seth looks Manuia, then at Roman. He raises his brows, noticing Roman has the Goyard briefcase he bought him on their one month anniversary. “Rome?” the sinking feeling in his stomach frightens him. Seth takes a seat on one of the couches, his hand immediately entwines in Roman’s when the royal settles next to him.

He shuffles even closer to Roman, craving so much closeness. It feels like he can’t get close enough though and he’s panicking. Why is he missing someone who’s sat right next to him? Seth crawls onto Roman’s lap this time, buries his face into the royal’s neck. The touch is barely there at first, but slowly, Roman’s arms surround him. And the hold becomes firmer, and firmer. There’s something in the way that Roman’s holding him that Seth can’t put his finger on but it breaks his heart. This is different from the other times.

They sit like that. Just the two of them. In the silence. For what feels like forever. And then another feather light touch touches Seth, his unruly hair this time. He shivers as Roman’s hand trails from the small of his back upwards, curling around his neck gently. He’s held in place while Roman breathes him in. It’s a strange analogy, but Seth’s reminded of an animal pet scenting it’s human. The way Roman’s breathing him in, as if he doesn’t want to forget how he smells like.

“You’re creeping me out,” Seth breathes, mentally cursing as his body reacts. He squirms in Roman’s lap, arching his back, body flushing and breath quickening. “M-More so than usual. What are you—doing?”

“I need to show you something,” Roman tells him instead. His tone is blank, and sparks a hint of fear within Seth.

“Okay,” the brunet nods his head. He allows Roman to place him beside him. Watches anxiously as the royal retrieves his laptop. It’s set on the coffee table. And then Roman’s typing something on the keyboard. Seth can’t see what it is, but he does notice how tense his boyfriend. Timidly, his hand rubs Roman’s shoulder. The royal stiffens, not helping Seth with his own anxiety. Kissing Roman’s cheek again, Seth revels in how the man’s beard tickles his lips. It’s grown so thick, and it’s getting longer. He loves it more than he can explain.

Roman gestures with his right hand towards the laptop screen, causing Seth to release a little sigh. The brunet bites his lip, focusing his attention on whatever it is Roman wants to show him. “N-No,” it comes out so small, strangled. “Row-man…what is this?” Seth feels himself grow sick, the images on the royal’s laptop are making him sick.

His tears fall faster, breath transitioning into unsteady puffs. The video footage on the screen plays for a few minutes before it changes, another one appearing, showing Seth’s day to day life spent at the mansion. There are videos where he’s changing, some are from when he’s sleeping. Heart beating fast, and eyes widening, he shuffles away from Roman when a video of him appears in the bathroom.

“No, no, no.” Confusion skitters across Seth’s face, his body trembling. “Row-man, no…” his blurry gaze narrows in on the man whose own eyes are rooted to the laptop screen. His heart is cracking as the feeling of knowing takes shape even as he recoils from the unwanted knowledge. Roman, Roman wouldn’t…

Mustering all the self-control he has given the current situation, Seth queries quietly. “What is this?”

Nothing. Roman is still focused on the laptop screen.

Seth bites his bottom lip, gaze flickering just in time to see footage from the day he found out about his pregnancy. It shows him lifting Roman’s sweater to inspect his belly. Nodding his head slowly to himself, Seth releases a quiet, “So this is how you knew? This is what you do to me, Roman?”

The bastard fails to respond. He groans, elbows on his knees with his head in his hands.

Attempting to wipe away the waterworks streaming down his face, Seth shakily forces himself to watch every footage showing on the screen. It keeps changing, showing some of his happiest moments. But they don’t bring that sense of happiness or fulfilment anymore. How can they, when they were taken without his knowledge? Without his approval. Seth feels violated instead. He doesn’t know this man sitting next to him.

“Oh god!” The queasiness returns, stronger than ever at the new footage. It’s…this is the footage from the new house. This house that Roman’s just bought him. A house that’s less than a week old. “Who—are y-you?” he manages to choke out. “Who are you and why are you doing this to me?” he queries quietly. The rollercoaster of emotions return, Seth feels like he’s falling apart.

Roman looks at him, his blank stare angers Seth. Before the brunet can help himself, his hand connects with Roman’s cheek. It resounds loudly in the quiet living room. Roman doesn’t move, not even a flinch. “I—was trying to protect you,” the quiet response comes after a long silence.

Seth shakes his head furiously, “Protect me? Protect me how, Roman?! By violating my rights. You think invading my privacy is protection?” getting up, Seth sways on shaky legs, flashing a painful expression. “Do you get a kick out of this? Does it please you that you can hurt me so easily? Is t-that why you’re _always_ hurting me? M-Maybe you stay up at n-night forming a new scheme on how to break me.”

Roman’s eyes snap to him, they water with unshed tears. “Hurting you is never my intention, Seth.”

“You’re lying and you know it.” Seth snaps. “Because you wouldn’t do this to me if you truly cared about me, Roman. Are you—punishing me? For—my past?”

“I don’t care about your past, Seth.” Roman whispers.

“Then why are you doing this to me?!” Seth hugs his belly—seeking comfort. His mind’s going into overdrive. He’s second guessing himself. Wracking his brains, desperately trying to figure out what he could’ve done to Roman to deserve this. Because he’s failing to understand—why Roman continuously stomps on his heart. “I don’t think I can do this anymore,” he spills without thought. “I-I can’t do this. I can’t. The other things I was trying to be patient for. Even when it’d hurt me, Row-man. Even when I was suffering on the inside, I still sacrificed because I love you. I gave you everything. I have nothing left. I know I said I wouldn’t leave you. But I’m not going to stand for this. I-I’m sorry. Loving you—is too much for me.”

A silence falls between them. Seth just stares. Stares as Roman groans, with his eyes closed. The brunet’s heart is beating fast, realization setting in at the words he’s just revealed. His eyes widen, as his sobs grow louder—wretched. God, he doesn’t want to do this. But Roman…Roman’s leaving him no choice. Not with the way he hurts him. Seth is beginning to think he’s incapable of loving, like Nikki had said. It’s the only explanation. The only one that seems logical to Seth. Because, despite what he said, he refuses to think that Roman finds pleasure in hurting him.

His hazy vision snaps to Roman when the royal stands up suddenly. The man walks towards him, it looks like he might fall any minute. His steps are shaky but he’s still so stoic. Seth stumbles backwards when Roman gets in his space, afraid that he might betray himself and turn on his word. He’s…done. Tired. And it’s tearing him apart but it has to be done.  

“I—understand. You’re free to go.”

Wind knocks out of his sails, Seth struggles for control. His eyes widen as the tears rain heavily. Agonized gasps slip past his parted lips. “What?”

Roman regards him blankly at first, stares like the son of a bitch he is as Seth fights for air. His mind in turmoil, teetering on the edge of insanity. The gaze transitions, darkening with what looks like remorse. “I...Seth, I-I have to let you go, man.” Roman grits out his words, almost as if compelled to.

“WHY?”

Roman backs away when Seth gets into his personal space. A myriad of emotions start flashing in his obsidian eyes. So visible for Seth to see, but the brunet can’t read them. His panic making it hard for him to think about anything other than what’s happening now. Is this it? Roman is…Roman’s letting him go. Just like that. No fighting. No pleading.

“You’re breaking up with me,” he tremulously whispers, refocusing his attention on Roman. “T-That’s why y-you showed me the f-footage. You wanted me to think that I was breaking up with you when it’s _you_ who’s doing that to me, Row-man…” Seth wobbles, futilely trying to blink the tears away. To search the truth of his suspicions. Because his mind is piecing the puzzles. Roman hasn’t ever shown him the camera footage before, probably out of fear. Or to deliberately keep him out of the loop, like he does a lot of things. He wouldn’t just show him this footage, knowing that there would be chances of Seth walking away. And for someone who's so obsessed with him, Roman is letting him go way too easily. He didn’t put up any fight, like he did at Elias’.

Roman stares blankly, with a set jaw. Seth knows what he’s saying.

“You’re breaking up with me,” Seth repeats, nodding his head to himself. “And you were tricking me into thinking that I was the one doing it. Who are you, Roman?”

“A disease.”

Chuckling humorlessly, Seth throws his hands in the air—frustrated, hurt, angry, desolated. “What does that even mean?”

The remorseful look returns, Roman’s jaw clenched painfully. “I—am a disease, alo—Seth. Right now, I can’t love you the way you deserve. Men like me…too toxic. I’m freeing you from all of it.”

Seth shakes his head furiously, he gets into Roman’s personal space, hitting his chest. “NO, SHUT THE FUCK UP! YOU DO NOT GET TO SAY THAT. YOU DON’T GET TO TELL ME THAT YOU’RE ‘FREEING’ ME! AFTER _EVERYTHING,_ ROMAN?” he hiccups, face contorted in obvious pain. “So this what you’re doing to me? You’re going to leave me? What about the times that I stayed, Row-man? When I had every reason to leave but still stayed. Because I-I thought we were partners. And that leaving wasn’t an option, not when it comes to us.”

Roman groans, releases no words. He removes his sweater, Seth has noticed that he does that a lot when he’s upset. The navy items falls to the ground, while Roman rubs his face tiredly. Emotional, red eyes meet Seth’s squarely, “This is what’s best for you, alofagia. I—am trying here. Give me some credit please, I’m putting you first. You told me, you told me love is about sacrifice. That’s all I’m trying to do.”

“By abandoning me? When you asked me not to do that to you?” Seth bites his lips, pulls his hair away from his face. “You are so selfish, Roman.”

“I’ll take that,” Roman nods his head.

Seth has no response for that. All he can do is cry and stare. Maintain the staring contest sparked between himself and Roman. He hates how not too long ago he’d been dead set on leaving Roman. And now he’s here, crying and foolishly hoping that he’ll be able to change the royal’s mind somehow. Make the man stay. Because Seth hasn’t an idea what to do without him. He really has given everything that he has, that he is to Roman. And he’s left with nothing. Nothing except maybe their connection—that won’t let him go. And he’d been right to fear it, to hate it—he wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for how deeply his connection to the royal runs.

“You’re the worst, you know what you’ve done to me.” Seth shakily gets the words out. Breathing still isn’t coming easy to him. He’s drowning in his love for Roman. Drowning in an endless sea of love for the one man who doesn’t deserve it. Roman’s proving it now, how he doesn’t his love. But Seth still loves him, he still wants Roman. Regardless of the hurt, and the tears, and the anger. Despite the regrets, he’s still the only one. Roman’s the only one who owns his heart. “I hate you for doing this to me,” the words stab his throat, and squash his heart painfully.

“I know,” another head nod, defeated this time. Roman gives him a once over, dark eyes unreadable. And then he goes on one knee, and then the other. “I never gave you this, Seth. So please allow me the opportunity. I—am sorry, for everything. From our initial meeting right down to this moment. I’m sorry for the disappearances, the camera footage—I’m sorry for…using your body as an escape.” Roman swallows hard. His cheeks are wet this time, it’s the second time that Seth is seeing him cry.

“Row-man,” Seth falls on his knees too. He cups Roman’s cheeks, making a groaning royal look him in the eyes. “Please don’t do this. Think about me, please.”

“I. Am,” Roman considers him with a soft look. “This is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life, Seth. But I have to do what’s best for you, man. I’m not doing anything right—all I am doing is hurting you.”

“Where is this coming from, Roman?” Seth searches his eyes. “If t-this is about Sunday, then I’m sorry. I was a-angry and I-I didn’t—”

“You were right. I am grateful for your honesty.”

Seth dismisses his words frantically, chest constricting. “What about our babies? _Roman…_ ”

No response. But Roman’s jaw tightens, his face going red like he’s holding in a scream. The expression on his face is a crazed look that Seth normally doesn’t like to see on Roman’s face because he can never get through to the man when he’s like this. Roman blinks his eyes rapidly, they are so lifeless. And he’s breathing heavy as he responds, “You’re all going to be well taken care of. I—promise.”

The shock slaps Seth right across the face for the millionth time tonight. “No! You’re not going to do this to me. I won’t allow you to, Roman!” stubbornly shaking his head, he struggles to his feet. His feet carry him to the kitchen where he finds Manuia. The big man’s seated at the island, with a pensive look on his face. Seth can tell by the look on his face that he’s known all along. Roman tells Manuia everything after all. Rushing to him, Seth grips the big man’s hoodie jacket. “Tell him, Manuia tell him I’m not doing this! He’s not going to leave me. Go talk to him for me. Get through to him. He listens to you, r-right? Please, talk to him for me.” He grips Manuia’s wrist, dragging him back to the living room where Roman’s now seated on the couch, his head in his hands. “Manuia’s going to talk some sense into you…” Seth gets out shakily, letting go of Manuia’s wrist and gesturing with his hand for the big man to go talk to Roman.

Manuia stands in place, right next to him.

“Manuia?” Seth gives him a desperate, inquisitive look. “No, no, no. Manuia, not you too. You are going to talk to him. Are you listening to me?!”

“I’m sorry, Seth.”

“FUCK YOU! DON’T GIVE ME THAT, TALK TO HIM. _PLEASE…_ ”

Manuia shakes his head, regarding him apologetically.

“Fine! I-I’m going to talk to Mama. You’re not going anywhere until I speak to your mother. You’re going to give me that, Roman. If you really love me, you’re going to give me that.”

“Seth…”

“No, you’re going to give me this. You’re going to put me first—in the way that I want you to. I know what’s best for me, you’re not going to decide that for me.”

Roman’s gaze alternates between Seth and Manuia. On Manuia though, the eye contact remains for far too long. They’re having one of their private conversations again. Seth hates the feeling of being left out but he can’t really do anything about it. He just hopes that Manuia’s knocking some sense into the royal’s thick skull.

And then a laugh echoes in the living room. It’s Roman’s laugh, but there’s no humor in it. Standing up the royal covers his face, groans loudly into his hands before revealing himself again. Despite the blank expression, Seth already knows what’s going to happen. “No, please Roman—don’t you dare say it.”

“You’re going back to Tampa. The chopper is arriving in thirty.” Without another Roman spins on his heels, he’s leaving.

Another slap of shock, this time it attacks every inch of Seth’s body, seeping into his bones. His heart thuds violently while Seth struggles not to break down. “You don’t get to break up with me—I'm the one doing it. Because you don’t deserve my love. Elias was right about you. You’re nothing but an inconsiderate asshole! And so was your girlfriend. You don’t deserve love, Roman.” That gives Roman a brief, tense pause before he shakily walks on. “I hope you’re bitter and alone all the days of your life. Men like you deserve to be alone. A-And I’ll tell our kids, how their father was a selfish asshole.” The words hurt to utter. But he’s so angry, desperately trying to cling on to the little bit of sanity he has left. But he can’t, anger is vulnerable after all. And he isn’t thinking, just spewing out whatever venom his mouth wants to let out in an act of desperation.

Seth breaks down when the front door shuts closed with a click. His knees buckle, and he’s finding it hard to breathe. A large pair of arms enwrap around him, catching him before he can fall completely to the ground. “Manuia…” he cries out as the big man adjusts them so that Seth’s sitting on his lap.

“I’m so sorry, Seth.”

“W-Why?” Seth shakes his head. “I-I don’t understand, I thought he—loved me.”

“He does,” Manuia coos gently. “But he’s hurting you too, Seth. He doesn’t mean to but he does. He told me…about a few things about your relationship. Right now, Roman can’t love you right Seth. So he’s putting you first, protecting you from himself. He wants you to be happy.”

Seth doesn’t know how to respond. He’s feeling so much, in so much pain, with his mind conjuring up so many thoughts. But he can’t help but disagree with Manuia on Roman wanting to be happy. If the royal wanted him to be happy he wouldn’t be doing this. Because the man is his happiness. Despite the storms, Roman is still is happiness. “I-I, he doesn’t how deep my love runs for him. He doesn’t know the depth of my love for him. He—wouldn’t do this if he did, Manuia. He wouldn’t break me this way if he did…”

Manuia sighs, kisses his messy hair. “It’s going to be okay, Seth…”

Seth wants to scream, to shout at Manuia that nothing’s going to be okay. He’s…alone. And his heart is breaking apart into a million pieces. He bites his lip, feeling Manuia’s fingers stroking his hair. Seth feels his eyelids get heavy, exhaustion crashing through him. He’s hiccuping with the tears still raining down his cheeks. Resting on Manuia’s chest more firmly, Seth gives into the exhaustion, hoping this will all be a terrible nightmare that he’ll wake up from.

* * *

 

Roman would say that he knows what agony feels like.

He’s been feeling it—emotionally, physically, mentally for the past decade. Agony is when he’d feel Tyler slipping through his fingers without an idea how to help him. Agony came as he stumbled into the woods one rainy night, to find his whole world lifeless deep into the forests. Agony tortured him when he found the bloody miniscule body—created in what he would like to think was love—next to the love of his life. Agony is waking up with a void that will nothing can ever fill all the days of his life.

Roman thought he knew what agony felt like.

But nothing has ever compared to what he’s feeling now. As he sits in some doctor’s office, staring straight ahead as she tries to get him to open up to her. Nothing compares to the agony he’s feeling as the memory of last night plays so vividly in his mind. Despite all his attempts at forgetting. Agony was having to let his whole world go. And how the void had been immediate, so much more vicious than when he lost Tyler and their child.

Losing Seth feels like dying a slow painful death. It’s an excruciating agony, with the air being snatched away from him slowly, torturously. Roman now knows what agony sounds like—it resembles the sound of Seth’s cries of despair. Agony was deciding to do what’s best for Seth, and being unselfish. Even if it meant killing himself in the process.

His hands wring together as his gazes refocuses on the small woman with honey blonde hair, and kind green eyes. She has a kind smile on her face, it’s encouraging. Roman releases a tremulous sigh. She’d asked him a question. Too complex for him to answer.

_Would you like to tell me what brings you in today?_

Roman had frowned at the question, he knows why he’s here but somehow getting the words to come out seems _difficult._ He has no clue why. And so he still stares at the doctor, clearing his throat while trying to come up with the correct words. Feeling suffocated, Roman removes his grey sweater—revealing bare skin. “I-I need your help…” shakily, the words come out after light years of silence. Nikki’s words ring like a broken record in his mind causing him to frown inscrutably, “Teach me how to—love, doctor.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeey, you guys!!! Okay so I want to apologize for taking what I, personally, think was forever to update. We have been experiencing load shedding, so that's partly one of the reasons. 
> 
> The second is, I was juggling writing this chapter and another story I am working on. It's been in my drafts since end of October and I thought I'd be done with this story by December, I guess I fooled myself. Anyway, I decided to start working on that one otherwise I'll never do it. I'll probably post it this week as the end is nigh on this story. 
> 
> Lastly, I remember the first time I posted thus story I said Seth has a rare gene that allows him and other carriers to fall pregnant. That hasn't changed but note that they also have the reproductive systems of both genders, and if it's a male, he will have the 'male parts' as well as an external opening behind his p***s to enable him to give birth. 
> 
> I know I said last, but this is really the last one, LOL. I am not a therapist, you guys. I'm just a simple ex-matriculant who will be studying Accounting next year. I don't want anyone coming at me--or telling me what a therapist's role is. I've watched many videos for research and self-education, because I really like learning new things. So hopefully, I've done this therapy thing a bit of justice. But every therapist is different (according to the therapists, themselves) so I'll stick with that. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!

_A starry night looms above, prettier than Seth’s seen in a long while. The sky, so alluringly dark has a velvet quality to it—thicker, somehow. And the stars, brilliant speckles of gold that are so enchantingly beautiful they look unreal. It’s magical, tonight is magical. From the crashing waves on this empty beach to the next to inaudible gentle flapping of the birds in the distance._

_Seth waits with bated breath, completely still, heart faltering, and body trembling. The eyes regarding him are celestial—so dark, so captivating. Seth loses himself in them, they swallow him whole—drowning him in an endless sea of emotion. And it’s so excessive, and so intense that he has to take a minute, look away, because no one’s supposed to feel this abundantly, this strongly._

_Roman’s fingers run gently down his spine, conversing with his skin. The touch ignites a desire in Seth’s soul—so deep, and so consuming that his body shudders. The entirety of his body heats up, blushing in a way that’s only ever reserved for Roman. “I swear you gave me some unknown love potion,” Roman’s voice is a warm whisper, deliciously intimate in his ear._

_Seth bites his lip, stifles a moan, with his eyes closed. This closeness is doing things to him. Roman is doing things to him. With the sound of his voice. With his sensual touches. With his presence. Seth can feel the heat radiating from his skin—it drives him insane. And Roman thinks that he’s the one who’s been given a love potion. “You’re just mocking me—you know the effect you have on me. I’m the one who got drugged with some sort of philter here, Roman.”_

_A chuckle this time, right into his ear. It’s just as intimate, so pure, for his ears only. “I believe that’s code for ‘I’m so in love with Roman. And I’ll worship his dick all the days of my life.’”_

_“Partly true,” Seth bites his lip to stifle any laughter when the gorgeous man in front of him waggles his dark brows suggestively. Taking a step closer to the royal, his hands finds Roman’s that are enwrapped around his waist. “But it’s mostly just ‘I’m so lucky to call you mine and to be called yours. And to call you the father of our children.’”_

_Roman studies him carefully, his hand caresses Seth’s cheek, fingers sliding into brunet hair. On instinct, Seth’s eyes close, his head leaning over Roman’s hand. His lips part open, little puffs of air leaving him. Cherished, he feels cherished with the way Roman’s touching him even as the grip on his hair tightens. “We both know who’s the lucky one, here. You’re so beautiful, Seth.”_

_Seth opens his eyes, releases a shuddered breath. The honesty of Roman’s words is so visible in his dark eyes. It brings back that blush again. Only he can do this. Only Roman can make him feel so desirable, with just a look. He has the ability to make Seth forget that his body isn’t as perfect as it used to be. With his stares, Roman can fuel the desire within Seth. “Thank you,” it’s whispered, almost…shy._

_Roman’s response is to take his face in both of his hands to kiss him. The kiss is far from gentle. It’s a possessive one. One that makes Seth feel so desirable. With each dominating glide, he feels alive—sexier. He feels a heat between his legs, it’s a fiery unquenchable desire. “I—shouldn’t have done that,” Roman pauses, aroused dark pupils looking into Seth’s, faces a few inches apart. It only fuels Seth’s desire, he can feel the intoxicating heat of Roman._

_“W-Why?” it’s breathless._

_“The kissing is supposed to happen afterwards,” Roman takes a few steps away from him. But even with the distance, the heat is still there. Seth thinks Roman might devour him any minute._

_“Well you better get started then. So we can get to the other things.”_

_Roman nods affirmative, doesn’t move from his position. He’s still looking at Seth intensely, claiming ownership of Seth’s soul with just a gaze. With the eye contact still forged, Roman reaches behind him, grabbing an elegant, intricately designed staff._

_“Seth Rollins, son of Katherine Rollins.” Roman draws a horizontal line on the rich sand, creating a separation between himself and Seth. “You are enchantingly beautiful. And have captured my heart with your kindness—it’s sexier than anything I’ve ever seen. You have captured me, all of me, without even trying. And I want to make an honest man out of you, Seth—officially to my ancestors. If you cross this line, everything that you know will be left behind. You’re going to leave everything that made you a Rollins behind. Every tie to your surname, everything that you were, that you are will stay behind and you’ll come here…” Roman gestures to where he’s standing. “To be an Anoa’i.”_

_“I want you to take your time, to think about this.” Roman says, more serious than Seth’s ever seen him. He looks so gorgeous, so authoritative—pacing purposefully, with one hand behind his back and the other holding onto the staff. A tapa cloth is secured around his waist, upper body completely bare much to Seth’s delight. He wouldn’t mind seeing Roman like this everyday—nothing makes him sexier than his pride of his heritage, of his roots. It’s all very appealing to Seth. Roman pauses briefly, to look him in the eyes—the gaze steals Seth’s every breath. His cheeks flush, stomach quivering. This is a King right in front of him—so much authority oozes from him. This man in front of him is his whole world. He’s the father of his kids. This is the love of his life._

_Slowly Seth steps forward, feet shaky._

_“I’m warning you, Seth. Think carefully about this, do not feel pressured or obliged. Because after this, there’s no turning back. Everything will change—everything.”_

_He’s never been that great a listener, at least when it comes to Roman. Seth pauses, just before he can cross the line, looks into Roman’s eyes. They are a symbol of his weakness—his kryptonite. Despite their infinite darkness, they still draw him in—the love is so clear in them. They lure out his vulnerability so easily, chasing away any hint of doubt of fear._

_“Everything?”_

_“Everything…” Roman’s voice peters out, his eyes flash with emotion. Wariness at the forefront though while Seth carefully, slowly, draws one foot forward. “Seth…” the warning returns, but Seth ignores it._

_“Everything changed the day we met, Roman.” Another foot forward. “For me, it changed the day I met you. I got to experience…love for the first time. And I’ve been experiencing it since—it never went away. It’s always there, inside me, even when you don’t deserve it.” A chuckle escapes him when Roman groans. “It’s true, you don’t always deserve my love Roman. But you do work for it, harder than should be allowed. And for that reason, I am doing this. Because I know you love me, and I love you too. I couldn’t stop myself if I tried. Besides, I’ve be an Anoa’i for a while now—your ancestors would take care of any bitches on my behalf. I’d just sit back and watch amusedly while they try to take my place. I run this shit daddy, your ancestors know that.”_

_Roman’s arms fold around his waist, Seth grips his man’s shoulders, holding back an aroused moan. Roman’s ever curious hands are sneakily trailing to his butt. “Is that so?” it’s amused, one big hand gently squeezing Seth’s ass cheek._

“’ _Tis so, daddy.”_

_Roman grips his face, his gaze reaching the deepest parts of Seth’s soul. “Thank you so much, alofagia. I will do my best to ensure you don’t regret your decision. I promise to love you, and our family. You all come first to me—I promise to take care of you.”_

_“I know you will, I—trust you, Roman.”_

_No response, instead a smile that has the ability to make the stars crumble to this man’s will._

_“I thought we were supposed to seal this whole thing with a kiss,” Seth gets out teasingly._

_Again no verbal response, just a soft press to Seth’s lips. It’s soft, and reassuring. With each slide against Roman’s tongue, Seth savors the feelings that come with being with Roman. The feeling of being safe. Of being cherished. Of being desired. How did he ever get so lucky?_

Seth wakes with a frightened start, releasing urgent gasps. _They hurt._ The air he’s releasing is fiery—it sears the walls of his lungs. Cold sweat cakes his scorching body and he, he…dear god, he doesn’t want to cry. The tears are brimming in his eyes, desperate to be set free. And he’s shaking, his whole body shudders on the small bed that feels so large. Seth blinks rapidly, feeling like everything is closing in on him. He turns the bedside lamp on—anything to make him feel lighter. And then his eyes betray him, freeing a lone tear. Then two, then three—until he’s a silent sobbing mess.

_Another dream._

Just as vivid as the other ones. _His scent._ Seth feels like it’s all around him, surrounding him. A choked sob emerges past, it’s frustrated. Why won’t Ro—

No.

_Don’t say his name._

Seth nods his head to himself, the selfish bastard doesn’t deserve to be thought of. Not after he, not after he…another choked sob, it stabs his throat. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!” he growls out lowly. His mind is betraying him, reminding him of every good memory that he’s ever shared with _him. It hurts._ Seth hugs himself, desperately craving the comfort. His eyes snap to his phone, and he bites his lip, to resist the urge to grab the flashy gadget. _Call him._ The yearning is so strong, and telling himself not to do it physically hurts him.

Do withdrawal symptoms feel this bad?

Like the entirety of you is falling apart. With your body shuddering so badly it feels like you’re having a seizure? Does it feel like a ton of bricks have been stuffed down your throat and you can barely breathe? Or like you’re going to explode because you just don’t know what to do with the pain? Seth grips his hair in frustration, the pain is too much for him to bear. It feels like he’s dying, slowly, painfully.

Shakily his hands snap to his neck, wanting to rip the offending tribal pendant around his neck off of him. It’s burning his skin, causing him to writhe in fiery torture—he can’t breathe right. And the tears raining down his cheeks are acidic. _Take it off._ Torn, with his hands still around his neck, Seth closes his eyes. Tries to convince himself why getting rid of the necklace would be a good idea. It was all lies, everything he’s ever shared with Roman had been a lie. And he really should take the pendant off, like he took off the Zulu bracelet—he doesn’t belong to Roman anymore. And the damn thing is probably responsible for the dreams as well. He should take it off. He should...

He can’t.

And Seth hates it. He hates it so much. The bastard still has a hold on him. And Seth hates to admit it but he knows, deep within, that he’ll never get rid of the royal bastard _._ Not fully. He’s even confessing his undying love for the son of a bitch in his fucking dreams. It’s all so stupid, he is so stupid. For falling for the bastard’s charms. For allowing himself to believe that he could ever be happy. He’d been naïve from the start. People like him don’t get happily-ever-after.

Seth laughs to himself, hysterically, mirthlessly. “So stupid…” he whispers in between his bitter chuckling. “So fucking _stupid._ ” What the hell had he been thinking? And why did he have to fool himself? Maybe, he’s just like Roman. Maybe he’s not meant for love. It hurts that he had to have his heart broken for him to realize that. But it’s still a lesson, and Seth, he doesn’t think he’ll ever try this whole ‘love’ thing out again. It’s not meant for him. The excruciating ache in his heart is not worth it.

Throwing his legs over the bed, Seth takes a deep breath, preparing himself to leave the bed. At 17 weeks, he’s finding that he loses his balance randomly. Even the way he walks is becoming weird, his sense of balance has taken a complete hit. It’s been happening for a week now, and at his last ultrasound, Dr. Baldwin advised him to work against his muscle memory and to walk slowly. He’s been trying to follow the advise, but he forgets that his belly resembles an extra large football sometimes.

The strangeness of the room he’s residing in hits him on his way to the bathroom. It’s been a week and three days but things still feel like a dream to him. Being in Tampa feels strange. Seth thinks he’ll never get used to it, partly because he feels like a failure. He failed in Miami, and now he’s come back here, with his tail in between his legs.

In the bathroom, he makes use of the toilet and then rinses his hands. Meeting his face on the mirror, Seth releases a shaky exhale, maybe Roman saw this ugliness looking back at him and came up with his petty excuses so that he could move on to thinner and better things. Maybe he wants Nikki back. It could be the reason that he hadn’t bothered to try and make things work. But of course Seth will never know, he’ll have to do with the excuses Roman gave to him.

After washing the blotchiness on his skin, Seth towels his face dry and exits the bathroom. The bedside clock reveals it’s just gone after 03:00 a.m. Great, that means he slept for only three hours. Sleep never comes easy lately, between the dreams and his restlessness, not to mention the urge to go to the toilet every other minute.

Afraid to go back to sleep, Seth decides that it wouldn’t be a bad idea if he ate something. Especially now, when he actually has an appetite. Xavier chides him often for not eating enough, says he needs to eat more for the growth of the babies, and to ensure that they’re as healthy as possible. Seth is trying, but sometimes it’s just not possible and he always ends up retching whatever food he’d been eating.

A baggy hoodie covers his body, and he puts on his slippers before exiting his room. In the hallway, soft murmurs can be heard coming from the direction of the kitchen. Seth’s stomach drops a bit, out of reluctance more than anything. Two days ago, he hadn’t heard the soft sounds coming from the kitchen until it was too late. He’d almost walked in on Xavier and Randy having sex. They hadn’t noticed his presence though and he’s grateful for it. The whole thing would’ve been too awkward.

If you’re wondering, yes, he’s staying at Randy and Xavier’s. After his…after what happened last Tuesday, with Roman breaking—

He’s staying with Randy and Xavier. There was a house waiting for him here, bought by _him._ Seth turned it down. You’d think that his first reason to declining the house would be out of skepticism that Roman would have some sort of spyware to monitor him. But no, Seth hadn’t been worried about that. He hadn’t even thought of it. He’s not sure what that says about him. But at the time, his only thought had been cutting any ties to the royal completely. He wants nothing to do with Roman. Not his houses. His bodyguards. His money. Seth wants _nothing_ to do with him.

The only thing he had agreed to is keeping his doctors. The doctors that Roman will have flown to Tampa every two weeks. But there are two extra doctors and nurses, where Randy works, available to him 24/7. It’s all thanks to Roman—again. He’d meant what he said when he told Seth that he and the babies would be well taken care of. But the bastard failed to realize that they need him too. His presence. Because the other things don’t matter, they never have. Love was all Seth ever expected from Roman. But maybe he’d been asking too much from a man who clearly isn’t capable of loving.

Xavier is singing quietly when Seth enters the kitchen. It’s a song Seth recognizes, Xavier has told him countless times that it’s one of his and Randy’s favorites. Chris Stapleton’s ‘Tennessee Whiskey’ plays softly in the kitchen. Randy stands right in the middle of the kitchen, pale blues looking down at a dancing Xavier, but Seth thinks there’s a hint of amusement in his penetrating gaze. They look so intimate, so cocooned in their love that Seth is almost hesitant to break their connection.

“Hey guys,” his hunger overpowers everything else, including this intimate moment.

Xavier’s eyes snap to him immediately, “Seth! What are you doing up so early?”

“Hungry,” Seth clears his throat, feeling out of place.

“You’re in luck,” Xavier pulls him in for a hug. He’s been getting those a lot lately, from both Xavier and Dean. All they know about the breakup is that Roman’s in the wrong. All assumptions that Dean had made, because he wouldn’t tell them anything and they refuse to believe that he could’ve ever done anything wrong to Roman. But Xavier, who can be so perceptive, seems to know that it somehow has to do with the night he asked for an abortion. He hasn’t said anything but Seth can always see it in his eyes. There’s a guilt there that Seth would rather he didn’t see.

“Randy’s going to make me Parmesan Chicken Tenders with marinara sauce. He’s a great cook, all you have to do is place your order and he’ll do it. Right, babe?”

Seth thinks that maybe Randy doesn’t want to. He isn’t exactly the kindest of men—always so intimidating. But Randy nods his head, the lopsided grin pulling at his lips weirds Seth out a bit. It resembles the smiles of those sadistic serial killers Seth watches documentaries on. He’s not exaggerating, or maybe he is, maybe it’s the insomnia getting to him.

“What will it be, Rollins?”

“I-I, the same as Xavier,” the words are pulled out difficulty. He’s still intimidated by the cold blue eyes fixed on him.

“Alright.” Randy nods, arms folded across his chest. “Why don’t you go to the living room while I do everything? I don’t want you standing for too long, doll, you know that.” Pulling Xavier to him, he wraps an arm around his waist, pressing his lips to the young man’s forehead. “You too, Rollins. Especially you, with that awkward penguin walk thing you do. It’s a wonder we haven’t found you resembling a corpse on the floor and unable to get up.”

Eh…..

“Um...” Seth hasn’t an idea what to say. How do you even respond to that?

Xavier’s giggling quietly, like the fool he is. “Come, Seth. We can watch City of God together. It’s supposed to be really good apparently.” A soft hand wraps around his wrist, dragging him out of the kitchen. Xavier puts the movie on and they settle on different couches. Seth ignores Xavier’s confused stare, when Randy comes back he’ll want to sit next to Xavier and Seth refuses to get on his bad side.

“This Benny guy is kinda cute.”

“He dies in the film.” The words escape Seth absently. He has watched this movie countless times. And it never gets old, it’s timeless—one of the greatest movies of all time in his opinion. Feeling Xavier’s eyes on him, Seth shifts his gaze from the movie. “I just, I’ve watched it a million times. Roman’s a huge fan of foreign films. And b-back home, he would make me—sorry.” Seth shakes his head, vision blurring. “I don’t know, he’s just on my—I mean, I was just remembering. This movie,  it’s one of his favorites. And I don’t why I-I am t-thinking about him. I-I should be trying to—forget him. It’s the only way I—can move on. I-I’m s-sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for, Seth. This wasn’t a fling you had with Roman. It meant something to you. Something deep. And you won’t get over him just like that. I don’t think relationships work like that. It’s okay to think about him, it’s okay to remember. You don’t have to feel bad about that.”

“I—know,” his nose scrunches up. Seth doesn’t want to cry. “It’s just, everything hurts Xavier. It hurts so badly. And thinking about him makes it worse. I can’t get rid of him. I-I can’t.”

“I wish I could tell you that it gets better. But I…don’t know. I-I’ve only ever had one relationship. The one thing I do know about love is that it hurts sometimes. There is no escaping that, it’s inevitable. But I also think that if two people are genuinely meant for each other then they find their way to each other again. I believe that nothing can keep them apart, not even death. And maybe that makes me naïve but it’s what I believe.” Xavier shrugs lightly. “And this may be my naivety speaking but I think that you and Roman are meant for each other. I believe that you’re, I don’t know—soul mates,” a tiny, hopeful smile lights up Xavier’s face. “I don’t care about what’s happening now. I know that you both love each other so much. Dean and I, we would see it every time we visited.”

“There are times where everything else would fade into nothing as soon as the two of you made eye contact. Like you both had eyes for each other and no one else. And I don’t know…the looks would be deeper, more meaningful. Not just hunger or lust or the other stuff. Just profundity, like he’s your entire universe. You two will find your way back together again.”

“He—doesn’t want me,” Seth blinks rapidly, praying for sanity. He’s so tired of crying, of falling apart but he’s teetering on that edge—he can feel it. “I love him but he doesn’t love me.”

“Did he say that?”

“He said he had to let me go. I—begged him, Xavier.”

“Did he tell you, Seth? Did Roman tell you that he’s not in love with you?”

“No,” Seth chokes out, burying his face into Xavier’s neck when the young man joins him. “But he still l-left me, Xavier. Even t-though I’d stayed, t-throughout e-everything. B-But he couldn’t do t-the s-same for m-me. _I begged him._ S-Stupid me—begged, a-and he still l-left m-me.”

“I don’t know what happened, babe. But I’m sure leaving you wasn’t an easy decision to come to. He loves you, Seth. And maybe he still has to figure out a few things. But I don’t believe it will change his love for you, Seth. I think it’s the unconditional type.”

Seth gets what Xavier is saying, he does. But the young man doesn’t understand. He will never understand what Seth is going through. Because even though Roman told him that what he did was for his best, it still doesn’t make what he did hurt any less. It doesn’t erase Seth’s internal suffering. It doesn’t erase the deep longing within Seth. Nor does it erase the fact that he can’t escape Roman, no matter how hard he tries. The royal’s always taking over his every thought. Seth thinks the man managed to crawl inside him—to the deepest parts of his soul. A part of Roman lives within him, inside him. There is no escape. Even in his dreams.  

“Sometimes, I-I am tempted t-to call him. To b-beg—again, to plead with h-him to reconsider. I-I don’t know what that s-says about me. A-About my p-pride. It feels like I—lost everything. E-Everything I am, I g-gave to him. Even my—pride.” Bitter, defeated laughs wrack Seth’s body. They transition, turning into heavy sobs of despair. “How could he—break me t-this way? I-I don’t get it. I-I don’t understand w-why h-he would—” they clog up, the rest of his words are strangled before he can get them out.

Xavier’s arms engulf him, soothing, reassuring. The comfort is not entirely welcomed. Not Xavier’s. Because only one person can soothe his pain. Only one person can take his pain away. And that person is the same one responsible for it. The one person Seth loves so much. So much more than he should.

“Doll, your food’s…” Randy trails off. “Is he crying…again?” the tone’s bewildered.

“Randall!” Xavier sounds embarrassed.

“I’m just saying, I already got your hormones to deal with. And I’m trying my best to make all of you happy here. Is it the food? Did it take too long?”

Seth sighs, moving out of hiding. “I-I’m fine, Randy.”

“Why don’t you eat your food before it gets cold?” Two stacked plates are placed on the coffee table. “Xavier…” Randy’s penetrating gaze is fixated on the dark skinned man, unwavering.

“You okay to sit by yourself?” Xavier looks at Seth, genuine concern on his face.

“He is.” Randy responds before Seth can say anything.

“Are you?” Xavier repeats, tone soft.

“I-I am,” Seth nods.

“I told you he’s fine, now get over here.” Randy again, with widespread arms this time. Xavier lifts off the couch to go and join his boyfriend. Seth notes how perfectly Xavier fits into Randy’s arms. His gaze refocuses on the movie when the two kiss—he can’t help it. There’s something weird about seeing these two loved up—the intimacy never leaves them. There’s a sacredness about their relationship, and it always feels too intimate for anyone’s eyes.

“You know where I come from tears are considered a weakness.”

It’s directed to him, Seth can feel Randy’s gaze boring into his skin. It makes him feel uncomfortable. And he doesn’t know how to respond to Randy’s attempts at having light conversation. So he says nothing, gaze fixed on the movie that he isn’t really watching.

“You would’ve been in a pile of your own blood by now. The fists would’ve come immediately you let your eyes quiver. You even get a beating for losing a fight. We don’t entertain—I mean weakness, it’s not an option.”

Seth isn’t sure if this is Randy’s way of encouraging him. The only thing the words do is send unpleasant shivers down his spine, the icy look in Randy’s eyes more chilling.

“He’s trying to say things will be fine.” Xavier seems to be a mind reader. “But he doesn’t get the crying, he hates it when I do that.”

Oh yes. Seth remembers Xavier telling them—Randy never cries. Never ever.

“I see,” a quiet, embarrassing laugh emerges from his lips. “My tears will be reserved for when I’m in the comfort of my room then. I promise.”

Randy snickers but says nothing.

For a while Seth tries his best to concentrate on the film that’s still playing. But Xavier’s giggles steal his attention, and he finds himself stealing a glance every now and then. Seth thinks he sees it now, when Xavier told him that Randy pretends not to be a romantic. The ruthless doctor’s massaging Xavier’s feet at the moment, and alternates doing that and kissing Xavier’s ankles softly. Xavier looks regal, probably feels spoiled, with his plate of food resting on his protruding belly. He’s showing a bit now, and Seth had been surprised to see how much weight he’s gained. It’s still not as much as him but it’s so clear that his previous weight loss had been stemming from the stress he’d been under back then. He’s glowing now, so beautiful that Seth can’t help but be a bit jealous sometimes.

Not too long ago, it was him in this position. It was him who had been glowing and happy and enjoying his pregnancy. And now he’s here, and the tables have turned. He doesn’t want to feel resentful towards Xavier or be jealous of his happiness. But he’s not going to lie, in moments like these, where Xavier and Randy flaunt their love, he can’t stop that miniscule twinge of jealousy that pokes at his heart. It always makes him feel guilty but he has no idea how to stop it.

“I-I think I’m going to go back to my room,” he shakily gets out. Things are heating up between his best friend and Randy. Seth won’t stay for it, he can already feel his heart breaking into a million pieces all over again. “Thank you for the food, Randy. I enjoyed it.”

Two sets of eyes look at him. The dark brown ones search his, before they settle on understanding. “I can join you if you like.”

Randy clears his throat at Xavier’s offer.

“It’s fine. I’ll be fine, I’ll probably fall asleep faster now anyway. I’m so full and all I want to do is sleep.”

“Have a good night then, Rollins.” Randy says way too quickly. He’s already pulling Xavier on top of him. His eyes look sinister.  

“Don’t mind him,” Xavier elbows Randy’s stomach. “I can join you, Randy won’t mind sleeping on his own. He’s treading on thin ice anyway.”

“No, Xavier don’t do that.” Seth manages a small laugh. “I’ll be fine, I promise you.”

Xavier scrutinizes him, for a very long time. He’s such a mother hen. And he sighs after what feels like forever, “Fine…sleep well, Seth. And I love you.”

“Love you too.”

The loneliness hits Seth immediately he enters his room again. It’s accompanied by so many other emotions. He’s scared, even though he has no reason to be. There’s anxiety, a sense of panic, with his heart thudding violently inside his heart. Seth feels like he might collapse any minute—he needs _something—familiarity._

Shakily walking to the closet, he scans the clothing filling the drawers. Roman’s hoodies and sweaters have a special drawer. Seth can’t see openly, not with the wet haziness cloaking his eyes. He grabs the first item he can get his hands on that belongs to Roman. It’s one of the recent sweaters that the royal left in _that_ house, a few days before _that_ night.

Seth hastily brings it to his nose, breathing deeply. It smells like home _._ Heady, fresh, masculine with a touch of cologne. Seth thinks if he smells deeply enough, then he can smell _him._ His favorite scent. _Him, all_ _of_ _him_. Stumbling back to the bed, the sweater is placed on a plump pillow, brought to his chest to be hugged tightly.

For now, he’ll give himself this. He’ll close his eyes, and imagine a world with no complications. A world that revolves around himself, Roman and their babies. Like in some of his dreams. Seth grants himself that illusion, allows it to capture him wholly as it lulls him back to sleep.

* * *

 

“Roman, I’m happy to see you here again.” Dr. Carson greets kindly immediately Roman enters her office. For someone who spends her time listening to her clients’ depressing stories, Roman has never seen the small woman looking anything other than extremely positive. But then again, he is always her first client, at 09:30 in the morning. A lot of people tend to be energetic in the mornings.

“Likewise doctor,” a part of him means it. Slowly but surely he’s getting used to this therapy thing, not fully, but he’s said a few words and that’s an improvement. Dr. Carson tells him everything is an improvement, it doesn’t matter how small or unimportant it may seem.

“Do you want to take a seat?”

Roman nods, sitting on the couch across from her. The coloring book he brought with him is placed on the coffee table. He utilizes it sometimes, when he can’t really express how he’s feeling. He paints and draws too, and brings his art supplies on days he feels like doing here that. The painting he used to do when he was younger, but after Tyler’s death he stopped. Inspiration left him, after Tyler died, a lot of things left him.

He’s still not sure how Dr. Carson lured it out of him but she advised him to buy a few art supplies and to bring it to one of their sessions. During their session, Roman had found himself gravitating towards it. All he remembers was being messed up with paint after their session, and Dr. Carson’s bright smile. He opens up easier when he paints, it helps him out of his frozen state, so he’s been painting or drawing or coloring ever since. The coloring book embarrasses him a bit though, he’s a grown man and he has to rely on coloring books filled with ducks and animals to better express his feelings.

“How have you been since our last session? Anything you need to get out of the way?”

Before he can respond to her, Roman unbuttons his dress shirt. This place always makes him feel hot somehow, not in an uncomfortable way, but he’s always forced to remove his upper garment as soon as he enters. Dr. Carson seems to understand, she never complains. And she’s a professional, not once have her eyes ever wandered to his body suggestively.

“OK,” Roman answers quietly.

Dr. Carson nods her head, “Can you elaborate? What does OK mean?”

“It means I’m alive and that’s enough,” the words spill without thought.

“Enough?”

“There’s people dying right this instant, doc. A bad day is still better than death.”

“Does that mean you’re having a bad day?”

Roman’s jaw tightens, the urge to stand up creeping in on him. He resists, wringing his hands together uncomfortably. This morning he was woken up by a bad dream. So bad that it was causing an agonizing physical pain to his body. And if it’s intention had been to kill his soul, it had. Today he’s feeling ominous, can’t shake off the dark void stabbing into his soul. Unable to verbally reply, Roman nods his head stiffly.

“Okay, can you tell me why?”

“I-I just, uh…” Roman’s words clog up. He’s trying to open up about his dreams but they’re the most hardest to talk about. He feels like they reveal so many things, and will lead to so many questions. Questions he’s not ready to answer. The minutes go by, Dr. Carson’s smile is still patient, but encouraging. It has Roman snatching the coloring book off the coffee table. It’s nearly fully colored, the coloring book. Roman scans the pages, finding one he likes. It’s a barn, housing many different animals. Different colored pencils are shakily retrieved from the coffee table.  

“I—had a dream.” He reveals, picking out a black colored pencil to work on the horse’s body.

“Can you tell me what about?”

“Everyone,” Roman responds, trying to keep his fingers steady while continuing to color.

“Who’s everyone, Roman?”

Roman hesitates a bit, closing his eyes briefly. He can see the images from his dream right in his eyes. _It was just a dream, a bad dream,_ he reminds himself. “Tyler, Nikki, and—Seth.” The air is snatched from his lungs at the mention of Seth. More viciously than it had been at the mention of Tyler. It’s like wishing for death and being granted it. Only, it’s slower, more excruciating, more torturous. It’s a daily, never ending pain.

“What was it about, Roman? Do you think you could tell me?”

Tensing, Roman simply groans, his hand tightening around the black colored pencil.

“A bad dream?” Dr. Carson tries again.

Roman nods, abandoning the black color for something lighter. Blue. Why hadn’t he thought of using blue? It’s a bright color, beautiful. It’s not dark, and ominous and threatening.

“But you’re not ready to talk about it?”

Roman looks her in the eyes, nodding again.

“It’s okay, we can always revisit it.” Dr. Carson says gently. Roman searches her eyes, looks for any hints of irritation or impatience. He finds nothing. And maybe this is the reason that he’s still here, nearly a month later. This doctor understands him, knows when to push and when to slow down. She’s so different from the therapist he was forced to go to as a teenager. “I want you to write it down though, in your journal. The next time you come, please bring your journal. With your permission, I’ll go through it—see what the dream was about. I know how difficult it is for you to talk about your dreams, so the journal tends to help.”

Another head nod from Roman.

“Okay, so what we’re going to do for the remainder of our session is pick up from where we left off last week. We talked about your relationship with your parents. And we didn’t have enough time to talk about your relationship with your cousins. But it sounded like the twins are your best friends.”

“They are,” Roman shrugs. He grabs another colored pencil, emerald this time, it reminds him of his mother. He works on coloring the horse’s eyes. “We’re the same age. We all grew up together. When we were younger, people thought we were triplets cause we looked so alike. Jimmy’s got a daughter now, Leilani, she’s five years old. He’s happy, he has a family of his own. And Jey, he doesn’t really believe in being tied down. But he has a boyfriend now. I never thought I’d see the day.”

Dr. Carson’s chuckles resonate in her office. “Really?”

“Jey doesn’t believe in love. Since we were teenagers a-after…” Roman clears his throat. “We were both in love with the same person. After—Tyler died, I-I thought I moved on while he remained behind. I guess I was—wrong, doctor. He’s got everything going on for him. A-And I—am here…” Roman’s eyebrows furrow. “I—can’t love.”

“Why do you say that?”

“My girl—Nikki says I-I can’t. I think m-maybe she’s…right?” The brows furrow even more, touching. It’s the war going on inside his head that’s causing it. Pausing briefly to look Dr. Carson in the eyes, Roman shakily gets out. “My p-past doesn’t allow me to—love.”

“I want you to think about those that make you happy—you’ve mentioned your family, so we’ll work with them. What are your first thoughts when you think about your parents?”

“I—love them,” it’s spilled without them again.

“And what sort of emotions are brought forward?”

“Love, Joy, Pride, Respect,” Roman sighs. “Too many of them, doc.”

“What’s the dominating emotion? The one you feel so strongly about when you think about your family?”

“Love.”

“Okay, now let’s try to move away from family. Let’s look at your intimate relationships—the most recent one, with Seth. What are your first thoughts when it comes to Seth?”

“I—didn’t want to hurt him, because I…I-I love him.”

“And the dominating emotion?”

Roman groans, heart beating far too loudly. “Love,” he grits out, he doesn’t know why the word burns his tongue.

“And do you still have a past? With all the love you’re talking about, you still have a past?”

“Yes.”

“Then you’ve just proved that you’re capable of loving, Roman. Sometimes humans inadvertently use their relationships to try and work through their struggles, it doesn’t mean that they’re incapable of loving, Roman. You are able to love. The only difference is that the love is coming from a place that’s unhealthy and unsafe. And that creates issues and fights in relationships to the point that you find yourself unable to maintain a healthy relationship.”

Roman nods his head. “I—broke up with him. To save him from m-me. Nikki told me to protect him—from me.”

“Do you feel like you’ve done the right thing?”

That gives Roman a pause. His heart tells him yes, immediately. But sometimes he doubts it. It’s nearing a month and everyday is a struggle. It’s a struggle not to call Seth. It’s a struggle waking up to face the world day in, day out—with the deep absence in his soul. He’s even struggled with going back to their bedroom. There are too many memories there, the sonogram pictures are there. The pain is so much that Roman had decided to move back to his old bedroom on the second day after Seth left Miami.

“Yes,” the word is gritted out.

“Why?”

Roman blinks rapidly, “I didn’t deserve—him.” He’s not ready to tell Dr. Carson about the full extent of his relationship with Seth. He’s not ready to share the other things. She will judge him, she will. Maybe she won’t understand.

“Why do you say that, Roman?”

Silence.

“Will you write it down in your journal for me? We can also come back to this.”

Hesitantly, he nods his head.

“Alright. Our session’s almost up but I want you to know that it’s okay to have doubts sometimes, about whether you doing the right thing or not. Just like it’s completely okay that you felt that the relationship had to end. What you’re doing is taking care of yourself, it’s the reason that you were able to put Seth first too. Because you realized that mentally, you’re not in a place where you can have this relationship. And it’s the reason that you’re here. To take care of yourself, to deal with what needs dealing with. And to process through the past. It won’t get in the way of your future if you deal with it now.”

“I—hear you.”

“’Before you go, I do have a task for you. I want us to establish what you want to work on. Goals, I suppose. What you want to get out of these sessions. Which issues you feel need tackling. That way we have a game plan intact, and we’re more organized to help reach your goals. You can compile a list for me, however long you want it to be, and it doesn’t have to be neat or too orderly.” The last bit is said teasingly.

Roman laughs a little, he’s a neat freak through and through. He can’t do much about it. “Alright, doc.” He follows her to the door.

“You’re a great colorist by the way.”

“Are you out to inflate my ego today, Dr. Carson?”

“We both know it skyrockets when you leave my office, Roman. I should add that to my profession—‘ego booster.’” Dr. Carson chuckles. “I’ll see you on Friday, Roman. Don’t hesitate to call if you have any queries.”

Bidding the good doctor goodbye, Roman goes to find Manuia in the waiting room. “Manuia…” his voice trails off when his bodyguard looks up. The strained smile Manuia gives him is unwelcomed. “Is anything the matter?” he asks.

“We’ll discuss it at the work. Let’s go.”

Roman frowns, ready to put up a fight but decides against it. This isn’t the place or the time. He follows Manuia outside, and maybe it’s paranoia but he swears that everyone is looking at them as they make their way to the parking lot. The stares are not normal stares, it feels like there’s something deeper to them. He can’t decipher what they mean though and tries his best to ignore them. He’s been trying not to lose his cool easily lately. He thinks about the repercussions first.

In the car, he opens the glovebox, taking out his phone. “Wow…” he whispers. “Thirty missed calls?”

“I wouldn’t return any of those calls right now if I were you.”

Roman arches an eyebrow scrutinizing Manuia. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means what I said, don’t return of the calls.”

“They’re from family, and a few business associates. Why shouldn’t I call back? Do you know something I don’t, Manuia?”

“I’ll tell you at the office.” Manuia turns the radio on, effectively ending their conversation. Roman fights against his stubborn nature. He won’t put up a fight, they’re fifteen minutes away from their offices anyway.

“Alright, brother.”

****

“Manuia, what is going on?” Roman asks as soon as they enter the elevator reserved for himself. Now he knows that something’s the matter because as soon as Manuia parked their car, they’d greeted the guards in the parking lot, and the looks in the guards’ eyes…

Roman can’t accurately describe them, it was a mixture of emotions. Judgement, scrutinization, embarrassment, some of their eyes held hostility. But they were all cordial towards him, probably out of fear of losing their jobs.

The looks followed them inside the Anoa’i Investments building. From the young male at the reception desk to the janitors. Now Roman likes to consider himself a very confident man, but he hates observers. He doesn’t appreciate any spotlight, it’s the reason he tries to keep out of the public eye as much as possible. He values his privacy so much, and he is finding it a bit unsettling that all his employees are watching him like hawkers. The young male at the reception desk on the ground floor had even blushed, furiously looking away from him in obvious embarrassment at being caught.

The lift doors slide open on the thirtieth floor. And Roman has to keep from snapping when it’s Bayley who he catches blushing furiously this time. What the fuck is going on? “Bayley, I trust you had a lovely weekend…” He starts politely.

“Yes S-Sir, I mean Roman.” She can’t even maintain eye contact. “Yours?”

“Fine,” it was hell, she doesn’t need to know that though.

“Any messages?”

“I’ll send you an e-mail. Most are different media tabloids.”

“Don’t. I’m not interested.”

Manuia clears his throat, “Why don’t we go to your office? We need to talk.”

“Alright. Have a great day Bayley,” Roman gives her a small smile.

“You too, S-Sir. I mean Roman, Roman.” Bayley face-palms. “José fucking Christmas lights!” the words are whispered, probably meant for Bayley’s ears only but Manuia and himself both catch them. They chuckle, loudly.

The office smells heavenly when they enter. There’s coffee at his desk, along with freshly baked panipopo. “I’m ravenous,” Roman says just as his stomach growls loud, agreeing with him.

“It’s a good thing Bayley got you your own box then.”

“That you’ll still grab two buns from.”

“True,” Manuia cackles while Roman shakes his head. “Alright, so I have something to show you. I just need you to promise me that you won’t overreact.”

Overreact? How can he overreact at something he hasn’t seen?

“Does it have to do with—Seth?” Getting out _that_ name is always torture.

“Indirectly.”

Roman raises an eyebrow at that, feeling a sense of panic simmering beneath him. “What’s that supposed to mean? “

“I can’t tell you until you promise not to overreact.”

“I promise.” Manuia doesn’t seem to believe him. He probably shouldn’t, because like Roman’s said before, he hasn’t seen what it is that Manuia wants to show him. And maybe he’ll overreact, if it’s bad he’ll overreact.

“Fine, just don’t overreact. I’m serious, Leati.” Manuia takes out his phone, hands it to him. “I know you don’t have time for tabloid garbage so you wouldn’t have seen these.”

_THE DARK SIDE OF LANUOLAN MONARCHY: PRINCE ROMAN_

It’s trashy publication, the headline in big, bold letters. Roman suppresses a snort, he doesn’t know why but he doesn’t bother reading the article. “There’s more?” he asks, looking at a careful Manuia.

“Yes. They’re all saved on my phone.”

Roman nods, lips pursing as he scrutinizes every misguided headline.

_THE BIG REVEAL: LANUOLAN PRINCE’S PERSONAL TROUBLES RUN DEEP AND WE'RE DIGGING THEM ALL OUT FOR YOU._

_WOLF IN SHEEP’S CLOTHING? INSIDE SOURCE SPILLS BEANS INTO PRINCE ROMAN’S VERY PRIVATE LIFE._

_Dark Secrets of Lanuola’s Beloved Crown Prince Revealed._

“Who is Christian Grey?” Roman cocks an eyebrow, brown eyes investigating.

Manuia looks taken aback, “What?”

“It says here, ‘Our source has compared the Crown Prince’s distorted tendencies to those of Christian Grey. Details of—” blindsided by what else is written in the article, Roman’s grip on Manuia’s phone tightens. “That only happened once!” His blood pressure is reaching dangerous levels. The suffocating feeling is returning, slowly, he unbuttons his shirt—discarding Manuia’s phone carelessly.

“Roman?” Manuia grabs his phone.

Roman stands, roughly pushing at his chair. He turns away from Manuia, meeting Miami’s cityscape. “ _Nikki_ …” Roman pinches the bridge of his nose, trying to drive away any volatile emotions. Everything disappears from view as his eyes shut tightly. He’s shaking violently, from the need to something— _anything._

“It says here that you used to inspect her body.”

“Once—she was hiding something from me. I thought maybe it was a—pregnancy. She wasn’t staying with me, so I—had to know. It turns out she was planning on breaking up with me instead,” every word is gritted out, Roman still hasn’t opened his eyes. Nor is anger dissipating, his breath comes out harsh and uneven. “This, that worthless, money loving, piece of _scum_ is exaggerating the whole story—it was once Manuia, I promise.”

Manuia’s sigh fills the room, “That doesn’t matter brother. You were still wrong.”

Roman disregards Manuia, his eyes open, blazing as they find his bodyguard. “All these publications, ask Tamina if it’s possible to purchase all their companies. I want them shut down.”  

Manuia’s eyes widen, “Roman, you’re more mature than that, I know you are. Look all this will go away. Give it a few days, a month at most. It will go away, I promise. Don’t let your emotions get the best of you—emotional intelligence, remember? You discussed it with Dr. Carson.”

“THEY ARE TARNISHING MY NAME, MANUIA! I—” Roman shakes his head furiously, hightailing it to his cabinet. The bottle of whisky is already in his hand when it’s snatched from him. “ _Manuia…_ ” it’s said lowly.

“You’re better than this. You’re not going to turn to alcohol. Draw, paint, color, hell go to work out your frustrations on the 25th floor, I’ll join you. But you’re not turning to alcohol.”

“FUCK!” Roman growls loudly, falling to the vacant couch in his office. “I-I don’t understand this woman, Manuia. She has a boyfriend, she moved on. She fucking _dumped_ me so what the hell does she want? I—did what she w-wanted. I-I let him go, Manuia. I let my whole world go and she’s still not happy.” Tears burn the back of his eyes. Roman won’t let them out. Not at the office, not in public. But his heart’s ripping into pieces all over again. There’s a knife stuck in his throat. “What should I do, Manu?”

Manuia sighs, placing a comforting hand on Roman’s shoulder. “I think that maybe it’s time to contact…her spouse. Have him intervene.”

Roman pauses, trying to rein in his emotions. It’s proving hard when all that’s stuck in his head are those falsely written articles, maybe some of the things are true but Nikki had no right to do that. She had no right to invite people to meddle in his affairs like that. Especially when she know how much he values his privacy. Roman knows that the woman’s trying to hurt him, this is proof enough. But he doesn’t get why. Why won’t she move on? “Maybe you’re right,” he rubs his forehead. It’s time that he contacted John, instruct him to keep his bitch on a leash. He doesn’t want to find himself doing something he’ll regret, not when it comes to her.

“I am.” Manuia says firmly.

Someone else invades Roman’s mind, thinking about him hurts. Seth is not someone that’s easily evadable. And Roman’s blood pressure spikes up to dangerous levels all over again. “What about—” his throat tightens. Mentioning Seth’s name comes so difficulty, he can’t finish what he wanted to say. The ache snatches the breath from his lungs. “I don’t want him to be—uncomfortable. What if they go after him?”

“He wants nothing to do with you.”

The knife stuck in his heart twists and turns viciously.

“I—know that, Manuia.” His jaw locks tightly.

“I d-didn’t mean it in a bad way brother. I just—I can go to Tampa. I’ll stay at a hotel, and…” Manuia rubs his face frustratedly. The conflict is so visible in his eyes. “I—can’t believe t-that I am suggesting this. But maybe I could,” an agonized groan. “Maybe I can track his movements. From a distance, ensure that he’s safe.”

“Now you know where I was coming from.”

“Partly, you said it yourself, your intentions weren’t all about his safety. It was also about you and what happened to—Tyler.”

“Manuia…”

“It’s true and you know it, Roman. This is why it’s so important for you to be brave during therapy. You need to process everything that happened in the past, move past it.”

Roman nods, tensely, brown eyes swimming. “I—am trying.”

“And I am so proud of you. Everyone in the family is.”

“You should leave now. The sooner you get to Tampa, the better I’ll feel. I—can’t give him everything he needs. But I can try—he’ll need the security.”

Manuia smiles tightly, “I’ll have Bobby fly the chopper here. You’ll take the car back home.”

“Manuia…” Roman calls out when Manuia’s at the door. “You never did tell me who this Christian Grey is.”   

Manuia guffaws loudly. Roman has no idea what’s funny. “You really don’t know?”

“No,” Roman shakes his head.

“He’s a kinky fucker specializing in kinky fuckery.” The door closes after that, leaving Roman confused. He could always google this man but decides against it—he’s not really interested. More serious matters grip his thoughts.

He grabs his phone, thinking about returning a few of his missed calls. His mother primarily. But he’s scared, wary of returning any calls to her. Because he doesn’t know what to expect. What if she’s angry at him? Or even worse, disappointed? He won’t be able to stand the condemnation he’s sure he’ll hear in her voice. Roman decides to go the cowardly route. He won’t attend to any phone calls until he’s ready.

Scrolling through his contacts, Roman hesitates when he reaches Cody’s name. He knows what he’s dying to do, but he promised to not do this. He promised himself, when he saw the look of condemnation in Manuia’s eyes. But right now, he feels like there’s no other way. Seth, Seth needs protecting. From the dangers of the world. From the paparazzi that don’t know when to stop. And Roman can offer him that. He made a promise, to ensure that Seth’s well taken care of. And even though Seth won’t talk to him and won’t have anything to do with him, Roman still needs to ensure that he’s safe.

“Cody, I need your help.” He says immediately his call is answered. Roman ignores the sinking feeling in his stomach, and the chiding deep in his conscious. All he’s doing is protecting the ones he loves.

* * *

 

“I’m not sure how to say this, Seth. I…don’t want to sound insensitive. I know that lately there’s been a—lot of things that have been happening in your life.” Seth tenses at Dr. Baldwin’s words, not wanting to cry. He’s been doing it for over a month. And he’s been trying not to lately but the tears fall sometimes, especially at night. “And it’s understandable that you would be under immense stress, with your private life being splashed out in the tabloids. But I have to be honest here, Seth.”

“Your pregnancy is high risk, I stress that in almost all our meetings. There are too many complications associated with it. You’re currently under so much stress, and that isn’t good for the babies. Studies have shown that extreme stress can affect the babies’ health—some of those include an 80% greater risk of stillbirth. Other complications include premature birth, that you’re already at risk for. And I’ll remind you that multiples develop slower than a singleton would as the pregnancy progresses.”

“Your stress levels are very high, Seth. You’re also not eating enough, not for five people. I have drawn up a diet plan for you, and I’ll ask that you try to eat. Even when you don’t feel like eating. I need you to take care of _yourself_. Whenever it feels like everything is weighing down on you, take a step back, relax. Do deep-breathing exercises. Yoga is available. Exercise, but not too much though—nothing too strenuous. Try going to bed early. If the stress is still overwhelming talk to me, I know a few therapists who will better help you cope with everyday challenges. Or seek support from those around you—your  friends, your family.”

Seth nods, guilt poking at him. He’s being so selfish right now, allowing his problems to affect his children. He’s failing them, by choosing their father over them. He’s being selfish, like Roman. “I-I am sorry, doctor.” He speaks softly, tears falling unbidden.

“No, no, no. Seth, I don’t want you to cry. I understand, the last couple of weeks haven’t been easy on you. All I am asking is that you try. You’re 20 weeks now, and it’s so amazing. You’re at the 50% mark of carrying the babies. And we’re trying to keep you pregnant for as long as possible, ideally until 34 weeks or more if possible. But we have to overcome each week first. Beginning of 24 weeks, the odds of survival will be so much more better so that’s our first goal, alright?”

Seth nods his head.

“And we’re working together here. We’re both getting into agreement that we’ll reach and surpass our first goal?”

Another head nod.

“Good,” Dr. Baldwin smiles softly. “Like I told you earlier, your cervix is still completely closed so that’s a good thing. But I’ll still start you on a low dose of Procardia, just to keep your uterus and the contractions you spoke of at bay.”

“Thank you so much, doctor.” Seth takes a deep breath, preparing himself to leave the examination table. It’s always so hard now, he seriously resembles an obese whale. He’s never seen one but the thought makes him laugh through his tears. What he really means is that he needs a wheelchair. The oversized penguin walk thingy Randy mentioned a few weeks ago, it’s become worse. Seth waddles around the Orton’s home, awkward and taking up so much space. He feels better that Xavier’s like him though, well almost. At 29 weeks, Xavier is a hormonal mess. It freaks Seth out sometimes, his mood swings, until he realizes that he’s the same too. Only he’s trapped in a constant state of depression.

Last week Monday, he woke up to the news of Roman’s private life being splashed all over the tabloids. He saw the whole thing by chance, on a gossip show. It’s Xavier’s favorite, and Seth is sure the young man hadn’t been aware until one of the hosts mentioned Roman. Initially, Seth had been in a frozen state. Everything had just halted. While his heart fought against breaking into a million pieces—for the billionth time.

And when his senses had returned, Seth had merely left the living room. In his bedroom, he let out his pain again. His sobs had lasted forever. But even as he cried, he would be lying if he said Roman’s wellbeing hadn’t been on his mind. He’s always worried for him. And to have had his laundry bared for the whole world to see probably wasn’t easy on him.

The media has been speculating about him too lately. His breakup with Roman being the centre of attention. There are pictures of himself and Roman splattered on every newspaper, every magazine, in every grocery store, at least that’s what Dean told him. Seth hasn’t made any public appearances since the chaos began. He wouldn’t have today, but he had to. The antenatal checkups are very important and he wouldn’t miss them for anything. He’s mildly glad though, since their whole lives have been pushed into the spotlight, Seth hasn’t received any irritating calls from the media. This is not like that first time, when he had to shut his phone to prevent the calls. There’s nothing at all, just a bit of peace.

“I’ll see you in two weeks, Seth.” Dr. Baldwin breaks him out of his thoughts.

Seth blinks, carefully lifting off the bed. “Thank you so much, doctor.”

“Your diet plan…” Dr. Baldwin hands him a small file that Seth stores neatly in his duffel bag. “Please don’t forget what we discussed—about stress and eating. I want you to try.”

_It’s so hard._

Nodding affirmative, Seth shakes hands with the greying doctor, bidding him farewell. He puts on his sunglasses, they’re not that effective a disguise but only the workers of the hospital seemed to recognize him. They haven’t tried anything, and for that he’s grateful. It’s Randy’s off day today and he’s fawning over Xavier at home. It leaves Seth enough time to go shopping with Dean who is planning Xavier’s baby shower. Seth thinks it’s finally hit him, that Xavier isn’t very far from giving birth. That he’ll be a mother to a beautiful baby girl really soon.

He finds Dean looking bored as ever in the waiting room, “Psst,” he whispers.

Dean’s blues find him, relief dancing in them. “Finally! I was getting worried, thinking that you were giving birth in there or something. Do these things always take so long? I was being tortured by first time parents here. With their stupid questions and their ‘oh, I’m sure you’re so glad your husband's expecting.’” Dean makes a disgusted face. “Why can’t people get that you can escort your friend to things like these? I’m not even wearing a ring for fuck's sake. And to assume that I’m married to you…” a disgusted snort this time. “Ew, ew, ew!”

“I’m not that ugly,” Seth frowns, following Dean to the parking lot.

“No one said you’re ugly, princess. All I’m saying is, you’re so much of a friend to me that you’re practically my brother. I can’t imagine impregnating my own fucking brother.”

“I—wouldn’t even want to have sex with you. Can we drop this topic, I don’t need any mental images.” Seth feels himself shake with nausea.

“Gladly,” Dean grins. “So moving on, I spoke to my Swiss zaddy daddy. He says it’s okay if we have the baby shower at his house. This morning he said to me, ‘What’s mine is yours, sweetheart, this house too.’ And all I could think was he has no idea how he just fucked up. I’m going to be the effing rich host to every effing party known to mankind. Starting with this Saturday night, we’re having a night in. Since you guys are boring and don’t drink alcohol anymore, I’ll be a good friend and google boring nonalcoholic drinks. But we’re having ourselves some fun. Manicures, pedis, facials—you name it. I’ll bribe Toni with sex to allow me a few masseurs from his spa. It’s going to be the shit, princess.”

“I don’t doubt it,” Seth smiles. “Anything to relax my mind, body and soul. Dr. Baldwin says I’m under too much stress.”

“All thanks to that no good, ethereal looking, nine course meal of sexy deliciousness, eleven inch dick owning, Adonis personified—”

“If that’s your way of insulting him, then you’re failing—dismally.”

“Gah, it’s just…why did he have to be such a dickhead?!”

Seth bites his bottom lip, blinking the blurriness away. “I-I…wish I knew.”

Dean stops at a red light, sparing him a sympathetic glance. “You’re going to get over this, Seth. It may not be now but you will. And then you’re going to have those beautiful humans growing inside you and be one sexy ass mama. Once you’re at that level, you’re going to make sure that your jerk ass boyfriend regrets leaving you. You’re going to make him want you back. He’ll come crawling, trust me. That is what you’re going to do. There’s no other option.”

Seth releases a small laugh, wiping away a trespassing tear. “Aye man,” its said quietly.

“Atta boy. Now follow me out of this old ass car, let’s see if we can find anything worth buying for my first daughter.” Dean drapes an arm around his shoulders as they enter a Target. “I already miss the Maserati so much,” Dean says randomly while they scan the isles.

“I don’t,” Seth replies honestly. “The only thing I miss is maybe myself before I met him. Back when I thought I wasn’t meant for love. It was easier, I’d never experienced it before so I couldn’t crave it. But now, there’s always an absence. A month later, and I still can’t let him go. The dreams make sure that I know who I—belong t-to.”

“Are you still refusing to tell me what they’re about?”

“Too personal,” they are, and Seth wants to protect them. To keep them sacred. They’re one of the few things that he allows to connect him to Roman. He gave up on fighting them. How do you stop something taking place in your dreams anyway? They vary, his dreams, sometimes they are memories of himself and Roman. Sometimes they are completely new, teasing, as if giving him a glimpse into the future. Sometimes he’s in a huge, simplistically decorated round house with pebble floors and a thatch roof. Research told him that the house is called a fale, popular in Samoa but among the Lanuolans too.

And there are times where he’s not alone in the house, finding himself with close to twenty people in the house with him. These people strangely look like Roman’s people, same bodily characteristics, others of a darker skin tone but they still remind him of the Lanuolan people. In his dreams, they fuss over him, draping him in jewelry, traditional Lanuolan attire and a headdress. Most of the time, the dreams end with them guiding him into Roman’s arms. Seth has tried not to think too much about what the dreams mean. He tries not to allow them to spark that glimmer of hope.

But the dreams aren’t always good, there are bad ones too, that he hasn’t the energy to discuss. He doesn’t want to dampen his already low spirits. Dean is taking pictures of the potential items they will buy for Xavier. “Don’t forget to add in the Crib sheets. And a diaper bag—I read that there are emergency ones too. Xav can keep it in Randy’s car for when he’s on an errand.”

“Not a bad idea,” Dean smirks, looking over his shoulder. “Did he tell you if they’ve come up with a name yet?”

“Yeah.” Seth waddles to Dean, ignoring the sympathetic looks of a woman carrying an infant. The look in the woman’s hazel eyes says, ‘You look like you might pop any minute.’ If she only knew that he’s still got a few good weeks to go before that happens. And he’s not even ready. “Xavier likes the name Nylah Rose, thinks it goes nice with Orton. Randy, I think he’s still scared of being a father. He doesn’t speak much about the baby, but I’ve heard him whisper Nylah to Xavier’s stomach a few times. And then he always smiles afterwards, creeping me out. He reminds me of a serial killer,” the last part is spilled without thought.

Dean titters like a fool, convulsing too. “Someone’s been watching too many serial killer documentaries.”

“Whatever,” Seth rolls his eyes. “Let’s pass a McDonald’s, I am craving their nuggets.”

“If you’ll allow me to pass at Chick-fil-A.”

“Scrap McDonald’s then, I’ll get the nuggets with you.”

“Fine by me,” Dean leads them to the exit.

And then chaos ensues.

It begins with a bunch of people appearing out of nowhere. Seth knows what they’re here for, he’s been down this road before. He clings to Dean, loathing the sound of flashing cameras, of predatory ruckus. “Dean…” he whispers, panic building inside his body.

The predators get closer, hungry for something, anything.

“Mr. Rollins, could you give us an insight into your relationship with Prince Roman?”

“Was he abusive towards you, Seth?” comes another question, it’s a surprise he hears it. These people are speaking over each other, too loud.

“Mr. Rollins, is that why you broke up?”

“Are you carrying his kids?”

Seth tries to concentrate on Dean guiding him to their car, but it’s proving impossible. They have no security, and these people are heartless. All they care about is their selling their damn publications. They’re not considerate of him, he’s sure the panic is showing clearly on his face. And he’s thinking about the babies, these people are suffocating him. Seth starts to hiccup, feeling a heaviness in his eyelids. He doesn’t want to cry but goddamit these people are making it hard for him.  

“Seth, Seth! Our source gave us insights into Prince Roman’s sexual life. Were you his sex slave?”

“You’re obviously not going to be the consort to the future King of Lanuola. Do you have any plans now that the fairytale is finally over?”

“How far along are you, Seth?”

“Seth! Please give us insight—”

He’s trembling now, badly. Mind in a frozen state, distantly hearing Dean futilely try to push the vultures away. And he doesn’t know where exactly the feeling comes from, but it’s so miniscule, and it’s happiness. That he won’t have to deal with this anymore. Once all this dies down, he can just go back to being a commoner again. This isn’t what he signed up for, it’s not what he wants. These people’s questions hurt.

So many of them hurt, bringing up his past and the things he desperately wants to forget. These people are only adding to his pain. The tears threaten to fall but Seth won’t allow them to. It’s so hard, but he fights to keep his emotions in check, shakily looking for his sunglasses inside his sweatpants. He can’t even find them.

“Touch him or his friend again, and I will ensure that you’re all jobless before the end of the day. It’s a promise.” A voice that Seth remembers growls. It’s booming, oozing so much authority despite it’s owner usually being a Dean replica.

Manuia.

The crowd backtracks, pushing at each other to make way for the big man. Breathing comes a bit easier again, and Seth releases a shaky, relieved sigh when Manuia finally appears wearing one of his all black tailored suits. “Under Prince Roman’s instruction, you’re all to leave this man alone. If you fail to do that, well you will be joining the long list of the jobless in America. Under no circumstances are you to intimidate or make Seth Rollins feel unsafe. It’s an order.”

Low murmurs this time, the crowd dissipating hesitantly.  

Seth’s heart rate spikes again when Manuia comes to stand in front of him. “Hey.” It’s said softly.

Seth doesn’t know how to respond, it’s been a month. He’s scared.

“Follow me,” Manuia’s arm entwined with his.

“I am still fucking here, you know? I’ve just played Seth’s super effective bodyguard. I demand some recognition. Out here risking my life and shit…”

Seth tries to stifle a laugh while Manuia releases them all. His loud guffaws echo in the almost empty parking area. “I always knew you were a man of many talents.”

Dean shrugs, “All natural, I was born like that.”

Manuia is still laughing, nodding his head amusedly.

“I—look, I’m sorry Seth but I have to do this.” Dean says once they reach Manuia’s Bentley. It’s a model Seth doesn’t recognize. Maybe it’s rented. It still smells brand new though. “What the fuck is wrong with that gorgeous son of an ethereal deity bitch? Does he know what my friend’s going through? Seth cries for him, Manuia! Do you know how it kills me, as his best friend, to watch him go through this pain? He cries so fucking much over a guy who doesn’t deserve his—”

“Dean please,” Seth starts softly. If Dean continues this way…

“No! Since the jerk ass isn’t available, we’ll have to do with his bodyguard. He needs to know, princess. What you’re going through because of that heartless bastard who led you on—”

“Dean…” Seth grips his friend’s shoulder, pulling him away from a calm Manuia. “I—haven’t really t-told you much. I will, j-just not now. Why don’t you wait in the car for me? I just want to tell Manuia something.” Manuia’s eyebrow lifts at that but he says nothing.

“No, nuh-uh. I don’t think so.”

“Please Dean for me, I just want to ask Manuia something. Besides he isn’t Roman, it’s not fair that he should be punished for someone else’s sins.”

That seems to get through to Dean’s thick skull. He sighs exaggeratedly, rolling his eyes. “ _Fine,_ ” it’s drawn out. Dean surprises him by kissing Manuia’s cheek before leaving in the direction of their car.

“Seth…” Manuia starts immediately Dean is out of view.

“What are you doing here?”

“Visiting Tampa, it’s been a while, haha.” Too stilted and too forced. Manuia’s browns are dancing in deceptive amusement.

“You know what I mean, Manuia. What are you doing _here_ —at this store? How did you know that I’d be here?”

Manuia turns into a mute.

Seth rolls his eyes, causing the tears to fall. “Let me guess, he sent you here, didn’t he?”

Manuia doesn’t need to respond, his whole expression screams guilty.

“Great! Just great,” Seth turns on his heels, looking up at the sky in frustration. “So he let me go but not really?” Seth can’t keep the disdain out of his voice. The audacity of Roman to do this. After he, after the heartbreak he put Seth through. “What does he want this time?” the brunet asks, facing Manuia, lips trembling. “I—don’t have anything else to give him. Tell him, tell him he took everything.”

“I…he’s just trying to look out for you, Seth.”

“Unfortunately for him, it doesn’t work that way.” Seth snorts, heart beating fast. “He can’t dump me and decide that he cares. I—please tell him to leave me be. You leave me be. All you’re doing is h-hurting m-me, like him. Please, Manuia—I’m so tired of crying.”

“I...am sorry. But I can’t do—that, Seth. Look at what just happened. Who knows what would’ve happened if I—hadn’t arrived? We’re just trying to protect—”

“I DON’T WANT ANYTHING FROM HIM! NOTHING. HOW—” Seth chokes on a sob, rubbing his belly when he feels an unfamiliar sensation there. “What, what will it take for you to understand, Manuia?” He speaks slower, agonizing pain stabbing his rib and back. _It really hurts._ He fights to get some air into his lungs.

“Seth?”

“Don’t touch me!” Seth grits out, crouching difficultly as he struggles for air. He doesn’t know why he’s crying but the tears fall quicker as he backtracks from Manuia. Another attempt at touching him is rebuked with a weak slap to Manuia’s cheek. Or is it Manuia? He can’t be sure. Seth is seeing double.

“Seth? Listen to me, you’re hyperventilating, you need to calm down.”

That voice reaches his ears, but it also doesn’t. It sounds so far away. Seth can hardly hear anything over the pounding of blood rushing to his ears. Breathing becomes a daunting task, especially with the pain on his ribs. And something weird is happening inside his belly too, his stomach is flipping as if he’s on a rollercoaster. Seth can’t handle it, the sensations are too much, coming from everywhere. Sharp pain explodes down his lower back again.

Seth cries out in agony, he can’t prevent it. He can’t speak, and he’s shakily rubbing his side while whimpering in pain. “My b-babies…” it hurts to speak. He doesn’t try to fight Manuia who responds quickly, lifting him into his arms. Seth fights for consciousness as Manuia starts moving. He’s not sure where they’re going. His mind is not working enough for him to pause and ask. Pain rips through him for the millionth time, stealing his breath and knocking his lights out.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	38. Chapter 38

“Manuia…” Roman calls out as soon as he exits his car. His feet work faster than his brain, rushing to the front of St. Nichol’s Memorial Hospital doors. “Where is he? Is he—fine? What are his doctors saying? What about the—kids?” The panic grips him in it’s claws, guilt overpowering any other emotion. This is all his fault. Maybe if he hadn’t ever entertained his feelings for Seth, maybe if he’d let the man go from the beginning then…then there would be no drama, no confusion, regrets. There would be no heartache.

“Roman wait…you can’t just barge in there. Let’s talk first.” Manuia grips his wrist, preventing him from entering the sliding doors.

Roman has to suppress the urge to scream. To do _something_ , because right now, he’s tempted to punch Manuia in the face. And it’s wrong of him, but all he wants to do is get to Seth. What will happen once he gets to him, he doesn’t know. But he has to get to him. _He has to._ “Manuia…” he starts, voice laced with a dark warning, and roughly pulling out of Manuia’s touch.

“No, you’re not going to see him until we talk. He’s fast asleep anyway, Dr. Kumar gave him something to help him relax.”

Roman nods his head, but his mind is on the verge of exploding. He spins on his heels, kicking away the grime in his path. The urge to scream his lungs out gets stronger, hurting his insides. His veins are popping, body shaking and teeth gritted painfully. His eyes find the darkened skies littered with golden speckles but Roman can’t see the stars. He can’t see anything past the darkness. Guilt slaps him viciously across his cheek causing him to howl out in agony.

“Roman,” it’s whispered, sounds from afar.

“I should’ve never asked him to stay in Miami. I remember he—begged me, pleaded with me to not make him regret his decision. I told him I’d try my best…and this is the best I’ve given him…” a humorless chuckle penetrates the dull, lifeless air. When Roman turns to face Manuia, it’s done with a Cheshire cat grin on his face and a hazy gaze. “This is what I’ve done to him.”

Manuia bites his lip, face contorted in pain. “Dr. Kumar revealed that he’s under intense emotional stress, and that his body is exhausted. I wasn’t really listening to medical jargon but I did hear her say that the stress alters hormonal composition in the carrier and can have a detrimental effect on the babies. Including behavioral disorders.”

“All my fault,” Roman nods dejectedly. “I—don’t, I just want what’s best for him. I, this is all for his protection, for his wellbeing. This is all wrong, Manuia. He’s not supposed to be unhappy.”

Manuia snorts, “Because being blindsided with a breakup after what you thought was a long term, serious relationship is so easy to get over. So easy, in fact, that you’re all smiles and positive in less than a fucking month!”

“That’s not what I’m saying. I am hurt too, this isn’t easy for me as well, Manuia. Everyday I wake up with a void that’s deeper than I had before I met Seth. He’s my whole world, Manuia, and I had to release him, even as it shred me apart. I—don’t expect you to understand, you wouldn’t know what it’s like. All I want for him is to be happy, that’s all I want.”

“You’re his happiness.”

“I’m also his pain,” Roman whispers, utter desolation ripping through him.

That gives Manuia a pause, but he had been on the verge of saying something. Most likely another snarky comment. His eyes soften slightly, head lifted to the skies. “This is all one big mess,” he says after a long quiet.

“I know, I’m living in it.”

“Look, his friends are in there. The pregnant one, he’s a bit emotional at the moment. His spouse says it’s the hormones…I believe him. And then there’s the other one who doesn’t need a reason to be crazy, he just always is. Right now, he’s crazier than he usually is. I don’t know how he’ll react to seeing your face. He’s been cursing you to hell and back. I—just be ready.”

Perhaps Manuia’s words are supposed to make him hesitant, afraid even, but complete remorse and guilt are still the dominant emotions that Roman’s going through. Anxiety too, stemming from the prospect of seeing Seth after so long. His heart is a violent explosion, with the rest of his body not fairing any better. Roman thinks his feet will fail him any minute as he follows after Manuia inside the hospital.

He’s too distracted to hear what Manuia says to the nurse they pass on the way to Seth’s hospital room.

“You! You fucking _asshole_!” the constantly crazy one that Manuia spoke of launches at him immediately they are in sight. Dean comes at him, gripping the front of his dress shirt. “This. Is. All. Your. Fault!” Dean’s in his face as he enunciates each word. “What did you do to my best friend?”

“Dean, please calm down…” it’s the other one, the pregnant one, whispering his words in between his sobs.

“NO! Xavier, honey, he’s responsible for this. Our best friend’s lying on some hospital bed because of this heartless son of a jackass. What is your problem, huh? Why are you so heartless? How could you just, just… _dump_ him like that? H-He’s pregnant with your kids. YOU ARE SO SELFISH!”

Roman doesn’t respond, just looks down at an angry Dean. If he’s supposed to come up with an explanation, he doesn’t have any. Not for Dean. He doesn’t expect the man to understand. Like Manuia doesn’t understand. Like Naomi—who has developed a grudge against him—doesn’t understand. Like the media don’t understand, and continue with assumptions generated from Nikki’s point of view. And like most of his family don’t understand. No one understands, sometimes he doesn’t himself.

His lack of response seems to frustrate Dean, whose face contorts in pain, matching the color of his auburn hair. The man’s shaking, his grip on Roman’s crisp white shirt tightening. The atmosphere is tense, mercurial emotions floating in the hallway just outside the waiting room.

“Aren’t you going—”

“Mr. Anoa’i, you’re here.” Dr. Kumar’s voice rings with startling clarity, nearly successfully breaking the tense mood.

“You’re going to let go of my shirt now—please.” The last word is added as an afterthought, courteously.

For a while, Dean looks ready to argue. He’s a fireball, looking to launch at the subject of his wrath. But a hand on his shoulder from a sobbing Xavier seems to calm him down—mildly. “I’m not done with you.” The words are laced with venomous promise.

Roman merely nods okay. He deserves this, he won’t deny Dean the right to take out his frustrations on him. “I would be disappointed if you were.” He says honestly, turning to meet an uncomfortable Dr. Kumar. “Is he going to be okay, Doc? What about our—the babies?”

Dr. Kumar beckons him closer so that they’re speaking in private and he obliges. She looks tired, and part of Roman hopes it’s because she had to drive all the way from Miami to Tampa and not something else. Tamina’s using the chopper for business reasons, to sort out the mess that Nikki created, whose plan—hurtful as it was—mostly seemed to backfire. Roman isn’t sure what it is exactly about kink that seems to fascinate people, but majority of the public seem to think he enjoys it. And maybe he does, to a certain degree but he wouldn’t consider what Nikki revealed to the press about him something he enjoys.

It all comes from an unhealthy place, where his only intention is to fight his demons using Seth’s body. Which in turn brings Seth nothing but pain. He wonders how they would react if they truly knew. He’d probably have most of them running for the hills. What he’s trying to get at is that inappropriate things are being said about him by the public. Provocative things, that Bayley shows him sometimes. Roman is always left disgusted afterwards, so he’s kindly asked her to never show him anything ‘Daddy Roman’ and ‘Master Roman’ related ever again.

“He’s going to be fine,” Dr. Kumar brings him out of his thoughts. “But he needs to learn how to better cope with his stress. I know things haven’t been easy on both of you but it’s imperative that he tries to control it. He’s 20 weeks along, and isn’t that far from having the babies. He needs to be more careful.”

“And the babies?” Roman has to know.

“The babies are fine, thankfully. I performed an ultrasound, everything appears to be normal—heartbeats, and everything. They’re all cooped up in there, giving Seth a hard time with their constant moving. All of them are so active. Manuia mentioned that Seth had been clutching his lower back right before he fainted. That’s probably due to the muscles present in the abdominal region moving around and rearranging themselves to suit Seth’s changed structure. Most people rarely ever complain about it being painful but there have been some cases in which the rearrangement causes lower back pain. I guess Seth is one of the unlucky ones.”

“I see…so it’s the stress that led to the fainting?”

“Most likely,” Dr. Kumar’s facial expression contorts into a frown. “I was told about the media’s behavior. It caused him to panic, which is very understandable. The emotional pressure was too much than he could bare.”

Roman bites the inside of his cheek, attempting to chase away the guilt. _If you’d let him go,_ his mind keeps yelling at him. And it’s so frustrating, agitating. He has no right to feel that way but he does. “I—am sorry, Doc.” He rubs his face tiredly.

Dr. Kumar’s expression morphs into confusion. He knows that she doesn’t know what he’s apologizing for,  but he feels he needs to say it. To somewhat atone for his sins. “It’s okay. Like I said, he’s going to be fine.”

“Is it possible to see him?”

“He’s asleep but I don’t see why not.”

“Thank you.”

They pass Seth’s visitors on the way to the his hospital room. The pregnant one is giving him the stinky eye with his red-rimmed eyes. His spouse observes blankly, like he always does. Manuia looks indifferent. And Dean, if looks could kill Roman would be one with his ancestors by now.

“You shouldn’t even be allowed in there you moron! Thank your fucking whatever you believe in that I’m not lunatic crazy. You don’t want to see my lunatic side! Asshole.”

Does he ever stop?

“I know, and I am thankful Dean.”

“Shut the fuck up! You’re not sweet talking me that easily. I’ll still fuck you up.”

“Ambrose, so help me god, if _you_ don’t shut the fuck up…” Randy comes to his aid.

“Oh please! What will you—”

Roman escapes with Dr. Kumar, tuning out Dean’s grating voice. He’s not interested in anyone but Seth at the moment.

The light in this room is a soft orange, warm and inviting. Hospitals have never been a place of comfort for Roman, they’ve always made him uneasy--restless. Their uncomfortable smells only adding to his discomfort. But this room, it has a coziness about it, even it’s smells. It has Roman releasing a quiet pleased hum, he wants Seth to be comfortable as possible.

Speaking of Seth…

Roman’s heart falters, breaks down and stumbles into a number of emotions. He hasn’t seen his whole world in a full month. And it hasn’t been easy, everyday he wakes up he has to remind himself why it had to be done. He’s been trying to live with the pain, to bear it. But sometimes it’s impossible. And his world, that is already in shambles, shatters what is already in ruins. He’s always left with nothing, nothing but a hollowness so deep it brings the pain back again. It’s a recurring ominosity he finds himself trapped in. There is no escape.

“I’ll leave the two of you alone. I’ll talk to the other nurses Mr. Anoa’i. You’re allowed to stay the night if you want to.”

He wants to, but maybe he isn’t worthy of the privilege. “Thank you so much, Doc.”

Dr. Kumar smiles, nods, and walks out.

Alone in the hospital room, all the comfort that Roman had associated with it disappears. Like a switch suddenly turning off. Too many emotions smack him in the face, taunting him, accusing, blaming. _Your fault._ And who is he to refute what is the truth?

“I—am so sorry, alofagia.” Roman whispers dejectedly, stumbling to Seth’s bed. Seth looks so beautiful, peaceful. The orange light illuminates his golden skin, transforming him into cosmic beauty. His thick eyelashes rest perfectly against flawless tan skin. They compliment his thick eyebrows so beautifully, and Roman’s briefly taken to the times Seth and himself would argue on who has the best eyebrows. Back when they were…back then, Seth would tell him all the time that his eyebrows could rival a supermodel’s. And Roman would snort, and tell him no, because Seth has the most beautiful eyebrows he’s ever seen. Thick, brown, and shaped as if they were made for someone as perfect as him.  

Before he can stop himself, Roman runs the back of his hand down Seth’s skin, frowning at the numerous lines marring Seth’s forehead. He can see it, the stress that Dr. Kumar was talking about. Despite Seth’s natural beauty, the strain is so visible on his features.

Roman goes to grab one of the chairs in the room, dragging it back to settle next to Seth’s bed. As soon as he settles on the surprisingly comfortable chair, he grips Seth’s hand in his, kissing his knuckles softly—routinely. “I—love you, Seth.” It’s a whisper again, to not disturb Seth. Because he doesn’t want to rob Seth of some much needed sleep. The bags under the brunet’s eyes reveal so much more than words ever could. “More than you could ever know. You’re my whole world—you’re everything. But I’m still not what’s good for you. And you deserve better—you _can_ do better. You just need to try really hard.”

When Roman kisses Seth’s knuckles again, he can taste the saltiness of his tears. They’re silent, around Seth he wants them to be silent. Slumping forward, Roman holds Seth’s hand in both his hands, they swallow his much smaller one whole. And another memory teases his brain again, back to the night Seth confirmed his pregnancy and how Seth had told him they’d need to attend prenatal classes because his hands were far too big.

The silence falls around them for what feels like forever, the only sound coming from the beeping of the heart monitor. Roman’s gaze flickers between Seth’s face and his prominent belly bump. He makes big look so beautiful, makes his large belly look gorgeous—just as he is. Roman resists the urge to touch it. He’s not worthy.

“Alofagia?” he whispers, heart beating fast as he feels Seth’s fingers twitch beneath his touch. Roman’s gaze snaps to Seth whose brows are slowly pulling together, face twitching. Roman think maybe he’s on the verge of waking up, and he should probably leave now. He should, he should. But Roman can’t. Not yet. He’s being selfish again, wants to savor this. If only for a few minutes.

“Row-man…” _that voice_ sounds so angelic—beautiful. “You’re here?”

Roman’s mouth opens and closes silently, dumbfounded.

“Why did you leave me?”

The pain makes it impossible for Roman to answer.

“Stay with me, _please_ …” Roman nods his head, hastily he removes his shoes, his socks and then he reluctantly joins Seth on the hospital bed. He knows that this is what Seth wants. And Roman, it’s what he wants too. If only for one night. Seth moves slowly to lie on his side, so that they’re both looking at each other. Seth’s arms stretch over his body, hugging tightly. And his head moves to lay on Roman’s chest.

Soft, fresh, vanilla orchid, sweet and crisp. The smell of Seth touches his nose. Roman inhales deeply, eyes closed. Familiarity. _He’s home_. Roman’s arms encircle Seth’s body, not too tightly, because of his current condition. “I’ve missed you so much, alofagia,” he confesses, throat clogging up.

“I missed you too. You and your cheesiness, your possessiveness, your neat freak tendencies, your obsessiveness. I’ve missed you so much Roman.”

Roman chuckles this time, it’s soft in the silent room. “I thought you hated me for that.”

“I could never hate you, Roman. You’re the love of my life, the father of my kids. And we’re so sad when you’re away from us. Kalauni cries for you the most, with all that kicking to my pelvis to show displeasure.”

“Alofagia?” it’s said in confusion, to a brunet who looks like he’ll fall back asleep any minute.

“Don’t leave this time. I want to wake up next to you in the morning.”

Roman places a gentle kiss to Seth’s forehead, guilt plaguing him. He has no response to Seth’s request.

Seth grips his hand, placing it on his protruding belly. “The babies can hear their father. They’re going insane in there…” are his last words, muttered tearfully. He goes back to sleep, with his face hiding in Roman’s neck.  

Roman sighs, tentatively rubbing Seth’s belly. He can’t really feel anything, Seth’s tummy feels strangely hard and soft at the same time to him. But he believes Seth, that the babies can hear him. “Hello, little ones…” he starts. “I a-am your…I mean that I-I a-am your…father.” The wetness cloaks his vision again, shards of glass ripping into his throat. “You all have to be patient with your mother okay? Things aren’t easy for him at the moment, it’s all my fault. But I need you to help him feel better. He needs all of you as much you need him. Be strong for him, okay?”

No response. Of course.

“And I—do love you, all of you so very much. I won’t ever stop, I promise. I just need some—time, I can’t be here for you right now. I can’t be what you need and I—am sorry for my s-selfishness.”

Roman carefully brings Seth closer to him, kissing his mop of unruly hair. “You’re my whole world, Seth. My whole world…” Seth’s breath, warm but crisp, fans his neck. He’s whispering in his sleep again, calling Roman’s name and whispering words of affection. “I—love you too,” Roman returns to the sleeping man, kissing parted lips softly. He wipes Seth’s drool away, closes his eyes and for a few hours, allows himself to have this.

* * *

 

Seth wakes up in a dimly lit room, it’s unfamiliar; and disoriented—he wonders what he’s doing here. He blinks a little, listening to the beeping of the heart monitor…he’s in a hospital.  What is he doing here?

With his question comes the memory of the exhausting events that happened a day ago. Seth whimpers, biting his lips to stop any embarrassing tears. If only he could go back to sleep forever. No, he rebukes the thought immediately. Despite what’s happening, he has a reason to wake up every single morning. His babies are so important and he wouldn’t want to leave them parentless. On the table beside him is a glass of water, Seth shakily grabs the glass, bringing it to his lips. It cools his dry throat, even helps to calm his nerves a bit.

Where is everyone?

Without thinking much, Seth hits the call button and tries to find a comfortable to sit in. He wriggles around, stretching whatever limbs want to cooperate at the moment. It’s still not comfortable, and Seth gives up eventually, resigning himself to the discomfort. The babies are probably trying to get comfortable in there. He hopes so, because yesterday, just before everything went dark, he remembers feeling weird flutters in his belly.

Dean’s the first one to burst inside, followed by a number of people. A displeased nurse, a waddling Xavier, cool, calm and collected Randy, and an impassive Manuia. When his eyes collide with Manuia’s, Seth drops eye contact—staring at his hands.

“Mr. Anoa’i—”

“Rollins,” Seth corrects, he hates it when they do that. Call him Roman’s surname. But he knows he can’t blame her, Dr. Kumar and Dr. Baldwin still confuse his last name sometimes as well.

The middle-aged nurse looks taken aback, but still she nods politely. “How are you feeling?”

“Hungry.”

Laughs, from everyone except an indifferent Randy.

“I can go get you your favorite Popeye’s real quick.” Dean offers.

“Not in the morning, you won’t.” the nurse chides. “There’s a cafeteria here or alternatively a store two blocks away. Get him something filling but healthy. But you can treat him with a few donuts. I hear they’re his favorite.”

“Yes ma’am,” Dean obliges too easily. “I’ll be back in a jiffy, princess. I love you, okay?”

“I love you too, Dean.” Seth awkwardly accepts his hug. “If you could bring me some Avocado toast, I’d be more than grateful.”

“Anything for my princess.”

Seth rolls his eyes, smiling softly. “Hey guys.” He greets quietly once Dean’s left.  

Xavier waddles to him, his eyes are red and puffy. He’s biting on his bottom lip so hard, clearly trying to prevent his tears. “I hate you so much for worrying me so badly.”

“I’m sorry,” Seth whispers. Their hug is even more awkward, they are both big as fuck. “I—didn’t mean to.”

“Never do that again, Seth. I thought the collapsing thing was limited to only myself.”

“Oh no, we can’t have that. We’re practically having the same of everything. The fainting is no exception.”

Xavier punches his shoulder—in the delicate manner that only he can do. “It’s not funny,” but he’s giggling. “I was really worried.”

“I am fine. At least I hope I am. Nurse Weismann?” he looks at the middle-aged nurse who reminds him so much of Masina. He misses her so much, and maybe he should call. She’s been trying to keep in touch, but Seth will be honest enough to admit that he doesn’t always answer her calls. Or the calls belonging to Roman’s family. He knows it’s wrong but a part of him irrationally extends his bitterness and dejection to them. They don’t deserve it but in his mind, he wants to cut everything pertaining to Roman off.

“I’ll check your vitals and then I’ll have Dr. Kumar come to see you. But I think you’re well enough to go back home.”

Seth nods his head.

After nurse Weismann attends to his health, and the babies, she leaves with the promise of getting Dr. Kumar. Randy steps forward, standing next to Xavier. “You gave us quite a scare, Rollins.” It’s said blankly.

“I thought you didn’t scare,” Seth can’t think of anything else to say.

“I don’t.” Randy looks like he’s smirking but Seth can’t be sure. “But where Xavier’s concerned—directly or indirectly, then it happens. So miniscule but there nonetheless.”

“You’re contradicting yourself,” Xavier says teasingly.

“No, I’m not.” Randy again, blank blues looking down at an amused Xavier.

Xavier shakes his head, “You’re crazy.”

“I know you are but what am I?”

“I won’t even get started with you.”

Seth watches the two engage in playful banter with a deep longing. He doesn’t want to think about _him_ but he can’t help it. Every time these two flaunt their love he’s always taken back to when he had it. And to make matters worse, he had a very vivid dream. In the dream, Roman had been with him here at the hospital. Seth can still feel the royal’s arms around him—safely holding him, cherishing. He can still smell Roman’s scent— _him, all of him—_ it causes his heartrate to spike up.

“Seth?”

“Huh?” Seth looks Randy in the eyes. He’s frowning. Why?

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, w-why?”

Xavier responds on Randy’s behalf, gesturing towards the heart monitor. Oh. _Oh._ “I’m f-fine.”

None of these people believe him.

“I really am, it’s j-just, I was just thinking. _He’s_ on my mind,” stumbling on his words, body flushing, Seth’s gaze finds Manuia at the mention of _him._

Xavier starts giggling again. His fiancé releases a snort.

“Manuia…” Seth speaks to Manuia directly for the first time since he entered his hospital room. “Thank you for acting quickly yesterday. You could’ve just saved myself and the babies.”

Manuia clears his throat, he shrugs stiffly. “I did what I had to do. You’re all so important to—him. If anything were ever to happen to you…” Manuia’s eyes darken, while Seth curses this monitor thing as his heart rate spikes up again. It’s just, the look in Manuia’s eyes—it reveals complete heartbreak. “It would kill him.”

Seth bites his lip, looking away. “I had a dream t-that he was here,” it’s whispered tearfully, without thought.

 _Silence_. Even from Xavier.

It peaks Seth’s curiosity, causes his mind to race haphazardly. There are a million thoughts running through his mind at the moment. Was Roman, did he…? Seth wants to ask but he’s scared and he’s sure this heart monitor will have broken by the time he’s cleared to leave this hospital. It keeps revealing everything he’s trying to hide and he hates it. The fucking beeping thing. Seth isn’t far from breaking it.

Dr. Kumar enters before he can do anything he’ll regret. She double checks nurse Weismann’s findings, going through his file. A little smile on her round face reveals her satisfaction. “I don’t see any reason for us to keep you here, Seth. You’ll be discharged soon. But I want still want you to rest, control your stress and do a bit of yoga. Talk to this lot, they’re your support system.”

Seth nods absently, his mind is still running wild to be honest. Was Roman, no. It couldn’t have happened. Seth refuses. Why, he wouldn’t be able to tell you. But he refuses. Roman wasn’t, he wasn’t here last night. He just wasn’t and that’s that.

Dr. Kumar leaves and Seth refocuses on the occupants in the hospital room with him. Randy is looking back at him, unwavering. His eyes rarely reveal emotion so Seth knows not to bother with him. Manuia is next, just as impassive. Next. If there’s anyone who Seth knows more than himself, it’s Xavier. Xavier who always looks at his feet when he’s lying or hiding something.

Okay. Okay, so _he was_  here.

“It wasn’t a dream.” He says matter-of-factly.

“No,” Manuia answers first, after a long silence. His fear shows clearly. Poor guy, he’s probably thinking about yesterday.  

“I am not angry.” Seth spills without thought. But the words are true, surprisingly. He’s not mad, but he is confused. He’s not sure what he’s supposed to feel exactly. His feelings are…ambivalent. He’s been through so much heartache that he doesn’t know what to feel anymore. If he wants to feel at all. “I just want to go home, I mean to Xavier’s.”

“It is your home too, Seth.”

Seth smiles kindly at Xavier’s innocent words. But home isn’t Tampa anymore. Home became Miami the day he ran into Roman at Lakefield Park one windy, gray morning. He just hadn’t known it back then. “Thank you, Xav.” He says softly.

He’s changed into fresh clothes, brought to him by Xavier when Dean finally rejoins them. Dean who apparently ignored nurse Weismann’s instruction and went to Popeye’s anyways. He’s also juggling so many plastic bags in one hand and three cups of coffee in the other. “Sorry for taking so long. The queues were fucking unbearable but for you guys I thought fuck it. Randy go get Xavier and Seth two bottles of orange juice at the vending machine.”

Randy raises an eyebrow.

“What? It’s for your pregnant spouse and his best friend.”

“Please baby.” Xavier brings Randy’s face to him, kissing his lips.

A sigh, “Only for you would I go to the fucking third floor to do this.”

“There’s a vending machine on this floor.”

“No orange juice, just sodas.”

Xavier kisses Randy again. “I’m grateful then.”

“Hey, it’s the least I could do for knocking you up without marrying you first.”

“And for the other things…”

A smirk this time, “The other things too. I love you, doll.”

“I know you do. And I love you, very much, Randall.”

“Shhh, don’t call me that in front of _him…_ ” Randy nods his head to Dean, blue eyes blank as ever.  

“Can you just go get the fucking juice? The coffee’s getting cold.”

Seth thinks Randy’s counting in his head as his penetrating gaze locks on Dean. But he nods okay, thankfully, and disappears in the direction of the lifts.

They leave the hospital at 09:00. Seth is reluctant at first, but Manuia manages to convince him to ride with him back to Randy’s. His previous suspicions of the Bentley being new are confirmed immediately he enters the car. It smells of leather, polish and lavender. “You bought this?”

“Yes, it was time for a change.” Manuia says it casually, like he just bought a new phone instead of a _car._ But it’s without arrogance, Manuia is always humble about his success.

“And I can’t spill anything on it?”

Manuia spares him a quizzical glance, “Isn’t obvious? You’re not going to purposely do it, right?”

“Don’t know,” Seth shrugs teasingly. “Letting the bread crumbs fall on the seat is very tempting.”

“I’ll murder your ass. I promise you.”

“I’m carrying your godkids, you can’t do that.”

Seth watches tearfully as Manuia’s eyes widen. There are unshed tears swimming in his eyes. “Seth…”

“You’re their link—to their father.” Seth bites his lip. “I k-know that he—doesn’t want them. And I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to explain it to them. But m-maybe you—can.”

“Seth! That’s not true, you know that’s not true!”

“Then what a-am I supposed to—say, Manuia?” Seth bites his lips, salty liquid raining down his cheeks. His pain is returning, and he’s hiccupping quietly.

“If Roman didn’t care, about you, about the _babies_ then he wouldn’t have done all of this. He wouldn’t have sent me here. You’re all he thinks about, when Nikki went to the papers, his only thoughts were on you. He only wanted your protection. It’s why I’m here.”

“N-Nikki?” his brain has decided to settle on that piece of information first. Seth looks at Manuia, suddenly feeling queasy.

“Mhm,” Manuia’s eyes never leave the road as he answers. “She’s responsible for all this shit.”

“Why?” Seth racks his brains on her motive. During that meeting, she’d said she wanted to open his eyes. Is this why…? Seth shakes his head, it’s too extreme for him. This hasn’t just affected Roman, it has affected him too. And he knows Roman’s family is affected as well. “Why—would she do that, Manuia?”

“It’s amazing the lengths one would go to to heal their broken hearts, Seth.”

Seth laughs mirthlessly at that. No, he’s not going to accept that reason. Surely there’s more to it, because he refuses to believe that there are humans bitter enough to do what Nikki did because they were _heartbroken_. “Ro—I mean, he broke my heart too. I—am c-carrying his children and it wasn’t enough to make him stay. I couldn’t change him. But you don’t see me walking around trying to ruin his life. Maybe it’s because I’m still in love with him. But even if I wasn’t, I wouldn’t want to hurt him this way, Manuia.”

“We handle pain differently. I’m not defending Nikki but I think in her brain, she thought she was doing the right thing. But we spoke to her, and John, her partner.”

Seth nods, moving stray hair away from his face. “John’s a good man. What did he say?”

“Broke up with her. She left him no choice, really. She’s, I don’t know how to say this, Seth…”Manuia stops at a red light, giving him his full attention. “Or maybe I shouldn’t tell you at all. Dr. Kumar already warned us about—”

“Manuia, just spit it out.”

“I—she loves him, Seth. He’s not easy to get over; her words not mine. And I don’t know, in a weird twisted way, she wanted to hurt him like he hurt her despite her love for him.”

“And she waited three years?” Seth snorts.

“I think she wanted to go all out—go for the kill, you know. Something that would shatter his whole world—break him, if you will.”

“Me?”

“Mhm,” Manuia hums quietly. “It’s so obvious, Seth…Roman’s love for you. It’s so easy to tell how in love the two of you are. Even in the papers. She finally found a way to avenge herself.”

“I—told him I hated him. A-After I saw Nikki at that restaurant, a-and she came to my table…she said some things, Manuia. Things that got me angry. I-I couldn’t help it, my anger towards Roman. So two days before he—broke up with me, we had an argument. I was the one pushing for an argument, I wanted to hurt him. I said some things, hurtful words—and I chased him out.”

“What did Nikki say?”

“A bunch of stuff,” Seth sniffles, wiping away his tears with his hoodie—it’s Roman’s actually. “Like how he runs away sometimes—how he disappears. And the sex. I a-allowed her to provoke me, to play me.”

“Roman doesn’t see it like that. He thinks it’s a good thing that she talked to you because it allowed you to reveal what you truly felt. And in turn made him realize that he’s no good for you.”

“Well he’s wrong!” his voice lifts an octave, cracking badly. “He had no right to decide that for me. I-I mean I know how he is—it’s hard loving someone that broken sometimes. It hurts when I pay for the sins I didn’t commit. He’s loving me wrong, I admit. But what about _therapy,_ Manuia? W-Why did he have to let me go completely when he knew that I needed him? I fucking stayed with him, through everything and what does he—”

“Nikki told him it wouldn’t be fair on you. For him to make you stay while he worked on himself.”

Seth’s eyes widen, his mouth opening and closing silently. The emotions crashing through him overwhelm him, but anger is right at the forefront. He’s shaking, face red and wet. “When was this?” he questions silently, when it doesn’t feel like his head’s going to explode.

Silence.

It increases Seth’s blood pressure. “Manuia, if you value your life you will give some fucking answers! I can think of 1001 ways to kill you and not get arrested for it. It’s not a threat, I fucking promise you.” He says softly. Too softly.

“The day before your breakup.”

_Oh god._

“Stop the car!” he orders, covering his mouth. His stomach’s quivering uncomfortably. Manuia’s string of curses sound too far for his sensitive ears. This feels like yesterday all over again, the blood is rushing to his ears. Seth escapes the car as soon as it comes to a sudden halt. The humid air hits him immediately, not giving him the chill he desperately craves. And right there on the sidewalk with the cars honking in impatience, he wretches the food he’d just been eating.

“Deep steady breaths…” Manuia reaches his side, pushing his hair aside. “It’s okay, sweetheart. Let it all out.”

Seth’s eyes water at the instruction, but he obeys. Distantly, he hears the curses of the displeased drivers and a few people walking on the streets. He can’t bring himself to care. Why are they looking at him anyway?

“Thank you,” he says hoarsely, accepting a water bottle from Manuia. He rinses his mouth, spitting out any traces of vomit in his mouth. Done, he rubs his belly to soothe the weird things going on in there. “Settle down,” he whispers to the babies. His stomach feels like a popcorn maker.

“They giving you a hard time?”

Seth shakes his head no. “They are just moving around. It’s a bit unsettling but I love it. They were doing it a lot yesterday too. When Roman, when their father had been there, they moved around a lot. I don’t know, I think they were trying to get to him.”

“Isn’t a bit early for them to recognize their father’s voice?” Manuia asks skeptical. The big man helps him up, they return to the car. They’re only ten minutes always from the Orton’s home thankfully.

“I—a lot of weird things are happening with this pregnancy, Manuia. Last night, the babies began moving frantically at the sound of Roman’s voice—so much more than they’re doing now. And I’m getting weird dreams. I even know their genders. I know all their names. They came to me in a dream. An old man, very old, he gave me their names. What’s strange is that he was speaking a language I couldn’t—understand. It wasn’t just Samoan—it was diluted with it. I just, I don’t understand what’s going on, Manuia.”

“That is strange…” Manuia hums thoughtfully. “It’s probably an ancestor. You should speak to aunt Pat about it.”

“I haven’t talked to her in two weeks,” Seth confesses, guilty. He leaves the car with Manuia, heading for Randy’s contemporary home. The door isn’t locked so they just enter. “She’s been calling, and I don’t know, sometimes I find myself mad at her for no reason.”

“Are you sure it’s not because she’s Roman’s mother?”

Seth squirms, not wanting to admit a thing.

“I think it’s okay to feel that way. Especially with your hormones.”

“It’s a good excuse. I can call her and give her that, can’t I?”

Manuia rolls his eyes. “You can be as immature as Roman when you want to.”

Despite the pang of hurt stabbing at him, Seth also manages a fond laugh. “His behavior was bound to rub off on me.” They find Xavier all alone in the living room. He’s eating, looking radiant as ever. “Where’s your fiancé?”

“Working on the nursery with Dean.” Xavier replies breathlessly. He’s been losing his breath a lot lately, it’s the same for Seth. “It’s the only thing that can bring those two together.”

“Nylah will be one lucky girl, to have so many people doting on her. I can only imagine how worse it will be once she gets here.”

“Oh please, it will be the same for the quads and you know it. I just hope there’s at least one little girl in there. I know how much your boy—I mean Roman, I know how much he wants boys.”

“As long as they’re healthy.” Seth responds, evading Manuia’s prying eyes. He won’t reveal the gender of the babies. It’ll all be a surprise. Never mind the fact that it got ruined for him in his dreams. The others will just have to wait through it though. “You’re still going ahead with the Pink Palace theme?”

“Yup. Randy and I got the Renaissance print wallpaper yesterday—it’s in metallic gold. Gosh, it’s so beautiful Seth! We also ordered the perfect crystal chandelier online. I can’t wait to get started on the décor but of course those two still need to get the painting out of the way.”

“If it’s as beautiful as the images you showed me the other day, then Nylah will be one happy girl. It was so gorgeous, Xavier.”

“I know,” Xavier chuckles innocently. “Do you guys mind if I leave? I just need to call my mom, she’ll be coming over here before I give birth.”

“No. Go ahead.”

“He’s so precious.” Manuia says fondly once Xavier is out of view.

“I know, it’s the reason he could make the coldest of cold thaw to his will.”

“Xavier’s his only exception?”

“Totally, it’s tough luck for the rest of us.”

“But you speak fondly of him.” Manuia raises an eyebrow, his confusion is so clear.  

“Because he’s proven himself. I don’t think anyone could ever love Xavier as perfectly as Randy does. He’s come a long way, you wouldn’t want to know how he was three years ago. But he’s gotten better, he realizes, what love is really about. It’s not a dictatorship.”

“Ah, he was one of those guys…”

“He was worse, way worse. He still is in some ways, because he still thinks violence is the solution to everything but I don’t know—I’m just glad that it’s never aimed towards Xavier.”

“I see…”

Seth remains silent for a while, focused on the Netflix film on the screen. He has no idea what it’s about. He doesn’t try to figure it out. But he’s focused on the pictures. “So Roman spoke to Nikki before he broke up with me…a-and if she told him that he had to let me go so that he c-could fix himself…that’s the reason he broke up with me? He listened to Nikki and decided that what we had wasn’t enough? He d-didn’t trust my love for him. And that I—was with him because I wanted to be. He decided that he wasn’t best for me and robbed me of making that decision all on my own.” Seth laughs sadly. “H-He's still so selfish.”

“I tried to get him not to, Seth. But his mind was already made up. He rarely ever goes back on his decisions. But he’s seeing a therapist now. And he is following her advice, he’s trying…”

Seth isn’t sure how to reply. He’s happy—that Roman is following through with therapy. He’s proud too, because it’s taken going through so many storms for him to finally agree to this. Seth’s happy. Really he is. But he’s sad too. Part of him thinks Roman could’ve followed through with the therapy without breaking up with him. Part of him can’t erase the excruciating pain of that night. It will never go away. Part of him thinks Roman shouldn’t have sacrificed him, their family, like that. An even bigger part of him is completely melancholy, utterly desolated and frustrated. He’s wrecked, heart in ruins. Nikki managed to sneak her way into Roman’s mind. Managed to make him listen to her. While Seth, again, got none of that. Even as he’d cried and begged.

“Maybe this breakup thing was for the best. He never listens to me. He doesn’t talk to me. He shuts me out. But he listens to the other voices. Even ex-girlfriend's. I can’t be with someone like that—I deserve better.” His heart cracks as the words leave him.

Manuia observes him, biting his lip. “You do.”

“Do you think if I tell my heart that enough, it’ll allow me to move on? To I—don’t know, not hurt anymore?”

“I…don’t know.”

“I doubt it.” Seth moves around on the couch. “My feet hurt.”

“I give mean foot massages.” Manuia helps him get resettled on the couch, adjusting Seth’s feet so that they’re sat on his lap. “I don’t know how I didn’t notice how swollen they are before.”

“There’s a lot going on with my body, Manuia.” Seth chuckles. “I have heartburn, I can’t breathe right, my back hurts—it doesn’t matter what position I sit in. I’m always tired, my nipples are fucking big, swollen and sore. My dick's always hard, your stupid brother fucks me in my dreams. It’s all great in the spirit world but it’s torture when I wake up and he isn’t available to satiate me. And I can’t even jerk off because I feel weird about it now. What the fuck has he done to me, Manuia?!”

“Uh, Seth?”

“I-I’m fine,” it’s sniffled out, “Just massage my feet. And you’re going to visit me everyday. Now that I know you’re here, I want you to visit everyday. You’re my new bodyguard, I can’t order John and Braun around anymore. You’re taking their place. It’s not up for discussion.”

Manuia chuckles, “Whatever you say, Your Highness.”

“Shut up!”

Another chuckle, so infectious that Seth joins in on it too. Familiarity. Even though Roman’s not here, Seth feels a bit better knowing that Manuia’s here. The royal bastard isn’t so bad sometimes. He knows what Seth needs. Even if it’s not completely but Seth will give him an ‘A’ for effort. _I love you,_ the words come out of nowhere as he thinks about Roman. For the first time in a long time, they make him feel so good. They fill his stomach with delicious flutters. Silly him for falling for the royal bastard. His stupid kryptonite.

* * *

 

“That’s a lot of black you used.” Dr. Carson’s voice is calm, like it always is, as she observes his portrait of Tyler. “Can you break it down for me, this painting? I’d love to know more about it.”

Roman sighs, “He loved the forests, Lanu Meamata. Every Friday afternoon, when I can back from school, I’d take him there. So I—painted the forest, it’s dark because I…don’t know. Those forests don’t represent what they used to anymore.”

“And what was that?”

“Light, growth, promise, joy—it represented a lot of things, Doc. Now, it’s just black—dark. Empty, cold—those forests are my sadness.”

“Have you ever returned to them?”

Roman’s gaze snaps to hers at the question, heartbeat increasing rapidly. “N-No, I—can’t do that.”

“Why do you feel like you can’t?”

“That would be the end of me, Doc.”

“If you allow it to, it’s how you choose to approach what’s holding you back that’s the problem. But right now, I am not going to request for you to go back. Let’s get back to the portrait, okay?”

A head nod, “The black represents what I f-feel sometimes about Tyler. I miss him—I grieve for him. I never got the chance to move on from him, not until I met—Seth.” Something stabs his heart, at the mention of Seth’s name. He rubs his chest, marring his skin with a mixture of black and red paint. “Blue, blue was Tyler’s favorite color, I had to add it in. Red, I don’t know I felt like using it at the time.”

“What were you feeling when you chose the color?”

“Love, Doc. I—Seth, I love Seth. He’s my—whole world. But I love Tyler too. I was angry when I was using that color, sometimes the anger gets so bad that I wish I could be granted the opportunity to hurt him the same way he hurt me when he—” Roman cuts himself short, breathing harshly. The volatile emotions are returning again, his vision being cloaked by unshed tears. His jaw clenches tightly. “But I—somewhat understand, Doc. When you told me to watch the videos on mental health—a-and _that_ other one. I think I understand—so little though, but I do.”

“I like how you cloaked him in white, despite the darkness that’s going on around him.”

“I, he is—pure. Despite what he did, regardless of how intensely negative I feel towards him sometimes, it doesn’t take away his purity. In my culture it also represents royalty, that’s what Tyler had been to me. Regal, a Prince, my Prince.”

“That’s so great, Roman. I’m glad you see it that way—we all have some light in us, it doesn’t matter how miniscule but it’s there. And the darkness doesn’t take away that light. I think that’s what I see when I look at this portrait, that despite the shrouding Tyler, the light is still there.”

“Maybe,” Roman shrugs. “I—Doc…do you think it’s possible for me to…love both of them?”

Dr. Carson nods her head, “I think it’s possible, we already have enough space in our hearts to love as many people as we want to. From your journal entries, Tyler was your first love—it never vanished because you never got to experience what other couples do. Things like breaking up, his death was sudden. So of course the love is still there. But what’s beautiful is that the same love extends to Seth. You’ve allowed yourself the opportunity to love again.”

Roman nods his head, lips pursed. “Sometimes I think I—love Seth more than I had Tyler. I don’t know if it has to do with what Tyler—did.”

“How does that make you feel?”

“Guilty sometimes. The other times I tell myself that I—won’t feel guilty because Tyler did this to us. He chose to leave me.”

“Love is love, Roman. Personally, I don’t really understand people that choose to measure it. Love equals respect, care, compassion, thoughtfulness and so many other things. All those components form part of love. If you felt those things for Tyler, and you still feel them for Seth then I would personally say that’s all that matters.”

“I hear you.”

Dr. Carson nods her head. “I admire your resiliency, Roman. The fact that you’re putting in the effort each and every week to come in here—and face your struggles head-on. It takes a great amount of resiliency.”

“Always boosting my ego…” Roman teases, although the words do make him feel good about himself.

“Like I said, ‘ego booster’ needs to be added to my profession.”

Roman chuckles, shaking his head.

“I want us to move to the next phase. I want you to scan your strengths after Tyler’s death. We’re still going to deal with the not-so-good parts, the weak areas. But the next time you come back I want us to look at your strengths. How did you push yourself to move forward after what happened? Your diary’s available—ask your family to help too. Maybe they’ll reveal the strengths that you weren’t even aware of.”

“Alright, Doc.” Roman ties his sweater to his waist, grabbing his art supplies. Dr. Carson helps him carry a few items. He bids the receptionist farewell, guiding Dr. Carson to the parking lot. “I’ll see you on Friday?”

“Friday,” the small woman nudges her glasses higher up her nose. “Call me…anytime.”

“You weren’t pleased to hear from me at 02:13 a.m. two days ago.”

Dr. Carson rolls her eyes, “You caught me off guard. But I’m glad you did, that was the most you spoke to me than in our sessions.”

“But you still lost some sleep.”

“Was worth it,” Dr. Carson waves him off. “We’re still going to face that dream you told me about. Just not now, you’re tensing at the mere mention of it.”

“I want to get better, Doc.”

“You will, you are. One step at a time.”

“One step at a time,” Roman echoes. “I’ll see you around, Doc.” At Dr. Carson’s head nod, Roman drives off, beginning the fifteen minute drive to Anoa’i Investments. Manuia captures his thoughts, on the conversation they had two days ago.

He’s still residing in Tampa, and Seth has apparently warmed up to his presence. Roman’s grateful for it, happy even. But it is rubbing him off the wrong way that Seth is still living with Randy and his spouse. Randy’s spouse who is 31 weeks pregnant and is close to giving birth. The same spouse whose mother will be moving in with them to help around once Xavier has given birth. It’s bound to get too crowded.

Unfortunately, Seth still wants nothing to do with him, rightfully so but Roman can’t help but be frustrated sometimes. For someone in Seth’s situation, someone carrying so many babies, he ought to be less stubborn. He ought to think about the future. Roman’s been asking Manuia about Seth’s pregnancy updates. The man’s 23 weeks pregnant now. And according Manuia, Seth’s OB/GYNs have planned for him to give birth in eleven weeks, if there are no complications before then.

Seth has no plan intact. The babies haven’t been bought any clothing. They have no nurseries. Nothing. Nothing, except their gloomy mother. So Roman came up with a plan, although it’s not much of a plan. Seth will see right through it, but maybe Manuia will be able to convince to see beyond his dislike for him. They are going to buy a house. Well, Manuia will. He already has. And if Seth agrees then the two of them will be living together.

Roman hopes Seth agrees. He knows he doesn’t deserve it. But this isn’t about him. It’s about what’s right. It’s about the people he cares for more than anything in the world. He meant what he said, he wants Seth to be well taken care of. He never wants Seth to suffer. He doesn’t want their babies to suffer. They all deserve the world. And he’s going to do everything in his powers to give it to them.

* * *

 

“I think you should accept. You should. That house is huge as fuck, you and the babies would be living like celebrities, Seth.” Dean says, pouring him another glass of homemade nonalcoholic champagne. It tastes better than Seth had originally thought.

They’re discussing Manuia’s offer to stay at some new house with him again. Seth told Manuia that he’d think about it but he’s tempted to accept to be honest. After Xavier’s mother’s arrival two days ago (for Xavier’s baby shower, it was yesterday) there hasn’t been much room in the Orton’s home. It’s too crowded and getting awkward to be honest.

Manuia gave him a whole bunch of reasons on why moving in with him would be a good idea. Once the babies arrive (which is not very far), they’ll need a nursery. And a whole lot of staff that he hadn’t thought of. Not with one stupid man always invading his mind. But yesterday, after Xavier’s baby shower, he went shopping for a bunch of baby stuff with Manuia and Dean.

All the items have been shipped off to Dean’s. There isn’t enough space at the Orton’s. Which is another signal. He should really move in Manuia. There’s no other option. At least not now. He has no job. No source of income. But he’s never broke. There’s money, always available in his account. He’s not a big spender but Seth thinks it should be close to nothing by now. But it’s the opposite. Sometimes he checks his account and he swears there’s more money in it than he remembers. He tries not to think that’s it’s coming from _him._ He doesn’t even receive notifications on any funds being deposited into his account.

“Dean! Don’t give him any ideas, I don’t want him to leave.” Xavier breaks him out of his thoughts.

“I think that maybe I’ll have to accept,” his mind speaks for him.

“Oh, Dean! See what you’ve done…” Xavier’s displeasure can’t be masked. His eyes are becoming puffier, wincing with unshed tears.

“It’s only logical, Xavier.” Seth reasons. “Your mom’s here, that house wasn’t meant for too many people. No offense…”

“She can stay at a hotel.”

“Xavier!” Dean’s cackling loudly. He clearly finds the whole thing funny.

“I—I just missed him, us—being friends. He was in Miami for so long and now he’s back. I just want to spend some time with my best friend.”

“You will Xavier,” Seth hugs the young man awkwardly. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“I know, I just…fine,” he concurs at the look on Seth’s face. Seth has already made up his mind. It’s time he pushed his feelings aside and thought of the babies. The babies who have turned his ribs and belly into their soccer ground. Seth rubs his belly soothingly, trying to take deep even breaths. Jesus, breathing never comes easily to him lately.

“You’ll be fine.” Seth tells his best friend. “You were just fine when I—left for Miami.”

“I guess…” Xavier sighs.

Dean, who had left them with the word ‘toilet’ comes back. He’s carrying a few colored placards. Seth raises an eyebrow in interest. “What’s going on?”

“I just want to liven up this party.” Dean has a naughty look on his face. “I want us to play a game.” Shit! Seth isn’t sure if he’ll like this game. Dean’s games have notoriously been known to be insane. But he hopes Dean won’t try to make them play Twister or something that’s physically demanding.

“A…game?” Xavier sounds just as hesitant as him.

“21 Questions.” Dean grins boyishly, plopping down on the couch next to Xavier. He lowers the volume of the music player and gives them his attention. “I’ll do all the asking. You guys will answer.”

“That’s not how it works.”

“This is my house, my games, the rules are made by me, princess.”

Seth rolls his eyes. “It’s Antonio’s house. And you’re going to answer those questions too, although I have a feeling I won’t like them much.”

Dean’s vibrant blues light up. “Right, first question—which one of your boyfriends had the biggest dicks?”

Xavier spills his champagne, blushing furiously. Seth can’t help but join in on Dean’s laughing. Xavier is painfully innocent sometimes. “Really?”

“Duh, I asked it.” Dean’s unapologetic, the ginger bastard is even smirking.

“I’ve only had o-one boyfriend.” Xavier answers first.

“Me too,” Seth replies. Yes, he’s had sex plenty of times with people before Ro—before _him._ But they didn’t matter. It was just a transaction. It’s not the same as it is with that bastard who can lure everything out with just his presence. “But he’s still the biggest, I guess. If I think about it.”

“I slept with this guy called A.J just before Toni. He was big but too bad he couldn’t make use of his tool. The whole thing was uneventful.” Dean reveals, giggling to himself. “Alright, question two—have you ever cried during sex?”

The answer comes a little difficultly this time, but Seth answers first. “Yes, plenty of times. I would cry when reminded of just how much I adore him, how crazy we drive each other but never feeling anything less than genuine energy. I’d cry in moments of submission, when all of me belongs to him and all of him to me. I think he always understood why I’d cry, so he’d hold me even tighter and in that moment, no one could love the way we love each other.”

“Aww,” Dean coos, grinning like an idiot.

Xavier is sniffling beside him. It embarrasses Seth a bit to be honest. “I mean I cry when he hurts me too. Or when I am angry at him but still give him sex. That pisses me off the most. No self-control…my heart more than my body.”

“I did that once, Randy was creeped out and avoided me an entire day so nope. Never again.”

Seth chuckles loudly. “I don’t really wish to have your boyfriend, even for a day. He’s too cold for me.”

“Only to you guys. Dean answer your question.”

“Y’all are just a bunch of sissies. Especially you Seth, damn I didn’t think you cried. I don’t cry during sex. Like it’s just…no. I can’t even imagine it. I’m not about to cry with a big dick all up in me. Hell no! Okay, next question—where’s the craziest place you’ve ever done it?”

“Um…” Seth bites his lip at the memory. His cheeks are flushed. “You first, Dean. It’s only fair.”

“On the sidewalk, my horny ass almost got my boyfriend in trouble. The cops thought I was a sex worker.”

Seth breaks into laughter, a bit more softly this time, it hurts to laugh. The babies are gutting him. “The things you make Toni do. He should’ve left you a long time ago.”

“He won’t. Sex with me is the bomb. He ain’t going nowhere, my ass makes sure of that.”

Seth rolls his eyes. “Okay…so, I k-know this was wrong but it was all—Roman’s idea. I…when you guys were visiting the last time, he—I m-mean, do you remember we were all at the cinema room? The day before you left? I-I can’t remember what movie we were watching. But it had to do with cars. Roman rarely watches action films so all his attention had been focused on me. So we, uh, wehadsexrightinfrontofyou.”

“What?”

“It was also a bit gibberish to—wait a fucking minute!” Dean’s eyes widen, he’s about to start screaming. Seth has to look away. This whole thing is a bit embarrassing. At the time, it had been exciting, Roman touching his body the right way to get him wet enough to give in but now…he’s not so sure. “THEY FUCKED RIGHT IN THE ROOM WITH US. BUNCH OF NASTIES!!! No wonder! I kept thinking you were breathing too hard but y’all were seated behind me and it was dark. But _you,_ ” Dean points an accusatory finger at Seth. “You’re too fucking loud—you were making these tiny squeals and whimpers. Thank fucking god I never looked back. Shit, Seth! And I thought I was bad…” Dean gulps down his beer, uncaring as a bit of it slips past his lips. “You’re right there, man. Right on top. What about you Xavier? What are you hiding behind that innocence?”

“I…don’t know if I should say.”

Dean rolls his eyes, “Spill it out.”

“The Black Vault toilets—a quickie.” Xavier gets his words out quickly. He groans in his face right after, he’s probably just as embarrassed as Seth.

“You naughty fucker!” Dean’s just enjoying this. The bastard is laughing at their expense. Seth can’t be sure why’s he’s even answering to his questions. “Right, moving on—your partner’s favorite part of your body?”

Finally. A semi-decent question.

“My body,” Seth replies first. “All of my body, he doesn’t have a favorite.”

“Lucky you, Toni hates my feet. He insults them any chance he can get. But he’s obsessed with my ass obviously. And my back.”

“Randy likes to, um, he’s obsessed with my nipples. Especially now, they’ve grown so much.”

“I read that somewhere. Are you nipples growing too, Seth?”

“Yeah. They’re always sore and red. But it’s nothing I can’t handle.”

“It’s so weird, but I get it…okay, so another question—do you send your partner sexts?”

“Used to,” Seth shrugs.

“Nope. I don’t want him losing concentration in the operating room.”

“Aw, you’re no fun, kitten. You should try it—it’s really fun.”

The questions seem to last forever before it’s finally time to leave. It’s ten o’clock when Randy rings the doorbell at Antonio’s house. They say their goodbyes and leave. The first Seth does once he’s in his room, back at Randy’s, is call Manuia. “I’ll move in with you.” He whispers quietly.

“Really?” Manuia is trying to keep his excitement at bay but Seth can hear it clearly.

“Yes.”

“Great, great. It’ll be really fun, I promise you.”

“I know…” Seth says quietly. “Just like I know that it’s Roman who bought that house.”

“Seth…”

“I’m not mad,” he replies quickly. “Tell him, tell him I said thanks. But I hate that he—can’t respect my wishes.”

“I…will.”

“How is—he?” the question always leaves him. He always has to know. It’s the part of him that won’t stop caring. Because he’s still in love with Roman. And he cares for him, maybe more than he does for himself.

“He’s…trying. He’s going strong with the therapy. He really wants to get better.”

“I’m glad—” Seth bites his lip, heart beating fast. He has another question, one that’s always swirling in his mind when talking to Manuia. _Has he asked about me?_ “Well, that’s all—”

“He loves you, that hasn’t changed.”

“M-Manuia…” Seth starts, voice cracking. Dear god, he doesn’t want to cry. “Please…I-I can’t…”

“I know, I know…look I’m sorry for telling you but you need to know. I always want you to know.”

“Will you come help me pack tomorrow?”

Manuia pauses briefly, his breathing in Seth’s ear. “Fine…” a sigh this time.

“Thank you,” Seth drops the call before Manuia can say anything else. He repositions himself on the bed, rubbing his belly. “I love you, and you father loves you—he’s just being a jackass at the moment. But in my dreams, we’re all a family, alright? I want y’all to cling to that illusion with me. That he’s here with us, and that he loves us.” He whispers to the babies, tears rolling down his cheeks. He closes his eyes, pictures his family in his head. And if he tries hard enough, Seth thinks he can feel the ghost of Roman’s arms surrounding him, protecting him, cherishing him. _I love you too._ He returns, as _his_ words sound right into his ear. He does, no one else but him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	39. Chapter 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya!!! I'm so sorry for the silence. This was supposed to come out yesterday but I couldn't. My twin was just...grrr. And I couldn't update. But here you are--sorry again! 
> 
> Thank you for reading <3

“Fuck, that’s it! We’re done playing.” Jimmy is panting as the words leave him. He’s even sweating profusely, while Roman suppresses a snicker—his cousin’s acting as if they were playing rugby or a game more physically demanding.

“What’s new, uce? You always call it quits when you’re on the verge of losing.” He removes his tank top, wiping away his own perspiration. Today’s actually hotter than most days and maybe he can’t blame Jimmy for resembling a dog in need of water. “I’m parched.” He doesn’t turn to look back at his cousins as he heads for the patio.

Jimmy and Jey follow loudly—they are rapping along to the 2 Pac song blasting on the speakers. Roman grabs one soda can, deciding that Jimmy and Jey can get their own drinks. Part of his decision stems from his miniscule resentment—he’s staying away from any alcoholic beverages for now. Dr. Carson seems to agree with him, that maybe he’s been consuming whisky as a coping mechanism to deal with the things that have been in his life.

“So how’s therapy going, uce?” Jey asks, carrying a large tray with grilled meat, while juggling a six-pack in another hand. He settles down next to Jimmy handing him a beer can.

“Fine…” Roman shrugs, looking between both his cousins. “Dr. Carson says that everyday I see her and divulge something—no matter how small—shows resilience. So I’m progressing according to her. Even with the—with my dreams, she knows about them.”

“That’s great! And then maybe you can finally get together with Seth again.”

A stab to his heart. Roman smiles stiffly. He sips his cold drink, can gripped to the point of being squashed. “Dr. Carson knows about you—and your…feelings for Tyler. She thinks that maybe you could come in—”

“I don’t need no therapy, uce. Not for things that happened so long ago.” It’s Jey’s turn to smile stiffly. His posture tense all of a sudden.

Roman licks his lips, says nothing. Part of him hadn’t expected anything less than a decline from his cousin. Jey is stubborn—it’s a trait that most of them have in their family. And not too long ago he was just like Jey. He doesn’t know what it is about Tyler that’s so hard to talk about. Maybe it’s because it hurts—and feels like a dagger twisting viciously into your heart until the pain is barely bearable. Or maybe it’s just wanting to forget. To push away the memories and have them locked away somewhere far, far away for eternity.

Dr. Carson told him that doing that isn’t always healthy. Because the memories are temporarily tucked away. She likens it to a sock sticking out of a drawer. The memories remain easily accessible and cued up at times when perhaps they shouldn’t be. And she says that while avoidance is completely understandable, it also prevents the memories from being processed and put away. And having the memories always in the cue makes it difficult for individuals not to feel skeptical in almost any situation. She says overtime, an individual’s beliefs and behavior then change to match how they feel.

Roman thinks it’s true. They discussed this a few days ago when she was asking him about the impact that Tyler’s death had in his life. She’s planning on making him revisit the day that he discovered Tyler. Roman’s not sure if he’s ready to do that but Dr. Carson told him that they have to do this so that the memory of that day won’t have such a hold over him anymore. He’s…willing to try—anything to get better. He still remembers, everything that happened on that night Xavier asked for an abortion. He still remembers his downward spiral. And how it led to the other things. The things that are responsible for what’s happening now.

“You’re not obliged to, cousin. But, I—it has to do with me too. I—sometimes I think you were right, when you used to say those words when we were younger. If I’d let Tyler—”

“I don’t want to talk about this, uce. I was wrong, you forgave me, I forgave you and that’s it. I don’t wanna bring no past demons to the surface. It’s all in the past, you’re getting therapy for yourself and that’s great but I don’t need none of that. I’m good, we’re good. We talked, we’re a family. I love you, you love me. Ain’t nothing else to talk about.” Jey dismisses, drinking his beer in long gulps.

Roman sighs, grabbing another soda can although he’s tempted to drink whisky now. He could try to coerce Jey into going to Dr. Carson with him but then the whole thing wouldn’t be productive. He remembers how unproductive his therapy sessions as a teenager were. Besides the fact that he never clicked with his therapist, he also couldn’t tell her much. Because he hadn’t been ready, and wasn’t willing to divulge his pain like that.

“If you’re sure, uce. I mean, I ain’t perfect too but I think it’s—helping.”

Jey smiles this time, it’s fake. “I’m happy for you, big uce.”

Things are getting tense, maybe a change of topic wouldn’t be a bad idea. “So how are things going with Patrick?” Roman clears his throat, accepting a plate filled with food from Jimmy. The meat looks delicious but he’s not even hungry.

“That one, our ancestors made him specifically for me.” A real smile this time. “That boy is wild, the things he can do with his body….hooey!”

Roman chuckles, shaking his head. “Really, ain’t nothing else you thinking about other than his body?”

Jey looks at him as if it should be obvious. “I’m telling you, uce. That boy got one hell of a body on him, he knows how to bring a grown man to tears with that tight little ass of his.”

“You hear what he’s saying?” Roman looks at Jimmy, chuckling lowly.

“Aye, I’m just glad lil’ dude’s ass is able to hold him down. I don’t care about the rest.”

“I was born into the wrong family.” The chuckles are still spilling out, Roman shakes his head.

“Velveteen is perfect man, his ass is on the verge of convincing me to introduce him to the family.”

“That should be the bonus, character comes first. You don’t want to find yourself stuck with a devil,” Jimmy raises his eyebrows sternly, chiding.

Jey waves him off, “I know that. You spoke to your wife? How’s she finding Tampa?”

Naomi went to Tampa three days ago, on Wednesday. Dean invited her, they are planning Seth’s baby shower. Roman got the information through Jimmy and Manuia. Naomi still has a grudge against him. He doesn’t blame her, and can’t really do much about it. All they ever do is argue nowadays. Because can’t the woman that he’s just as affected?

“It’s going great, her and my daughter are having the time of their lives. Seth invited them to live with him at the new house. She says Seth’s creeping her out with the crying though.”

“Manuia didn’t make his toast right. This morning he was crying because the toast wasn’t done the right way. Manuia sent me a video.” Roman says absently. He’s kept the video, like he keeps everything Seth related that Manuia sends him. “He’s so beautiful.”

His cousins snicker, “Man, you’re too far gone.” Jey says.

Roman looks at both of them, shrugging as he settles fully on the chaise lounge. “I am.” Admitting his love for Seth is never difficult. It’s pointless when his eyes always betray him anyways.

“Then do this therapy thing right so that y’all can be a family again.”

“I…I don’t know if I’m right for him, uce. I’ve brought him nothing but pain. ”

“Apologize then! Jesus fucking, you know what…it doesn’t have to be so hard. Get better, and then fight for him. Y’all both love each other so it shouldn’t be that complicated.”  

Roman looks at Jimmy, “How do you know?”

“Because that’s what my wife said, and I believe my wife.”

“Whatever,” Roman stares at the ceiling. “I saw those pictures of him with that hipster friend of his. The man had his arm wrapped around what’s mine.” He despises the way his tone grows darker. But the pictures that he saw by chance (he doesn’t even remember where he saw them) had stirred a whirlwind of emotion within him. It’s irrational to think that Seth would’ve moved on, especially with the things Manuia tells him. But he remembers, how a hint of fear had stabbed at him when he’d seen the pictures of Seth leaving a certain restaurant with that man.

He’d called Manuia, asking for some sort of explanation. Elias had gone to Tampa to offer Seth moral support apparently. With everything that has been happening, he thought it was the right thing to do. Roman thinks the whole thing is bullshit. He’d been on the verge of acting irrationally. There’d been too many thoughts poking his mind—on how to make Elias’ life hell. And then he’d been thinking about Seth. He’s not going to lie—as soon as he’d seen the pictures, he’d wanted to go to Tampa. To talk to Seth. But the only talking he ever does when he’s angry is venomous so he’d gone to work out his frustrations at the home gym instead.

“The dude's a friend.” Jey brings him back to earth. “There’s no need to take out your frustrations on that soda can.”

What?

Jey gestures to the can in his hand. _Shit._ “Sorry,” he responds.

“You do know that Seth’s in love with you, right uce?” Jey again. “The other guy, that dude’s his friend. And he kinda needs the support system. He’s carrying your kids. Your lives have been thrown into the spotlight, and it’s a stressful time. I hope you’re not holding it against him.”

“I’m not,” a small part of him is. “I…understand. I have no right to hold anything against him anyway. Not when we’re here because of me.”

“Good. You just focus on therapy and once you’re better, go after him.”

“I’ve been dreaming about him a lot lately too.”

“Oh?” Jimmy observes curiously.

“Good dreams,” Roman gestures vaguely, brows pulled together. “All so different. But we’re always at home, in Lanuola. And there’s dancing and singing.”

“Marriage?”

“Yeah…” Roman looks at Jimmy. “The different ceremonies.”

Jimmy nods, “All the more reason to push through therapy. Our ancestors are on your side. Siaosi is on your side.”

“You really think so?”

“Hey man, I know so.” Jimmy fist bumps him.

Roman nods, “I just I don’t know where I’d have to start with him. He’s still angry at me—completely justified but still…”

“Send him a gift, for that baby shower thing they’re having.”

A snort from Roman, “And say what? Good luck on raising our kids on your own?”

“That isn’t what you’re planning to do,” Jey rolls his eyes. “I know you love your family. You’re not letting them go. You’re going to fight for them.”

“Maybe…” Roman sighs, arms folding beneath his head. He closes his eyes, and pictures it in his head—having a family with Seth. He wants it, he does. But there’s the hesitance, the fear. The insecurities. He’s not good enough. “But I’ve been messing up a lot. I don’t deserve him.”

“When you think about it—no one’s ever really deserving of anyone, uce. With all the hurt we put the ones we claim to love through. But we try to be worthy of their love. I think that’s what important, man. Because the truth is you’re still probably going to hurt Seth and vice versa. But if the love’s strong enough then it can withstand the storms.”

Roman looks at Jey—blinks once, twice. “That is the most sensible thing I’ve ever heard leave your mouth.”

Loud chuckles spread over the patio.

“Hey man, I know a thing or two about love.”

“If you say so,” Roman snickers, left brow raised in disbelief.

“Hey, I am serious. Just because I fuck around a lot doesn’t mean I’m completely clueless when it comes to matters of the heart.”

“I believe you,” a smirk this time.

“For real though, uce, you need to win them back. Your family. We all know how much you’ve always wanted one. You can’t just abandon them—they don’t deserve that.”

“I hear you, uce. I’ll talk to Dr. Carson first—I want to deal with all of me first, my demons. I want to be worthy of Seth—our family. Don’t want to hurt him no more.”

“At least you realized the problem. And you’re working on it. Naomi won’t tell you this but she’s proud of you too.”

“Really?” he can’t help his incredulous tone. Naomi always looks at him as if he deserves to be murdered.

“Yup, she just won’t tell you though.”

“I see—I guess I should be happy then.” Roman leaves his seat. “Excuse me, I gotta call Mama. Ask her what to buy Seth for the baby shower.” His mother’s in Tampa too, she left on the same day as Naomi and Leilani. She’s staying at a hotel though. But she called him last night, telling him that they talked with Seth. They’re on good terms. Roman’s glad, he doesn’t want Seth to feel isolated from his family. Because despite what’s happening now, they’re still his family too.

* * *

 

“Oh ducks, unca Seth! I just felt them move again…” Leilani squeals, her tiny hands firmly planted on Seth’s large belly. It causes Seth to beam a bit, despite his discomfort—the babies are gutting him in there. But he wouldn’t change the strange sensations for the world, they always remind him that there are four humans inside him. And it’s really nice to see his belly expand to what feels like gigantic proportions. Even if he is only 24 weeks. “This is so strange.”

“It is right,” Seth smiles down at the little girl. He’s babysitting her for a while. Naomi went out with Manuia to buy a few items for the babies’ nursery. He hasn’t put much thought into what theme he wants for their nursery but he does have some colors in mind. But he’s been thinking about a soft white color for the walls, and maybe a bit of peach, gold and grey. And crystal chandeliers. Manuia’s showed him a few pictures to give him an idea—and the colors he chose really work together.

“There’s really four in there, unca Seth?”

“Yes, little creature. You saw them moving around on that weird screen yesterday, remember?” he went for his ultrasound scan yesterday. Things are continuing to go well at 24 weeks—the babies have reached their first point of viability.

“I did, I did! I can’t wait to meet them, unca Seth. I promise to be the bestest friend to them, okay? I’ll look after them for you.”

“Why, that’s awfully kind of you, Bambi.” Seth smooches her little face, grinning as Leilani pulls away—ticklish. “Are you hungry? Because I’m starving.”

“I am…but mommy told me you’re not allowed to leave the couch.”

The eye roll happens automatically, since Naomi got here she’s been fussing over him. It’s the same for Roman’s mother though—he saw her yesterday. While talking to Naomi had come naturally—as if he hadn’t been avoiding her for weeks, the same couldn’t be said for Roman’s mother. He’d felt guilty, anxious on how she’d react to him. Their conversation had been a little stiff, but Seth hopes it’ll get better. She’s going to be in Tampa for a while.

And while on the subject of mothers—there’s Katherine too. Who has been trying to schedule a lunch date with him for them to ‘catch up.’ Seth thinks he might say yes. He’s in Tampa anyway so he may as well get it over and done with. But he’ll have to find a place less public this time. On Monday, he went out with Elias to a restaurant not far from here. And then the next thing he noticed were pictures of himself and Elias on every trashy tabloid.

There were so many headlines, from him having a ‘mysterious’ new guy in his life to others accusing him of possibly cheating on Roman with Elias because it hasn’t even been that long and he’s already moving on. He could’ve cried, but Seth has been promising himself not to do that lately. He’s shed so many tears that he doesn’t have anymore left to spare. Except for the random ones that trespass because Manuia hasn’t done something right or because some of Roman’s sweaters aren’t so baggy on him anymore.

Seth knows Roman had been affected by the whole Elias thing though. He’d asked Manuia—who gave him nothing. But he could see it in his eyes. It made him feel guilty. And a part of him had been tempted to contact Roman to explain. He decided against it at the last minute—he doesn’t want to complicate things. The whole thing had just been a bad idea. One that he didn’t follow through with thankfully.

His gaze snaps to Leilani, panic simmering beneath the surface when she’s no longer in his sight. She was just here a second ago. “Bambi?” getting up is a bit of a struggle, his back really hurts. He puts on his slippers, taking a deep breath. Breathing properly is getting harder and harder to do with each passing week. “Leilani?” he calls out again, deciding to check the bathroom in the hallway first. Nothing.

The kitchen is his last resort. “Bambi…” he trails off, taking in the mess in kitchen. “Baby, what are you doing?”

An innocent face turns to face him, peanut butter on Leilani's brown face. “You’re hungry, aren’t you unca Seth?” her toothless grin will be the death of him.  “I’m making you a PBJ sandwich. Daddy taught me how to make it.”

The kitchen is a mess. He doesn’t know how the little girl managed to spread peanut butter on the white walls. He doesn’t know how the strawberry jam spilled to the marble floors. And Leilani’s even messier. He won’t even get started on how her hair looks. The sandwiches she made are on the counter, he doesn’t know how she managed to climb it. But he has a few ideas. The little girl’s a graceful ninja.

He doesn’t want to cry but dammit…the tears are on the verge of spilling over. “I—thank you so much, Leilei.”

“Oh, unca Seth! Don’t cry—you know I don’t like it when you cry.” Leilani’s tiny arms encircle his neck, clinging tightly. “Did I do the bread wrong? Like unca Manuia?”

“No, baby.” Seth chuckles, blinking his tears away. “I’m just so happy that you made me this. You’re so thoughtful.”

“This is good behavior?”

“This is very, very good behavior Leilei. I’m so proud of you.”

“I promised to take care of the babies unca Seth. I promise to take care of you too, okay?”

Another kiss to flawless brown skin. “Okay, Bambi.”

“Grab the plates, unca Seth.”

Seth obeys, heart fluttering. He cuts the sandwiches, before placing Leilani on her feet. He goes to the fridge, grabbing a carton of grape juice. Carrying the plates to the living room, he sets them on the coffee table and fixes the pillows on the couch. Leilani settles next to him, watching Donald Duck. They eat in silence for a while until the little girl breaks it, “When are you coming back home, unca Seth?”

Silence.

Seth bites the inside of his cheeks. Where to begin? “I…” he has no idea what to say. How do you explain what he’s going through to a five year old?

“We miss you. I don’t like that you’re so far away. Unca Roman isn’t fun anymore. Daddy says it’s because he misses you. So that means we have to go back home together.”

“I c-can’t, baby.”

“Why?” those big brown eyes find his, her left brow raised exactly like Roman’s. This little girl can be intimidating when she wants to. Seth struggles against squirming.  

“Because uncle Roman and I, we’re not together anymore.”

“Oh no…why unca Seth?”

Seth sighs, willing his heart break away. Having this conversation is torture. It’s ripping him apart, bringing back the pain that just never seems to leave him for too long. “He—I mean we…it’s complicated, baby.”

“What does that mean?”

A tiny chuckle emits Seth’s lips, “I…that things are difficult between us.”

“Difficult? Like in Math?”

“Yes,” Seth nods his head, “Yes, sweetheart. Like Math—very difficult.”

“But my teacher says that every problem has a solution. I see it in my Math homework—even the hardest ones, they have solutions. Sometimes daddy helps me reach the solution. So you can work it out too, can’t you?”

Damn this little girl.

Seth blinks his teary eyes rapidly, “I…guess so, sweetheart.”

“Yes!” Leilani’s browns light up. “I can help too. I know how to solve difficult problems. If it’s um, what’s that word you used?”

“Complicated.”

Leilani nods frantically, bouncy curls falling on her face. “Yes, that word. If it’s too…com-plicat-ed, I can help too. I’m taking care of you, unca Seth.”

Seth brings the small girl onto his lap, uncaring as her messy self dirties his clothes. “Thank you so much, little creature.” He hugs her tightly, kissing her soft cheek gently. Part of him feels slightly better, finding Leilani’s naivety a bit amusing. But he knows how impactful her words are too. The only problem is that whatever’s going on between himself and Roman can’t be solved easily. He wants someone he can’t have. Someone who doesn’t want him. And it’s beyond his control. He can’t fight for a relationship that would be one-sided. He can’t force Roman to want him. Or their family.  

******

Seth scowls in frustration at his reflection. He doesn’t know what it is about the way he looks today that’s making him unsatisfied. Maybe it’s how round he looks. Or it could be this ridiculous outfit that Manuia has made him put on. Yes, it’s definitely the outfit. White is not his color—it really isn’t. Not with the way he looks at the moment. He really does resemble the Michelin Man. And his stupid nipples won’t behave—the peak things are showing so visibly in the bodysuit he’s wearing. The white thing has the words ‘Quad Mommy’ written across it in gold. Seth feels like that brings attention to how big his nipples are even more.

He sighs, he’s resigned himself to the fact that this pregnancy is out to ruin his body and he can’t do much about it. He’s accepted defeat. Perhaps just for today. He can always cry about it later but today he’s giving up. He runs his fingers through his wild mane, making it fluffier. Now his hair brings him joy at least. It’s one of the few things in his body that isn’t betraying him. Heck, it’s growing so much that it’s extended to other parts of his body. The joy! _Not._ And he can’t even shave, at 26 weeks he can’t do a lot of things for himself. No matter how much he wants to.

He’s also been to confined bedrest. Dr. Baldwin—who has mutually decided with Dr. Kumar to have him come to the hospital weekly now—told him that he needs to take it easy because the babies will be joining him soon. He went for his 26th week scan yesterday—and the babies are doing great. Dr. Baldwin performed a growth scan of the babies and Seth was pleased to hear that they’re growing right on track. He also had his cervical check, and was again pleased to hear that his cervix is still holding strong.

Anyway, he’s going out with Manuia today. The big man spoke to Dr. Baldwin who gave his okay. They’re going to the mall—baby stuff shopping, according to Manuia. But Seth isn’t sure why Manuia thought buying him a hideous bodysuit to wear in public would be a good idea. And he’s not sure why he even agreed to wearing it. His mind’s a mess these days though—and Manuia told him that yesterday he agreed to wearing the tight white thing (Seth seriously doesn’t remember) so he has no choice.

“Manuia, can you come help put my shoes on?”

“Sure!” Manuia shouts right back. Seth can hear his footsteps in the hallway. “Sandals or—” Manuia pauses, he shakes his head as if he finds something funny.

“What is it?” Seth folds his arms on top of his large belly, gaze narrowed in on the big man.  

“Where are your pants, sweetheart?”

“What do you mean where are my pants?” he raises an eyebrow.

Manuia sighs, he’s still so amused. He enters Seth’s room fully, placing his hands on Seth’s shoulders and guiding the pregnant man towards the mirror. “This is what I mean.”

_Oh. Shit. Shit times infinity._

“I’ll just put them on,” Seth’s cheeks heat up. He can’t believe that he was obsessing over his appearance in front of the fucking mirror but failed to realize that he hasn’t put his pants on. Those ugly, stretchy black things that Manuia told him are jeggings. Where are they?

“On your bed, sweetheart.”

“I said that out loud?”

“Yup.” Manuia is grinning like the idiot he is.

Seth shakes his head, accepting the ugly pants from Manuia. “My private parts are going to be super confined in this hideous outfit.”

Manuia has the decency to look a bit guilty at least. “The jeggings shouldn’t be so bad. The bodysuit—well, I couldn’t find a normal t-shirt like this bodysuit in your size. So I had to do with this one—I think it’s cute on you. You have to step out in public in style.”

Rolling his eyes, Seth settles on the bed, allowing Manuia to help him put on his sandals. “I don’t want to step out anywhere. If I see one more picture of myself resembling a whale…” he sighs, going to give himself a final once over at the mirror. “I can’t even breathe right. I also think I need to pee—fucking hell, I just did that twenty minutes ago!”

“Go, I’ll wait in the living room.”

Seth reluctantly obeys. A few minutes later and he’s done. He grabs his phone, keys and his wallet. In the living room he finds Manuia whispering on the phone. The big man hangs up immediately he makes his presence known. “What’s going on, Manuia?”

“Nothing.”

“You’re lying.” Seth’s gaze turns into slits.

Manuia fidgets, “Fine. Nae and I, we wanted to find out if we could take you to the zoo—knowing how much you love animals. Dr. Baldwin said it’s okay, so that’s where we’re going. Naomi’s already there with Leilani. And don’t you dare start crying…”

“I’m not crying,” Seth denies vehemently. The tears are brimming in his eyes. _Don’t cry, Seth_ . _Don’t cry. Don’t cry._ He repeats the mantra several times in his head. It seems to be working. “Can we go now?”

“Sure.”

Manuia grabs his own things, guiding Seth outside. Because he really has become handicapped, Manuia helps him get settled into the car and everything. Seth turns the radio on—jazz music melodiously filling the car. He doesn’t mind it much—he thinks the babies love it. A few days ago, Manuia was playing it in the car and they began kicking frantically. But maybe he’s exaggerating. Maybe a part of him, deep inside, just wants them to be like _him._ To have his traits. So that he can continue loving _him_ through them.

“Are we stopping at Toni’s house first?” Seth spares Manuia a glance. This route they’re taking, it leads to Antonio’s house. They’re about ten minutes away from his house in fact. “Manuia?”

“Yeah, I gotta get a few things from Dean.” Manuia isn’t meeting his gaze.

Seth bites his lip, “Okay.” He nods his head, opening the glovebox. His chocolate stash has taken permanent residence in the glovebox. He grabs two bars, offering Manuia one for the sake of being polite—he’s relieved when Manuia declines.

“Remove your seatbelt,” Manuia tells him once he’s parked the car. There’s plenty of cars in Antonio’s driveway today. What is going on?

“Thank you.” He accepts Manuia’s offered hand. Walking the short five meters to Antonio’s front door is a daunting task—Seth can feel his heart starting to race. It feels like he’s running a bloody marathon. He’s so unfit it’s not even funny. “Phew…” he releases a long breath, waiting for Cesaro’s front door to open. Dean’s the one to open it—looking well put together.

“Hey come in,” he guides them into the hallway and then—

“SURPRISE!”

Seth nearly jumps out of his skin. He clutches Manuia’s arm, shrinking into him. “What’s going on?” there’s chaos all around him.

“It’s your baby shower, silly.” Xavier waddles to him, carrying a beautiful headdress made of white roses. “And here’s your crown…” Xavier nearly stumbles as he stands on his tiptoes.

“Careful, precious.” It’s Roman’s mother. She balances a blushing Xavier as he ‘crowns’ Seth. And then Dean’s making him wear a midi-tutu looking white thingy. He hasn’t the chance to protest—Roman’s mother’s eye is making him nervous. “Hey, you.” She draws him into a hug. Seth is still dumbfounded, but he accepts the hug. His tears soak her peachy blouse, and Seth attempts to pull away embarrassed. “It’s okay, amore.”

“No, it’s not. I’m ruining your shirt.”

“Hey now, I don’t care about that.” She pulls away slightly, looking into his eyes. “Thank you, for choosing to carry those precious beings inside of you despite what’s happening. I want you to enjoy today, okay?”

“Yes,” Seth clears his hoarse throat. “I promise to try my best.”

“Good, that’s good enough for me.”

Kofi comes to him next, “Hey…you’re so beautiful.” Seth accepts the awkward hug from him.

“Thank you,” he whispers once he’s sure he’s not going to burst into tears again. “You’re gorgeous too. How are things going with Hunter?”

“We have our little fights but everything is going amazing. He treats me right.”

“That’s great,” Seth smiles kindly. “I’d like to visit sometime but—can’t,” he gestures to his belly.

“We both understand. Maybe we could come to you though?”

“I’ll send the address.”

Velveteen—no, Patrick. Patrick is here too, their hug is even more awkward than the one Seth had with Kofi. They make small stilted talk, before Seth spots someone else. Katherine. Yup, she’s here. Seth bites his lip—torn. What is she doing here?

“Hey, baby.” Her smile is hopeful.  

“Hi…” Seth greets. He’s grateful that she doesn’t try to hug him. “What are you doing here?”

Katherine’s smile falls.

“I don’t…mean it in a bad way.”

“Your friend invited me. I can always leave—if you’re uncomfortable. I-I just thought that we could, I don’t know…” she’s struggling with her words.

Seth sighs, “It’s fine, I understand.” He really doesn’t want her here but it would be rude to have her leave. He knows how far away from Antonio’s she stays. “You can stay.”

“Thank you, Seth.”

“Fine…” he moves onto the other guests. Seth won’t lie—he’s grateful that there’s less than twenty people here. This whole thing reminds him of a low-key luncheon. The decorations are not too loud—very subtle shades of peach, grey and white. The tables have been set up elegantly, the cake looks gorgeous. Everything is just so perfect that he hasn’t the words to describe it. All he wants to do is cry. And he does—discreetly though.

“Alright, people!” Dean’s grating voice rings loudly in the living room. “Can we have our guest of honor come occupy his throne, please?”

The guests cheer and Seth has to suppress a smile. He waddles on to take center stage near the fireplace. A content moan slips past, the chair they got him is so comfortable. His hands rest on his belly while Dean begins with the program. He welcomes everyone to the shower—and goes on to make a few silly jokes before announcing that it’s game time. An icebreaker is the first on their list.

Dean hands them all numbered blankets, while Naomi posts a number of baby pictures in the party room. Dean then tells them that, according to their number, they have to guess who is pictured on each photo. A lot of the guests get their guesses right—and they’re rewarded with pale blue gift bags and bottles of champagne.

The next game that they play, Seth decides to sit out on. Xavier decides the same too. Dean calls it ‘Bobbing for Pacifiers.’ A large plastic tub has been filled with water outside. Dean has also filled it with pacifiers, and he’s letting all the guests try they their luck at bobbing for pacifiers with their hands behind their back.

“I still can’t believe that you guys did this for me,” Seth whispers shakily to Xavier. He’s still in awe—looking at the beauty of Antonio’s living room. “You’re too much.”

“I can’t be the only one who gets nice things. Besides, it’s you who said we’re having the same of everything.” Xavier laughs softly, before wincing. “Dammit, it hurts to laugh—my cramps are coming back again.” A small whimper emits the young man’s lips—while he clutches his belly. He looks like he’s in serious pain, but he manages a radiant smile. “I can’t wait for her to come out.” It’s said through a pained breath, Xavier is 35 weeks pregnant—not too far from giving birth. But he’s still glowing—Seth thinks he’s never looked more radiant.

“Just a few more weeks.”

“Hopefully three—or even two. Randy wants more, he’s always so nervous at home.”

Seth cackles at that. “Randall Orton? Nervous? In what world?”

Xavier rolls his eyes. “Yeah, he’s nervous. Having a baby is a huge deal—and I don’t know…he just doesn’t w-want to be like his dad.”

“Does he know?” Seth looks at Xavier, his brown eyes are swimming. They bring an ache to his heart. “M-Mr. Orton?”

“Yup.”

“What’d he say?”

“Nothing…” Xavier clears his throat. “He just…hung up. I-I mean I don’t care or anything. He would’ve been too toxic for our family anyway. And who—knows? Maybe his violence would’ve extended to my daughter. I don’t want that around us. I think it’s good riddance. But Randall, you can tell that he’s a bit affected.”

This is the most that Xavier’s ever revealed about Randy’s relationship with his dad. Seth doesn’t know what to say at first, too caught up in the information that Xavier has given him. But he blinks eventually, voice cracking. “T-Toxic parents. It’s the same with me and—Katherine. Although she wants to be in my life. I am trying but it’s not always easy—especially with my babies. I don’t want her around them. I don’t know what it is about them that makes you feel guilty.”

“Years of abuse, I guess.” Xavier winces again, massaging his belly. “But I’ve talked to my dad. I want Randall to see—how a real man behaves. How he treats his family. It’s not going to be the same as it was in his household. I won’t let my family be another statistic. He’s not his father.”

“He’s lucky to have you.”

“He knows it,” Xavier chuckles. “I don’t even have to remind him, he tells me—all the time.”

Again that pang of jealousy. Seth ignores it. “So how are the nipples? Have you started lactating?”

Xavier’s cheeks heat up, “I can’t believe how big they’ve become. I’m leaking colostrum—and they’re really sore, Seth. Randy bought me a few nursing pads and bras—I don’t like it but I’d rather wear that instead of leaking and then having dry white streaks on my shirts.”

“I haven’t started leaking yet but my nipples are sensitive. I can’t even put on a tight t-shirt without wincing from sensitivity. And I hate how big they are.”

“Try some nipple cream—it’s working a bit for me. And the other problem, well I can’t help you. My ones are just as big, the nursing bras just really hide them well. I will buy you a few. You’re going to need them.”

“This is really happening, isn’t? We’re really going to be mothers?” Sometimes it feels like a dream to Seth, so surreal. And then the babies will gut him to remind him that yup—he’s going to be a mother to four humans.

“I’m so excited!” Xavier grins to himself. “Sometimes I feel like I’m dreaming.”

“Me too,” Seth confesses, “I am happy too. But I—don’t know. Before I met him—their f-father—I never thought this would be possible. And then it happened and we were excited. I still am, but it hurts that I won’t be sharing it with him. I allowed myself to picture our family—it’s broken now, Xavier.”

“Please don’t think like that. Not today, Seth. This is your time—you need to celebrate this. Allow yourself this joy, even if it’s for a few hours. I don’t like it when you’re stressing all the time. It makes me unhappy to see you sad. I don’t want you to be sad—not today. Please try?”

“I—will,” Seth bites the inside of his right cheek. He chases the bad thoughts away—they never leave him in peace for too long. “I like the name you guys settled on for Nylah by the way. I think Adeline is a perfect addition.” Xavier told him that his dad had insisted that Randy come up with a name for the baby too. To create that bond with his daughter. Randy settled on Adeline—so their daughter’s final name is Nylah Adeline Rose Orton. It’s a long name but Seth thinks it’s beautiful.

“My dad’s the only one who can really intimidate Randy. But I love the name too—Adeline’s such a beautiful name. You know you still haven’t told me what your babies’ names are. Or you haven’t decided?”

“Haven’t decided,” Seth looks away. The babies’ names are already known to him but he won’t reveal them. That dream with the old man, it came to him again. Only this time, Roman’s father was with the old man. They were speaking that diluted Samoan language again. But it was so deep that he couldn’t understand a word they were saying. He just remembers how they kept looking at each other and then himself intently. It still makes him feel nervous for some reason.

“And the genders?”

“Don’t know,” he shrugs, looking at his hands.

“I know you’re lying but okay—I’ll wait.”

The guests come back thankfully. Dean tells them that it’s lunch time. Seth is grateful—he allows Naomi to help him up. “Where is Bambi?” he asks, stacking his plate with Chili Garlic Chicken Skewers. “I don’t know much about baby showers but I thought children could attend.”

“She thought going to the zoo would be a much better idea. I have a friend here so they went together with her kids.”

“Damn, and she promised to take care of me…”

Naomi chuckles, rolling her eyes. “I still can’t believe that mess she created.”

“Hey, it’s the thought that counts. I was so proud of her. She’s going to be a great cousin to my kids.”

“Oh please. Your kids will turn into misbehaving, hyper rascals. That child doesn’t listen, Sethie. She’s got too much energy.”

“As if hyper was ever a bad thing.”

“You sure you can handle four hyper humans?”

“We’ll see,” Seth laughs. “I never told you, I really appreciate your presence here. You’re awesome, Nae. I’m happy to call you family.”

Naomi crushes him into a loving hug, Seth has to balance his stacked plate. “You are family, boo thang. I’m glad that son of a—I won’t say it. But I’m glad he gave me you.”

“Me too,” Seth whispers, pulling away.

Naomi scrutinizes him. Seth hopes the pain he’s trying so hard to keep hidden isn’t showing. “He does love you, Seth. I hate him too, even though I still don’t know what happened and only read the tabloids. But I’ve seen him at home. It’s killing him that you’re not together. He doesn’t even fight back when I shout at him for doing this. You can always see it in his eyes though—he’s hurt and he loves you. If there’s one thing you shouldn’t ever doubt, it’s his love for you.”

“I—love him too, so very much.” Seth looks away when he feels a heaviness in his eyelids. Discreetly, using the end of his uncomfortable bodysuit, he dabs his tears away. “I shouldn’t but I do.”

“Love sucks!” Naomi sighs, guiding him back to his chair. “But we just can’t live without it. Let me go get you some juice, okay?”

“Thanks.”

Dean joins him a little while later, he’s been drinking and he’s grinning like an idiot. “How are you enjoying your baby shower, princess?”

“I love it,” Seth plants a tiny kiss to Dean’s cheek. “Thank you for organizing all this. But Katherine…I didn’t want her here.”

Dean considers him with a perplexed expression, “I—Xavier and I saw her at a McDonald’s, just after we bought a few items for your baby shower. I don’t know, I just thought it would be polite to invite her. I am sorry.”

“It’s fine, Dean.” Seth rests his head on Dean’s shoulder. “You didn’t know—and seeing as this whole thing was a surprise, I know you couldn’t have asked me. But I—we’re not there yet, especially to things concerning my babies. I don’t think I want her anywhere near them. Not now at least.”

“I’m sorry, princess.”

“Like I said, it’s fine. Just next time, I don’t want her here.”

“So there will be a next time?” Dean waggles his eyebrows. “Another… _baybay_?”

“I don’t even have a man and you’re asking me about more babies?” Seth snickers, rolling his eyes. “Don’t insult me, please.”

“Sorry,” Dean gets an embarrassed grin. “Hurry and eat up. We need to open your gifts.”

Thirty minutes later and Seth is allowed to open his gifts. The first one is from Dean.

“It’s a memory book,” Dean tells him when Seth opens beautifully wrapped large book. “To allow you a little creativity throughout the babies’ first year. I don’t know I thought it would be perfect for you—to record the babies’ milestones and add pictures.”

“Thank you, Deano.” Seth wraps his arms around his best friend. “I really love this.”

“Here’s mine…I got you a baby shower gift basket—it has lots of smaller necessities. Diaper pail, creams, diapers—there’s too many things in there.” Kofi says, when Dean picks up his wrapped gift.

“Thank you,” Seth smiles kindly.

There are too many gifts—baby clothes, baby monitors, baby books. There’s toys. Roman’s mother gives him a bunch of crotched blankets—and he does cry this time because they’re so many of them, all so _beautiful._ She even tells him that she’s organized a professional photo shoot for him just on Tuesday.

“I know how discomforting a pregnancy can be so I organized a day for you at the spa. It’s totally safe for you,” Katherine says.

Seth nods kindly, deciding not to tell her that he already has this at the house he lives in with Manuia. Like he said to Naomi—it’s the thought that counts. “Thank you so much.” He even graces her with a tiny smile.

Xavier’s gifts include four changing pads, burp cloths, two pajamas and robes and four crotched blankets. Seth smiles gratefully although he thinks they’re too much. But Xavier’s having a baby too so he’d obviously know what Seth needs for the babies.

“And then there’s these… identical baby cribs, Seth. Gosh, they’re so beautiful—I think they’ll fit in perfectly with the theme colors that you’ve chosen.” Dean shows him the boxes. “And the other things too—car seats, diaper bags, gorgeous swaddles.

“There’s no name,” he whispers, looking at his guests.

Silence.

There’s confusion from people like Kofi and Katherine and the others. But Dean, Mama, Manuia, Xavier—the whole squad who knows about Roman and himself—they know something. Seth’s eyes widen, watering—but he holds everything back. His mouth is dry all of a sudden and his heart is on the verge of exploding.

_They’re from him._

“Um…” he clears his throat, blinking rapidly. “These are so beautiful. I just wonder how they’ll get to the new house.”

“A truck’s been hired for tomorrow.” Manuia explains.

“I see…” another throat clearing. “I really love this, thank you.” He looks into Manuia’s eyes, hoping he’ll get the message.

“Will do.”

After the presents, comes the cake. Seth is already so full but he shoves it down his throat nonetheless. He still hasn’t recovered from the fact that Roman actually bought him a few—who’s he kidding? The gifts from the royal are ridiculously many. And Manuia told him that there are lots of other baby items that are yet to arrive.

He’s grateful, but he doesn’t know what to do. Reach out and thank the man or keep quiet? It’s been so long—he doesn’t know what he’d do were he to talk to Roman now. Maybe telling Manuia to thank the royal on his behalf should be enough. He doesn’t want to open another can of worms. Besides, he’d only be hurting himself.

The crowd slowly dissipates at five. Seth accepts the non ending hugs from close friends, ex-colleagues—despite his exhaustion. He’s hugging Fandango, when Dean’s bewildered, “Xavier, why are your pants wet?” steals his attention.

Oh no.

His gaze snaps to Xavier’s widened, fearful brown eyes. “No, no, no. It’s too soon. I didn’t mean to—ouch!” Xavier begins panting like he’s running out of air. “No, I don’t want to do this. Not t-today,” he’s whimpering. Dean catches him before he can fall to the ground. “Bad cramp,” Xavier’s eyes water. “I-I…” he’s having a hard time breathing.

“Call Randy!” Seth snaps out of his frightened stupor. “His water just broke!”

“Shit!” Naomi’s the one who scrambles to take Xavier’s phone from inside his pants pocket. “Okay…okay, I’ll just call his spouse. Yeah, that’s what I’ll—”

“Oh my god, it hurts!” Xavier’s breaking out in a sweat. And he’s groaning in Dean’s arms, he looks really uncomfortable. No position seems to be comfortable enough for him. “Don’t panic…don’t panic…don’t aaah!”

“Everybody, listen to me.” Mama’s voice rings out, authoritatively. “We’re not going to wait for this poor kid’s fiancé to get here. Look at him—he’s in pain. He’s going to the hospital. Naomi tell his spouse to bring Xavier’s hospital bag, he’ll meet us at the hospital. The rest of you out—go home. Manuia, help him up, we’re going to the hospital.”

“I’m coming with,” Seth announces, tone brokering no room for argument.

Roman’s mother seems to get his message loud and clearly. She sighs but nods in defeat. “You’re coming with me, amore. We’re going to meet them at the hospital.”

Naomi’s arguing with Randy on the other side of the line. Seth wouldn’t be surprised if Randy were barking orders at her. But Naomi’s just as stubborn—he briefly wonders what they’re arguing about.

“I’ll go with Manuia,” Dean is helping to carry a whimpering Xavier to the car.

Seth follows Mama to her Lexus. She helps him inside, quickly rushing to the other side of the car. “That poor boy, he looked like he might pass out any minute!”

“It made me scared too,” Seth admits, heart beating fast. “If he’s crying now—I don’t want to think about how bad it’ll be when he gives birth.”

“It’ll hurt but then the baby will come out and it won’t hurt anymore.”

Seth can’t help his chuckle, “Mama, you’re not helping. You’re making it sound so simple.”

“It is—what was inside of you eventually has to come out. And it will.”

“But not without making sure I go through excruciating pain first?”

“Not everyone,” Mama smiles, gaze briefly flickering to Seth before refocusing on the road.

“I feel sorry for Randy. Xavier is still going to cuss the fuck out of him.”

Mama laughs loudly, “We all do that. It’s their fault we find ourselves in these things anyway.”

“True,” Seth smiles. “I don’t know how my experience will be like though. _He_ won’t even be there.” He can’t help his train of thought.

“I can talk to him. It doesn’t have to be that way, Seth. I know my son, he’ll want to be there for you.”

“That would just make things awkward, Mama. What happens afterwards? He’d have to leave. I-I can’t have that. It would bring me nothing but heartache.”

“Seth, listen…”

“N-No I can’t, Mama. I refuse to put either of us through that pain.”

“Talk to him then. Find out how he feels. Because I have, and I am telling you that I know my son. He’ll want to have this with you more than anything in the world.”

“But it wouldn’t change the fact that he’d just abandon us afterwards. It would only be an illusion—us faking happy family for a few hours.”

“It…doesn’t have to be that way forever. After he gets help, patch things—”

“He broke up with me. That says enough.” Seth interrupts her. He’s grateful when they reach the hospital. He doesn’t want to talk about this anymore. All it’s doing is causing him heartache. Mama comes to his side, helping him out of the car. “Thank you.”

It hasn’t been that long that Xavier’s been brought into the hospital when they enter. It turns out that it hasn’t been that long that Randy’s arrived either. He’s at the information desk—intimidating everyone, like he usually does. “ _Where is he?_ ” Seth hears him ask, through gritted teeth.

The nurse at the desk is a stuttering mess, but another lady comes forward. She speaks to an agitated Randy before leading him to where Seth guesses they’ll find Xavier. “Let’s go after them…” Seth whispers urgently, yelling out Randy’s name. “Please wait!”

“How did this happen, Rollins?” is the first question he gets from an impassive doctor.

“I—his water just broke. A-After the shower, Dean noticed his pants were wet.”

Randy regards him blankly, nodding stiffly. “This is not supposed to be happening now. It’s too soon.”

“I know.”

“I—just hope he’ll be fine.”

“He will be, that boy may look innocent but beneath all that is a tough young man.” Mama smiles.

Randy observes her like he’s just noticed her presence. He probably has. “Who are you?” it’s asked in such a cold tone.

“Um, this is Roman’s mom. _The Queen of Lanuola—_ ” he gives Randy one hell of a stare down. The bastard isn’t even affected.

“My apologies. I’m just worried about Xavier. I’m honored to meet you.”

“It’s fine—I’m just excited for your spouse. You must be happy that you’re going to be a father.”

The lift doors open, and Randy walks out with the nurse first—in tense strides. “I am—don’t really have much of a choice.”

Mama looks between himself and Randy. Seth just shrugs, maybe he’ll tell her later because the whole thing’s a long story. “We’ll be in the waiting room,” Seth tells a distracted Randy. He’s not even acknowledged but he understands.

The hours go by, with Seth stuck in the waiting room with Mama. Naomi, Dean and Manuia come to join them eventually. Seth turns down Manuia’s offer to drive him home. But he’s grateful when they organize a couple of pillows for him so that he’s comfortable.

“Knock, knock…” it’s the nurse that guided them to the maternity ward.

“Are they okay, nurse?” Seth asks first, struggling and failing to stand up.

“Yes,” the dark skinned woman smiles at his impatience. “Healthy baby girl, weighing 6 pounds, 8 ounces. Nylah Adeline Rose Orton born September 22, 2018 at 10:25 p.m.”

“YES!” Dean’s the first one to rejoice. “I’m a fucking uncle!”

And then everyone one else joins in on it too.

Seth laughs through his tears, “Is it possible to see him—and the baby?”

“That’s why I’m here. He says the little one is ready to meet y’all.”

“Okay, Manuia help me up.” Seth instructs, lovingly rubbing his belly. He’s so happy right now—and Xavier giving birth to Nylah—it makes him feel closer to the quads somehow. A shaky smile stretches his lips as his little humans go insane—gutting his ribs. “Easy, easy now…” he whispers. “I love you too.”

Randy is standing next to Xavier when they enter his delivery room. He’s _beautiful._ Seth isn’t even exaggerating. You wouldn’t say that Xavier gave birth about an hour ago. He looks up at them, radiant—and smiles with the tears raining down his cheeks. “Hey, you guys.”

“Xavier!” Dean’s happiness is infectious. “Oh my god, Xavier you’re a mother! An actual mother.”

Mrs. Woods who was in the delivery room with Randy and Xavier chuckles. “My baby has a baby. He’s made me a grandmother so young.”

“I see right through you,” Mama answers, looking at the elderly woman. “Congratulations!”

“Thank you!” Randy, Xavier and Mrs. Woods say at the same time.

Chuckles sound in the room.

“Is everything okay with her? No complications since she was delivered before her time?” Manuia questions quietly.

“No. The doctor’s observed her as soon as she was born. She’s a healthy little girl—no complications whatsoever. Guess she just couldn’t wait any longer.” Xavier explains. “She brought me nothing but pain—” Randy snickers, causing Xavier to roll his eyes. “But I guess I also could’ve extended a bit of it to Randy.”

“A bit?” Randy raises an eyebrow. “Doll, you nearly broke my hand.”

“Guess I didn’t know my own strength. But I’m forgiven, aren’t I?”

“Like you ever give me a choice.” A kiss touches Xavier’s forehead. The sight is disgustingly sweet.

Despite that pang of jealousy, Seth smiles broadly—in love with this picture before his eyes. “Does it hurt?” Seth queries, as Xavier adjusts the baby in his arms. He’s feeding her.

“A bit,” Xavier’s cheeks heat up. “But it’s just weird mostly. I’m not used to it.”

“I’m sure it’ll get better.”

“Hope so,” Xavier grins. “Don’t be so shy—come meet her.”

“One at a time,” Randy mutters coldly. He’s even more intimidating than before.

Seth allows everyone to have their turn, deciding to see Nylah last. She’s a beautiful little star. Not that he’d expected anything less. Her parents are devastatingly gorgeous after all. Wisps of dark hair cover her scalp, her skin is a gorgeous tawny beige color. Her little mouth keeps on suckling onto Xavier’s dark nipple. And her tiny fists rest on the young man’s chest.

“I’m really happy to meet you, Nylah.” He whispers—eyes watering. What he’s feeling at the moment is excessive—love, fear, joy, gratitude—it’s _everything._ And it’s all hitting him at the same time. “Excuse me a moment,” he whispers, escaping to the hallway. Seth rests against the white walls, clutching his chest. _Call him._ The longing in his heart overwhelms him. He’s shaking as he retrieves his phone.

The phone remains in his hand while he battles on what to do. He just wants to hear _his_ voice. Not just remember it. But _hear_ it. How deep it sounds, how it rumbles sometimes. That’s all he’s craving. Before he can stop himself, Seth dials his number and puts the phone to his ear. It rings once, twice, thrice and maybe he should hang up because—

“Alofagia?”

_Oh god._

Seth struggles to find the words. This is wrong. He shouldn’t be doing this—he’s stirring up emotions when nothing can come of it. He wants to hang up—so _desperately._ But it’s _his_ voice, _his_ breath—ragged, stuttering as if he’s just as fearful. Roman doesn’t say anything else and neither does Seth. They both breathe into each other’s lines instead— _remembering_.

“I-I am so s-sorry,” Seth stutters when he breaks out of his stupor. He hangs up before Roman can respond.

_What the fuck were you thinking?_

The only thing that keeps him from banging his head against the walls is that he’s in a public space. But a few tears do escape, silent, sad. _I miss you so much._ If only he’d have the courage to voice his thoughts—to let _him_ know. But maybe that would be setting himself up for rejection. And his heart can’t handle that. He’s trying to calm down when his phone chirps with a message. _It’s from him._ What to do? _Open it._ His fingers quickly work against him.

_Roman: I’m glad you called, Seth._

Seth reads the message over and over again. What is that supposed to mean? He hasn’t an idea but it satisfies him somehow—sparks that miniscule hope he always tries to chase away. He takes a deep breath, wiping away his tears and readying himself to betray himself again—like he always does.

_Seth: Me too._

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	40. Chapter 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya!!! You guys, I'm extremely sorry for the silence but we're experiencing major loadshedding in my country. It's hell I tell you! So this chapter has been coming through quite slowly. I am not able to be productive as I'd like to be. And I dont know of we're going to have it today too, but I decided to quickly post this. 
> 
> Also, I'm not going to be able to reply to your previous comments tonight but I'll try tomorrow. Thank you so much for reading, and leaving the time to share your thoughts though!!! I really enjoy reading your insights.

“I’m very happy with this letter, Roman. Truly, I am. It signifies how far you’ve come—and the fact that you’re willing to share it with your family…” Dr. Carson’s lips stretch into the biggest smile—all straight, white gleaming teeth. “I want you to remember to do it in an environment you’re comfortable in—with the people you’re comfortable reading the letter to.”

“I’m glad you say that, Doc. For now, I think I’d like to read it to the closest members of my family. Jimmy, Jey, Nia, Tamina and my dad. My mom isn’t available, she’s in Tampa, but I want her to hear too.”

Dr. Carson nods, “You’ll keep the letter until you’re able to read it to her. After that, you can do with it what you want. Maybe you could share it with Seth, acknowledge the past to him too. I think it would help your relationship. Speaking of, you said something happened with him this past Saturday? Are you willing to share?”

“I…Seth called,” Roman wrings his hands together, brows knitting. “My cell...”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, I mean he didn’t say anything…just silence but he still called. And then he apologized at the end, right before he hung up.”

“And what about you—did you say anything?”

“No.”

Dr. Carson regards him with an inquisitive gaze, “How do you feel about the phone call?”

“I should’ve said something,” his tone is snappy—it comes out that way unintentionally. But he’s been beating himself up since this weekend. He can’t help it. “I should’ve talked to him, Doc. But I blew it, I just…froze. I haven’t talked to him in eleven weeks. That’s nearly… _three_ _months_.” He buries his face into his hands right after, groaning lowly. _It’s been three months._ “Fuck…” it’s whispered. Roman removes his sweater, feeling far too constricted. Rubbing his chest frantically, he parts his lips, fighting for air. 

“Take slow deep breaths,” Dr. Carson’s voice reaches his ears. “Good, I want you here with me. Focus on my voice—in 3, 2, 1—take another slow deep breath, hold it, and in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1; let it out just as slow.” They repeat the process for quite a while—it helps. Roman feels the tension seep out, bit by bit, but he’s still so hot. Standing on his feet, he goes to stand near the tall windows—welcoming the semi-fresh air. “Better?”

He nods. 

“Okay, great. I want us to go back to what you said. About you feeling that you could’ve said something to Seth. Do you have an idea, what you’d want to say to him?”

“Too many things.” Roman’s gaze briefly flickers to a patient looking Dr. Carson. “Apologize, I—am responsible for his pain. Tell him that I love him—all of him. And how I didn’t deserve him. And right now, I’d want to tell him that it would’ve been better if we never crossed paths but then I’d just be lying, Doctor. With everything I’ve put him through, I can’t bring myself to ever regret meeting him. I think given the chance…I’d want to re-meet him, and then do things differently—treat him better. He deserves better, he deserves the world. I said I’d give it to him and more but I…failed. I—couldn’t love him right.”

“Why? Why do you feel you weren’t loving him right, Roman?”

“I just wasn’t, Doc. It’s why I’m here.” He says dismissively. 

“Roman…” Dr. Carson starts softly, “I am proud of the progress you’ve made. I always tell you, even the smallest piece of information revealed shows resiliency. It’s just as important as the ‘big’ stuff. Right now, I’d like to learn more about Seth. I think we’ve been avoiding this topic long enough. Now that you’ve revealed the past, Tyler—the abortion, I want us to move on. Let’s talk about Seth. I’d like to know more about your relationship with him.”

_ Can of worms. She’ll judge you.  _ Roman closes his eyes, forcefully trying to drive every bad memory with  _ him  _ away. If she knows, if Dr. Carson finds out about how bad his relationship with Seth could be then she’ll just judge him. If she finds out how he’d…hurt Seth sometimes, then maybe she’ll drop him. Give up on him. Maybe in her eyes, he won’t be worthy of getting help anymore. “I…we had problems, so I let him go. I-I mean, I-I knew I wasn’t right for him so I let him go. After Nikki talked to me, I realized I wasn’t right for him. I really did, Doc. I promise you, that’s why I let him go. I-I let him go, okay?” the guilt is plaguing him, making his vision blur a bit. “So you don’t have to be worried about anything.”

“Worried? Why would I be worried?”

“Forget it, Doc.”  _ Coward.  _ Nikki’s voice rings in his ears—unwelcome. Roman cocks his head to the side, emotional frustration building up. His conscious is trying to so hard to refute Nikki’s words but his mind’s taunting him—replaying bad memory after bad memory. “My cousins told me to try and win him back—I was ready to. But now…” he shakes his head stubbornly. “No, I can’t do that. I can’t mess with—him like that.”

“Why do you feel that way?” 

_ You’re not going to understand.  _ Judgement, Roman can’t deal with it now. He’ll only slip into his dark hole again, and he’s trying so hard to stay away from it.  

“Roman…this is a safe place, okay?  _ It’s your safe place.  _ Everything you say here, stays here. I am not here to judge you, never that. What I’m hoping to achieve is to guide you to the best life possible. I am hoping to guide you to your best life, possible despite your past. So you can tell me anything.”

Silence. 

Dr. Carson sighs, but it doesn’t sound frustrated. “Let’s try a different approach. I’ll ask you a few basic questions about Seth. Answer what you can, we’ll leave any other ones for next time.”

He’s still hesitant, and reluctantly, Roman nods okay. His gaze remains focused on the passing life though, he won’t look Dr. Carson in the eyes. He won’t be able to stand her condemnation. 

“Good. Could you tell me about your first meeting with Seth?”

“The very first time, I still don’t remember much about that day. It was at some park in Tampa. I wasn’t fine Doc, so I barely noticed him. He’s still mad at me for that,” Roman smiles at the memories. 

Dr. Carson chuckles. “Why?”

Roman shrugs, “He remembers…me, everything about me and I can’t remember much about him.” 

“I see, well it’s hard to blame him then,” Dr. Carson’s melodious laughter still continues. “What about your second meeting?” 

Ah, the second time…

Roman scratches his beard, brows knitting together. That second meeting, one of the many times that he’d hurt Seth. He’s still so ashamed about the way he treated Seth that day. “I—the second time I met him was at his apartment. I don’t know if you read about my alleged association to him. I was at home in Lanuola when I saw it on the media. The only thing I could think about was punishing him, Doc. I only had memories of Tyler’s mom—and I don’t know…him being a prostitute rubbed me the wrong way. So I said some things, hurtful things, that I still regret saying. He forgave me, like he always does—even though I was unworthy.”

“Hurtful?”

“Attention-seeking whore, scum, garbage…I wanted to hurt him.” His breathing becomes labored again, and if he weren’t in Dr. Carson’s office at the moment then he’d remove every piece of clothing. 

“Because of Tyler’s mother…”

A stiff head nod. 

“Okay, and where these your first impressions of him?”

“Partly. I thought he looked—beautiful too. The first thing I noticed were his eyes, Doc. So big and innocent-looking. Seth has an…innocence about him that I don’t get. His body was just a bonus, I remember he was wearing an oversized t-shirt—it looked good on him.”

“He is beautiful,” Dr. Carson smiles. “From the pictures I’ve seen. Let’s talk about the change in your relationship. How it transitioned from you wanting to hurt him to you wanting more. Do you remember when you started feeling that way? Why the change?”

Roman sighs, going back to settle on the leather chair. “After he got injured, I offered him a job. He accepted, and moved to the mansion. It wasn’t supposed to be for long, just until he was fine to live on his own. The…feelings, I thought he was good-looking from the first meeting. At the beginning, I’d say it wasn’t anything more than physical attraction until I saw him with that hipster friend of his… _ Elias. _ ”

“What happened? ”

“It’s a long story, but Seth started attending college not far from our offices. On his first day, he made friends with the guy. They looked so cozy, Doc—that man sat there, touching Seth and it was disgusting…” unconsciously Roman’s hands clench into tight fists, chest constricting at the memory. “I watched it all from a distance, their entire interaction. It felt as if I was being ripped apart. When Seth finally met my eye, he looked guilty. I don’t know—it made me angrier. Why would he feel guilty if he weren’t doing anything wrong? We went home, and then at home…” he rubs his chest looking Dr. Carson in the eye. “I’m not going to lie Doc, I was ready to wreak havoc on him but Manuia spoke to me, managed to calm me down—even if it only lasted a short while.”

“Oh?”

Roman nods, sighing loudly. “After Manuia left, Seth kissed me. I—maybe he was compensating for the guilt he felt.”

Dr. Carson crosses her legs, her gaze unwavering. “Is that what you think? Do you feel that that was his reason for kissing you? Don’t you think there’s a possibility that he may’ve kissed you because he had feelings for you—even then?”

“I mean, I know now. But back then, the thoughts crossing my mind were dark ones. So I pushed him away, and I bailed. I found myself in Tampa.”

For the first time since their session began, Dr. Carson scribbles something on her notepad. Roman tries not let it get to him—he doesn’t want his mind to stray too much. “For how long did you stay in Tampa?”

“Less than a day. I went to our offices after, that’s where Manuia found me. He’s the one who talked some sense into me. He’s the reason I even had a relationship with Seth.”

“Okay, so you went back home. And you talked things out with Seth?”

“Yes.”

“Did you explain your feelings to him? Why you felt the need to escape?”

“He knows I couldn’t stand seeing him with that man.”

Dr. Carson shakes her head, “Why did you run away, Roman?”

“Because…he was kissing me, less than an hour after he was acting cozy with another man! He was making me—” shaking his head, Roman cuts himself short. Part of him doesn’t want to talk anymore. 

“What?” 

Silence. 

“Why did you run away?” Dr. Carson repeats, tone calm. 

Roman cuts his eyes at Dr. Carson—he’s not sure why. Agitation is building within him, making him tap his foot up and down. His fists are clenching tightly too. Opening his mouth, a few words quickly leave him. “Because I was looking out for myself, Doc. I—didn’t want to fall. It’s a weakness, it means the other person has a power over you. Being in love means you’re at their mercy. I—didn’t want that for myself. It happened with Tyler, I couldn’t allow it to happen with Seth too. I couldn’t.”

Another scribble on her notepad. “Did you express these views to Seth?” 

Roman releases an involuntary snort, “That would mean showing weakness again. It still leaves you at your partner’s mercy.”

“Mhm…your version of a no.” Dr. Carson smiles. 

“Have you ever allowed yourself to be ‘weak’ around Seth, Roman? Consciously allow yourself to be vulnerable?”

“The first time I…our first sexual intimacy—I allowed him to see. To see me a bit. The other times, maybe it was without notice—I can recall a few times.”

“I see…” Dr. Carson nods, “Can I ask you a question? Do you feel that you can be vulnerable with Seth? I know that you’re not together at the moment, but if things were different, do you think you could be vulnerable with him?”

Roman’s about to answer yes, but hesitates.  _ No, you couldn’t.  _ Deep down, he knows that he wouldn’t be able to show Seth his vulnerability. Not fully. Not willingly. He wouldn’t want Seth to see every facet of him. He wouldn’t want Seth to know every nuance that makes Roman Leati Joseph Reigns Anoa’i. 

“Roman?” Dr. Carson coaxes quietly. 

“No.” Roman puts his head in his hands, “Not now—not y-yet.”

“It’s completely understandable to not be ready—at least temporarily. I’ll commend you for trying to have a relationship after your past—it takes courage to try again. But it takes greater courage to allow ourselves to be vulnerable with the ones we love. To show every facet, to be seen, to talk about what you’re feeling, and to have the hard conversations. It takes courage Roman, but a relationship in which both partners allow themselves to be vulnerable is still so fulfilling. It is not a weakness. It’s not.”

Roman listens attentively, nodding earnestly. He gets what Dr. Carson is saying, he does. It’s just after Tyler, he told himself never again. He tried to be vulnerable with Seth, where he could—it never worked out pretty well. His fault of course, he knows how hard it is for him to reveal himself—all of himself. With Manuia, it’s a bit easier but it’s never completely. And Seth…he hardly gets anything. 

Dr. Carson’s sigh draws him to back to earth. “Our time is up. But I have a task for you—almost similar to the one I gave you a while ago. I want you to think about why it’s hard for you to open up—to be vulnerable. And how it is affecting your relationships. As well as your relationship with Seth. Also draw up a list on how being vulnerable could better your relationships. You may or may not realize but when you’re here, you’re being vulnerable. That letter you wrote, it took courage for you to write it—that signifies vulnerability again. You’re already on your way, Roman. You’re revealing all these different facets of you—I think you may as well soldier on. If you continue down this path…you’re only bettering yourself. I want you to take that with you. Vulnerability is courage.”

“Thank you, Doc.”

“It’s a pleasure. I’ll see you on Friday. I still want us to discuss more about your relationship with Seth, okay?”

Roman stiffness briefly at the door, he lifts his chin, squaring his shoulders in fake nonchalance. “I’ll see you around, Doc.” He walks out of Dr. Carson’s office in tense strides.

* * *

 

“Oh my god, you don’t listen. I swear if you weren’t pregnant, I’d strangle your ass!” Naomi rolls her eyes immediately they connect with Seth. “What are you doing here, boo thang? We have everything under control—you’re supposed to be  _ resting _ .”  

Seth has the decency to look a bit guilty. He flashes Naomi, and everyone else in the babies’ nursery (they’re all giving him the stinky eye) an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry but I’m tired of resting. I wanted to see how the nursery’s coming along.”

“He wants to make sure that we’re doing it the way he wants.” Dean translates, flashing a mischievous smile. 

Seth gains his own stinky eye—glowering at his friend. “That is not—that is true actually,” folding his arms on top of his large bump, he waddles inside the nursery. “My babies deserve the best, and it’s my duty to ensure that you lot deliver. Plus, I want to help around a bit too. Seriously, lying around the couch isn’t doing me any good. All it’s doing is making me more exhausted. I need to move around a bit…please.”

A collective of sighs. 

“Okay…what should he do guys?” Manuia caves first, looking between Dean and Naomi. 

“Um, occupy the rocking chair.” Dean says with a ‘duh’ expression on his face. “He can just rock back and forth while we do everything. That should be exercise enough.”

“Very funny, Deano.” Seth picks a stack of different colored boxes—all shoe boxes, but they are not the same size. “These look gorgeous. Where are they going?”

“On top of that shelve,” Manuia points to the little built-in white shelf on one corner of the room. “Dean thought we could stack all three of them on top of each other. Don’t worry, they won’t look drab. We’re going to place those two stuffy lions we bought next to them. And Dean here managed to find your vintage camera, it’s going to on top of the boxes.”

“Okay…” Seth is not yet sold on their idea, but he likes the cardboard boxes. He likes the colors, they are subtle enough to fit in with the rest of the room. He finally decided on definite colors about a week ago. With no specific theme in mind, he’s just decided to go with silver grey, white and a bit of gold to replace the peach color he wanted before. 

The gold will match the elegant cribs that arrived by truck a day after his baby shower. Roman went totally overboard when buying the gifts for the babies. The cribs are made of complete gold, with diamonds encrusted on them. He bought a beautiful natural wood dresser, a very comfortable mustard nursery chair that Seth likes to occupy in the silence of the night when everyone has gone to sleep. And there’s large stuffed baby giraffes with letters from A until D. 

And speaking of Roman—they…talk. Or at least they’re trying to. Seth last received a call from him a few days ago, when the royal was calling to know how his 28 th week appointment went with his doctors. It’s all they can talk about, at least for now. The previous week, when Xavier had given birth, Seth had still been dumfounded by his actions. But the second time around, it was easier, maybe because it’s Roman who reached out first this time. 

Seth still has no idea what this new development means for them. He’s not going to lie, sometimes he allows himself the illusion of a happy family. He daydreams, plays a few pictures in his mind—revolving around himself, Roman and their babies. Deep down, he wants it—so badly. Sometimes he wants it so badly it aches physically. But Roman… 

He left. 

The royal bailed, breaking more than just Seth’s heart in the process. And sure, they may be trying to reconnect now but Roman hasn’t said anything about their relationship. Seth felt like he was talking to a distant family member during their conversation. He felt like he was talking to Roman’s father. That’s how weird he felt their conversation had been. And right before Roman ended the call, he’d told Seth to tell the babies he loves them while Seth got…nothing. Nothing but a ‘Can I call you again sometime?’ 

It sucks. And maybe it’s proof that the bastard doesn’t care. Proof that Seth is pining over someone who got over him so long ago. Which is strange because everyone in Roman’s family always tells him the same thing: ‘Roman loves you, Seth.’ But it’s hard to believe when the man can get those words out only to their babies but not to him. It only adds to Seth’s confusion—a confusion he doesn’t need. Not with how messed up his brain is already. 

“What are you thinking so hard about?”

“Huh?” Seth looks up to find an amused giant looking down at him. 

“What’s wrong, Seth?”

“Nothing’s wrong.” Seth shakes his head, sighing softly. 

Manuia cocks a dark brow, he looks exactly like Roman in this moment. Seth tries to ignore that pang of longing. “You’re biting that bottom lip very hard. Plus your right eyebrow is arched up really high.”

Dammit! He’s just like Roman. 

“I’m quite confused, Manuia…” Seth starts, not really sure why he’s even revealing anything. 

“That’s your anthem these days,” Manuia teases. 

Seth would laugh if he had the energy but it’s suddenly just vanished. He’s exhausted now, and would love more than anything to go back to the living room for some much needed rest. “Can we go back to the living room?”

“Sure,” Manuia looks over his shoulder, finding a giggling Naomi. “Will y’all be okay to finish up on your own?” Naomi and Dean nod yes. “Alright. Let’s go.” 

When they enter the living room, Seth decides that getting some food wouldn’t be a bad idea. He’s ravenous, and would probably eat an elephant all on his own. Today, he’s in ‘fuck everything’ mood so it’s fuck his weight too. He’s not going to break down in tears over it—no Sir, not today. “Can you make me something to eat? I’m starving.”

“I thought we were going to talk,” Manuia gains a bewildered expression. 

“I am a multitasker. If I can talk and eat at the same time, I don’t think making me food while talking should be a challenge for you.”

“You’re disgusting,” Manuia sticks his tongue out. 

Tears well up in Seth’s eyes, lips trembling. He sniffles softly, nodding his head. 

“Now Seth…” Manuia starts in a panicky tone, lifting his hands in a peaceful gesture. “I didn’t mean to upset you. I was just—”

Seth interrupts Manuia’s speech with loud cackles, “You should’ve seen your face. Priceless!” 

“Wait…” Manuia eyes him up and down, gaining a little glare. “You fucking brat. That wasn’t funny—I seriously thought the heavy waterworks were about to begin again.”

“I’m not sorry—you called me disgusting. Now can you head to the kitchen and make my food please?”

“Yes, Your Highness.” Manuia rolls his eyes. “What will it be today, sire? Beef, chicken, lamb?”

“Stop it,” Seth continues with his cackles, a bit more silent now though. “You make the best cheese burgers, Manu. So that’s what we’re craving. I’ll pass the time with those left over Chicken Salad Bites from this morning.” He follows Manuia into the kitchen. “Thank you.” He smiles when Manuia helps him get settled on the cushioned chair meant only for him. 

“So you wanted to talk?” Manuia grabs a bowl filled with the chicken leftover to warm up in the microwave. “What has you so confused, sweetheart?”

“Your…brother.” Seth caresses his belly, smiling through his pained breath. Breathing is still so problematic for him. Every time he talks, he has to pause to suck in some air. “You know he called on Friday—right after m-my appointment.”

“Mhm,” Manuia places the bowl of food in front of him. 

“Thanks. Um, so, I don’t know. We, uh, we talked Manuia. It was…awkward. I swear I felt like I was speaking to his father. It’s true…” he says, rolling his eyes at Manuia’s loud laughs. “I just…I’m not really used to hearing him like that. Even when he’d be mad at home, it was never so…offish—cold, almost. Like…strangers.” His voice turns wobbly suddenly, annoying him in the process. Shying away from Manuia’s unreadable, intense glance, Seth roots his eyes to his plate. “One of the last things he said to me was, ‘Tell the babies I love them so much.’ And that was it. What…about me, Manuia?”

“Did you want him to say that?”

“I—I am still in love with him.”

“Should’ve told him then.”

Seth glares, “It’s not that simple. I—am not sure how he feels about me. He’s not making it easy for me, not with that phone call we had.”

Manuia momentarily pauses his task of combining the beef patty mixture. Seth thinks his confused expression mirrors his own. Only, Manuia has it better than him because he doesn’t have to deal with the pain that comes with the confusion. 

“We talked this morning, and one of the last things that he said to me is that he loves all of you. You’re his family—but right now, he doesn’t feel worthy to profess his love for you. Not with how therapy is going at the moment.”

Seth freezes, fork paused halfway to his mouth. What could possibly be wrong with therapy? He’s been doing so well. Roman’s been doing so well. Manuia never misses an opportunity to express how proud he is of Roman’s progress. And Manuia said Roman doesn’t feel worthy of declaring his love for him. “What’s going on with his therapy, Manuia? I hope he’s not thinking about q-quitting. From what you tell me, he’s been doing great. He—has come so far. He can’t undo all that, he just can’t.” Seth shakes his head furiously, bottom lip jutted out in sudden anxiety. 

“He’s still doing the therapy, sweetheart.” Manuia’s telling the truth, Seth can see it in his eyes. “It’s harder than it was before because he’s confronting other issues other than Tyler and he’s a bit reluctant…”

“The abortion?”

“No.”

“Then what?”

Manuia tugs his earlobe, something Seth has noticed he does absently—when he’s anxious or reluctant to share. It feels like forever before Manuia opens his mouth again, “You,” it’s whispered, Manuia’s lips press into a thin line right after. 

Silence comes from Seth’s end this time. He’s still trying to process what Manuia has said, the implication of his words. His heart rate has picked up though, matching the rapid blinking of his eyes. Seth’s frozen in place, heart on the verge of exploding. “I…don’t t-think that I-I understand, Manuia. M-Me?”

An affirmative nod from Manuia, he’s gone back to his task of making the burgers. The aromas floating in the kitchen are heavenly but Seth can feel his appetite slowly vanishing. He’s not sure if he can even finish the food in his bowl. His entire mind is running haywire, only confusing him further. “Yes, sweetheart. With Tyler and the abortion—it took hard work but he isn’t running away from it anymore. He’s not running away from his past. When we spoke a few days ago, he read this…letter. About Tyler and forgiveness. About loss. I was the first one he read it to, the family will be next.”

Manuia again, getting something. You’d swear the two of them were dating. It’s the bond they share, they have been together for a long time after all so Seth understands. But it…bothers him sometimes. He can’t help but feel…jealous. Left out. Doesn’t he deserve just as much as Manuia? Doesn’t he deserve more? When they were together, hadn’t he proved himself worthy? It…hurts sometimes. And it’s not fair to feel any sort of resentment towards Manuia but he does. Sometimes he does. It’s pointless lying about it. 

“I see…” he blinks rapidly, annoyed by his blurry vision. Clearing his throat, Seth queries softly, “What about me are they discussing?”

“Everything. Your—relationship. Dr. Carson feels he’s ready to talk about it, now that he’s acknowledged the past. He now has to examine how his past has negatively impacted his relationships. Both with Nikki and yourself. Mostly you, because he was with you longer, and too much…happened.”

“When did he begin this?”

“This Monday. Part of him is struggling all over again but it’s necessary.” 

Seth nods his head, although his anxiety has increased tenfold. He has no exact reason why but he’s worried. Partly for Roman, what it must be like discussing their relationship. Partly for himself, although he’s saddened too. Because Manuia revealing this just brings back each and every memory. It brings back concealed frustrations, heartaches, anger. It brings back the entire emotional rollercoaster. 

“They’re going to confront everything?”

Manuia’s lips are pursed tensely, he only nods affirmative. 

“Good. He needs to learn how to…love. And how you treat the ones you claim to love.” Seth gets out shakily. He loathes how painfully his heart is clenching. “I—am happy for him.”

“What about you?” Manuia nails him with an observant gaze. 

“What about me?”

“You know, with everything that’s happened, you haven’t talked much about your relationship with Roman, Seth. I feel like you’re avoiding talking about him—even to your friends. What about you? How you feel? The breakup. The entirety of your relationship. You never talk about any of it, Seth.”

“Because it’s private!” 

“You’re getting agitated. Why?”

“Are you psychoanalyzing me now?” Seth glares, hands trembling. He can feel himself on the verge of crying, he just doesn’t know why. “Quit it. You have no right to do that, Manuia.”

“I just want to know, Seth. You’ve had no one to talk to, and you’re my family too. I’m here for you just as much as I am for Roman. If you’re not comfortable with me then try your friends. Or better yet, a therapist. But it wouldn’t be a bad idea for you to talk to someone too.”

“I-I, please quit this. I—don’t want to talk, Manuia.” It’s whispered, begging. 

“Why? Why is it so hard for you to open up?”

“Manuia, please…” Seth thinks his pain is palpable—it floats around the entire kitchen, taunting him. 

“I just want—” 

“Manuia! It hurts, okay?!” Seth takes a deep breath, wiping his tears. He’s not sure when they broke free. “It hurts, and it’s frustrating—and I’m a fool for loving him. A-And I-I am conflicted, I don’t know what’s going on with my mind. I love the same person who’s responsible for my pain. The s-same man who scares me sometimes, when he gets too angry. It always be took me back to that night at Xavier’s—when I thought he’d h-hurt me. But I still love him,” Seth shrugs, laughing mirthlessly. “I love him so much.”

“Does he know?”

“That I love him? Sure he does, maybe not how hard I actually do because he left me. But he must know that I love him.”

Manuia shakes his head, “I’m talking about the other things, sweetheart. Does he know how you feel sometimes? The negative emotions?”

The tears start afresh from Seth, he really doesn’t know why he’s crying but something’s not right. Something’s not right with him, his heart. It aches badly, he tries to take steady breaths—rubbing his bump in soothing circles. “I—didn’t want him to leave. Like he did, after I told him how I felt.”

“Not because he wanted to hurt you, Seth. It’s your honesty—and sure, Nikki may’ve behaved like a bitch but her hard words kinda helped. It’s because of your honesty that he’s doing this. Relationships fail without honest communication, Seth. I—feel you should’ve said something.”

“Sometimes…I wanted to. I really did, but I mostly just wanted him to get better first. I—didn’t want to distract him.”

“And who was taking care of you? Or attending to your feelings?” Manuia questions softly. “I know how much you love my brother, Seth. But loving him does not mean neglecting yourself in the process. I am here, utilize me. I won’t force you to, because the option of a therapist is also available to you. Please consider one.”

“Loving him—it’s like falling in love with a windstorm. He’s a windstorm,” Seth reveals softly—his words are meant for himself more than they are for Manuia. “And the funny thing is I still wouldn’t want anyone else. Every other man pales in comparison to him. He’s everything—my happiness and my sadness. He’s my high just as much as he’s my low. The only one I love enough to hate. Roman’s the only one who can make me feel so many contradicting emotions.” 

“But you had good times too right? The bad doesn’t overshadow the good?”

“It doesn’t ” Seth admits, fond smile playing at his lips. “I—just know that he was doing it all wrong but I felt like he loved me. I—he’d treat me like a prince, Manuia. Nikki said he has a way with people—that he can make you feel like you’re the only one in the entire galaxy. I agree.”

“That’s how he loves, Seth. Yes, he’s fucked up—I admit, but he loves you. You have no idea how much you mean to him. You’re his universe, sweetheart. It’s the reason he’s trying so hard with therapy. He’s not giving up. Maybe you should try—follow his lead. You’re clearly not completely okay. I know you have so much on your mind—and I don’t want to stress you out. Think about it, you can always find a therapist, even after the birth of the babies. But you need to reveal your heartbreak—don’t bottle things on the inside.”

“I’ll think about it,” Seth sighs softly. He will. Not right now, but he can always revisit Manuia’s suggestion. Right now, the only thing that constantly occupies his mind are the babies and their father. But talking to someone…perhaps it wouldn’t be a bad idea. He  _ needs  _ someone to  _ talk  _ to. To reveal his heartbreak, his pain, sadness, anger, his desolation to. “I promise you.”

Manuia kisses his hair, “That’s what I like to hear, sweetheart. And about Roman reading that letter to me first—I don’t want you to read too much into it. He’s comfortable revealing a few things to me, Seth. But that’s only because we’ve been brothers for such a long time. He’s going to get there with you too. I—Roman and I, we don’t see each other that way. Bobby’s my soulmate, I could never love another soul like I do his. It’s the same with Roman—no one could ever take your place in his eyes. You’re all he sees, Seth.  _ He’s in love with you— _ and I will tell you everyday. I’ll tell you until it sinks into your stubborn skull. He. Loves. You.”

“You’re just like him—you love making me c-cry,” Seth whispers shakily, futilely wiping his overflowing tears. “I—wouldn’t mind hearing those words coming from  _ him  _ though.”

“One of these days, you just might.” Manuia winks. “Here’s your food. Do you want more Grape juice?”

“Sure, thank you Manuia.”

* * *

 

“Roman, glad to see you back.” Dr. Carson begins, smile on her face as they settle on opposite chairs. “How are you feeling today?”

“I—can’t complain, Doc.” Roman shrugs, scratching his beard. He’s been thinking about shaving it a lot lately but something always prevents him from doing so. Seth. No one else but him. Even though he’s not here, Roman still remembers the brunet’s weird obsession with his beard. How he loves it. So he’s been keeping it—even though he’s not really fond of it. Because of hygiene issues. 

“Alright, could you tell me about your weekend? Anything I need to know about?”

“Had a boring weekend,” Roman sits back on the couch. “Jimmy’s visiting his wife in Tampa. Jey took Patrick on a vacation to our country. It was just me and my thoughts.”

“That’s great actually. We discover a few things about ourselves while in solitude.”

Roman shakes his head, “Only if that’s your intention, Doc. I wasn’t trying to learn anything about myself.”

“So you didn’t discover anything?”

“Not really, I was mostly just reflecting on what you said about opening up. I—want to try with Seth. If I pursue him again, I’d like to try. Being closed up has caused a lot of problems for me, our relationship. I see what you mean now, when you say an open relationship is most fulfilling. When I think about it, opening up could’ve maybe prevented a lot of things that took place between us.”

“Good, that’s very good.”

“Yeah, it’s a fucking misfortune that I realized too late.”

Dr. Carson shakes her head, “There’s no such thing as ‘too late’ Roman. Not while you’re still alive. Anyway, is there anything else you’d like to talk about?”

“Not that I can think of.” Roman shrugs absently. 

“Alright, well I have something I’d like to discuss with you.” 

“Go ahead, I’m all ears.” 

“Coping.” Dr. Carson reveals, looking up from her notepad. “The last time we talked, you mentioned a host of feelings associated with your past? How did you cope when they’d resurface?”

Roman’s brows knit in confusion. Blinking rapidly, he tells Dr. Carson, “We discussed this before, Doc.” 

“I know…maybe I didn’t say that right. In your relationships, the feelings would resurface. They never went away. Just like the memories. So I want to know if your coping mechanisms that you told me about before were the same. And if so, how did it affect your relationships?”

“They both hated it when I’d disappear.” Roman groans, rubbing his face tiredly. “I—think Nikki had it worse. I once left her for nearly week, and when I came back—I just moved on. Kept silent as if it hadn’t happened. The longest I’ve ever done it with Seth was close to a day—I could never stay away from him for too long, no matter how much I wanted to. I didn’t want to put him through the hell Nikki went through. I—tried my best, it wasn’t really enough.”

“How did it make them feel—your disappearances?” 

“They’d cry—I’m sure you can figure it all out, Doc.” It’s getting hot, Roman makes a conscious effort not to remove any piece of clothing. 

“Would you ever discuss it afterwards, why you left?”

“Why would I discuss something I was running away from, Doc?”

“That openness…” Dr. Carson trails off. 

Roman sighs, wringing his fingers together. “I—know that now. The only time I discussed it with Seth was on that day I’d—hurt him.”

Dr. Carson scribbles on her notepad. “You mention ‘hurting’ Seth a lot—but never how…”

Silence. 

Roman tenses. He’s apprehensive, his gaze goes to his knotted fingers. “There’s a lot of ways I hurt Seth. Too many of them that I’m not proud of. I—Doc, I…when I hurt him—I’d….hurting him meant using—his body.”

“Use his body how?”

Roman’s eyes close, jaw locking painfully. “Sexually—sexually, I’d use his body. So violently that he’d struggle to make the slightest movement the following day. I won’t even get started on his body. I did that to him, I—” Roman shudders, taking a rasping breath. “I was hurting him.”

Silence from Dr. Carson this time. 

He knew this would happen. Roman knew this would happen. He shouldn’t have said anything. Roman keeps his gaze rooted to his hands, he’s not courageous enough to look Dr. Carson in the eye. “I’ll understand if you want to cut ties, Doc. I—hate me too. I hate myself for what I did to him. He deserves better.” He whispers. 

“I’m sorry, it’s just—I needed time to process this. When you say you’d use his body sexually—Roman, I have to know how. Have you ever forced yourself on him?”

“I…don’t think so.” Roman shakes his head furiously. “I—wouldn’t d-do that, Doc. I—no.”

“What would happen the next day? After using his body?”

“Sometimes I’d go to work, sometimes I’d stay to take care of him.”

“And what would he say, the day after?”

“We usually…we never talked about it.”

“Why?”

“I…don’t know,” Roman tries to chase the memories away. They haunt him unlike anything else. It’s pure torture. Taking off his dress shirt happens unconsciously. The heat is getting to him. 

“I see…” another scribble to her notepad. “How would you feel afterwards? After the sex?”

“Like a monster,” Roman speaks through clenched teeth, “You have no idea how torturous it would be the following day. I—couldn’t look him in the eyes. I’d do my best to—avoid him.”

“I don’t want you to find my question insensitive but why?”

She doesn’t have to finish. Roman knows exactly what she’s asking. Despite having removed his shirt, he still feels suffocated. He’s too tense, gaze going anywhere but Dr. Carson. “It’s inexcusable, Doc—what I did to him. But sometimes—it would be without notice, something I couldn’t control, those times were the worst because it meant more damage. The other times, I just wanted to get rid of the pain. To drive everything away.”

“By hurting him?”

Roman would think he were being judged if her tone weren’t so calm. The question is an innocent, he knows it. But it still doesn’t make it any easier for him to answer. That would mean opening another can of worms. His admittance would mean another confrontation. Roman starts rocking back and forth, trying to remove himself from this situation. He doesn’t want to do this anymore. He refuses. 

“Roman? I want you here with me.”

_ I don’t want to be here.  _ Roman frowns. Is he the only one feeling this heat? His entire body is feverish. His lips are chapped, so Roman wets them with his tongue. “It’s too hot, Doc.” 

“Why don’t you try standing by the windows?”

Roman obeys. 

“I want us to continue—if you’re willing.”

Roman remains silent for a while, tempted to say no. It’s so tempting but he wants to improve. He’s here because he doesn’t want the same things he’s running away from to happen again. He doesn’t want to  _ hurt  _ Seth. So he nods okay, gaze locked onto the passing life on the streets. 

“You said that the other times you wanted to chase everything away—I’m guessing it’s the memories of Tyler and the feelings that come with remembering.”

A head nod. 

“So your way of coping—of dealing with those negative feelings—was to use Seth’s body?”

Another nod. 

“His body was one of your coping mechanisms.”

Another reluctant nod. 

“Do you enjoy hurting Seth, Roman? Do you enjoy using his body in a way that hurts him?”

“No,” Roman says stiffly. 

“I see…” Dr. Carson closes her notepad. “I wish we could continue but our session’s up. I do have a task for you though. You told me you hate using Seth’s body in a way that hurts him but it would still happen. I want you to think long and hard about the reason for this. We’ll discuss it on Friday. I’m not going to lie, I am also concerned about Seth—his wellbeing. The truth is this has to have affected him as well, Roman. If the opportunity were to present itself, I’d like to talk to him too…”

“Can’t. He’s in Tampa, Doc.” Roman says quickly, way too quickly. 

“I know, it’s unfortunate. But you told me that you’re both reconnecting. If you could convince him to see a therapist that side…it would really help him. I can’t speak for him, but surely this ‘intimacy’ has affected him too somehow. As well as the other things you mentioned. I am by no means painting you in a bad light but the relationship the two of you had clearly had a few problems. And while you are getting help, I think it’s important for him to do the same too.”

Roman nods dutifully, solemnly. Nikki’s words play in his mind. She told him that he destroys what he claims to love. Maybe she was right. And he’s so selfish that he didn’t think to grant Seth the liberty of a therapist too. He’s been too busy trying to fix himself that he didn’t think to ensure that any chaos he created would be sorted. “I’ll get him a therapist, Doc. I…promise,” a guilty sigh leaves him. 

“That’s a really great idea. Talk to him about it first though, okay?”

“Okay.”

“I’ll see you on Friday, Roman.” 

Fixing his shirt, Roman makes sure he looks presentable before stepping out of Dr. Carson’s office. He bids the receptionist goodbye before leaving to the parking lot. It’s not that hard to find his car. The red Maserati stands out in a plethora of black and silver grey cars. 

He makes it to the office a little later than usual, he took a detour to his and Manuia’s favorite Polynesian restaurant. He ate his breakfast at the restaurant, with Manuia in Tampa, it’s not as fun to eat at the office. 

Roman buries himself into his work—it’s another coping mechanism of his. A safe one. He has back to back meetings with business associates and where he’d normally be annoyed, he’s grateful for the distraction. It’s very late into the evening when he finally decides to go home. It’s 08:00 p.m. to be precise. He makes it to the mansion at 09:00. 

The house is eerily empty, like it always is. Masina has tried multiple times to get him to come home earlier so that herself, Bobby and him can have dinner together as a ‘family’ but Roman’s never in the mood. It’s been that way since  _ he  _ moved out. It was easier when Seth was living a few minutes away but now it’s getting harder and harder. 

He doesn’t even go to the kitchen, where he knows Masina’s left him a plate of food. He’s not that hungry. The last meal he had was at 04:00 p.m. A sandwich that Bayley had ordered for him because she’s worried he’s going to ‘starve himself to death.’ She’s an annoying mother—just like Masina. Speaking of mothers…Roman remembers to send his mom a quick goodnight text. The women in his life are always so overbearing, and his mother complains if she doesn’t hear from him for longer than four hours. 

After taking a cold shower, Roman falls on his cold bed. A glance at the clock tells him it’s twenty minutes after nine. He’s not going to be sleeping anytime soon. He knows it. And he doesn’t want to think about how viciously cold this bedroom is. It feels too large, gigantic, foreign. It’s the third guestroom he’s occupied in three months. But it still feels as cold as the other ones. 

Opening the bedside drawer, he retrieves a few pictures stacked in there. Pictures of Seth, of their babies. Roman forces the tears away as he fixates on one picture after the other. There are thick lumps in his throat that are making it hard for him to breathe. The last picture he fixes his gaze on is recent. Taken by Manuia, it features a heavily pregnant Seth walking around in nothing but a sweater that Roman recognizes as his own and boy shorts. The sweater is probably a size smaller than him. With him in his 29 th week of pregnancy, Seth is huge. Roman didn’t think that humans could get that big but Seth is still so beautiful. He’s still so angelic, despite his messy hair and sleepy face. 

The minutes pass by with Roman fixated on the picture. It forces him to think about his session with Dr. Carson earlier today. Roman groans softly, not wanting to do this tonight.  But the thoughts are still there. The memories of his session still so fresh.  _ I don’t enjoy hurting you.  _ He tells a brunet who isn’t in his presence. Roman doesn’t, he doesn’t enjoy hurting Seth. But sometimes…he can’t help it. Sometimes…he can’t help his anger—misdirected like almost everything that concerns Seth. 

Part of him, deep inside, knows he’s making Seth pay for the pain he had nothing to do with. He’s making Seth pay for someone else’s sins. Maybe it’s the reason he keeps hurting Seth. Maybe he wants the wrong person to pay. And it’s not right. It’s not fair on Seth. He deserves so much better—the entire universe. And Dr. Carson mentioned a therapist…

Seth needs one. 

Roman doesn’t just want to take care of him financially. He genuinely wants Seth to be happy—in every aspect. Mind, body and soul. After everything he’s been through—that Roman’s put him through, it’s only fair that Roman attempt to repair whatever he may have broken. It’s a shame he hadn’t had the opportunity with Nikki but he can do it with Seth. 

_ Roman: You’re starting therapy on Wednesday. She’s going to come to your house.  _

His hands type faster than his mind can process, sending the message even faster. Shit! If Dr. Carson were to find out she’d be disappointed in him. She told him, Dr. Carson told him to speak to Seth first. All he’s done is the opposite. He’s just given Seth an instruction. And why couldn’t he wait until the morning? It’s fucking 10:30 p.m. for fuck's sake! Seth could be—

His phone chirps with a message. 

Roman hesitates as Seth’s name appears on his screen. He’s not in the mood to argue. He really doesn’t want that. If Seth’s angry, he’ll just apologize. 

_ Seth: Did Manuia ask you to do this? He had no right, I told him I’d think about it. I’ll KILL him!!! _

Maybe he shouldn’t be chuckling, but a little laugh escapes Roman before he can stop it. 

_ Roman: I don’t know what you’re talking about.  _

_ Seth: Then how did you know about the therapy?  _

_ Roman: My therapist suggested it. I just want to help you.  _

No response. Roman sighs in defeat, placing his phone on the bedside table. He stares at the ceiling, chest tightening. Maybe he shouldn’t have offered. This whole thing is so…hard. He doesn’t know what to say to Seth. How to make him happy. He wants to but he’s failing. It feels like he’s lost his touch. He feels lost. 

_ Roman: Have a goodnight. I’m sorry for disturbing you.  _

Again, his fingers have worked against him. 

Turning off the beside lamp, Roman forces himself to sleep. Of course it doesn’t happen because sleep and him are enemies lately. So he stares at the ceiling, trying not to be too irritated by the ominous shapes created by the shimmering full moon peaking into his windows. But it feels like the darkness is closing in on him again, wanting to steal another part of his soul. Roman can’t allow it to win. He swings his legs over the bed in a panic, ready to make his escape to the gym. 

He’s at the door when the entire room lights up—it’s his phone. 

Roman trails tense steps back to the bed. It’s a phone call—Seth’s beautiful face appears on his screen. Again that hesitance, so long that the call is dropped. Roman sits on the bed, punching his head lightly while releasing wounded groans. What the fuck is he supposed to do? 

Another phone call. 

“Alofagia,” he begins quietly, heart combusting. 

Stuttered breaths. 

“Seth?” he tries again. 

“Why?” Seth’s voice sounds so small. 

“I don’t understand the question…” Roman’s brows knit together. 

“Why are you doing this?”

“Because I care about you.” Shouldn’t it be obvious?

Another breath of silence. 

“I-I don’t know if I’m ready to do this, Row-man. What if I don’t like her? Shouldn’t you have run this past me first? Now you’re sending some woman I don’t know to our house. Are you even learning anything at therapy?”

That hurts. 

“Hey, no one’s forcing you to do anything, man. You’re acting like you can’t say no.”

Silence again. 

This entire conversation is going the wrong way. 

“No, then. You can’t tell me what to do anymore,” it’s snapped out. 

“Fine by me,” Roman shrugs stiffly, although Seth can’t see him.

“Goodbye Ro—” 

“No, Seth wait…fuck—”

“What is it? What the fuck do you want, Row-man?” 

“I am sorry, alright?” Roman quickly gets his words out, panicking. “Look, I’m sorry. I—was going to find you a competent therapist tomorrow but I won’t. I’m sorry for not running this past you first. I’m sorry.”

An exhale. 

“I don’t know why you’re so confusing.”

Roman pauses briefly, doesn’t know what to say. He takes that bit of time to absorb Seth’s uneven breaths, they sound so beautiful to him. He’s missed hearing Seth breathe, missed hearing how they transition to unsteady puffs of air sometimes. He tries to remember Seth’s sweet scent, how crisp his breath would be. He’s only agonizing himself but it’s an agony he gladly accepts. 

“Row-man?”

“Am I forgiven, Seth?” he asks. 

Seth’s soft chuckle sounds like a mixture of tiny cackles and cries. “For this, you are. I just—I don’t like when you do this, Roman. I know that we’re n-not…together but I’d appreciate it so much if you ran things past me. Especially when those things concern me.”

“I apologize.”

“Accepted…” there’s a pause of awkward-comfortable silence. “How was your day?”

“Busy, had back to back meetings. Yours?”

Seth sighs softly into the line, “Your family are driving me nuts. The only times I’m allowed to leave the bed or the couch are to go to the bathroom. That’s it. I am no longer allowed to do anything for myself.”

Roman laughs, “It’s for your best, Seth. They just want you to rest. You’re in no position to be doing anything for yourself at this point anyway.”

A snort reaches his ear, “Where do your loyalties lie? As the father of my, you’re supposed to be on my side. I-I mean, Row-man…” Seth’s cracking voice trails off. 

Why is it so awkward?

Clearing his throat, Roman queries. “How are the kids?”

“Growing—I can’t believe that they are arriving in less than 5 weeks!” Seth always sounds so excited when discussing this. “I think they’re going to love your distasteful jazz more than they will heavy metal which sucks. They’re always summersaulting in my belly when Manuia plays jazz.”

“…”

“Roman?”

“I’m still stuck on the part where you call my music  _ distasteful, _ ” Roman says after a minute’s silence. He shakes his head, chuckling quietly. “I think you have the genres confused. We both know which music genre is distasteful and it is not jazz.”

“Whatever,” although Roman can’t see him, he knows Seth has his tongue stuck out. “Your kids are kicking frenzily now—they always do that when I’m talking to you.”

“Really?” Roman’s voice is hoarse with emotion. 

“Yes,” it’s a whisper. “I—they love you so much.”

“I love them too, Seth. I—hope you tell them that.”

“I wouldn’t have to tell them on your behalf if you hadn’t left us,” there’s a breath of silence where both men say nothing. But Seth’s breathing gets heavier—uneven too. “Shit! I-I didn’t mean to say that out loud—I am sorry. Row-man, I’m sorry.”

Roman clears his throat, rubbing his chest to lessen the painful sensation. “It’s fine, I…understand. I was trying to look out for you.”

“C-Can we please drop this?”

“Of course,” Roman nods. “Can I tell you something, Seth?” 

There’s always this breath of…silence. Never uncomfortable, but definitely not comfortable either. It’s a little while before Seth responds with a soft, “Anything.”

“I’m sorry,” Roman rubs his face tiredly. Every memory from his therapy session is still so vivid—he’s guilty. The entirety of him is being plagued by a lot of negative emotions. Part of him is tempted to drop the conversation he’s about to venture into entirely. But…he wants to be better.  _ To change.  _ And change means admitting. “It’s never going to be enough, but I am. When I spoke to Dr. Carson today…I-I’m sorry for using you, Seth.”

“I—” a deep sigh into his cell. “I—Row-man I told you b-before, it’s…ok-ay. I was trying to—help you to…process things, the past. I—you had things you needed to release and I was available.”

Roman shakes his head even though Seth can’t see him. It sounds wrong, this whole thing sounds wrong. “I was still hurting you in the process—breaking you.” He groans, standing to pace around his room. The shadows are more menacing now, tearing him apart. “I—am sorry, Seth. It’s not enough but I am.”

“Why don’t we talk about something else, Row-man?”

Avoidance. Like Roman’s been doing.  

“I want to get you a therapist.  _ Please. _ ”

“Roman, I thought we talked about this—”

“Please Seth, I look I want to do this for you.”

The silence seems to last forever this time. 

“Fine,” the response is said so softly that Roman strains to hear it. “Just not now, please. I—don’t want to talk entertain any negativity now. I want to focus on getting my babies here. After I have them, we can talk again.”

Roman would rather he began on it immediately but he has no say. He doesn’t even have the right to try and coerce Seth into therapy. It would be hypocritical of him. “Thank you.”

“It’s nothing…I just wish I could deny you as easily as you do me.”

A pang of guilt stabs his heart. “Seth look—” 

“I…don’t want to keep you any longer. You have work tomorrow. Goodnight?”

“Of course,” Roman hopes Seth can’t hear his disappointment. “Tell the babies I love them so much.”  _ And you.  _ He adds silently. The courage isn’t there yet—to voice his thoughts to Seth. He’s not yet worthy. 

There’s silence from Seth’s end. It seems to last forever before a shaky, “I will.”

“Can I call—”

The line goes dead. Seth just hung up on him. 

“The fuck…” Roman stares at his phone. Did he do or say something wrong? Okay, maybe Seth is justified in his behavior, given how Roman’s treated him in the past. He deserves this kind of treatment but is still doesn’t make it sting any less. He hates how it stirs a myriad of emotions within him. Hurt at the forefront, and them anger, and agitation and a host of dark feelings. Dumping the phone on the bed, Roman decides to go work out his frustrations at the home gym. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	41. Chapter 41

Heavy thumps echo in the gym when Roman’s phone rings out loudly, successfully breaking him out of his intense physical ‘workout’. He couldn’t sleep so he decided to acquaint himself with his best friend the punching bag. “Manu…” darting away from the large leather bag, he grabs his phone, staring into space.

“Were you exercising again? You’re breathing heavy into my phone.”

“Gotta keep healthy,” Roman shrugs, wiping away the wetness on his face. He’s been here for over an hour, and his joints ache. He’s thirsty too but stays put.

“At fucking 02:00 am?”

Roman arches a dark brow at the incredulous tone, although Manuia can’t even see him. “You know I struggle with sleep sometimes, this is one of those days.” He’s not going to tell Manuia how frequent they are lately. Manuia doesn’t have to know how cold this house feels. “And you’re one to talk…what are you doing up so early, Manu? Is everything okay with Seth?”

Manuia’s exhale reaches his right ear, “Yeah, Seth’s okay…”

“The babies?”

“The quads are doing great.”

Roman remains silent, catching his breath while waiting for Manuia to tell him why he’s calling. Maybe it’s horrible of him, but Roman can’t think of any other reason why his bodyguard would call if the most important people in his life are all doing okay. He doubts Manuia would call so late for a catch up session, unless he’s also having bad nights and needs some company.

Guilt plagues him at the thought, what he’s done is affecting Manuia too. Manuia who must be missing his boyfriend. “I guess. I—just, I have something on my mind, brother.” Manuia’s quiet tone sounds in his ear, breaking his thoughts. “Something that is, well I guess you could say something that’s bothering me a little.”

“I’m all ears.” Roman opens the sliding door, stepping out into the dead air. Even the trees are still, everything is eerily silent and if it weren’t for the full moon pouring over the forest to give it light he would be bothered a bit.  

“Do you remember I told you Seth went for his scan yesterday?”

“Yes…” Roman starts hesitantly.  Seth sees his doctors twice a week now. On Tuesdays and Fridays. He’s still 29 weeks and a few days pregnant. Roman hopes that nothing’s wrong, when he spoke to Manuia yesterday, the big man had told him things were going well. Surely nothing’s changed. He’s been meaning to call Seth, but things are a bit weird between them. Twice now, Seth has been hanging up on him during their conversations. Roman isn’t sure what he’s done wrong this time. “Has something happened? Are they fine? All of them?”

“Like I said, they’re all 100% brother. But something has been on my mind, troubling me, if we’re being honest. I have to know Roman, have you given any thought into what will happen when it’s time for Seth to give birth?”

Roman hesitates before giving a quiet, “No.” He shakes his head, rubbing his face frustratedly. There’s a guilt attacks him even stronger than before. “I feel like crap, but I’m just being honest, brother. I…don’t know if it’s because he’s not here or—I just…I think about the babies and him everyday. But the birth has completely slipped my mind. He told me about it a few days ago, he was so excited.”

Manuia snorts, “Oh he was excited, alright. Until today…yesterday, the doctors told him that he’d have to visit the NICU because the babies will be born prematurely, Roman. Seth’s doctors…they wanted to prepare him for what’s still going to come. Preemies are very small at birth and have complex medical needs, so parents may not be able to take their babies home for days, or even months sometimes. It’s even worse with multiples, they’re growing at a smaller rate than a singleton.”

Roman doesn’t know how to respond. He doesn’t know much about pregnancy, and Manuia’s words leave him completely dumbfounded.

“I accompanied him today,” Manuia goes on. “To the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. Fuck, Roman, there’s a lot going on in there and I, Seth wasn’t really the same when we came back. He’s…petrified, for the babies. And he’s been conducting all this research online, and driving himself insane. It’s all so overwhelming.”

“I…” Roman clears his throat, rubbing his chest to lessen the pain, while nodding tersely. “I-I’m sorry, I—don’t know what to say, Manu.”

“Say that you’re going to come here.”

Silence.

“Please Roman, he’s going to need you. I am here for him, but there’s things that even I can’t help with. Things that need you, he’s going to need you. Those babies are going to need you.”

Heart problems. Roman opens his mouth to say something, anything, but his vocabulary is failing him. He can’t utter a single word, not one coherent thing. But the rapid blinking of his eyes matches how hard his heart’s beating. Part of him is scared to be honest. He hasn’t seen Seth in so long, and doesn’t want to inconvenience him like that. He doesn’t want to turn Seth’s world upside down. He’s been trying not to be destructive.

“Leati? Brother?”

“I—am still here. Manu, are you sure that’s a good idea? I don’t even know what would be expected of me once I get there. I—wouldn’t know what to do. I don’t want to disrupt Seth’s life, brother. What if he doesn’t want me there? What if my presence hurts him all over again?”

“Don’t be stupid,” Manuia chides gently. “You’re already hurting him with your absence. I don’t think your presence would do more harm. And this isn’t about you…put your fears aside, put everything regarding you aside. This is about him, those babies, your babies. _Your_ family needs you.”

“When?”

A brief pause before a confused, “What?”

“If I do this, when would you want me to come to Tampa?” Roman clarifies, shaky fingers tightening around his cellphone.

“As soon as possible, but you’d have to speak to him first, propose the idea of coming to him. He’s not big on surprises lately.”

“Can I think about it?”

“A day. That’s all I’m giving you, Leati. It shouldn’t take you forever to think about, in fact, you should’ve said yes immediately I asked but I understand—you’re allowed to be scared.”

“Thank you…” Roman nods appreciatively. “Thanks for understanding, brother.”

“24 hours.”

“I know, I know.” Roman crouches on the ground, staring into the distance. “Please tell me about his day. What else happened?”

Manuia chuckles into the phone, teasing him about how he always asks this question, but Roman has to know. He always wants to know about Seth, his wellbeing, their babies. He wants to know everything, right down to the tiniest detail. “—and then he made a large donation to the NICU. He wants to do it for other hospitals too. You should’ve seen him, after his crying fit, he was going around interacting with the babies and their mothers. He’s so amazing, Roman, he loves genuinely. Our ancestors, they made him for you.”

Roman’s heart swells with pride, a big smile stretches his lips. “I see…” he whispers hoarsely, abundant emotions crashing through him. “No wonder I received a notification about large funds being transferred out of his account. I was going to ask him about it tomorrow. I—he’s something else.” Roman shakes his head in awe.  

“He is,” Manuia has a smile in his voice too. “We were planning on visiting Stonebrook hospital tomorrow but Dr. Baldwin advised him to take it easy, he’ll be nearing 31 weeks soon. So he’ll be home until it’s time for his next scan on Friday. He wasn’t happy about it but he doesn’t have a choice.”

“He told me about that, you’re all so overbearing apparently.”

“He said that?” Manuia sounds mildly offended.

“Don’t…don’t touch him,” Roman chuckles. “Let him breathe a little.”

A sigh, “Fine…”

“How’s the rest of the gang? Mama, Nae, Leilei?”

Manuia goes on to give him an update on the rest of the family. Roman can’t help laughing when Manuia tells him that Leilani is distressed about leaving Tampa because school’s restarting in two weeks. She apparently promised Seth that she’d stay with him and look after the babies. Her argument with Naomi was so bad that her mother had nearly gave in, and contemplated finding a school in Tampa. It’s Jimmy who put his for down though, and told them that it wasn’t going to happen. Leilani has developed a tiny grudge against her father. But she’ll get over it. “—oh, and their nursery, we finished everything today. The things you bought for the quads are really gorgeous, brother. I was thinking about sending you a few pictures? So you see how everything turned out?”

“Sure, brother.” Roman’s lying on the grass now, facing skywards, gaze fixed on the full moon. He thinks he’s going to fall asleep right here tonight. “Is there anything else I need to know about?”

There’s a breath of silence where Manuia says nothing.

“Just…that he loves you so much, brother.” it’s said quietly into the phone.

Roman’s heart falters, like it always does when Manuia says that. “I’m not worthy of that love…but I—am thankful. I didn’t deserve him—Jey tells me that it’s okay, because no one’s ever really deserving of another person.”

Manuia’s chuckles reach his right ear, light, melodious. “You should listen to Jey. Jey’s a smart man—be more like him.”

Roman gains his own chuckle, “Aye, that’s what I’m learning, brother.”

“Atta boy.” There’s a smile again in Manuia’s voice. “Please think about what I said, yeah?”

“I will,” Roman nods his head. “Before you go, I want to apologize. This whole thing, surely it’s putting some sort of strain on your relationship with Bobby. I am sorry for that—for this mess I’ve created.”

“Easy there, cowboy. My relationship with Bobby couldn’t be more perfect, the time away is doing wonders for us. It gives both of us time to miss each other. And he’s come here once or twice…and whenever that happens I can barely walk straight the following day. He dicks—”

“Manuia!” Roman growls, driving the mental images away. He’s being taken back to the night he found Bobby and Manuia in his car, with his big ass bodyguard riding—fuck! _You’re not thinking about it_. “Keep the fucking details to yourself, brother. Fucking hell!”

The stupid idiot is cackling like a buffoon, “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever. All I’m saying is that things are going great between myself and the bae. You don’t need to feel bad that we’re separated. We both love and trust each other and that’s enough for us.”

Roman snorts before he can help himself, “How mature…” it’s not that he’s bitter but whenever he thinks about the relationships of the people around him—Nae and Jimmy, Manuia and Bobby, Xavier and his spouse, heck, even Dean and Antonio—he can’t help feeling like some sort of failure. Relationships are hard for him, but the people around him make them look so simple. He’s trying though, and Dr. Carson told him that he’s getting there.

Speaking of Dr. Carson, maybe calling her in the morning wouldn’t be a bad idea. To inform her of Manuia’s request. He wants to be there for Seth, and the kids, scared as he is, he does. But talking to Dr. Carson will help get a few things out of the way. Who knows how long he’ll have to stay in Tampa? He’s not ready to part with her just yet. They’ll have to come up with some sort of arrangement.

“Oh yeah, we’re very mature. Don’t just be like Jey, be like us too. Bobby and Manuia are great people, be more like them.”

Roman laughs heartily, it rumbles in the silent night. Readjusting himself on the grass, his left arm goes beneath his neck, supporting his head. “More like you, huh?”

“Yup. We’re model citizens.”

“I’ll be sure to remember that, brother. I’m going to let you go now.”

Manuia sighs, “Alright. Have a good night Roman, and I love you.”

A smile, “I love you too.”

“I know you do. So you’ll call me?”

“I promise.”

“Good, I’ll be waiting.”

Once the call is dropped, Roman throws his phone beside him, closing his eyes. Sleep evades him again, multiple thoughts capturing him hostage. On Monday, he revealed to Dr. Carson how he used to have Seth followed. They were able to determine why. A reason that he’s known even before they could reach it with Dr. Carson. Sometimes he worries, because of what happened with Tyler, he’s always worried. Worried that history could repeat itself.

It’s the reason that he installed the cameras in this house. It’s the reason that he installed cameras in Seth’s previous home. It’s the reason he was having Seth followed. Dr. Carson told him that it’s because his past trauma bumped him out of his resilience zone, causing him to always be super vigilant, and suspicious (unnecessarily sometimes). Because if he isn’t on the lookout of what could go wrong, then no one else will. Her reasons make sense to him.

She asked him again, if he is having Seth followed right now. His response, it had been yes and no. When Nikki went to the papers, he did call Cody, assigning him with the task of keeping an eye on and protecting Seth from afar. It happened for a while, until maybe a few weeks ago. Cody would send him pictures too. It’s something that he couldn’t help doing. Being away from Seth is torture, and it’s even harder not knowing what he’s getting up to.

Things have been getting easier now that Manuia is constantly with him, although if Roman’s being honest, sometimes, at the very back of his mind, dark thoughts taunt him, reigniting his fear. He explained this to Dr. Carson, she agrees with him that it has to do with his past. But she’s proud that he’s attempted to stop keeping tabs on Seth all on his own. She told him to take it a day a time, like he’s been doing. And she advised him to utilize his journal. He’s recorded a bunch of things in there.

Things that help him whenever he’s tempted to call Cody and tell him to return to Tampa. He knows how bad invasion of privacy is now, even if, in his mind, he’s trying to look out for himself and Seth. And he’s written down how it has affected him, his relationship. The whole thing had been nearing on obsession. But he hasn’t called Cody in weeks. He’s staying away. Manuia tells him everything anyway, and with Manuia it feels right. Roman doesn’t feel like he’s going behind Seth’s back or doing something he shouldn’t. Manuia tells him that Seth knows that they talk. So that could be the reason. Seth knows about this. He knows. It’s not done in the darkness, or without his knowledge.

Dr. Carson asked him another question before he left: does he trust Seth?

Roman’s still trying to reach a solid conclusion on that one.

* * *

 

“Dammit, she’s so beautiful. I-I’m still so disappointed that I can’t visit her. And she’ll be turning a month old very soon. It feels like she’s g-grown so fast,” Seth bites his lip, scrutinizing every tiny detail of the pictures Xavier sent him of baby Nylah. She still looks so small, but she’s a beauty. With her tiny features, and her teeny tiny hands clenched into fists. Another picture, in which she’s sleeping peacefully in Xavier’s arms makes him tear up a bit. She’s wearing that white Metallica dress he bought her and a gorgeous ribbon headband covers her lustrous dark hair. She’s an absolute angel.

“She’s like 23 days old, Seth. You’re acting like she’ll be turning five or something.” Manuia laughs, settling on the couch beside him. They are in the quads’ nursery, it’s finally done and there’s a large mustard couch that Manuia thought would be a lovely addition to the room. Seth’s currently sorting through his hospital bag, packing a few necessities that he’ll need. But of course, Xavier’s baby has momentarily distracted him—his best friend sent him the pictures a few minutes ago.

“I know that.” Seth glowers at the man beside him, “But you’ve seen her twice now, and I haven’t. And it’s all your fault, y’all won’t let me visit.” His attention is stolen by another picture, Nylah’s lying peacefully on Randy’s bare chest now. The cold doctor looks terrified for some reason, it’s endearing and Seth can’t help cracking up in amusement. “Is Randy still so scared of his own child?”

Manuia cracks up too. “I think he’s getting better, he’s still intimidating as fuck though. The guy’s smaller than me but he scares me sometimes. I feel sorry for whoever’s going to date that his little girl. And you can’t visit them now sweetheart, you’re on bed rest.” Manuia rolls his eyes.

“And I hate it,” Seth sighs, sending Xavier a lovely message, fawning over the baby pictures and sending many heart-eyed emojis.

“We talk about this all the time, it’s for your good.”

Seth remains silent for a little, reading Xavier’s message. “Xavier says he might just visit when Nylah is a month old, but he’ll have to convince Randal first. The cold bastard thinks they should wait at least three months. Is he crazy?”

Manuia laughs, “No, he’s not. It’s the same with us Lanuolans too. Traditionally, the babies are not supposed to be revealed until they’re over three months. Randy is at least allowing visits, back home visitors aren’t even allowed. Humans carry different things with them, they have different auras—good, bad, negative, positive—and we don’t want any negativity around the baby. We believe that babies are too fragile for that so we don’t permit visitors. It will be the same for the quads, you’ll be lucky if your friends are allowed visits at four months.”

“I thought you said it’s three months, Manuia…”

“Six months for royal babies.”

Seth’s eyes widen, “Manuia…what are you…are you serious right now?”

“Dead serious.”

“Who comes up with these rules?!” Seth asks, tone incredulous.

“Our ancestors.”

“Well, they’re outdated.”

Manuia rolls his eyes, a tiny laugh escapes him. “Not in Lanuola. You’ll have to bear the brunt, sweet cheeks.”

“I—don’t care about the rest, I don’t have that many friends. But Xavier and Dean, they’re not friends, they’re family. Your family will have to make an exception for them, these are my babies too you know. I am the one carrying them.”

“Tell that to the King.”

Another glare from Seth, “Like I can actually do that. I barely even talk to him.”

“Oh come on, Seth. He’s a reasonable man, just…make him understand. Sure he’s strict, and follows traditions to the tee but I’m sure he’ll make an exception.”

“When? He rarely even comes to America.”

Manuia looks over his shoulder, he’s stood up to go and fetch Seth’s hospital bag so that they can get started on the packing. His disappointed expression is too much for Seth to take so the brunet turns away, biting his lower lip. “You’re an idiot if you think he’s not going to come to the States for this. He cares about you, consort. Everyone in our family cares for you. We all love you. I know it’s hard to believe because families tend to have drama but that’s not us. We’re not like that. We support each other. You’re Roman’s chosen and for us that’s enough. The King, he loves you like a son. So obviously he’s going to be here to support you. Besides, who’s going to name the babies if he doesn’t?”

“Wait…” Seth blinks the tears away. “He names the babies?”

“We’re traditional,” Manuia shrugs.  

“But I have the names! I got them in my dream and everything…” Seth blurts out before he can stop himself. He covers his mouth right after. Dammit!

“They’re going to be the same as the ones you got in your dream.” Manuia moves on, unperturbed. He returns with the grey bag, setting on the table in front of the couch. “Should I grab a few baby clothes? Do you want to help me choose?”

“I do,” Seth allows Manuia to help him up, waddling to the babies’ walk-in closet. Their clothes are packed and hanged neatly in there. Different shades of white, and greens, yellows, greys—all beautiful gender neutral colors. Picking up a grey onesie with two little giraffes on it, Seth allows the fabric to touch his nose. It smells brand-new, and he hugs it tightly, closing his eyes. _You’re going to be a mother._ The thought runs through his mind. He’s terrified, but so in love. It’s a pity that he’s going to do it without _him_. “Roman bought this,” he reveals absently. “He loves giraffes, and lions.”

“It’s gorgeous.”

Manuia is looking at him when Seth opens his eyes. “You’re sure the King will get the babies’ names right?”

“100% sure. Wait and see.”

“Okay,” Seth nods his head. “I was reading up on preemie births yesterday. Hear me out,” Seth tells Manuia when the big man releases a heavy sigh. “It’s nothing negative. I—just wanted to see if the quads stand a chance. There are men and women whose babies spent little time in NICU. One man I read about, he gave birth to triplets—two of them stayed less than a month and the last triplet stayed for just over a month. Within a week, he could breastfeed the first two. And there’s also this thing…kangaroo care. It’s supposed to be really helpful for preemies apparently. What I’m trying to say is that I’ll do whatever it takes to ensure that they’re home, safe and sound, as soon as possible. I want to feel like a mom, I wouldn’t want to fail my kids.”

“You won’t,” Manuia rests a hand on his shoulder. “But remember that no one’s expecting perfection from you. You’re going to have to ask us for help. It’s not one baby that you’re having. I know you’ll want to do everything on your own but you don’t have to be a superhero all the time. But I know you are so I’ll say this—superheroes need help too sometimes, okay?”

Seth bites his lips, nodding. “Do you know when Roman’s dad is coming?”

“Not yet, but I’m sure aunt Pat will tell us once they have a definite date. Maybe two weeks from now, just before you give birth.”

“Will he stay at a hotel? We have more than enough room here.”

“He’ll stay with his wife,” Manuia chuckles. “They’re fine living at a hotel.”

“If you say so,” Seth shrugs, grabbing sixteen baby hats, that’s four for each baby. Enough for four days, but his eyes still widen at the number of baby items he has to grab for each baby. It’s a good thing that the bag Manuia bought him is ridiculously spacious, with three compartments inside to separate different items. But he’ll also have to carry another separate bag for himself, for the items that he will need during his stay at the hospital. He’ll pack his bag right after he takes care of the babies’ necessities. “Did you grab their long sleeved vests?”

“Yup. Here, take their socks and go wait for me inside. I’ll grab everything else they’ll need.”

Seth is hesitant when he nods okay, “Don’t forget the swaddle blankets.”

“I won’t.”

“Di—”

“Get off your feet, Seth.”

“Manuia—”

“Seth…”

A sigh sneaks past, and Seth accepts defeat. He just doesn’t want anything to go wrong. Doesn’t want to forget anything. He’s watched so many videos, took advise from so many superhero men and women that he would be disappointed if he forgot anything. He’s giving birth in less than four weeks, everything has to go according to plan. Everything.

Manuia comes back a while later, and they pack the babies’ items. And then Manuia gets a phone call, excusing himself. Fifteen minutes have gone by when the big man finally returns. He looks so happy, beautiful features bright as ever. “Is Bobby coming over again?” Manuia only ever gets this way when the boyfriend’s coming over for the weekend.

“What? No!” Manuia shakes his head absently. “I’m just…it’s nothing.”

“Your smile doesn’t say it’s nothing,” Seth coaxes, rubbing his belly soothingly.

“Can’t a man be happy?”

“He can, I just want to know why.”

“You’ll find out…soon.”

That gives Seth a pause. His heart beats faster all of a sudden. “What do you mean, Manu?” Seth’s mouth goes dry. “Were you talking to R-Roman?”

Silence.

“You were,” Seth looks at his palms. “What did he say that’s made you so happy?”

“I can’t say. You’ll find out soon enough. Are you hungry?”

Tempted to force Manuia to spill, Seth tilts his head to one side and releases a quiet sigh. It would be futile trying. He won’t get a response anyway. Manuia is immune to emotional blackmail. “Yeah, I’m hungry. Avo toast sounds scrumptious at the moment.”

“Okay, sweetheart. Stay where you are, I’ll be back soon.”

Seth smiles, tucking a lock of hair behind his ear, and accepting the kiss to his hair. He’s left alone as Manuia exits the nursery. Grabbing his phone, he checks his messages. There’s quite a few from different people. Katherine, Elias, Xavier and Dean. Seth dutifully replies to all of them before his phone goes to Roman’s name. He’s tempted to message him, but he’s not sure what he wants to say. Maybe ask about what has Manuia so excited. No, he shakes his head. The royal will tell him when he’s ready to. He doesn’t want to force things too much.

_Seth: Hey. Just thought I should check up on you._

Those were his fingers working against him. His heart nears on breaking apart when Roman responds almost immediately.

_Roman: Alofagia._

Seth still melts when Roman says that. He can practically hear Roman’s voice, intimate in his ear.

_Roman: I am fine. I hope it’s the same for you?_

_Seth: Yes._

_Roman: Good. Good, that makes me happy. How are the quads?_

_Seth: Restless. They’re gutting my ribs._

_Roman: Our boys :). Tell that football team daddy says they should go easy on mommy._

Hearty laughter bubbles from deep inside Seth before he can stop it. He’s shaking his head, and rereading the message again, while rolling his eyes fondly.

_Seth: You’re still insisting that we’re just having boys?_

_Roman: I can feel it in my blood, Seth._

_Seth: I see…well, I’ll give them your message. Hopefully they’ll calm down a little._

_Roman: Can I call you later on tonight? I need to discuss something with you._

Seth bites his lip, hesitating a little. He doesn’t know why he’s scared all of a sudden.

_Seth: Sure, any time._

_Roman: Great. Don’t forget to tell the football team that I love them._

_Seth: I never forget._

_Roman: Thank you, Seth. We’ll talk later._

_Seth: :)_

Blinking the tears away, Seth carelessly discards his phone on the couch. This royal bastard. Again with the confusion. Is the man even in love with him? Does he pine over him the same way Seth does for him? “Prick…” Seth whispers to himself, a bit lightly this time. Lingering on hurt won’t help him. And entertaining his bitter-tinged thoughts will help him even less. What he’ll do is chase away every thought, he’ll use this time to focus on nothing but the babies.

“Hey Seth, you want me to add eggs on that toast or not?”

“Um, no. Just cheese!” Seth returns, just as loud, so that Manuia can hear him. “Last night you said we’re having A Nightmare on Elm Street marathon, Manu…” he reminds the big man.

“Yeah, we are!”

“Mhkay,” Seth takes a deep breath, counting to three, and slowly lifting off the couch to scan the discs lining up their cabinets.

“Hey, I’m back. You found the first one?”

Seth looks over his shoulder, nodding. He goes back to the couch once he’s inserted the movie. His feet settle on Manuia’s lap, his silent plea for them to be massaged. Manuia rolls his eyes but gets to work. “You spoil me so much,” Seth mutters in between his eating. He’s not used to a family like this, but he’s grateful for it. It always makes him tear up a little, because never in his wildest dreams did he ever think he’d have this.

Manuia snickers, rolling his eyes. “Like you give me a choice, Your Highness.” He has the brightest smile on his face.

“Whatever. You enjoy this, don’t act like you don’t.”

“Oh sure, yeah. I just live for this.”

“I was talking to your brother. He wants us to talk later tonight. Don’t know about what though,” Seth reveals, gaze glued to the movie that he now realizes is only serving as background noise.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Does it have to do with your phone call earlier?”

Manuia sighs, pinching his thigh. “Nice try.”

“It’s an innocent question,” Seth shrugs, beaming sweetly.  

“Yeah, it is. Now shut up, this is my favorite part.”

A quiet laugh emits Seth but he says nothing else. He’s just allowing the good feelings to envelope him. Like they always do when he’s around Manuia, and Roman’s family. He has a family now. _A family._ Sometimes it’s unsettling, and he waits to wake up from this dream, but he never does. This is his reality. A very beautiful reality that he wants to keep forever. The only thing missing is _him._ And then his world will be complete. _He’s_ the only missing puzzle.

Manuia’s laughs draw him to the present. He’s the only one Seth knows who will laugh while watching a person being brutally murdered. Seth grins fondly. He thinks Manuia has a sadistic side that maybe the big man isn’t aware of. It’s the only explanation. Chasing every bad thought away, Seth decides to be in the present. He appreciates what his has now, a supportive man who may as well be his brother too. Readjusting himself to lay on side, he rests his head on Manuia’s lap, who runs his fingers through his hair immediately, and focuses on the movie.

Later that night Roman calls him. Their call seems to last forever—at least to Seth—mostly because he has to answer Roman’s non ending questions about how the rest of his day went. Seth patiently answers everything, complaining (not really) to the royal about his overbearing family. Roman laughs, like he usually does, telling him that whatever they’re doing is for his own good. Seth agrees with him, though not verbally, and then they discuss the babies’ names. “Manuia told me that your father is to name them.”

“As an Anoa’i patriarch, it’s all up to him. When he passes on, I’ll take over from him with the tradition, it’s been like that for ages.”

“I see…” Seth settles on the bed, lying on his left side. His eyes meet the 11: 56 flashing on the bedside clock. It’s nearly midnight, and they’ve been talking for thirty minutes. He’s missed this, the late night conversations where Roman and him would talk about any and everything. He won’t tell Roman that though. Relishing in this is much better idea, much more fulfilling. “And it’s like that for second names too? I forgot to ask Manuia earlier.”

“No,” Roman heavy breath sounds in his ear, sending shivers down his spine. He hates the way his heart rate quickens with each word that Roman’s saying. He hates that Roman doesn’t even have to be in the same room as him for his body to react. Seth tries to discourage the rest of his body from reacting, especially his dick. He doesn’t want his dick to react. That can’t happen, it would only mean embarrassment. “—usually…Seth? Are you still listening?”

“Um, y-yes. I’m still here.”

Roman’s hearty chuckle affects him unlike anything else. Seth closes his eyes, cherishes it. It’s so beautiful, deep, rumbling—it reaches his deepest parts. “Oh good, I thought you’d hung up on me again.”

Seth shakes his head this time, embarrassed. “I-I…sorry.” He has no idea what to say. Of course he’s not dumb enough to reveal his real reasons for hanging up on Roman but it’s still embarrassing, and he owes the royal an explanation but he doesn’t have one.

“It’s okay…” another delicious sigh into his ear. “I was saying, the second names are up to the parents to decide. But I know the King, he prefers non Western names. Samoan, Tongan—you know Oceanian names.”

“So we’re allowed to name them too?” the excitement bubbles within Seth this time. He knows Roman can hear it, his gorgeous laughter rings into his ear.

“Oceanian names.”

“I’ll google them. Unless…you want to name them?”

A breath of silence.

“Row-man?”

“Um no…” Roman clears his throat. He sounds emotional. “You’re carrying them. You’ve been with them since the beginning, it wouldn’t be right.”

“Are you sure?” Seth whispers.

“…yes.”

“I—okay then.”

Another breath of silence—comfortable. Opening his eyes, Seth holds the phone to his ear tightly, still wanting to cherish Roman’s breath—heavy in his ear. He absorbs it, all of it, from how rhythmic it is to how soothing it sounds. Such a beautiful sound. “I have something I’d like to discuss, Seth.”

“Anything,” another whisper.

“You’re giving birth in four weeks…”

“I-I am…” Seth blinks rapidly.

“I—if this will be an inconvenience I will be h-happy to stay away. But I would be grateful, if I could be there for you. For the babies. Their birth. Only if you need me though, I don’t wish to impose on you.”

Seth’s heart beats far too loudly suddenly, and he’s forced to sit up. Leaning against the headboard, he shakes his head in disbelief. There’s a wetness behind his eyes but the tears don’t sneak past thankfully. This…it feels like a dream. Is Roman, is he…offering? “I don’t think I understand, Row-man,” it’s a whisper. The intensity in which his heart pounds causes him to part his lips for air. Breathing isn’t even coming easy to him.

Silence again.

“I…” Roman clears his throat, there’s a weird uncertainty in his tone that brings nothing but delicious butterfly flutters into Seth’s belly. The babies are kicking enthusiastically too, maybe they’re sensing his underlying happiness. Seth wants it to burst free, but not yet. Not just yet. Roman…he needs to clarify first.

“Roman?” Seth tries again.

“Yes, I…I mean I’d like to be in Tampa with you, Seth. If you’ll allow me, I want to be there for you. You and the babies.”

“Really?”

“Yes really. I’d be honored, Seth.”

He’s offering this time. The initiative, it’s coming from Roman. Seth feels his heart swell with love. He’s nodding his head furiously even though Roman can’t see him. “I—yes, Row-man, you’re their father. It wouldn’t be an inconvenience. The babies will be happy.” He’s getting his words out quickly, almost rambling, and nodding stupidly, grateful that the royal can’t see his stupid smile.

“What about you?”

“I’d be happy too,” he whispers absently. “I m-mean, if that’s what y-you mean. Or m-maybe you meant i-it wouldn’t b-be an inconvenience which it wouldn’t. I-I…when do you want to come?”

“I have therapy with Dr. Carson tomorrow, and I need to delegate my responsibilities at work to Tamina and Jimmy. I’ll have to do that over the weekend. I’ll drive down to Tampa late Monday.”

“Ask Bobby to fly you here. It’ll be quicker that way,” the words slip past unbidden, causing Seth to mentally smack himself on the forehead repeatedly. _What the fuck are you doing?_

“I think he’ll be busy that day. I’ll have to confirm with him.”

“Okay…and where are you going to stay?” Was that suggestive? Seth feels like it was. He’s not winning here. Part of him thinks he sounds too desperate. He hates it. “There’s plenty of hotels available near our house—or even the hospital. I can find something for you.”

Silence.

Seth holds the phone against his ear, heart on the verge of exploding. Anxiously, he awaits a response from Roman. But there’s an awkwardness now. It’s palpable. They’re not even together and it’s still so palpable. Sighing softly, Seth closes his eyes, left hand splaying on his large belly. Why is it so awkward?

“No, thank you. I’ll have Bayley handle it.” Cold. There’s no warmth in the manner in which Roman utters his words. Seth can’t help but think it’s his fault somehow. He’s offended Roman, but he feels it’s not his fault. It’s just…he doesn’t want to come across as desperate. But…he, maybe part of him would like Roman to stay with them. No, that would just complicate things. Dammit! He’s conflicted. Wincing at his confusion, Seth nods his head again—until he remembers that Roman can’t see him.

“Okay…so what time will you arrive?”

“I don’t know, I’ll inform you just before departure.” Still so cold.

“Okay, well we…can’t wait for you to get here.”

Another breath of silence.

“Me too, Seth.” Warmer this time, an improvement.

Seth exhales in relief. “If you…need any assistance, I’ll be glad to help.” He’s not sure why he’s betraying himself like this. And why he hasn’t freaked out yet.

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Cool…talk tomorrow?”

“Sure.”

They cut the call, and Seth lets out a silent scream. Roman hadn’t even said he love the babies this time. It sounded like he wanted to end the call soon, which is why Seth had let him go. These conversations they have can be so weird. Seth feels like there’s a fragility about them now, their connection. It feels like the slightest disturbance could break apart what they’re trying to build (he’s not even sure if they are building something).

His phone buzzes less than a minute after his last call.

_Roman: Tell the babies I love them._

Seth reads the message over and over again. Why is it so hard for Roman to say that to him too? Even if it’s in a text? Rubbing his hand down his face, Seth shakes his head. Why does he keep doing this to himself? It’s all so stupid. He’s being stupid. The last thing that should be on his mind is a relationship. Never mind that it’s all he thinks about. That Roman’s always capturing his thoughts, fucking up his mind.

* * *

 

“Sorry about that, I just wanted to show this photo to the other sonographers. I was able to capture all four heads in one picture!” Dr. Baldwin explaond as soon as he reenters the hospital room. He smiles, passing the sonogram picture to Seth. The greying doctor’s excitement is palpable. But his face is set, like it always is. “This is remarkable! You know, it’s generally hard to do, especially at your gestational age with all the babies smashed up together.” Dr. Baldwin explains.

Seth looks at the picture, beaming broadly. The labels on the picture are from Baby A to D. He can see all the babies’ heads on the picture, just as Dr. Baldwin had explained. They all look like weird blobs but gosh, the beauty of his babies always amazes him. With how hard he’s fallen, he can only imagine how worse it will be once they actually get here. “Manuia, come see…” Seth tremulously whispers, tears falling down his cheeks.

“I see four blobby thingies.”

The idiot is just like his brother.

Seth rolls his eyes, “Really? I didn’t notice. Look at how beautiful they are, Manu. Your godkids.”

That causes the giant to tear up a bit. “Less than four weeks now, Seth.”

“I know—can’t wait but I won’t lie, I worry too. And I hate that I won’t be able to go home immediately with them.”

“You don’t have to worry too much, Seth. They’re doing great right now, and I have no doubt in my mind that it will continue like that once they’re born. We’re quite happy with their growth, and you’re nearing 34 weeks, which is more than most people carrying quads reach. Your positivity matters.”

“I—know. It just sucks, Dr. Baldwin. When I spoke to those parents, it sucks that you can’t take your baby home. You can’t do what other mothers do for their babies. You feel like less of a mother because of that. You gave birth but you don’t have anything to show for it—the child remains behind, they’re fighting for their l-life.”

“And none of it is your fault, Seth. It’s beyond your control. The only thing you can do is be there for the child, in any way you can. You’re not less of a mother because the baby has remained behind. Your actions make you a mother.” Manuia hugs him, kissing his hair.

“Manuia’s right, Mr. Anoa’i…” yes, Dr. Baldwin still uses Roman’s surname when referring to him. Seth’s given up on correcting him. He has no idea if Dr. Baldwin does it on purpose or because of his old age. “Listen to him.”

“Um, thanks doctor.”

“No problem.”

Dr. Baldwin gives him the rest of the babies’ sonogram pictures. They exit the hospital, and Manuia helps him inside the car. “You mentioned that you’re still missing a few items for your hospital bag.”

“Stool softener!” Seth blurts out the first, most important (to him) necessity. “I saw this video online and apparently it’s really sore to release you know what after you give birth.”

Manuia titters loudly in the car, “Well damn, I didn’t know that.”

“Mhm,” Seth nods, grabbing his chocolate stash from the glovebox. “I also saw this lady’s vlog, she advises to bring your own pillows and stuff. Apparently the ones in hospitals aren’t really comfortable.”

“I doubt you’ll need to bring your own. Roman’s already taking care of everything. You’re having the most comfortable hospital stay money can provide, Seth. The babies too. Roman’s planning to move you to St. Bernard’s.”

Not again.

“What?” Seth spares Manuia a disbelieving glance.

“It’s for your good. They’re a better hospital—private too. You won’t have to worry about the paparazzi hounding you.”

“St Nichol’s forms part of some of the best hospitals in Tampa!” Seth can’t keep the incredulity out of his tone. He folds his arms across his chest, hurting his nipples in the process.

“Still not the best of the best,” Manuia is unperturbed.

“So you’re on his side?” Seth snaps, narrowing his gaze on Manuia. “The royal bastard didn’t even discuss this with me first!”

Manuia regards him guiltily, “To be fair, he hasn’t actually done yet. Just a contemplation. He’ll probably discuss it with you first. He hasn’t even told your doctors yet.”

Seth rolls his eyes, “He better discuss it with me or he’ll have something else coming. I—don’t want us to be like before. I want us to talk, to have the whole open communication thing.”

“And that means you’ll tell him you’re in love with him?”

“No…” Seth huffs, looking out the window. “He has to say it first. I’m not going to put myself on the line like that. I do that enough already.”

“I’m not going to force you to, kiddo.” Manuia singsongs. “I’ll help you out.” They enter a Target. Manuia organizes one of those electric chairs that Seth’s seen people using a few times. “You know I don’t know why we couldn’t have ordered everything you need online. It would’ve been so much easier.”

“True. But that would mean we’d be home now, and that equals bedrest and bedrest equals boredom. You promised to give me this, you can’t turn on your word.”

“I know,” Manuia rolls his eyes. “Aunt Pat won’t be happy about this.” Sighing, he continues scanning the isles with an unperturbed Seth. “Do you need a toiletry bag?”

“Mhm,” Seth hums absently. “I like this…” he points to a Donald Duck denim jacket that probably has Leilani’s size. “I think I’ll grab it for Bambi.”

“You’re always buying her something whenever you’re shopping. I think her parents need to ban you from doing that. It’s a new piece of clothing every week.”

Seth shies away from Manuia’s chiding gaze, but then he meets the eyes of a few people who are unashamedly gawking at him. He has no idea why though. Yeah, he’s huge, so what? “I can’t help it. If I see something adorable then I always want to buy it for her. It’s the same with my own babies. They have so much clothes than they actually need, Manu. But I can’t help it.”

“Yeah, I know.” Manuia rolls his eyes. “I’ll grab these socks for you. You don’t have enough socks.” Manuia grabs a pair of grey cotton socks. They look comfy at least. “Nursing pads, bras?”

His entire body flushes, Seth turns away from the giant’s attention. “Have more than enough.”

“I don’t know why you’re so embarrassed all of a sudden.” Manuia teases. “Is this all you’re going to need?” this giant of a man says that as if the trolley has a less than five items when it’s actually the opposite. Their trolley is packed. Seth has given into temptation and bought the babies a few other items that they probably won’t need at the moment but he can’t help it. Don’t judge him, it totally happens unconsciously.

“Yes.”

After paying for their items, they exit the store. There’s no chaos this time. Seth is grateful for it. But people take his pictures without his consent. Twice, he has to stop Manuia from going to wreak havoc on the stupid onlookers. He’s given up on this. He really has. He doesn’t even care anymore.

“Fucking stalkers!” Manuia bellows when he gets to the driver’s side. “I should knock their teeth out for this.”

“Don’t be stupid, that would only cause you problems.”

Manuia regards him with a confused expression. “How are you so calm about this whole thing?”

“There’s more important things I’d rather focus my energy on. I don’t care about them anymore. As long as they’re not touching me, I don’t care.”

“You’re…” Manuia shakes his head, laughing to himself. “You’re something else, consort.”

Seth doesn’t know how to respond to that so he doesn’t.

“So…” Manuia continues after a few minutes of silence.

“So…” Seth echoes, laughing a little.

“Roman’s coming on Monday.”

Seth’s heart jumps to his throat. “I know…” he tries not to smile too hard. There are butterflies swimming connivingly in his belly.

“How are you feeling?”

“Nervous,” he bites his lip. Looking out the window, he continues quietly. “I…don’t know what to expect. But I am…happy too. I—I’m so happy that he wants to do this. I’m glad he wants to be there for his family.”

“Good, good.” Manuia turns the volume up a bit. It’s an artist Seth recognizes, because Manuia plays him so much. Keith Sweat’s ‘Twisted’ fills the car. Manuia has begun humming softly, and he’s moving around a bit in the car. The picture makes Seth happy. “I think he’s just as nervous as you if not more.”

A small snort from Seth, “Roman? Nervous?”

“It’s been three months, Seth.”

“No need to remind me,” Seth whispers, letting through a shaky breath. “It hurts enough as it is.”

“I know, I’m just saying he’s bound to be nervous too. He hasn’t seen you in so long.”

“How’s his therapy going?”

“Dr. Carson’s going to come over this side. On Mondays and Fridays. To keep up with their sessions.”

“Oh?” Seth’s widened gaze snaps to Manuia. “Why?” he refuses to let himself believe that Roman would…that he would—

“Balance. He wants to be here with you but he doesn’t want to neglect therapy. So he’ll have her come here so that she can continue to help him. He’s serious about this, Seth. About you, and your family.”

“I, um… he really is serious about this whole thing, huh?” it’s a disbelieving whisper, tears brimming in Seth’s eyes.

“I doubt he’d go to Dr. Carson’s offices for the past three months for shenanigans, sweetheart.”

“I-I know, it’s just…Manuia…” Seth shakes his head, wiping a lone tear. It’s two tear drops actually. Or maybe three. Oh fuck it, it’s an entire waterfall. Sue him, he’s pregnant. “I—sometimes it’s so hard to believe. He was so against it before.”

“Well you better believe it. He’s trying, and that’s the important thing.”

“I agree. Thank you,” he accepts Manuia’s offered hand and steps out of the car. It feels like it takes them an eternity to do that.  

Roman’s mother is visiting today, but she stayed behind to take care of the house while they went for his checkup. Aromatic scents waft the air as soon as they enter the house. Seth moans deeply, whatever Mama’s making smells heavenly. If there’s one thing he loves about her almost daily visits, it’s her meals. She never leaves the house without cooking up a storm. He used to complain before but he’s always hungry lately so the complaints have lessened. In fact they’ve completely died out.

“I’ll take these bags to your room.” Manuia whispers into his ear.

“Thanks,” Seth smiles appreciatively, strolling to the kitchen after Manuia’s kissed his hair. “Knock, knock…”

Forest green eyes look up, “Oh, you guys are finally back. It took you longer than usual today. I hope nothing’s wrong.” Roman’s mother comes to kiss his cheek. “Did everything go okay?” she cups his cheeks, searching his eyes.

“Yes, Mama.” Seth nods, beaming brightly. “My doctors are happy with everything. They were worried about my weight gain the previous week but it’s picked up this week. It makes them happy that I’m the size of an elephant, and I have to say…it kinda makes me happy too.”

Roman’s mother chuckles mellifluously. She shakes her head, moving away from Seth to go and stir whatever it is that she’s making (Seth thinks it’s Sapasui, he hopes it is). “Is that so?”

“I don’t even break down anymore. I’ve just accepted my fate.”

“That’s the spirit. Care to explain why it took so long though?”

“Um…” Seth looks at his feet, guilty.

“You guys went out, didn’t you?”

“Just to Target. I needed a few essentials.”

“And you couldn’t do it online?”

“No ma’am,” Seth taps his fingers on the kitchen island, smiling too innocently.

Mama shakes her head in disapproval, but she has a faint smile painting her lips. “Just this once. Don’t let it happen again, amore.”

“Yes ma’am,” Seth salutes her, or attempts to. Getting his right leg to lift up is a bit problematic.

Mama cackles again, “You’re just as immature as your husband sometimes.”

Seth remains silent, cherishing her words. He always has to pause and absorb them completely when Roman’s mother calls her son his husband. It used to hurt before (it still does but it gets better) and he’d be mad at her but she’s just like Dr. Baldwin. They both don’t give a fuck about what he says. To both of them he’s still an Anoa’i. “Go to the living room, I’ll bring you a full plate of Sapasui.”

Ah, so he guessed right. “Okay.” Seth is already moving his feet. Mama makes the best Samoan Chop Suey. It’s tantalizing, and it’s one of his favorites. Especially now that he’s pregnant. Manuia makes it for him all the time but it’s not as good. At the doorway, he looks over his shoulder, and says softly, “I’ll ask Manuia to bring down the sonogram pictures. Dr. Baldwin got a really good shot of their heads. He was able to fit them in one picture! That’s very rare apparently, not with my gestation age and how cramped it is in there.”

“I can’t wait to see them!” Those forest green orbs light up. “I’ll be there shortly, amore.”

“Okay,” Seth takes two steps before looking at Roman’s mother again. His heart flutters with so much love. “I really love you, Mama. Thank you for everything.”

He’s caught her off guard. Seth can tell with the way her eyes water, but her smile is so bright. It lights up his entire world. “I love you too, amore. I love you so much.”

* * *

 

Today’s the day.

When Seth looks back, it felt like Monday was too far away. On Friday, he carried on about his day as usual. It was the same thing on Saturday. And yesterday, in the early hours of the morning maybe. But at night, he’d talked to Roman, who’d again reminded him that no, this isn’t a dream. He’ll be here, in Tampa, in less than an hour.

The royal took his advise, Bobby’s going to fly him here (they’re probably on their way already) and then he’s going to book into the same hotel as his mother. He’ll do whatever he needs to do there and then he’s going to…

Seth’s heart pumps harder all over again, only intensifying his anxiety. It hasn’t lessened, since last night, the anxiety has only been increasing. “Just breathe, breathe…” he reminds himself, scowling in frustration at his reflection. He’s hot, has decided to bypass any pants, and settled for a baggy shirt that he bought a few days ago. It reaches his thighs, and he wonders if Roman will over think things.

That has him scrambling, well waddling, he’s waddling to the walk-in closet to find something to slip on beneath his white shirt. He’s not trying to seduce Roman. He’s not. Seth scans the closet but ends up rushing to the bathroom empty handed because he needs to pee badly. And then he fixates on his hair, it’s a bit messy, so he decides to fix it. Running his hands through the wild curls (it’s the way Roman likes his hair) he makes sure to fluff it up a bit before rinsing his hands and exiting the bathroom.

Back in his bedroom, all thoughts about putting on any under garment are completely forgotten. Seth puts on his slippers instead, and tries to calm his nerves. If he could, he’d clean his room all over again just to pass time but he’s done that three times already. And he’s lucky that Manuia even allowed him to do it. A knock on his door stops his musings. “He’s ten minutes away. I better leave.” Manuia appears at the doorway.

Seth nods his head, following Manuia to the front door. The big man is opening the door when Seth’s panic sets in. He’s going to see _him._ “No, Manuia wait!” he begs, grabbing onto Manuia’s arm, and shaking in newfound anxiety. “Please d-don’t leave me.” A few tears threaten to escape. “I-I’m scared.”

Manuia pauses at the door, kissing his hair. “Of Roman? You were fine throughout the day, Seth.”

Seth shakes his head frantically, “I-I can change my mind. I-I can get scared. I-I don’t want to see him.”

“Seth, come on. You’ll be fine, this is the guy you shared your bed with for nearly six months. What are you scared of?”

“I—emotionally, he scares me. I-I don’t know if I’m ready. What do I say to him?”

“Talk about the babies. That’s a safe topic for both of you.”

“And we don’t have to talk about the other things?”

“No, you don’t have to talk about anything you’re uncomfortable with.”

Seth bites his lip, shaking his head. “It’s going to be awkward, Manuia. I—just know. I-I…”

“Calm down,” Manuia hugs him. “It’s been three fucking months, of course it’s going to be fucking awkward. But rather do it now and get it out of the way than stall, don’t you think?”

Seth nods absently.

“Look I have to go. That date night I have with Bobby…he’s waiting.”

“Of course,” Seth clears his throat, cursing his silent tears. Manuia wipes them away. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. If you’re uncomfortable, call me. Anytime, okay?”

Another absent nod, Seth is unable to respond. How can he, when Manuia places one last kiss to his head before opening the door to leave? How can he when not ten minutes later, the doorbell rings? He can’t respond because a whimper leaves him instead, gaze widened. _It’s him._ Seth’s heart rate picks up, beating hard to the point of insanity. Shaking badly, Seth furiously tries to wipe away the tears. _It’s okay_. Letting out a shuddered breath, his trembling hand connects with the doorknob, opening slowly, fearfully.  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	42. Chapter 42

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya!!! Hope you're all having a splendid day! That's all I want to say really. LOL. And of course, thank you so much for reading <3

Big, brown eyes are the first thing that Roman is greeted with. So beautiful, familiar—they leave him completely enchanted. He gains heart problems, so many emotions crashing through him. Part of him still thinks that this is a dream that he’ll wake up from. But…he is here. The familiarity of Seth’s vanilla orchid scent teases his nostrils.

Roman carefully observes him, Seth is big. Much larger than the pictures that Roman’s seen of him. The sight makes him…happy. It means that Seth is healthy. That he’s eating. Eating means that he’s taking care of his wellbeing. Of the babies. The smile stretching the royal’s lips is completely instinctual. His heart falters while briefly he registers that Seth is still wearing his traditional pendant. Good, it means he still knows. Who he belongs to. Where he belongs. It means that maybe…there’s a chance.

Seth is wearing a white oversized shirt, it just reaches his thighs. He’s wearing nothing else but the shirt. Despite his large belly, Roman thinks he’s never looked more gorgeous, more desirable. He tries, he really does, to keep his mind away from any impure thoughts as he fixates on Seth’s thighs. They look thicker to him somehow, it must be because of pregnancy, but they succeed in getting his dick to react in his dress pants. Roman releases what he hopes is a discreet groan, gaze snapping back to beautiful brown eyes.

He doesn’t want to stray from his agenda. The reason that he’s here is so that Seth and himself can talk. Right now, he’s not sure about what exactly or why they’re doing this at 08:30 in the evening but he’s here. It was Manuia’s idea really, and Roman, he gave in too easily. Call it impatience. He hasn’t had this…privilege in so long. And he just wanted to see Seth. Seth…whose eyes are quivering. His doe eyes speak words of fiery anger, and utter wretchedness. Roman clears his throat, now noticing just how red they are. _He’s been crying._ Regret sweeps across Roman’s face, making him rub his face, curving his head to the side thereafter. _Maybe this was a mistake._ “Seth, I—” he’s left standing dumbfounded, the pregnant man walking away from him.

Roman stands outside for a while, unsure if he should enter the house. The door is still open though, and after five minutes Roman invites himself inside. The beauty of the house he’s in barely reaches his eyes, he can’t bring himself to care about it’s details right now. The hallway flows into a large, wide staircase though and the only thing that Roman registers about this house is that it’s warm, homey—something that has become so foreign to him. Finding the living room, disappointment hits Roman when he finds it empty. Seth isn’t here.

Not that Seth’s to be blamed. Roman understands that maybe the anger he’d seen in doe eyes is meant for him. He won’t blame Seth. But again, maybe this whole thing was a mistake. Maybe he should’ve stayed away. Or he could’ve waited until tomorrow. Or maybe Manuia could’ve remained behind with them. To serve as mediator. Maybe he could’ve—

No.

It’s no use now. He’s…here. It’s done. Can’t be undone. Maybe, maybe Seth went to the bathroom. Maybe he’ll come back. Roman has a thing about making himself comfortable in people’s houses uninvited. He can’t do it. Which is why he stands in Manuia and Seth’s living room, lost. He’s carrying a carrier bag with food as a peace offering for one of the last times that he saw Seth, and he’s lost—so out of place.

An hour later and he’s still standing. He’s scrutinized every piece of the living room, and has taken the time to appreciate the dark and tan colors that seem to dominate the living room. It’s all so cozy, so warm. Maybe it has to do with the fireplace situated on the interior wall facing south. It has a tall mantel of birch wood with turned spindles flanking rectangular mirror supporting a tapered hood. On the hearth are dark tiles of geometric designs with lighter colored tiles of a thistle design around the firebox. Or maybe it’s the entirety of it—how it’s littered with Lanuolan art, it’s warm tan wallpaper, the choice of furniture. It’s everything.

Checking the time again, Roman realizes that an hour and thirty minutes have now passed. Finally giving in, carefully, he settles on one of the beige couches, placing the carrier bag with Seth’s goodies on the sparkling mahogany coffee table. What should he do?

Roman’s still so lost, so out of place. An unfamiliar feeling to him, it rarely happens, but right now he’s anxious. He looks at his watch again—10:15 pm. Another fifteen minutes have flown by. It’s obvious that Seth—wherever he is—won’t be making an appearance soon (at all) but Roman still waits in the living room; hoping. Which is funny because were Seth to come join him, the royal wouldn’t even know where to begin. An apology maybe. Find out about the kids next. And then…nothing. He’s scared too, just as nervous. _This is a mistake._ He’s…imposing. Not purposefully but he is.

At 10:30 Roman decides that it’s time he gave up. His hands are shaking as he retrieves his phone to call Manuia. His heart’s ripping apart too. It’s an unfair emotion to feel but the hurt can’t be evaded. _This is a mistake._ Groaning, he starts to unbutton his dress shirt, leaving it open to let in some air. “Come back,” are the only words that leave him before he hangs up. There is no time for explanations. Roman just wants to get out of here. Before the emotions overwhelm him. Before everything gets to him. He can’t let the darkness steal a piece of his soul.  

Manuia is home in less than thirty minutes. Roman stands up before he can make his presence known. There’s a part of him that’s annoyed towards himself for having settled on the couch without permission. The emotion is welcomed, it distracts him from those other, more brooding ones. “Leati, mea na tupu?” Manuia strides into the living room, Bobby right behind him.

“Nothing…nothing happened,” Roman buttons his shirt, sparing Manuia a second’s glance before maneuvering past him. “I have to go. I’ll see you later.” His hand disentangles from Manuia’s grip roughly. “What. Is. It?” there’s two Manuias. Why is his vision swimming? Roman’s jaw tightens painfully, head tilted to the side.

“What happened? What’s wrong?”

“ _Nothing,_ ” Roman draws out this time, talking slower, condescendingly. “Will you let me go now—please?” There’s a dark warning beneath his controlled tone.

“No,” Manuia shakes his head. “You’re not going to do this. You’ve been doing well in therapy. You’re not going to undo it.”

Despite his stone face, a tear does escape Roman this time, sneakily revealing his pain. “I—this was a mistake.” He whispers, tone still so controlled. “I have to go, Manuia. Your house…” he lifts a hand, gesturing stiffly. “Too suffocating. I—can’t breathe.”

Manuia considers him for what feels like forever before his expression softens. “Fine,” a sigh. “But can you at least tell me what happened? Please brother. Did you guys argue? What’s wrong?”

“He won’t talk to me.” Roman shrugs stiffly. Moving away from Manuia, he looks over his shoulder, adding. “He—left. I don’t, it’s not his fault. Tell him I’m sorry. I really have to go now.”

“Wait!” he’s almost out of the living room when Manuia’s panicked tone echoes in the quiet room. Roman pauses midstep with his back still turned to Manuia and Bobby. “Please don’t do anything…hasty. Don’t…leave. Not yet. He wants you here, he does. I’ll talk to him.”

Roman nods once, and walks out.

* * *

 

Two knocks sound at Seth’s door before the it opens, making him grateful that he doesn’t have to respond. He doesn’t have the energy at the moment. And he knows that it’s Manuia. Futilely, he tries to stop his crying, to spare himself the embarrassment. But he’s…hurt. Doesn’t understand a lot of the emotions he’s going through. Wrapping his arms around his pillow tighter, Seth closes his eyes when he feels the bed dip beside him.

“Hey sweetheart,” Manuia brushes a few strands of hair away from his face.

Seth remains silent, bottom lip bitten until he’s drawing blood. _It…hurts._ He’s missed Roman, so much. And seeing him again… _Get over yourself._ Dear god it hurts. His heart is cracking into a billion pieces all over again, it feels like it’s being trampled on and thrown at his face—the process is repetitive. Agonized gasps leave Seth, his tears falling harder. “Y-You shouldn’t have left me alone with him,” he sniffles, looking at Manuia through his wet vision.

Manuia sighs, running his fingers through the brunet’s messy hair. “I…am sorry. I thought—no. It doesn’t matter what I thought. I’m so sorry, sweetheart.”

Quivering eyes regard Manuia sadly. “I c-couldn’t do—it,” is cracked out hoarsely. “I saw— _him,_ and I couldn’t do it. It hurt even more, Manuia. I-I don’t understand. I’m happy that he’s here. That he wants to do this for his family. But I’m mad at him too. I’m angry at him. I’m so angry for so many reasons. He—left me. Just like that, he let me go. A-And he’s missed so much. I, _you_ were here, f-fulfilling _his_ responsibilities. _You_ not _him._ Now he wants to come back to do this for the babies. Part of me wants to deny him, Manuia. God, I want to so desperately. I want to hurt him.”

“Seth…” Manuia whispers. “That’s not healthy. Those are not healthy emotions. I understand why you’d feel that way but that doesn’t mean that what you’re feeling is right, sweetheart.”

“I k-know,” is stammered through a pained breath. “I—won’t do it. This isn’t about me—or him. It’s about our children. That he helped create. T-They deserve to have their father with them. He wants to be in their lives. I can’t deny them that. But I’m still so m-mad, Manuia. He…hurt me.”

“I know…but I wish that you’d try to see where he was coming from, Seth. I am not taking his side, but look at how far he’s come since your separation. Look at how far he’s gone to try and better himself. For _you._ For your _family._ No man does that for someone he doesn’t love. No man changes for someone he’s not afraid to lose. Yes, he let you go. But I think being without you further fueled his desire to change. For the first time in a long ass time, he felt the pain of losing someone he cares so deeply about. It forced him to sort his shit out. I wish you’d see his side too, Seth…”

Seth’s eyes widen with a fury that surpasses the others. “Don’t you dare defend him! You don’t know I went through, what I’m still going through. I—he hurt me!”

“I know, Seth. I am not dismissing your pain…I-I want you to talk about it. I know that you’re hurting, and I am not defending Roman. I’m just saying that everything that he’s done since that night, he’s done because he loves you. Because he didn’t want to hurt you. You said yourself, he needs to learn how to love. He couldn’t do that while you were right there with him. You’re his safe place, he’d have had you to fall back on. And let’s be honest, you’re not exactly a pro at denying him. The whole thing would’ve been a mess, Seth.”

“THEN WHAT IS HE DOING HERE?” Seth covers his mouth, sobbing dejectedly. Manuia is ruining this for him. He’s trying to shatter the very solid wall that Seth’s spent so much time building. Roman _left_ him. His reasons don’t matter. He still left.

“His therapist gave him the okay. He hasn’t lost focus of what’s important. The therapy is still going to continue, he’s shown improvement so she doesn’t see a reason why he should be away from you. At least for the birth of the babies.”

“He’s still going to come—here. He still needs to get rid of his pain. I—won’t deny him,” Seth looks Manuia in the eyes. Again, he doesn’t understand much of his feelings. But right now, he’s bitter. Will do anything it takes to prove himself right. Roman hurts…the only thing he ever does is hurt. Like he’s doing now with his presence. Like he does with his messages and his calls. Like he’d do with his disappearances. Like he’d do on nights where Seth would pay with his body. Like he did that night Seth got his heart broken by him. He hurts…Roman hurts.

Manuia tenses, searching his eyes. The pain Seth finds in his dark pools makes him feel guilty. Causes him to look down in shame. When did he become so…miserable?

“Seth…I—”

“I-I’m sorry, Manuia…” Seth interrupts him, whispering his words. “I don’t understand what’s wrong with me. I a-am feeling a lot of things. I’m happy he’s here, truly I am. I—love him. I’m so in love with him. He’s everything. And that includes my pain. I—despise him for the pain he’s caused me.”

“This is why I told you about a therapist. You need one to reveal all these feelings to.”

“I-I, mhm, uh…” Seth sniffles, shaking his head. He doesn’t even know what he wants to say.

Manuia nails him with a level stare. “You know you do. Your thoughts are not healthy, Seth. You don’t say some of these things that are leaving your mouth. You don’t allow someone to hurt you…even if it is to prove a point. You don’t do that. You need a therapist. It’s not use denying it.”

Seth starts to cry again.

“I-I want to be alone.”

“Seth—”

“Please,” it’s a whisper.

A sigh, “Okay. I’ll…Roman brought you a few goodies. I’ll bring them, in case you get hungry.”

Seth doesn’t respond, but his heart flutters. He has no idea how that’s happening with the way it’s also breaking apart at the moment. But it must be Roman’s skill at work again. The one that successfully gets Seth to feel so many contradicting emotions all at the same time.

“There you go. I’ll see you in the morning. Goodnight sweetheart,” Manuia kisses his hair, leaving him to be in his thoughts.

Seth actively avoids thinking about _him,_ and anything relating to the conversation he had with Manuia, choosing to think about a movie he watched earlier. And gossip he heard from Dean. He thinks about a woman who should’ve been arrested by the fashion police. He remembers her from a long while ago, from when he used to stay in Miami. He doesn’t know why he chooses to settle on her exactly, but tiny tickles bubble from inside his throat, and he releases them—they’re small giggles.

His stomach growls nearly an hour later, and Seth forces himself to sit up. The goodies Manuia told him about are in a large white carrier bag sat on his bedside table. Leaning more comfortably against the headboard, Seth grabs the bag, placing it on top of his lap. A widened gaze accompanies his silent gasp as he opens the bag. Grapes, so many of them in a large container, and a two litter bottle of grape juice. His mouth salivates, this is exactly what he needs. There’s his favorite chocolate too, the ones he lied to Roman about not being a favorite of. There’s his favorite hot wings, and Masina’s fish tacos in a large lunch box. And a note…

_Three months late, but I didn’t forget anything this time._

_P.S I know the chocolates are your favorite._

The tears fall faster than ever before. Roman’s…he’s recreated the entire meal from that Sunday. The love increases tenfold. Seth doesn’t want it to but dear god it does. He’s not even trying. Roman’s not even trying. Why is he doing this?

_He cares about you._

Maybe. It’s possible. Seth is carrying the royal’s kids after all…the kids that Roman cares so much about. Conflicted on what to do, Seth stares at his phone for a long time. To thank Roman or not to? It would be impolite not to. But then again, he doesn’t want to talk to the royal. Not tonight. Because he is still angry. He is still hurt. He is still feeling so much.

_Seth: Thank you for the food._

It was the right thing to do Seth convinces himself after he’s sent the message.

_Roman: It’s a pleasure._

The message hadn’t come for at least ten minutes.

_Roman: Goodnight, Seth. I…send my love to the babies._

This one came less than a minute later.

_Seth: I will._

Seth responds immediately. He looks at their messages, and for some reason, just keeps going back and back, reaching the ones in which they used to be happy. One of the last ones he shared was a stupid joke Dean had sent him about his friend having a new hobby of taking pictures of salmon wearing different clothes. And there’s a sexting session. A few nudes here and there. Those were Roman’s favorites. Along with the ones of undying affection. As well as the ones where they’d share music. Roman had been the last one to send him a song, he’d usually send majority of them anyway. It’s a Dave Koz track. Seth still has it on his phone. He still has every memory stored in there. Not that he needs his phone to do that for him.

Men like Roman are inescapable. Every memory is so freshly ingrained in Seth’s brain. Even the things he tries to forget he meets in his dreams. There is no escape. Seth sometimes thinks it’s the pendant, that if only he’d take it off then everything would go away. He’s learned that it’s usually his naivety speaking. How can he escape someone who owns a piece of him?

Roman snatched his heart. Maybe snatched isn’t the right word, because Seth willingly (he now realizes how foolish it was) gave away his heart to the same bastard who’s breaking it. Roman owns him, his soul. There is no escape. No way out. And he suspects that that part of him that’s a masochist for Roman wouldn’t want to. Yes, there’s something definitely wrong with him.

* * *

 

“Morning,” Manuia knocks twice on his door, inviting himself inside.

Seth makes a small sound in acknowledgement, trying on a black baggy sweater, before taking it off. He hates wearing bright colors but it’s too hot for dark colors today, and he’s so hot. Scanning through his closet, he picks a few clothes, walking back to the bedroom. He finds Manuia sitting on the bed. “Is Bobby still here?” Seth tries on another item, a white t-shirt this time. It’s tight around his belly, and he takes it off, frustrated. Dammit! It no longer fits him the way it’s supposed to.

“No. He went back to the hotel.”

“What time? I could hear both of you,” he reveals absently, trying on another sweater and giving himself a dissatisfied glance on the mirror. This one’s also small, it belongs to Roman. Seth throws it on the bed, momentarily levelling Manuia with an inquiring gaze. The big man squirms, Seth has a fleeting suspicion it has nothing to do with the repercussions of having taken dick inside his ass. It’s probably because of his behavior, Manuia screams like a banshee during sex. Seth is still so disgusted. Well not really. Just a bit jealous and resentful maybe.

“Sorry about that,” Manuia has the decency to look guilty. “He left about an hour ago.”

“Oh…” it’s 08:00 am now. “How does this look?” he faces Manuia, trying to find out if it’s acceptable to step out in public—with a belly as large as his—wearing a white sweater.

“Um, yes.”

“Okay,” Seth removes it, deciding on the dark grey one. He smiles when he makes eye contact with Manuia on the mirror—the big man is rolling his eyes in fake annoyance.

“You always do this you shithead!”

“White’s not my color,” Seth shrugs unapologetically.  He looks at his hair next. Now this will be a challenge. “My appointment’s at eleven?” he seeks confirmation from Manuia, who has decided to come and help him with the tangles in his hair.

“Yup,” Manuia observes him on the mirror again. “Roman hasn’t left you know. He is still here…”

Biting his lip, Seth tries to look unaffected, but his heart rate is picking up. He hates it. There’s always a reaction. Always. “So what?”

“So…do you…don’t make me spell it out for you, Seth.”

“Thank you,” Seth whispers once Manuia’s tied his hair into a low bun. But he’s got misbehaving hair, can rarely get it to be super neat (something Roman accomplishes without even trying). Manuia is still scrutinizing him on the mirror, awaiting a response. “It’s still so early. M-Maybe he’s still sleeping.”

A snort is what he receives in return. “You know that’s untrue.”

Following Manuia to the kitchen, Seth barely stops his hands from trembling. Last night hadn’t gone well. He doesn’t want to embarrass himself in front of his doctors. Not in public. Seeing _him_ again, it’s stirring a world of emotion within him. He…doesn’t know what to do.

“You can say no. No one’s going to hold it against you.”

“I…yes,” Seth responds absently, nervous breath sneaking past.

“Yes? No…?” Manuia sets his food in front of him.

“Yes,” Seth is not brave enough to make eye contact. “I…it wouldn’t feel right to deny him this. H-He’s…here. It wouldn’t be fair for him to miss out.”

“Are you sure?”

“100 percent,” Seth whispers.

The grin Manuia graces him with tells Seth that this whole thing’s worth it. Seth returns it, not as bright, but a grin nonetheless. “I’ll inform him,” Manuia exits the kitchen.

Seth nervously tries to finish his food, the butterflies in his belly are making it impossible for him to. Hopefully things won’t go so bad this time around. Yesterday, he revealed to Manuia how mad he is at Roman for everything he’s missed. Now that he’s here, Seth can’t deny him the opportunity to find out more about his children. Their growth. How well they’re doing. Maybe he could visit the NICU too. For his own mental preparation as well.

“He’ll come at 10.” Manuia sneaks into the kitchen, breaking Seth’s thoughts in the process.

Seth blinks rapidly, nodding. “Do I look good in this?”

Manuia chuckles.

Seth throws the nastiest glare towards the big man while discouraging his body from heating up. It disobeys…like usual. “What? I refuse to look like crap in front of him. I won’t allow him to see how badly he broke me. I always need to look good, always.”

A sigh from Manuia this time, “Yeah. You’re stunning, sweetheart.”

“Thank you.”

“Okay. I’ll do the dishes. We’ll watch a movie and then we’re leaving at 10. Roman’s going to drive here though, and then we’ll ride with him.”

Seth bites his lip. _Close_ _proximity_. “O-Okay…” he gulps, breath quickening.

The movie they watch serves as background noise. Seth doesn’t know what it’s about. He keeps stealing a glance at his phone. When the clock hits 09:55, his heart rate picks up even faster, making him clutch it in fear. He’s not ready.

He’s still not ready when the doorbell rings.

“Calm down, I’m right here.” Manuia nudges him, momentarily breaking his anxiety.

“Y-Yeah, I know.” Clearing his throat, Seth stares at his hands.

“Are you ready? Do you need a minute?”

“Go to him.”

Manuia spares him a second’s glance, nods once and leaves.

Footsteps echo right behind him. Seth pretends to be focused on the movie. He’s not. Roman’s behind him. He doesn’t need to look behind him to know that. Seth knows because he’s always so damn _aware_ of the royal. He knows because Roman’s presence is always so damn _overwhelming._ Faster and faster Seth’s heart starts to beat. His body is reacting. There is a heaviness on his shoulders. He hates how he immediately feels like crying.

“Seth, are you ready?” even Manuia can’t break this _connection_ that Seth feels flowing between himself and the man who hasn’t said anything. Who’s still right behind him, burning Seth hot with his gaze.

Readying himself to release coherent words, Seth mentally counts to three in his head. And then he extends the time to ten seconds, before looking over his shoulder. _His_ gaze is already on him. Seth can’t help staring right back, held in place by an unwavering gaze. _He’s gorgeous._ It annoys him to admit it but it’s true. Seth fell in love with an Adonis. A man who is an ethereal god.

Roman’s dressed casually, in a black Nike tracksuit and sneakers. The bun on his head is tied meticulously, not a hair out of place as usual. _He’s beautiful._ Seth is paralyzed, staring at his happiness, his pain. Staring at his high, and his low. He’s paralyzed, staring at the epitome of limitless beauty. His everything. _Snap out of it._ It’s proving difficult, there’s a flicker of an energy he can’t fathom flowing between himself and the man regarding with him with infinitely dark eyes.

 _No._ His heart whines when after a long silence Roman clears his throat, looking away. He’s rubbing his neck, shuffling on one foot then other. He looks so unsure. Like a little child. Seth loves this look on him. The Roman he knows is always so sure of himself. So responsible. So competent. But he still manages to look like a child. He wears the lost look so well. Seth tries hard to keep from smiling but it paints his lips, his eyes lighting up.

“Are you ready to go, Seth?” Manuia repeats.

Seth’s cheeks blush crimson. “Yes,” he whispers. “Come help me up.”

Manuia rolls his eyes but obeys. “We’re using your car, brother.” He tells Roman while Seth follows silently behind him.

“Hi,” Seth greets when he’s in close proximity to _him._

The strained smile Roman gives him forces him to part his lips for air. He lets out a long breath, and briefly, he notices how Roman inhales, before clenching his jaw. “Seth…” his name sounds weird coming from Roman’s lips. It’s set, too controlled.

They both say nothing else.

“Alrighty, let’s bounce.” Manuia still isn’t successfully the electricity pulsing between them.  

Barely successfully breaking their connection, Seth walks on the other side of Manuia as they head for the front door. Even with the separation, Seth can feel the familiar pull that’s fighting to gravitate him towards Roman. It’s pure torture, having to fight against that instinct and stay away. But it’s for the best. “Are you driving?” he whispers to Manuia.

“No. Roman is.”

Seth exhales in relief. Thank goodness. That…it means they won’t have to sit next to each other. It means he won’t embarrass himself by doing something stupid unconsciously. Like maybe lean into Roman on the way to the hospital. Or hold his hand (he used to do that a lot) were the royal to sit next to him. Or kiss his cheek (he used to do that a lot too) and mutter words of undying affection.

“Thank you,” he whispers when Manuia helps him get situated in the car. The big man hums melodiously, going to the other side. “I think we’re running a bit late.” He continues quietly.

“Only five minutes,” Manuia replies. “There shouldn’t be too much traffic. There’s still a chance that we’ll make it on time.”

Seth nods once, getting comfortable as the car pulls out of the driveway. Music fills the car, Seth smiles, it’s James Brown. Another of Roman’s favorites. He enjoys the man’s music too. Has admitted it to Roman before. He’s one of the few artists that they would listen to together with Roman. Manuia’s singing beside him, like he usually does, while Seth very hard to keep his gaze from going to the rearview mirror.  

He fails.

Roman’s darkened gaze is on him. Seth can’t read the emotions in his eyes. The royal’s a master at that. But it sparks the connection again, the electricity. It’s palpable. Seth can feel it all around them. It has his breath quickening, and his heart rate spiking to the point of madness. He wants to look away, but Roman has him imprisoned. The intensity of his stare, despite his blank gaze. Delicious warmth pools throughout Seth’s body, his groin foolishly reacting. _No, you’re not doing this._ He rebukes himself. Not after…everything.

His last thought is enough to clear his lust fog.

 _What are you doing?_ Blinking rapidly when he feels a wetness behind his eyes, Seth quickly shifts his gaze to what’s going on outside the car. He can’t afford to do this. Not again. Being Roman, it’s burnt him once. He’s still paying for being in love with the royal. He…can’t afford to do this. He can’t. Never mind that it’s all he wants. All he’s been craving. It’s…he wants this. He wants Roman. But he doesn’t. The past can’t be erased. Letting through a shuddering breath, Seth shakes his head. He’s so confused. Roman’s making him confused. He always does this.

When the car parks at St. Nichol’s parking area, he’s out of the car in the blink of an eye, surprising himself in the process. And Manuia. Seth had heard his incredulous, “What the fuck?”

“I need to pee,” Seth lies, rushing inside the hospital. He needs a minute to gather himself. To sort out his emotions. His mind’s spinning, feelings all over the place. In the bathroom, he stares at himself on the mirror. There are bags under his eyes. He didn’t have the greatest of nights. Partly because of Manuia and Bobby, but also because his mind wouldn’t switch off. Like it’s doing now. It’s so frustrating. “Don’t be so dramatic,” he chides himself, eyes narrowed on the mirror. “Row-man’s here, so what? You’ve been doing just fine without him. You’re still going to do just fine. The babies, he’s here for his babies. Yeah, the babies.”

Seth jumps as a quiet chuckle sounds behind him.

“That’s the spirit!” Manuia joins him at the sinks, flashing a pleased grin.

Rolling his eyes, Seth refocuses his attention to the mirror, fixing the curls in his hair. “Is it time?” Manuia had been right that chances were they’d arrive a bit early at the hospital. They made it here ten minutes early.

“Yup.”

“Okay. Let’s go.”

Manuia grips his wrist, scrutinizing him. “You’re ready?”

It’s more than one question. Seth hasn’t a definite answer though. “Yes,” the only thing that he’s ready for is his appointment with his doctors. “Where is he?”

“In the OB/GYN office with your doctors. They’re splendidly surprised to see him.”

Seth snorts, “Isn’t it the same with everyone he meets? He’s a magnet for attention.”

Manuia chuckles loudly, opening the door to the OB/GYN office.

“Oh great, Mr. Anoa’i you’ve finally decides to join us.”

Seth actively avoids looking in Roman’s direction when Dr. Baldwin says that. This old man is sparking a tension between himself and his…whatever Roman is to him. The greying doctor knows perfectly well that Roman and him are separated. “Dr. Baldwin; Dr. Kumar—how are you?”

“Great. Why don’t we get started?”

Seth nods his head. He’s still thirty weeks, and Dr. Baldwin guides them through his ultrasound. This session is uneventful if Seth is being honest. Nothing much has changed between now and his last appointment which was on Friday. Well at least for him, Roman on the other hand can’t contain his awe, it’s so palpable. One of the numerous reasons that Seth loves him is that he’s so inquisitive. Sometimes he hates it, when it’s aimed towards him. But he’s never met someone who asks questions as much as Roman does. He manages to look like a detective and a curious child with his dark pools lit up beautifully. Seth is smiling before he can help himself.

Another question that Roman asks (Seth doesn’t remember what it was. He was too dazed) has Dr. Baldwin drawing a picture for the royal that shows how the babies are positioned in there. It’s so ridiculous that Seth can’t help laughing with the others. Roman asks for the sonogram pictures. Seth doesn’t deny him. He hasn’t had this in so long after all.

“Okay, I think we’re done for today.” Dr. Baldwin announces a little over thirty minutes later. “Everything’s looking great, Seth. You’re doing so well.” Despite the set face, Dr. Baldwin’s voice reveals pure excitement…there’s an underlying relief there as well.

“All thanks to you guys,” after wiping the gel off his belly, Seth draws his sweater down. Manuia helps him sit upright. “You both have been nothing but supportive, Doc. I’m thankful to have both of you.”

“It’s our job, and our responsibility to ensure that you’re all well taken care of. Your cervix is still holding up pretty well. You’re reaching the 31st week mark this Friday, if nothing changes before then.”

“Hopefully not,” Seth’s gaze widens. “That would just mess up my whole plan.”

Dr. Baldwin laughs, “I doubt it but anything’s possible. Make sure that you’re always ready. You should’ve packed your hospital bag by now. Any day could be D day.”

“I have,” Seth confirms.

“Good, good.”

“I have a question, Doc.” Roman clears his throat.

“Alright.”

Roman looks at him with a gaze Seth can’t quite decipher before looking to Dr. Baldwin. “I…was wondering—would it be possible to have Seth moved? I just think St. Bernard’s would be much more comfortable for someone in Seth’s…condition. What with him giving birth to four babies and all.”

Seth glares, heart beating fast. The audacity of Roman to do this! What happened to communicating first? This concerns him too. Roman can’t just barge into his life again, and attempt to take over. Not after what he’s missed. Not after what he threw away. Maybe it’s unfair for him to think way but Roman’s pissing him off. “You can’t just do this you know. You can’t just make your way into our lives and start making decisions. Not when we haven’t discussed this first, Row-man!”

“I know, but I just want what’s best for you. St. Bernard’s provides single room care. That would help you and the babies. All the babies would be in one room, and you’d be allowed to join them Seth. I don’t know why you wouldn’t want that—”

“It’s not that I don’t want it! My problem is that you’re doing what—no. I’m not going to do this. Take me home.”

Silence.

The tension here is mounting to dangerous heights. Seth has his face turned away from everyone, glaring into space. His arms are folded across his sensitive chest, and he’s heaving. He doesn’t want to cry, and is trying to keep his emotions from spilling over. It’s just that Roman has no right to do this. None whatsoever. Where has he been all along? Where was he? Just because Seth has agreed to him being here, just because he’s agreed to him being here for the babies, does not give him a right to the other things.

“I want to go home,” he repeats, struggling to his feet. “I’ll see you on Friday?”

Both doctors remain silent for a while, clearly dumfounded. Dr. Kumar breaks out of the reverie first, smiling stiffly. “Of course. Take it easy, okay?”

“I will,” Seth returns her strained smile.

The ride back home is more awkward. Even the music that’s playing on the car isn’t helping. Seth purposely refrains from making contact with Roman on the rearview mirror this time. He looks out the window instead, lip bitten hard to keep from lashing out or crying, although he can feel the tears brimming in his eyes. He allows his hair to curtain him from everyone else in this car. He can’t help wondering though…if he’d even made the right decision by allowing Roman to come here. It hasn’t even been one full day, and they’re already…things are already—

A lone tear sneaks past. Seth can’t wipe it, he can feel Roman’s gaze burning holes into him. He won’t embarrass himself by making it known that he’s crying. Letting through a silent breath, Seth closes his eyes, focuses on the music and shuts everything away. If only for a little while.

He’d like to make a quick escape when they finally reach home. But his body won’t cooperate this time. Seth has to wait for Manuia to come and help him out. The tension is still there, Manuia is regarding him with a tense expression. Seth’s grin of reassurance ends up being too stilted so he gives up. “Are you hungry?” Manuia asks him when they enter the house.

“Um…n-no,” the appetite is lost. There’s only a churning in his belly now. Nervousness, anxiety, panic. _His_ gaze is on him again. What is he searching for? “I’m good.”

“Okay. Look, y’all need to talk.” Manuia announces, loudly enough that they both hear. His announcement only makes Seth a lot more uneasy. He can feel the way his body starts to tremble again, and the way his eyes begin to quiver. “I ain’t leaving this time. I’ll be in the kitchen but y’all need to talk. Otherwise Roman just came all the way here for nothing. And this entire thing is pointless.”

Manuia’s right.

Seth knows he is. But he’s still so nervous. His panic increases tenfold when Manuia exits the living room, abandoning Seth to be alone with _him._ Just the two of them. All alone. In silence. They have a lot of things to confront. A lot to talk about. Breaking out of his stupor first, Seth waddles to sit on one of the couches. He stares at his palms, feeling Roman burning holes into him once more. The man’s still standing, hasn’t moved one bit, like some statue. _A mannequin._ Seth reminds himself. He’s forgotten how creepy Roman can get sometimes.

“Aren’t you going to sit down?” Seth braves the eye contact after fifteen minutes of nothing.

The creepy stare remains for another five minutes before Roman nods, joining him on the couch. _No,_ _no._ This isn’t what Seth meant. He can’t deal with the close proximity. This would only mean—

The connection is sparked again. Binding them together.

Seth bites his lip, gaze suspiciously fixed to his hands. His heart’s beating so fast. Roman’s delicious warmth, his aura—it radiates off of him, drawing Seth in. The royal’s closeness to him is doing things to him. Affecting him. His aura threatens to consume Seth whole. Clearing his throat, Seth moves away a bit, trying to create some distance. Not that it helps. The fire is still right there, burning brightly and too hot. Roman inhales sharply, before also clearing his throat. Seth thinks he’s just as affected. Maybe. He’s not sure.

The silence seems to last forever before Seth speaks quietly, “You had no right to do that. We’ve been doing—fine without you. You can’t just barge into my life and take over, Row-man. That’s not h-how a partnership works.” This is a safe topic. He thinks it is.

Another bout of silence.

Roman’s mouthwatering exhale wafts his nostrils. “I’m sorry. I just want what’s best for you.”

“You should’ve discussed it with me first.”

“I know, I apologize.”

“What’s new?” The words leave Seth before he can stop them.

“I…I’m not looking for a fight, Seth.”

“We’re not fighting,” Seth whispers, although he can feel something twisting within his heart. “I’m just saying for someone who’s been absent for so long, you have no right to just come back in our lives and attempt to move on like nothing’s happen—”

“That’s not what I’m doing,” Roman cuts in, calm as ever. This bastard.

“Then what are you doing because that’s what it looks like. You left us. We needed you, and you left us! Do you have any idea what you’ve missed? The babies’ first kicks, instead of you being here, I-I had to do with your _brother_ instead. I-I had to share a lot of things with Manuia because of your selfishness. Prenatal classes? Manuia’s available. Prenatal yoga? Manuia again. Nausea? Manuia. Food cravings? Manuia. Sore muscles? Manuia. Manuia, Manuia, Manuia! And where were you? Where were you? You are so selfish, Row-man!”

“Seth…”

“No!” Seth screams, teary gaze glaring at the object of his pain. “Shut up, and listen to me. It’s my turn, and you need to hear this. _You left us, Row-man!_ I begged you, and you still let me go. And now you’re back, wanting to be in our lives, in _my_ children’s lives—after _everything._ After everything you’ve missed! Y-You don’t deserve that.” Roman isn’t looking at him. His gaze focused on his hands, reminding Seth so much of a child again. Seth never knew he could love a trait just as much as he hates it.

“This is why I called, Seth. I—didn’t want to impose on you. If you’d told me how you felt, I would’ve stayed away.”

The response isn’t helping. It angers Seth even more. “Are you listening to yourself?” his tears can’t be helped this time. His heart’s breaking into a billion pieces. “Why is it so easy for you to say that? Why is it so easy for you to stay away, Row-man?”

Roman groans, rubbing his face tiredly. When his gaze finally meets Seth, there’s too much going on with his dark pools. “It’s not, Seth. But I would try. To spare you the hurt, I would try.”

“You’re already hurting me,” Seth scoffs, standing. “I can’t win. You’re here, I’m hurting. You’re not here, and I’m still hurting.”

“T-Then tell me what to do, Seth.” Roman whispers, looking up at him. He’s still so child-like. There’s that foreign uncertainty again. As if he doesn’t understand how to act in a way that will not offend or hurt Seth. And his request…

Seth’s tears fall faster, chest clenching painfully.

“I-I don’t know,” he whispers dejectedly. He doesn’t. The confusion is just as bad as it was last night. Roman’s here. And Seth is…happy. But he’s hurting too. With the royal’s presence comes the memories of their relationship…and how it ended. Part of him is still so resentful at being unable to deny Roman a lot of things. And right now, that bitter him wants to send Roman back to Miami. Bitter him wants to deny Roman a lot of things. He wants to hurt Roman.

Roman’s sigh sounds like a hurricane, “Just say word, Seth. Say the word and I’ll—leave.”

_Stop saying that!_

_I want you to stay._

“Seth—”

“Shut up!” Seth turns away, fighting for some control. His cries haven’t ceased, and his head hurts. Not more than his heart though, it feels like he’s being ripped apart. What is he supposed to do? Rubbing his belly, with his eyes closed, Seth allows a trembling breath to sneak past. _This isn’t about you._ He reminds himself. Yes, he’s hurt. Hasn’t forgotten their breakup. But right now, the babies need their father. They’re kicking up a mess inside him right this very instant. Seth really thinks that they can sense him. He’s not making it up or imagining things. This always happens when he’s talking to Roman.

 _They_ _need_ _their_ _father._

“Stay…” he whispers finally, too scared to meet Roman’s gaze again. “Please stay…”

The hairs at the back of his neck stand, causing his eyes to snap wide open. _He’s_ right behind him. _His_ presence overwhelming. Seth stands completely still, terrified of making even the slightest movement. “Thank you, Seth.” _That_ voice, so intimate in his ear. _His_ enticing breath tickles Seth, sending the most delicious shivers down his spine. _Don’t…don’t. Please don’t…don’t. Please._ A hot searing heat tingles the entirety of Seth’s body, coaxing that familiar delicious tight clenching to all his muscles.

_No. Please…_

A moan sneaks past, and with it, Seth tears away, desperately trying to create some distance. “Seth?”

The tears get heavier and Seth doesn’t know why. There are so many reasons, that it’s all just lost and he can’t stop. He shuffles backward when Roman takes careful steps to him. What is he doing? “Please don’t…” Seth whispers when the proximity becomes too much for him to take. “D-Don’t come near me.”

Roman freezes, looking lost.

“Right, I’m sorry. I just, I don’t like it when you cry.” There is a desperation in Roman’s eyes that Seth doesn’t want to see.

“I’m not crying.”

Roman remains silent, it’s so clear he’s unsure of how to respond. Especially when the evidence is so blatant. The tears haven’t stopped. The babies start kicking again, far too roughly, causing Seth to wince while cupping the pulsing bulges. “Is anything the matter?”

Seth’s gaze snaps to Roman. “T-They’re gutting me. T-The babies.” He gasps in pain.

Silence again.

Roman’s awed curiosity is visible.

“Do you want to feel it?” the question registers after he’s asked it. Gaze widening, Seth opens and closes his mouth silently. He wants to turn back on his query but Roman’s looking at him with his dark pools, they are so bright, so child-like. He wants this. “Just help me sit down first,” Seth continues because Roman’s clearly a mute at the moment.

This man is seriously a mannequin.

“Row-man?” Seth tries again.

The royal breaks out of his stupor. Finally.

“I…sure.” Roman closes the distance, and even though Seth is worried about making any contact with him, he hasn’t much of a choice. Desire pools in Seth’s groin, much more fiercely, when Roman’s hand settles at the small of his back. Trying not too revel too much in how secure, and sure it feels around him, Seth deliberately fixes his gaze on the couch.

They make it to the couch, it felt like such a long walk, and Seth gets situated. Roman stands in front of him, creepily staring down at him. Seth has to make a conscious effort not to squirm…too much. The temptation is strong though. Looking up Roman, he shakily lifts his sweater, revealing his bulging belly. His entire body blushes crimson. He’s so big, huge in fact, and he doesn’t know why he cares but part of him fears Roman not finding him attractive anymore. Not that it matters, they’re not together after all.

“You’re beautiful,” Roman’s awed tone reaches his ears.

The royal has a talent for reading his mind. “Thank you,” Seth darts away from the attention, looking at a Lanuolan portrait on the east wall instead. “They are still active. You can…just…go ahead.”

He’s still looking at the portrait when Roman kneels on one knee in front of him. The touch is barely there at first, and Seth honestly wouldn’t have felt it had he not been hyperaware of Roman. And slowly, almost fearfully, the touch becomes more prominent—visible. A sharp intake of air has to be taken by Seth. _Skin to skin._ A familiar tightening in his groin betrays Seth. He bites his lip, reminding himself that there’s nothing sexual about Roman’s touches. It’s all innocent. A father bonding with his babies.

The babies react instantly, they’re kicking against his belly, eagerly trying to reach their father. Their father who’s speaking in deep Samoan, whispering really. Seth isn’t sure what he’s saying but his emotions resurface, forcing him to push away the tears. He’s not sure when he turned his attention to Roman again, but the childish amazement in the royal’s eyes tugs at his heartstrings. He just barely stops himself from cupping Roman’s cheeks to kiss him for being so endearing.

Jumping a little, Seth shudders as cold lips touch his belly. Roman’s arms also gain more confidence, encircling his waist. Seth barely prevents a giggle when his sweater falls, covering Roman’s head and trapping him there. He’s hidden inside Seth’s sweater. But the royal is clearly unperturbed, Seth can feel him smile as the babies respond to their father with gentle kicks. “Oute alofa ia oe,” he hears Roman finally say.

Seth lifts his sweater, meeting emotional dark eyes. Those dark swirls reel him in, they have him hypnotized. So dazed in fact, that unconsciously, he cups Roman’s cheeks, looking into his eyes as he whispers, “We love you too, so much.”

Roman’s dark brows furrow together, confusion evident on his chiseled features.

What is he so confused about?

Seth quickly snatches his hands away from Roman. The touch is burning his skin. And his eyes widen as his words register. _No, you didn’t!_ He viciously chides himself in his mind. “Let go of me,” he whispers shakily, attempting to create some distance. Nothing. It stirs frustration and anger within Seth. Dammit! He’s betraying himself…again! This is all Roman’s fault. “Row-man I said let me go!” Seth screeches, breathing quickly all of a sudden.

He obeys, stumbling backwards.

“Seth, listen to me—”

“No,” Seth interrupts, ignoring that desperation in Roman’s voice again. It sounds so sincere but he’s not going to be tricked by it. He’s not going to allow it to shatter his walls. “I-I have to go rest. I’m tired.”

“Seth please…” still so desperate.

“No Row-man, I can’t. Not today. I’m tired, please.” Seth looks at him, he’s not sure when he stood up, or how he managed to do it all on his own. Roman’s disappointment makes him feel guilty. Slowly, he waddles to the royal. Shakily his right hand lifts up, stroking Roman’s beard. He’s missed it so much. Almost as much as he missed it’s owner. “I—it’s not you. I just need some time. We’re…I feel like things have changed somehow. We, it’s not going to be the same for a while. And I’m confused, Row-man. It’s me…I need some time.” He’s not sure why he’s explaining himself like this. Especially to the object of his pain. Roman doesn’t deserve it. He doesn’t.

Roman nods once, and before Seth knows it, his arms are surrounding him. Seth’s eyes widen. _Push him away._ He wants to, dear god he wants to. But…it’s _his_ arms. Seth hasn’t had this in so long. And his body is reacting, trembling badly as it reaches out to the royal. _Roman’s scent._ Seth buries his face into the royal’s chest, futilely fighting against melting against Roman completely.

“I…if that is what you want, I’ll respect your wishes. I really don’t wish to impose on you, alofagia.” Roman’s lips are touching his ear, warm breath affecting Seth like nothing else. His voice, gentle but rumbling and deep, resonating in Seth’s deepest core.  

The brunet closes his eyes, hands fisted tightly on Roman’s Nike jacket. “How do you still do this to me?” he whispers tearfully.

Roman’s response is to kiss his hair.

“I’ve missed you, Seth.” He confesses, left hand slithering beneath Seth’s sweater to caress a warm back. It causes the heat in Seth’s groin to grow again. With much more fervor this time. He bites his lip, face firmly buried into Roman’s chest, hoping that Roman won’t feel _it._ “And I’ll give you the time. There’s a lot to talk about. I only wish to do that when you’re ready.”

Seth can’t fully concentrate with that big hand stroking his back. “Thank you.”

He’s reluctant as Roman creates the distance between them once more. The longing hits him immediately. Roman’s set jaw tells him that maybe it’s the same for the royal too. “I want to thank you for today. For allowing me to tag along. And, I…uh, I’ll be out of your way now. I’ll go back to the hotel.”

“Sure. My next appointment’s on Friday at noon…” he trails off, looking at his shoes.

Roman’s heavy sigh sounds in the room. “I—can’t.”

Seth’s heart drops to his stomach.

“I have therapy with Dr. Carson.”

Of course, Manuia told him how serious Roman is about therapy. Despite his disappointment, Seth can’t hold it against the royal. He can’t deny him the opportunity of getting better. “It’s okay, I understand.”

Silence.

They are looking at each other. Three minutes go by. And then five. Ten minutes. Twelve.

“On Tuesday though?” Roman asks.

Seth clears his throat, “Of course.”

He stands in place as Roman gets into his space. He’s paralyzed really, and wouldn’t be able to escape even if he wanted to. A hand folds behind his neck, squeezing gently. “I’ll see you around, Seth.” Roman’s lips touch his forehead.

Seth exhales softly, opening his eyes (he’s not sure when he closed them) and nods. It hurts in every way known to mankind when Roman steps away from him, spinning on his heels and walking away. It feels like the night of their breakup. He stands in place with the tears rolling down his cheeks, irrationally fearing the worst.

What if he leaves again?

Seth is still crying, collapsed on the couch when Manuia comes into view. “Seth, what’s wrong?”

Torturous thoughts flash through Seth’s mind. Pain lances through him, unwelcomed. “I’ve never been so scared in my life, Manu.” Seth reveals, hands trembling. “I don’t know what’s supposed to happen. He’s right here, _he’s here._ And it’s invoking so many emotions within me. We were arguing, some of it my fault because I’m still so angry at him, but we were fighting. I—can’t stand that. I don’t want to always fight him. But sometimes I can’t help it—I’m just reminded of the hurt he’s caused me and I want to lash out.”

Manuia sighs, “Therapy.” He reveals again.

Seth’s starting to think that it’s really necessary. He really is. There’s so much going on with him.

“Roman told me he wants to find me one,” Seth confesses absently. His hands wring together, shuddering breath sneaking past. “Maybe he’s right. Maybe you’re both right.”

“Then let him do this for you, sweetheart. You’re still so angry, so emotional. Have you even forgiven Roman…for the past? What’s happened between the two of you?”

“I haven’t thought about it…” Seth bites his lip, cradling his bump.

“Do you feel he needs your forgiveness?”

“Maybe…I don’t know.”

Manuia sighs, kissing his hair. “A therapist could help you figure those things out. Let Roman do this for you.”

“Can you tell him to come over? Tomorrow?”

“I…sure,” Manuia nods in confusion.

Seth doesn’t try to explain to him. Today’s interaction with Roman was enough, he can’t talk to the royal again, lest he break down. “Thank you so much, Manuia.” _Not just about you._ He reminds himself. Roman and himself need to make this work. For their babies. And he needs to work on himself too. It’s the only way they can all be happy. And maybe, just maybe… _you’ll be a family._ A voice, buried so deep within him, whispers, revealing his deepest, most painful desire. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading.


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